Latest / She's Next Level / 56: Clearing Recurring Soul Lessons In Relationships, Business, & Finances (Exclusive Interview)

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56: Clearing Recurring Soul Lessons In Relationships, Business, & Finances (Exclusive Interview) · She's Next Level

• Gabby Witt: Hello friends and welcome back to the Lens of Abundance podcast. I'm your host, Gabby, intuitive healer and money coach. And I have the best, one of the most incredible friends, beautiful souls, Darsh, online with me today. We're gonna be interviewing her, going back and forth, just asking each other questions on something I know that you guys have probably just either noticed or struggled with as well. And it's all around this topic of how we all learn lessons in different ways. Have you ever had friends who maybe they learn their lessons through having big financial struggles, or maybe they learn their lessons through constantly going through breakups, or maybe they learn their lessons through having massive health things or big job things that are just happening and going on, and it's super stressful and annoying. We all have different ways in which we learn lessons. And this whole entire episode, we're gonna be diving into what that looks like for Darsh, what that looks like for me, and the core root. of what we need to be learning from our lessons so that we can actually learn from them, heal them, and grow. What's gonna get us to our goals the fastest? This is how we're kind of dissecting this episode. So Darish, would you like to introduce yourself? Darshna Patel: It's so funny because every time I'm asked, like, introduce yourself, I'm like, I am so many different things. Like, how do I even explain it? But I'm also an intuitive healer like Gabby. And I help women essentially just look their best, feel their best, and just be more happier in their life. A lot of my work is around unconditional self-love and self-prodigization. And a lot of my lessons come from business and finances. So That's something that you've been struggling with as well. I know that we have a lot of ambitious people on your podcast, on my podcast. So that's something that I'm gonna be talking more about and some of the things that I've noticed when it comes to soul lessons. I remember having this conversation with you because we were both kind of like going back and forth around like what you're navigating, relationships and what I'm navigating. And I remember like being curious about like. You because I'm like, for me, relationships are like the last thing on my mind. Like, and I it's so crazy because a lot of people value relationships, Gabby Witt: Okay. Darshna Patel: but a lot of people also value finances and business. Like those are always the top like health finances and relationships were always the top values for people. But for me, I would actually say that in my whole life, actually, like finance relationships have always been. The lowest value. It's always been money and business. Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: So I find it really interesting that you're learning lessons through like relationships, because in my mind, for me, I'm like, how can you even be prioritizing like, you know, men or friends? Which is nothing wrong with that. Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: But in my mind, what goes in my mind is like, How are you prioritizing those things when like money's the thing that like gives you everything that you need and like for yourself? So it's just really interesting because I was like, you can't how do you prioritize dick over money? I can't put two and two together. Gabby Witt: No, it is so true. And I think the other piece to this too, guys, is so many of us are gonna go through different seasons, right? So I have heavily been through the financial trenches, the soul pool career trenches, the Airbnb trenches where I am doing literally everything all the time and just money has always been my focus. And then obviously, as I announced on the podcast last week. I'm going through a divorce, I'm getting divorced, all of those things. And as soon as I started that process, basically everything shifted. I had already gotten a lot of my finances in order. Certain things were happening financially. I'm like working on shifting, but basically ended up meeting some people. And like Darsh said, learning lessons through other people, learning lessons through just meeting. other people and it's such an interesting experience because I used to super go through it with money and who's not to say like we always might go through it in the future. But I do find it interesting because hasn't it always been this way for you, Darsh? Like it's always career or always finances. Darshna Patel: Yeah, I I can rem and and relationships have been a pain point for me too. Like there's a lot of lessons that I've had to learn with relationships, and I'm sure at some point it's gonna be that for me as well. But I will say that knowing what I know now about money and what I'm learning about money, what I'm learning about business and my purpose and what we're here to do as souls is I don't ever think that relationships now is ever going to top. like money or my career or my purpose. I think at least Gabby Witt: my god. Darshna Patel: for me, there may be a time where I may need to prioritize relationships for a certain reason or a certain thing, but I don't ever think that it's going to always be the top of my mind of like, I need to make sure that this area of life is always like great and it's like I'm putting more time into this area because my purpose is a lot bigger for me than relationships because At the end of the day, even in business, like we are helping people. We are interacting. We're great, getting that emotional connection just in a different way with people. So for me, I always think like business is a win-win because you get that with women. Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: And there's no other type of emotional connection than you ever have with women. I know there's a different type of emotional connection with a man, but you there's nothing bigger than like being in your purpose and being lit up. by like what you do for you and then everybody else just gets to be like the receiving end of like extras, I guess you could say. Like you're just extra. Gabby Witt: Dorge, I'm actually so, I'm so happy you brought this up because now all of a sudden all the questions and all the thoughts are coming in, but and I'm so excited to share and just ask you. But the first question I have for you is what are the biggest top soul lessons that keep coming up through finances and your soul pool career that just keep coming up that you're trying to learn through receiving those lessons through that way? Darshna Patel: I think the biggest one is knowing your unique value. And I don't mean any type of value. Like it's easy for us to think that, like, yeah, she's smart. Well, so am I. You know, it's more going into like, how am I so unique and different than everybody else? And why am I the best of the best? Because, you know, I've had a lot of success with my businesses. I've had this entrepreneurial path and journey. And I've still had to continue asking myself, like, How is this valuable enough and what I'm giving? And what I bring to the table is a lot more than like what people even offer because I do care about people getting results and I do care about people growing and getting the maximum that they can because I think that way. Whenever I'm investing into anything or anyone, I'm thinking long term and I'm thinking like, how can I get the most out of this? So because I think that way, I'm obviously feeling that way with the things that I give. But the biggest lesson that I've also had to learn is that I don't need to prove and I don't need to like put so much work in and work so hard and prove my value for me to also be able to receive that kind of money because that is the exchange year, right? When it comes to business, it's the financial exchange is the exchange that you're receiving. You know, with relationships, it's different. It's love, it's all of those things. But with this, it's like there is money on the line and money is measurable. Gabby Witt: Okay. Darshna Patel: It's like it's like someone can value something at a certain price where someone else can value the same thing at a different, like maybe a lower price or another price. It's it's measurable. And because it's measurable, I feel like that's what's fucked me up a little bit with feeling good enough, feeling like I'm valuable enough Gabby Witt: Mm. Darshna Patel: because I know it's all measurable. So then I find myself asking myself, is it enough? Like how do I know it's enough? And that has been the biggest thing that has caused me to, you know, question my value. I think that's probably the biggest first step for a lot of people and what they should explore is figuring out like what is their unique value. And sometimes the things that we do naturally is the thing that is like our biggest value, our unique value, but we don't see it because it's so natural. There's so many times where I'm trying to prove to my brain that like Gabby Witt: Yes. Darshna Patel: this is unique. This is like Me and this is the only thing you can get from me. This is the best of the best. And my brain's like, Yeah, no big deal. And I'm like, Bro, like, we need to get on board. Gabby Witt: This