Latest / Suze Orman's Women & Money (And Everyone Smart Enough To Listen) / Am I a Bad Person, For Not Wanting To Help My Mother-in-Law?

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Am I a Bad Person, For Not Wanting To Help My Mother-in-Law? · Suze Orman's Women & Money (And Everyone Smart Enough To Listen)

• 0:08
  Suze: August 23, 2026. Welcome everybody to the Women and Money
• 0:13
  Suze: podcast and everybody smart enough to listen.
• 0:18
  Suze: KT, what you doing over there?
• 0:20
  KT: Are you ready? I'm ready.
• 0:22
  Suze: What are you ready for honey?
• 0:23
  KT: First, I'm gonna tell everyone it was a great week
• 0:26
  KT: we just had, a fabulous week.
• 0:29
  Suze: Tell everybody why.
• 0:30
  KT: Well, a number of reasons. Number one, for KT, I
• 0:33
  KT: went fishing, everyone.
• 0:35
  KT: I went fishing and I had a great time catching
• 0:38
  KT: some yellowtail snapper with my friend Andy and we had
• 0:42
  KT: a fabulous snapper dinner and I made some snapper sashimi
• 0:47
  KT: for Suze. It was a snap snap, snap...
• 0:51
  Suze: I have to tell you something.
• 0:53
  Suze: So they left at about 5:30, 6 o'clock in the morning, right?
• 0:58
  Suze: Andy for years has also been one of our drivers,
• 1:02
  Suze: but what Andy loves more than life itself is fishing.
• 1:07
  Suze: In fact, on his back, everybody, he has this big
• 1:11
  Suze: tattoo of a hook. It's, I mean, this boy is
• 1:14
  Suze: one of the best fishermen I've ever seen in my life.
• 1:19
  Suze: All right.
• 1:20
  Suze: So, Andy is now going to be the person who
• 1:24
  Suze: makes sure our boat is good and everything and takes
• 1:26
  Suze: KT out fishing because that, I'm not going to do that.
• 1:31
  Suze: KT needs somebody who knows where to take her. I
• 1:34
  Suze: don't know anything about the Florida waters. All right, but KT,
• 1:38
  Suze: I have to tell you something. So while you were
• 1:40
  Suze: out there with him, I'm texting him.
• 1:44
  Suze: Right? I'm saying, how's she doing?
• 1:46
  Suze: How's it going?
• 1:47
  KT: He said I was dialed in.
• 1:49
  Suze: Wait, wait, wait, right? It's, it's...
• 1:51
  KT: What did he tell you?
• 1:52
  Suze: Wait, it's like 110 degrees out there. Everybody is dying.
• 1:57
  Suze: One hour, two hours. They're out there like four hours
• 2:00
  Suze: and whatever.
• 2:01
  KT: What did he tell you?
• 2:01
  Suze: And he said she is one tough cookie, Suze. She
• 2:08
  Suze: has outlasted everybody, and I'm laughing to myself going like
• 2:13
  Suze: I didn't know that, of course I did so.
• 2:16
  Suze: Not bad for a 74 year old woman. What do
• 2:19
  Suze: you think?
• 2:19
  KT: I was catching.
• 2:21
  Suze: She was catching.
• 2:22
  KT: We were catching.
• 2:22
  Suze: We were catching. But a few more things before we
• 2:25
  Suze: begin this podcast. Number one: October 3rd and 4th, I
• 2:31
  Suze: am so excited because, as you may know, in the
• 2:34
  Suze: LA area there is going to be an incredible event
• 2:39
  Suze: all about empowerment.
• 2:41
  Suze: And I am speaking at it on October 4th, but
• 2:46
  Suze: all VIP tickets have already been sold out, but there
• 2:50
  Suze: are plenty of other tickets. I'm telling you, you should
• 2:53
  Suze: all go to Suze Orman.com/empower and check it out because
• 2:59
  Suze: if you're in the area, you should come.
• 3:03
  Suze: Especially if you can afford it. Just gonna say that,
• 3:06
  Suze: not that expensive now. It'll be $100 for two full days,
• 3:13
  Suze: which I think is pretty good.
• 3:16
  Suze: However, a little secret and I'm just gonna tell all
• 3:19
  Suze: of you that are listening after my talk is over
• 3:24
  Suze: we're doing a meet and greet for everybody. So hopefully
• 3:29
  Suze: if you're there I will absolutely get to meet you.
• 3:33
  KT: Wait, we have some other news...
• 3:35
  Suze: What KT?
• 3:36
  KT: In December.
• 3:37
  Suze: I love this.
• 3:38
  KT: Suze's dream is coming true, everyone. She's been wanting to
• 3:41
  KT: host a holiday party like no other, and she finally
• 3:46
  KT: did it. Storm Large, the lead singer from Pink Martini,
• 3:50
  KT: will be at Glazer Hall in West Palm Beach December
• 3:55
  KT: 19th for a party of all parties.
• 3:59
  KT: A Holiday party and Suze is making this one special event.
