Latest / Your Thoughts Your Reality / Empowering Post-Military Wellness: Mr. Whiskey's Journey Through Camaraderie, Mental Health, and Positive Coping Strategies

Transcript

Empowering Post-Military Wellness: Mr. Whiskey's Journey Through Camaraderie, Mental Health, and Positive Coping Strategies · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Hello, hello, hello everybody, hey.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: So today we have a special guest.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Super excited for this one.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Mr Whiskey is a versatile personality known for his work as a podcaster, author, comedian and religious speaker.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: He's a US Navy veteran who served as an electrician's mate, nuclear, offering distinct perspective on life after military service, which we're going to get deep into today.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Focus on mental health.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Mr Whiskey uses humor and heartfelt advice to connect with military community.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: He is dedicated to helping veterans and their families navigate the transition to civilian life with empathy and understanding, and emphasizes the importance of mental health awareness and support within the military and veteran community with empathy and understanding, and emphasizes the importance of mental health awareness and support within the military and veteran community.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: So I'm super happy to have you on here, Mr Whiskey, and I still love your microphone, brother.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: It's awesome.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Tell us a little bit more about yourself, if you will.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Of course.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much for having me and for all that you do for the community that I'm also trying to serve and to try and clarify for your listeners and your audience where I kind of fit into this and your thoughts, your reality and how I can help y'all is if you have questions about paperwork side, I don't do paperwork right.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: If you have questions about VA, don't don't ask me, but my show and the people I'm connected with serve as a community and almost a support group where you know, after you leave the military you know, one of my mentors described it perfectly A lot of military members will take the last few months off.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: They'll take terminal leave, come back, do whatever they have to do and then leave the service.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: My mentor he was one of the only great leaders I had in the military.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: I had a lot of bad ones.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: He was a great one.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: He stayed.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: He didn't take that terminal leave and we asked him, petty Officer, why he goes.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: This is a chapter in a book that is closing.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: Once I leave, I'm never coming back to the Navy.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: I will never be able to be this leader that I am right now and to work with all of you as I do right now.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: So I'm going to stay for every last minute and it was inspiring.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: But he really inspired me and so my podcast, my show, is a place where, kind of like, there are a couple of groups out there, maybe like the American Legion in person, or there's Facebook groups.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: My show is just another platform for veterans to listen to other veterans talk, active duty members talk and be, like you know, relatable.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: I went through something like that, or I'm going through the same thing, whether it's negative or positive.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: Like you said, I use humor in combination with some serious issues, because we do talk about suicide, ptsd, anxiety, and we also talk about poor calls.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: We talk about some of the fun and then we talk about some of the not so fun, and I think it's really important to have both.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: The humor is important because the military has been known historically to have dark humor, to have a certain sense about things and to use that to get through difficult times long work days, long hours, working nights, being away from family.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: It's really important to try and maintain morale.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Especially a lot of us end up at command climates where morale is not so great, unfortunately, and so my show serves to help boost that kind of Navy camaraderie and military spirit afterward.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: You know, one of the things I've struggled with the most is making friends with quote I still call them civilians, you know, kind of treating them as a separate entity and so to be able to have a place where veterans and active duty members can come and tell those stories and kind of get it out of them and have that place so that they don't get stuck in life feeling like their only personality was hating the service or loving the service.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: And now what they still have an avenue to do that while transitioning and starting their new life.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: That's fantastic, man, and it's so important, like you said, to have that camaraderie still because, you know, one of the patterns I see constantly is someone gets out of the military they're not really prepared for it, they're going on you know the honeymoon phase which lasts a couple of weeks, maybe a month or whatever the case may be, and they're out having fun and all that stuff, and then reality starts setting in and they've lost that camaraderie.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: So I think it's super important that you're doing what you're doing, with having a place to go and talk to fellow soldiers and people that just to connect with and humor, I mean, is one of the best things for it, right?
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: I mean you release all those good endorphins when you smile and you laugh and it really does so much good for emotions, you know, mental mindset and just people in general, for physical, your physical being, if you will.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: So I love that man.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Hey, so before we really get into this, I just want to let everybody know on the top right hand corner of your screen there's a blue QR code.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Please scan that.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: It takes you to empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Again, that's empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: For those listening on the podcast forums later on.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: It has some books that I've written it has again talked about community.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: It's got a couple of Facebook groups for veterans and a separate one for families so that you can get involved and be with other members of the civilian world I almost said civilian world, the world once you're out.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: So please check that out.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: So, if we can, you ready to really get into this?
