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How to Deal with a Manager Who Undermines You · Enhance.training

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Having to deal with a manager who undermines you is an extra tough situation to resolve.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Managers have more authority and influence within the company through their position than you are likely to have.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: So dealing with this situation requires extra care and a slightly different approach.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm taking you through the signs of undermining behaviour to look out for and these five steps for how to deal with a manager who undermines you at work.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, document examples of the undermining.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, speak to your manager.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Third, find allies.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, ask your manager or ally to confront the underminer.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then fifth, escalate to HR andor senior management.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of the podcast, I talk through what to do if your line manager is the underminer and give you tips on how to market your work and results within the business to counteract the effects of undermining behaviour.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Jess Coles and I've had a 25-year management career in corporates and household names such as Innocent Drinks, Fosters, EY, and Peer Consulting, all the way through to SMEs.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Early in my career I had to deal with the boss undermining me.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I knew then what to do when managers undermine you.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: It would have ended a lot better for me.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new to this podcast, Enhanced.training shares business and people management expertise to help you improve your performance and that of your team and business.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And do visit us at enhance.training and take a look at the courses and resources for you to improve your management skills and the outcome your team delivers.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: When undermining is taking place, you want to be able to spot undermining behaviour really quickly and take action as soon as possible.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: The longer you leave taking action, the more time the manager has to negatively influence the perceptions of others in the business and the harder it will be for you to recover their good opinion.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: The undermining behaviour can start for any number of reasons.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Some common reasons include if firstly they feel threatened by you and how well colleagues within the business think of you.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, if you've personally or socially offended them in some way.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Third, if they just don't like you on a personal level.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, if your manager or others have offended them and undermining you is their way of getting back at them.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And there can be plenty of other reasons too.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Common signs that a person may be trying to undermine you include firstly a not sharing information with you, such as meeting invites to make you look poor or unprofessional.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, telling you incorrect information or suggesting detrimental courses of action.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thirdly, withholding information or work that you need to enable you to hit deadlines, i.e.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: repeatedly forgetting to send you information.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, gossiping about you or spreading false or malicious rumours about you, your work and capability.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth, taking credit for your work or the work of your team.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sixth, trying to influence or take charge of your team members, i.e.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: asking your team members to report to them.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And seventh, trying to weaken your relationship with your manager or more senior staff above you.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Keep an eye out for behaviour or actions that repeatedly put you in a bad light.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone has makes mistakes at times or says the wrong thing.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: It is repeated undermining behaviour which is not a coincidence or a mistake that you really need to keep an eye out for.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are unfortunate to be on the receiving end of undermining behaviour, let's go through the five actions to take when managers undermine you.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: The first step to deal with a manager who undermines you is to document examples of the undermining.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Documenting examples of the undermining may seem like overkill when you first become aware of any undermining behaviour.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because undermining behaviour is usually subtle, you know, verbal comments or put downs or persons deliberately not taking normal action, it can be hard to prove the undermining behaviour or actions that are actually happening.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, start capturing at least these three things as soon as you can't become aware of the undermining actions.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, you know what's happened, i.e., Bill had let me know that Olivia told him the reason we missed our targets was because Jess was the reason we lost the ABC tender.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, the when, the time and the date undermining actions actually happened.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: And third, the impact on you, your work or your team.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: The impact of the undermining will be what nearly every manager or company will care about.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: The better managers will also care about your feelings, motivation, and the emotional impact of the undermining actions on you.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: The quicker you start capturing information about the occurrences of the undermining behavior, then the quicker you can build up a convincing case that the undermining by a manager is happening.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: When dealing with a manager who undermines you, having evidence to show a pattern of undermining actions is needed.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Your opinion alone will not be enough.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Without solid evidence, you might be labelled a troublemaker or have your professionalism questioned.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Do not take any further steps until you have a good bank of examples that clearly demonstrates a pattern of undermining by the manager in question.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: The second step to deal with a manager who undermines you is to speak to your manager.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Assuming that your line manager is not the underminer, then use the evidence that you have collected to prove undermining is taking place and ask for your manager's help.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your manager should be your most important supporter and will be invaluable in stopping the undermining behaviour.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Arrange a private meeting or bring up the issue in your one-on-one meeting.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Tips for the meeting include, firstly, prepare what you're going to say and practice it.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Keep to the facts rather than opinion as much as possible.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, bring a copy of the evidence of the undermining behaviour and its impact on you, the team and the business.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Third, ask for your manager's advice on how to deal with this situation.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, manage your own emotions carefully during the meeting, yet be professional.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Thank them for their advice and time regardless of the outcome.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Your goal is to get your manager to support and help you and take action on your behalf.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: When the underminer is a manager more senior to you, getting supporters on the same level or more senior than the underminer is important.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: The third step to deal with a manager who undermines you is to find allies.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: You're looking to find allies who are at an equivalent level or more senior to the manager undermining you, or peers that are suffering similar treatment from the undermining manager.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Take this step carefully and subtly.