• 4:05
  KT: So go get tickets. Look it up. Check it out.
• 4:08
  KT: Storm is the best.
• 4:10
  Suze: She's over the top.
• 4:11
  KT: She's crazy, crazy, crazy.
• 4:12
  Suze: Well, not just crazy, very seriously, one of the most talented, vivacious, energetic.
• 4:20
  Suze: Singers I've ever heard in my entire life,
• 4:23
  KT: We love her music.
• 4:23
  Suze: Love her, love her. So to check out tickets, go
• 4:27
  Suze: to glazer G L A Z E R Hall.org and
• 4:33
  Suze: look at December 19th. Only 400 seats in the whole place.
• 4:37
  KT: Yeah, we'll see you there.
• 4:39
  KT: And trust me, it's gonna be a fun party.
• 4:42
  KT: It's gonna be fun.
• 4:43
  Suze: Gonna be a party. All right, KT. Are you ready
• 4:48
  Suze: to do the podcast.
• 4:48
  KT: I'm ready, Suze.
• 4:50
  Suze: All right, darling.
• 4:50
  KT: We've got a couple of great questions to begin with,
• 4:53
  KT: but on the Women and Money Community app, someone wrote
• 4:57
  KT: in and they were asking about last Sunday's podcast. You
• 5:01
  KT: gave great information and updates which gave us all a
• 5:06
  KT: great deal of hope and promise. The markets were doing
• 5:09
  KT: extremely well.
• 5:09
  KT: Well, and now there's a little bit of bumps in
• 5:13
  KT: the road and one of the questions was, Suze, you
• 5:16
  KT: kept saying, everyone tighten your seat belts and be ready
• 5:20
  KT: for September. We could have an unexpected change. So the
• 5:26
  KT: question is, do you think that's still gonna happen?
• 5:28
  Suze: Like, listen to me now, everybody, and listen very, very closely.
• 5:33
  Suze: I have no idea what's going to happen or not
• 5:36
  Suze: going to happen.
• 5:38
  Suze: However, things are still rocky everywhere. So when I say
• 5:43
  Suze: I feel really upbeat about the market and I give
• 5:48
  Suze: names of stocks or whatever it may be, it doesn't
• 5:51
  Suze: mean that those stocks go straight up from last Sunday
• 5:56
  Suze: or the stock market goes straight up from last Sunday.
• 6:01
  Suze: The market is always going to go up and then down,
• 6:05
  Suze: up and then down. So do I think that it
• 6:09
  Suze: is possible, like the end of August into September that
• 6:13
  Suze: we could hit a rough patch? I do. I think
• 6:16
  Suze: it's absolutely probable, so just know that, but the good
• 6:22
  Suze: news is you kind of want that to happen as
• 6:25
  Suze: these markets come down or the stocks that I am
• 6:29
  Suze: mentioning happen to come down.
• 6:32
  Suze: That's the time that you dollar cost average into them
• 6:36
  Suze: if you want to keep them, if you want to
• 6:38
  Suze: purchase them, or you've decided not to sell, and if
• 6:41
  Suze: you've decided not to sell, and they're down and you
• 6:45
  Suze: have extra money, you might want to buy more. So
• 6:48
  Suze: this market is never going to go straight up, but
• 6:52
  Suze: overall for this year, I am incredibly optimistic.
• 6:58
  Suze: And with a few bumps in the road, but I'm
• 7:02
  Suze: couldn't be happier about what I hope is gonna happen
• 7:05
  Suze: for the rest of this year and maybe next. All right, KT,
• 7:09
  Suze: next question.
• 7:10
  KT: From Rachel. She said, Hi, Suze and KT. I'm not
• 7:14
  KT: happy about this news.
• 7:16
  Suze: What news?
• 7:17
  KT: Ready?
• 7:18
  KT: Rachel said, I'm probably getting laid off at the end
• 7:21
  KT: of this month. I'm trying not to stress, but it
• 7:25
  KT: is stressful. I'll lose my paycheck, my benefits, and unvested RSUs.
• 7:31
  Suze: Do you know what RSUs are, KT?
• 7:33
  KT: Yeah, restricted stock units.
• 7:35
  Suze: Why do you know that?
• 7:36
  KT: Because I had them.
• 7:40
  KT: I had a lot of them.
• 7:42
  Suze: OK...
• 7:42
  KT: I have my emergency savings accounts. Thankfully. I wanna ask
• 7:47
  KT: about my 401k. It is with Fidelity. I've heard that
• 7:51
  KT: they will start charging me fees once I get laid off.
• 7:55
  Suze: How generous of them.
• 7:56
  KT: Is that true?
• 7:57
  Suze: I guess so.
• 7:58
  KT: So Suze, where's the best place to move my 401k
• 8:02
  KT: and how do I do it without creating any ill
• 8:05
  KT: effects or unnecessary fees or tax ramifications?
• 8:10
  KT: I did not think I'd be back in the job
• 8:13
  KT: market at age 55. Sigh. she wrote, sigh.