No, absolutely, Darsh. No, that's so true. And I feel like connecting to your value and it's it goes back to right, the feeling special. That is such a big core piece, like knowing that you're new unique, knowing that you're valuable, knowing that you're special. I think that is the key piece that determines where our lessons literally come from. Because even through just to give you guys a synopsis, Darsh is learning through career. Soapful career finances. And currently I'm learning through again relationships. And again, going through a divorce, I'm not in another relationship, but there is someone that I'm talking to. And I just it's it's one of those things where like I can a hundred percent tell that I'm supposed to be doing this experience because it's showing me how not special I feel in certain different ways. And to your point, Dorsh, it's actually insane because it that that's what impacted my money last month when I had this whole Blow up with Airbnb, it's because I was being distracted and not putting myself first, not prioritizing myself, and I was putting some someone else ahead of me. And as soon as I shifted that, I literally all I had to ask myself was, how is this person making me feel? Making me feel special, making me feel worthy, making me feel unique. And I'm like, okay, great. Where in what areas of life am I not feeling that way myself? Got the tools to shift it, started prioritizing myself better. All of a sudden my money started. Getting better, the Airbnb stuff ironed out and everything kind of went back to normal. But it's only because I started to ask myself, what is this trying to teach me? How am I feeling from this? And then giving it to myself. So it's like to your point, even if people aren't learning their lessons through money, if you're learning your lessons through relationships or like through career, whatever it is, it will come back and affect your money. It will. Especially if money is something that you care about. And obviously, if you're listening to this podcast. Who doesn't care about money? I've only met probably a few people ever who don't. Your money will always be impacted in one way, shape, or form. So if your money is taking a hit, chances are it's because you are not feeling special. You're not learning the lessons that you were supposed to be learning. And like Dar said, feeling valuable. Like that's such a key piece. Darshna Patel: Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny because speaking of like your money being blocked, I actually did this exercise earlier today where I learned to like figure out like, you know, how we always talk about like if you have an issue happening, an obstacle in one area of life, let's say it's finances, it's never c from finances, it's coming from another area of life. This is the law of reflections that we talk about often. And so it's really interesting because I used my intuition to see like, okay, what area of life is the origin of what is blocking my wealth flow from coming in the most? And I was surprised, it was so loud and clear that it was family area of life for me. And I have been even like working on healing my relationship with my family for so many years, like since I did ayahuasca, which was like back in 2024. And it's so much better than it used to be. But because my soul wants to master unconditional self-love and you know, those those same feelings and things that you're talking about could be applied over there. And now I have a way of figuring out, like, okay, this is what's causing the block of financial flow or like the block of clients coming to my business, Gabby Witt: Yes. Darshna Patel: or me not even feeling lit up, but to create in my business. Like, We have to look at things outside of the area of life that we're thinking that there's a problem in. Cause it's the universe has to be in that balance. We have to be in that emotional balance as well to see things clearly. Gabby Witt: No, absolutely. And the cool thing about that too is once you start working, like let's you're exper let's say you're experiencing your money issue and it's coming up in family, you're gonna get tools using intuition to fix your family area of life. And then it's like both area of life just get better. Your finances increase, your family relationship gets better, like all over the board, it gets better. So Darshna Patel: Yeah. Gabby Witt: literally just asking yourself where your problems are coming up the most right now. And then like Dar said, okay, great. What are other areas of life that are making me feel similar? Like what could this possibly be teaching me and pointing to that I'm not addressing? And that likely leads to your lessons. But Darshna Patel: Yeah. What about you with relationships? Like what has been the biggest obstacle that you've noticed within yourself that you're doing to yourself that shows up for relationships? Gabby Witt: Mm. Darshna Patel: And why are relationships so important for you? Gabby Witt: Such a good question. the biggest thing for me is like a fear of being alone. That is one that I've been heavily working on. It's like there's just I don't know what it is. It's like this deep thing inside of me. I'm a triple cancer in astrology, so maybe that's it. Like we're supposed to like love family and be community-wise. I'm like very attached to my people. So my friends, I love hard and it's I I love my people, I love relationships. I've always been I've basically always been in a relationship to be honest. This is my first time not being, and I'm yet I'm still talking to someone, but who like whatever. Anyways, I've just always been that person who has a relationship, who has friends, and I think it comes from the biggest block is fear of being alone, also lack of self-trust. And the other piece to that, which goes back to your thing, Darsh, it's literally just not feeling special in career area of life. I feel like that was like the big piece because like comparing myself to other people or all those things. I've gotten so much better at, but there is still that little piece that it's like feeling like I can't create my ideas into the world fully yet. And that's the piece that it's like I learn lessons through relationships because people will show me immediately what I'm feeling about myself. Like if the person that I'm talking to is treating me so well on a weekend and then the next day they like don't say anything to me at all, I'm immediately being like feeling a type of way. And instantly I'm using my intuition to be like, okay, how is this making me feel? I'm not feeling loved. I'm not feeling prioritized. Okay, great. Where else am I not prioritizing myself? I'm not feeling loved because I was shitting on my intuition yesterday, or I'm not feeling loved because I didn't I wasn't doing XYZ. It's it always comes back to ourselves. And really my thing is like a a deep, deep fear of being alone. So that's that's one that I'm working on. And then like the feeling special within myself and just giving to myself what I need from what I feel like I want from relationships. That's the ultimate goal. The the thing, and Dart, I would love for you to talk on this. The thing that I love about you most, and like my friend Nikki also has like a similar quality, it's different, but like similar, is your ability to be alone. Like your ability to thrive, your ability to just be in such self-love. You don't need external validation. You don't need people hyping you up. You don't need a man. You don't need a partner. You are just able to be fully content, fully expressed on your own. And that's that's my goal. I know that's where I'm heading. I'm sure I'll get way closer to there in the next few months. And then I'll be fully single, not talking to anybody. But it's it's one of those things where if I'm not used to it, it feels scary. So I would love for you to talk on the benefits of being alone and why it's literally the best thing ever, not anything to be scared of. Darshna Patel: Yeah, it's interesting because like I will say like how you have a fear of being alone. I've and I've had this come up in an intuitive read like years ago. Which I can see it now still like playing out as I've been working through a lot of different things because there's so many aspects to unconditional love that we're not aware of. So it's like, but ultimately for me, it's the fear of being unknown has been my biggest fear and my biggest thing of like I've done everything that I could. I've like put myself out there and I'm still like not known for who I am. I'm still not loved for who I am. I still don't have that kind of success. That has been my biggest fear and my biggest thing. And I can say, like, from a relationships perspective, when it comes to like the fear of being alone, I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I've had like situationships in the past. I've had like behaviors and ways of like, you know, not prioritizing myself and certain things that maybe you might be experiencing with prioritizing men over you and all of those things. so the biggest reason why a lot of people are afraid of being alone, in my opinion, is because they are afraid of being honest with themselves about what they're feeling, about meeting themselves, of like who who do I think I am versus who I'm actually am. There's so many times where I've like, you know, Gabby Witt: Yes. Darshna Patel: wanted to, for example, I wanted to go to a Chris Brown concert with my friend in August