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What If Productivity Is Not The Point · Fierce Encouragement

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, everybody.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is Mark, and this is the podcast called Fierce Encouragement.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for spending some time with me today.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're new here, I created this podcast to well, to help myself and to share some techniques and tools and mindsets because I really struggled with self-doubt and fear and even having laziness take over my life in so many ways and hesitation and procrastination.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I found working with people and having great conversations with leaders and doing workshops that seeing the potential in people, fiercely encouraging them to realize who they are beneath all the roles and goals, that we can fiercely encourage each other and ourselves and live a more balanced and fulfilling life.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you get something out of this.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you for tuning in today.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm kind of, well, I'm kind of doing ad lib here.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: I have a few notes in front of me, and I wanted to talk about something that I've been building.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: But before I get to that, I wanted to talk about, well, talk about who I was about 20 years ago.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: At that time, I was living in Chicago.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was a single guy and finding my way through life.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And well, I'm not sure if you ever had this kind of insecurity or fear that pops up when you're starting a new job.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was out walking the other day and I had this visceral, like, oh yeah, I remember that kind of pit dropping out of my stomach, driving to that job, just feeling like I didn't belong.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't belong in this big company, didn't feel like I knew anyone.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I kind of juked somebody and got the job.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And while I was driving to that job, I just felt my heart racing because I had a presentation that day, a training presentation for a larger group of people that were learning some software.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the reasons I was hired is well, because hey, you're really good with people.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: You can train and present.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I agreed with them during the interview, but while I was driving to that job, I just felt that kind of pit of my stomach uh flopping and just, you know, having fear and doubt just kind of right in the middle of my stomach.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I really was convinced while I was having a long drive, waiting on the on the on the Edens to get to the job, convinced that somebody was gonna raise their hand and ask one of the leaders, who the hell is this guy?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Why is he training us?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: The thing is, I've always felt at home on stage or playing music.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I remember as a young man, I was even in plays and musicals and singing in front of my grade school and high school mates.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I know I got made fun of a lot.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: I got called a lot of names.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth was, I was also an athlete.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: I loved playing basketball and football and performing in that way as well.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I loved moving my body and connecting with my team.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, in many ways, outwardly I had all those presenting skills and that quote unquote confidence.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: But while I was driving to this job, I just remember that desperate feeling.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like if I could get out of any of this, I would.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: But I needed the paycheck, I needed the work, I needed to show up, and I went and did it anyways.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I really had that fear that I was going to get called out, that I was not worthy of that job or that project.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And fast-forwarding five, 10 years, I had another good job as I moved to the town I'm currently in.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: I had a young family at that time.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I had even more people looking up to me and depending on me for some training and some technical documentation.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: But I really still struggled.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: My life was going in the right direction.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And again, from the outside, I felt like I had all the things that I wanted: a good job, a good relationship, healthy family, a wonderful home.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: But inside, I was really, really struggling.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: From the outside, it was a life that was going right.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it looked great.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: But there was that split.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I had this intense anxiety, probably seven or eight out of ten days.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: I would start projects at work.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: I would even start projects at home, have really great intentions, and I'd struggle to finish them.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Whether they were creative projects like learning some music on the guitar or doing things around the house.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: I remember how my mind would just flutter and move quickly.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: I would start something, and within 10, 20 minutes, I would be doing something else.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would kind of bury myself in feeling lost in my life, feeling like I had no presence to give anybody.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I kind of wonder as I say this out loud and kind of open up and be a little bit vulnerable, how many of you have this feeling of being fine or have all those external appearances from the outside of doing well?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: But inside, if you slow down and kind of look at your mind and your consciousness, you feel like you're struggling.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is something that nobody really knows.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: We don't learn it in leadership courses.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: We really don't address them in productivity books and self-help books.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the teams and the technical teams that I've been on and helped lead and the things that I've helped build, or even the bands I've played in and the creative projects I've done.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Teams and people and groups, they really don't have the words or the language or the space to say it out loud.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm struggling.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really struggling.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to reflect back, like I did not have that either.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know that I was, and in a fact, I buried it and pushed it down.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: And while I might have had spiritual practices or tried to learn and read and grow in some ways, in other ways, I was quiet and desperate and numbing out.