Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 453. Why Smart People Always Have a Plan B, C, and D

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453. Why Smart People Always Have a Plan B, C, and D · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:18
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast episode of Today.
0:22
Speaker 1: So in today's episode, we are talking about should I
0:27
Speaker 1: have a Plan B? The answer is yes, And I'm
0:29
Speaker 1: going to be talking about the importance of having a
0:31
Speaker 1: Plan B, C, and D, and why these plans actually
0:36
Speaker 1: don't deter you from your Plan A, but they actually
0:39
Speaker 1: make you more comfortable with pursuing your Plan A and
0:44
Speaker 1: feel like it is the right path because you've got
0:46
Speaker 1: these alternative plans. I also want you to look at
0:49
Speaker 1: a Plan B, not so much as a fallback plan,
0:52
Speaker 1: but as a knowing that this alternative reality for me exists.
0:56
Speaker 1: It's another path that I can go down. It helps
0:59
Speaker 1: you become better determining what are the best choices for
1:01
Speaker 1: you within your Plan A. Okay, so I actually don't
1:07
Speaker 1: really like I used to bang on about, if you know,
1:10
Speaker 1: if you're so serious about your planner, you shouldn't have
1:12
Speaker 1: a plan B. I used to bang on about that
1:15
Speaker 1: even before I did the podcast, because I think by
1:17
Speaker 1: the time I was doing the podcast, I learned that
1:19
Speaker 1: that kind of sentiment didn't really work for me at all,
1:22
Speaker 1: and actually the opposite was true for me and for
1:24
Speaker 1: most people that I saw succeeding in areas of their
1:27
Speaker 1: life that they didn't expect to succeed in. I yeah,
1:29
Speaker 1: I don't really believe in that, because so often people,
1:34
Speaker 1: you know, discover things about their capabilities or careers that
1:38
Speaker 1: they never knew that they would be interested in through adversity,
1:41
Speaker 1: through things not working out for them, through like really
1:44
Speaker 1: trying so hard at something and then it failing, and
1:46
Speaker 1: then due to that failure, due to the breakup, due
1:48
Speaker 1: to the XYZ, they discovered something that was quite a
1:52
Speaker 1: surprise to them and they were able to like move
1:55
Speaker 1: their skill set across to a completely different industry and
1:58
Speaker 1: thrive and be shocked that you know that they had
2:01
Speaker 1: never even thought that they would see themselves in that situation. Okay,
2:04
Speaker 1: So I want this to be an episode to help
2:06
Speaker 1: you become super open minded about your options and your
2:09
Speaker 1: choices in life, to feel like you are rich with choices.
2:13
Speaker 1: And I also feel like if you're someone that's really
2:16
Speaker 1: hell bent on your Plan A, it helps you actually
2:19
Speaker 1: be more comfortable with your Plan A knowing that there
2:23
Speaker 1: are alternatives that exist out there, but you're choosing not
2:25
Speaker 1: to take those alternatives because you're really you feel like
2:28
Speaker 1: this is the right thing for you. Okay, So that,
2:32
Speaker 1: in a nutshell is what the episode is going to
2:33
Speaker 1: be about. Now I do have a brain fact, we're
2:36
Speaker 1: talking about tics and Tourette syndrome, which is quite interesting.
2:42
Speaker 2: And then prior to.
2:43
Speaker 1: That little life update, I'm also not filming this episode.
2:46
Speaker 1: If you listen to last week's episode, you'd know that
2:48
Speaker 1: I didn't film it. I'm I'm batch recording episodes due
2:51
Speaker 1: to my maternity leave. So I'm recording this episode immediately
2:55
Speaker 1: after the last episode that I just did, and my
2:59
Speaker 1: skin is still extremely flaky and falling off, and I'm like,
3:02
Speaker 1: these are my two options.
3:03
Speaker 2: Film it and.
3:04
Speaker 1: Really hate hate no it looks because I just want
3:07
Speaker 1: to be in my pajamas recording this with a face
3:10
Speaker 1: that's flaking off, which wouldn't happen, or not film it
3:14
Speaker 1: and be able to batch record more episodes, which to
3:16
Speaker 1: me is more of a priority.
3:18
Speaker 2: So we're not filming.
3:19
Speaker 1: We are recording, and it's I'll be dead honest with you.
3:24
Speaker 1: I like doing video, but I feel more comfortable just
3:27
Speaker 1: recording audio. So it's kind of nice to sometimes dip
3:30
Speaker 1: into just audio only podcasts like the old school days,
3:34
Speaker 1: Like I really really enjoy it as well.
3:37
Speaker 2: So anyway, let's get straight into it.
3:39
Speaker 1: Let's talk about the brand fact of today, which is
3:43
Speaker 1: pick disorders. Tourette syndrome falls into hick disorders, and tic
3:48
Speaker 1: disorders is in the DSM five. And there's three kinds
3:52
Speaker 1: of tick disorders, and I'm going to talk about how
3:54
Speaker 1: they can actually be like categorized further down. So we've
3:57
Speaker 1: got tourette syndrome, then another disord, another tick disorder is
4:01
Speaker 1: persistent motor or vocal tick disorder, and then the third
4:04
Speaker 1: one is provisional tick disorder. Okay, So ticks are known
4:09
Speaker 1: as quick, non rhythmic movements that occur over and over, okay,
4:15
Speaker 1: but specifically not caused by substance abuse and not caused
4:21
Speaker 1: by Huntington's disease. So there's two kinds of ticks that
4:25
Speaker 1: you can have. So the first one is simple ticks,
4:30
Speaker 1: and this is where it's just one group of muscles.
4:32
Speaker 2: So this could be.
4:35
Speaker 1: Eye blink, any kind of twitch, that kind of thing
4:39
Speaker 1: like a shrug of the shoulders, so it's just one
4:41
Speaker 1: group of muscles. Then we've got complex ticks, so this
4:45
Speaker 1: is multiple groups of muscles. So this is where you're
4:47
Speaker 1: reaching for something in voluntary obscene language, which is known
4:52
Speaker 1: as corporre lalia, and that actually accounts for less than
4:55
Speaker 1: twenty percent of cases in Tourette syndrome, or echolalia, which
4:59
Speaker 1: is repeating the last word that someone said, or coprolalia,
5:03
Speaker 1: which is obscene gestures. There's a whole bunch of these
5:05
Speaker 1: different ones, and I'm not going to name all of them.
5:08
Speaker 1: But then another example of complex ticks without it being
5:13
Speaker 1: vocal or something like that is like where you're shaking
5:16
Speaker 1: your head while also shrugging your shoulders.
5:18
Speaker 2: Or something like that.
5:19
Speaker 1: Okay, Now, there's three different criteria that we have when
5:25
Speaker 1: we die, and I say, when clinicians are diagnosing the disorder,
5:30
Speaker 1: there's three things that they're looking at, the number of ticks,
5:33
Speaker 1: the duration of the disorder, how long it's been going
5:35
Speaker 1: on for, and the age when they started having ticks.
