Latest / She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ / How To Mend A Broken Mother and Daughter Relationship With Blythe Daniel and Dr. Helen McIntosh

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How To Mend A Broken Mother and Daughter Relationship With Blythe Daniel and Dr. Helen McIntosh · She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ

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My friend, this is Jamie. Elizabeth and you are listening
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to. She speaks live podcast inside.
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Every episode is an invitation to recognize God's goodness and
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faithfulness through stories and life experiences and encourages
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us to know that God cares about the details of Our Lives.
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We are not alone and what we go through together, we can speak
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life to share that Jesus is the only way truth and life so join
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me. And let's get to know our next
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guest. Hi friend, welcome back to she
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speaks life. I'm so excited for Blythe,
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Daniel and her mom, dr. Helen McIntosh to both be
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joining us today. This mother-daughter team have
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written several books, including the ones we will be chatting
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about called mended and their newest release called.
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I love you Mom together. We are going to discuss on how
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to honor our moms and celebrate her and the importance of
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becoming a mom who Rise life and dr.
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Helen welcome. I'm so glad you are both here.
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Thank you. Thank you so much.
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Oh my gosh. I'm really excited about this
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because this is only the second time.
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I've had two guests on here. So I look at it as double the
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fun, double the encouragement and one story and I am so glad
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you're here. Blythe, I know I met you a
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couple times. Times at various conferences and
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I would just love for you to share with our friend that's
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listening. Tell us who you are and what you
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do and where you're from great. I'm so happy to join you today
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Jamie. I think so, highly of you and
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your ability to want to help women to encourage moms and so
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that really is my heart as well, is to as a mom of three
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children, I can't recall him. Anymore, either one of the two
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major ones and then the other two are almost teens, but my
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heart is to help just women to know that they matter and that
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their relationships matter. And that there is a way to have
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healthy relationships. I've watched my mom navigate
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this in her life, with her mom and in the way that she's
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navigated it with me, and I just, I do want young women, and
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women my age, middle-aged to just see how God is.
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Has created us unique but also to just be strong and him and
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where there's been hurt to ask for restoration and so I live in
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Colorado Springs which is a big Mecca of publishing and Ministry
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and my husband and I have been involved in Ministry out here
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for almost 18 years. We've been married and involved
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in some sort of ministry since that time.
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But yeah, it's just extremely thankful to be on with you today
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and just to be able to have this time together.
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Thank you. Yeah, I love it.
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Helen. How about you share more about
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who you are? Well, thank you.
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I want so much to encourage your listeners today.
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I did have a broken relationship with my mom growing up in
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Montgomery, Alabama, and some fabulous beyond that, but I live
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presently in Dalton Georgia and just have a great story to tell
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about how God has strengthened life and I and taught us many
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many. Many things about relationships
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and they have a lot to do with words and I love that your
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ministry is called she speaks life and I have been chewing on
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Proverbs 18:21 for months now, it's the versus you.
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Well know about that words have the power to give bring life or
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death. And so my story began with
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Mother's hurtful words in my life.
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They her But difficult words just hurt me so much that I
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really did. I did not know God until I was
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27 but how did pray as a young child anyway?
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And I asked him to show me a different way that if I ever had
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children. I wanted to learn how to speak.
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Well because words just matter. Not only the words themselves
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but the message that comes with it.
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So that's sort of quick. Yeah, preview to what I love.
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I love that. Yeah, it sure does.
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And obviously with the title of this podcast she speaks life I
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take it to heart and make it a priority in our life because it
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really is important. Okay?
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Babe life. I know we're going to be talking
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about your guys's books and I really know that you can shed
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some Light on the reality of a mother-daughter relationship
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doesn't always come in a perfect package and I kind of wanted to
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set the stage here from your book, men did and it's called
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mended restoring the hearts of mothers and daughters.
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And I really thought this would be a great thing just to begin
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with. As we're talking about about
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mother and daughter relationships.
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And you had said mothers and daughters are often linked in
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our culture and both positive and negative ways.
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When women think about who they are, it's possible.
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They think about how they are similar to their mother or how
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they don't want to be like her at all.
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But no matter where your path have taking you, there's a path.
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You can both take to bring yourselves back to each other.
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It's now not later. But now, the Bible has a lot to
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say about restoring relationships.
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We Believe God's design is for families to pursue him even when
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their families are messed up and messed up.
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They are so I just wanted to lead into kind of setting that
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stage. What was it?
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Like, growing up with your mom? And was there any kind of
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struggle that? That you can share with us.
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That was one of those that really made.
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You feel like you need to overcome in a big way.
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Yeah, those are great, great thoughts and great questions and
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I think for me watching my mom navigate the relationship with
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her mom, it certainly showed me that you know words mattered and
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the way that we saw each other the way that she talked to me
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the way that her mom talk to her.