this year, and I fucking love Chris Brown. Like growing up, Chris Brown, Rihanna, like I've always been into hip hop and RB and pop and all that. And I remember using my intuition to see if I should go and I gotta know. And I was so devastated because I was like, damn, the things that I used to love that I wanted to do, it just doesn't feel like it's in alignment anymore. I mean, even listening to music nowadays, I literally just started listening to classical music as a way to like just help me relax and like chill. And like I actually started enjoying it. But I don't even feel drawn to like mainstream music anymore. And I'm like, what the fuck is happening to me? Like, why am I being this way? Right. But instead of me even judging myself for the things that I used to like and I think that I wanted, I'm exploring the new. I'm allowing myself to be okay with like what else is there about me that that is unfolding. So I think like the reason why people are afraid to be by themselves is because they don't think that they're good enough to be chosen. And it's because they don't think they're good Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: enough as who they are, because they don't like themselves. They don't like the things that they like Gabby Witt: Mm. Darshna Patel: about themselves that they want to. You know, they haven't gone deep with themselves yet to be like, I'm gonna have to actually be with myself to in order for me to get to know who I am. And that's what I want, anyways. So there's a reason why, like I would say, and I would say like it's not all rainbows and roses and being by yourself. I've had moments where I would feel like I'm victimizing myself or like feel sorry for me because I have to be by myself and no one fucking my all my friends are all over the world and like I don't have people to hang out with. I used to feel Gabby Witt: Ha ha ha. Darshna Patel: that way before, and especially when my parents left last year, like for two months they go every year. And I literally have the house to myself. I spend the whole day by myself. Like since 2021, I've been spending a lot of time with myself with no friends out here. I have one friend out here in the bay that I'm actually like I like Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: because I I gotta like people, otherwise I'm not hanging out with them. And so but Gabby Witt: Amen. Darshna Patel: like it I have gone to know myself on a deeper level and focus on the things that are important to me. So I think sometimes we use people as a distraction of for the sake of feeling scared Gabby Witt: Yes. Darshna Patel: to be alone versus facing the things that we are avoiding because we feel like we're not good enough to have those things or it's hard for us to do. But I've learned if anything, and even recently a lesson I had to learn around to making a very hard decision in my business and finances that When you do the hard things, everything becomes easier. So always choose the hard things because it becomes easier for you to like Gabby Witt: Yeah, I know so true. Darshna Patel: get to your goals. Gabby Witt: This is gonna sound like such a silly story, but it's it's so aligned with what you just said yesterday for the first time ever. I was so scared to do this, by the way. I was so scared to do this because I was afraid that I was going to not be successful with it. And in my head, if I wasn't successful with it, I was gonna beat myself up so hard. I was gonna feel like the worst intuitive, like all these things. But in my head, basically what I had decided to do was every single intuitive question that I asked, I was going Basically, I decided to intuitively check what percentage my emotions were at, which typically my process is what I do is I just lower my emotions all the way down to zero and I just kind of trust that they're there. But I was, I was too afraid to check back in throughout and just get a percentage. Instead, I would just keep lowering my emotions and lowering my emotions and lowering my emotions out of a lack of self-trust of not believing that they would actually stay. And yesterday for the first time ever, I was like, okay, or two days ago for the first time ever, I was like, okay, every question, just hire yourself, what percentage of our are my emotions at right now? And I shit you not, they were so much lower. It was like four percent, two percent, one percent. And I was just, even if it was high, like let's say eighty percent, I would just bring it down. And every single question, I'm like, it's two percent, it's one percent. Now today, after a couple days of practicing it, I'm like, I can already just tell where my emotions are or at Anytime I'm in the read. And I was so scared to do that because I was afraid that I was never gonna be able to get my emotions down. But essentially what I realized is this whole entire time, my emotions have actually probably been super low. I just thought they were super high from a lack of self-trust, and I was avoiding doing the hard, quote unquote hard thing of just intuitively checking out of fear of what I would think of myself if they weren't. And literally Darshna Patel: Yeah. Gabby Witt: it was so it made intuition so much easier. And that's literally when I I like wrote in my little content idea and I'm like, do the hard thing. So it's just funny that you're literally talking about doing the hard thing because that is what gets you the goals so much faster and we we're scared of it for no reason. Darshna Patel: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, even with someone that's like taken for me, I've taken emotional mastery and I've practiced the tools day in and day out. I can also like feel when my emotions are high. But I can also there's been this interesting sense of like I can also feel like the emotions in my body and still be kind of neutral at the same time and know that like I'm getting the right answer. And like here's the thing is like we want The best of the best Gabby Witt: Mm. Darshna Patel: information when it comes to intuition, right? That's the purpose of getting an intuitive read to get more clarity. But the thing is, we forget that like intuition is just to give you more details about things. And you then get to decide what to do with that information. So something that I started doing myself is I asked my higher self, like, okay, what's the percentage minimum that If we hit this number of like 85% accurate or whatever, we move forward with it. And that helped me and like what percentage of emotions that my emotions need to be for me to move forward. And that's been helping me not continuously like be like, well, that's that's actually been helping me be able to intuit in high pressure situations and still move forward and not like doubt myself Gabby Witt: Thank you. Darshna Patel: in any way. so that's been really cool. But what I will say is for people out Gabby Witt: Thank you. Darshna Patel: there that are like, okay, I know the hard decision route is the best route. Something that I've been considering that's really helping me a lot is also like looking at the worst case scenario and being like, What would I do? Gabby Witt: Yeah, look like Darshna Patel: What's the game plan I would have if that thing happens? How would I still be okay? And that's been really helping me kind of move forward with whatever it is that I'm Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: looking into. So for you. What's the worst case scenario if you end up being alone? Because let's be real. Are you ever technically going to be alone? Because you've cultivated relationships for such a long time, maybe not. Like there's not going to be like zero people in your life because of the law of Phil, which means you can't be without. So there's going to be other people replacing that energy that's already there. And that's a whole Gabby Witt: So just sitting back. Darshna Patel: nother law, a whole nother concept. But I think just understanding those things can help you realize, like, even for me, am I ever gonna be unknown? No, because there are already people out there that know me, that like know of me, right? And like, Gabby Witt: yeah. Darshna Patel: regardless if it's 500,000 people or 10 people, I'm still known for the impact that I make. And even for strangers that don't even know my name and they still remember me. For how I made them feel, or like just, you're I met that girl again last week and I remember her. Gabby Witt: That we're in. Darshna Patel: So I think those are things that our listeners can maybe think about if they've felt that similar way, whether in business and career or relationships, around the fear of being alone. Cause if someone is alone, it means that they're not feeling like they're special. Comes down to feeling special. Ha ha. Gabby Witt: No, and it's so true. And I think that that's the thing that I've been learning a lot through the relationships, if you will. It's this is the other thing, you guys, at least the relationships, I don't know how it applies to like money and career in this context, but it's the people who we are talking to, whether it's a friendship, whether it's a partner, they are just unless you guys have soul contracts, unless they're like a four out of four, like whatever, it they're just vessels for your lessons. And you really have to ask yourself, do I like this person or do I like how they make me feel? And if you're like, well, I like how they make me feel, then