Latest / The Mentor Sessions / The Mentor Sessions: Find Your Mentors Before Your Next Transition
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- Dave Chametzky: at that point I was like, Hey, I I I lived a full life, you know, but I didn't know how much more life how much more life my my life had, how much more stuff you could stick in, to to really make it greater. it's there's always a way to turn things around. BigMike Coyle: None of us become who we're meant to be alone. Every story has people who helped write it. So let's talk about them. Welcome to the Mentor Sessions. All right, so here we are with David and Dave, why don't you introduce yourself and tell us about you and tell us your story. Dave Chametzky: Hey, we got plenty of stories to tell. my name's Dave Shometsky. I'm a mentor and and I do a lot of things, publish books, I help people write books, and I train people how to reduce stress in their lives. So, you know, it's a package it's like a branding to be to make sure that you're speaking your most authentic self and having that message in everything that you do. That's what real branding is. It's not just you know, a logo or things like that. It's knowing who you are and, you know, I'm so, you know, strong and that we have to be who we are, no matter what. that, you know, I I believe me, I've been plenty of places in life that I wasn't always showing up as me. But now one hundred percent I show up as me because that's who I am. BigMike Coyle: So how'd your journey start? Like let's go back in time to before you started doing all this and pick up to where you're from, your life experiences and and what what got you to where we are now? Dave Chametzky: Yeah, you know, it's been a long you know, as I guess the Grateful Dead, right? what a long strange ro road it's been, right? or Paul McCartney also, right? Well winding road. But so I I I I BigMike Coyle: so The Grateful Dead, one of my favorite bands, that's one of my favorite lines. And that was kinda the the theme when I retired from the sheriff's office. what a long strange tip it's been because that's exactly how I felt. So yeah, sorry for interrupting, but I love that you quoted that. Dave Chametzky: Yeah, no, no, no, yeah. It it's it but it's it's so true, right? the the the truth behind it is, you know, I grew up on I was born on a Air Force Base. My dad was serving in in Texas, so I was born on Lackland Air Force Base. For any of your your listeners who might have been a a service per person. and you know, we went back to Brooklyn. That's where my parents knew. That's th that's what they knew. Even though they've done they had done some traveling, they knew Brooklyn. And that's really where I grew up and as you can hear I have a little bit of that New York accent. And, you know, it was a really regular blue collar stuff. But we don't realize some of the things that we learn, the the things that that we didn't know that we learned, you know, anger and and and things like that that have kind of brought me along the way. But I had a regular, you know, childhood, you know, for the most part high school, you know, average guy, nothing special, nothing, you know, played ball, love love baseball and twenty, you know, I I I I met somebody and I I was I was ready to make the big plunge and then she got killed by a drunk driver and you know BigMike Coyle: Holy crap. Dave Chametzky: Yeah, so, you know, that I was I I was twenty, so for five years and I had survivor guilt. I didn't know it is You know, back in the day, Mike, you probably remember, right? You weren't allowed to be long distance for long. It was like a quick call and but this girl BigMike Coyle: yeah. One hundred percent. Tell tell us if you don't mind, tell us more about her and and that experience. Dave Chametzky: Yeah, so you know, I I kn I knew this girl all my life. We grew up together, you know, families w w were pretty tight and we started dating around, you know, twelve, thirteen, four you know, fourteen around there, and you know, got it got serious. You know, she went to she was smart, man. Not not like I'm okay, but I'm average, but she was like nosebleed smart. She got you know, like what was it a fifteen ninety or fifteen eighty on the SATs. Almost a perfect score. She went to Stanford and that's where she spent a lot of her years. during those four years of college. You know, she was gonna stay here to be with me and I like, nah, man, you're not passing up on Stanford for me. I'm not going anywhere. and one night, you know, we talked and she was like, Man, I don't you know, she she had like a sh four point She was like really extremely smart and you know, I was like, Go to a party, you know, like Go have a good time, like relax with you know, with with your your girlfriends and and stuff like that. And they were walking on the street and they got killed. you know, well not she she was the only one who was killed, but the the the two other girls were were physically damaged, you know, as well as probably psychologically. BigMike Coyle: So was that was there at Stafford Stanford? Dave Chametzky: Stanford, yeah, yeah, in Stanford. So but I was the last person to speak to her out of the family and I told her to go. You know, like she was gonna hedge out and I was like, Go, man, have a good time. Like, you know, it's all good. And no, I said I loved you a and and that was it. And you know, at twenty man, you you're not capable o of handling that. and you know, back in the day, man, right, they they they s you know, rub it off. You know, you you get hurt, you know, rub it off, walk it off and all that stuff. you know, a lot of people gave me advice that they thought they were gonna be well, but they they didn't, right? it it didn't and you don't know. And eventually you move on with life. I mean no matter what happens, you can be there and but you move on with life. And I didn't know that until thirty five years later that I still was carrying so much guilt around her her death because during the pandemic I'm reading some poems and and I'm I'm sitting home alone, I'm reading some poems. that I wrote to her and I just started bawling out crying and I was Where'd that come from? And that was, you know, a big blow to me. I was like, Whoa, how'd that happen? You know, I mean I always thought about her, get a little emotional at times. You know, the what is, you know, become very heavy for us. But other than that, you know, my life was good. I you know, I I I eventually did marry somebody. I had two wonderful girls and got divorced. like most of America and you know, none of those things are fun. And, you know, life s sometimes is a challenge and and I've had challenges, but I've had lots of great things also throughout life. I mean I've I've been a TEDx speaker. I've published books. you know, I I I I I write a lot. When I'm by myself, I dive into myself. I've learned a lot of things. I've helped people. You know, one time I had gone into therapy and I learnt this amazing technique called havening. And it's a psychosensory touch modality. we I always say I'll teach you how to touch yourself in a special way to make you feel better. but it's about really just about rubbing your hands together slowly and it when people could do that it it'll create create delta waves and it'll be able to calm you down a little bit. There's a whole lot more i into it, but that's where life has gone. So, you know, from that Brooklyn that beginning in Brooklyn to where I am now. completely different people and and you know, I I I think about it so often because, you know, the little boy, you know, at times, you know, would have never imagined all the things that I've got to do and the people that I've I've met and and the opportunities that I've had. Because I you know, I worked for a major corporation. You know, one of the things that you and I talked about offline is, you know, I worked it thirty years in corporate America and then at fifty five they gave me the golden handshake. You know, thanks, you're on your way. and which is the BigMike Coyle: So what kind of work did you do there? Dave Chametzky: I was in legal. I wasn't a lawyer. I was like a paralegal or you