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: Of course Always ready, as that is the Navy's motto always ready.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: Hopefully I gave some of your Navy listeners a little, you know a little chuckle there.
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Always ready.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Awesome man.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: So, as a Navy veteran in mental health advocate, how has your personal journey shaped your approach to supporting veterans and their families?
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Mental health advocate.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: How has your personal journey shaped your approach to supporting veterans and their families.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: You know it's.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: I'm still kind of playing a role that I've been trying not to play since I was confronted by a chief on my ship, which was?
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: He said, mr Whiskey, you know, even Superman couldn't save everyone.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: He said you're always supporting all these other sailors that you work with, but you're never I never see you taking time for yourself.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: You really are burnt out.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: And that's a role I've been playing all my life, even before this service.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: You know, friends, family, whoever it was, I've always been a, a therapy sponge for people.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: They, you know, vomit all their negativity on me and it I got asked on one of my interviews you know, mr Whiskey, who, who, who was listening to you after all that I said no, when I went home alone, I walked my dog, and so it's shaped me in a way that you know I'm still playing that role and I feel like someone needs to play that role.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: But I also know that there's other people out there like me who are supporting our community but feel alone, and we need to help support them as well.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: And a lot of my journey has also connected me with people like myself or like a dear shipmate of mine.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: Who were these people who are happy, look great where we're the cool guy.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: You know we walk in the room.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: Everyone's like, hey, mr Whiskey, you're a petty officer, so-and-so, and it seems like everything's fine.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: And I know that.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: You know Mr Whiskey is such a front for how I really feel on the inside.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: You know I I'm on all these shows and I'm cool and I'm giving great advice and I'm always making jokes.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: I do perform comedy, in fact, in the civilian world, and I knew I live alone with my dog.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: It's always raining outside in Georgia, which doesn't help set the mood, but it's not just me.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: I had a shipmate called me shortly after I got out of the service and revealed that he's going to miss me because he had been suicidal and depressed and I would have never expected it out of all my shipmates because I sat down.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: I personally intervened on suicidal sailors.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: They've showed up to my room in the middle of the night, look and talk to me, cause they knew I was that guy who would listen and support them.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: And to have him call me and say, you know I was happy just for that little bit of magic, the gathering we played on on the ship and now you're gone.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: I mean, it really stabbed me through the heart to think him, like I said, just like me was smiling, talked to everyone, was doing what he had to do, and I would have never expected it.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: And there are some great people who have come on my show veterans and active duty members who are leaders in the military or were leaders, people who did years and years way more than me, and they seem so well put together and they were dealing with the same things.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: And one of the things about active duty members and veterans is I've yet to meet one who hasn't experienced a suicide or losing a shipmate or a sailor in a combat zone or at port, and a lot of times it's unexpected and talking to them and how they feel about it.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: So it's shaped my journey in that I want to be there for people, as many people, and I'm trying to.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: My biggest struggle right now is reaching the active duty member community and veteran community because they're so busy, especially active duty, especially the nuclear community of all, and I know one of the things that has been on my to-do list that I've pushed off which I feel like a lot of military members and veterans are so busy, they get involved in so much trying to find themselves and connect with people that we push off a lot of things.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: I've yet to go to a single American Legion since I've gotten out.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: I've yet to make friends and connections or join the Facebook groups, the very ones that I promote I've yet to be a part of.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: And so there is some hypocrisy on my end, I feel, but I just am so caught up trying to provide for everyone else.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: And so just a reminder again, like we saw on the screen there, to take care of ourselves, and I think you know the mission is important, don't ever forget the mission.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: But you know you got to take care of yourself too.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: And fortunately I've seen very rarely, I have seen shifts in the military and certain chains of command where they are prioritizing their sailors getting help and hosting this show has.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: Really it's a negative and a positive thing I've seen a lot of veterans and active duty members have all brought up the same exact issue.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: Uh, so it breaks my heart that we can all be expressing the same issues and nothing's being done about it, but at the same time, if we have enough people feeling the same way, then we can enact change.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: The issue is, you know, the military is a rigid structure and I had a Marine who served for over 30 years come on my show and he really opened my mind to something a lot of us military members trying to always petition for changing to think about is, if it changes too much, the military will collapse, and you got to think about the size of it and how long it takes to make change and what can we prioritize in such a big organization that needs so many changes?
