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Pivotal Moments Where Your Trajectory Changed – The Lessons Learned · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:04
  Kelly Hatfield: We believe life is precious. This is it. We've
• 0:08
  got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to
• 0:13
  maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our
• 0:16
  full potential.
• 0:18
  John Mitchell: Are you living up to your potential? Are you
• 0:20
  frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't
• 0:24
  seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next
• 0:27
  level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
• 0:32
  Kelly Hatfield: If this is hitting home, you're in the
• 0:34
  right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional
• 0:38
  life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher
• 0:41
  level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a
• 0:45
  fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that
• 0:49
  once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you
• 0:53
  learn it, watch what happens. Welcome to think it via the
• 0:59
  podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
• 1:02
  John Mitchell: Hey. And I'm John Michell. So Kelly, let's, let's
• 1:07
  do something interesting today. Yeah, for something interesting.
• 1:11
  Always I know, you all know you are. So think about your life,
• 1:17
  and think about the pivotal moments in your life. And that
• 1:22
  really changed your, your trajectory and think of in terms
• 1:26
  of what led to that moment. What was the change, and now from a
• 1:31
  perspective standpoint, the impact of that, that change, and
• 1:35
  I'm thinking you do one, I'll do one, and we'll go back and
• 1:39
  forth. But I think the value to our audience really is, is
• 1:45
  really understanding how you evolve in your life. And
• 1:49
  sometimes that that evolution is a function of, of being
• 1:54
  disgusted with your existing life. And, and what it takes to,
• 1:59
  you know, get to that moment where things actually change. So
• 2:04
  with that as a preview, let's launch into it.
• 2:09
  Kelly Hatfield: Okay, sounds good. And what you just said
• 2:11
  reminds me of like, the people are either either moving away
• 2:14
  from pain, or towards pleasure. You know, and so this the, did
• 2:20
  you want to go first with your story? Or do you want me
• 2:23
  John Mitchell: to I'd rather interview you? Okay.
• 2:27
  Kelly Hatfield: Okay, perfect. And I think for me, the story
• 2:30
  that I will share is about moving away from pain, you know,
• 2:36
  and at the same time, the outcome is a pleasurable one,
• 2:42
  although it was a painful, a painful journey. So, for me, I
• 2:47
  think one of the pivotal moments that stands out, you know, in my
• 2:53
  adult life, would be my decision to leave a job that I had worked
• 2:59
  out for nearly 14 years, and start my own business. And
• 3:03
  really, where I was at in my headspace, was I'd always wanted
• 3:08
  to be an entrepreneur. I mean, you know that I was in a DECA
• 3:11
  competition in high school. And, you know, when entrepreneurship
• 3:15
  and like, I knew I always wanted to be an entrepreneur, but I
• 3:18
  fell into this great job after school, and just fell in love
• 3:24
  with it. Well, like many things, we talk about this all the time
• 3:28
  with being on autopilot. I blinked my eyes and 10 years had
• 3:31
  gone by, and I wasn't an entrepreneur, you know, and I
• 3:35
  still talked about, oh, I really want to do this. I you know, and
• 3:38
  I've shared that story. And some people may have heard this
• 3:41
  already, but about a mentor of mine, who said, You keep talking
• 3:45
  about this, you know, like, well, what if you were however,
• 3:49
  you and I were having the same conversation that we've had 20
• 3:52
  times already, three years from now, how would you feel about
• 3:55
  that? And I said, disappointed. And he said, Well, you better
• 3:59
  get to get and, you know, if you're going to make a change in
• 4:02
  your life, you know, and so it was that cold glass of water I
• 4:05
  needed first of all, that I was saying stuff that I wasn't
• 4:10
  following up on. And I'd had this dream and everything. And
• 4:14
  then a couple of pivotal things happened in the actual role
• 4:18
  itself with the ownership. That was I knew, I was like, I got I
• 4:25
  had great ideas. I really was excited about growing somebody
• 4:29
  else's company, at that time, still getting pushed back, you
• 4:33
  know, and then they made a couple of really poor decisions.