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And I grew up in a home where my mom really honored Me by asking
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questions, asking powerful questions.
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And I think that that was so helpful for me and she never
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tried to like, say you should do this and you shouldn't think
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that like, because she'd been taught those things.
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She'd been said those things have been said to her.
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So I would say that as I grew up my Independence, took over.
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So by the time that even though my mom and my dad offered such a
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loving environment, I began to just really want to do things in
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my own way. I began to, you know, kind of
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isolate that last year of high school and just kind of thought,
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I knew best what was happening and even making decisions going
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off to college ways that I would, you know, conduct my life
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ways that I would manage money ways, that I would manage my
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weight, my self-image. And, and, you know, it wasn't
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me, figuring things out on my own and coming back to my
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parents with the struggles in my My heart it really was them
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reaching out to me and saying, we just want to talk to you
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about these things. What can we do to support you?
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And so even though I was resistant to some of that and
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initially I think it was really seeing their heart for me, was
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it to try to judge me or correct me?
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It was to offer any help that I thought that I might need from
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them and they did they did offer some help in those areas.
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I would just say that any struggles were probably more
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just me being resistant to that and Not fully embracing what my
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parents could offer me. What?
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My mom could offer me in those areas of my life.
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And then I would say later as a new mom, I felt like I knew
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best, what was for my kids. And even if my mom had a word
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where she felt like, okay, maybe I should ask like this question,
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maybe that would be helpful for Blythe, my taking it harshly, or
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taking it the wrong way, cause some friction and my
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relationship with Mom and even with my husband.
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And so we About those things. Like we took some time apart
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from Mom and process that as a husband and a wife.
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And then came back together with Mom and it was just being super
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honest. And be able to say, I know that
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you said this and this is how we interpreted it, and then she
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could say that wasn't how I meant it to come across.
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So like, yeah, I think it was just honesty, that's really
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helped in our relationship and then me not being resistant to,
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or me, understanding her heart and then as being able to talk
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about it. If I didn't, And her heart or if
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I thought that maybe it wasn't coming from a healthy place.
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And I could say, mom that just feels hurtful or that feels hard
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to me right now and ultimately it was about how do we restore,
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how do we come back to a place where we truly feel like we're
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for each other and we support each other?
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So good, you know? Open communication, it's so key.
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I mean, there's so many arguments and strife that could
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be prevented if we just share. Like you're saying, oh well this
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is how I felt and then the other person going well I didn't mean
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it that way, you know and then it clears the air so sounds
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healthy it sounds like you hadn't healthy upbringing their
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okay, Alan. How about you what was it like,
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raising your daughter blight? Oh, I'll tell you what, a
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pleasure it really was to a fault.
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I made up a word when we wrote mended and it's called Over
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love. That was the deep hole I fell
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in. It was a form of codependency.
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So I'm not raving about it, it was not a good thing because my
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relationship with my mother was so difficult.
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And my relationship with Blythe was So Glorious.
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I did just, I just adored that child.
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And but when it came time for her, to go to college, boy, I
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realized what. I was in, I realized that I had
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absolutely over over loved and had to self.
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Correct. But I would say that we have
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both learned that a real relationship, killers are
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control and criticism. And so again words just means so
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much. And I have worked hard to not
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because even overlap can be a control.
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And I knew that I did not want that in our relationship.
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So I did say Blythe. Life.
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When you sense any control on my part or anything that's not
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quite right? That would block our
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communication or our relationship.
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Would you please let me know and blessedly she never did holler.
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So I'm assuming that it never happened but I became super
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aware of what were the real Minds that needed to be not
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stepped on? So I am really Very aggressive
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when I talk to other children or mothers about their
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relationship, I want so much to encourage them to not be
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controlling or critical. One of the things I have loved
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teaching, mother's is to say if they are tempted to give
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feedback or with some would call it criticism, but we're just
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calling it feedback, but if they want to give feedback that they
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ask themselves in another words they would say may, I share some
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thoughts, Thoughts that I have and get permission.
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That is really a big help, a huge, huge, big help.
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That's so that's one thought that we can pass along.
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That's so good. I'm marking that one down.
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Because, yeah, my son just got married, he's 21, they're still
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in college last week. They got married.
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So these are good little nose to take down for my new
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daughter-in-law as well. So, Thank you for that so good.
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Okay, so let's talk about your book, I love you Mom.
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I love this devotional type outline on giving affirmations
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and just letting moms know that they're doing a job.
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Well done and you guys covered every topic and I definitely
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highlighted some of the The ones that I absolutely love that,
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I'll share a little later there, but it's so beautiful.