5:38
Speaker 1: So for Tourette syndrome to be diagnosed, you must have
5:41
Speaker 1: two motor and one verbal present. It can change over time,
5:46
Speaker 1: but they must persist for over a year and it
5:48
Speaker 1: has to have started before the age of eighteen. For many, many,
5:51
Speaker 1: many cases of Tourette syndrome, it normally starts between two
5:55
Speaker 1: and six and it's considered Turete syndrome is considered the
5:59
Speaker 1: most severe out of the tick disorders. Then we've got
6:02
Speaker 1: persistent motor or vocal tick disorders, and you have to
6:05
Speaker 1: have a single motor or a single vocal tick, but
6:10
Speaker 1: not both, and persistent for over a year and starting
6:15
Speaker 1: before eighteen.
6:16
Speaker 2: And for provisional you can.
6:18
Speaker 1: Have single or multiple motor and vocal but it has
6:22
Speaker 1: to be present for less than one year and appear
6:24
Speaker 1: before eighteen. These these tic disorders are normally most severe
6:29
Speaker 1: before puberty, and alongside that, they're more common during excitement, anxiety,
6:35
Speaker 1: and also exhaustion. Now, unfortunately, the neuroscience of these tick
6:40
Speaker 1: disorders is still not very clearly understood, like what exactly
6:45
Speaker 1: is going on in the brain. We have an idea
6:48
Speaker 1: kind of there's these theories that are put across and
6:50
Speaker 1: there's a lot of studies obviously going on, and there
6:53
Speaker 1: is like a you know, a strong idea of what
6:55
Speaker 1: we believe it could be, but it's still poorly understood.
6:59
Speaker 1: What scientists believe is going on is this basil ganglia,
7:03
Speaker 1: which is a group of different regions within the brain
7:05
Speaker 1: called the basil ganglis. You've got the cordate, the putam
7:07
Speaker 1: and the globus pelatus, the subthalamic nucleus and the substantial niagra.
7:12
Speaker 2: They're all involved in all these different functions.
7:14
Speaker 1: But one of the things that happens here is it
7:18
Speaker 1: suppresses that region is able to suppress involuntary or unwanted actions. Okay,
7:24
Speaker 1: So the basil ganglia is really good at inhibiting neurons
7:28
Speaker 1: in the thalamus and stop those neurons from sending movement
7:33
Speaker 1: or motor signals to the motor cortex, which then carries
7:37
Speaker 1: out signals for the body to move.
7:39
Speaker 2: Okay, So this area of the brain.
7:41
Speaker 1: Is really good at suppressing that okay, inhibition. What we
7:47
Speaker 1: believe might be happening is that certain mechanisms in the
7:50
Speaker 1: basil ganglia might be the reason why these signals are
7:53
Speaker 1: not being inhibited, Like something's gone on here, something's malfunctioned,
7:57
Speaker 1: or just not happening the way it should be happening,
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Speaker 1: so you're not getting this inhibition or like the stopping
8:02
Speaker 1: off that signal, which then leads to the signal still
8:05
Speaker 1: being sent to the motor cortext. Once it's sent to
8:06
Speaker 1: the motor cortext there's no stopping it. That person, you know,
8:10
Speaker 1: has little control over it. No matter how much they
8:11
Speaker 1: don't want to do it, they really can't stop it, Okay,
8:14
Speaker 1: it's involuntary. In addition to this, we also see in
8:18
Speaker 1: people with these tick disorders in increased activity in the
8:21
Speaker 1: pathways of the brain responsible for motor movements. So you've
8:24
Speaker 1: got a combination of higher motor activity for these habitual
8:27
Speaker 1: movements or behaviors and then on top of that a
8:32
Speaker 1: lack of inhibition and that's what leads to these tic
8:34
Speaker 1: disorders and Tourette syndrome. Now can it can't be cured completely,
8:40
Speaker 1: We haven't. We don't know of a QA for it. However,
8:43
Speaker 1: it can be managed. So therapy is a really good
8:47
Speaker 1: way of managing tick disorders. So identifying triggering events and
8:51
Speaker 1: then working around lie I don't know exactly how they
8:54
Speaker 1: do it is this these are trained therapist to work
8:56
Speaker 1: around with people with tick disorders, but I know that
8:59
Speaker 1: it has to do with identifying triggering events and then
9:02
Speaker 1: kind of coming up with a plan on how to
9:03
Speaker 1: manage these things around these events. Habit reversal, so this
9:07
Speaker 1: is where you are engaging different muscle groups that oppose
9:11
Speaker 1: the muscles that in the tick. So if the tick
9:14
Speaker 1: has to do with like drowning. You're then smiling when
9:17
Speaker 1: the tick is happening, and that starts to train this
9:19
Speaker 1: habit reversal, and that really does help kind of for
9:23
Speaker 1: some patients. It really helps them do less of those
9:25
Speaker 1: movements and then of course bringing in tools that's going
9:28
Speaker 1: to reduce your anxiety and depression. So when I was
9:31
Speaker 1: in grade twelve, one of my friends had a friend
9:34
Speaker 1: from a different school and he had really strong ticks,
9:37
Speaker 1: more so around shrugging and kind of where he pulls
9:41
Speaker 1: his like we're like tenses his neck, so those neck
9:43
Speaker 1: muscles really show, so it's like whipping his head back,
9:46
Speaker 1: the neck muscles are showing, and a lot of shrugging.
9:49
Speaker 1: But when he would play the guitar and sing, he
9:52
Speaker 1: never had a tick. So obviously there's certain behaviors that
9:55
Speaker 1: people can do that make them feel quite calm, or
9:57
Speaker 1: it uses different parts of the brain. There's something that's
9:59
Speaker 1: going going on with certain activities that people can do
10:03
Speaker 1: that can suppress or just not bring on a tick
10:06
Speaker 1: whatsoever for the duration. He could go on for ages
10:09
Speaker 1: and there'd be no sign of a tick whatsoever when
10:13
Speaker 1: he was playing the guitar and singing, So different patients
10:16
Speaker 1: might experience this, they may not, but this is one
10:18
Speaker 1: of the things that can happen. So that might have
10:20
Speaker 1: been a tool that reduces his anxiety, for example, that
10:24
Speaker 1: makes him feel really calm and therefore there's no.
10:26
Speaker 2: Expression of the tick.
10:28
Speaker 1: You can have medications as well, so in most extreme
10:32
Speaker 1: like in extreme cases, they'll go down the medication route,
10:35
Speaker 1: and epilepsy medication can be effective. Antipsychotic meds could be effective,
10:41
Speaker 1: but then of course you get unwanted side effects. And
10:43
Speaker 1: then in some cases ADHD medications might help people control
10:48
Speaker 1: themselves more around, like focusing on doing you know, the
10:52
Speaker 1: habit reversal that I was talking about and things like that.