• 4:36
  And, and so I'm like, I if I'm gonna do this, I've just got to
• 4:41
  do it. And I've got to jump, you know, so I started the whole
• 4:43
  research prop process, you know, to make that move and do it, but
• 4:47
  it was painful. I gave a month notice. These people were like,
• 4:51
  family, they, you know, I'd been with him for 14 years. I was 22
• 4:55
  when I started there was a baby, you know, and you know, and I
• 5:00
  I've learned some valuable lessons through that process. So
• 5:02
  first of all, just the pain of of making a change and losing
• 5:06
  all stability, you know, from a six figure job at the time,
• 5:10
  which for me was was, I slowly, you know, climbed, climbed the
• 5:14
  ranks and was six figures to no money I'd been saving. But, you
• 5:21
  know, it was so that was super scary. And then I got a cold,
• 5:27
  hard dose of reality in understanding that businesses
• 5:33
  business, you know, and what I thought were like loyalty, the
• 5:38
  reason why I stayed was this deep sense of loyalty, I felt to
• 5:41
  these people, only to find that that really wasn't returned. You
• 5:47
  know what I mean, it wasn't straight. Exactly. I got some
• 5:50
  life lessons as far as that was concerned. You know, and I
• 5:53
  think, the best decision of my life, you know, but there's
• 5:58
  something that's interesting that happens when you make a
• 6:00
  major change like that, even though like, I made the move
• 6:04
  away from pain, because I could do the job in my sleep, I wasn't
• 6:08
  challenged, I was so disappointed in myself that I
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  wasn't living up to the expectations I had for myself
• 6:13
  for making the impact I wanted to make. So that was a painful
• 6:17
  place for me. But then something really interesting happened that
• 6:20
  I wasn't expecting, which was when I made that move from being
• 6:23
  a W two employee, to being a business owner. And sitting in
• 6:27
  my own office, like literally after doing the exit interview,
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  I now I'm sitting in office space that I leased that
• 6:34
  afternoon, me and my business partner, and looking at each
• 6:37
  other you know, but you we wrapped so much of our identity
• 6:43
  up in our profession, in our in our career, and I was the
• 6:46
  expert, like, I knew how to do everything. And then all of a
• 6:49
  sudden, I don't know what to do. So this journey for the next
• 6:54
  three years of business, starting one in the depths of a
• 6:56
  recession was a painful, was a painful journey. But what was on
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  the other side of it by just having that grit and
• 7:05
  determination, resilience to keep picking yourself up,
• 7:09
  dusting yourself off and moving forward. You know, was, I mean
• 7:14
  the best, it was the best decision I ever made.
• 7:18
  John Mitchell: Right? So So back. When you when you did
• 7:22
  this, had you been telling yourself that, that I'm going to
• 7:26
  be an entrepreneur?
• 7:27
  Kelly Hatfield: Yes. Like for years. Yeah, I've been like, I
• 7:31
  want to own my own business, I want to I love this work. I want
• 7:34
  to do this for myself or something, but I want to work
• 7:39
  for myself, right? And be an entrepreneur,
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  John Mitchell: so So did you feel like you weren't doing what
• 7:43
  you were, say, saying you were gonna do
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  Kelly Hatfield: 100% I felt like I was letting myself down. But I
• 7:49
  wasn't keeping my word. I kept saying I was gonna do this. And
• 7:53
  that's why again, that whole glass of water from that mentor,
• 7:56
  which was like, we keep talking about this, and you're not doing
• 7:59
  anything, you know, and that called out to me, too, and said
• 8:04
  out loud and reflected back to me felt awful. Yeah, you know,
• 8:09
  not congruent with who I am as a person, you know what I mean? So
• 8:12
  I was totally out of congruence, and, and aligned and out of
• 8:15
  alignment.