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think our culture rewards the performance, the presentation, those external things that we have, the cars, the houses, the appearance, how we see it all over in social media.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, we can get jealous of people who are on vacation after we see the tenth picture, or somebody who bought a new house, or somebody who's succeeding in that outward way.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: But it's really hard to slow down and say to ourselves and to those people we care about, and our friends and family that, hey, I'm struggling.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I think our culture and the work and the community we find ourselves in can even punish us for saying that out loud.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: We might read about vulnerability, we might hear that it's a pathway towards improvement.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: We might even go to seminars or book or take read books or take courses.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: We might even hear at work, hey, fail in order to progress.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: But more often than not, I found that gets punished.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the turnaround here, as I talk through it, isn't really about getting more theory or taking another course or getting another certification.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Those things do help.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: They help us learn.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: But underneath it all, I believe my growth and my evolution started with what was noticing, what was happening in me.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's an uncomfortable truth that a lot of us will just walk by and forget or think that it's just pretty and sounds good, but we don't slow down to notice what's happening in our body and our mind.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: In a sense, we were never invited in with that, with a teacher, with a mentor, and our managers, or our family, or our partner.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: But for me, it was a small group of meditators and people that practiced quietude and silence.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: They helped me hold it and see it.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: And they really showed me how to work from that place of not needing to fix it all the time.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is a truth.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Awareness comes first.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Awareness comes first.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that is self-awareness.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's also awareness of what is going on in our physical and mental arenas.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's awareness about our environment, those people around us, the family, the friends, the community, the work group, the team.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Honesty and forthrightness and growth can only happen when awareness is online.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it isn't something, it isn't a flip, a switch you flip, and it stays on.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Awareness is something we need to strengthen and grow and develop and train with.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: And really, that's the offer.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's the thing I wanted to talk about as I get to the end.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: For the last 15 years, I've been learning and working on awareness, self-awareness, learning to accept myself, in a sense, learning to fiercely encourage myself towards addressing those parts of me that are struggling.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of pushing it down or avoiding it, which I'm really good at.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of doing that, practicing being present with it, practicing being comfortable, getting uncomfortable with that.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I offer.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, this is the inaugural eight-week awareness lab that's coming out.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Not sure when you're listening to this, but I believe a small group in a short amount of time with authentic, real connection and practice changes people's lives.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is a group place where we can come together and practice awareness and learn about it and get coaching in a small setting.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to invite you in.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Check out the show notes below if you're interested in learning more.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll leave you with one thing that I brought up in a recent presentation and meetup I shared.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it's this I call it the awareness audit.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: So wherever you're at right now, and if you're driving and walking, obviously be wise.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I would ask you to slow down in this moment and take a couple conscious breaths as you just relax your nervous system.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: And as you do so, I want your awareness and your mindfulness and your attention to focus on the breath that comes in and out and feel it.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: As you practice there, I want you to count each breath in and out as one, and the next one is two, and the next one is three.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: As you work with that, check and audit when your mind starts to wander with planning or remembering, or even judgment about what you're doing or what you're listening to.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's the awareness audit.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Notice how far you can get without your mind being pulled away with planning or remembering or thinking.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Practice after you turn off this podcast and see how far you can get.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: When we know what our awareness and what our focus and our attention is doing, and when we audit and we understand that we don't quite have a solid functioning awareness that can stick to what you what the order you give it is, well, that's a cue that it needs some training.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd love for you to check into the lab and see if that might be something that you might be interested in.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: So practice the awareness audit after you turn this off.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Notice where you're at and come back and check in with me if you're interested in learning more.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, keep it in mind that training your mind and training with your focus and awareness is a great education.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let culture and productivity and those external things pull you in and make you think that that is the only value in life.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: A calm, trained, presentful mind is really a rich way to live.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening in.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you got something out of this.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Please write back.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know how it landed.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, take care of yourself, keep training that awareness, and we'll see you next time or hear you next time on the awareness.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, on fierce encouragement.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks again.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Be well.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Bye bye.