asking yourself, okay, like, how is this person making me feel? Like, what is this person doing that makes me feel good? well, they make me feel special, they make me feel this, they make me feel that. Okay, great. Those are all things that let's say they stopped. Let's say their behavior changed and then they stopped making you feel those things. You'd probably get mad. You'd probably be annoyed. You'd probably your love for them, quote unquote, would shift because they would stop giving you the thing that you wanted, which is the lesson they're trying to teach you, by the way. And so even asking yourself that, it's with this friendship, with this person that I'm talking to, do I actually like them? Do I like them as a person? Are they someone who I'd want to learn from? Are they someone who I'd want to be around? Do I like their habits? Do I like their values? Maybe not. we're actually super different. we're actually this, that, and the other. turns out I just like how they make me feel. And as soon as they stop making you feel that, it's very obvious. And so even just asking yourself, how is this person making me feel? And in what ways am I not giving that to myself? Because as soon as you start to give that to yourself, you will no longer feel like you need them to give that to you anymore, if that makes sense. Darshna Patel: Yeah, it's so funny because like with my friendships and stuff, like I love hanging out with my friends, I love people in general, but I get that social like element from strangers outside, like on a random grocery run. And I'm always smiling, I'm always Gabby Witt: Mm-hmm. Darshna Patel: just me. So like I get that emotional connection is the biggest thing that people want in relationships. I get that from the business and the the things that I get to create. Like being in that creative genius, that creativity mode. Like I think that what you just shared with relationships, how that would apply for me and my business when I think about it is feeling, you know, successful, feeling powerful, like creating the things that I want to create. And what what does the business or money give me? It gives me that freedom. It gives me the ability to make Gabby Witt: Mm-hmm. Darshna Patel: a difference in people's lives. But you can literally just give yourself that feeling of like I made an impact in a positive impact in. someone's lives today, if you like interacted with anybody. And even if you didn't interact with a human being that day, let's just say it was just you locked in in the room, just doing your thing, whatever you are working on is creating a positive impact. It's contributing to that. So I think applying this to like business and finances of what you just shared, it that's how I Gabby Witt: Like Darshna Patel: think it would play out. At least that I can think of it of like I get to create something meaningful that helps make a difference in people's lives. And that indirectly makes me feel like I'm important, like I'm special because I'm creating the things in my way, the way I want to. and it comes from that place of desire versus like I've Gabby Witt: Mm-hmm. Darshna Patel: had clients that I've worked on where I felt obligated to do certain things for them because they asked me to when I didn't want to. So that was a lesson for me. You know, I've undercharged myself because I wasn't seeing my value. And so they weren't. There these are the kind of lessons that I've had to be learning. Or like I've had clients that were super needy Gabby Witt: Mm, yes. Darshna Patel: and that needed me. And I didn't want to be felt that, but it was because I wasn't being there for myself the way that I needed. And I think something else that's important is understanding what your needs are. Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: Cause I had to work through this recently actually. You know, working on the business that And I have different elements that I'm going through with it. But I had to make this big decision and I chose the higher self route. I chose the other way, even though it was so hard. And what helped me is I got clear on my needs. And I was like, what are my financial needs? And I need to and I needed to ask my human. I was like, if I Gabby Witt: Mm. Darshna Patel: could met my own needs, right? If I was able to meet my own financial needs after knowing what they are, would I still choose this? It wasn't no one getting the job. It was more around building Gabby Witt: Wow. Darshna Patel: the thing long term that matters. So I think understanding what your needs are, because sometimes we think we need something or we want something, but it may not be a true need, like a true self need. And so if we can just like figure out what our needs are, and it may not always be a feeling. It may be just like I need to do something for myself, and that's what I need for the day. But if we can just give ourselves what we need and get clear on that. then we're not needing it from other people. We're not needing it from the business or the finances because we're already doing the things that we need to do to give it to ourselves. Gabby Witt: Yes. my gosh, darsh. You're so right. And like the other piece to this too is you're obviously doing your business for the right reasons, but I think I don't know about you, but I've definitely been here like four years ago, and I'm sure so many people have been here if you've started businesses. I feel like so many people start businesses for the wrong reasons too, because they will make they think it will make them feel special. Like, I've got the hundred K followers, I've got the this, I'm like a household name, I'm this, I'm that, I'm the other. And then you see people like rise, you might also see people not rise. But let's say people get really successful from building a business from that place. But then if you took it away, if you took all the business away, if they lost all the money, they would feel like such shit about themselves. They would feel not good enough. And that's that's the other piece too, right? Like when we try to build our inside self from outside things, it always crumbles. Darshna Patel: Yeah. Gabby Witt: And so the thing that we can do is literally just asking yourself, what whatever your guys' lessons are, what is it giving me that I feel imbalanced by? Like if I lost it today, why wouldn't I feel okay? Okay, perfect. What are the reasons? Where am I not giving that to myself? And I don't know about you, Darsh, but it's like there's like this idea in my head. I know I would be fine alone. Like when I was driving to California, I drove to California, moved, literally moved here last week. I had so many moments on my trip where I was like, I could totally be alone. I could totally do this. And it's like then you get around your friends and you kind of forget about it, and then it's like you get distracted, whatever. But it's like it only feels scary because we haven't done it before. And so even with the financial stuff, it's like whatever lessons are coming up for you, whether like feeling valuable, you feel like you want to be more known, it's it only feels scary because it's just we haven't done it yet. But like even in your case, right? Like there has been. Actually, I guess there haven't been times where you haven't been unknown because somebody's always known you. But out of everybody in this field, you specifically are someone who I immediately knew. Like the first, the first, like obviously we must be soul family or have soul contracts or something. Because I remember the first time you talked back in 2024, I was like, my God, I would love to be friends with her. And then lo and behold, we get paired in the same intuition class where like we get to hang out. And it's just it's such an incredible thing because you are known. And it's just giving it to our brains of like, wait, if I didn't have the 500k podcast listeners or followers or like whatever it is, it's like, how would I still be more than enough? Like, why is who Darsh is still the fucking best of the best, the creme de la crop? Like you, you're so different from everybody else. And it's like other people can apply that too. And then it's like, then you get to create your business from a balanced place. Because no matter how much success comes in, when you're giving that to yourself, it won't matter how fast it comes. And then obviously it'll come so much faster. Darshna Patel: Yeah, I think a big part of this is has also been choosing myself and prioritizing myself, has been a big catalyst. And I definitely can see how it is the biggest, most important needle-moving concept to hone in on what to unconditionally love yourself and unconditionally love like not just yourself, the situations in your life, like. people in your life, like every fucking thing that happens, even if it's negative or perceived to be negative, it's literally choosing yourself. And I I've definitely can contest that the concept of choosing myself in my business was the hard part for me because I felt like I needed money. I felt like I needed to provide more and do more to be able to be chosen. And so these were my lessons coming up when it comes to business and career. And I think I was my biggest critic. Like I was judging myself so much of like, is this enough? Am I doing great? Like even with the whole unknown thing, it's like, yeah, I get it. Like, Gabby Witt: Okay. Darshna Patel: I'm not ever gonna be unknown because I'm too fucking loud for