• 8:16
  John Mitchell: You know, that's a, that's an interesting thing,
• 8:19
  in that an outsider had to smack you upside the head, basically,
• 8:23
  you know, and I think that's, that's how change happens is
• 8:28
  either reality slaps you upside your head, or a person does. And
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  that's, that's powerful, because you're so into your own head,
• 8:40
  that, that you can't see the forest for the trees sometimes,
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  when they
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  Kelly Hatfield: when we talk about the subconscious all of
• 8:46
  the time, and our autopilot. And our and that's why I said
• 8:49
  literally, if 10 years went by, like a blink of an eye, you get
• 8:53
  into that onto that treadmill. And, you know, all of a sudden,
• 8:58
  it's like, oh, another weeks gone by six months have gone by,
• 9:00
  and here I am. And you know, at that time, I'm 32 I think, and
• 9:05
  I'm like, All right, the clock is ticking, you know, so so that
• 9:10
  that was a major pivotal point for me. How about you?
• 9:13
  John Mitchell: You know, I, I'll tell I'll tell basically this
• 9:16
  story when I became an entrepreneur, too. I you know,
• 9:20
  as is, as I may have mentioned, I started out as a CPA and, and
• 9:25
  by the time I was like, 27 or 28 Well, I didn't want to be an
• 9:29
  accountant all my life and but it was a good, good background.
• 9:35
  And so I remember getting hooked up with these, these three guys
• 9:43
  that were sold tax shelters to CPAs. And they were they were
• 9:48
  players. You know, they were they were true salesmen but they
• 9:51
  and they were in their 40s and 50s. And, and ultimately, I go
• 9:55
  to them and tell them hey, you know, I don't want to be a CPA
• 9:58
  anymore. Uh, in an hour, I, I knew that I had to be an
• 10:03
  entrepreneur to really have control of my life, didn't know
• 10:07
  what that exactly look like, but I knew Stan as a CPA was going
• 10:13
  to be the path. So I evolved to telling him, you know, let's let
• 10:19
  me come work for you, because you're looking at all sorts of
• 10:23
  tax deals, and you need somebody that can tell you whether they
• 10:27
  will fly from the tax code standpoint, and whether they
• 10:30
  will fly economically, again, by these guys are, there are our
• 10:36
  salesmen and polish salesmen. And so they said, Sure, come
• 10:42
  come work for us. You can office with us, we'll pay you what
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  you're making as a CPA, which is like, you know, literally 30,000
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  a year at the time, which shows you how long ago this was. And,
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  and so I, I do that, and don't know where it's going and, and,
• 11:04
  you know, I can sort of do my own thing on the side, whatever
• 11:07
  that might be. And to make a long story short, I find a deal
• 11:12
  on my own, not through their sources. And I show it to them,
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  they say, Boy, this would be great. We could sell the heck
• 11:20
  out of this, it was a real estate development deal around a
• 11:23
  tax shelter, building, basically apartments. And they go, Well,
• 11:28
  you know, boy, we could sell this, but we're not developers.
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  And so I'm like, Well, how tough could it be, you know, you find
• 11:35
  the land, find the Arctic, find the builder, and make a long
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  story short, I put it together. And then right before it was
• 11:43
  about to, to launch, I get fired. And, and because I didn't
• 11:48
  bring any financial strength to the equation. Of course, all
• 11:52
  this was done on a handshake. Because I didn't have the, the,
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  you know, sometimes deals are just done on a handshake,
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  because that's how it is like, you try to have to trust people.
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  And into that inning, it ended up that they they screwed me.
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  And after I pounded around for literally three days, on the
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  third day, I get out and like, go screw them, I'll do it again.