• 8:17
  Suze: Sigh.
• 8:18
  KT: You can do this, Rachel. I have faith in you.
• 8:21
  Suze: So a few things, Rachel, you need to be aware
• 8:23
  Suze: of before you do anything, which is this.
• 8:27
  Suze: When you leave service in the year, it doesn't matter
• 8:31
  Suze: if you're fired, you quit, whatever, when you leave service
• 8:35
  Suze: in the year you turn 55, they could have fired
• 8:40
  Suze: you in January. If you turned 55 December 31st of
• 8:46
  Suze: this year, it still counts.
• 8:50
  Suze: You get to do something known as the 55 rule,
• 8:54
  Suze: and what is that? Any money that is in a 401k,
• 8:59
  Suze: an employer sponsored plan of any kind.
• 9:02
  Suze: If you are 55 or older in the year you
• 9:05
  Suze: have left service, you can take any money that's in
• 9:10
  Suze: that 401k out without the 10% penalty. Obviously, you'll still
• 9:17
  Suze: have to pay ordinary income tax on it because you
• 9:20
  Suze: didn't do the Roth 401k like I told you to do,
• 9:23
  Suze: but that is besides the point.
• 9:25
  Suze: That's just a whole another story. However, you won't have
• 9:29
  Suze: to pay the 10% penalty. So if I were you,
• 9:34
  Suze: this is what I would do, because we don't know
• 9:37
  Suze: how long it's gonna take you to find another job.
• 9:40
  Suze: We don't know how long your emergency savings account is
• 9:43
  Suze: really going to last. So listen closely. Decide on an
• 9:48
  Suze: amount of money that you want to leave in your
• 9:52
  Suze: 401k that you know you can get at and only
• 9:57
  Suze: pay income tax on it.
• 9:59
  Suze: The rest, whatever that amount is, the rest you should
• 10:03
  Suze: do an IRA rollover with it and you can do
• 10:07
  Suze: that at Fidelity and therefore you have protected it against
• 10:12
  Suze: taxes even though you've moved it, you're not gonna have
• 10:15
  Suze: to pay any charges on it because you're no longer
• 10:18
  Suze: an employee of that. You're only going to pay fees
• 10:21
  Suze: on the amount you left in the 401k, that that
• 10:25
  Suze: amount might be worth it for you to know you
• 10:28
  Suze: can access that money.
• 10:30
  Suze: And that's what you should do as soon as you
• 10:34
  Suze: get another job.
• 10:37
  Suze: If you want, you can then transfer what's left in
• 10:41
  Suze: that 401k to your new employer's 401k and if you want,
• 10:48
  Suze: take the money that you did the IRA rollover with
• 10:52
  Suze: and transfer that back into your new employer's 401k plan.
• 10:58
  Suze: Make sure, however, these are all custodian to custodian transfer.
• 11:04
  Suze: Which means they do not send you a check and
• 11:07
  Suze: then you give it to somebody. They send it directly
• 11:10
  Suze: from your 401k to your IRA and then if you're
• 11:15
  Suze: going to change back from your IRA rollover back to
• 11:18
  Suze: your 401k. And by the way,
• 11:22
  Suze: When you get a new employer, can you just do
• 11:25
  Suze: a Roth 401k? Can you just do me a favor...
• 11:28
  KT: Or you'll get a slap down.
• 11:30
  Suze: No, but here's the thing, if people just would just
• 11:34
  Suze: do that, what's wrong with them? What's wrong with them?
• 11:38
  Suze: Don't you understand when things like this happen, you don't
• 11:42
  Suze: have to worry about the 10% penalty. You don't have
• 11:45
  Suze: to worry about taxes. You don't really have to worry
• 11:47
  Suze: about anything. Don't be stupid people. All right, next, KT.
• 11:53
  KT: Next question is from Julie. She said, hi, KT and Suze.
• 11:57
  KT: I know you get a bazillion questions, she said bazillion,
• 12:02
  KT: so I will make mine short.
• 12:03
  Suze: By the way, before you go on, if you have
• 12:07
  Suze: a question, I realized because we haven't said this in many,
• 12:10
  Suze: many podcasts, right, if you have a question, you should
• 12:15
  Suze: just write into podcast at ask Suze.com. That's where you
• 12:22
  Suze: write in to ask your question, and if KT chooses it.
• 12:27
  Suze: And if I see it and feel like it, you
• 12:29
  Suze: never know when I will seriously answer it, as many
• 12:33
  Suze: of you know, that's how you do it. All right, sorry, KT,
• 12:37
  Suze: go on.
• 12:37
  KT: What's the word after bazillion rezillion questions? She said, I
• 12:43
  KT: know you get a bazillion questions.
• 12:45
  Suze: I, I tell the bazillion is enough. We don't need
• 12:48
  Suze: more than a bazillion.
• 12:49
  KT: All right, so Julie said, my husband and I happily
• 12:53
  KT: married for 35 years and counting.
