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126. How Being Busy is Your Superpower · Burning Brightly

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  You have to look at your list of things that feel important and decide which one of these feels urgent and which one of these is actually in keeping with the values and priorities that are important to me.
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  You start asking, "Does this actually help me move toward my goals?"
• 0:15
  This is such a valuable question to ask as we head into the holiday season.
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  How many Signup Geniuses am I putting my name on because someone sent me one and I feel like I should?
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  How many obligations am I saying yes to because everyone else is?
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  Sometimes we allow ourselves to spend months, preparing to build a business instead of just doing the few things that will actually help you get clients and start making a difference in people's lives.
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  If you're a Latter-day Saint or another woman of faith feeling called to build a business, welcome.
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  I'm Bonnie Wiscombe, and each week we'll combine faith and practical business strategy to help you answer that calling with confidence.
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  This is Burning Brightly.
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  People often ask me how I manage to do, quote unquote, all the things, and today I'm gonna tell you how.
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  But I also want to challenge an idea you might have that I hear a lot from my clients, and that is that they are already too busy to build a business, and insinuating that being busy is inherently bad,
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  that the goal should always be to have more free time.
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  Now, I am absolutely a fan of free time and slowing down and simplifying.
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  I just did some content about this a while ago, and I absolutely do not want any of us running around like chickens with their heads cut off.
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  So if you are feeling consistently overwhelmed and busier than you wanna be, go back to episode 41, where I talk about how to stop choosing a life that is busier than you like.
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  But I think sometimes we swing so far to the other side or because of our modern conveniences, we have lots more free time than our ancestors, then sometimes we forget something important, and that is this: being busy can
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  actually be a superpower.
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  The most successful women I know often have very, very full lives.
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  They are mothers, raising families, building businesses or working, serving others, pursuing goals, writing books, training for marathons, doing things that matter to them, not to just be busy or because they think they should, but because they want to
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  have an intentional life.
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  They value free time, and hopefully they make time to rest, but they are actively trying to build a life that they love.
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  And when we learn to manage a full life intentionally, it can also make us a better entrepreneur, and today we're gonna talk about why Okay, the first reason being busy makes you a better entrepreneur is that a full
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  life forces you to make choices Have you ever had a free day where there was nothing on your calendar?
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  What did you get done that day?
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  Probably a whole lot of nothing.
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  Now, sometimes I choose to structure a day in a way where there's not a lot required of me so that I can spend it relaxing, spending time with family, or maybe on a vacation or something.
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  But in my regular day-to-day life, when I have unlimited time or even a large chunk of time without any obligations in it, it is so easy to waste, especially in my business.
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  I can spend three hours tweaking something on my website that did not need tweaking, or spend an entire day working on something that actually doesn't move my business forward at all.
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  It just maybe makes it prettier or makes me feel like I'm being busy.
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  When you have children at home or other family responsibilities, maybe you're caring for an elderly parent or church commitments or community obligations, you do not have unlimited time.
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  You have to make intentional decisions about what is worth doing and what needs to be left undone.
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  You have to look at your list of priorities or things that feel important and decide which one of these feels urgent and which one of these is actually important and in keeping with the values and priorities that are
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  important to me.
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  You start asking, "Does this actually help me move toward my goals?"
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  And those could be anything, business goals, getting, healthier, being more in tune with the Spirit, spending more time with your family.
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  Is it pushing me in a direction that I want to go or am I just doing it because I think I should, because I, I'm supposed to?
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  This is such a valuable question to ask as we head into the holiday season.
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  How many Signup Geniuses am I putting my name on because someone sent me one and I feel like I should?
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  How many obligations am I saying yes to because everyone else is?
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  Or how many things am I saying yes to and then resenting because I don't really feel like it is making me the person that I want to be?
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  This is especially important for those of you who are on the newer side of building your business.
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  Sometimes we allow ourselves to spend months, even years I've seen happen, preparing to build a business instead of just doing the few things that will actually help you get clients and start making a difference in people's lives.
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  So when you think you need more time to build your business, I would gently push back and say, instead, you need to get very clear on how to use the time you already have.