that. But like for me, it was adding up to like what I like did, you know. It's like I am I adding up to myself with my own expectations, with who I know who I'm meant to be, am I adding up to her? And I think the b a biggest thing I had to realize is that Gabby Witt: why did you get that? Darshna Patel: it's never gonna add up. Like it's never going to hit a number or a thing. It's it's in continuation of Gabby Witt: chip. Darshna Patel: realizing myself. So something I like saw today earlier in an email that really helped me was that like sometimes we get into this rut around healing with when I have healed. everything then I'll be able to enjoy or like even on a manifestation level, you know, when I heal and shift this, then I'll be able to attract this into my life. But how limiting is that too? That's a fucking block right there. Because it's like it becomes this fucking project. Gabby Witt: Yep. Darshna Patel: This becomes this goalpost versus like I'm choosing to be deserving of it now. Take the action and then I know I'll figure it out when I get to the next thing or the next healing post. you know, to be able to feel better about receiving the thing. And that's the purpose of our healing, right? Because we can have the thing with with feeling like shit and still have it versus like feeling good and having it. But you still get to have it. And the point of self-love is really to give ourselves Gabby Witt: Mm-hmm. Darshna Patel: the things that we want from that place of choosing versus the place of obligation or the place of lack. So It's like if I love myself enough and I want to go on vacation, I like to travel. I'm not going to. I'm actually gonna focus on the money because I wanna give myself a better experience than the experience that I will have with the money I have right now. And then even stressing about money because I spent it. I I'm gonna give myself that bigger picture goal. And that is a huge self-love thing, focusing on the bigger picture versus like the immediate instant gratification. Gabby Witt: Yeah. What are ways that you choose yourself in business? Like I know you just gave one with like rather than going on vacation right now, you're choosing to lock in on the money. what are other ways that you've been choosing yourself in business and finance? Darshna Patel: I would say like financial has been the biggest driver for business. The way I see business is that money is a byproduct of the business. So every decision and things that I'm doing is actually for the money. It's actually for creating that and business is just the vehicle. So if I like go in with the finances and I really like heal that fully and you Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: know, just really hone in on that, the business is gonna thrive regardless. The business is just a place for me to be creative and create things to receive the money from. So the way I've been financially prioritizing myself, which is what I would kind of reframe for the business, is financial hesitations came up a lot for me. And it's because of financial restriction, because I haven't had income consistently for a year. And it's totally understandable, I think, anyone would end up feeling that way over such a long time. Gabby Witt: Yes. Darshna Patel: And so now I've been reversing that with not having financial hesitation. So if there's something that I want to purchase, that it's not just like, I want to, I mean, I want to fucking purchase everything, but it's something that I it used my intuition for. And I asked myself, is this going to be financially aligned for me? Is this gonna grow my money? Like, is this something that will add increase in my life? It's absolutely necessary to buy it, or is it just a feeling that I want? These are the questions I ask around everything that I'm buying now. And if I get a yes, I'm Gabby Witt: Mm-hmm. Darshna Patel: not questioning it, are you sure? Like maybe there's something I didn't look into. I'm buying. Before I used to question a lot because I know my situation, right? And what I've been. And so now I'm re-reversing that by putting myself first and making decisions that grow Gabby Witt: First. Darshna Patel: the money, like focusing on those things. Even in business. I've been asking myself, like, is this something that I would choose to do, or is it something that I'm seeing other people do? And I think that that's gonna give me the best pathway to more Gabby Witt: Mm-hmm. Darshna Patel: success and more money. So I'm choosing myself even by like stopping from overgiving as well, of like, you know, if someone had great results or something or someone has a question about something, I am placing boundaries now. Like I am not just giving away information for free like I used to unless I choose to. So I'm being more intentional about it. Even if I do, I'm being intentional about it. Versus like before I would just want to give, give, give to prove and Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: get people like to purchase from me or whatever. But now I'm choosing ways of like I know how my energy operates and how can I create in ways that honors my energy so that I can help more people. without burning out or without having to do things because I think this is the only way. I think one of the biggest things that will help people, especially in business or in any area of life, is allowing themselves to think like bigger, like open up their mind to different possibilities and ideas. Because what was limiting me the most Gabby Witt: No, I guess. Darshna Patel: is feeling like this is the way that I've only done it or I'm I'm aware of how it's done. So this can be the only way. No. There are ways to get things done and it's very unconventional ways out there to still get to where you want to be. So I've really been just open with my higher self and you know, being open to different ways of getting to my goals that I may not have thought of, but I'm like, let's try it. Let's see, because you never know. We maybe we can land on something here. What about you? Gabby Witt: Mm. I love that. With relationships or with money? Darshna Patel: You can you can share both. Gabby Witt: Both? Okay. With Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm. Gabby Witt: money, I feel like a big way that I prioritize myself, kind of same thing with you. I have like a system and it's very intuitive, right? Like I can literally pick up something and just right, like we all have our intuitive questions. Kind of same thing. I check in with my future human self if it's like clothing, like a year from now. I'm like, how happy are you that you bought this shirt? Like how well does it fit you? And if it's 90% or higher, like I'm buying it. If it's an item that I like, sometimes I'll ask myself, Do I like this? What percentage out of 10 or like what number out of 10 do I like this? If it's an eight, I'm probably buying it. If it's a nine or ten, like it I'm already buying it. So kind of same thing. But also I've really stopped. It's like I don't spend money on things that I don't really, really truly want. So if people are inviting me somewhere and I don't want to go, I just won't go. Or if I do go, like I'm not gonna if I don't wanna eat at at a fried chicken place, first of all, I'm not gonna go. But like let's say if I do go, I'm not gonna eat there. Like I really don't spend money on just quote unquote stupid things that aren't high quality, that aren't things that are gonna, like you said, be profitable later or make me happy in some way. Also, I'd always whenever I do my money date, I always just go through my spending. I make sure that everything's like organized. I feel like that's a good way. Also, there's lots of things I do for money, I guess, but career more so to put myself first to make sure that I'm not fully putting career first is I always make sure to do something for myself in the morning. So that's like my morning reprogramming ingredients. That's me going on a walk. my I'm gonna start working out before nine. So that's that's gonna be part of that too. And then only then and only then can I work on career and can I like reply to people. That's another thing too. I'm like the worst with my phone. That's a whole other reflection. Has nothing to do with my phone. It has everything to do with like just things that I haven't organized in my mind yet. But That's another piece too. So, like before I reply to any person, I have to make sure to do something for myself first. And as far as relationships, this one's so interesting. I was actually gonna ask you. I am at a place in my own healing where it's getting close to the time where I should probably cut off things with the guy that I'm talking to, and I should just get out of dodge and Darshna Patel: Do it now. Gabby Witt: start traveling around being by myself. No, and I know. See that's the thing, guys. It's like that's the harder thing. And that's what I'm technically Darshna Patel: Be like it was a fun time, time to go. Gabby Witt: No, but so I was actually gonna ask you, how does that work though? And it's like I am experiencing reflections from it. And so it's like, well I have to work through the reflections before leaving that and like it's just that's the other thing too, 'cause it's like like I still have to be here for a little while to work through the reflections. Darshna Patel: Would I would still work on it? Yeah. I mean, if that were me and like similar to like any type of reflections I usually