• 12:56
  KT: Have our must-have documents completed and in place. We have
• 13:01
  KT: no children and our siblings are significantly older than us,
• 13:05
  KT: she said. Suze, I've recently heard about a new service
• 13:08
  KT: offered by Child Free Trust which creates and manages important
• 13:14
  KT: decisions like health care directives, trust, and end of life care.
• 13:19
  KT: I suppose they are independent fiduciaries. They charge $999 a year.
• 13:27
  Suze: Per year. Per year. Per year.
• 13:31
  KT: This is why she's writing. Julie said it seems like
• 13:33
  KT: a good option for people like us who don't plan
• 13:36
  KT: on leaving anything to relatives and don't really want to
• 13:39
  KT: have friends or relatives make decisions for us.
• 13:44
  KT: So they wanna know your thoughts on this service and
• 13:47
  KT: if they should take advantage of it. I could tell
• 13:49
  KT: you don't like it.
• 13:50
  Suze: Well, I'll tell you why. It's when something really happens.
• 13:55
  Suze: Do you really want a stranger that knows nothing about
• 13:58
  Suze: you making that decision? And it's, by the way, KT,
• 14:02
  Suze: it's not $999 per year.
• 14:05
  Suze: It's $999 per year per person.
• 14:09
  KT: $2,000 a year?
• 14:11
  Suze: $1,998 per year to be exact. So that's the cost
• 14:18
  Suze: of it.
• 14:18
  KT: That doesn't make sense.
• 14:20
  Suze: Secondly, you gotta hear this though, everybody, if you need
• 14:24
  Suze: them to act, I have to tell you there are
• 14:26
  Suze: additional fees. The medical or the financial power of attorney
• 14:30
  Suze: services are currently $275 an hour, KT, an hour. And
• 14:40
  Suze: if they become trustees, if all of a sudden they
• 14:43
  Suze: need to become trustees over a trust that maybe these
• 14:46
  Suze: people have done.
• 14:47
  Suze: There is currently a minimum of $3,300 annually for a retainer,
• 14:53
  Suze: all right, and additional hours at $275 plus an administrative,
• 14:58
  Suze: and it goes on and on and on.
• 15:01
  KT: That $999 a year is plus plus plus plus plus.
• 15:06
  Suze: But this is the part that would stop me from
• 15:09
  Suze: doing this now. How do I know all these numbers?
• 15:12
  Suze: Are you wondering?
• 15:14
  KT: Because you know everything.
• 15:16
  Suze: No, besides that, because I read this email and I
• 15:21
  Suze: researched it.
• 15:22
  Suze: And I sent Julie everything that I found out about it,
• 15:26
  Suze: but for everybody, the part that really would stop me
• 15:30
  Suze: from signing up is that if you already have your
• 15:34
  Suze: must-have documents, right? This childfree trust says you cannot simply
• 15:39
  Suze: give them your existing trust. They have to do the
• 15:43
  Suze: documents all over for you, and that's how they make
• 15:46
  Suze: money and on and on. Julie, listen to me.
• 15:50
  Suze: I don't know how much money you have. I don't
• 15:53
  Suze: know how complicated your estate really is.
• 15:57
  Suze: I don't think it's worth wasting this kind of money
• 16:03
  Suze: simply because you don't want to bother a friend. Hey,
• 16:08
  Suze: tell your friend that you love that might make the
• 16:11
  Suze: right decisions for you. If you have to do this,
• 16:14
  Suze: we're gonna pay you in our will, in our estate plan,
• 16:17
  Suze: whatever it is. We're going to pay you 2% to
• 16:21
  Suze: handle everything for us.
• 16:23
  Suze: And because maybe they'll need the money, maybe you'll, who
• 16:27
  Suze: knows what can happen in your life. You, as you
• 16:30
  Suze: get older, all of a sudden you need more money
• 16:34
  Suze: because why? One of you gets sick, and I didn't
• 16:37
  Suze: hear you say that you have long-term care insurance. You're
• 16:40
  Suze: not thinking about how do you take care of each
• 16:42
  Suze: other if you're sick or something happens to you with
• 16:46
  Suze: a long-term care policy or things like that. So bottom line,
• 16:52
  Suze: I would not do it.
• 16:54
  Suze: I just don't think it makes sense. If you want to, OK,
• 16:59
  Suze: but those bills are going to run a lot higher
• 17:02
  Suze: than you have any idea. But read everything that I
• 17:06
  Suze: sent you, Julie, and I doubt highly you're going to
• 17:09
  Suze: go ahead and do it. By the way, there are
• 17:13
  Suze: lawyers and people that do this for a living, not a company,
• 17:19
  Suze: but somebody that you form a relationship with, a professional
• 17:23
  Suze: trustee that will be there for you. You know them,
• 17:28
  Suze: they'll carry it out. Uh, don't do this. All right,
• 17:31
  Suze: go on, KT.
• 17:34
  KT: Ok, this is from Suzanne. She said, Love you too
• 17:37
  KT: and thank you for all you do. Question, I inherited
• 17:41
  KT: my mom's traditional IRA in 2016, which is held at Vanguard.