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  We all have time in our schedules, whether we think so or not.
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  How do we know this is true?
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  Because if my kid got sick and ended up in the hospital, I would find a way to be at that hospital all day long with my child.
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  If my mom was in a car accident and needed care in her home, I would find a way to get in her home and help out, There are some things that matter more than others And we make time
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  for those.
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  So if we're not making time for our business, we need to ask why.
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  Why is it not a priority?
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  Is it true that everything else in our life is more important than this business?
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  If so, then maybe it's not the season for business, and that's okay.
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  But if you feel compelled to build your business, you feel inspired to do it, you feel like you're being called to do it, then there's gonna have to be some trade-offs, which brings us to the next section.
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  Spoiler alert, my friends, this might shock some of you, I actually don't do it all.
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  I choose what matters most, sometimes.
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  Sometimes I choose Netflix, and that to me in the moment is what matters most, instead of doing laundry or something.
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  But building a life you love requires intentional trade-offs.
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  You cannot do everything perfectly.
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  You can't even do most things perfectly.
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  I mean, let's be honest, most of us probably can't do anything perfectly.
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  I'm just aiming for B-minus in most of the areas in my life.
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  So when people tell me this, "Oh, I don't know how you do it all," I just laugh because I don't.
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  No one does.
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  You might just see the things that I do well and think, "Oh, I wish I could do that thing well," not seeing the things that I've chosen not to do, and I've talked about this a lot before on
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  the podcast.
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  There is always laundry and sitting in baskets.
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  One time I mentioned to my friend how I did my laundry system, and she looked at me with big, wide eyes and said, "That would drive me crazy."
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  And I said, "Yep, it sure could."
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  I've chosen not to let it drive me crazy because I will not spend every last spare minute of my life putting laundry away.
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  That's not important to me.
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  I would rather have clean laundry in baskets where my kids can dig through and build a business that serves other people.
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  Some people might be able to do both, but not me with the amount of children I have and the other obligations on my plate, Often, I serve cereal for dinner.
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  Is it healthy?
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  Not in the least.
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  Is it going to help my children grow strong?
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  No.
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  But sometimes that's the choice I've made in order to finish a work project or help out with something I'm doing in my calling at church.
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  I have said no to projects that I would have loved to do because something else was more of a priority for me.
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  So it's so easy for us to look on Instagram and look in other people's windows and only see the things that they are doing very well, not the things they've decided not to do.
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  Because in the end, remember this, my friends, every yes is also a no.
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  When I say yes to a client or a new business project, I am saying no to something else.
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  That might be cleaning my kitchen or spending more time putting my kids to bed or sleeping more or another commitment.
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  Conversely, when I say yes to spending time with my family, I'm also saying no to something in my business.
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  We're not trying to eliminate trade-offs.
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  That's just life.
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  We're trying to make them on purpose.
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  The goal is to be intentional about them.
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  So I love to think of life like a pendulum Like those fun little desk toys where the balls swing back and forth and back and forth, or even a metronome, an old-fashioned metronome.
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  Sometimes it swings toward the business side, and I spend a lot of time on a project.
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  Sometimes it swings toward my family and someone is sick or when they need more of my time and energy.
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  During a launch or a big business project, for example, business is gonna get more of my time and energy, and then I try to swing back the family direction the next week to give them more time and attention
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  so that it feels a little bit more balanced.
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  I cannot give every area of my life equal attention every day, and I don't think that's the goal, but I am trying to be intentional about what gets my attention in each season of life So remember, the goal
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  is not to do it all.
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  It is to choose what matters most right now and just let the rest go.
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  Make peace with the rest The third aspect of how being busy can be a superpower is that A full life can actually create better balance if we choose it.
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  So in addition to thinking of it like a pendulum, I also like to think of a four-part harmony in a choir.
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  All right?
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  When someone sings Only the melody, it's pretty.
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  But when you add three other parts to it, it's beautiful.
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  That's kinda how I like to look at my life.
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  It's not equal, but it is harmonious, or at least I try to make it so.
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  All right?
