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Grief — When Love, Life, and Identity Change · Just Be True ~ A Soul-Led Podcast

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Welcome back to Just Be True, a soul -led podcast.
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This podcast was born from the deep desire to
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live authentically, to strip away the mask, the
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expectations, the old stories and remember who
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you truly are. Each episode we explore what it
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means to live in harmony with your soul's truth
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through real conversations, intuitive guidance,
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and powerful moments of reflection. I am Summer
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and I am thrilled that you're here with me today.
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So today we're going to talk about something
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that touches every single one of us, yet we rarely
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slow down enough to truly honor it. And that's
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grief. Grief when love, life, and identity change.
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So not just a grief of losing someone that we
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love but the grief of losing a version of our
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life, a season, an identity, a dream, a role
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we once held. Grief isn't only about death, it's
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about change and sometimes it's about becoming
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someone new. So grief after losing someone There
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is a sacredness in grieving someone that you
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loved. When someone passes, whether suddenly
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or after a long goodbye, something shifts in
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the architecture of our world. Their voice no
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longer fills a room. Their laughter isn't heard
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on the other end of the phone. The holidays feel
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different, sometimes very empty. Ordinary days
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can feel like it's missing something. And what
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I've come to understand both personally and from
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holding space for others is that grief is love
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with nowhere to land. Love that is hitting a
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void that can't truly be explained other than
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the feeling of it. So this doesn't mean that
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you're broken. What it means it means that you
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love deeply. and honor this about you and be
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grateful that you had the ability to love and
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to love so deeply. You know, grief moves in waves.
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Some days are very manageable, but you're going
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to have other days where a soul, a smell, a memory
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is going to change you. They're gonna pull you
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under and you may feel like you're drowning But
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there is no timeline for grief There is no I
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should be over this by now There's no why am
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I sad it's already been a year Grief does not
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ask to be fixed it has to be felt and Sometimes
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the most healing thing that you can do is to
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sit with it not analyze it, not rush it, not
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distract yourself from it, and not spiritually
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bypass it, but to sit with it. Allow the emotions
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to arise. Allow the tears to fall. Allow the
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tightness in your chest to happen. Allow the
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anger. the confusion and the ache. This part
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is extremely important because grief is energy
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and emotion is energy in motion. So when you
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allow yourself to feel, I mean truly, truly feel,
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you allow that energy to move through you. It
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cups and waves, swells, it peaks and then it
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passes and when we try to bury it when we try
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to ignore it when we try to push it aside when
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we say I don't have time for this or you think
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that you need to be strong and hold yourself
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together or you may feel that you shouldn't feel
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a certain way you're interrupting the natural
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movement of that grief of that emotion that needs
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to move through you. Because what happens is
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if when you interrupt that and you don't allow
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it to move through you it gets stored. It settles
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in your body. It lingers in your nervous system.
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It shows up as heaviness, irritability, anxiety,
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numbness. That is when grief becomes stuck. And
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when grief is suppressed long enough, it doesn't
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disappear. It falls harder later. So sometimes
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through burnout, sometimes through illness or
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addictions, sometimes through emotional overwhelm
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that feels disappropriate in the moment. But
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it's not disappropriate. it'll be at that point
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you'll be trying to acclimate it and you'll try
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to normalize it but you have to allow yourself
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to feel and when you allow yourself to feel you
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are honoring the sacred intelligence of your
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body and your heart when you let grief move even
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if it's messy You are telling your system it
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is safe to release And release creates space
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space to breathe Space for peace and space for
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new life to enter So feeling it fully is how
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you move through it. It's not meant to be easy
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It's meant to be powerful is meant to be life
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-changing and healing. I mean I've certainly
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lost loved ones throughout my lifetime and what
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surprises me the most about my grief was not
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that the pain of their absence but the clarity
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of their impact. In the quiet after they're gone
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I began to see how deeply they shaped me. The
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things that they taught me, the ways that they
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loved me, the subtle ways they influenced who
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I became. It was almost if that grief illuminated
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the imprint that they left behind. At first the
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loss felt very overwhelming, heavy and consuming,
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and there were moments where I felt like I couldn't
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breathe. or that life would never be the same
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again and life's not going to be the same again
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because we've lost and through that loss we've
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changed and we've became something new but what
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I also noticed and this took time was that once
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the sharp edges of the grief softened something
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else emerged and it was their presence not in
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a dramatic way, not in a way that replaced the
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physical absence, but in a quiet, steady way,
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a sense of connection, a warmth, a knowing. It
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was as if once the storm of emotions moved through
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me, I could feel them differently, not gone,
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but integrated. not outside of me, but woven
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within me. And that shift, that being able to
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acknowledge their presence, that only happens
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because I allow myself to feel the grief fully.