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: What do we need to prioritize that is most beneficial to the well-being and mental health of our military members, as well as promoting wanting to stay in?
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: When I was getting out and throughout my military service, all I saw was people getting out left and right.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: I knew more people getting out than staying in and I want the military to be an organization where we want to stay in.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: At one point I wanted to do 20 years and that was taken from me from several circumstances and I don't want that taken from people.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: I want people to just like the old war movies and like the commercials we see.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: I want people to love our country, which is a totally different issue on its own, but that's a huge factor into why people want to serve or not.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: Our military is a representation of America and America is a representation of military.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah absolutely Can I ask you a question, really quick, Of course.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: So first of all I want to say something.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: You made a very valid point man, Put on your mask before you put it on for someone else, you know, just like the airlines tell you right.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Because, if you're not good, how are you going to help someone else down the road?
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Because sooner or later, it's going to be a problem.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: So please remember that everybody Take a minute for your own self-help, that everybody take a minute for your own self-help.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Um, can you give us a couple of quick thoughts on, um, what you do for yourself?
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: Uh, for self-help.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: I know you're very focused on the other, like you said, but what are you doing for yourself?
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: so when I do make your dog, besides your dog right.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: Right, I do have my dog in my lap right now.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: She is not officially registered as an ESA, but she might as well be.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: She goes everywhere with me.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: I have a stroller for her, a purse, a backpack, anything to get her anywhere I need to be, and I'm very, you know, god bless to live in a town that is very pet friendly, so luckily I can take her a lot of places.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: But you know, I didn't have her with me when I was on the aircraft carrier, you know when I was doing this and that, and so writing has always been an outlet for me, and I've got my first nonfiction book coming out.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: It's called who Would Miss Me.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: And it's because when I spoke to these suicidal sailors and I listened to them, that was always a big question who would miss me?
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: And I was asked on an interview once you know, mr Whiskey, is it?
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: Who is it really taking their lives in the military?
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: Is it a certain group of people, this or that?
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: And I said we can look at the stats, right, we can look at white, black, chief officer, man, woman.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: I said none of that matters to a suicidal person who would miss me.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: They have no sense of identity or purpose anymore.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: I said they don't even know if they're white or black or a man or a woman.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: That doesn't matter to them whether they're a father, a husband, have kids or not.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it gets to that point I said we as investigators assign that and think I said that's one of the least important factors.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: In my opinion it's not about who it is.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: Mental health is something that affects everyone.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: It's the stuff in the military that was affecting them.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: That matters, not who they were on externally as a person.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: It's what was going on internally, and so so so what are some tips that you would give um to move people you know to for that self self-regulation, that self-help?
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: I think I've I've posted before and you know it gets some backlash from from people who indulge in certain things but they're not understanding it correctly which is de-stressors that are negative versus positive.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: Unfortunately, the military breeds unintentionally negative de-stressing and while the military itself puts out don't cope with stress by drinking, smoking, this, and that A lot of people Choose that it's an easy route, is a quick route, they drink, they smoke.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of sexual addiction in the military.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of just shut down where people will go and just sleep and they never do anything with their free time.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: And I get it.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: We're burnt out and people are always telling us go for a hike, go check out the town you're stationed near, and then we we don't.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: And honestly, that's one of my biggest regrets is not spending more time exploring the area.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: The military is a opportunity for you to get paid to travel somewhere.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: And look, I only went to virginia, so a lot of people who were serving with me hated it.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: They wanted to go outside of the country or a different state than norfolk, virginia, but at the end of the day, we got taken somewhere new.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: We should take advantage of it.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: But so many people?