10:55
Speaker 1: And then for some people, depending on where the main
10:59
Speaker 1: site of their tick is or that main behavior, botox
11:02
Speaker 1: injections at the site can help some individuals.
11:06
Speaker 2: That's very dependent on what kind of tick they have.
11:09
Speaker 1: COOLBNS, Now that is the brain fact of today. I
11:12
Speaker 1: did have someone actually requesting that I do something on
11:14
Speaker 1: tick disorders, so I thought, that's a fucking great one
11:18
Speaker 1: and I would love.
11:19
Speaker 2: To talk about it, and I just did.
11:21
Speaker 1: Now let's talk about the importance of having a plan B,
11:24
Speaker 1: plan C, Plan D. The reason this came up as
11:27
Speaker 1: an option for a podcast topic or title is because
11:33
Speaker 1: I actually did talk about this in my live show
11:36
Speaker 1: about how having alternative plans really transform my life for
11:41
Speaker 1: the better. When I was too stuck on my Plan
11:44
Speaker 1: A and at the time it was making it in acting,
11:47
Speaker 1: it almost made me, well, not almost, it definitely made
11:52
Speaker 1: me more anxious. It made me doubt myself more. It
11:55
Speaker 1: made me be more fearful about my past. It made
11:58
Speaker 1: me feel like I've never been old and I'm running
12:01
Speaker 1: out of time. I remember feeling older at twenty five
12:05
Speaker 1: than I do in my thirties, which is just crazy
12:08
Speaker 1: that anyone in their twenties feels like they're too old
12:11
Speaker 1: for anything. But having this only this one plan Plan A,
12:14
Speaker 1: Plan A, there's no It made me feel like I
12:17
Speaker 1: was behind. It made me compare myself a lot. It
12:20
Speaker 1: just increased my anxiety. It was just not great, Okay,
12:24
Speaker 1: And I speak about that a lot in my live
12:27
Speaker 1: show because my live show is kind of like a
12:29
Speaker 1: journey kind of threw your life into all these different
12:33
Speaker 1: like there's the ten stages along your journey in life,
12:35
Speaker 1: is kind of what the live show was about. So
12:38
Speaker 1: I thought, okay, I'm going to turn this into an
12:40
Speaker 1: episode idea as well, and I want to talk about
12:43
Speaker 1: how all these alternative plans, Plan BAC, all of that
12:47
Speaker 1: actually led me to a life that I am so
12:50
Speaker 1: happy with, and I think happier than what I would
12:55
Speaker 1: have been had my Plan A worked out. We can't
12:57
Speaker 1: know for sure, and that's the beauty of, you know,
13:00
Speaker 1: not having all the answers, because I don't think i'd
13:02
Speaker 1: necessarily want someone to tell me no, no, you actually
13:04
Speaker 1: would have been happier if your Plan A would have
13:05
Speaker 1: worked out. Not but knowing what I know now, knowing
13:08
Speaker 1: what I value now, knowing all these things, I can't
13:11
Speaker 1: imagine being happier had the other plan worked out. But
13:14
Speaker 1: who cares anyway. So it's this idea that you could
13:17
Speaker 1: be so much happier if you allow things to fall
13:21
Speaker 1: apart when they simply just don't work out for you anymore.
13:24
Speaker 1: It's not quitting before you're ready to quit. It's not
13:28
Speaker 1: not giving it you're all, it's none of that. It's
13:30
Speaker 1: just allowing failure into your life, or allowing yourself to
13:34
Speaker 1: quit when you're still ahead, or to give up when
13:37
Speaker 1: something's just not working for you, especially when you're growing
13:41
Speaker 1: out of something you know mentally, so like, ask yourself this,
13:46
Speaker 1: how many times have you grown out of something? But
13:49
Speaker 1: you fear giving it up because it would seem to
13:52
Speaker 1: you and other people around you who are invested in
13:56
Speaker 1: this or who care.
13:57
Speaker 2: About this, that you're doing this.
13:58
Speaker 1: It would seem that you have failed, or that you
14:01
Speaker 1: gave up, or that you threw in the towel, when
14:04
Speaker 1: in reality, you just realize that it wasn't working for you,
14:07
Speaker 1: and there might be other paths available for you to
14:10
Speaker 1: take in your life that could make you happier, that
14:12
Speaker 1: could make you more well balanced, that could give you
14:15
Speaker 1: a better social life, that could give you a better
14:17
Speaker 1: experience of your life. Have you ever felt that way?
14:21
Speaker 1: And instead of thinking this is the time to throw
14:24
Speaker 1: in the towel, this is the time to look at
14:26
Speaker 1: alternative paths for me. I don't have to give up
14:28
Speaker 1: everything I've done. I could transfer my skill set maybe maybe,
14:32
Speaker 1: maybe not, but I'm not going to do it because
14:35
Speaker 1: I'm scared that it looks like I've thrown in the towel.
14:38
Speaker 1: I'm scared that I look like a failure. And I
14:40
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people listening have been in
14:42
Speaker 1: this position. So if you only have your Plan A
14:47
Speaker 1: and you feel this way, you can probably relate to
14:50
Speaker 1: this feeling of getting so emotionally entangled with that plan
14:55
Speaker 1: that you and your ego hold onto it for so
14:58
Speaker 1: much longer, and you miss out on some really really
15:01
Speaker 1: really good redirections and some really good opportunities that could
15:05
Speaker 1: present themselves right in fuck in front of your eyes.
15:09
Speaker 2: Okay, Now, before we go into.
15:14
Speaker 1: All the key points of what I'm going to talk about,
15:15
Speaker 1: there's I think eight points that I want to talk about.
15:17
Speaker 1: Before we get into these eight points, I want you
15:20
Speaker 1: to look at these plans as alternative plans in your life.
15:24
Speaker 1: Not worse off, not a safety net, not the fallback option.