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And when the waves settle, what remained was
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the love that I still had for them. And that
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love never disappears. And in fact, That love
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that you have for them can continue to grow stronger
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even though they're on the other side. It doesn't
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end. It just transforms and it changes. So I
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empower you if you're going if you're grieving
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for the loss of someone I empower you to take
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all the time that you need to fully allow that
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grief to move through you and to let go so that
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you can experience life after and experience
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the change that it creates and the wonder and
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the power within yourself that comes alive. So
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the next thing that we're gonna talk about is
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grief for life transitions. It's a whole other
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type of grief but one that we can still resonate
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with. So it's the kind that doesn't come from
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the loss of a person or from the loss of a chapter.
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This is the grief of change. Leaving a career
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that defines you, stepping away from a role you
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carry for years, outgrowing a life you once worked
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so hard to build. This kind of grief can feel
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disoriented because on the outside everything
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looks perfectly fine There may not be a visible
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tragedy In fact, there may even be forward movement
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happening expansion and opportunities that you're
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taking advantage of Maybe it was even your choice
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for these changes to happen or they were necessary
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or maybe you're even becoming more aligned with
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where you're at where you're supposed to be but
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yet there's an underlying underlying sadness
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to it all. Now I can say this personally there
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are moments when I miss what I once was the structure
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the familiarity the identity that came with it
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and there are days when I feel nostalgic nostalgic
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for the version of my life that felt known and
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steady but at the same time I know deeply that
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what is being created now is way more in alignment
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with who I'm supposed to be I'm more fulfilled
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and more expansive I'm more prosperous in many
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ways and that goes way beyond a title or a paycheck.
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But both can be true. You're not grieving the
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pain, you're grieving the familiarity. The nervous
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system attaches to what it knows even if what
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it knows wasn't fully aligned or that it was
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very predictable. It had shape, it had rhythm,
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and it was comfort. So when you choose growth
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or when growth chooses you, because many times
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that's how it happens too, right? There is often
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a threshold of space, a limited or a space of
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in between where the old is gone but the new
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hasn't fully formed yet. Right, so you're kind
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of in this in between kind of weird space, right?
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But in that space your heart may whisper, I know
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this is right, but I miss what was. That doesn't
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mean you made the wrong decision. It means that
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you're integrating. It means that you're getting
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used to what's to become. This is where transitions
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are taking form and transitions are very layered.
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You can feel gratitude and grief at the same
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time, relief and longing, excitement and uncertainty.
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You can feel all of those at once. But these
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are not weaknesses. This is expansion. And honoring
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the complexity part of the moving through it
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with grace and being open to that and being honest
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with yourself as you're going through these emotions.
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They're perfectly normal, there's no judgment
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in them and allow those emotions to come up and
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work through them. Find someone to talk to and
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work through them. So the third part And this
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one might be the quietest grief of them all.
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The grief of the person you used to be. Not the
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version that died. Not the version that carried
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you. The one who survived. The one who hustled.
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The one who stayed small in safe spaces. The
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one who held everything together and carried
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everyone else. As you step into awakening as
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you heal and you evolve you begin to shed identities
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and even when those identities are heavy when
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they that were familiar they gave you structure
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they gave you purpose they gave you a way of
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understanding yourself and I see this often especially
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in moms You know, there is a profound grief that
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can rise when our children begin to grow independently.
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When they don't need you the same way. When they
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stop reaching for your hand. When your role shifts
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from constant caregiver to quiet supporter. And
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it can feel like you're no longer needed the
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same way that you were. and you may be asked
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well you know I used to do all of these things
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who am I now and that question can ache you know
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because motherhood especially hands -on motherhood
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becomes intertwined with our identity it becomes
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rhythm it becomes a mission and it becomes proof
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of value so when that season changes It can feel
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like something inside of you is dissolving, but
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what's dissolving is not your worth, it's your
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role. There can be grief in no longer being the
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fixer, the strong one, the rescuer, the overachiever,
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the constant caregiver, the one who never needed
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help because of you are no longer that then what
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are you? When you step into who you're supposed
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to be start owning your own becoming you are
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asked to release identities that once identified
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you that once defined you and letting go even
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when it's growth It carries loss. But here's
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the reframe. A different way to look at it. You're
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not losing yourself. You're expanding beyond
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that single role. You're meeting the version
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of you that exists outside of being needed and
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discovering that you are worthy even when you
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are not required to be. and that kind of becoming
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can feel very destabilizing but at the same time
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it is deeply freeing because you are stepping
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into a space of learning who you are again you're
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no longer The mom who took everything on that
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drove everybody to soccer practice or to PTA
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meetings or you know to go see their friends
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You're being able to discover what keeps you
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that brings excitement and joy to you that makes
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you feel alive And that is amazing So, you know,
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grief isn't something to rush through, but something
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to walk with. Not something to conquer, not something
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to get over, but something that reshapes you
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quietly from the inside. Grief will slow you
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down. It softens the sharp edges that we carry
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It strips away what is performative and returns
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you to what is real. And when you allow it and
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truly allow it, grief becomes a threshold. It
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can humble you. It deepens your compassion. It
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expands your capacity to hold complexity in yourself
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and in others. It teaches you that strength is
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not suppressive. That love does not disappear.