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And it makes such a great gift for moms mother-in-law's and
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daughters and anybody. So I wanted to ask you guys, do
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you feel like in this society and our culture that moms are
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missing out? On those affirmations.
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Because I know when we are just doing the day in, and day out,
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we're exhausted or tired. I remember when mine were little
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and now I have teenagers, but, you know, it's still just doing
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the same thing over and over again every day and it's
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exhausting and you're like, oh my goodness, does anyone see me?
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I am just like, so, So flat-out done.
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So, do you feel like this is missing in this world today?
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I really do. And I think mom agrees is well,
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you know, just what you just said, Jamie is so true because
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sometimes husbands don't give words of affirmation the way
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that we would want them to and that can feel disappointing.
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Like like do they notice everything that I'm doing?
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They're not saying anything or, you know, maybe we just want our
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kids to say thank you every once in awhile and they do Not.
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So there can be disappointment that we aren't being recognized
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and and we try to trudge through and we just kind of maybe say
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well that's just that's just the way it is and I'll still keep
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going. But deep down we want someone to
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recognize the hard work that it takes as a mom and so really
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that's kind of what led to this book.
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I love you Mom, cherished word gifts from my heart to yours is
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because we just wanted to be a mom and a daughter that would
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say hey we see you. We see the work, you're doing
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and God's word. As a firm you as a mom from
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scripture and we want to share stories with you that would
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affirm you and we want to offer you a word gift that that you
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can take and put in your pocket and know that you are a
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treasure. Or you are faithful.
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You are confident like you have these qualities about you that
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God has put in you. And if you don't hear it from
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anybody else, hear it from God. Let us be women that can just
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point you to his words for you. And so that really was our hope.
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That women would feel Encouraged.
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You know I do feel like that there are a lot of different
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accolades that people get but they're not a lot of accolades,
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that's a great job as a mom, you know, mostly people focus on the
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kids achievements but not so much for moms.
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So true. And I love this too because I
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was combing through, I was reading each of the devotion.
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I saw that, you know, this is good for women that aren't good.
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Good with communicating those words of affirmation.
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So I thought of this as what a great thing to get for your mom,
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to just be able to have it written in a book, just how much
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they mean to her. And so I just kind of thought of
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that because not everybody is good at, you know, sharing their
17:00
heart and being transparent and vocal about how much they
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appreciate their mom. And Just provided something that
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they can give to their mom and, and have it there as a written
17:13
record for forever. So, how about you Helen?
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We have any thoughts on that the mothers?
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Yes, the mothers my age are the chickens are out of the nest.
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So he said he but they are looking for something important
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to do. I believe there's so much
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darkness in this world right now.
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And I've seen so many friends who just long to let their light
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shine in special ways and so Blythe, and I have called this
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little mission of ours. A Legacy of Love, meaning that
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we would like to encourage women of all ages to minister to those
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down below or head of them. Generationally and Isaiah 58:12
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has been so important to Blythe and eyes.
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We wrote These two books because it talks about Being repairs of
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the breach and there are so many breaches in marriages and
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families and homes today, relationships.
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Oh my gosh, they're so broken and I just said, wanting to send
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out a call if I could play a bugle.
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I would. But just a cough, two women to
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rise up. And it does say in Isaiah 58:12,
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right before it talks, about being repairers of the breach.
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It says, and they will come from - I just saw that and they've
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just a few weeks ago and I said fly that you and your children.
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So are there so many verses especially as they the end of
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Isaiah like 58 59, 60, a lot in there about the generations that
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it's really throughout the Bible but there is compelling reason
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in our culture today for us to get going B.
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A of the breach and one of the main ways is our words is now.
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Yeah. So true.
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Okay, I had it written down somewhere.
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But what were the three words that you taught Life as a little
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girl, it was rebuild restore. And there was another, our that
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you wrote in your book, mended restore rebuild repair.
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I think, I think those are the 3 R's and they work together so
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well because it's hard to have Action until you've rebuilt the
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walls between you. But, you know, we talked a
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little bit about and it is clear and Isaiah.
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That walls were built to fortify a city, which was helpful, but
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walls between us and our relationships are not helpful.
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And so, even as a mom, I'm constantly looking for ways for
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me to Tear Down the Walls that I've put up, so that it makes it
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hard for my kids to come to me. One might be busyness.
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So I put a wall around myself. I'm too busy right now, for you.
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To come to me another. I mean, you know, there's
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there's just various examples of that and my job as a mom, I feel
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like is to help tear down those walls so that my kids so that
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nothing complicates their being able to reach me.
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And then if they have walls that I'm seeing in their lives
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around, something is to ask them about that, you know, maybe I
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might say, Hey, you know, where do you feel like it's hard for
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you to let someone in right now? Or maybe?