15:29
Speaker 1: They are alternative plans in your life. Okay, If you
15:35
Speaker 1: look at it as a fallback, then of course you're
15:37
Speaker 1: going to think, oh, if I get rid of my
15:39
Speaker 1: Plan A, then this is that I'm settling, I'm taking
15:42
Speaker 1: a step down, I'm doing what I wasn't able to
15:46
Speaker 1: have my dream. So now I've got to take this safe,
15:48
Speaker 1: fucking boring as a fuck option, and I'm always going
15:51
Speaker 1: to be thinking, oh God, you know, I imagine if
15:53
Speaker 1: I had made it in my dream that's what I'm
15:54
Speaker 1: going to be feeling, okay. So it's not a fallback plan,
15:57
Speaker 1: it's an alternative life plan. So when I put myself
16:01
Speaker 1: as the example, I started, Well, what I actually did
16:05
Speaker 1: was I was doing acting. This is the be all
16:07
Speaker 1: end all. It's the be all end all. It's all
16:08
Speaker 1: I want to do. And I thought, it's given me
16:10
Speaker 1: so much anxiety. It's not working out for me. Everything's
16:13
Speaker 1: going wrong. I'm just reaching so many closed doors and
16:17
Speaker 1: failures and not even that it just doesn't bring me
16:19
Speaker 1: joy anymore. It would be different if I just it
16:22
Speaker 1: brought me so much joy, but I kept failing. But
16:24
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I just love it so much, and
16:26
Speaker 1: I can see it wasn't making me happy, and so
16:28
Speaker 1: I thought I need to take a few months off
16:31
Speaker 1: completely and then maybe return in six months time with
16:34
Speaker 1: a fresh perspective. And this is just around the time
16:36
Speaker 1: that I was like moving to overseas. So it really
16:39
Speaker 1: allowed me to book that ticket overseas because I used
16:41
Speaker 1: to always think, oh, you can't move overseas. You might
16:43
Speaker 1: miss the audition that gets you a role that then
16:46
Speaker 1: will get you the next role. So I also was
16:49
Speaker 1: like putting my life on hold of for other things
16:51
Speaker 1: I would have liked to experience. For this plan aid
16:53
Speaker 1: to work out, which was never working out, Okay, just
16:56
Speaker 1: not it for me.
16:57
Speaker 2: I obviously whatever it wasn't working out.
17:00
Speaker 1: So I said to myself, I'm taking six months off
17:02
Speaker 1: completely and I need to go and explore. I need
17:05
Speaker 1: to like find equilibrium in my fucking life again. I
17:08
Speaker 1: want to feel really good about things and not just
17:10
Speaker 1: anxious about the things that supposedly supposed to be my passion.
17:14
Speaker 2: All these things.
17:14
Speaker 1: Anyway, did that, and I felt so great just after
17:18
Speaker 1: about two months of the six maybe less, but let's
17:21
Speaker 1: call it two months. I felt so great because I
17:23
Speaker 1: started imagining what life could be if I didn't go
17:27
Speaker 1: down that path. I thought I could get really into
17:31
Speaker 1: the fitness industry and I could have a great career
17:33
Speaker 1: in the fitness industry.
17:34
Speaker 2: Here I've been doing.
17:35
Speaker 1: Politis as a part time job to get me through acting,
17:37
Speaker 1: but I could actually lean in and really excel at this.
17:40
Speaker 2: I think I'm quite good. I could be.
17:41
Speaker 1: And then I started imagining what I could open.
17:44
Speaker 2: Up my own studio.
17:45
Speaker 1: I could have my own polity I could. Then I also,
17:47
Speaker 1: alongside that, started up my own blog, long a blog, which,
17:52
Speaker 1: in hindsight had I kept that blog going from then
17:54
Speaker 1: till now, I feel like it actually be. I feel
17:57
Speaker 1: like blogs are making a comeback.
17:58
Speaker 2: So love that for me.
17:59
Speaker 1: But anyway, started a blog which I did not stick
18:02
Speaker 1: it out, but I really enjoyed writing, and I was
18:04
Speaker 1: writing about psychology and mindset concepts and this and that.
18:07
Speaker 1: Then I thought, imagine, if I became a writer, it'd
18:10
Speaker 1: be so good to be able to write a book.
18:12
Speaker 1: Maybe in my future I'd love to write. I'd love
18:14
Speaker 1: to be a writer. So then I started thinking for
18:16
Speaker 1: all these concepts. But what that allowed me to do,
18:19
Speaker 1: what quitting my plan A allowed me to do, is
18:22
Speaker 1: it allowed me to kind of fathom, really contemplates what
18:28
Speaker 1: different options in my life could look like. And it
18:31
Speaker 1: didn't feel like a fallback. It felt like walking through
18:34
Speaker 1: a door to a different universe. I could walk down
18:37
Speaker 1: that door, I could walk down that other door. I've
18:39
Speaker 1: got that option, I've got that option. I've got that option,
18:41
Speaker 1: and I've got time on my side. I felt like
18:43
Speaker 1: I had time because I no longer was And mind you,
18:46
Speaker 1: while I was doing that, I thought, I'm never fucking
18:47
Speaker 1: going back to acting. I'm fucking done so it went
18:50
Speaker 1: from taking six months off to two months in being like, no, no, no, no, no,
18:53
Speaker 1: I'm ready for an alternative life plan. I'm ready for
18:55
Speaker 1: a change. And for some people that's not the case.
18:58
Speaker 1: Some people will take the time off to help give
19:00
Speaker 1: them perspective and balance, and then they return back to
19:03
Speaker 1: that plan, but with a refreshed kind of approach, thinking
19:07
Speaker 1: I need to change my approach. I can keep my passion,
19:09
Speaker 1: I can keep the plan a but maybe I need
19:12
Speaker 1: to change my approach.
19:12
Speaker 2: So everyone's gonna be different.
19:14
Speaker 1: But what I'm telling you is that for me personally,
19:17
Speaker 1: the reason why it was so this whole thing was
19:20
Speaker 1: so successful is because I had multiple plans, and mind you,
19:23
Speaker 1: all of those plans that I was thinking about and
19:24
Speaker 1: none of what I'm actually doing right now, which is
19:26
Speaker 1: the podcast, well, the writing I write books and the podcast.
19:30
Speaker 1: But I had these ideas, and those ideas led me
19:32
Speaker 1: to other ideas, which led me to other ideas, and
19:34
Speaker 1: then other failures and closed doors which then led.
19:36
Speaker 2: Me down the path that I went down.
19:39
Speaker 1: And what I basically, in a nutshell, that little life
19:44
Speaker 1: fucking anecdote, is that it gave me options for my life.
19:48
Speaker 1: We're talking about your fucking life, if anyone's If you're
19:50
Speaker 1: already gonna have restrictions on your life, there's going to
19:53
Speaker 1: be external things that happen in your life that causes
19:55
Speaker 1: restrictions that we have no control over, and that is
19:58
Speaker 1: literally life. Okay, don't do it to yourself, though. You
20:02
Speaker 1: don't need to add more restrictions unnecessarily for you to say,
20:06
Speaker 1: this is the only thing that can make me happy.
20:08
Speaker 1: This is the be all and all. This is. If
20:10
Speaker 1: I don't have this, I don't have success, then you're
20:12
Speaker 1: now adding unnecessary ridiculous Can I say? Can I fucking
20:17
Speaker 1: add restrictions onto your life for no fucking reason? You
20:20
Speaker 1: are delusional if you think that this is the only
20:22
Speaker 1: thing that can make you happy, delusional, and you're wasting
20:25
Speaker 1: your own time.
20:26
Speaker 2: You're being ridiculous.
20:29
Speaker 1: So what happens here is you start thinking, Okay, I'm
20:31
Speaker 1: going to pull back and imagine just let's like humor me.