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That identity can evolve without you losing your
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essence. Grief reminds you that life is fragile
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and sacred. And in many ways Grief is proof that
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you lived, that you loved, that you risked attachment,
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that you allowed yourself to care deeply, and
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that you dared to change, even when change cost
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you something. Grief is not the opposite of growth,
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often it's the doorway to it. Now if you're grieving
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right now, whether it's over a person, a season,
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a role, or a former version of yourself, I want
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to offer you this. You are not behind. You are
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not failing. And most importantly, you are not
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weak. You are in transition. and transition even
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when it feels disoriented is very sacred. You
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are in the space between what was and what is
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becoming. That space can feel tender, it can
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feel uncertain, and it can feel like standing
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in an unfamiliar light. But nothing about this
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means that you're doing it wrong. So let yourself
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cry when the waves come up, when those emotions
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come up. Let yourself rest when your body needs
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stillness. Let yourself remember without rushing
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to move on. And let yourself evolve without apology.
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Grief and growth often walk hand in hand. The
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very thing that aches is also the place where
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something new is forming. And you don't have
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to force the becoming, you only have to allow
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it. So if you are moving through grief right
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now, I want to offer just a few gentle supports,
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not to fix, but to help you walk with it. So
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first thing I would say is journal, giving the
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grief a voice. So sometimes grief just wants
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to be witnessed. So try writing about it without
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censoring. Write a letter to the person that
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you lost. Write to the version of yourself that
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you released. Write about what you miss the most.
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Write about what you're afraid of. Write about
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what is happening, what is your beginning starting
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to look like. You don't have to be poetic, you
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just have to be honest. And when emotions move
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from the inside of your body onto paper, it creates
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space. And it's allowing that emotion to be in
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motion. So there are some prompts that you can
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use to help with this like what did this person
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teach me or what did the season teach me? What
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part of me feels most tender right now? What
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am I afraid I will never be the same? And then
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what is quietly trying to emerge? So these are
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great prompts. The second thing I would like
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to do is like tell you to share your story. Grief
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softens in safe spaces. So isolation intensifies
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the grief whether so I'm going to say whether
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it's a trusted friend, a therapist, a spiritual
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mentor, a support group. Speaking your story
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out loud allows your nervous system to feel witnessed
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and there is something profoundly healing about
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someone saying that makes sense or it's okay
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for you to feel that way. You don't have to carry
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this along. So please find someone or a group
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that you can share with. The third thing I would
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say is allow ritual. So you can light a candle,
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visit a meaningful place, create a small personal
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ceremony to honor what what was. Rituals give
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the heart a container for transition. So create
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your own ritual that works best for you and your
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memories. The fourth thing I would say is tend
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to your body. Grief is not just emotional, it's
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psychological. So walk, breathe deeply, practice
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yoga or Tai Chi, something that brings in movement.
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And there can be times like when you're having
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a really hard time, just place your hand on your
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chest. When the waves come up and let your body
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move that energy Rather than bracing against
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it whether than trying to shove it down or forget
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about it Be gentle with yourself offer yourself
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gratitude offer yourself graciousness and patience
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And allow it And the last thing that I would
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like to offer in this is give yourself permission
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to feel joy again. And this one surprises a lot
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of people. But sometimes we unconsciously hold
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onto grief because joy can feel disloyal. Smiling
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feels wrong. Laughter feels like betrayal. But
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moving forward can feel like leaving something
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or someone behind. But allowing yourself moments
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of light does not diminish your love. In fact,
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it actually honors it. And if you pause for a
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moment, and if you think about the person or
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the season that you're grieving, will they truly
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want you to stay small, stay dim, and live half
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-heartedly? Of course not. They're gonna want
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you to get out there and enjoy life and Thrive
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and find laughter and hope and joy again in your
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day The love you share was never meant to be
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kicked to cage you in sorrow The lessons the
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memories the imprint that left in your life All
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of those are meant to expand you not shrink you
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So choosing joy again is not forgetting It's
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carrying their impact forward It's living in
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the way that reflects what they gave you and
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It is allowing love to evolve from memory into
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embodiment You are allowed to heal You are allowed
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to continue living and you are allowed to expand
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even after loss and in many ways this is how
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you honor what has been lost staying buried in
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grief does not prove your love living fully following
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your dreams and remembering with an open heart
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that is what honors that love. That is what honors
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that loss. So as always thank you for being here.
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Thank you for being willing to feel deeply. Thank
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you for allowing yourself to sit with this. and
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thank you for choosing the soul -led path and
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when that path asks you to grow through change
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embrace it and move forward with it so if this
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episode resonated with you share it with someone
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right and I would say be sure to subscribe so
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you stay on top of the latest episodes that come
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out And I promise you you do not have to rush
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through your healing You do not have to carry
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it alone Find someone to support you and until
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next time Just be true to you and all will align
29:42
Check out our show notes so you can get links
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to my website my services upcoming events and
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also sign up for my newsletter and find out where
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you can get my meditations to support these amazing
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podcasts as well and until next time I'll see
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you then bye.