know, paralegal on steroids is what one of my bosses once explained to me. You know, they would just put me into situations that, man, you know, I don't know, Dave will figure it out. Dave, could you do that? I don't know. I'll figure it out. And for the most part I did. I you know, I I worked for ten years. I worked for a law firm, so I just got hit with a a lot of hours and anybody who's done those or have jobs that with overtime, you you know how much of your body you're giving away to do that. And I did that and then I had this opportunity to work in corporate America, in house counsel, you know, as a paralegal and I ran with that for a while. I worked with Pfizer. So, you know, it it was, you know, crazy. I probably didn't realize it, you know, like f while you're in it. Like when you you know, when you're in the When you're in this stuff, you don't think about it. But I I worked on billion dollar products. I I met the inventors of of some of the biggest products in the world. I met them on a first name basis. I worked with them and helped manage them at times also in terms of working i in a litigation space. So it's been a really interesting experience. again, that wild crazy ride, man. BigMike Coyle: Yeah. you know, you mentioned that they gave you the golden handshake. Was that they just decided, Well, we're not doing this we're not going forward with your position anymore or was it the downsizing as they like to call it in that industry? Or Dave Chametzky: Yeah, it was downsizing. It w you know, a and truthfully, you know, I had seen this. You know, I'd be I'd I'd been with the company twenty two years at that point and you know, I'd seen it every three to five years. There was a a downsizing effort. You know, they grow, they get downsized, grow, downsize. so I knew at some point that was gonna be it and you know, I was lucky enough to to make it to fifty five. I'd been planning that. So there's a lot of things that I was planning wallet. Now I did a plan on working a little longer than fifty five, but I I knew that my long term plan was not to be in corporate America. And you know, that's where I started doing the coaching. When I started learning havening, I was like this eight seventy eighth person in the world to be certified in in that technique. and I I I learned how to do that. My background was in behavioral science. so it was stuff that I even though I found a job that was well paying and I was able to focus on something else. I knew my kind of my path was gonna lie somewhere else. BigMike Coyle: So when you got that as you called it, the golden handshake, where were you at mentally when that happened? Where where what did that do for how'd that affect you mentally? Dave Chametzky: Well, I y you know, I I really I grieved a little bit, but I really embraced that. I knew what was gonna happen. it happened very quickly. It happened within the span of like three months, I guess, maybe even less, I I think. but because I had been planning a life after or a side hustle at that time, I was able to do that. And because of my experience, I was able to step into a position that I I would have never even tried for as a COO of a ma manufacturing company in Westchester. you know, which is near me near where I live. It was a friend's friend of mine's company, but he was you know, he needed some more organization and you don't know what skills you have sometimes until you're actually thrown into the deep water. You know, he's like, Man, I know you can help me. I I he goes, I just know it and I did. for two and a half years I I worked with him. And I just recently quit only because of a medical situation. you know, there's a lot of stress. You know, managing stress and I teach people how to manage stress. So but that doesn't mean it's still gonna go away. It's that constant thing. So you have to make, you know, choices and find what supports you have. And for me it was finding out I had two blockages that were ninety eight percent full you know, we were almost done and I got a stent. And I said to you know, my my best friend, I mean we I just went to a ball game the other day with and I said, Hey man, I'm out. I I I'm I I gotta figure out some things and I and I've gone full t full tilt into my business. I've always been really good at doing what I have to do, but now I'm, you know, just doing it for myself. I'm I'm I'm you know, I have my podcast, I have a whole bunch of great things going on and you know, doing the the you know, solopreneur thing instead of being into putting my foot into two different spaces. BigMike Coyle: So I know that feeling 'cause that's kinda where I just was, you know, like we talked about, I retired. I had a great career for the the sheriff's office there in Utah. And then I was I was working for a company and like you had health problems, physical health problems, but it was starting to affect me psychologically, mentally, however you wanna s word Dave Chametzky: Yeah, yeah. BigMike Coyle: it, where Where you just realize like as someone put it to me once, the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. and those things affect us, our mind, our body, our soul. So when you made the decision, if you will, to step back and focus on building your your your your brand, if you will, you know, focusing on your podcast and stuff like that. How'd that like how were you able to take that on after the things that you had built? Like, did you feel like it was the right time? Dave Chametzky: yeah, you know, i the the funny thing is I'd been building this all along. I mean my podcast has a hundred and ninety episodes out, you know, released already. I've already re so th this past two months I've recorded probably between forty five and fifty episodes. So I'm I'm like, you know, beasting it out, picking up some clients along the way. I had never stepped in fully to be this business. So I've had the business for a while. I've been helping people for years. So once I learned that havening touch, I I I learnt a lot of other t tools to help people. And originally when I started my coaching at that point I was calling it coaching, because I was telling you what to do, right? I was putting in the the orders. I was helping people with mental wellness. Now everybody wants mental wellness but we don't wanna al always wanna work hard for it. So I understand what you said earlier about, you know, that that that mental wellness. You have to take that th that that that stop. And not everybody does that because of a lot of other commitments. And, you know, it's not easy walking away, right? Society tells us, keep pushing. Things aren't going well, keep pushing. That's not always the right way. and and that's where using all the things that I have, I mean I have all these programs over the years I've been building. So I have i you know, it's not just I I I started to do this. I just started to do it full time. And now that I'm all in, you know, the clarity, the the the idea that I don't have to focus on what I have to do in the limited time I have, now I get to control my time and I get to help people. I know the impacts that I've ha ha given to people within the past two months have been greater, you know, not well maybe not greater than than pre before, but so I've had some really good impacts. But I know the focus that I have is I am crystal clear and I now have the the goal, the ideas, because I'm only focusing on one thing, and that's to make everybody better, getting their brand in order and and keeping myself healthy. I mean in the past two months I I've reduced seventeen pounds. so I I'm really embracing this stuff. Yeah, thank you. You know, and it's I I'm not there yet, man. I I I still got some work to do and it's a lifestyle. It's a it's a decision. I mean, that's where I was in the hospital and the doctor's like, You're gonna have to change your diet and I go, It's done and they're like, No, no, you have to change your diet. I go, It's done and they don't believe me. So like but now I'm going back to those, you know, those checkups and they're like, you really was serious about that I was like, Yeah, I told you it was done. Like not saying I'm not gonna have any hiccups, I'm