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Where is it hard for you to talk about something with me and is
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there anything that I've done that that's put up a wall.
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Also that it is hard for you, but I just I'm aware of that.
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It's easy to put up walls and it's easy to.
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It's easy for people to not want to communicate with you when
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that happens for sure. Yeah, you kind of get closed
20:52
off, right? It's non-biting to open up and
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totally agree. Okay.
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I'm going to share my favorite topics out of the book.
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I love you Mom, and then you guys can share what your
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favorites are. Our.
21:08
And it's it's going to be probably all unique because
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that's the way God speaks to us is so unique.
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So I'm pulling out ones that are important to me in the season of
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life. And because I just had a son
21:23
that got married, I love in the very beginning holding treasure
21:27
close and how you need to let go, but that you'll always hold
21:34
the treasure in your heart. You said, sometimes, as mother,
21:38
As we get caught up in the Chase and don't think about the lives.
21:41
We are helping to mold. We often feel we can't hold our
21:44
child close enough or long enough, maybe like Mary you have
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thought about how you can hold onto the Treasure of time and
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not release your child to the world.
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Just yet, you want to know that the one you are, raising is
21:58
close by and you know that just hit home.
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Right there goes. I just fit my son off to be a
22:07
husband. There and I'm sure we all have
22:10
those moments like you had Helen having life go off to college.
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And and then the other one was like the do-over.
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I think that's so important for moms to know that we can come to
22:25
our kids and take out that pride and get humble and apologize and
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say I am so sorry. I am so wrong.
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I've done that lots of times. More times than I can count of
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going to my kids and going what I did was not right.
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Please. You know, forgive me and kind of
22:47
bouncing around you guys do have a really good chapter here and
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your book men did that Helen you wrote about forgiveness and it's
23:00
the first step in making the healing happen is just by saying
23:04
sorry. And you know, I highlighted Half
23:08
of the page there and that section.
23:09
So I'm not going to go and read it right now, but I highly
23:13
recommend it to our friend who's listening is so good.
23:18
And the other one let's see is what we were just talking about
23:24
Tree of Life, Giving words and how much of an impact our words
23:30
have on our kids and the kindness releases.
23:34
You said honesty, empathy and care.
23:38
Giving your loved one. This gift brings them back to
23:41
you when they need you. Most what thoughtfulness do you
23:44
want to deliver today? Which is so great and gives you
23:47
room to kind of jot that down and reflect.
23:50
So what are your guys has favorites out of this book?
23:55
Well I'll start with one that I really felt like when we wrote
23:59
it and it's still applicable today is that the one and I love
24:04
you mom called God with you and And the verse does come from
24:09
Isaiah, which mom was mentioning earlier, this is Isaiah 41:10,
24:13
but the word gift that is attached with this.
24:15
So, at the end of every devotional, there is a word
24:19
gift. And so this one is called you
24:21
are fearless. And and I love that the story of
24:26
Naomi and Ruth taught us to not be fearful.
24:30
I mean they could have been and their culture for sure to
24:33
widowed women. Basically had had not much CH
24:38
and and so the way that God provided for them and I love
24:42
that, you know, just shows us that that no matter where we
24:46
are, we don't, we don't have to have any fear is a part of our
24:50
journey and it's just a really good reminder to not fear the
24:54
future, but to trust God's plan because fear could have crept
24:58
into their relationship which would have messed up their
25:00
relationship but also just, you know, on the road that they
25:03
would walk together and they didn't have to look anxiously
25:06
into the future. God, God, Show them and
25:08
establish their step. So, I think in our culture where
25:11
Fear Can quickly escalate for either parents or children, I
25:16
think it's just a good reminder, that thing that we said in this
25:21
world gift is that Mom? We both face challenges but we
25:24
can remind each other to be brave.
25:26
We can choose to be full of faith in our days ahead rather
25:30
than fearful. So that when it's one, that I
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really found myself reading a number of Times even after we've
25:39
turned it into the publisher. Just reminding myself of
25:43
fearlessness. Yeah, Jesus book that over and
25:46
over again do not be afraid. Do not be afraid because he knew
25:49
we needed it. Yeah.
25:51
Hey, how about you Helen? Well, I was just thinking back
25:55
to how powerful words are. I mean, God spoke the world into
26:01
existence by words. So they are so powerful, aren't
26:05
they? And then switching subjects now?
26:08
Your question, my favorite to our life with no regrets.
26:15
That is such an important, important, life principle.
26:19
And then I love the last of the 25 devotionals and it's called
26:23
blessing. I think, just for women, my age,
26:27
that the blessing is such an important concept for them to
26:32
activate and pass along, as well as encourage the ones behind.