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  And truly, by the grace of God, I was able to do it again and
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  create my own deal. And that launched me for the rest of my
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  life as an entrepreneur. And, you know, I look at what's so
• 12:32
  what's the takeaway from that? First of all, like, like, you,
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  you know, you think everybody has the same sort of ethics and,
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  and, and sense of right and wrong, that that you do, and,
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  and they don't. And that's just the cold, hard world. And I look
• 12:56
  back now, and I'm like, boy, best thing that ever happened to
• 13:00
  me, you know, best saying that they screwed me because, you
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  know, I, I picked myself up and dusted myself off. And even in
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  my visualization today, I think about it every day. Because I
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  exhibited three characteristics at that point, because of that
• 13:20
  happening. I was courageous to, to embrace being an
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  entrepreneur. I was ambitious, wanting, wanting more. And I was
• 13:32
  resilient, to pick myself back up and that experience of, of
• 13:40
  getting essentially fired. And, and all that best thing that
• 13:46
  ever could have happened to me my life. You know, from that
• 13:49
  point on, I was always an entrepreneur, never never went
• 13:53
  back being an employee. And I'm so thankful for that, even
• 13:58
  though at the time it was pretty much of a nightmare.
• 14:03
  Kelly Hatfield: No, and I love to, you know, like you Okay, so
• 14:06
  there were some things that you learned, by going through that
• 14:09
  experience, just as I did, either, whether it's about
• 14:11
  people, whether or not everything is fair, whether
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  it's, you know, that you as a result of going through that.
• 14:20
  There's a tremendous, there's lessons around every corner and
• 14:24
  what you went through, you know, about yourself, about other
• 14:27
  people about how maybe you will treat other people and go into
• 14:30
  deals because I know, one of your, you know, pieces in your
• 14:33
  visualization is that you will always be fair, and do the right
• 14:37
  thing. You know, and I think you've become a better business
• 14:41
  person and, you know, human as a result of having interactions
• 14:46
  with people like that, or going through some of those things
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  were like, Okay, I just was, I just saw an example of how I'm
• 14:52
  not going to show up, you know, in the world, you know, that's
• 14:56
  exact opposite of how I'm going to do business or whatever the
• 14:59
  case may Be?
• 15:01
  John Mitchell: Yeah, you know, I tell you, this may be a man
• 15:03
  thing. But every once awhile I threw all out the years, I'm
• 15:07
  like, you know, I drive down to Dallas and just kick their ass,
• 15:12
  kick their friggin ass. But I'm like, you know, wait a minute,
• 15:16
  they did me the greatest favor ever. Right? But they still
• 15:20
  disrespected me. So they carve out the time to go kick their
• 15:26
  butt. So, so tell another on you.
• 15:29
  Kelly Hatfield: I think the next one that just comes to mind, you
• 15:33
  know, that guy, there's so many things along the way. But I when
• 15:37
  I think of pivotal, something that was really life changing,
• 15:41
  and I'll stay along this idea of, of entrepreneurship, but it
• 15:49
  was with you and I need him. Yeah, it was with doing having
• 15:53
  you as a guest on the podcast, and learning and understanding
• 15:58
  more about the subconscious how it works. I mean, I've talked
• 16:02
  about this so many times, where it was just such a relief, I was
• 16:06
  like, oh, you know, now I get why, you know, I keep kind of
• 16:11
  hitting my head up against a wall or a ceiling, you know,
• 16:15
  with and not being able to move beyond it. And so, you know,
• 16:18
  backing up where I was at, in that point in my life was that I
• 16:22
  built a successful business, you know, eight figures from a
• 16:26
  revenue standpoint. But we just kept my business partner and I
• 16:31
  kept having the same problems, same issues with with leadership
• 16:35
  with team size, with just not being able to reach that next
• 16:40
  level within the business. And so I was frustrated, you know, I
• 16:46
  knew that what got us to where we were working wasn't going to
• 16:50
  be the same things that got us to the next level. And then I
• 16:53
  was going to need new tools, I was going to need new knowledge.