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: The video game addiction is huge too, which I that's fine take.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: Take that time to have that little bit of video game time or TV time, but don't waste away in it, and I've seen so many military members waste away in it.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: So I want to focus on.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: I'd like to add really quick If you start playing video games, you're doom scrolling, set a timer, give yourself that for a certain amount of time, but then stop, because that's when it becomes.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: The addiction is when you are just doing it for hours right foster day, instead of going into virginia and hiking through some mountains or something right and that hiking is a positive de-stressor, rather than smoking or drinking or sex hiking.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: Or, like I said, I love writing and you don't have to be a writer, but there's there's poetry, there's songs, there's artwork and unfortunately there's a negative stigma that, especially for military men, that oh, you're gay if you like art or writing or you want to do that stuff, or if you want to do yoga or work out, but truly those are so much they release the same energy and they're healthier.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: Or if you're going to doom scroll, you can be doom scrolling through history, facts, science facts, something that catches your attention.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we love the memes, we love the humor, but you can still research stuff you're interested in and having that energy, and you know people will have the energy to go out and do something stupid, but then when their shipmates come over say, hey, let's go to a restaurant, let's go do this, and that I'm too tired, I got this or that.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: So it's prioritizing our energy, you know.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: So that's what I would stress is the positive de-stressors, figuring out and I'm not saying alcohol, and people get this misinterpretation that I'm saying alcohol is bad, drugs are bad, having sex is bad.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: That's not what I'm trying to say and I hate getting all that backlash what I'm trying to say is how you use it, how you prioritize it can negatively or positively impact your life and your military experience as well as the people around you.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, and I totally get that.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: So you know, and the reason we, we do those number one, it's an escape method.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: When it's when it becomes the addiction, we, it becomes the addiction, we're escaping, right, we're doom scrolling, we're drinking until we can't think straight, all those things because we're trying to escape something else.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: So what if we were to change whatever we're trying to escape and literally put that into a learning experience, whatever that case may be, because it literally is the meaning that you're giving it, the definition you're giving it is what's going, positive or negative.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: So you know, I don't care what it is in life, you can generally learn from it and then make it a positive so that you're not creating, leaving that trauma and rolling in your head and so on.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: There are so many different outlets now with releasing endorphins in a good way, whether you're working out, hiking, laughing, like you're talking about, go see Mr Whiskey at a comedy show or watch his show or something you know, but get those positive endorphins going because it's going to release all of those good hormones we need that you're doing the same damn thing when you're sitting there scrolling, or you have that sex addiction or whatever the case may be, just like you're saying, you can absolutely turn those things into a positive if it's in the right way.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: So I love it.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: I love what you're saying Right.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: And might I add something Please?
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: The one of the big issues, too, is the transition from high school to military, because a majority of the military is 17, 18, 19, 20.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: And what you have is because there's a lack of, I believe that the world is severely lacking mentorship, that our young adults are being raised by social media in bad ways and forced feeds and a lot of immorality.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: But even if you just look at their parents, a lot of parents are divorced or busy.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: You know, families aren't the same.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: They were that family time spent together aren't the same.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: Guidance counselors and teachers can't fill in for parents for every student.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: They have enough going on as well.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: And so you go into the military and we get this idea that now we need to be an adult.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: Because we're in the military, and that's true.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: At work, you need to be a responsible, mature individual, don't get me wrong.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: But we take that and we say, all right, well, now my hobbies need to be adult hobbies.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: I got to, I got to smoke and drink and be, you know, a man and everything else.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: All those de-stressors that you and I just talked about that are positive.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: They associate that with, if not gay, that's for kids.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: You know, that's like for kids.
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: We're men, we're going to go out drinking.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: That's how we deal with things.
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: I think those mindsets of masculinity and feeling like you need to be an adult just because you're in the military is wrong.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: You need to be responsible and mature, but you can still enjoy the stuff that you enjoyed, you know, and I think the only thing that really transitions over is video gaming has become like you know, now we got a lot of full adults who play video games, which is awesome, but unfortunately, that mindset that we need to drink and the drinking, the idea that military members need a drink I didn't drink and I was always pressured.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: Mr whiskey, you're a navy sailor, what do you mean?
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: You don't drink, you have to drink.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: And, uh, because of my father's battle with alcoholism and all that stuff, I had personal feelings against it.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: Right, and I do drink.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: Now, when, when it's a social event, I don't day drink or just drink.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: But I knew people I served with who would just go home and drink a whole bottle of whatever it was and pass out, and that's awful.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: That's awful, especially when you're seeing 18 year olds do it, 19 year olds do it, and you know, part of the issue is that you're you're putting this stress and workload of adults on to really people who are still just young adults, who were just were kids a couple months ago, and now you're in a situation where you're being treated like an adult, treated like a kid, but you're not, you're not having those outlets to be a kid in a way that is positive or healthy for you.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: The only way you're being treated as a kid is in terms of laws.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: You can can't rent a car, you can't go to a hotel, you can't drink all the, all the stuff that we want to have if we're going to be treated like an adult, but you don't have the time to do this and that, unfortunately, yeah, I agree, you're thrown into that world and you're an adult, but you're not an adult.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: I agree a hundred percent, and it's it's gotta be very confusing, um, and I think really, you know, of course, the military and I'm not throwing shade on the military, I'm so grateful, thank you, god, um, but they don't do.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: They're conditioning people for a reason to go and do what they need to go.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Do you know whether that's, you know, active combat zone or not?
