Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #195: The True Source of Happiness Lies Within

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Episode #195: The True Source of Happiness Lies Within · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

0:00
I'm going in Hi, Welcome to design with Amy and BEV. Good day,
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good good day. There's so much they could be talked about that I've
0:14
experienced over this past week. What in your world? Let's start there.
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What's in my world? I would say things are going pretty dang good.
0:29
There's a lot of what I've noticed for myself, which is we'll just dive
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right in. Was what came to me. And it was interesting because I
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also had a couple of people talking to me about situations they were having in
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it. Kind of I didn't realize that there was a message there for me.
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Imagine that people what but I didn't. I didn't realize it and I
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was doing something and all of a sudden, I don't know what, how
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how it all came about, but I realized that I have this when things
1:00
wouldn't go right, or things became a struggle, or things are like it
1:03
gets overwhelming, I want to run. That's one of my biggest things.
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That's It's been that way for a long time. It's a lot. I'm
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a lot better about it now. But I recognized this came from my mom.
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I was because I was telling someone a story. I was telling him,
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you know, my grandfather, my mom's dad, was an amazing man
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when I was older, when I was a grand baby for him, but
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when he was my mom's dad, he was an alcoholic to the extreme of
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like he would literally try to climb the walls when he got drunk. Like
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there was a lot of stuff going on at home. My mom wanted out
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of the house. She wanted out, She wanted out. They moved her
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from California to hear and you know, our main road that we have right
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now was a dirt road, and it's like there was nothing here. She
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you know, she had it all, everything she wanted where she was that
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that being said, they came out here, she had nowhere to go.
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So she ends up meeting my dad, gets tryingnant. She's sixteen when she
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got pregnant with me. She had me when she was seventeen, but she
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wanted to get away, and it my pattern went all the way back to
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my mom wanting to run away from her dad, and it was like,
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oh my god, this is not even this has not even been my energy
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this whole time, and it's like I don't have to carry that anymore.
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So that's kind of a stuff that I've been stuff. It's been great lately.
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But then I'll notice, maybe in the evenings. I don't know if
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the energy shifts or whatever the situation is, but stuff starts coming out.
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And maybe it's because I've allowed myself to sit still enough to receive this information
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so I can process it as it's coming. But it's similar stuff to exactly
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what I'm talking about. It's just more stuff that's like, wait a minute,
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this was never mind, This was never mine to carry, but we
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do this. We carry these things because well, that was a torch that
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she was carrying. She wanted to get out, and so I went ahead
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and grabbed a hold that torch and ran with it. And it's like I
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never stop to look and see what torchu am I carrying? Right now?
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Do you know what I mean? So it's like it's been a big deal.
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But that's very freeing. And I've been having so many experiences like that,
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So I don't know if anybody else is having stuff like that happening as
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well, but it's been very awesome because I don't feel it's necessary to carry
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this stuff, and I have my moments like anybody else, and I've fallen
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onto my knees and prayed and you know, like I don't some days it
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feels, you know, kind of crazy and I don't know where to go
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from here. And it's like just doing that is like surrendering and nice surrendered
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for information to come forward. So that's kind of where I'm at right now,
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and it's exciting and fun. It is. Yeah, a couple of
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things. One is I strongly feel like spirit knows our spirit knows when it's
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time for another layer to come up for us to look at it. Yeah,
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where you were experiencing something and you were really open to what's this all
3:59
about? Is this motion? Why do I want to run? Why do
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what? Where is this coming from? Type of thing? And and you
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are interested and curious of learning that about yourself, which is really important when
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you're stepping on a journey of healing and changing, transformation and all that stuff.
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Is to be interested and have awareness about your stuff without judgment. Right,
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That's a key word, not to not to beat yourself up or be
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rate yourself, belittle yourself, any of the things. Is this like,
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oh okay, and now I have a more of an understanding and now that
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I have this information, now I can make some changes. I'm not kidding
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you. I just had this conversation just before this call with you and it
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so it's just like a It's just like a vehicle. If a vehicle's making
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a sound, you got to identify where's that sound coming from so you can
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fix it. The engine light comes on, we got to identify what triggered
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the engine light to come on so it can get fixed. That's that's what
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we are. It's like, there's a behavior. I don't know what it
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is. I know it's uncomfortable and I want to do it differently. Great,
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what's the behavior so we can have a starting point so we can make
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a shift. Right, So, anyway, there's that. The other thing
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is I mean I talk about it in my story is you know, my
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mom had a lack of self confidence, a lack of self esteem, shouldn't
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love herself, shouldn't accept herself? Is not good enough? Right, all
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the stories? And then gets pregnant. Yeah, so now the energy of
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those emotions comes in with me, Like where we have that mother bonding energy
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and that energy comes in with us. And to compound it, I'm born
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into an abusive situation. So that also puts even a heavier weight on no
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confidence and being shy and a lack of self esteem. Right, so it's
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like a compounding energy that I came into. So okay, well here we
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go. So yeah, I get it, and I think that's awesome.