20:35
Speaker 1: Humor alexis from do your fucking mind, And I want
20:38
Speaker 1: you to say, imagine, if for sure Plan A didn't
20:41
Speaker 1: work out for me, Let's just imagine what alternative lives
20:47
Speaker 1: that I could have that could actually be good. Let's
20:50
Speaker 1: just play a game. Let's fucking imagine I could be
20:53
Speaker 1: doing this career and that actually could be quite interesting.
20:55
Speaker 1: And I'm actually quite interested in this other thing. I
20:57
Speaker 1: never thought i'd studied because I thought, well, I've already
20:59
Speaker 1: gone done this part. What if I went back to
21:01
Speaker 1: study and become it, became a fucking architect. What if
21:05
Speaker 1: I decided to do a trade what? I want to
21:08
Speaker 1: be a builder? I want to be a fucking builder,
21:09
Speaker 1: and this is a good time to do it. Now.
21:11
Speaker 2: I don't have kids yet, maybe I start.
21:12
Speaker 1: Like whatever the fuck, but just to come up with
21:15
Speaker 1: two or three different alternatives. Okay, and I've said this before,
21:18
Speaker 1: I fucking say it again because it's very relevant to
21:20
Speaker 1: this episode. But studies have shown, like surveys have shown
21:24
Speaker 1: that on average, people have seven different versions of their life.
21:29
Speaker 1: And I'm talking completely different like with children without children
21:32
Speaker 1: living in this city, living in a completely different city, careers, like,
21:34
Speaker 1: we're talking completely different versions of their lives, seven that
21:38
Speaker 1: they would be very happy living in. So if they
21:41
Speaker 1: were to imagine, and this is on average, so you
21:44
Speaker 1: can imagine there's people with way more. There's some people
21:46
Speaker 1: with sadly, but in general, seven was the average of
21:51
Speaker 1: lives that they would be really happy living. So I
21:53
Speaker 1: want you to play that game, especially if you're someone
21:55
Speaker 1: that's really trying hard on a plan A and you're
21:57
Speaker 1: feeling like it's just not happening for you. You're feeling
21:59
Speaker 1: like you're falling behind. You're comparing yourself to everyone. It
22:02
Speaker 1: feels like everyone's doing well and you're falling behind. Play
22:05
Speaker 1: this game. You're going to feel empowered because options give
22:09
Speaker 1: you control. Options, especially when you're the one who gets
22:12
Speaker 1: to control which option you take, gives you freedom and
22:16
Speaker 1: most importantly, autonomy and independence. If you say I have options,
22:21
Speaker 1: I have autonomy, I'm independent.
22:24
Speaker 2: Okay.
22:24
Speaker 1: If you say I don't have another option, then you're
22:27
Speaker 1: saying I'm not in control. I'm not in my control.
22:31
Speaker 1: My life is not in my control. And you don't
22:33
Speaker 1: ever have to exercise these options if you don't want to.
22:37
Speaker 1: You just need to know that they're there so that
22:40
Speaker 1: way you can maximize what you're doing right now, or
22:44
Speaker 1: you can change what you're doing right now if you
22:46
Speaker 1: don't like it. Because you know that there are alternative
22:49
Speaker 1: options out there, you don't have to beg grovel, you know,
22:52
Speaker 1: to have the life that you want to have, to
22:54
Speaker 1: have a life that you can be happy, and because
22:56
Speaker 1: you know that there are other options. Okay, And another
23:00
Speaker 1: really good thing about this is because you can actually
23:02
Speaker 1: reinforce that option A is right for you. If you
23:05
Speaker 1: play this game, this imaginary game, you know, you play it,
23:08
Speaker 1: you think, oh.
23:08
Speaker 2: This, I could live that life. I could live that life.
23:11
Speaker 2: I could live that life.
23:12
Speaker 1: And you get really into it, you get creative, you
23:14
Speaker 1: start thinking how good that life could be. Then you
23:16
Speaker 1: pause and think, but I still want this for me
23:20
Speaker 1: right now. This is what I want for me right now.
23:22
Speaker 1: You still have more freedom because you think this isn't
23:26
Speaker 1: the be all end all. I'm going to work, I'm
23:29
Speaker 1: going to give it my energy, I'm going to give
23:30
Speaker 1: it my effort. I'm going to work hard. But I'm
23:32
Speaker 1: also going to look for balance in my life. I'm
23:34
Speaker 1: also going to look for happy relationships. I'm going to
23:36
Speaker 1: look for everything so it all works out for me.
23:38
Speaker 1: And if it doesn't, I'm not going to feel like
23:40
Speaker 1: a failure because I've just conjured up at least three
23:44
Speaker 1: alternative lives that i could be living quite successfully, quite happily,
23:48
Speaker 1: And so that's an option for me. Back there, you
23:50
Speaker 1: don't think, oh, my god, I have to make this
23:51
Speaker 1: happen at all costs. I'll crumble and die if I don't.
23:54
Speaker 1: That's the beauty of it. You've got alternative lives. It's
23:56
Speaker 1: not a fall back or a safety net where you
23:58
Speaker 1: feel like a failure otherwise. Sense number two, it took
24:09
Speaker 1: me so long to get to point two, but I
24:11
Speaker 1: feel like they'll be quick at the other points. Number
24:13
Speaker 1: two is you stop falling for the sunk cost fallacy
24:17
Speaker 1: and then losing even more so the sunk cost fallacy.
24:21
Speaker 1: I've got a whole episode on it. If you're interested,
24:22
Speaker 1: go check it out.
24:23
Speaker 2: But in a Nutch, I.
24:24
Speaker 1: Talk about it all the time, so I'm going to
24:26
Speaker 1: drill it into you Aghan. But the sunk cost fallacy
24:29
Speaker 1: basically is where you are incurring all these losses, but
24:33
Speaker 1: you continue to incur losses because you don't want to
24:38
Speaker 1: have that loss realized. If you don't stop and walk away,
24:41
Speaker 1: you technically have not lost that thing yet, if that
24:44
Speaker 1: makes sense. So, for example, if you're at the casino
24:46
Speaker 1: and you're gambling, you keep putting money in, you keep gambling, right,
24:51
Speaker 1: you're losing, you're losing, you're losing, but you're thinking, well,
24:53
Speaker 1: I still haven't left yet, and I can still gamble
24:55
Speaker 1: more money, So technically I'm not realizing that loss until
24:59
Speaker 1: I think, right, I've got to stop. Now, I've got
25:00
Speaker 1: to walk out these doors, and I've got to admit
25:02
Speaker 1: that I'm X amount of money down. That's the sun
25:05
Speaker 1: cost fallacy, the idea to stay and keep sticking it
25:08
Speaker 1: out even though the loss that you've incurred is likely
25:11
Speaker 1: never going to be recovered, very likely. Another example of
25:14
Speaker 1: the sunt cost fallacy is where you hate your career,
25:18
Speaker 1: but you think, I've just done three years in this degree.