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: They don't do the job well enough and there's been improvement.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: And the VA?
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: There's been improvement, but they don't do the job.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: On helping condition to come back out and go back into the civilian world, and that's where I see the biggest flaw.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: If you will right Because of your condition, right From the beginning, don't ask for help.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Get your job done.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Weakness is asking for help or talking about your feelings, all those things.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: So if we can get in and podcast, whatever the case may be, into that younger crowd in a podcast, whatever the case may be, into that younger crowd, how much of a difference can we make with neuroencoding or whatever the case may be, by just having the conversation so the stigma gets wiped the hell out and people will actually talk about it, feel comfortable talking about it, because that's the change in my opinion needs to really happen.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Stop giving your friends shit.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Stop giving the soldier next to you that may save your life shit.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: Be there for them when they get out as well well I was going to say you talk about.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: You know they lead the military and they're still wearing a uniform.
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: I'd like to argue that even while in the service, a lot of members don't take off the uniform when they get home.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Yes, you need to still be vigilant, you still need to know that you're a military member.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: That may make you a target for scams, for attacks, for whatever I've seen, you know, I've experienced, I've lived in an area where sailors and Marines were targeted.
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: They were killed, they were robbed, they were scammed.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: But that vigilance, that alertness, is different from still acting like you're on the ship or on base or you know, have to be so blocked off and rigid.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: You know, when you're doing the mission, focus on the mission, but when you go home, home actually take off the uniform and I I think part of the issue is that we, as military members, when we leave base and we go out into town, we're like that guy's a military member, that guy's a military member, she's a military member, you and I are military members.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: We still get into this mindset of focusing on the service so much.
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: We can't just like let it go.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: And I've had shipmates express concern to me.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: They're like mr whiskey, your personality has become just the navy, or hating the navy, or loving the navy, or whatever you still need to be a person of your own.
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and ultimately I want to get to the point where I can create a program to help mentor young service members who are active duty to have a mentorship program.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: My ship I remember when I got there they were like everyone find a mentor and it was like if you didn't find one, one was thrust on you and it was someone who was too busy, also themselves not really in a place to be a mentor.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: I think we need, like an outside party, whether it's civilian or military, that is just for mentorship.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: One of the biggest changes I've talked with other veterans about is we want a program where you actually sit down with a career counselor in the military.
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: You know, when you're talking to your recruiter, I don't want to say they don't have your best interest in mind, but they're a little biased when it comes to trying to push you toward a certain rate or something right or get this billet field or whatever, and they and their job is just to really get you in.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: It's not to set you up for a career.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: And then when you do get in, very seldom do you actually sit down with a career counselor and actually talk about life.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: You'll have a check sheet that you do that, you fill out, you'll have someone who is required to talk to you and it'll be a five, ten minute meeting like, okay, focus on these quals.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: You can go here and do this, but you very rarely have.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: Uh, all right, so your long-term plan is you, you want to get married around this time, have a family around this time?
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: Here's what you can do.
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: I I, if I could just speak to big navy one-on-one, I'd say give, when we give you the dream sheet, listen to it.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: Look, we know you need people, right?
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: You have a retention crisis.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: You have a recruiting crisis.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: Look, I'm Mr Whiskey.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: I was due 20 years.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: If I can get this rate and be in this place, and if you need that billet filled, then put me there.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: And if you need there's filled, then put me there.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: There's enough people who want to serve to fill these billets, but they're being deterred from that because they're saying, hey, I got in and I ended up.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: I was told I was going to be stateside the whole time and then they sent me to another country.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: I've seen people who, at 19 years, got out.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: 20 years is benefit marks for those who don't know.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: At 19 years they're like I'm not doing another day because I just had a family and they're trying to send me to korea for my last few months to active combat zone or something.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: They don't want to do that I've seen.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: A lot of people were trying to have families and the military is constantly putting them somewhere where they can have a family, but there are billets available for those spots to be filled and I think that's one of the biggest frustrations that, a the dream sheet is kind of a percentage chance whether you get it or not.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: B it's not a long-term dream sheet.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: And C that you're not really sitting down and talking with a career counselor and saying, hey, military, because at the end of the day it's a mutual relationship.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: It's not what it should be, right it should be.