not gonna do something, but I now know. I mean one of those things is when you know you know. When you when you when you see something that you don't wanna see, you have to confront it, or at least that's what I do, is I is I help people confront things. BigMike Coyle: Yeah you brought up a an interesting thing just there. you're talking about like you know you're gonna have some hiccups and I think that's one the important things to allow ourselves in life when we're going through life is I'm not going to be one hundred percent all the time. You're gonna go to a a wedding, you're gonna go to a party, you're gonna sit and just wanna have a bowl of ice cream, you know. And allowing yourself those experiences or or those opportunities and without letting it f letting it tell your mind, I'm done. You know, I've I've fallen off the wagon and stuff like that. you talked about these health issues you had and and having to have stins put in. you talked about losing your your losing your corporate job and then having to step away from your your the the job you're writing for your friend. like I said it's still early on this side of the mountain, so so these are like some incredible highs and and actually some incredible lows that you've had in your life. what do you think was like a a connecting thread through all these that that have helped you? Dave Chametzky: That's resilience. It's i it it's knowing what to do. And I haven't always you know, I mean I th I also have a suicide attempt somewhere in in the middle of that also. that you know, sometimes life gets lifing and you know it gets really heavy on it and you know, even though I knew all the resources, like I guarantee you, yeah, like I I don't have to ask you the question, is McDonald's good for you? No, it's not, right? So we we we know those things. I BigMike Coyle: We we know that. Dave Chametzky: Right, but we still go there, right? We still go and that you know, you have to make those choices. So for me, now look, that's what I did. That was my butt was my diet. I was living by myself. I was doing a lot of eating poorly. my mental wellness wasn't always right, because w life will get heavy and it's how we carry it. And even when we know it, right? We hey man, I know it. I know it. But unless you do it, it becomes different, right? I I I call it the Icta disease, you know. I know that already, man. Don't worry about it. And it's a lot more than I know it. It's we gotta live the life that we want. And you get to make choices. And you know, now everything regarding my eating is is a choice. Do I really want that bowl of ice cream? Last night? Yeah, I did. I you know, but you know, that's probably like the second time in two months and anybody who knows me, man, I would have, you know, ice cream every night and not just like a little scoop. I mean I I like BigMike Coyle: yeah. Dave Chametzky: I like my BigMike Coyle: So one of the things I found this ice cream, I can't remember the name of the full name, I'll tell you, but it it's it's more of a protein based ice cream. It's called protein something, I'll have to look it up. And it's really good. It's you know and yeah, I'm a huge ice cream fan. really not the topic of of the show is discussing ice cream, but and talking about bowls, I would find the biggest bowl I could and try to fill it up with ice cream. But now I I actually use the the little todd bowls we got for my grandchildren. And it's one of those mind tricks that like, well this bowl looks full, so I've got a lot of ice cream here. But you mentioned that you had a a moment in your life where you had were really depressed that you thought about taking your s your own life. Do you mind getting into that story and and what took you there and Dave Chametzky: No. BigMike Coyle: what took you out? Dave Chametzky: Yeah, no, for sure. I I talk about that all the time. It's important for us to talk about. and in fact, there was a thirty six hour period that I I tried a few different ways that I thought were gonna be successful and luckily that I wasn't. And I was told by a voice, not God, it was a grandpa Mike. I don't have a grandpa Mike, but who said it Well, there BigMike Coyle: That that's me. That's me. Dave Chametzky: you go, man. You know, well, you know, one one of your Mike brethren. but BigMike Coyle: Yeah. Dave Chametzky: No, it it i it was a situation. It was like go back, you gotta tell your story. Your t your story's not done yet. Go tell your story. And I don't know if it's only about the suicide attempt or mental wellness that that we all need to balance and work on. but since then I've been published author several times. I've also done a lot of really great stuff. TEDx speaker. So I you know, you know, my TEDx talk I I spoke about mental wellness and it was the first time I actually spoke about my suicide attempt and because I kept I kept pushing it out there, I had some families reach out reach out to me initially and I I I stopped tracking, and people, you know, reached out. I ha I had eight people who reached out to me who were thinking about suicide. I was like, Well hey man, would you talk to I like, Yeah, I'll talk to anybody about it. That's sorta where I was. and or where I had gotten myself too and I was able to get those people to help. I was they were able to kinda know what I felt because while we could think about it and people make judgments about suicide and and things like that, they don't know why we do it or why some some people feel the need to do it. For me I was going through a lot of stuff, man. I was going through, you know, divorce. I was going through I was being told that my children that I was damaging my children and stuff like that. I was like, man, I didn't damage anybody. I didn't hit anybody. I didn't you know you know, i in in what I was seeing. And I don't want to damage anybody. anybody who knows me, I have a big heart. I make my mistakes and I'll own my mistakes. So I don't mind saying I was at at this point it's BigMike Coyle: So how how long ago was this that this this moment occurred? Dave Chametzky: like six yeah it's like six years ago. I mean si i in in that BigMike Coyle: Six years ago. Dave Chametzky: yeah in that six years I've done the TEDx talks. I've done the the been on stages talking about it. I've done so much positive stuff. And I'll tell you what happened. So right after the suicide attempt, obviously I wasn't successful. I had a y lady yell at me and call me White Trash and a whole bunch of great names that or labels that she wanted to assign to me. I cried. you know, it it's never fun to be trying to be labeled in no matter what. But I said, fuck you, and I didn't say that to her. I was just I just walked away crying. But made her feel good, I guess. But in my world, I was like, Hell no. Okay, you might not be where you wanna be. Where do you wanna be and how do you get there? And that's exactly what I did, is you know, inch by inch, even those days I didn't wanna get up, I learnt. I w I put myself back into therapy. I knew the resources and that's why everybody was like, Man How'd you do that? I was like, Well, I didn't use my resources. You know, I mean think about it, right? If you're gonna do something and you don't use your resources, right? We could change look, there's you wanna change a tire. Guess what? There's a million ways to change a tire, but there's only one right way. And that's the real truth. So we could do so many different things and take care of ourselves. That's what I've done. you know, and there's been times that I I feel bad. Right, it i I don't wanna tell you every day's a green light, every day's sunny days. I have my rainy days, I have my my moments, but I don't let them go down to that dark spot in my life anymore. You know, you know, at that point I was like, Hey, I I I lived a full life, you know, but I didn't know how much more life how much more life my my life had, how much more stuff you could stick in, to to really make it greater. it's there's always a way to turn things around. You know, it do It's day by day, it's that brick by brick is how you build a ball. BigMike Coyle: So when you were in that moment and when you were