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: You must avoid undermining the person who is undermining you, or avoid anything that might be interpreted as undermining them.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you can find additional peers or colleagues that are being undermined by the manager in question and they are willing to collect examples of the undermining behaviour or actions, this will strengthen your case a lot and make action more likely.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: With more senior allies, your goal is to ask them to support your manager to confront the undermining manager, or if your manager is not willing to confront them, to ask your ally to do so instead.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be very careful who you ask and speak to when building senior allies.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your examples should be strong and your approach to them should be gradual.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: There is a good chance the potential ally will have a closer relationship with the undermining manager than with you.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: The fourth step to deal with a manager who undermines you is to ask your manager or ally to confront the underminer.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: When you've gathered all of your examples, organized them and collated them, set them out in an easy-to-follow document and give this to your manager or ally.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: The examples will give them a reference point and reminders of exactly what you've talked to them through, and a set of documented examples will make it much more likely the underminer will stop their undermining actions.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure the person confronting the manager undermining you is at least a peer or more senior than the manager in question if at all possible.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: The outcome of the confrontation is likely to be, you know, firstly, the undermining stops, you hopefully permanently.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, the undermining manager continues with more subtle undermining behaviour or maybe even increases it.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And third, the undermining manager retaliates against you in some other way.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Be ready for the meeting not to go the way you hoped.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: You could also accompany your manager or ally to the meeting with the undermining manager.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you do, be ready to talk through what you're experiencing and counterclaims being made against you.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: The fifth step to deal with a manager who undermines you is to escalate to HR andor senior management.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you need to take this step, then the situation is getting pretty serious and you and your manager have not been able to resolve it.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I would expect that speaking to your manager and confronting the undermining manager should resolve 90% plus of cases of undermining by managers in the business.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you escalate to senior management or HR, be prepared for questions about your behaviour, the evidence that you have collated so far, and so on.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is why it's so important to be professional throughout the previous steps and avoid any actions that might indicate that you are trying to undermine the other person.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you do get to the stage, be prepared for the action to be taken against you, even if you're in the right.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, HR and senior managers are likely to do what is best for the business, which may not be the best for you.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Throughout experiencing any undermining behaviour, it remains very important to maintain your motivation, your standards of work and the results that you deliver.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about what to do if your manager is the underminer.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Line manager support is very important in dealing with undermining.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a boss who undermines you, the situation is a lot harder to deal with than if another manager is the underminer.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Assuming the undermining is deliberate and continues after you've highlighted to your manager that they are undermining you, then I would suggest the most practical solution would be to get yourself another manager.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you're able to get another good job elsewhere fairly easily, I would suggest you think about moving company.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: The alternative approach would be to go through the steps outlined, excluding obviously seeking the support of your manager.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Build your evidence, get allies, and hold a conversation with your manager.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Then escalate if your manager continues to undermine you.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is likely to be an uphill battle, and I would suggest the outcome you aim for is to move internally to another team so you have a different manager.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Putting up with undermining behaviour will hinder your career, and it's very unlikely that you'll get promoted or get exposure to the experience building projects that help move careers forward.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And lastly, as promised, we're going to talk about marketing yourself within a business, which is super important.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever you encounter undermining behavior, it is essential to maintain or improve the standards of your work and what you deliver.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: The more valuable the work and output you produce, the easier it is to counter when colleagues or managers undermine you at work.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Just doing your work alone is not enough.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Make people in the wider business aware of the great work that you are doing.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: This can be a scary prospect for many, yet remains very important, particularly when faced with a manager trying to undermine you.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Some tips to do this well include firstly highlighting the impact of work and projects that you are doing for the business.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Send emails explaining the impact or add this into conversation with managers and stakeholders.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, create measurable metrics to show the value being added.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And circulate these to stakeholders.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Third, ask supporters to shout about what you're doing to managers and stakeholders in the business.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: And fourth, build a stronger relationship with your line manager and keep them aware of the value you are delivering.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth, send out team newsletters internally to the business.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Take opportunities to present project outputs and similar profile raising exercises.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And sixth, ask managers and stakeholders to coffee and lunch to get to know them better on a professional and personal level.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: There is a lot that you can do to raise your profile and shout about the positive aspects of what you deliver at work.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Put in the extra effort to market yourself internally.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is great practice anyway, and definitely one of the many steps to take when managers undermine you.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: So in summary, we've gone through the signs to look out for so you can stop a manager undermining you as quickly as possible.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: We've gone through the five steps to deal with a manager who undermines you, and we have discussed your options when your line manager undermines you.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: To recap, the five steps are firstly, document examples of the undermining.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, speak to your manager.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Third, find allies.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, ask your manager or ally to confront the underminer.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then fifth, escalate to HR andor senior management.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: There is a lot you can do proactively to raise your profile within the business and shout about the good work that you're doing.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Take as many of these steps as you feel comfortable doing as it will pay you dividends in the long run.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions, please drop me an email at support at enhance.training and I'll get back to you.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening, and I look forward to speaking to you again soon.