• 17:48
  KT: I wanted to save it for my four grandsons. However,
• 17:52
  KT: I heard that I need to withdraw and close the
• 17:55
  KT: entire IRA at 10 years now or next year.
• 18:00
  KT: So true? And what do I do?
• 18:02
  Suze: False. Flase.
• 18:02
  KT: OK, well she's asking you. My grandson's age range from
• 18:07
  KT: 6 to 18. I'm a single Grammy and need help.
• 18:11
  Suze: All right, Grammy, I'm gonna give you the help right now.
• 18:15
  Suze: The Secure Act stated for anybody dying after 2019, so
• 18:21
  Suze: it went into effect for anybody dying in 2020 or later.
• 18:27
  Suze: Your mom died in 2016, which is before 2020, so
• 18:34
  Suze: everything that you've heard about that you have to clean
• 18:36
  Suze: it in 10 years and do everything like that doesn't apply to you.
• 18:41
  Suze: You get to take it out over your entire lifespan.
• 18:46
  Suze: You get to stretch those required minimum distributions, so you
• 18:52
  Suze: don't have to worry about it, Grammy. However, I do
• 18:55
  Suze: want to say, can we not worry about your grandkids?
• 19:00
  Suze: Can we just kind of save that money and make
• 19:03
  Suze: sure that you're taking care of and that that money just stays in an
• 19:08
  Suze: account for you and maybe you invest it for yourself
• 19:12
  Suze: as you've taken it out knowing that maybe it's gonna
• 19:15
  Suze: grow and make more money and then upon your death
• 19:19
  Suze: they get a step up in basis and get everything
• 19:22
  Suze: tax free so don't worry about it, it does not
• 19:25
  Suze: apply to you and everybody out there just know...
• 19:29
  Suze: the new Secure Act where you have to wipe it clean,
• 19:34
  Suze: a retirement account that you've inherited, in most cases, not everybody,
• 19:38
  Suze: but most cases, the person has got to have died in
• 19:42
  Suze: 2020 or later. Go on, KT.
• 19:45
  KT: This next one, I wanna know the answer to, Suze.
• 19:48
  KT: This is from... I, I need to know this. I
• 19:52
  KT: had no clue about this. She says, Hi, Suze and KT.
• 19:56
  KT: Love your podcast. We always learn from you. We're hearing
• 20:00
  KT: and reading more and more pertaining to retirees can move $210,000
• 20:07
  KT: from an IRA into a QLAC and delay RMDs on
• 20:13
  KT: that money until the age of 85. Almost nobody has
• 20:17
  KT: heard of it. We've never heard of it until recently.
• 20:20
  KT: What does it mean? QLAC
• 20:22
  Suze: Qualified Longevity Annuity Contract, right? So what's the question?
• 20:30
  KT: So she wants to know, have you heard about this?
• 20:33
  KT: Should they consider it in general and what really are
• 20:36
  KT: the benefits of delaying RMDs till you're 85?
• 20:41
  Suze: So Lou, I think this is a little bit more
• 20:44
  Suze: complicated than a little answer here on the Ask KT
• 20:49
  Suze: and Suze anything. So for you, I'll write up a
• 20:53
  Suze: whole thing about it and send it to you just
• 20:55
  Suze: so you know because you're obviously interested.
• 20:59
  Suze: But I will do a podcast on this because some
• 21:04
  Suze: people will like it, some people won't. People use it,
• 21:07
  Suze: but very shortly I'll do a Suze school on a QLAC.
• 21:13
  Suze: All right, next question, KT.
• 21:15
  KT: Our next question is from Scott, and I, I like
• 21:18
  KT: this one. I feel for Scott. He says, good morning, ladies.
• 21:22
  KT: Glad to hear all of your travels went well.
• 21:25
  KT: Scott's been listening. Italy. Oh my goodness. A few weeks ago.
• 21:31
  Suze: We have a big trip coming up. Did you tell them?
• 21:32
  KT: Not yet, but we will, but not yet. A few
• 21:35
  KT: weeks ago, my wife requested that I troubleshoot my mother-in-law's vehicle.
• 21:41
  KT: Upon investigation, I found it requires a complete overhaul. Last night,
• 21:47
  KT: after talking to her mother, my wife said, we need to
• 21:51
  KT: help my mother, and my immediate response was we lost
• 21:54
  KT: $100,000 in real dollars from when we took over her
• 22:00
  KT: mortgage 17 years ago.
• 22:03
  Suze: Funny he used the word lost.
• 22:05
  KT: Yeah, well, for him it was a, a loss of
• 22:08
  KT: his money, my...
• 22:10
  Suze: Their money.
• 22:11
  KT: OK.
• 22:12
  Suze: Their money. All right, go on.