experience in family or body reflections, I will still like the self-love thing to do is to give yourself what you need and think long big picture, right? Because if you're experiencing reflections from him, you're gonna experience Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: it somewhere else if you don't. So you'd rather experience it with someone that you actually probably don't give a shit about, truly. And I would like if I 'cause you really don't, like, come on, bro. Like you're not gonna fucking break your back for him. Like you're not gonna like, you know. Gabby Witt: Besties guys. Darshna Patel: Well, you might be breaking that back in other ways, but I'm just saying. But like you're what I would say is I don't ignore Gabby Witt: Love us. Darshna Patel: reflections anymore. Absolutely not, because I know what it does to my EMF field, which is how we're creating things. So like I if you're experiencing so many reflections, even when I do, I always ask myself like which one is the most important one that will move the needle the most because they're all telling the same story. Gabby Witt: Mm. Darshna Patel: There's usually one to three that are playing out over and over again to get your attention. We're never ever just handed like a s a shit ton. We think they are, but if you just focus on the ones that are like, okay, which one of these if I shift and work on, it'll like like just help tackle everything else. Which one is the most important? You focus on that and you you don't have to that's another thing Gabby Witt: And then Darshna Patel: too, is I've noticed when I work on reflection work, if I don't fully clear it because I test like how much did I fully clear it, it'll usually be like 60%. 70%. I'm okay with that. I'm letting that be enough for me to move forward to then get to the next piece of whatever a solution I need. You know, maybe it is physical action. Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: But I'm allowing myself to like be okay with shifting it just even a little bit because the universe sees that I'm fucking Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: trying here. And then if you wanted, you can slowly start to cut him Gabby Witt: Mm. Darshna Patel: off until you feel like, okay, I got this on hold. I don't feel bad. You'll know when you don't feel bad about cutting him off. Is when you've shifted it. Cause there is no like tie there. Gabby Witt: Yes. Darshna Patel: And so I don't cut anybody off until I feel neutral and I actually have good things to say about them versus being like resentful or being some type of way about that person. And that's kind of like what I do as a good gauge. I mean, I've definitely cut off a lot of people in the past that like I was a queen of cutting off actually. But now I don't. Do that Gabby Witt: Ha ha. Darshna Patel: until I'm even jobs, like, you know, back to finances and careers. Like I was so quick. I mean, I've had one job for like two hours once and I quit and I left. I didn't look at these things because I didn't know about reflections back then. Gabby Witt: Good for you. Darshna Patel: But like I didn't know about reflections back then what I do now. And now I'm like, no, we're gonna look into this, do what I can. It doesn't have to be 100% cleared, but at least I'm working towards that and I'm being more conscious about it. Cause let's be real. Like you know this person was just for a fucking part-time thing. So it's like you have to love yourself enough to look at the bigger picture and be like, what is actually like, what is this actually costing me the time I'm putting in to this thing that's not even long term? Is it even worth it? What's the what is it costing me? Cause Gabby Witt: my God. Darshna Patel: it's not like that would be something it's just so funny how I am with men now, or like just Even jobs, right? Like I had this lesson around me either getting a part-time temporary job or versus me learning certain lessons that I need to for the certain temporary thing that I'm offering in my business. And I had to look at that bigger picture. And I'm like, if I loved myself enough, then I'm gonna give myself the lessons. I'm gonna give myself the growth, the skill sets that I'll get versus something temporary like needing Gabby Witt: I don't know. Darshna Patel: money, where it's like, first of all, I already have money. And second of all, I can use that Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: as a backup plan versus that as the first plan if if I needed. So these are things I kind of look into. Like I think it should be hella easy to cut him off because you're you have to look at what it's costing you. Gabby Witt: No, it's so true. And like honestly, Dorsh, it's like it was so fun at first and now it's like not as fun. And I'm like, what literally what's the point? Like, but now I'm like, crap, but if I leave now, then I'm gonna have all these reflections. So now I need to work through the reflections before I can leave. Darshna Patel: why do you think you're gonna have reflections from leaving this? Gabby Witt: if I left right now, it would be partially because of triggers. And then also, again, this was a part-time thing. I literally, again, guys, I'm not in a relationship or anything like that. I specifically I've been very open with that fact. But it's just I there's been so many triggering things and I'm like, ew, no, like I I couldn't handle this or like this won't work for me. But it's it's Darshna Patel: Mm. Gabby Witt: one of those, it's like, where do you find the balance between Okay, then I'm gonna leave and also wait, what part of what percentage is this me creating that behavior and I need to shift it before I can leave and then as a result not repeat those same patterns? Darshna Patel: if things are definitely triggering you, like that is the lesson that needs to be handled. And I would always at this Gabby Witt: Yes. Darshna Patel: point balance it out before you, you know, leave. the universal law of fair exchange, which I've been diving deeper into, it's kind of like a stem off of the law of balance, but it basically Essentially states that there's an equal amount of value in exchange for every single thing that you do or receive. So if you were to apply this law with the situation, you have to see why there's value in what he's doing that's triggering you or the thing that's triggering you itself. Like there ha there's always value Gabby Witt: Yes. Darshna Patel: in everything. So it'll be the most easiest way for you to balance yourself out by seeing the value in it. And that will help you then decide that I'm gonna leave because I know that Gabby Witt: you're so true. Darshna Patel: I deserve better. But I know I deserve better because this is something that is not in alignment with my long term self and what I want for myself versus I deserve bet better because, you know, I don't like this treatment from a judgment place Gabby Witt: Hmm, Daresh, that was so unbelievably balanced and well put. And you literally just reprogrammed my brain. Cause like there's been a piece of me that I couldn't quite wrap around it. And you literally said the thing that reprogrammed my brain. So thank you Darshna Patel: Amazing. Gabby Witt: for that. Yes. I love it. well, Darshna Patel: So, time to cut off now. Gabby Witt: I'll keep you updated. I'll keep you updated. is there anything else you'd like to share with just learning your lessons and learning how to notice the lessons or learning how to make yourself feel special with like the things that you're experiencing rather than playing out the same patterns no matter what you do. Darshna Patel: I mean, I will say physical action is very, very key. Like we can sit here and do all this energetic stuff. The way that I've been learning more about myself is like embodiment has been big for me and taking action, even if I don't feel so rooted behind something, doing it anyway, and then figuring that out when the time comes to how to get behind it and not beating myself up over I should have known better or things like that. I think has been something that has been important for me. I'm not gonna sit here and say that, you know, I'm never balanced. I'm I'm in balance for the most part. So I I'm every day I check in on my emotions of how balanced I am. So I am balanced for the most part, but it's because I'm willing to face myself when I have something going on and I'm willing to do the work to rewire. and even if I can't rewire in the moment, I am going at least before bed, I'm doing it so that I'm giving myself what I need to create the life that I want because everything gets broadcasted out. So I'm thinking about those things. but with when it comes to Gabby Witt: Mm. Darshna Patel: lessons, I think the biggest thing for me was like not trying to avoid them. if I just like knew all these things to do, then I don't have to go through a certain lesson and like that would be great. But there are certain lessons that give us the embodiment of Of like the skill sets and the understanding versus just intellectually knowing what the lesson is. So I've been working on allowing myself to still take action and do the things, even if I know that there may be a lesson coming up around this, or you know, not to try to avoid a lesson. That's been a Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: big like not try to avoid issues or lessons. Gabby Witt: dars, this was so powerful. I think this is gonna help so many