• 16:57
  And it was going to it was going to take something different,
• 17:00
  obviously than then what we had been doing. And, and then, you
• 17:05
  know, so I started that journey of okay, well, I'll do the
• 17:07
  podcast for a few different reasons, you know, it had a
• 17:10
  business, you know, to bring in leads, but it also was selfish
• 17:13
  in the respect that I got to interview brilliant people,
• 17:17
  John, who, you know, where I could learn, you know, and learn
• 17:22
  from people who blazed the path before me, or who'd been through
• 17:26
  or who are, are where I want to be and pick their brains. And so
• 17:30
  that's when you and I met, and I learned that technique. And life
• 17:35
  just got easier. I know what I mean, and better and less
• 17:40
  stressful and more focused. And, you know, I just started making
• 17:45
  real leaps in games, personally and professionally. You know, so
• 17:50
  and it did more than I ever thought it would, you know, I
• 17:53
  was initially like, Okay, I'm going to break through to the
• 17:55
  next level in my business. And I was really focused on netting a
• 17:58
  million and, you know, but what happened on the path to getting
• 18:03
  there, and who I have become and becoming still evolving, as a
• 18:10
  result of that is, I mean, was just super pivotal for me. And
• 18:16
  so for me, that wasn't, there was pain associated there. But
• 18:19
  we were in good shape, I was making a really great living.
• 18:22
  And for me, that was moving toward pleasure. But also I was
• 18:28
  at another pivotal point in my life where I felt like I was
• 18:31
  disappoint. I was letting myself down. Because I knew I had more
• 18:34
  gas in the tank. I knew I could make a bigger impact. And I
• 18:38
  wasn't doing it. I was I got comfortable again. And so it was
• 18:43
  that next tool that I needed in my arsenal to get to that next
• 18:51
  phase. Does that make sense?
• 18:53
  John Mitchell: Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I suspect that part of
• 18:58
  it was because you had an immense sense of control over
• 19:02
  your life in a way that you hadn't had before. Right.
• 19:05
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah. I mean, that was definitely one of the
• 19:08
  pieces for sure. And that immense sense of control. I
• 19:11
  think one of the things that I didn't expect, because I was
• 19:14
  frazzled. You know, I again, working harder, and then but,
• 19:19
  but the profit was the same, you know, revenue was going up,
• 19:23
  profit was staying the same and like, What the hell is going on
• 19:25
  here? I'm exhausted, I'm sacrificing all the that these
• 19:29
  other areas of my life, you know, and so
• 19:34
  Unknown: I, so, the
• 19:37
  Kelly Hatfield: gaining control and then also, as a result of
• 19:40
  that, reducing stress, which you don't realize the degree to how
• 19:46
  much energy being stressed takes up. I mean, no
• 19:50
  John Mitchell: stress is pure control. Exactly. The feeling of
• 19:53
  lack of control.
• 19:54
  Kelly Hatfield: Exactly. So so yeah. 100% would agree that the
• 19:58
  you know, gaining control over my life to a level beyond what I
• 20:02
  ever experienced before, like, I didn't even know that that level
• 20:04
  of control existed. You know, I'm and I'm in control, you
• 20:08
  know, I like to control things.
• 20:10
  John Mitchell: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I noticed I'm like, Oh wow, this
• 20:13
  Kelly Hatfield: is like I'm superpower.
• 20:16
  John Mitchell: Right, right. I know. Well, you know that that
• 20:20
  is on my head that reminds me of, you know, when I was 50 and,
• 20:24
  and being dissatisfied with 20 years of making low six figures
• 20:29
  a year and, and then, you know, deciding, I look back and I see
• 20:33
  how the pure power this to find the top book in the world on
• 20:38
  success and apply that book literally word for word my life,
• 20:42
  which is thinking Grow Rich read by 100 million people. And you
• 20:47
  know, I didn't anticipate that when I was gonna do this, that
• 20:50
  it would say there's a secret to success, but he's only gonna
• 20:53
  give you half that secret. And, and you know, so I, you know
• 20:57
  mope around for a little while and, and just then man up and,
• 21:01
  and immerse myself in the book, read it 20 times, probably over
• 21:05
  two months. And, and, and create this 12 minute day technique.