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I love that you're having that awareness and being able to be like, wait,
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wait, hold on, it wasn't even mine. Yeah, and it
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was so it was so it came forward so effortlessly. So I was in
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a neutral place and one hundred percent agree with you. Zero judgment. That's
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why I was hearing someone else. You know, you don't want to create
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more karma, right, it's just a zero jud You don't go out and
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beat your ass for something you did. It's what What did I learn from
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it? How can I grow from it? Oh? I realized that didn't
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feel so good? You know. It's all these things I was talking about
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with one of my clients today, and it's like talking about things and it's
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like we have these experiences, and we put so much energy into some of
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these experiences where we kind of get stuck in them instead of realizing all it
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was was to let you know, well, that didn't feel good. Oh,
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this is what I really want that's all it is. It's not abusive,
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it's not trauma. You're not being punished. It's just you're trying to
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figure out. It's just like we got stuck. I can say, I
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don't mean to include you. I got stuck somewhere along the way from the
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lack mentality from my own family because they grew up. They grew up in
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a struggle. So I've already been in that struggle. But I can keep
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repeating that, so I can carry that same torch. I can keep repeating
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that, or I can recognize what I'm doing right, I don't. Oh,
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oh, I've already we had that experience. I know what that feels
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like. What does the rest of this feel like? So it's being in
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that space, and then from that space, it's constantly I'm constantly asking questions
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of myself, Oh, why did you say that? Or Hey, what
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if you said it this way? Or you know, hey, God,
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I don't know what this is about. So instead of me having the conversation,
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the dialogue outside of myself to somebody else, I've been having conversations,
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full on conversations in my head. And I'm telling you, the information flows
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effortlessly, and it just depends on where I'm at, what I'm looking for.
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And as soon as I started asking questions, the answers start coming.
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But am I in that place where I'm listening to hear the answers. I
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am a lot more now than I ever was before I had the once and
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the desires to get to that space. But it's like, and I can
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tell you I wanted to get on the fast track for the longest time,
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of course, and I but realistically I was on the fast track. I
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already was doing it was this was this is a lot of fast stuff that's
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happened for me. And it's like, it's happened for me. And I
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just heard what I just said. It happened for me. It's freaking awesome.
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That would not have been a word. Those would not have been my
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vocabulary have explaining it or talking about my experiences. That would never have happened
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because I always thought it was happening to me, right, but I recognize
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it happens for me, it's happening for my growth. It's happening to like
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kind of shake me a little bit, like, Hey, did you see
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that? Were you noticing that? Is that what you want? Do you
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want more of that? Or would you like some more of this? That's
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all it is. But we get so wrapped up in the story sometimes and
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it's just not real. You know, even our story is not real.
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I just I can just recall a dream that was very vivid of my with
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myself, and it's like I Jim and I kind of he walked off the
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stage and then I walked off the stage and it's like that's great, and
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we took off our our costume for that, for that, and that was
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it. That was it, That was it, just like that total shift.
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Like it's like we get so caught up in these things and it's just
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to create. So it's like, well, oh okay, well I created
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that, and I'm recognizing what I create, but I can make it better.
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I can, I can do so much better. But then I also
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know it's surrendering. It's surrendering to this whole process. It's not trying to
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control it. It's recognizing in this moment that I have absolutely everything that I
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want, need, desire everything I need for nothing, I want for nothing.
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There is nothing right this moment that it can make me any happier than
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I am right now, which means nothing outside of me can make me happy.
