Latest / Midlife Glow Up: Simplifying Fitness, Nutrition and Healthy Habits for Women over 40 / 14. Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work in Midlife - and What to Do Instead

Transcript

14. Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work in Midlife - and What to Do Instead · Midlife Glow Up: Simplifying Fitness, Nutrition and Healthy Habits for Women over 40

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: We all start a new year with good intentions.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then a few weeks later, usually those intentions start to fade.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Not because we don't care about them or because we lack discipline or motivation, but because we've been taught to set goals in a way that doesn't always support real life, especially not real midlife.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: So this episode today is airing at the very start of a new year, which makes it the perfect time to pause and ask a different question.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: What if instead of a long list of resolutions, you chose a simpler, more meaningful approach?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: One that focuses less on what you're trying to do and more on who you are becoming.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Midlife Blow Up Podcast, where we simplify fitness, nutrition, and healthy habits for women over 40.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Joan Dandoneau, your midlife health and wellness coach.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are ready to feel strong, consistent, and confident in this season of life, you are in the right place, my friend.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And today we are talking about a couple of intentional ways to ring in the new year that can be far more powerful than setting traditional resolutions, especially for women over 40.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to talk about how choosing a word for the year and creating a vision board are ways that could help you define who you're becoming and how you want your life to feel.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And to understand why these approaches are so powerful, we first need to look at why traditional New Year's resolutions often fall short.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Most New Year's resolutions are built around outcomes, things like lose weight and fit into my old genes.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: But the tricky part about goals like that is that we don't actually have direct control over them.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: We can influence the outcome, but we cannot control it.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: So when the focus is on the result instead of the process, it is very frustrating.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's very overwhelming.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Other resolutions swing in the opposite direction and they become really vague, like I want to be healthier, I want to eat healthier, I want to exercise more.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: But there's no clear action to take inside of those goals.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: There's no process to follow, there's no real definition of what succeeding or not succeeding looks like day to day.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: So resolutions tend to fall into one of those two camps.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Either they're overly rigid and outcome focused, or they're so vague that they don't ever turn into action.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: But intentions work differently.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Intentions are about direction and identity.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of saying I want to lose weight, an intention might be I want to feel strong.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of I need to exercise every day, it might be instead, I want to move my body with intention.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: And these subtle shifts can make a big difference because you're no longer chasing a number on a scale or following a strict rule, but rather you're aligning your actions with who you want to become.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: So the shift from doing to becoming is especially powerful in this season of life because the habits and the choices that we make today directly shape how strong, capable, and independent we feel in the years ahead.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: And at this stage of life, sustainability is so much more important than intensity.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: An identity matters way more than perfection.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: So when your goals and your lifestyle support the woman that you are becoming, not just the outcome that you're chasing, you are much more likely to achieve success and realize that future version of yourself that you are trying to create.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: So that is the idea behind choosing a word for the year.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: So this is something that I have done for the past four or five years, and I absolutely love it.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think of this word as a lens for me to look through all year long.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: It becomes kind of a compass for my life instead of a to-do list.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's a way for me to pause and ask myself: does this align with who I want to be?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Does this align with how I want to live?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: So our intentions guide our behavior, but the word that we choose helps to keep our actions in alignment with our values, even when life gets busy.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: So you might be wondering, like, well, how do I figure out what word is my word for the year?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that is not an easy feat, but I do have a couple of questions that might help guide you.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: So the two questions are what do I want more of this year and what do I want less of?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And usually the contrast between the two answers will reveal the area of life that you might want to focus in on.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: And from there, you can really drill down and figure out what your word is.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, my word for 2026 is margin.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So margin for me means creating space in my days on my calendar for slowness and stillness and more relaxed energy and less urgency.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: It means creating margin in my energy.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not operating at full capacity all the time.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: It means more presence, more unhurried time with the people that I love, more time outdoors, more time to think and reflect and create without pressure.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: For me, choosing margin also means I want less rushed energy.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: I want less overscheduling.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: I want less reacting and more responding, less of the belief that doing more equals being more, less proving, less people pleasing, less carrying everything on my own.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: For me this year, choosing margin also means surrendering the belief that I have to do it all, that I have to hustle harder, that I have to do more in order to earn more or be worthy of rest.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Margin for me is about trusting that there is enough.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's enough time, there's enough opportunity, there's enough support without having to force or push.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I share my word with you because I want to show you how powerful choosing this word can be.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I want your word for you to feel true, authentic to you and the season that you're in.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: So before you choose a word, I want you to take a moment and reflect on the year that you're closing out, not with judgment, but just with awareness and honesty.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And ask yourself, what felt supportive this past year?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: What felt heavy or draining?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Where did I feel most like myself?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And where did I feel disconnected or depleted?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then we're gonna think more future focused.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want more of in the year ahead?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want less of?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want my days to feel like?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want my body to be capable of?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want to protect or preserve as I move through this next year?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And often your word will reveal itself in these answers.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, for example, if you realize that you want more strength, not strength in the narrow sense, but strength across your whole life, like stronger bones, because bone health matters now more than ever, stronger muscles, so you can do everyday things like lifting groceries and traveling and hiking and lifting grandbabies.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: You want to feel like those things are easy and that you're confident in your body.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Strength in your mindset, feeling resilient instead of constantly overwhelmed or frazzled.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Strength in your nutrition, like fueling your body well, supporting your gut health, prioritizing nourishment over a restriction.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you ask yourself what you want less of, maybe the answer is less weakness, less feeling run down, less feeling breakable or hesitant or like you can't trust your body to support you, less second-guessing yourself, less starting over.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: And when you look at it like that, strength becomes less of a fitness-focused goal and more of just your identity.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: You are a strong woman.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the word that comes up for you is balance.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: More balance between pushing and resting.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Balance between caring for others and caring for yourself.