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  There's no way to give equal time and energy to being a mom, a business owner, your relationship with your spouse or your friends, your own personal goals, your health, your spirituality, all of it, and it's also not necessary.
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  Yay!
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  Congrats.
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  That's exciting to know, right?
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  Some days my kids get more of me, some days my business does.
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  Some weeks I have lots of capacity for personal goals.
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  Last year I ran two big races that I'd been wanting to run for a long time, and this year I have not, because it's not the season for it anymore When your calendar is full, You get to a
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  point where it has to reflect your priorities or else nothing gets done, When my life is full, I actually get to have more of my own priorities on the calendar rather than it being filled with other people's expectations
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  because I have to be very intentional Let me give you an example.
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  This week is the week of Halloween.
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  It's at the end of the week, but why do we end up with 400 parties leading up to Halloween?
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  I do not know.
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  So this week, we have a church party which means my kids all have to be ready for Halloween, I have to bring a chili that I've made, and I also have to help with a booth that the young
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  women are running.
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  Then my children have a school party, which they asked me to volunteer or donate to, and I said no, because I already had the church party I was volunteering at.
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  My children will go to this party, and they will need to be picked up at a different time.
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  It's already gonna be a little bit more stressful on me to make sure that they come home at the right time and decompress from all their fun that day, so I said no to that one.
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  The next day, my daughter has a big event for her pom team that I have also volunteered for because they requested all moms to be there, which meant I had to say no to a child's football game and
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  another Halloween party that another child wanted to go to.
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  Then on Saturday, Halloween comes, and I have chosen to say no to a few obligations that I had an opportunity to participate in on Halloween because just getting my kids ready, fed, and out the door is enough.
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  So you're seeing how it's a constant back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.
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  Okay, well, on Wednesday, I'm gonna have to get this done for my business so I better make the chili ahead of time, or I can only show up a half an hour ahead of time for the church party
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  to help out.
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  I can't be there two hours ahead, right?
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  We're constantly making these trade-offs, but a full life insists that I make them intentionally.
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  I cannot just allow other people's expectations of me to take over my life Okay, the fourth piece of finding balance in a full life is this.
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  The longer I do this, so build a business around a busy life, full family, the fewer things I care about because I don't have the bandwidth I have gotten very good at deciding what is worth my energy and
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  what is not.
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  And thanks to life coaching, I've gotten very good at not letting it bother me when I've chosen something that is not worth my energy.
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  So let's rewind to 15 years ago, 2011, I had five little kids.
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  I had a very different idea of what success looked like.
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  I cared a lot about having a clean house.
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  I cared a lot about making meals from scratch.
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  I loved to appear like I had it all together, and sometimes I was successful.
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  But over time, my priorities have changed.
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  I would much rather be at peace with my own conscience than worry about other people thinking that I'm doing it all right.
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  I would much rather connect with my family than control the things that are too hard to control, like whether or not my kid's room is cleaned up.
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  I would much rather say yes to something that God is calling me to than live the life that my extended family is proud of, right?
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  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say I don't care about other people or things outside of me, but I care the most about the priorities that I have intentionally chosen And some things that used to
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  be really urgent for me barely register on my radar right now.
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  Like I said, folding and put- putting away laundry.
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  Nope, don't do it.
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  I do my own.
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  I don't do my husband's.
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  Okay, I do my five-year-old's sometimes if I can't make another kid do it.
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  I rarely make meals from scratch.
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  This is one that I really wish I had more time for, but I don't, and I actually don't love it, so I'm kind of okay with buying more things pre-made.
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  I no longer post on social media except for occasionally as my business requires, because it was robbing my joy It made it very tempting for me to compare myself with others, and so I let it go.
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  Or worrying about how my kids look.
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  The other day, I just randomly grabbed a T-shirt and pants for my five-year-old and put her in a leopard print top and striped pants.
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  No, they were not the same colorway.
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  She looked homeless, and I just don't care.
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  Gone are the days of searching through the Baby Gap sale rack so that I can dress my kids uber cute.
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  It's just not important to me anymore, and frankly, it's not important to them So that's how it works in motherhood, how I stopped caring about things that used to be important in motherhood.