26:37
Find her to live a life of No Regrets that you just don't one
26:42
of my favorite. Favorite verses is Ephesians
26:45
6:13 it says having done all to stand and that's all we can do
26:50
but we can if there's something that we need to do we need to do
26:55
it and then take a stand so that we don't have any regrets.
27:00
I think those are very important life principles and so I hope
27:04
the devotionals will encourage them to move forward.
27:08
In those two ways, I love that. You mentioned Blythe.
27:13
In your intro, in the book, mended about the special bond
27:20
between a mom and daughter. And that the most beautiful, and
27:24
the most volatile relationships are often between a mother and
27:29
daughter. Why is the mother-child
27:33
relationship so foundational, you know, it really starts in
27:37
the womb. Umm, how the child receives
27:41
nutrients but also a sense of self and a sense of life, from
27:46
being connected, to their mom in the womb.
27:49
And, and it carries on till after birth, there's an
27:52
automatic connection that is hardwired into us by God.
27:56
I do believe and many women, you know, grow up with daughters.
28:02
That look like them and talk like them and act like them.
28:05
And so we don't even realize sometimes the Or of how closely
28:09
connected we are to a mom, and because of that closeness, if
28:12
there's any break in the relationship, if there's hurt
28:16
and disappointment or lack of love, then it can reflect on the
28:21
daughter and it can make, you know, the daughter even to see
28:24
the mom and a different light or not want to have anything to do
28:27
with their mom. So, there is a sense of identity
28:29
that comes. And I think for people that have
28:32
had a difficult relationship with her mom, and may not feel
28:35
like it can ever be repaired, we want to First go to God and say,
28:39
God, I know that you created me and I know that you created her
28:42
for me that that is the mom that I was to have an inn.
28:46
So first, just recognizing how you feel?
28:49
And to being honest with God about it and asking him to
28:53
forgive you, if there's any part in you that has held a grudge or
28:57
has contributed towards the relationship in a negative way,
29:00
is to get that cleansing at, get that forgiveness from God first
29:03
and then go to your mom or your daughter.
29:06
And just say, God has shown You that I have had these thoughts
29:09
that I need to clear up with you, or I need to ask your
29:12
forgiveness for such-and-such. And it I want to take
29:16
responsibility for my part in our lack of togetherness or our
29:22
discontent. And I ask you to forgive me for
29:25
and you can name the things that that you sense are there.
29:28
And then, you know, ask the person, what do you think we
29:32
need to do to make things better between us?
29:34
And I think that probably what we're saying the most in these
29:38
books and resources is that the best way to have a relationship
29:42
is to be humble, is to take on the things that, you know, that
29:45
you can take on and say, I humbly come before you and ask
29:48
for your forgiveness or this is my desire is to have a better
29:52
relationship with you. How do we get there?
29:55
And that, that would be the key. I feel like with the way to
29:58
restore to receive God's restoration and then offer it
30:02
even if they haven't deserved it, even if they haven't asked
30:05
for it. And so we even hope this book I
30:07
love you. Could be a tool to help
30:10
relationships be restore because it's simply offering words of
30:13
life. You don't even have to say
30:14
anything, you can give the book and to say, this is my heart for
30:17
you. And we've seen women that have
30:19
done that that have been really grateful that they were able to
30:22
extend love in this way and offer words to their mom or
30:26
daughter. That could speak their heart.
30:28
So good. Okay.
30:30
How can we honor and celebrate our moms, you know back to
30:35
words. I just love.
30:37
Of that, we were able to put in the mended book.
30:40
Over three dozen conversation starters, similar to what Blythe
30:46
just shared. I think one way to celebrate is
30:49
to be bold and Fierce and go forward into delicate territory.
30:55
But as you say, if you go in humbly and with love, it's going
30:59
to just be great because what you're saying basically is I
31:03
long for a good relationship with you a better relationship
31:06
and what do I think we need to do to make things better.
31:10
It's so inviting and so it's just time.
31:16
It is time for those broken ripped places in the
31:20
relationship to be addressed which leads us into how can we
31:25
become a mom? Who prays?
31:28
I have a huge testimony, I'm prayer.
31:31
And now I am a prayer Warrior and I am always praying over
31:37
Mike. Kids and I had just talked about
31:41
how important it is to even have your children.
31:43
Pray over you and giving them the opportunity to pray out loud
31:48
and lay their hands on their mom.
31:51
So it's not just you preying on your kids, but giving them, the
31:54
opportunity to pray over their moms or dads.
31:57
So, tell me how can we become a mom who prays?