trying to climb out of there, and whenever you know, it's kinda funny the image I always put in front of myself when I when I think of that, you know, personally or when people start telling about climbing out of those dark moments. I I always look to that image of Bain from you know, the the Dark Knight climbing out of that hole that they all lived in. And I don't Until you've been through that, and I think to some degree or another we all do go through that, you don't understand that feeling that like I had to do this by myself. But we know in our lives, and I I I believe this and this is a big message of the mentor sessions, that we're not doing it alone, that we have a lot of people surrounding us and and helping us and helping remind us like, hey. We have a purpose, we have one more day to live for for something. Who were some of the people that were there for you during those moments that helped you see that like i this is gonna be okay? You know, you you had invented, if you will, this grandpa Mike character. and that that's kind of a cool concept that you put, you know. and I'll tell you for me personally, It's not a grandpa Mike. I look to a a younger version of myself that I you know, basically that inner child is is a good way to put it. Dave Chametzky: Yeah. BigMike Coyle: but so but in your life who who was it that like was there that you saw believed in you and was helping you get to where you are now, getting through all that? Dave Chametzky: Yeah, so there it's been a few people. I mean, you know, you know, you you you don't know who's really gonna be by your side or who follows you along the way. I mean I've had mentors, you know, all all my life, but you know, because I I wasn't always open to it, you know, there was, you know, people who just gave me advice and I didn't know what l level of mentorship. You know, like one of my first, you know, I guess mentors, you know, the only thing he said to me, you know, we we bowled. I was a r a really good bowler in in New York State. And he once came over to me, he goes, Kid, I was about eighteen, he goes, Kid, life is gonna go by in the blink of an eye. You're just not gonna realize it. And I'm like, dude, this guy's sixty. What the hell does he know? BigMike Coyle: Who Dave Chametzky: What the hell does he know? Yeah, at eighteen, man, sixty sounds like a thousand years away, but I now know at fifty seven, guess what? It's in the blink of an eye. You know, I I believe me, I've done a lot. to in the in those years. It doesn't always feel that way. But when I think about it, you know, when you talk to your inner child, right? When you think about some of those things that you did as a child or or a teenager or things like that, it's a blink, man. I it you know, and so, you know, there's been people along the way. I mean, my first girlfriend, the girl from the girl who died, her brother was one of my biggest mentors and he eventually died saving his family in a fire and and BigMike Coyle: wow. Dave Chametzky: Yeah, so, you know, but He was one of my big biggest mentors. He he I think about every day almost. Because what my life might have been if he was still here. You know, y you know, there is just so many people that have had huge impacts in my life throughout the years. And you know, even my friend Dan, you know, the the day I attempted suicide, you know, he was trying to call me, he was gonna drive down to Philadelphia because he thought I was there. I was like, I don't know who thought you I was in Philadelphia, but that's incorrect. you know, but but thank you. You know, like you know, so got us closer to that way. I mean, you know, my ex father in law, you know, Lou, he he's been a a a mentor. he was a mentor. He he just recently passed, so yeah, you know, BigMike Coyle: I'm sorry for his pass. Dave Chametzky: but he was a mentor. I mean, even after the divorce with his daughter, you know, he would talk to me every now and then, he'd reach out, we'd we'd we'd We'd have some conversations. he was a very special man and he is a very special man. BigMike Coyle: guiding points that he gave you that you you were like, okay, I I get I get where this is coming from and and I'm glad I have him in my life. Dave Chametzky: There there were there were so many times. I mean we went kayaking together and having some deep conversations about the family, about just life in general. So there's a lot of private conversations like that. I mean that's why in some of my books I I've kinda thrown the the what is it, Easter eggs to Lou. one book actually I wrote about him. that he he loved riding motorcycles, so there was a motorcycle sage. He used to ride motorcycles. and w would tour the country. But he ha he had a way of talking and loved talking about Lou and l loved talking about so many things that I said, I bet you he's had some stories and he you know, he shared some stories on his bike trips and I was like, you know, the the countr the country needs a motorcycle sage. And so that was one of my books that I put out there. I I I wrote a another book, Redemption, which The second book is coming out very shortly, where they also meet the motorcycle sage. So there's a little Easter egg. I have a children's book coming out, The Long Road, where it's about l you know, the the modeled after Lou and riding with one of his granddaughters. So it's lots of little pieces of he had a big impact in my life because of the friendship and even when Things weren't going so well, he still was there to support me. BigMike Coyle: So what's one of the greatest lessons that he's taught you that you now really tried to teach and and pass forward? Dave Chametzky: Just be you, man. Just be you. you know, be be observant, be self aware of of a lot of things. But where that that was one of my Achilles heels, I wasn't always self aware of what I would do. I I thought everybody understood what my heart was you know, was doing, but they didn't. And and I guess at at at the end of the day, I didn't understand what my heart was doing with the stents. BigMike Coyle: You know, what's so funny is like you said that and I kinda I had that same kind of joke pop up in my head. apparently you didn't know what was going on in there either, so yeah, that that's Dave Chametzky: Yeah, you know. BigMike Coyle: kinda funny. Dave Chametzky: Yeah, you know, the the funny thing about the heart is the two that were blocked were very, very blocked, but the rest of the heart, the muscle was good, I didn't have a heart attack, so it also is very symbolic. You know, the the the stuff I do it you know, I do it either really, really well or really, really bad. And Yeah, you know, but I've learned from BigMike Coyle: Yeah. Go big or go home. Dave Chametzky: it and you know, that's where right now I'm you know, rebuilding my physical o opportunity, but I've been so mentally strong. Again, when when I was in the hospital and the doctors th they saw me typing on my computer and they're like, What are you doing? You shouldn't be working. I go, I'm writing a book. And they're like, What? I go, Yeah, I'm writing a book. I'm I'm you know, like I I I had written many books and that's why I'm really pushing to get those out because of the fact that they you know they would have died on my computer. I mean that that's really my kids would have cleaned out the computer, they would have been like, hey, we got a new computer. Great, great for us. and then my stories, the the times. So I I love getting them out there for anybody who wants to ha have those stories because th they're really like homespun stories. book that's coming out later this week, you know, i is is what is it? mem Master of Memories and and stuff like that. A moment moments. you know it's it's it's it's dedicated to my my neighbor across the street. I when I got divorced when I was still struggling through that that man, am I gonna even make it to from past suicide and mentally, you know, I make th make it physically but mentally, she came into my life and you know, she provides dinner. She's a ninety seven year old woman, who every Sunday night, I have a little extra Sunday night dinner, would you like some? Connor, you don't have to do