25:21
Speaker 1: Then I just started this industry. I know for a
25:23
Speaker 1: fact it's not what I want. I know for a
25:25
Speaker 1: fact I hate it. It's miserable. I nothing about this
25:29
Speaker 1: makes me happy. But you stay in it because you think, well,
25:32
Speaker 1: I already lost three years at UNI and all the
25:34
Speaker 1: money that it costs to pay for that degree, so
25:36
Speaker 1: I'm going to stay in it. But the loss has
25:38
Speaker 1: already You've already incurred that loss, whether you stay or
25:42
Speaker 1: whether you leave, the loss has been incurred. So you
25:47
Speaker 1: could then and we think, oh, well, if I stay,
25:49
Speaker 1: it's the loss is minimized.
25:50
Speaker 2: But it's not. It's not minimized.
25:52
Speaker 1: Because if we were to leave, we'd at least have
25:55
Speaker 1: the chance of being happy or finding something that makes
25:58
Speaker 1: us happy. I've already paid for that degree, so I
26:01
Speaker 1: pay for the degree and be miserable, or pay for it,
26:03
Speaker 1: learn a left lesson and then be happy somewhere else.
26:05
Speaker 2: That's just another example.
26:07
Speaker 1: Having these alternative plans stops you from falling for this
26:10
Speaker 1: sunk cost fallacy. Even more, if you can really identify
26:13
Speaker 1: a life that can make you happy, it's easier for
26:16
Speaker 1: you to walk away without thinking. I cannot incur that loss,
26:19
Speaker 1: I cannot kind of admit to that loss. Okay. Number three,
26:24
Speaker 1: it becomes easier for you to quit. Okay, you're not
26:28
Speaker 1: driving yourself into the ground flogging a dead horse because
26:31
Speaker 1: you've got exciting alternatives around the corner. They're not lay mass, sad,
26:35
Speaker 1: fucking fallback plans that feel like you've failed.
26:38
Speaker 2: They're exciting.
26:39
Speaker 1: Okay, when something good is waiting on the other side,
26:43
Speaker 1: you can walk away with your sanity and self esteem.
26:46
Speaker 2: Kind of intact.
26:47
Speaker 1: A few weeks ago, I did an episode on your
26:50
Speaker 1: batner okay, and like, how to not settle for shit
26:54
Speaker 1: because you've got a really good batner. Definitely listen to
26:57
Speaker 1: that episode if you haven't already, Because it's all about
26:59
Speaker 1: negotiating the best option for you in life, in anything,
27:02
Speaker 1: and in dating, in Korean whatever like. It levels up
27:06
Speaker 1: your negotiating skills, it's the best. Check it out. But basically,
27:10
Speaker 1: when you have a really good batner, okay, it's easier
27:14
Speaker 1: for you to quit things that aren't working out for you.
27:16
Speaker 1: If you say this is the only thing for me,
27:19
Speaker 1: and then it starts to suffer, and then it starts
27:22
Speaker 1: to impact your mental health, your anxiety, your overall mood,
27:24
Speaker 1: your overall life satisfaction, and your confidence and self esteem
27:27
Speaker 1: well la la and all of that. Then you're going
27:30
Speaker 1: to find it really really difficult for you to walk
27:32
Speaker 1: away because you're telling yourself, I can't do any better,
27:34
Speaker 1: I can't have any better. When you have these alternative
27:37
Speaker 1: life plans, whether you exercise that as an option or not,
27:40
Speaker 1: your standards are a lot higher. You don't have to
27:42
Speaker 1: put up with as much shit as you would if
27:45
Speaker 1: you didn't have.
27:45
Speaker 2: An alternative plan.
27:47
Speaker 1: Okay, So for example, if I didn't have ideas for
27:51
Speaker 1: my future back in the day, and I kept saying
27:54
Speaker 1: this is it for me, this is it, it's acting
27:56
Speaker 1: it's acting.
27:56
Speaker 2: It's acting.
27:57
Speaker 1: Then I'm going to be doing part time jobs that
27:58
Speaker 1: I probably don't like. I'm going to be probably working
28:01
Speaker 1: for people that I really didn't love working for because
28:03
Speaker 1: I didn't really have an option, because I had to
28:04
Speaker 1: pay my rent while I was going to all these auditions.
28:06
Speaker 1: I couldn't really commit to getting more of a full
28:09
Speaker 1: time job or committing to any other career because I
28:11
Speaker 1: had to put my time into acting. And also I
28:13
Speaker 1: had to be available for auditions, which always are in
28:16
Speaker 1: the middle of the fucking day. So there was all
28:18
Speaker 1: these things that I was stopping myself, blocking myself from having.
28:22
Speaker 1: And if I never created alternative realities for myself in
28:25
Speaker 1: my life, I would imagine that my life satisfaction unless
28:29
Speaker 1: it worked out for me, and unless I got that
28:31
Speaker 1: audition or I got that thing, that role, my life
28:34
Speaker 1: satisfaction would be quite low.
28:36
Speaker 2: Okay.
28:37
Speaker 1: Number four, you have less delusion, which is great, Okay,
28:42
Speaker 1: because being deluded is good at times, but in this
28:45
Speaker 1: regard it's not great. You stop seeing things through rose
28:49
Speaker 1: colored glasses because you don't have to romanticize bullshit in
28:53
Speaker 1: order to be okay with it. You know, sometimes we
28:56
Speaker 1: talk up Oh, but it's good, but it's this, but
28:59
Speaker 1: it's that, and it's like, no, it's not, it's fucking shit.
29:02
Speaker 1: This is fucking shit. Okay, I'm not making the money
29:04
Speaker 1: that I want to be making. I'm not able to
29:07
Speaker 1: afford the things that I want to afford. I've been
29:09
Speaker 1: banging on and it's just not fucking working for me.
29:11
Speaker 1: What I thought would actually be a glamorous life is
29:13
Speaker 1: actually shit. What I thought would be an entertaining career,
29:16
Speaker 1: I'm actually dealing with degenerates every single fucking day. I'm
29:19
Speaker 1: not into this anymore. And I don't have to romanticize it,
29:22
Speaker 1: because if this was my only option in life, I'd
29:24
Speaker 1: probably try and fool myself into thinking that I liked it.
29:28
Speaker 1: But I can call a spade a spade because I'm
29:30
Speaker 1: looking at this life. I've lived it, I've tried it,
29:33
Speaker 1: I've given it my all. Do I want to stay here?
29:36
Speaker 1: And if you can say nap, I'm not delusional about this.
29:40
Speaker 1: This actually is the bill, And then you stay look
29:43
Speaker 1: at a life that you're happy with. If you're listening
29:45
Speaker 1: to this right now and you have a happy life,
29:46
Speaker 1: still do the exercise because you can look at all
29:49
Speaker 1: your alternative options and say no, I still want to
29:51
Speaker 1: stay where I am.
29:52
Speaker 2: Perfect.