people. Truly. And like even Darshna Patel: Yeah. I definitely needed this myself. Gabby Witt: even just even just asking yourselves, it's like, okay, what do we feel like we're avoiding? Or what are things in our life that we know we quote unquote should be doing that we're not? And then just seeing what actually might be causing it, and then just taking even one small action in that direction. And then doing what you said, right? Like writing out your worst case scenario and just Trusting that it's gonna be okay, and it always fucking is, I think that's gonna be huge, huge, huge. Darshna Patel: Yeah, like even today, like I'm not feeling my best and I know I'm not, but I'm still showing up because I committed to this and this is important. And I love doing my podcast, Gabby Witt: Mm-hmm. Darshna Patel: you know? And I'm still showing up. So it's like remembering to under like remembering what's the most important for you and still showing up for that. Always think big picture, guys, no matter what. Always think big picture when you're taking action, when you're making decisions, and also I've something I've learned as an emotional authority Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: is to not make decisions so quickly and to not commit to anything hard on until I have all the details that I need. Because I like to have the details. I like to understand all the different viewpoints, what I'm giving up on something if I go this way, what am I getting when if I go this route? I like to see the bigger picture with the details So a big lesson for me financially and in business is like, you know, not having my emotions override the things that are not as important versus the things that are. Because I've had times where I've worked on something and I'm like, did I actually want to do this? And it was like, no, we're actually done with this. It's great because the lesson behind that was for me to check in and use my intuition check in to be like, is this actually something that I'm choosing and that is beneficial for me? And am I investing into things that are long term that I won't outgrow? You know, it's a g a true love versus I'm doing this for temporarily for a certain reason. Like, why are we doing that to ourselves? Why are we just not investing into things that are long term? Gabby Witt: Go into it. Darshna Patel: that last in our lives that we love Gabby Witt: darsh. That is literally, why are we not investing into things that last that we love in our life instead? That is that's huge. Yeah. Period. Darshna Patel: Yeah. Gabby Witt: That's a good point. And then literally asking yourself, like in my situation, like why am I still talking to this guy, right? Like, maybe it's friends or maybe it's a job. It's like if you know you're not gonna stay here and you work through the reflections, you shift it before you leave, it's like, why are we entertaining the things that Aren't long term, it will always come back down to you don't feel special, you don't feel like enough, whatever it is, you don't feel valuable, you don't feel unique. Like it you give that to yourself, you give yourself that self-trust, you can just blast past all of those things, and then you're no longer entertaining things that aren't aligned with your future. So cool. Yeah. Darshna Patel: Yeah, speaking of feeling special, what are some ways that you have been implementing that energetically and also physical action to give yourself that feeling? Because I think one of the biggest trip-ups with a lot of people and including myself has been around how am I gonna implement this of like giving the feeling to myself and not just energetically, we need physical action too. Gabby Witt: Gonna tell you some ways that I've done slash am doing, and then some things that I know that I quote unquote should be doing and will be doing, I just haven't done yet. something I do right now, currently, because again, my lesson lessons are coming through relationships and people. Something I do to make myself feel special, like physically, is I always this is actually a huge thing. I Spent so much of my life trying to be like other people, like trying to be like the health gurus and like the people who wake up at 5 a.m. and like, you know, whatever, like they have all these routines and schedules and whatever. And I was that way for so long. After basically getting divorced, after moving out on my own, I something huge that I've been teaching to myself that makes me special is owning my desires. And I freaking love Drake. Like I love listening to Drake. I love listening to certain pop music and There's been just some times where all I need is like I will literally wake up and if I'm having like a rough, if I had like a rough night, what makes me feel good is I will literally just put on my music, get out of bed, and I will give myself love because it's something that's so unconventional, right? Like we're taught, don't listen to rap, period, but especially don't listen to rap like right after you wake up, or like don't do those things. And something that makes me feel really special is if I fucking want to, I'm going to. And there's it just makes me feel good because it's like, This feeling of I'm honoring what I feel like I want to do in the moment. And that makes me feel special. Today Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm. Gabby Witt: I listen, I like woke up and there's this song called it's like Everlasting Love. It's like an 80s song or whatever. It's from all like the Christmas movies. That's all I wanted to listen to. I put it on this morning and I just danced around my room in front of my mirror, just dancing, and I was just having the most fun. That makes me feel special. Taking time to go to my favorite gelato spot by myself makes me feel special. Taking time to go to like a walking path that makes me feel luxurious and bougie makes me feel special. Taking myself out to a high-end dinner by myself makes me feel special. Wearing a sexy outfit that makes me feel cute makes me feel special. And then those are things that I currently do. Darshna Patel: what about those things evoke that feeling? Gabby Witt: I for every all of them have a different origin, right? But like if I'm dancing around my room, it makes me feel special because I feel like I feel like elf. Like I'm always telling people I feel like elf. Like I watched that movie the the other day and I'm like, that's so me. It just makes me feel in love with life. It makes me feel silly. It makes me feel fun. And to me, that makes me unique because so many people are like bogged down with life. So many people aren't on their soul path, soul purpose. So many people struggle to find joy every day. Versus me, I wake up and even if I'm having like the not best night before, I can just get down and just dance in my room no matter what I'm listening to. And that just makes me feel special because it makes me feel such a good question, it makes me feel good enough, it makes me feel worthy, it makes me feel like I'm enjoying life, and there's so many people who don't, and I can enjoy I can find joy in the littlest, tiniest things, in the silliest things, and that makes me special. So like I feel like that's that piece. And then taking myself out to like my favorite gelato spot. Same thing. I fucking hate when I take someone to gelato. I'm about to get heated right now. I hate when I take someone to gelato and they're not as excited as me. It like kills the vibe. Or they go and they don't get gelato. They're just with me for the experience. I'm like, why the hell are you here? I don't like I would have had more fun on my own. Why? Because I am special in the sense of how excited I get over the littlest, tiniest things. Like I don't know if anybody saw my Instagram story this last week when I got the pumpkin gelato, but I was so hyphy. I'm on my stories. I'm swirling my gelato. I'm getting Darshna Patel: They have a pumpkin gelato bitch. Gabby Witt: so excited. Yeah. Yes. tonight, if you want to go tonight, Darshna Patel: I've never had that. I gotta try that. Gabby Witt: I was gonna go by myself, but you're someone who I would obviously love to do that stuff with, so like you're welcome to come. but it's like That how excited I get about things, like that makes me feel special. It makes me feel loved. Like my ability to like invest in myself makes me feel special. And then also luxury things just make me feel like a badass bitch. Like I feel so at home when I'm wearing Darshna Patel: Yeah. Gabby Witt: nice clothes. I feel so at home when I'm in a five-star restaurant. Like I just, my my heart is opening right now. I just, I feel like myself. And so the fact that I have the financial ability to give that to myself, badass. secondly, the fact that I'm brave enough to like take myself there, the fact that I have the self image to even be there without feeling uncomfortable in the first place, all of those things make me feel special and worthy of being like invested in because I'm investing in myself. I actually have a really good question for you, and I feel like we can definitely apply it to business and career, but like this one will be kind of tailored toward relationships. Okay, something that I've noticed in relationships, because obviously talking to this guy, I want I know it's not forever, I know it's for lessons, whatever. I've been asking myself, what do I feel from this? I feel special, and then I ask myself why. And I would even get this for my