that. And But you know, we we sit there and I talk to her and she talks to me and she won't let me buy flowers, she won't let me get her a gift, she yells at me. so I I she knows I'm an author, so I always give her copies of the book and I said, I'm gonna write a book for you. And it really is you know, one of those things. It's you sometimes have BigMike Coyle: Yeah. Dave Chametzky: to pay attention to the mentors who are out there. you have to look a little deeper at times and be the person who shows up in the help. you know, as a former law enforcement. You know, right, in in all the accidents, there's always somebody who shows up who might not be law enforcement, but they'll show up to try to help out, try to be that person who kinda pays it forward. BigMike Coyle: Yeah, and that's that's the important lesson that I think that's one of the important lessons I'm really trying to push forward is taking these lessons we we have. you know, it looks like you are documenting the lessons that Lou gave you and you're trying to make sure those lessons don't die with you, you know, and you you use that analogy of Making sure they get out of your computer because, you know, when when you pass your kids are gonna just well, here's Dad's old computer, wipe it, sell it, something. But you have a lot of information stored on there that needs to get out there and needs to be heard. And then you just talked about Connie, the this sweet ninety seven year old lady who also kinda took you in. And I like something you just said, if you don't mind. you talked about how like The mentors are always sometimes they're just the people that just showed up at the right time. You know? they weren't they didn't come in with an official title, you're not paying them. They're just people that come in and show up when when you need them to be there for you. and you you mentioned Lou and you mentioned Connie. Do you prefer when it it you build a relationship like that that you learn from someone versus having to go out and seek an actual okay, I need to learn this, I need to learn how to be a better entrepreneur and be a better author? or do you prefer when it just you look back and you're like, Man, I've learned so much from this person? Does that does my question make sense? Dave Chametzky: Yeah, yeah, No, makes complete sense. I like it both ways. I mean there's s there's some things that Lou and Connie couldn't teach me. y you know, you know, and then there's things that I've gone to other people, to to learn things about some entrepreneurship. I mean I couldn't have learned Haven a or some of the healing modalities I did from those people. You know, I I I think there's there's so many people and we should keep growing as we're we're l getting older. you know, no matter what. You know, I think the day that you stop growing older is the day you you accept death. And while I was prepared to die, I'm not now. I'm gonna learn, I wanna teach people, I wanna pour into people who want it. You know, there's so many people who you know, just wanna have things. So I have another story. one of my best friends growing up. I you know, I I do have some friends and he died unexpectedly. And He died unexpectedly and I and he had no brothers, no i no family other than his mom who had Alzheimer's and I I I I always promised him, Hey dude, I'll take care of your mom. Go away, take care of yourself. Well, he didn't take care of himself and he died unexpectedly in his fifties. So I clean helped clean out the apartment. His mom had Alzheimer's. And one of the envelopes in fact I have it right here because I purposely always have it with me, is a passport. This is Kevin's passport. Empty. There is nothing in it other than his picture. And that's the message I also have. you know, this was after my suicide attempt, but we all have those promises. The cemeteries are full with unfulfilled promises, right? And that's one of the biggest things. One of the lines from The Bronx Tale. Anybody who's seen that movie, right? Unfulfilled promises. BigMike Coyle: Watched it just the other night actually. I watched it just the other night actually I had to turn it back on. It's such a good movie. Such a good movie. Dave Chametzky: Yeah, I you know, it Yeah, it's messages in in in that movie, but it's that unfulfilled promises. I am determined to not let people have it. And, you know, in the coaching space there's a lot of people who, you know, will tell you things and not necessarily give you the full bat battle and I'm like, No man, at some point I'm gonna meet grandpa Mike again, I'm gonna meet God. I I'm I'm I'm a man of faith. I'm not very religious, but I'm a man of faith and I don't want Anybody to say that I've taken money from somebody and didn't provide, I want their stories to get out there. We have such powerful stories to get out there and there's so many people who need to hear our stories. Everybody has a story. Even when you don't think you do. you know, I've learned and I I've been able to sit with people and I'm I I do some ghostwriting. People are like, I don't have a interesting life. I go but your family needs to hear it. And then once we start BigMike Coyle: Mm-hmm. Dave Chametzky: sitting to it and then they're like yeah, there was that one time that I I met the Dalai Lama. I'm like, Whoa whoa ste take a take a step back. Yeah, you me Yeah, yeah, well you I just said hello, he he heard my music and he said very nice. I go, Okay, that's y you know, let's have that BigMike Coyle: Yeah. And and and it gave you what is it, ever everlasting clarity when you pass, you know, I think whatever whatever it is. Dave Chametzky: Well, you know, all these things that we don't know. you know, even my friend Kevin, you know, had stories and or he's been part of my story. And that's such impacts of where we are. So that's where, you know, like with mentors, everybody could be a mentor. It's not only the people we see on TV, the you know, the the the rock stars, the the b ball players and things like that. Yes, they could be mentors, but the mentors is like the guy in the bowling alley who told me BigMike Coyle: Yeah. one hundred percent. Dave Chametzky: He had no right to tell me, you know, he didn't you know, he just thought you know, he was he was being nice, truthfully, you know. And and he he was truthful. because look it is, all these years, I don't know where he is at this point, but I'm still passing on his memory and I'm still passing BigMike Coyle: Yeah. Dave Chametzky: on my legacy. And that's why I think we also need to have books, because traditionally one or two, you know, generations we we we disappear. Nobody talks about their great great grandparent. You know, be a little bit easier now with, you know, social media and things like that. But man, the messages, the knowledge we have, that generational knowledge can't stop just with me. And that's one of my goals is, you know, when somebody picks up any of my books down the road, the knowledge will still apply. You know, the fact that I wrote it, maybe I'll it'll excite somebody, maybe not. That's not important. It's the knowledge that I'm gonna leave behind. That's the legacy that I wanna have. Not just the fact that I wrote a book or I got a badge. I I I did something. I want the impact to be tremendous. And that's why I love being a mentor versus being a coach. A coach sends in plays. I don't wanna tell anybody what to do or how to live their life. Man, it it's been a wiggly road. but I have to tell you I've gotten a lot of great nuggets from it and with each bad thing I learned something good as well out of it. I was able to find that silver lining and hasn't been always easy and sometimes there is no silver lining. Things suck. Sometimes life will life and but it's the way we get through it that makes us that much stronger. BigMike Coyle: Well, you know, you you brought up a few points I wanna I wanna touch on. first let's go to that nugget that guy told you where he's you know, hey kid, this is gonna happen in the blink of an eye. you were eighteen at the time and that was probably it sounds like probably about thirty seven or thirty eight, th forty years ago that that that occurred. Dave