• 22:16
  KT: My mother-in-law is now 75. Due to poor life decisions
• 22:21
  KT: and minimal Social Security, she lives in subsidized housing. While
• 22:26
  KT: it's sad that her independence is being threatened, there are
• 22:30
  KT: programs available for her to receive help with rides to
• 22:35
  KT: and from her needs without paying for fuel, insurance, or
• 22:40
  KT: car maintenance. She would have more money to live on.
• 22:43
  KT: And I feel that this would be a better solution.
• 22:47
  KT: I'm looking to accelerate my own plan to retire soon
• 22:51
  KT: and ensure I'm not a burden to my children. Bailing
• 22:55
  KT: out her mother again is something I am not inclined
• 23:00
  KT: to do. Am I a bad person, Suze, for feeling
• 23:03
  KT: this way?
• 23:05
  Suze: Here's the thing, which is, no, you're not a bad
• 23:10
  Suze: person on any level. Because what you're feeling is real and
• 23:16
  Suze: it's true for you maybe you're not that close with
• 23:20
  Suze: your mother-in-law. Maybe you don't have the feelings that your
• 23:24
  Suze: wife has towards her mother.
• 23:27
  Suze: But what's really important for you is that you understand
• 23:32
  Suze: that the woman you chose to marry,
• 23:36
  Suze: loves her mother obviously very, very much because she said
• 23:42
  Suze: to you, Scott, we need, she didn't say I want to.
• 23:47
  Suze: She said we need to help her.
• 23:51
  Suze: Now there's all different ways that you can try to
• 23:54
  Suze: help her. All the things that you mentioned in this email,
• 23:59
  Suze: all those resources, and those are things that I want
• 24:02
  Suze: you to do. But more than what happens with your mother-in-law,
• 24:07
  Suze: I don't want this to come between you and your wife.
• 24:11
  Suze: And therefore you need to sit down with your wife,
• 24:16
  Suze: your life partner, because if you retire, it's gonna affect her.
• 24:21
  Suze: I don't know if she's working, she's not working, and
• 24:24
  Suze: you have to have a plan, because here's the other thing,
• 24:28
  Suze: Mommy-in-law is only 75.
• 24:32
  Suze: What's going to happen when she's 85, 95, and maybe
• 24:37
  Suze: she needs care. Maybe are you gonna have to bring
• 24:40
  Suze: her into your home? These are things that you have
• 24:44
  Suze: to plan now, but with your wife, but from a
• 24:48
  Suze: loving place not from a money place first. What is my motto?
• 24:54
  Suze: People first, then money, then things. So I think it's
• 24:59
  Suze: really important that you bring heart to this conversation with
• 25:04
  Suze: your wife and decide how much can you help her.
• 25:09
  Suze: Should you help her this way? Is it better for
• 25:11
  Suze: her at 75? Maybe she gets rid of the car altogether.
• 25:17
  Suze: That gives her a little extra money. She Uber. She
• 25:20
  Suze: does things like that. I don't know, but it deserves
• 25:25
  Suze: a heartfelt conversation with the woman who you married and
• 25:33
  Suze: decide together what you should do. But are you a
• 25:36
  Suze: bad person?
• 25:37
  Suze: No, you're not, but I just want to say something else.
• 25:42
  Suze: Don't look at it like you lost $100,000. You didn't
• 25:47
  Suze: lose anything. You gained a lot of goodwill, in the eyes
• 25:53
  Suze: of God, if you ask me, and that's what really matters.
• 25:58
  Suze: Next question, KT.
• 25:59
  KT: Amen to that, Suze. You're something.
• 26:04
  Suze: Why?
• 26:05
  KT: You just are. OK, ready?
• 26:07
  Suze: You wanted to cry there.
• 26:09
  KT: Well, it moves me what you said and what he
• 26:12
  KT: felt and how it all, what, what the real purpose
• 26:16
  KT: of life is.
• 26:17
  Suze: Can I go off track here for a second? What
• 26:19
  Suze: else is new? So many of you may not know
• 26:23
  Suze: this about me, but I'm an incredible student of Indian scriptures.
• 26:29
  Suze: And whether it's Sanskrit or Hindu or the, you know,
• 26:33
  Suze: whatever happens in India in the start of really everything,
• 26:38
  Suze: because a lot of stuff that goes on in this
• 26:40
  Suze: world really stems from a lot of the scriptures stems
• 26:44
  Suze: from Indian scriptures, OK. And one of the Dharmas in life.
• 26:54
  Suze: And a Dharma is your duty that you need to
• 26:57
  Suze: do is to take care of your elders.
• 27:01
  Suze: And I've talked about this before on podcasts years ago, actually,
• 27:07
  Suze: where you have to do that. Now, obviously, if your
• 27:11
  Suze: elder is irresponsible with money, alcoholic, gambler, that fine, that's
• 27:16
  Suze: a whole different thing. But if it's a loving person.
• 27:21
  Suze: If it's a good person and they've just made bad
• 27:24
  Suze: decisions with money, just bad decision doesn't make them a
• 27:28
  Suze: bad person, they've just made bad decisions.