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We have things, we have experiences that do make us happy, but
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it can't make me happier than I am right now within this physical vessel that
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I'm sharing to the world, sharing with the world. That's it. And
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that's that's I mean you pre I mean, you're just preaching the choir because
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that's what I teach is like, nothing can make you happy. It can
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contribute to your happiness, but in order to feel that happiness, the happiness
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has got to be inside of you, right, And so things show up
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to contribute to your desire of that happiness, the desire of love, joy,
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fun, excitement, exhilaration, whatever terms you want to use to feel
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better in your body. Because as we know, in case nobody's told you
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this, I'm not talking to you, but the audience case nobody's told you
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this is anything outside of yourself could be taken away at any time, like
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could be gone. So I mean a minor example is I'll be happy when
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I get the new car. You get the new car, and it's great,
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right, you tell everybody about it. You got the new car,
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smell it's running great. Until you're running late for work and you get a
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flat tire, You're not happy no more. You're pissed, you're frustrated,
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you're irritated, you might be angry, you're scared, you're gonna get a
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ride up at work. Your the boss is gonna ride your ass, right,
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Just things like that. So you are not the car is not making
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you happy. So it's not the car, the idea of the car,
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but it's not the car. And so connecting to that joy within yourself that
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in this moment, if I shut this camera off and I'm sitting in this
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room by myself, can I be in my joy? The answer today is
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yes. The answer ten fifteen, thirty years ago was no. Not only
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no, but hell no. You say that and I think, yeah,
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what do you mean? I'm fucking happy? What could you see my face?
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And that's how I was? How can you tell me? What do
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you mean? What do you mean? What does that even mean? Do
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you think I'm not happy? You know what I mean? That's all for
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me? Like what? Yeah, my pistols all drawn? It's like,
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what are you talking about? I'm happy being into the camera. What are
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you talking about? I'm in my joy right now? Fill it? Do
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you want to oh my gosh. So you know, it's like you just
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put that piece like the past five minutes on repeat, because I've said that
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so many times in this past week, in different conversations different people, that
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your joy is not valued or based on anything outside of yourself, and neither
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is love. Neither is love. It's got to come from within. It's
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got to be for yourself, to yourself, within yourself. So that and
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that's our individual responsibility. And I've had that somebody who is in the hospital
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right now who has been told may have tumors in her body and could be
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cancerous, somebody who has heart problems, a couple that I just got off
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the phone with on a connection call, like several conversations several people in the
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past week, same conversation, and it's like, Okay, well, is
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this actually for me? Is this actually for me to hear? It?
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Every conversation I have is for me to hear And I know that, But
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I also know there are many people on the planet that need to hear it.
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So if I have to repeat it a thousand times in a day,
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I will say it a thousand times in the day. The love and joy
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has to it is a must come from within. There is no getting away
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around that. There's not there's like no other option that I'm aware of at
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this moment, in this time. I agree with you, and that from
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within, from that within, you find your connection with all like it's from
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that within and there is no separation. From that within. You still have
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connection to everybody's soul. You still have even if they're in their physical body
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right now. They maybe they're not showing up for you the best way that
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you think they can, but on a soul level, they're having an experience
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and there is that love, and you can only experience that. To me,
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from within, that's a that's an inside job. It's an inside response.
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Maybe it's not so much a job, but that's an inside thing.
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It's like that's if I was looking outside, because if you think about well,
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if I look at you, I don't see how we're connected. Besides,
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we get along and you know, we we resonate with a lot of
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the same things or similar things, But I don't know. Our bodies look
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like they're separate. I'm in my own body, you're in your own body.
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But the truth is I couldn't have seen that we are connected. And
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that's it. Well, I don't know if you or me, but you're
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cutting out and you're kind of if something much like yeah, I like a
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robot. Hmm, all right, well I'm not Yeah, I'm not hearing
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you very well. So so I keep talking and and and then it seems
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like you're coming back into focus and all that. But yeah, there you
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go. So technology, let's just run with that, like technology had this
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issue if this whole dynamic that oh bab, you're cutting out, can't see
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you very well, You're you're whatever, pixelated, whatever a story is this
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happening on what I'm seeing is you know today, I'm just like, hey,
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I can't hear you. As a matter of fact, I can't hear
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you. And that doesn't define how this in there your back now. It
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doesn't how this interaction is happening even though it's being live, it's being stream
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lived in our Facebook group and being recorded. And I don't make edits to
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our recordings like we record, I download, I post, that's it.
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I limited time on anything. And everybody you know is concerned about, you
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know, for your professional podcasters are concerned about, oh, you gotta have
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an intro, you gotta have an outro. You gotta do this, you
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gotta do that, you gotta edit the things that where there's lag time and
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I don't know, I don't have time for that. We are coming,
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We're having a conversation. It's going to be what it's going to be.