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: I want to serve my country, I need a job.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: You have spots that need to be filled.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: I'd like to do this.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: You need this field.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: Let's work together and create an organization that feels like a family, like the brotherhood and sisterhood that is promoted on social media.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: Let's create a actual family where we care about each other, where we have non-toxic command climates and people are staying in.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: They are trying to do so many years that you don't even have the spots for them, that you don't even.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: You have to tell them we, you can't serve anymore.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: You've done 30, 40 years.
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: We don't have that.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: We have people on my ship.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: We're getting out Mass groups of them just for smoking weed on purpose, to get out or doing this, and that to the point that there was rumors they were going to change the no drug tolerance policy to.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: It's a captain's decision what happens to you because we were losing so many people, and the same with the alcohol related incidents, the, the duis.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: You know, it all stems to something.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: When someone asked me on an interview you know, know, mr Whiskey, what is the biggest sickness in the military?
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: Is it anxiety, is it depression, is it PTSD?
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: Is it suicide ideation?
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: I said those are all just symptoms of the real sickness, which is the command climate overall.
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: Now, that's one of the things your command climate can make or break your military experience, which is one of the worst parts, because could go.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: You could go to hawaii and had the worst miserable life ever because of your leadership.
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: Or you could go to norfolk, virginia, which is not so nice a place, but had the best leadership ever, and the same sailor wanted to do the same amount of years if if they went to either place, they could have a totally different view of wanting to stay in or out.
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: But overall, the whole military uh, you know needs to have this different command climate that promotes and fosters people wanting to stay in by making a mutually beneficial relationship we and and with that growth in the military, that's going to be a reflection of america.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: And if people are going to be like, wow, people are really loving the military, it's going to take away a lot of hate that Americans have because, just from the military alone, unfortunately, there's a lot of anti-Americanism going on in our country.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: And if we improve our military and we see our military members doing great and being happy, that's going to be a reflection of our country.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: We're going to see those anti-Americans are going to see that we love our country, we're more than glad to fight for our country and we're all signing up to do more and more years and it's going to help change their hearts.
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's what I'd like to see.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: I'd like to see everyone love America again.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Amen, I love that man, I love that.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: What do you want?
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: You know you brought this up, you know about that, the big dream.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: What do you want?
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: Because once you know what you want, the hows happen and you can break those and chunk those down into goals, whether those be three years, five years, 10 years, 20 years, whatever the case may be just like you're talking about.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: So I think I think it's super important.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: You know the case may be just like you're talking about.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: So I think it's super important, you know, to get that in there, just like you're saying, so that it does feel like that family and it is oriented towards you.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: You know, I think that's super important.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: So thanks for bringing that up.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, we are out of time.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: We're already past our time, man, so I've really enjoyed this conversation.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: So, first of all, if we can, how do people get a hold of you?
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: Yes, so best ways coupleofnukes at gmailcom.
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: That's couple O-F.
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: You can't have an apostrophe in an email, so coupleofnukes at gmailcom is the best way to reach me.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: My website.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: If you look up couple of nuk and the website should be one of the top links found that has every episode, my most popular episodes, highlighted for you, categorized into each different military branch, into different subjects.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: I have every guest and all their information, every show I've ever been on and all my contact information there as well.
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: Kapua Nukes is my Instagram as well.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: I just started that recently.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: And then my YouTube, also Kapua Nukes, so everything is pretty.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: A couple of nukes is my Instagram as well.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: I just started that recently.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: And then my YouTube, also a couple of nukes, so everything is pretty much a couple of nukes.
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: I'm getting that, yeah, and on my podcast there's now the new Buzzsprout fan mail feature so you can actually text me.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: I can't text back, but you know if you have anything you want to send and I right now I'm working on my show.
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: I want to foster a lot of engagement from people.
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: I want you all to send me.
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: What are your questions about the military?