Chametzky: Yeah. BigMike Coyle: and I pro I'm sure that realization right now just kinda like popped ya and hit you that god, that was four decades ago. But that's it's one of those nuggets that he probably made this offhand comment based on something he was seeing, maybe a conversation going on. But that that nugget has stuck with you so long. I had a nugget like that that helped me a lot through my law enforcement career, where a an officer that was with the sheriff's office and he went to a different agency, but we s we met up with him and I hadn't met him yet. I think that was the first time I met him. met up with him at the range and everybody's like, hey, how is it now? How's your new? Blah blah blah. And he goes, Look, man, it's all cyclical. He goes, right now this is the place to be, this is a place everybody wants to be here, everybody loves it. But five years it's gonna be the sheriff's office again, or it's gonna be this agency again. And that offhand passing moment, any time things were starting to get kind of like down and dreary in my career, you know, 'cause twenty plus years you you experienced those. it's it's all the highs and lows and the ebb and flows that you we go through. I always remember that like, okay, th this will pass, you know, leadership changes, opportunities come up and You know, it's just gonna it's gonna pass. so that was such a great thing. And then you also talked about how like it's not always silver linings, you know, there there's gray out there. And going back to a mutual bandit Sounds like we both like, but that's one of the that's a great line in the book in the song Touch of Grey that like every silver lining has a touch of gray. And we have to you know, like I mentioned before, we have to be willing to climb out of that pit. We we've got to be willing to see past that touch of gray. when I was going through a really dark time and usually when I'm in a dark time and and things are really stressful, if people d dare say the words to me, Just just look at the look at the light at the end of tunnel. I I always say, well, I feel like that light's just the freight train headed my way. That's a that's a Metallica line. Dave Chametzky: Yep. BigMike Coyle: You know? and so I don't wanna look for that. I I gotta get out of the tunnel, y you know, 'cause but we have to s and and to be surrounded with people that are there for us when we're in those dark times. or that they know just what needs to be said to just push us one more day to help us one more day. You you mentioned Kevin's passport and I was thinking, man, what a what a great imagery. How and how important is that you keep that with you or by you. hopefully we're not violating any federal law by talking about this, but having someone else's passport. Yeah, Dave Chametzky: Yeah, it's not valid, I you know. BigMike Coyle: no no. And how the pages are blank and when you said that, my heart just like jumped for lack of a better way to put it, 'cause he had that and he never filled it up. He never took those i opportunities or trips and and I'm sure there's a lot to that, but that's something that makes you think. And you know, my wife and I, we just got our passports a couple of years ago and we talked about, man, we need to either just like take a road trip up to Canada, which is, you know, a day and a half, two days Just so we can say we we've stamped our passport, 'cause how important that is. And Dave Chametzky: Yeah, it's a prom it it's a promise. That's what I I I that's one of the talks I I I I talk about. It's a promise. We get a passport. You don't just get a passport because you wanna hang out a at an amusement park. You get a passport because you promise yourself that you're gonna travel. You're gonna see something greater than you. And that's the the the this he had all the means. He had everything that he had to, but he kept on putting it off. And we don't know what that end and end date is. He didn't plan his end date. It was a unexpected. He might not have been feeling well and and things like that, but he didn't plan. He didn't think that that was where he was going. And you don't know. He worked a whole life and he the things that he missed, he while he was able to experience things and I was able to experience some things with him, but man, that empty passport hurts my heart much more every time I think about it and when I talk about it because it's those promises That we make ourselves. We just like, yeah, I'll do it it. Hey, even with me, with this heart thing. Would I have reduced twenty pounds? Yeah, I might have got to it. I was thinking about working out, but once I that's how I got actually to the you know, the great story. So again, mentors. Sam Champion, you know, I was watching Good Morning America, right? I was I was, you know, working from home that day and watching Good Morning America. And he's talking about, you know, that he had just experienced something like that. And he was like Men, especially men, because we don't check on ourselves enough. He goes, I need you to go in and get checked up. So I All right, man, I'm gonna Google. I didn't get out of bed yet. I was like Googling, you know, cardiologist, where I live in in in New York and my health coverage. This is you know, again, I don't know how you believe, but there was a guy who had an appointment at three o'clock that afternoon. Two days later I was on my stress test, which I failed, and he goes, I think you got a problem. Let's go for the the cardiac, the you know the C T scan. We did that, man, and they were like I walked in there at nine o'clock in the morning, twelve o'clock, the doctor calls me, I go, You're not calling me to have a good weekend. He goes, No, I'm telling you to sit your ass on the couch. He goes, I don't want you to do anything. No y no yard work, no no anything. It was April. And he goes, And if you're not feel well, I want you to go directly to the emergency room, which I did the next morning and They said you get to spend a weekend in here and Monday morning we had the sir we had the procedure. And you know, I didn't know how serious it was. you know, I knew the blockage and I'm like, all right, no problem. They could fix it, they could fix it. We we get so comfortable in the technology that we have right now. But I'll tell you, when you're laying on that table during in the C T lab and you know, they're showing you a heart on the screen, these huge screens, and then you're like, That's my heart and then you start feeling levels of pain that you I hadn't experienced yet and I go, Hey guys, I just want you to know. He goes, Yeah, yeah, yeah, we we're doing the blockage, about another thirty more seconds. And I'm like, Whew and he goes, How do you like that? I go, Not so much. you know, it becomes a completely different situation because I've got in you know, since now people like, I've got an eight stinch, I got that I'm like, dude man, you know, the one it one one's good for me, man. I I'm I'm okay. I'm trying to take care of myself. I don't want to ever have to go through that again i if that's within my control. And, you know, you learn when it's your heart, man, you know, they're in your heart. They don't have minor heart surgery. Right? Yes, it was not open heart surgery, but you don't have you don't have minor brain surgery. You either have surgery or you don't. Right. This is not a c this was not cosmetic at all. so i it puts you in a different perspective. And with that perspective, there's a urgency for me is to make sure that my messaging is clear that one, hey g whoever's listening to this, go get checked out. I was just at a family event this weekend and and I don't know, you know, the other side of the family that well. And I'm talking to this guy and I'm like, hey, do me a favor, please go get checked out. I go, he goes, Yeah, no, I I I got I get every year. I'm like, all right, great. I'm not here to tell you panic wise, but if you don't get checked out, I didn't get checked out. I was fine. I didn't I wasn't on any medication. My you know, I mean even when I went in My blood pressure was a little high, it was one thirty over ninety. It wasn't crazy, but you know, they