32:02
I think one of the things that has encouraged me is
32:06
recognizing, All significant prayer is and that on the days
32:10
that we aren't offering up prayers, The Fallout from that
32:15
and I feel like I'm more submitted when I'm praying and I
32:19
also realized the power of prayer because I feel like if we
32:22
see how amazing God moves, not that he doesn't move when we
32:27
don't pray, but but there's a there's a union between us when
32:30
we are praying and and I feel like it's just so important for
32:34
us to realize that our prayers, really do matter, they do.
32:37
Effect and in scripture so clear about this that right?
32:41
The prayers of a righteous man availeth much and so God tells
32:45
us to pray. We know it's important sometimes
32:47
we kind of skip out on it but it is really just a conversation
32:51
with god. And when we involve him in our
32:52
day and when we involve him in the things that matter to us, he
32:56
is so delighted in that and it just it solidifies our
32:59
relationship with him but it also just makes us feel like
33:02
everything's covered. No matter if things go crazy,
33:05
like we know that we've been in prayer, God knows our hearts and
33:09
so we are prayed up so to say in the spirit and I just I feel
33:13
like it's just such a great posture for us to live and as
33:17
you said to Jamie just showing our kids how important it is for
33:20
them to pray as well. It's a great role model for
33:22
building future Kingdom leaders. Yeah.
33:26
Yeah for sure I know just gives you that peace that surpasses
33:31
all understanding and it's such a gift and I love that.
33:36
You said we've First need to find the prayer is significant
33:41
and the power of prayer, because that's where that was a lack of
33:48
my understanding, and knowledge, didn't realize how much power
33:52
there is in prayer. And then when I gained the
33:56
knowledge, through God's word and understood, that prayer is
34:01
essential, is like a priority in this life.
34:05
There's so much power in it. And it was all over.
34:08
So it is add to that, too. But before Mom, because I've
34:13
just said, say that we've seen healing, we've seen turn of
34:16
events. We think we've seen things shift
34:19
because of prayer and so I know that we participate with God
34:24
when we pray and and, you know, it's almost like when we pray,
34:27
we are talking to God and when we read his word, he's talking
34:30
to us. And so it's a two-way.
34:32
Communication Street there. Yeah, sure is.
34:35
It's just the atmosphere. I love it.
34:37
It Helen. How about you?
34:39
Oh, I tell you, when I want a strong prayer, I called Bligh.
34:45
Now she and I have all him passions in the world for
34:49
prayer, but she is, she really is gifted in it.
34:53
Donut life. I call you off of them.
34:56
So I please pray for this. It's just something strong that
35:00
God has really given her and I that I believe in it
35:05
wholeheartedly and just I think that is just the most important
35:12
thing we could do. Each day is to wrap ourselves in
35:15
prayer and pray for others. Yeah, one day that Mom has done
35:19
over the years and she probably she's too humble to share this.
35:22
But her Bible is marked up full of prayers that she has prayed
35:26
inside the margins of her Bible next to certain scriptures.
35:29
And so she has incorporated the word with prayer.
35:33
Like she'll pray a scripture over us and I think that's a
35:35
great idea for moms is if you Even know what to pray.
35:39
You can pray a scripture over yourself over your children and
35:42
brighten your Bible and put the date in there and be able to go
35:45
back and look and see how God is answer those prayers.
35:47
I think that's one thing that Mom has taught me in her prayer
35:50
life and she's an amazing prayer, Warrior herself.
35:54
But that's just something practical that we can do.
35:58
It sure is. That's why I Journal like crazy
36:01
because it's a written record of your prayers.
36:04
Being put down on paper and You can look back on that and see
36:11
the faithfulness of God and his goodness, and answering those
36:14
prayers. And I know for my own story, I
36:17
had this, I'd always tell people, oh, I'll pray for you.
36:22
And one day, the Lord's, like, you forget, like it was a
36:26
conviction, like, I forget to pray for people, and he gently
36:31
told me just pray with them, right?
36:33
Then and right there, like just no matter where you're at.
36:37
At and I remember from was going through something at the gym and
36:42
that happened. I hurt, Holy Spirit, just
36:45
pressed it on me to just pray for her right there.
36:49
And then and so I just like said, I needed, just pray for
36:52
you right now. So we just prayed right then and
36:56
you know, people are working out around us polygon.
36:58
What in the world is going on? But I didn't care because you
37:04
get to that point where the Lord's obedience and his voice.
37:07
Outweighs anything else. So anyway just had to put that
37:13
out there not to be afraid to pray right then and there if the
37:18
holy spirit's really pressing it on you, I wanted to get to the
37:23
point of when you guys talk about, what does it mean for a
37:27
mom to be a blessing Giver? What is this?
37:31
I heard you Helen say that earlier.
37:34
Yes. Well, I think scripture talks.
37:37
It's throughout about you're either going to give a blessing
37:40
or a curse. That's lesson, is the better
37:44
answer, isn't it? I think so.