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That's it. I'm okay with that, Like you can genuinely tell I'm okay
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with that. In my world of perfectionism and control and fixer, that what
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irritated me. I would have been like, you know what, we need
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to stop. We're just gonna We're just gonna start over. We'll just do
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it again. Oh my god, I gotta spend all this time to edit
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it. Like I would have had a story that would have went on for
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days, and then what happens the next tea time comes up? I would
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dread it. I'd be like, all right, I hope this goes well.
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A totally different attitude, totally different energy and even just and I expressed
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this in the past couple videos where we've talked about heavy emotions, like I've
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tried to get into those heavy emotions like that, and I just it doesn't
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happen. It's so funny to me, and I'm like, who is this
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who is this person? Who is this person showing up right now? Can't
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can't get irritated because things are going well on the video and that cool.
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I in find it so cool and I'm so excited. That's a gauge for
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me and for myself. Yeah, no, I like it. I like
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it. I like those kind of gauges. They're like right and right up
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front here this is how it is, yep, which I do like well,
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and I have again you know that word awareness. We like puke that
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word up so much because you have to have that. You got to be
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aware of yourself. Yeah, I mean, I can't gauge myself if I
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don't know where I was and where I am. If I'm oblivious to how
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I'm showing up in this world, I'm not gonna be able to gauge myself.
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I'm aware of myself because I want to be, because I'm interested in
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how I'm showing up in this world. I'm interested in how I'm still getting
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triggered. I'm interested in my joy love well, my love level for myself.
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I'm interested and curious, and so I want to have that awareness.
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Yeah, because it totally gets you. That's how you get to know yourself.
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This is the awareness is how you get to know yourself. For me,
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I mean that's what I have recognized it. It's me getting to know
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me. We don't know about ourselves. A lot of us don't have a
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clue. We don't even know what we like and what we don't like.
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And it's like I listened to someone the other day and it's like, there,
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she said, you really do. People are always telling me she says,
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Oh, I don't know why passions are. She says, well,
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that's not really entirely true. When you stop and think about it. When
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you're on a trip and you and you're driving home, what do you think
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about, Oh, I can't wait to be in my own house. That's
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a passion. I can't wait to be sleeping in my own bed again with
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my head on my own pillow. Those are passions. But we've like we're
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so out there, like looking for the next thing or for the next thrill,
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everything outside of us right that we're we're not recognizing all this wonderful stuff
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that we have going on around us until someone says something like that, and
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it's like, oh, well that's true. Well that's true, and so
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it's just a focus on those parts, right. We talked about our childhood
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and stuff, and the focus was always, well, this is what happened
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to me, you know what I mean? That was my thing. And
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it's like I never focused on Oh, but I had such a great time
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writing with my mom, coming back from Haasu and it being a heat wave,
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and I remember with my hand, you know, swimming in the air
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outside the window, and you know, playing at the beach. I remember
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those things, but the focus was on something else. I have a picture
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of me of me on my vision wall and my daughters. They haven't been
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to the house for a while because the road was pretty rough, and she's
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like, why'd you pick that picture? And I said, you know,
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I like the way my skin looks. I like my smile, I like
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the way my hair looks. But I liked the way my energy felt.
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And for the longest time, I kept telling myself this story that we weren't
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happy, that we weren't happy and stuff, and it's like, no,
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I've got proof I was happy, you know what I mean. But I
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got into this place and I feel like a lot of times we get into
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these stories and we tell ourselves these stories and so it's a constant reminder.
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So even when i'm if I'm going to go into meditation, or if I'm
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focused on like seeing myself smiling in that picture. I see myself smiling in
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that picture. That's my focus now instead of looking we we have a tendency
23:26
because it's we focus on not and I say we, meaning it's just general.
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It's not you and I, but I think we all do this stuff.
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It's like we'll judge things not even realize we're judging it, like oh,
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well, you know, for instance, going to a Walmart and someone's
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maybe heavy and they're wearing whatever they're wearing or whatever, and it's like there
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was a thought, well, we're creating everyone everything that we see, instead
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of looking at that person and thinking how amazing, which I know we do
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this now, we do this, but how amazing. How I wish I
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was that strong that I could just put my slippers on, in my clothes
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and go Why not be comfortable and go shopping? Why not? Like seriously,
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why not? But that was always against my training because my mom she
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would never have gone out to check the mailbox. And she was beautiful,
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she was beautiful inside and out. Makeup or no makeup, it didn't matter.