• 27:32
  Suze: And they are your mother, a relative, an elder. It
• 27:37
  Suze: is one of your dharmas to have to take care
• 27:41
  Suze: of them. So just wanted to say that. There you go.
• 27:46
  KT: And you know what, Suze, I'm thinking at our age
• 27:50
  KT: we have many friends right now serving that Dharma as
• 27:53
  KT: we speak.
• 27:56
  Suze: You know, I have a friend. I'm gonna tell you
• 27:58
  Suze: another story. I have a friend by the name of
• 28:00
  Suze: Kathy Buckley.
• 28:01
  Suze: And and you should look her up. One of the
• 28:05
  Suze: most amazing women I've ever met in my life. She
• 28:10
  Suze: was lying on a beach one day years ago, and
• 28:13
  Suze: this beach tractor rolled over her. She ended up in
• 28:17
  Suze: a nursing home. It was her story is so, uh, seriously,
• 28:22
  Suze: look her up.
• 28:24
  Suze: And she's now going to be 73, and she wrote
• 28:27
  Suze: me and she said, Suze, can you talk to me
• 28:30
  Suze: about my money?
• 28:32
  Suze: So the other day I called her and we had
• 28:34
  Suze: this great FaceTime. We both cried, everything. I mean, the
• 28:39
  Suze: woman is just magnificent.
• 28:41
  KT: They call each other sisters and she calls Suze her sister.
• 28:45
  Suze: So I said, tell me a little bit about what
• 28:48
  Suze: you've been doing for the past few years. And she said,
• 28:52
  Suze: I've been taking care of my mother and father.
• 28:55
  Suze: All of the money, Suze, I've been making, I've been
• 28:59
  Suze: going back to Ohio and taking care of my mom
• 29:03
  Suze: and my dad, and that's what I've been doing. And
• 29:08
  Suze: I said, OK, so she said, so I don't have
• 29:11
  Suze: as much as you're probably going to want me to have,
• 29:14
  Suze: but I did what I wanted to do, and Susie,
• 29:17
  Suze: I'm so happy I got to do it, and now
• 29:19
  Suze: they both have died, and I did what I needed
• 29:21
  Suze: to do.
• 29:23
  Suze: And then I said, OK, tell me about what you have.
• 29:27
  Suze: And she said, Well, I've been listening to you now
• 29:29
  Suze: for all these 40 years since we've known each other,
• 29:32
  Suze: and I own my house outright, and I have that,
• 29:34
  Suze: I mean, she's a multi-millionaire, and I said, What is
• 29:37
  Suze: the matter with you? She said, Well, I just didn't know.
• 29:42
  Suze: And so it was perfect because in her situation.
• 29:47
  Suze: She didn't even know about her money really she just
• 29:50
  Suze: put it little by little, didn't even realize what she
• 29:53
  Suze: had and she did though what was important to her
• 29:57
  Suze: to take care of her parents so we've probably gone
• 30:00
  Suze: on too long about it however...
• 30:03
  Suze: Given that we are the age that we are, I
• 30:06
  Suze: think it's a really important thing that families really start
• 30:11
  Suze: having this conversation now with one another because eventually everybody's
• 30:16
  Suze: gonna have to deal with it. Next question.
• 30:19
  KT: This is my last question, and I think this deserves
• 30:23
  KT: a Suze school because this is a big question, and
• 30:26
  KT: I'm starting to get it over and over.
• 30:28
  KT: Suze, can you please discuss the decision to place a
• 30:33
  KT: permanent deduction of 23% on Social Security if no additional
• 30:40
  KT: funds are found or created to fully fund the SS
• 30:44
  KT: bucket payouts.
• 30:46
  KT: From what I understand, the president felt that because SS
• 30:49
  KT: would not be available to sustain paying out at this time,
• 30:54
  KT: the only option was to cut everyone's disbursements by 23%,
• 31:00
  KT: which would start 6 years from now.
• 31:03
  Suze: Listen to me, everybody. I'm not doing a Suze school
• 31:06
  Suze: on this. And the reason is this the president did
• 31:10
  Suze: not decide. There was no bill. There is no signature.
• 31:14
  Suze: There is no ceremony. Nobody sat in a room, everybody,
• 31:18
  Suze: and saying we're going to cut everyone's Social Security by 23%.
• 31:23
  Suze: But let me tell you what did happen.
• 31:26
  Suze: Every year, the Social Security trustees, KT look at what
• 31:30
  Suze: they have going in, going out, and they decide how
• 31:34
  Suze: long the Social Security system will be solvent. But everybody,
• 31:39
  Suze: you need to understand something.
• 31:42
  Suze: That because of a rule actually that's been in place
• 31:45
  Suze: since 1935, Social Security cannot borrow. It cannot spend a
• 31:52
  Suze: dollar it does not have, so it has to pay
• 31:56
  Suze: out what comes in, period. So the reserve empties and
• 32:00
  Suze: Congress does nothing at all. The checks shrink automatically to
• 32:03
  Suze: match the money coming in the door. Now that is true,
• 32:08
  Suze: but here's the thing.