37:49
I love number 6. 24 to 26. Where you know it says may the
37:55
Lord. Yeah, probably.
37:57
I haven't memorized it yet. But yes, it's beautiful.
38:02
There's a song there to love this song.
38:06
It's just Before and I just think it is so important.
38:10
It's back to words. It's so important that we speak
38:14
words of blessing to the generations, to one another, but
38:18
to the generations, the lowest and it's just a choice that we
38:25
make to be our fire words to bless and not to hurt.
38:30
That's right. You do have a choice every day.
38:33
Don't we? I guess it's in the mended book.
38:36
We put The example, it's a word picture of two cups bumping and
38:42
each cup represents us and our hearts.
38:45
It's that Proverbs 4:23 about guard.
38:48
Your heart with all diligence for out of it flows, the issues
38:51
of life. And so, it's so true that what
38:54
comes out of your cup is yours. You own it, and it is either
38:59
blessing or cursing. And hopefully, we're training
39:03
ourselves to bless and not to curse.
39:06
So I think It's a choice. And then those that follow us,
39:11
we'll see the pattern. Hopefully, and it will bless
39:14
them, and they were duplicate that same blessing below them.
39:19
That would be my hope so good. Okay, tell me some ways, mothers
39:24
can share her gifts and traditions with her children.
39:28
You know, one of the ways that we have shared some gifts and
39:30
traditions is, you know, at different times of the year
39:34
repeating something that we've always done at that time of the
39:37
year. Year and asking each other, what
39:40
would be special for you to do this Christmas or this summer?
39:45
And letting the kids be a part of that decision because they're
39:49
going to own it a little bit more and they're going to
39:51
they're going to remember it. And so one of the ways that
39:54
we've tried to do this too is to create different opportunities
39:57
for using different recipes that we have.
40:00
And then my kids have written down those recipes and started
40:04
their own collection. So we've passed along Some of
40:08
those opportunities. But but I think that any time,
40:10
we talk about a capital where do we celebrate, where we passed
40:13
down these Traditions, it can be as normal as something that you
40:17
do weekly or something that you do around special holidays,
40:20
things that mean a lot to you. And and even while you're doing
40:23
them, the conversations that can come up of why is this so
40:26
special to us? Why do we celebrate this?
40:28
Why is this? You know?
40:29
Because it just cements into their minds.
40:32
Why family is so important and why these special treasures and
40:35
memories are so helpful. To them as they grow up.
40:38
And one day, we'll have a family of their own, but I would just
40:42
encourage anybody. If there's something that you've
40:43
been wanting to try as a family, but that you just haven't done
40:47
it yet. Maybe it's because we fear
40:48
failure. We feel like, I'm not going to
40:50
be good at that. I'm not going to be good at
40:51
painting or baking. Let's do it for the sake of our
40:55
children to see that. We're not afraid of trying new
40:57
things and creating New Traditions.
41:00
Maybe it's never been done before in your family and you're
41:01
going to start something that will be a tradition.
41:04
So maybe some of the things that you've seen, have it been Good
41:08
in your family and you want to start something new, I just
41:10
encourage you to do that so good.
41:12
Those are lasting memories, those traditions and even, you
41:17
know, my own upbringing but then when I see it in my kids, it's
41:22
like, oh my goodness. Don't ever change it or you'll
41:26
hear it, you know? Like no, we usually do this.
41:30
Like they won't even let you change the truth, you have to do
41:34
the tradition. So my family's big on tradition.
41:37
And change it up and change it around.
41:40
It doesn't fly with them. So that's really offensive
41:44
identities and they, it's this is who we are.
41:50
Yeah, so good. Okay, so I would love to end
41:54
this episode, your guys's story with take away and I thought
42:01
this would be a good one just to lead us into is You know what
42:08
encouragement do you may have for the mom?
42:13
The woman that had a difficult relationship with her mom and
42:19
how can moms and their adult children, see their relationship
42:24
in a new Fresh way? Well, I would say for
42:28
encouragement it's just that it's never too late to repair a
42:32
relationship. There's just there's always
42:35
opportunity if we're willing to initiate it and take it and I
42:39
know women that have said it's just so hard for me to even have
42:42
a conversation with my mom or with my daughter because of
42:45
these different situations of the cake, the way they've hurt
42:48
me in the past and we just want to encourage you to maybe even
42:51
say you know I want to come to you and I want to have a
42:54
conversation and I would like for both of us to stay in it and
42:58
it to have this conversation without leaving the conversation
43:01
today that we can agree that we would finish this conversation
43:05
and and then just start by sharing your Heart and the
43:08
things that you appreciate about your mom that things that you
43:11
see or your daughter, the things that you see in their life that
43:14
are positive qualities and then get to some of the harder things
43:18
that have happened between you currently don't have to go years
43:22
and years back and judge up everything.