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: Because if I can answer your question, I have been.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: Everyone who has come on my show has offered their contact information to talk to.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: So if you don't want to talk to Mr Whiskey, I've got the the the Marine Sniper Rifle Association president came on my show and he said he'll talk to any one of you.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: I've got a guy who works for the Suicide Hotline for Veterans who came on my show who is willing to talk to you.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: I can get you in contact with someone, whether it's Army, navy, marines.
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: And just to clarify real quick, my show also has it's not just stories for veterans and active duty members to relate to one each other.
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: I also have guests come on to help you transition to the world with relationship advice, real estate advice, financial advice.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: Like I said, outside of VA paperwork, I try to give you as much as I can, resources and people wise.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: So awesome, awesome, absolutely so, as promised, we're going to ask you to do three tips to get veterans and their families further faster the support.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: You just need to feel listened or heard, and that doesn't necessarily mean you have to go sit with a group of people.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: Some people don't want to do that, some people might not like that, and so number one would be get that support group and definitely try to.
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: Don't fight the civilian world, don't treat it as an outside entity like these.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: People don't understand.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: It is different, I get it.
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: I've seen some of the work ethic.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: I've seen some of the mindsets around things.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: They're a little different, but there are plenty of people in the civilian world who are very much military members that just never served and they are there for you and there's a lot of love and support from the families, people like Michael Cole.
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: So there are people out there for you.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: Number two just because you get out of the military doesn't mean you still don't need to de-stress from it.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: There are memories that pop up left and right.
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: There are subtle things, subconscious things, and so still de-stress, not through smoking or drinking or doing anything bad, right and abusive, but if it was, if there was stuff you enjoyed doing in the military that helped you get through stuff.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: Just because you're out doesn't mean that stress is going to go away and you're going to have the whole new stress of the civilian world.
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: So keep practicing your de-stressors and any military resources that you were using, as long as you have access to them as a veteran, keep, keep using them.
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: That whatever was helping you.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: And, yeah, and then a third one.
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: Uh, you know, I would just really find an identity if.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: If you didn't have one or you made your military identity.
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: Uh, that's something my book is going to address.
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: You know, I never expected mr whiskey.
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: That was kind of a god-thrown thing onto me, uh, but if it wasn't for mr whiskey, you know I would have gotten out and I don't know what I would have done.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying everyone, go name yourself after an alcohol and start a podcast, but find someone and I mean outside of being a father, a husband, a mother, a wife find someone new.
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: This is your chance to start a new life.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: The military a lot of people see it as the big part of their life, especially the longer you're in.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: But you got to see it as just another stone in a path you're forming in life.
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: And you know, like, like my mentor said, it's it was just a chapter in a book.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: It came to an end and you've got a lot more chapters to live after that.
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: So find support, and that could also be a religious community.
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: If it's not military, it might be good to connect with a religious community, even if it's just a peer group or even a woman's brunch club.
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: There are so many.
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: With social media, there are so many ways to find groups, either virtually or in person.
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: So find those you know.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: Continue to de-stress and realize that the military has lasting effects and you need to constantly combat those and the civilian world stresses.
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: And then yourself, work on yourself.
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: Help the others around you, but work on yourself and really try to identify yourself, not as who you were in the military or even before that.
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: A lot of people try to revert to their old lives, and that's an issue they encounter on leave and vacation in the military too.
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: You're not the son or daughter you were.
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: You're not the person you were.
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: It's part of life.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: You can still be like that person, but you've got to combine that with everything you've gone through now and start anew.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you've grown, and so are the people around you, your family at home.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: Everybody's changed.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: Everybody has, whether that's been months, two years or 23 years.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: Everybody has changed.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: So really kind of be present with that.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: You said that.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: And your old book.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: It's okay to look in your old book to learn from and take the leadership skills and the amazing skills that so many of our veterans forget they learned because they just think it's a job to use to start your new business.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: I work with with people all the time.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Start your new business, start figure out what you want in your next life.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: Like you said, I love it.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: Hey, man.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: So, um, as always, you know, our, our time here, you know, as human beings, is the most precious resource we have, so we don't get it back.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: Thank you for spending this time with us.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: Man Really appreciate it.
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: No, thank you for having me and thank you for serving our community.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: Absolutely All right.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: Everybody, we are out of here.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Catch you on the next episode.