they're ready to throw medicine at you and I'm like, Whoa, let's let's figure out some things. So, you know, I'm working to get off of all the medication because, you know, to the extent that I can, I wanna live a the healthiest life that I can, in in the best way possible. And I wanna make sure those messages get to the people who need to hear those messages. BigMike Coyle: Yeah. And there's a lot of messages that you've gone through. Especially when it when it comes to your heart. And I think we can take that message of as physical as well as met metaphorical, you know, taking care of your heart, taking care of your heart through mental well being, and and taking care of it. and if I can ask the question this way, during that physical challenge, during the mental challenge of Losing your your girlfriend at the time, going through your divorce, feeling like you were all alone and stuff like that. What was something that you needed to hear that you didn't think anyone was saying? That if one person just said, Hey Dave, you need this what was w what was what was it you needed to hear but y you felt like nobody was saying? Dave Chametzky: Well, during the suicide attempt, you know, I didn't know that I had as many people in my in my corner that I did. And and that's why I always tell everybody they're not alone. you know, i you know, f though we wanna feel alone, so when I lost the g the girlfriend, I wanted to be alone, man. I wanted everybody to leave me alone. and I was I was very i I was in dark spaces. Not I wasn't unsafe at that time, but I you know it was it was really tough. And that, you know, really taught me a lot. I mean, but you you're never alone and and that's why, you know, one of the nicknames I have is Uncle Dave. when I was a recovery advocate, I helped people through through that and I'm like, I'm always there for you. You know, I'm a phone call away and how I got the Uncle Dave, we were talking to a state senator and, you know, they're hearing all these horrible death you know, you I I'm sure you've had a deal with it in law enforcement. is o the overdale's deaths and you know, we're talking about it to and he he's kind of tuning out, not being really disrespectful, but there's only so many stories you're gonna hear that are BigMike Coyle: Well yeah, no, I I know that feeling that it comes to a point where I think it to give people the benefit of the doubt, it becomes a sensory overload. Like I've I've heard this way too much, I I I gotta absorb it. and as the storyteller, as the person sharing that, that's something I think we need to be conscious conscientious of of like, all right, is he getting the picture? 'Cause what we tend to do is we wanna make sure they're getting the picture and and we don't recognize the the hearer is getting a sensory overload. you know, overdose Dave Chametzky: Yeah, and that's exactly what happened i i in that instance. So I see that because I've been in through my corporate career, I I I I see when people tune out. And I was BigMike Coyle: Yeah. And then there's people tuning out because they just really don't give a damn. And and that's that's the hard thing is you're trying to share a message and until you've been touched in your life by overdose deaths, And and the ugly, ugly image that is addiction or the ugly demon, I think is a better way to put it, that is addiction. It's real easy to tune it out. I remember I was sitting in I I was at a at a church service one day and this gentleman was next to me, he was a neighbor. Great, great guy, great guy. I I still love and respect him today. And he's like, So you you work at that jail there, huh? And I was like, Yeah and He's like, man, and he he went on this little soapbox rate where he and he wasn't being unkind, but he was being naive and unknowledgeable, talking about how like, you know, drug addicts they're they're worthless, they don't know what's going on, and we should just lock up. And a couple of things that were going on during this is there is another gentleman setting sitting next with us, and I knew his son was was an addict and had been in and out of recovery. And so he he had a little more knowledge as what was going on than than what this feller was saying. And so I kept watching him to see what he was gonna do and what he was gonna say. And ultimately he just kind of piped up very compassionately and monot not monotone but just very subdued, he said there's a lot of g we w our neighborhood was by s a a cemetery. And he says there's a lot of really good kids that are buried in that cemetery because of addiction. And it really and I thought that was like I I wouldn't have reacted that way if that were my child. I would have been like the hell with you, what do you know? 'Cause you know, this this this gentleman he he was a great dad and he had a great family and you know, it's sad that his kid got into addiction, but Dave Chametzky: Well that's the thing is we we think that it's all about from the bad families. You know, th and now BigMike Coyle: No. Dave Chametzky: the the story was going is is I wanted to take away from that and I I did listen to the woman's story. I interrupted the conversation. I said, I don't want to hear the story anymore. We're here and he's gonna throw us out in a few minutes. So we need to know I want your money. We came up here for your money. You know, you wanna hear stories? We can ha have here all the time. And I did you know, so the woman was upset because I I interrupted her and I said, I'm gonna listen to your story. And I'll mention your story all the time. But we need to make sure that we get the funding to do it because everybody's always looking at the addicts. But I'll tell you, I grow up, you know, right now I'm living in Massapiqua, which used to be, it's a well, it still is, a great place to live. It it's a white, you know, blue collar, upper blue collar, right? It's a it's a but it's not a bad neighborhood that you would expect. It was the number one place in the country for years for overdose deaths. And it was because of the pills. It's not only about that's why I hate when they show the needle and the spoon and call them addicts. They're people who use. So again, I was a user in food. I use food as my, you know, drug of choice, right? And I I don't try to clean BigMike Coyle: Yeah. No, we we do do that. We do do that, you know. Dave Chametzky: myself up by going, Well, it was just food. I wasn't hurting anybody. Well, guess what? If I would have died, I still would have hurt the same amount of people that if I would have done something else. And a lot of times that we have to remember the people who are using are generally using because they're using that as a coping mechanism. And that's, you know, where I've really come in as a mentor is I know the I remember working with one kid, he comes in, he goes, Man, I just used. And I go, okay, he goes, You're gonna be disappointed in me. I go, I'm not disappointed in you. I go, You still showed up for your session. The fact that you used, that's a different situation, but that we could talk about and move forward from. We all make mistakes. And that's the thing is let's not demonize everybody for every mistake they've ever made. Let's not demonize them because they made a choice that we might not have cho chosen or we you know, we've know better, right? I man, I I might know better at times, but I didn't always do better. Now I'm trying to do better and know better as well and keep learning. That's that, you know, keep moving forward, keep learning and moving, moving and moving to a new level in life. We just keep leveling up, man, and we'll get there. BigMike Coyle: Well you you make such a great point right there that I really respond to and and it's one of the things I I try to share as I talk to people is you know, that that kid came into session with you and he's like, I used and you're gonna be disappointed in me and that's the mindset that that demon has is like, you failed you know, and we we talked about it with eating better and taking care of ourselves, you know, we we have a moment where I guess you can say we're quote unquote weak, but we're not really weak. But we just you