• 32:10
  Suze: Just like in 1983, Social Security, I don't know if
• 32:14
  Suze: you know this, KT was weeks, not six years, was
• 32:20
  Suze: weeks away from not being able to pay full benefits.
• 32:24
  Suze: Did you know that?
• 32:25
  KT: No, because I was living in Hong Kong then.
• 32:28
  Suze: Well, nobody probably knew it here either how close we came
• 32:32
  Suze: to D-Day when it came to Social Security, but Congress,
• 32:37
  Suze: believe it or not, fixed it. They raised the retirement age.
• 32:40
  Suze: That's when it went from 65 to 67. Everybody, they
• 32:44
  Suze: taxed some benefits. They moved money around, and it was ugly.
• 32:48
  Suze: It was late, but they did it, and that one
• 32:50
  Suze: check bounced. Congress knows about these deadlines. Now. I personally
• 32:56
  Suze: don't know if Congress can do anything,
• 32:59
  Suze: if you ask me, but you know I'm not gonna
• 33:01
  Suze: get political, and that involves both sides. That's like, are
• 33:05
  Suze: you kidding me, Congress? I don't even know what we
• 33:07
  Suze: are paying you for. However, I have to have faith
• 33:12
  Suze: that they will do something. They will probably raise the
• 33:16
  Suze: Social Security age to 70, which I've been telling you,
• 33:20
  Suze: you're probably gonna have to do it anyway till then.
• 33:23
  Suze: So, probably till 70, they will raise how much Social Security,
• 33:27
  Suze: how much people's income is taxed that goes into it.
• 33:31
  Suze: They will do things like that. So, but here's the thing,
• 33:35
  Suze: you all have to understand.
• 33:38
  Suze: What do you do? Are you just sitting around waiting
• 33:41
  Suze: to see is Social Security gonna be there? Are they
• 33:44
  Suze: gonna lower it? Are they gonna raise it? What's gonna
• 33:46
  Suze: happen to it? You cannot count on anybody but yourself.
• 33:50
  Suze: I have told you that. I have told you that.
• 33:53
  Suze: I have told you that. What does that mean? That
• 33:56
  Suze: means you downsize now, you stop getting new cars every
• 34:00
  Suze: 3 years. You drive your cars for 15 years or whatever.
• 34:04
  Suze: You stop spending money you don't have,
• 34:08
  Suze: to impress people you don't even know or like you
• 34:11
  Suze: maybe don't go on vacations, you don't do things you
• 34:16
  Suze: have to start saving money now in the event that
• 34:20
  Suze: you won't get Social Security, so you better hope for
• 34:24
  Suze: the best, everybody, but plan for the worst now I
• 34:27
  Suze: have told you this for years now.
• 34:30
  Suze: I wrote the book The Ultimate Retirement Guide for 50+.
• 34:34
  Suze: Get it. Do what I say in it. It's out
• 34:37
  Suze: in paperback. You need to do that. So there you go, KT.
• 34:42
  Suze: I'm not doing a Suzie school on it because, wait,
• 34:45
  Suze: I just want to say this, the fix to the
• 34:49
  Suze: situation is not in the government's hands.
• 34:53
  Suze: I want us to make our own fixes with it,
• 34:57
  Suze: which means seriously downsize, seriously start saving, do what we
• 35:03
  Suze: can do, and then today, today, and hopefully, hopefully everyone,
• 35:10
  Suze: they'll fix it. I can't imagine that they won't, but
• 35:14
  Suze: then I can't imagine a whole lot of things anymore.
• 35:18
  Suze: All right, KT, what's later today now? What are you
• 35:21
  Suze: gonna do now?
• 35:24
  Suze: She's likes looking like I have no idea what I'm
• 35:27
  Suze: gonna do after this. All right then, fine, don't answer me.
• 35:31
  Suze: Just look at me with those pretty little brown eyes
• 35:33
  Suze: of yours.
• 35:34
  KT: I don't know.
• 35:35
  Suze: I see this. I have never seen her speechless in
• 35:39
  Suze: 25 years.
• 35:42
  KT: 6...
• 35:43
  Suze: It's 26?
• 35:44
  KT: Yes, it is.
• 35:45
  Suze: I am not good with numbers. We've started our 26th,
• 35:49
  Suze: all right, but I only talk about, see, it's like
• 35:51
  Suze: with money, I only count what's in the bank. I
• 35:54
  Suze: don't count what's to come.
• 35:57
  KT: 26 will be banked, trust me.
• 36:00
  Suze: All right, everybody. So until next week I'm gonna do
• 36:04
  Suze: a Suze school just so you know on debt and
• 36:08
  Suze: a few things that I just think you all should
• 36:11
  Suze: know about. All right.
• 36:13
  Suze: So until then though, there's only one thing that we
• 36:15
  Suze: want you to remember and what is it KT?
• 36:18
  KT: People first, then money, then things.
• 36:21
  Suze: Now you stay safe bye bye.