• 21:12
  And, you know, now I look at it. And I'm like, This is so friggin
• 21:17
  simple. And I always, you know, throughout my life always saw
• 21:21
  it, there has got to be a success formula, that if you
• 21:26
  just do this, it'll work. And you'll be successful. And I knew
• 21:31
  it had to be simple. I just intuitively knew it had to be
• 21:35
  simple. And I also saw that, where would be the most likely
• 21:41
  place to find it? Well, maybe a book that is the top of the
• 21:46
  world on success by a factor of 10. You know, the, the law of
• 21:49
  large numbers tells you there's something there. And, and so
• 21:55
  once I figured it out, and then I'm like, I step back now, and I
• 21:59
  go, of course, it's simple. So you create this immense clarity
• 22:03
  about your life, you know exactly the person, you want to
• 22:06
  be exactly what you want to accomplish, and precisely going
• 22:10
  to how you're going to achieve your clearly defined goals. So
• 22:13
  you take that clarity, you feed it to yourself every day, of
• 22:17
  course, it impacts your daily actions. And then those enhanced
• 22:22
  improved daily actions creates the life you want. Like, wow,
• 22:26
  this thing doesn't get any simpler. And, and and I'm, I'm
• 22:31
  always amazed at people. What are you not getting here? You
• 22:37
  know, but but that's people. Yeah. And, and so I'm good. If
• 22:42
  you don't, if you don't get it, that's fine. But if you do get
• 22:45
  it great.
• 22:47
  Unknown: Yeah, there's just there's a better way. For sure.
• 22:50
  Right. Brian, my gosh,
• 22:52
  John Mitchell: and I, you know, I'm so blown away about how it
• 22:55
  impacts my marriage and my, my health as well as my career and,
• 23:00
  and, you know, like, like you, you know, I started you know,
• 23:05
  making, you know, multiple millions. And, and that was
• 23:10
  great. And but I saw the, the just being able to play the game
• 23:15
  of life at a higher level. And at my full potential. Boy, that
• 23:21
  was the joy and is the joy for me. And but I see again, you
• 23:27
  know, the, the wisdom for both of you may had to come from
• 23:32
  somebody else, you know, I had to give it to you, and thinking
• 23:38
  Grow Rich had to give it to me. You know, and I think that's the
• 23:42
  lesson for our our audience today is, is figure out whatever
• 23:48
  the challenge is in your life that you want to go to the next
• 23:52
  level at, and then go find somebody else to help you do it.
• 23:59
  Because you can't do it. If you could do it. You'd already have
• 24:03
  done. Absolutely. So So you know, it's got to come from an
• 24:08
  outsider's perspective. And so I think that's the lesson for the
• 24:14
  day, right?
• 24:15
  Unknown: I love it. No, I
• 24:16
  Kelly Hatfield: think absolutely seek out, you know, those
• 24:18
  mentors seek out that knowledge, you know, somebody who's been
• 24:22
  where you want to go, you know, you talk to the most successful
• 24:26
  people in any field or in any lot in life. And that's exactly
• 24:30
  what they've done. They didn't do it alone. They talked to
• 24:34
  people who blazed the path before them and there's no need
• 24:37
  to reinvent the wheel. There's people who've done it, you know,
• 24:40
  you can make it better by but that's the lesson here is seek
• 24:44
  that knowledge out and, and there is a better way, a better
• 24:49
  way.
• 24:50
  Unknown: Right. So,
• 24:51
  John Mitchell: you know, maybe maybe we'll we'll do another
• 24:54
  episode on this. I you know, one of the things I would talk about
• 24:57
  is, is deciding to get a I'm married to the ginge that was,
• 25:02
  you know a big, a big thing. Maybe also how I found the
• 25:08
  reverse mortgage business, which was really guy just looking down
• 25:12
  on me and going, I'm going to help this poor slob. He's having
• 25:16
  trouble. I don't know you think about a couple more on your end.
• 25:22
  We'll do it. Maybe next. Next episode. Sounds good. We'll do
• 25:26
  look okay. Okay, until next time, we'll see you.
• 25:32
  Kelly Hatfield: Thanks for listening today. If you've had
• 25:35
  your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an
• 25:39
  email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So
• 25:44
  email us at Kelly@thinkitbeit.com or
• 25:47
  John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life