husband too, right? Like it's like, or my ex-husband, like it's this feeling of having someone to talk to and share. every single thing about my day to it's like it's like that that's that thing in my brain makes me feel extremely special when I get to text this guy or like whoever and be like this is what I ate for like just the most random stuff that what that's what makes me feel so I'm curious like how what is your take on like how to give that to yourself because I I'm like how do I give that to myself like how do I give that to myself? Curious your thoughts Darshna Patel: Yeah, that's a big one because every time I've had certain amazing things happen in my life or things that I wanted to share, I could I know the feeling of excitement in my body and I want to share it with somebody. We naturally want to share things with somebody because we want to belong. We want to feel like we belong and we're important. Gabby Witt: Yes. Darshna Patel: And we want to f have somebody tell us how proud they are of us Because like, and I've had I've had moments where I had to stop myself and pattern interrupt that pattern. If I like had something great happen and I wanted to share it with somebody, I would literally stop myself and I would allow myself to enjoy it myself of being like, I did this, I'm proud of myself for this, like giving it to myself by like celebrating myself. And then once that emotion will go down, then I usually share it with somebody. And it becomes very neutral when I share it with somebody because it's like I gave myself the recognition and I'm so proud that I did that and I celebrated myself. And then I just want to share this with you because I just want to and be like, hey, like any type of validation they give me afterwards, it's like great, because I already did that. Gabby Witt: Hmm. I love that. Darshna Patel: But I've definitely been training myself to like keep things to myself and like celebrate myself in my own way of like what would I want to do to celebrate? And or like, you know, something that happened that I needed to like talk about and have somebody to talk about. I literally have conversations with myself all the time of like, how am I feeling? And like, I felt like this is why Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: this happened and I feel shit about this. And I feel, you know, da da da. And then if I feel like I still want someone to talk to, then I'm gonna reach out to somebody. But I'm always checking with myself first like, what do we need right now? But I would say when it comes to wanting to share, Gabby Witt: Yeah. Darshna Patel: have someone to share everything with, you need to share with yourself first, of like, let's celebrate, let's, you know, be proud of ourselves. Like, what do I need right now to give myself that feeling of special? Right. Cause am I not being proud of myself? And that's why I need someone else to tell me. Is kind of like where I'm going out with this. Gabby Witt: Mm. No, that makes so much sense. And as you were talking, something flashed into my head. It's if we had like, let's say a list of tasks that we do, like, we're gonna make lunch, we're gonna record the podcast, we're gonna do XYZ. And then instead of having like a you know, guide a text or like whoever, it's like, okay, perfect doing what you said. And literally after every task, being like, my God, like great job. Like I'm so proud of you, like you're a badass, like look at you go, like just like getting in the habit of doing it multiple times a day, you could probably reprogram that in like a couple weeks. And then all of a sudden it's like you literally don't need external validation because you're giving it to yourself. It's just Darshna Patel: Yeah. Gabby Witt: like the brain thing of reminding yourself to do it. Darshna Patel: I think it's kind of cool that you got into the you like the specific belief or the specific thing that you feel like that thing or that person is gonna give you. I think for me I've been ex trying to explore what it is. Like I've been trying to figure out like why do I care about business and money so fucking much? And I know freedom is a high value for me. So I wanna be like free and doing everything that I wanna do. And I definitely do care about Helping people and like making them feel good. I mean when I think about business, career, and finances, it it is things that we need. Like I was telling you the other day, like you don't need a man to still be okay. But money, yes, we do need money. Gabby Witt: True. True. Darshna Patel: To live. Gabby Witt: You're right. You're right. Darshna Patel: So I'm like been working on how do I Gabby Witt: that's so true. Darshna Patel: want money and have it as a high value without needing it. And that's what I've been kind of working through. Gabby Witt: I wonder, does yours tie back to safety at all? Like, like when I have X amount of business success or X amount of money, then it's like, okay, and now I'm safe, now I can breathe, now I can blah blah blah blah blah. Darshna Patel: Sure, safety is probably one of them, and I think value is another one too, of feeling Gabby Witt: Right. Darshna Patel: like important that I'm making a difference in people's lives. I think safety's always gonna be a thing, right? Cause it's like I have a whole game plan if I'm ever homeless one day, but is it desirable? My desires matter, and I desire for the best outcomes. So it's like I think that can kinda make me feel like, no, it's not what I desire though. Gabby Witt: Yeah, no, that's such a good point. And just I feel like too, if you're tying it to your value, to your success, it's even flipping mine, right? Like, okay, how can every single thing you do every single day, you're proving to yourself, like, my God, Darsh, like I'm literally so proud of you. Like that was great, like success. my God, you just posted a reel. Like now you're getting more known. Now you're changing lives. Like even the tiniest little things, like my gosh, I went to Whole Foods and I bought my my food that like nourishes me. Like Darsh, my God, you're doing such a great job. Like this is helping your soulful career because XYZ like I feel like even Darshna Patel: Yeah. Gabby Witt: just doing that mental practice throughout the day, like you'd feel so just filled up. Darshna Patel: Yeah, I am working at it. You know, I'm very aware of these tools. I'm working at it. I think my goal ultimately, and I did this yesterday where I did the least. I only did one main task, but it was the most important task. to create more money. And that made Gabby Witt: No Darshna Patel: me happy. Because it's not about me doing more or doing less. It was like, what was the most important thing that was gonna move the needle in making more money? So then I can do more things with the money that Gabby Witt: Mm. Darshna Patel: I have. And it was one main task that I did and I was I was happy about it versus usually I'm trying to fit in like three tasks a day in business trying to, get in there. And I was like, no, I just need to focus on what's most important and feel proud of myself for doing what's most important to me. And that's like me choosing me again of like, I wanna do what I know is best and I know this is why. Gabby Witt: I love that. my god, darsh. Darshna Patel: I guess I just answered my own question. Gabby Witt: Yeah. Definitely helped other people with that too. Cause I guarantee you, I mean, who hasn't struggled with that as an entrepreneur just in different ways? It's like that is so helpful. Not not beating yourself up and just learning how to be happy with what you created and produced and did, even if it wasn't three tasks. Like focusing on the highest value, that's so helpful. share where people can find you. Darshna Patel: of enough. yes, yes, yes. can find me on my podcast. It's called She's Next Level. I release episodes every week. As of right now, I'm refining my offers and what I want to help people with. So that is under construction. but if you do want to figure out in what ways you would like to work with me, then you can send me an email and everything is on my podcast and how to reach me. And I am also on TikTok. my TikTok is at it's Dorshnha. So you guys can follow me on TikTok. I'm usually on those two platforms for right now. caught it. Gabby Witt: do you have any closing thoughts? good, good. Darshna Patel: okay. Okay, yeah. As far as closing thoughts go, the only thing that I would recommend people is to re-listen to this shit as many as times as they can because I feel like I've definitely said everything that I wanted to say around this topic. And if you were to take away anything from this episode, is to think big picture. I really want to train you guys to like start thinking big picture. For the decisions that you make in your life and not something short term. Gabby Witt: Mmm, darish, was so helpful. Especially for me. Very, very grateful for that. Thank you, thank you. thank you guys. Darshna Patel: Thank you. Well thank you for having me. Gabby Witt: Anytime. You're welcome. Anytime. Please, everybody go listen to her podcast. Darish is one of the most influential, incredible women that I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Authentic, confident, just tells it like how it is and just really lights up my soul. I know she's gonna light up yours too. So please check out her podcast and I can't wait to see you guys for another episode of the Lens of Abundance podcast next week.