43:24
But, but just to maybe give it an overarching.
43:26
Here's where we are in my, in my thought.
43:28
This is where we are and then how do we move past this?
43:31
How do we, how do we have a relationship that endures?
43:35
And I think that when, when that, Aster is there without a
43:38
heated argument and just agreeing to to come before each
43:42
other. I think it can really breed a
43:45
good relationship where you're able to start talking again.
43:49
I know that when we put up those walls as we were talking about,
43:51
well she shouldn't say that and I said this because of that it
43:54
has becomes back and forth and we aren't going to you're not
43:57
going to see the healing. If we're just always holding
43:59
onto the words that other people have said.
44:01
We need to be able to move past that and to be the one who's
44:04
maybe more mature, even if the person is older than You to show
44:09
the spiritual maturity of forgiving.
44:11
And letting that go not being a prisoner to the things that have
44:14
held us back. But releasing that to God and
44:17
releasing that person from you. That the way that you've carried
44:21
that person and the bitterness or the hurt that you've carried
44:26
releasing that and asking God for a freshness and your
44:28
relationship. And how do you walk forward?
44:31
Holy and healthy with that person in the future.
44:35
I think it's entirely possible. Yeah, so Good Helen.
44:38
How about you? Yeah, why spoke?
44:41
Well, she is a good representative of us and just
44:45
wanna additional thought. If if it's uncomfortable for you
44:50
to have this conversation in the flesh, he you could do email or
44:57
text or the old-fashioned letter.
45:01
There's so many other ways of I did I say telephone anyway.
45:06
We're in Many different ways and whatever your level of comfort
45:10
would be go for it. Don't shrink back, don't have a
45:14
regret. I just encourage your listeners
45:17
to take one small step and just humbly ask the mother or
45:23
daughter in your life that you might have a difficulty with,
45:28
you know, how do we begin again? Would you like to begin again?
45:32
What do you think we need to do to make things better?
45:36
So, Those are just ways that you can make a fresh start,
45:42
including the, I love you. One book is a fresh start.
45:46
It's a fresh wind of love. That can pour over the maybe a
45:53
tired relationship and it just never too late so good.
45:59
And I need to include get the Buckman dead because this is
46:05
such a great resource. On seeing lice perspective and
46:12
your perspective Helen and, you know, you being a counselor and
46:17
a psychology and and having that doctorate, it really shows just
46:23
some healthy ways that we can rebuild, and restore those
46:29
broken relationships to begin. Mending them.
46:34
So I highly recommend getting this book.
46:37
Recommended and the devotional. I love you, Mom.
46:41
Now, where can everybody connects with you both?
46:45
So, we both are on social media on Facebook and Instagram under
46:50
our name's Blythe, Daniel Helen Macintosh.
46:53
We also have a website and its are mended Hearts.com.
46:57
So it so you are mended hearts.com with three sources,
47:03
both of these resources and some blog posts and things on there.
47:06
Some conversation starters. Some images and things for you
47:09
to look at. So we would love for people to
47:11
join us there and yeah, we just appreciate the opportunity to
47:15
share about what God's put on our hearts and we desire to
47:17
connect with you. So, feel free to reach out to
47:19
us. We would have we would love to
47:20
hear from you. Yeah.
47:22
What a great first step as well, is hopping on that to connect
47:26
with you, both. Well, thank you so much for
47:30
coming on here and sharing your wisdom insight.
47:35
And all of the above, Above. These are just such amazing
47:39
resources that you guys wrote and just the encouragement and
47:44
the words of affirmation and really understanding the power
47:49
of our words and prayer and our relationship between a mother
47:54
and daughter and how God designed that so beautifully.
47:59
And so how can we really live that out wonderfully here on
48:05
Earth with the law? It's help there.
48:08
So thank you so much for coming on here.
48:12
Thank you so much for having us. You say, pleasure?
48:15
Jamie. Thank you.
48:18
Thank you so much for listening today and I trust that God has
48:21
encouraged you through the story.
48:23
And hey if you love this podcast and you listen to it on iTunes,
48:27
add it to your library by hitting follow.
48:30
And did you know that this podcast is on YouTube?
48:33
Hop on there and subscribe and you can see a live recording of
48:37
each episode and for more information on this ministry and
48:41
to access free downloads, like my ebook called God's ID, my ID,
48:46
go on my website at Elizabeth.com, that's ja why?
48:51
Amy Elizabeth.com. And let's connect Beyond this
48:55
podcast. By going to Instagram, my handle
48:58
is Jamie Elizabeth. She speaks life or I'm on
49:02
Facebook until next time. My friend.
49:04
I hope God reveals himself through your own life story.