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  In business, it also looks like caring less about how successful I appear.
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  I tell you guys all the time all my failures and the things that don't work out.
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  It has taken me way longer to make money than I wish it would have But I do love the impact I can make, and I'm gonna tell you guys as honestly as I can that it can be hard
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  and also exhilarating to build a business.
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  I'm not about trying to pull the wool over anyone's eyes or make them think that I'm more successful than I am So you might wanna ask yourself this question: How much of what I do is trying to prove
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  to myself or my mother-in-law or someone else that I'm capable and productive and impressive, or maybe just prove to myself?
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  Eventually, I hope we all discover that we don't need to prove anything.
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  We just need to honor and be faithful to the things that matter to us and to God.
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  So the point isn't necessarily to stop caring, It's to care deeply about the right things.
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  Do I think there's anything less valuable about me because I don't care how the laundry is put away?
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  No way.
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  I have now been able to invest my time in things that matter so much more.
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  My kids and I are never gonna remember how much the laundry was put away, but I got to write a book, and I got to coach a bunch of people this year, and I got to homeschool my kids
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  and do all these things that mattered so much more to me.
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  Now, let me just say here, if putting the laundry away matters deeply to you, then please do it.
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  This is not a list of what you should and shouldn't care about.
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  There are some things in my house that really matter to me, and so I make sure those are a priority All right, now let's dive in a little bit deeper on how being busy can make you a better
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  entrepreneur, okay?
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  When you have a full life, you develop skills that directly help you build the business.
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  This is why I love coaching moms as entrepreneurs, because we are innately good at taking a very full life and just making it work.
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  All right, first way that having a full life makes you a better business owner.
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  You learn to take action, and quick.
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  You do not have time to spend forever thinking about a decision.
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  You have to take action.
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  You make a reasonable choice, you move forward, and then you decide if it was the right choice with the data that you're given The second way it helps you in your business, you learn to let go of perfectionism.
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  Sometimes good enough really is good enough, and getting something done matters way more than making it look perfect.
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  The third way, you learn to focus.
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  When I have an hour to work, guess what I do?
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  I work.
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  I might scroll for about three minutes, and then I go, "All right, Bonnie, get to work," because I don't have three hours to waste.
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  I have one.
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  You have to decide what deserves that hour very quickly.
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  Fourth way a full life helps with your business is you learn to build systems.
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  I cannot do everything manually.
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  I can't remember everything.
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  I can't reinvent every process every time I have to do it.
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  I have to have SOPs, standard operating procedures, that I go back to.
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  I have to have checklists.
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  I have to have reminders.
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  There are lots of systems that keep me accountable and running smoothly Fifth way that your full life helps your business is you learn to be resourceful.
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  You figure out how to make progress with the time, the tools, the limited money, and support that you actually have, If we have all the time in the world and all the money and all the help, we might
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  not actually be as scrappy as we become as solopreneurs, right?
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  Becoming resourceful and a good troubleshooter has been such a valuable tool for me.
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  These are all entrepreneurial skills that you need to learn, and if you wait till you have all the time in the world and your kids are older or your home is organized or life gets easier, you might not
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  actually develop some of these incredible skills.
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  But here's an important caveat: being busy alone does not make you productive.
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  You can be incredibly busy doing the wrong things, the things that don't actually move your goals forward and fill every spare moment because you don't wanna slow down.
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  That's what I talked about in episode one twenty-one.
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  Go back to that one if you need a reminder of how to slow down.
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  I do see that tendency in myself often.
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  Sometimes I will choose another productive activity when what I really need to do is just rest or enjoy something that doesn't have an outcome.
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  So the superpower isn't to be constantly occupied, it's to learn how to use your time intentionally, make good decisions, and keep moving towards what matters most for you the whole point of our business is to build a life
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  that we love.
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  Not a business that looks successful, not a home that looks perfect, but a life that we love.
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  Now, in that life I love, I wanna have a house that's relatively organized and decluttered.
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  I wanna have a business that is successful and makes money.
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  I wanna have a family that loves to be around each other.
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  So because those are important values to me, the things I fill my days with hopefully move me closer to those things.