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But she wouldn't go out to the mailbox until she was all, you
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know, everything was done up. She was not to be She wasn't going
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to expose herself without feeling that confidence behind the makeup that gave her that confidence
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or whatever however she was feeling. Because I never talked to her about those
24:30
kind of things, I just recognized what I had seen. But it's like,
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we don't have to live like that, and it's just recognizing whatever we're
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looking at. Always. If you're always finding the positive, you're only creating
24:44
positive stuff in your own life, your own experience. You're looking at the
24:47
menu and you're creating that for yourself. That's the way I look at it,
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And so I recognized before that I might have known ooh, if someone
24:53
was having a problem with her hair, oh god, I was having a
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problem with mine too, you know what I mean. So then it's like
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I'm feeding this energy that's unnecessary. It's unnecessary. That's where the vision board
25:04
comes into play. It's not you don't look at it and like longingly look
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at it and think, oh god, maybe someday or I don't know,
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if what's gonna happen. You just look at it and you appreciate it.
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You put it out there so you can see the pictures, the images,
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whatever you're looking forward to, so you can see them again and again and
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again. And to remind you, not to remind you what you don't have,
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but remind you of how amazing and how how we create, because we
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create that way, we create from this space what everything we see. We
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talk about everything, so it's like being aware of what are you talking about?
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And I know we talk about this stuff a lot, but it's important
25:37
because more and more people are going to be watching and more people. More
25:41
people are like in a space of total awakenings, Like there is so much
25:44
going on. This is this is like the best year ever. I don't
25:47
know why, and I feel so excited when I talk about it, but
25:49
it is. It's the best year ever. It's the best year. So
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it's like why not? But why does it? All years are the best
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year? It doesn't have to be just last year. We can find lots
26:00
of positive too. You hear people talking about all the time, Oh God,
26:03
I'm so glad this year is over. No, but there was so
26:06
much wonderful things that happened in that year. Let's talk about that. Yeah
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yeah, I mean even where I'm working right now, it's the negative story.
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Oh well this, oh well that. I'm like, why are we
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talking about then? Don't feel good? What do you want? What do
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you want to focus on? Let's talk about the sunshining today or you know,
26:32
is like learning to be better at redirecting a conversation with somebody who doesn't
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live in my world. Who doesn't I don't have these conversations with a normal
26:45
right and so it's like, Okay, how can I redirect this conversation and
26:51
not give attention to what they want to focus on. So that's been interesting
26:57
for myself, Like it's easy for me to do that in a class.
27:00
People are showing up because they're interested in what I'm teaching. It's easy for
27:04
me to do it with you because you get it, you understand what's happening.
27:10
But just normal whoever, in a typical day out in public, and
27:15
they want to talk about negative stuff, even the freaking I had a service
27:19
guy come here and right away starts talking about the possibility of being drafted for
27:26
a war. I was like, really, really, this is what you
27:33
want to talk to me about who. I was not prepared for that conversation
27:41
in the morning, and I'm like, oh, my Len, how am
27:42
I going to redirect this conversation. So I'm getting practice and it's been interesting.
27:52
But the other thing I wrote down while you were talking is, you
27:56
know, being interested in yourself, being curious about your And I'm going to
28:00
speak from from understanding why people would do what they do, because I get
28:08
it, and it's avoidance. And when people know when they're introduced to me
28:18
and they kind of get to know me and they know what I do,
28:22
now I don't. I don't just go out and if somebody's having being negative
28:26
Nancy, I don't start, you know, preaching to them about be more
28:32
positive and all that. Like, I don't do that, Redirect the conversation,
28:37
leave the conversation, whatever. But people who have been introduced to me
28:44
and they know what I do, and they're still attached to their story and
28:47
they're victimized victimization, they avoid me. And I understand that, and I
28:56
get it because I would kind of do that too when I was in that
29:00
space. But being interested in myself and curious, I'm wanting more of an
29:08
understanding of why am I showing up the way I'm showing up even if I'm
29:12
be angry or feel guilt or shame or all the stuff. If somebody comes
29:18
into my life who is a is a coach or an energy worker or something
29:23
along those lines, if I were to go back, I would be like,
29:33
deeply interested in that person. How can you help me? What can
29:40
you do? Anything like a class a pot I mean similar with what I'm
29:45
doing now, but really like a class a podcast. What do you what?