know, we enjoy a nice a nice meal. And that demon, and it's the same demon that really destroys Pete Addict's life, if you will. it's that same addiction demon that tells you, Well, you know what? You didn't do it. You know, you you you ate two steaks or you know, you ate this, that and the other. Might as well just quit trying. And that's that's what I learned is how a lot of those kids feel and and a lot of people feel and one of the great messages and and you mentioned it is this isn't a defining moment. This doesn't have to define who you are. You get to choose what you're going to do now. Now are you going to commit to yourself right now to Okay Yeah, I had a big meal, but tomorrow I get to go to the gym. Tomorrow I get to have start a different eating plan. Tomorrow I get to I get a whole new batch of calories or you know, tomorrow I get to wake up sober tomorrow. Tomorrow I get to you know reach out and and try something new. Just because what happened right now, it doesn't derail the whole bus. It doesn't derail the whole train, I guess. I don't think tri buses are on trains, but it doesn't derail the whole train. It just gives you a new reset point. And Dave Chametzky: One hundred percent. And and you know, the the the word that I kept on hearing you, there's two words. It's very small words. the word get. We get to do that. You get to start no matter what. You know, there's a famous saying that one of my mentors uses is when's the best time to plant a tree twenty years ago? When's the next best time today? So no matter what, it all can start at any moment. If you haven't done it before, you haven't done it yet. So You get to do it and then yet because a yet is a very powerful word. You promise yourself something. Now you might not get to all your yets, but the goal is to try to do check as many of those yets off. You know, what have you done? Don't get resigned. That's where a lot of people get beat down in having those man, this is just the way it is. No, it isn't the way it is. You just have to work harder or figure out a different thing. You have to do something That's maybe is not as comfortable, right? You know it after leaving your career and then you're like you started something else and the health, like with me, walking away. I could have stayed with a job. I could have pushed myself into the grave and plenty of people do it. And I'm not saying that it is which way is right. It's which right way is right for you and the decisions that you get to make. you know, I'm all in on on the things that I do and that's why I wear my heart on my sleeve. I I make sure that the things I do I I do and with with what I can with the skill set and I learn and I'm still learning you know, some of the marketing pieces. You know, there's lots of little pieces of being an entrepreneur that takes you on journeys like life. You could do so much, you just have to find the right people. And that's really at the end of the day, when you find the right mentors or the right people, man, how much is that worth to you? BigMike Coyle: Yeah, well I think this is a great place for us to to start wrapping up and the get and yet, you know, two small words and you go back to Kevin's passport, you know, you haven't filled up your passport yet, but you still get the opportunity to and so take it while it's there. Dave, I've enjoyed this conversation. I I know I've learned a lot from you. and Dave Chametzky: Thank you. BigMike Coyle: I get a lot to go back through. The the fun thing about doing this is getting to go back and rewatch it and catch those things that you may have missed. one of the one of the questions I like to end every session with is is there a particular mentor in your life that you just want to give a shout out and a thank you to? Someone that we don't you we didn't get to today or someone that you think was there and and never got the the things that you really wanted to give them. Dave Chametzky: There there is a gentleman. the one he's become a brother to me right now, Michael Faber. some people might know him. He's in the coaching space, he's been in the coaching space for years and and kills it, but he's my mentor, but he's a lot more than my mentor that if I call him up, he'll answer the phone. well you have to call him twice, but that's a different story. you know, it's just the the way the but but no but but but seriously, there's a lot of conversations I've had with him offline that are there. And I've really I I've been down to his home in in in Delaware. I've been you know, those are the people that you show up and that's the type of mentor I am. And that's why, you know, we all need a mentor. We all need somebody to bounce ideas off of. and that's what I do is that you that I've had a lot of more conversations with people offline than online because that's where it is. To me it's still that old conversation about the old handshake, right? The old school way You know, I don't mind giving hugs. I don't mind telling people I love them, male or female. and it's just because I don't want them to ever have a doubt. And that's one of the people that Michael is. Without a doubt, I know where he stands with me. he'll give me crap, but he'll also do that lovingly and and I love that. BigMike Coyle: Well, I think and this has always been my way, if they're not willing to give you crap, maybe they don't really trust you or or or love you like you think, you know. know. And Dave Chametzky: That's what it is. That that's the New Yorker, right? Don't make fun you we could all make fun of New Yorkers, but don't you dare make fun of New Yorker. You know, I mean that's really what BigMike Coyle: yeah. Dave Chametzky: it is. That that's why it's family and that's what Michael calls his his unleash you family versus a community. Because, you know, we all you know, give each other crap and and stuff like that, but at the end of the day, nobody else is allowed to give them crap, you know. BigMike Coyle: Yeah. Well Dave, why don't you just look in the camera and let let the the listeners and the viewers know and some of the projects you're working on and where they can find you at. Dave Chametzky: Well the great thing is is they could find me wherever they find Dave Schemetsky, you know, or David Schemetsky dot com. I I I'm on a bunch of things. I also have my own podcast called Peace, Love, and Bring a Bat. the bat is about bringing awesome thoughts or being authentic yo yourself. So, you know, I'd love to reach out. if you for a whole bunch of reasons. If you wanna write a book, great. I I'll I I could do that. If you just wanna talk, I could do that as well. BigMike Coyle: Yeah. Dave Chametzky: that's the real powerful part is I'd love to connect with people because that's how we all get through this thing called life. BigMike Coyle: Yeah, and I'll I'll be sure to link those in the in the description of the video in the podcast in the episode. So that way people know where to find you. Dave, I really appreciate your time today. I appreciate your thoughts and and sharing your stories and you know, you're talking about how you know we get forgotten after a couple of generations and and this is why I like hearing stories and stuff like that, because to me that's one of the the greatest ways we can have quote unquote eternal life is by hearing these stories from the past and sharing them on to the next generation and the next generation. Dave Chametzky: Yep. Michael Michael says all the time, not on my watch. You know, he he lost a brother to suicide and that's one of the things we've connected with. But he goes, Not on my watch. He goes, not on my watch is my is the story of you know, whoever you want to talk about. So not on your watch, people. You know, tell the stories, make sure your kids know the stories, make sure they they know it all. And Mike, thank you so much for this opportunity. BigMike Coyle: Yeah, I appreciate it and thanks for joining us. Thanks everybody for listening to the Mentor Sessions. we're glad you're here. If you enjoyed the message, please remember those golden words. like, subscribe, comment, and pass it on to your friends. And we'll see you next week on the mentor sessions.