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  When we start a business, it's very easy to just gradually build your entire life around it, and that's not what we're trying to do.
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  We don't wanna try to prove that it can work, and prove we're good enough and, and prove that we can grow it.
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  We just want to build the life that we are looking for.
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  So do you know what that looks like?
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  If it's been a while since you sat down and wrote down your five-year vision or 10-year vision, I highly recommend you do this.
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  It is a very, very fun experience, a really fun exercise that can help you get very clear on where you're actually going, and then you can ask yourself, "Does what I do in my day-to-day actually move me towards
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  this?
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  How much time am I spending on mindless entertainment?"
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  Now, don't get me wrong, there's a time and place for mindless entertainment.
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  But how much time am I wasting on it when I could be writing that book I always wanted to write, or learning to run because I wanna do that marathon Sometimes our life gets away from us really quickly,
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  and before we know it, we're chasing goals that might not even align with what we care about.
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  So be honest with yourself about what you want and whether or not the things you're filling your days with are getting you there.
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  So are you building this business because you want to serve people, contribute financially to your household, use your talents, or answer a calling from God?
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  Awesome.
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  Are you trying to just prove something to yourself or to others?
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  Hmm, Maybe that's not such a clean reason.
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  And the reason we wanna get clear on our reasons is because they will help us decide what we're willing to sacrifice, If my reasons are great, like answering a calling from God, there's a lot I'm willing to sacrifice.
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  If it's just so that I can contribute a little financially to my household, then maybe when the going gets tough, I might choose to just get a job, and that's okay too.
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  But getting very clear on my reasons behind those priorities is essential So you can build a successful thriving business without doing everything at once and without giving up things that matter to you.
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  Just start small.
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  Start with a few things, but you're gonna have to fight for some space in your life.
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  A lot of clients will come to me and say, "Oh, I just ran out of time this week," which is valid.
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  It's very easy to run out of time when we don't prioritize it.
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  But when we give ourselves an hour or two, and we sit down and we force ourselves to work, then the space opens up because we gain momentum, we gain motivation, we get excited about building this business that's gonna
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  serve people and make us money, and then we want to make more room for it.
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  Think about a habit or a hobby that you have developed that maybe you didn't used to have.
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  For me, it's regular exercise.
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  I wasn't always a regular exerciser, but I love it now, and it's something I've added into my life that really helps with my mental and physical health.
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  So when my days get busy, I start throwing elbows, making room for that exercise.
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  In fact, I'm on my third day this week of no exercise, and I'm thinking, "Hmm, after this activity tonight, can I go to the gym?"
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  Because I miss it, I start to get really creative with how I can fit it into my day because it is such a priority, and the same thing will happen with your business if you start small so look
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  at your five, 10-year vision, look at your calendar and see if they align.
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  Is it filled with other people's priorities or obligations that you said yes to out of guilt, things you think you should do, or is it full of things that matter and are getting you closer to the life you
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  wanna lead?
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  My friends, you do not have to wait till your life slows down to build a business you love.
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  In fact, if I waited until my kids were gone, I don't think I would do it.
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  I think I would just sit around and do puzzles all day long.
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  Instead, I have chosen to build a business in the middle of crazy motherhood, family obligations, church service, everything else that fills up my life because it matters to me.
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  You can be present with your family and also ambitious.
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  You can find time to rest and work hard, and there can be seasons where your business gets more time, and then seasons where your family gets more time.
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  It's all part of life.
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  I really believe that God designed the Earth and our bodies cyclically, right?
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  We have seasons of rest and work and sleep and wakefulness, and it's all natural and normal.
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  The trick is just to keep moving forward and making sure we're making time for the things that matter.
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  Remember, being busy is not the goal.
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  Building a life we love is the goal, and when we're intentional about how we fill our days, that busyness ends up becoming a superpower All right, my friends, I'll talk to you next week If today's episode encouraged you,
• 22:07
  my book, Burning Brightly, is the next step to answering God's call to build a business through faith and confidence.
• 22:12
  Grab your copy and the free companion workbook through the link in the show notes.
• 22:17
  The world needs more women willing to burn a little brighter.