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Balance between structure and flexibility.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you want less burnout, less extremes, and less feeling like you're always behind.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe your word is nourish.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't just mean in the nutrition sense, but more nourishment in your relationships, in your self-talk, as it relates to your sleep, nourishing sleep.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: So you're less depleted, you're less restrictive, you're less running on empty.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your word is consistency.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: You want more follow-through, more trust in yourself, more habits that quietly compound over time, less stopping and starting, less all or nothing thinking, less feeling frustrated with yourself.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: These words are a tool to give you direction, to give you a filter, but they help you answer the question: who am I becoming in this next season of life?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And the beginning of a year, a brand new year, is an awesome opportunity to get really quiet with ourselves and think, who do I want to be when I grow up?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And how can I start creating her today?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Every step at a time, bite at a time, thought at a time, habit at a time.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And once you have that word, everything else can organize around it.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Your movement, your nourishment, your habits, your boundaries.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: That is the power of choosing a word that is rooted in reflection, not pressure.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: It gives you clarity instead of another expectation or another thing on your to-do list.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And once you have that clarity, the next step that I would recommend is making it visible, which is why I love pairing the word of the year with a vision board.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: So a vision board, whether it's physical or digital, is not about manifesting a perfect life or creating a highlight real, but it is about keeping your intentions visible.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: When life gets busy, and it will, what you see regularly has a powerful influence on how we think, how we feel, and ultimately on how we behave.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: So if your word becomes front and center on your vision board, and your vision board is somewhere that you're going to see it day in and day out, whether it's a poster board on the wall above your desk, or if it's on the wall in your closet, you see it every day while you're getting dressed, or if it's the screensaver on your laptop or on your phone, that becomes something that is just baked into your day that you're seeing over and over again.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: It becomes like an anchor.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And from there, I want you to think about building this vision board to include your word of the year.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to think about this as creating, like manifesting how you want to feel in this year, not just what you want to achieve.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Think of it in terms of energy and experience.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you might add images that represent feeling strong in your body, or calm in your nervous system, or energized instead of depleted, grounded instead of scattered, present instead of rushed, free instead of constantly on.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Think about what life do you actually want to live inside of?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Not just something that looks good on paper.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: But think about how do you want that life to feel?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then can you find visual representations of that to include on your vision board?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Can you think of other words that would help you really clue in to this intention that you have for the new year?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And when you see your vision regularly, and then you make repeated choices that are in alignment with your values and who you want to become, you're quietly shaping your new identity.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're wondering, how do you actually create a vision board?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: I want to keep this really simple.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: It does not have to be complicated, but it can be very powerful.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: So there's two different ways that I have approached this in the past.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: One is to start with my word.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: So once you've chosen your word for the year, place it front and center on either a piece of paper or I use Canva to create my digital vision boards.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that would become my my front and center word.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would ask myself, what does this word look like in real life?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: How do I want it to feel in my body, my energy, my daily routine?
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: And from there, I would add images and symbols and words, photos that reinforce that feeling.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: The second option is to start with images.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you don't know your word yet.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it has taken me well into the new year to figure out my word, and that is okay.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: But what I recommend doing is pay attention to what you're drawn to as you're searching for images, as you're flipping through magazines or you're scrolling Pinterest and you know, whatever images are starting to catch your eye.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Are you drawn to certain colors or certain moods?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And when you begin to create your vision board and everything is laid out, you can step back and say, what is the common thread here?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: What am I craving more of?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: And often your word will reveal itself in that way.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: The most important thing to remember is it's not about making something pretty or perfect, but it is creating a visual reminder of what matters to you.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Your vision board board should feel supportive and grounding and in alignment with your values, not just another project on your to-do list.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to see an example, head over to my Instagram.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be sharing my own vision board that I created for 2026.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: So you can see my word margin and how I'm bringing my word visually into my life.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: It is now my screensaver.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I will see it every single day.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: And if you choose a word for yourself, I would love to hear it.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Send me a message on Instagram and share your word with me.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: And if you end up creating a vision board of your own, either physical or digital, I would love to see that too.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's something really powerful about sharing your intentions out loud and letting somebody else witness them.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: So here is what I want you to hear from today.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: A word and a vision board are going to give you direction.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: They're going to help you define who you're becoming and how you want your life to feel.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: But intentions alone are not enough because once January turns into February and routines pick up and you get busy and your motivation fades, what matters is whether you have the systems and the strategies to support your intentions in real life.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where habits come in.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: I created a 21-day habit challenge specifically for women 40 plus who are ready to take back control of their health in 2026.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I would absolutely love to invite you to take a look.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you could benefit from building better energy, stronger routines, simple habits that you can finally stick to, this challenge is for you.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's$21 for 21 days, and you don't have to do it alone.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: You'll have a clear step-by-step plan and a community of other women in a similar season of life, as well as a coach in your corner.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's me who truly cares.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Inside this challenge, we focus on building one habit at a time, defining exactly how it fits into your real busy, messy, imperfect life.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And once we get going on that one habit, we intentionally, strategically layer on another habit.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: And by the end, you will have three habits that are sustainable, they're simple, they're repeatable, and they become part of who you are.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: You do not need more resolutions.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: You do not need more motivation, you don't need more dedication, but you do need clarity and support and habits that work with your life, not against it.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd love to invite you to join us inside of your midlife reset so that you can have 2026 be the year it finally sticks.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: All the details are linked in the show notes below.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Our challenge begins on January 12th, so don't delay.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sign up today.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for listening, my friend.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Remember progress over perfection and consistency over intensity.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, keep growing, keep glowing, and bye for now.