29:53
Speaker 1: That's when you should be staying where you are because
29:54
Speaker 1: you know that this is the best thing for you
29:56
Speaker 1: right now. Like right now, I'm not going to change
29:58
Speaker 1: my career. Why would I. It brings me so much
30:00
Speaker 1: joy if I can love what I do, so at
30:02
Speaker 1: this point in my life, it would just make no
30:04
Speaker 1: sense for me to exercise all these alternative options, which
30:06
Speaker 1: minds you I have thought about. I've got at least
30:09
Speaker 1: six alternative life options that I could be living around,
30:11
Speaker 1: and I'd be happy. But the reason I'm not taking
30:13
Speaker 1: that is because I can comfortably say, yeah, no, I'm
30:16
Speaker 1: happy in this path.
30:17
Speaker 2: I'm not romanticizing it.
30:19
Speaker 1: It's legitimately good for me. And that's the position you
30:22
Speaker 1: want to be in. You want to be able to
30:23
Speaker 1: call a spade a spade.
30:24
Speaker 2: Is it actually good for you or not?
30:27
Speaker 1: Number five, It makes it easier to stay when it's
30:31
Speaker 1: worth it. Okay, if your plan B or if your
30:35
Speaker 1: alternative plans are so good and achievable to you, even
30:40
Speaker 1: if it's a lot of hard work, but it's achievable
30:42
Speaker 1: to you and you are still staying, it's because it
30:45
Speaker 1: is the best option for you, and then you can
30:47
Speaker 1: act with more presents. You're like, I know these things
30:50
Speaker 1: exist outside of me, and I could get excited to
30:52
Speaker 1: exercise these other options if I wanted to, But this
30:55
Speaker 1: feels right for me, So I'm going to stick it out.
30:57
Speaker 1: And maybe instead of just sticking it out, maybe becau
31:00
Speaker 1: because it still feels so right for me. I can
31:02
Speaker 1: look at different approaches that I can take. I can
31:04
Speaker 1: get creative with my approach. I can be more present.
31:06
Speaker 1: I could be like, you know what, let's just go
31:09
Speaker 1: so fucking hard. Let's network like I've never networked before.
31:12
Speaker 1: Let's put myself out there. Let's change mine.
31:14
Speaker 2: Let's be outrageous.
31:15
Speaker 1: I've played a conservative. Let's not let's you know, so,
31:18
Speaker 1: you become more grateful for your current reality knowing that
31:21
Speaker 1: you don't have to exercise these other options, and then
31:24
Speaker 1: it allows you to be more present in how you're
31:26
Speaker 1: exercising these these you know, like current options within this
31:30
Speaker 1: plan A that you have number six. It makes you
31:34
Speaker 1: less attached to controlling external circumstances.
31:38
Speaker 2: Again. I recently did an episode.
31:40
Speaker 1: About impermanence and how embracing impermanence can be one of
31:44
Speaker 1: the best things you do for yourself, and it can
31:46
Speaker 1: make you a whole lot happier when you can embrace
31:50
Speaker 1: this impermanence of And part of this embracing impermanence can
31:54
Speaker 1: I spoke about being less attached to controlling external circumstances,
31:58
Speaker 1: the things that are genuinely not within your control. You
32:00
Speaker 1: can control how you show up, you can control how
32:03
Speaker 1: you prepare, but you can't control who you're competing against.
32:05
Speaker 1: You can't control what it is that other people are
32:08
Speaker 1: looking for. Who wants to work with you versus who doesn't.
32:10
Speaker 1: There's many things that are up in the air with
32:12
Speaker 1: when it comes to career. Okay, so this tactic, having
32:16
Speaker 1: these alternative options, having a good alternative option, you're a batner.
32:21
Speaker 1: This makes you less attached to trying to control things
32:25
Speaker 1: outside of you. You realize that you actually are going
32:28
Speaker 1: to be okay if this thing doesn't work out. You
32:31
Speaker 1: are going to be okay. If the person, the love
32:33
Speaker 1: of your life that you're with right now that you're
32:35
Speaker 1: telling yourself, I will never ever be able to find love.
32:37
Speaker 1: If this person like me, you'd actually be okay if
32:39
Speaker 1: the love of your life were to leave you high
32:42
Speaker 1: and dry, right because after the storm there's going to
32:45
Speaker 1: come a different season where you rediscover yourself in a
32:47
Speaker 1: completely different way, and very often it's better than before.
32:52
Speaker 1: And the reason it's better than before is because we
32:55
Speaker 1: gain clarity, we gain wisdom, We gain knowledge and strength
33:00
Speaker 1: that you don't gain by smooth sailing. What is it like,
33:03
Speaker 1: smooth sea's never made or whatever, sailer, I don't know
33:07
Speaker 1: what the fucking saying is, but that's what we're talking about.
33:10
Speaker 1: Like you, sometimes these rough patches are what builds you
33:13
Speaker 1: up to be the.
33:14
Speaker 2: Best version of yourself.
33:15
Speaker 1: Okay, number seven, This makes you having a plan bcdef whatever,
33:22
Speaker 1: makes you more creative and more open minded for what's
33:26
Speaker 1: actually possible.
33:26
Speaker 2: For you to achieve.
33:27
Speaker 1: You start to see possibilities everywhere. You start to be like,
33:32
Speaker 1: you know what, if I'm choosing to stay here, it's
33:34
Speaker 1: because I really think this is the best option for me.
33:37
Speaker 1: It's because I really it's not sun cost fallacy, it's
33:40
Speaker 1: not romanticizing. It is I really feel that this is
33:43
Speaker 1: right for me. Because I'm now so open minded of
33:46
Speaker 1: different opportunities in my life, I can now see like
33:50
Speaker 1: opportunities and possibilities everywhere. They're fucking everywhere. Like sometimes when
33:55
Speaker 1: I do this exercise. I'm in awe about the different
33:58
Speaker 1: careers that I could technically have. Like if podcasting just
34:02
Speaker 1: dissolved overnight, Don't get me.
34:03
Speaker 2: Wrong, I'd be devastated.
34:04
Speaker 1: I actually would be devastated, but very quickly I'd be like,
34:08
Speaker 1: you know what, maybe this is pointing me into another direction,
34:12
Speaker 1: and I could take this career or this career, and
34:14
Speaker 1: I would just very quickly be able to adapt into
34:18
Speaker 1: something that I know could make me happy, very happy, okay,
34:21
Speaker 1: because I would start to seek out possibilities and opportunities everywhere. Okay,
34:27
Speaker 1: So because of this, you're staying where you are because
34:30
Speaker 1: you want to and because you can see that you
34:32
Speaker 1: can really maximize the experience that you're having right now.
34:36
Speaker 1: And then, lastly, the final one is you become more
34:41
Speaker 1: confident because you feel that you are in control of
34:45
Speaker 1: your life. You stop feeling like you are at the
34:47
Speaker 1: mercy of other people. I can't wait until this person
34:51
Speaker 1: gives me a promotion, or hopefully this person gives me
34:53
Speaker 1: a callback on this audition, or hopefully this person doesn't
34:57
Speaker 1: want to leave me and they proposed me this and
35:00
Speaker 1: if they don't propose on this trip, then no, can't
35:03
Speaker 1: absolutely fucking not. I me in control of my life.
35:05
Speaker 1: I'm in control of where it's headed. There are certain
35:08
Speaker 1: people that I can't control, like everyone else except for me,
35:11
Speaker 1: there are certain circumstances that I can't control. But I
35:13
Speaker 1: can control how resourceful I am. I can control how
35:16
Speaker 1: much I love doing what I'm doing, the effort I
35:18
Speaker 1: put in, how I prepare different things that I want
35:22
Speaker 1: to try to make this career work. I can also
35:24
Speaker 1: control when I walk away, which is huge. Knowing that
35:27
Speaker 1: you can walk away because you've got alternative lives that
35:30
Speaker 1: you can walk into, is the most powerful negotiating tool
35:35
Speaker 1: you can ever have. If you tell yourself that you
35:38
Speaker 1: can't walk away from something, you've lost your ability to negotiate.
35:43
Speaker 1: You start settling for a pittance that people give you.
35:46
Speaker 1: You settle for the dregs of what people are willing
35:49
Speaker 1: to give you. Beggars can't be choosers, and you become
35:51
Speaker 1: a beggar in life. If you tell yourself that you
35:55
Speaker 1: don't have options, if you tell yourself that you know
35:58
Speaker 1: you are not in control of your life, then you
36:01
Speaker 1: are technically a beggar. So you need to change that narrative,
36:04
Speaker 1: and you need to say I have fucking options and
36:06
Speaker 1: really good ones too, thank you very much. So the
36:08
Speaker 1: reason I'm staying here is because again I am choosing
36:12
Speaker 1: to stay here, not because I've told myself this is
36:15
Speaker 1: it can't you can't have any other option, and you
36:17
Speaker 1: can't be happy in any other way. And we do
36:18
Speaker 1: this with relationships, We do this with jobs, we do
36:22
Speaker 1: this with friendships, We do this all the time. We
36:24
Speaker 1: cock block ourselves constantly from really opening our eyes and
36:28
Speaker 1: seeing that there's potential fucking everywhere. Okay, it's just a
36:32
Speaker 1: shift in your mindset. It's a shift in what you
36:35
Speaker 1: focus on. It is a shift in what you pay
36:37
Speaker 1: attention to. What you feed expands. Okay, what you focus
36:42
Speaker 1: on expands. So if I focus on the facts that
36:44
Speaker 1: I actually have a lot of opportunities, I don't care
36:47
Speaker 1: if you're in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties.
36:50
Speaker 2: Listening to this.
36:51
Speaker 1: You always can pivot and find a version of your
36:55
Speaker 1: life that you'd be truly happy in. Okay, I'm not saying.
37:00
Speaker 1: At no point have I said it's easy. But when
37:02
Speaker 1: you are excited about something, when you see potential, when
37:05
Speaker 1: you have control and autonomy, then it's doable, and it
37:09
Speaker 1: feels good while you do it. So when I ended
37:11
Speaker 1: up ultimately pivoting, it was to do a master's degree.
37:14
Speaker 1: And it was very hard, and I was trying to
37:17
Speaker 1: pay my way and I wasn't making much money, and
37:19
Speaker 1: it was hot.
37:19
Speaker 2: But I loved it. I loved it.
37:22
Speaker 1: I loved the hard work.
37:23
Speaker 2: I loved the effort that it put in.
37:24
Speaker 1: I knew that it was, you know, years before I
37:26
Speaker 1: could actually make an income off it, and I also
37:28
Speaker 1: knew that, you know, there would be many struggles along
37:31
Speaker 1: the way, but I felt in control of my life.
37:34
Speaker 1: I felt like I finally had the reins again. And
37:37
Speaker 1: when I had control, I stopped comparing myself to other people.
37:40
Speaker 1: I stopped looking at the fact that, you know, my
37:43
Speaker 1: friends were already you know, getting promoted or putting a
37:47
Speaker 1: deposit on a house, and I was struggling to just
37:50
Speaker 1: make ends meet, and I would have to check my
37:52
Speaker 1: bank account every time i'd go out for breakfast with
37:55
Speaker 1: a friend, you know. So I even then, even when
37:57
Speaker 1: my money was poor, you know, all of that, I
38:01
Speaker 1: still felt so happy and no like, I did not
38:04
Speaker 1: feel like I had to compare myself because I was
38:06
Speaker 1: doing something that felt right for me where I was
38:08
Speaker 1: in control, and that came from knowing when to quit
38:10
Speaker 1: other things in my life. All right, So hopefully this
38:14
Speaker 1: episode has really inspired you to do this exercise and think,
38:17
Speaker 1: how the fuck can I'm going to conjure up all
38:19
Speaker 1: these different versions of my life where I could be
38:21
Speaker 1: happy in, and then I'm going to make a big call.
38:23
Speaker 1: I'm going to decide, well, knowing what I know now,
38:25
Speaker 1: knowing these possibilities, do I want to stay where I
38:28
Speaker 1: am doing exactly what I'm doing? Do I want to
38:30
Speaker 1: stay where i am but change my tactic because now
38:33
Speaker 1: I'm gonna lean all in because I've got all these
38:34
Speaker 1: great other lives I could be living, and I don't
38:36
Speaker 1: want to waste time. So I need to really maximize
38:38
Speaker 1: this milk. This Is it actually gonna work or not?
38:40
Speaker 1: Because then there's all these other fun lives I could
38:42
Speaker 1: try and live. Or Am I going to throw in
38:44
Speaker 1: the towel right fucking now and say no, no, no, I'm done.
38:48
Speaker 1: I'm ready for this next pine because it seems so
38:50
Speaker 1: good and I'm so pumped for it. All right, So
38:52
Speaker 1: there's many options for you on the table. You have options.
38:55
Speaker 1: You are in control of your life not in every aspect,
38:58
Speaker 1: but you're in control of yourself. Tell you self you're
39:00
Speaker 1: in control, tell yourself you have autonomy and watch your
39:03
Speaker 1: approach to things change. Guys, thank you so much for listening,
39:07
Speaker 1: for listening to today's episode, I love you so much
39:09
Speaker 1: and shout out to all my global beans around the world.
39:12
Speaker 1: You guys are the best and my domestic Australian beans
39:15
Speaker 1: obsessed with you. All.
39:17
Speaker 2: That is all for today's episode.
39:18
Speaker 1: As always, remember be kind to yourself, be kind to
39:21
Speaker 1: your brain, don't text shit from anyone, and especially don't
39:24
Speaker 1: tex shit from yourself. Dunker