29:48
What content do you have that could help me? If I was interested
29:52
in knowing about myself and when you're when you know when you know, so
30:00
I know when somebody is avoiding me. Just to have a nor like even
30:07
if you wanted to talk about the weather, I would sit and talk about
30:10
the weather. It's okay just to hold space for you. But if you're
30:17
avoiding yourself and you know it's uncomfortable and when it doesn't feel good, then
30:26
that's a huge indicator. Because we talk about this every week, your body,
30:33
when it doesn't feel good, it's a huge indicator that it's time to
30:37
do something different. If you desire to feel differently, if you desire to
30:44
feel lighter and more in that joyful space. Avoidance is going to keep you
30:53
stuck, and that's okay, right, it's okay, okay because it's their
31:02
journey and then there there are great lessons for us, honestly, but it
31:07
didn't I mean, but like on the other side of that, like you
31:08
said, because we've been there, and it's funny that you bring that up
31:11
because I could. I can tell I know when someone's avoiding me too,
31:15
because I've had it. It's been it's actually been recently this week. Yeah,
31:19
And I was like, ah, well, but then I have to
31:22
realize if you stop and realize, because this was for me. This was
31:26
a realization it's not about me, right, and and that sometimes it's hard
31:30
because it's like I always felt like if something was wrong, Oh did I
31:33
was there something wrong? Do I need to fix something? Oh? Did
31:36
I do that? And I still I have done it for a while.
31:37
Now dream's brought it to my attention, so I've recognized it. Didn't know
31:41
I thought I was doing it, and then now I recognize it. So
31:45
but it's a judgment, right, because we're judging ourselves. So that points
31:48
it all the way back to then judging. It's if you're if you're avoiding
31:52
someone else because you're judging. Oh, they're going to say something to me,
31:56
and I can't. I just can't. I am not in the space
31:57
to deal with that right now, you know what I mean. I am
32:00
not in a space to deal with someone that's positive right now. Oh my
32:02
god, do you hear that person all over they're laughing? No, But
32:05
that's how i've that's been. I've been in that space. Oh they're a
32:07
little bit too happy. I want to what they're own, you know what
32:08
I mean, Maybe they're high on life, and that's probably that's how I
32:13
am these days mostly so, but it's true there's a judgment there, and
32:17
I think that's where they you know, and the and they're judging you,
32:22
but they've been judging themselves the whole time. And so it's such a thing
32:25
to look at it. It's it's something to process, not to take ownership
32:30
of it, and a lot of times I was taking ownership. I was
32:32
just talking to a client today after I said, you know, it's so
32:37
very important, and we've been talking about it too, really really watching the
32:40
stuff that we're creating with what we say and what we think, how we
32:44
feel it goes back to the whole vision board. It's like being in that
32:47
space and recognizing with awareness, right because we're aware of what am I talking
32:52
about? Or what am I? How am I contributing to this conversation?
32:55
Am I contributing that to the conversation? So I can help the other person
32:59
feel better? But then I'm you know, changing the ship, I'm shifting
33:01
myself into a different space. But just recognizing everything is creating something else.
33:07
We're creating every moment, every moment, and it's totally up to us to
33:13
have that awareness and really be it mindful of how we're creating. Now,
33:16
when I go to the store, I'm like excited, and if someone pops
33:20
into my mind, I'm like, oh, I'm going to run into them,
33:22
and I just know, you just know, it's not even a question
33:24
anymore. I just go and see what happens. And sometimes I don't and
33:29
maybe they avoided me. It's very you know what I mean, that's the
33:32
stuff that they pop in for a reason. So and it's not for me.
33:36
It's not a big deal anymore. Before it was, it was because
33:39
I felt like it was something that I did wrong or I didn't do something
33:44
right. Maybe I don't look right, or I didn't feel the whatever.
33:47
There's a million different reasons that I could have found before, and now it's
33:51
like it's just not my Oh wait, that's not even about me. This
33:53
isn't mine, This isn't mine. I didn't do anything, but that would
33:58
be the process i'd go through, got it, I do something wrong?
34:00
Did I say something wrong? And then I have to remind myself. I
34:02
can't walk this whole my path and constantly worry about how someone's going to receip
34:07
me because we've had different filters, We've had different experiences in our life,
34:12
and are these people that I'm encountering are they carrying all their experiences from childhood
34:16
or are they carrying their experiences from another lifetime? And I'm going to judge
34:20
them for that? It doesn't make it just doesn't make sense anymore. So
34:22
it's just being being in a different space, being in awareness. Yeah,
34:30
yeah, judging, I mean judging yourself. I yeah. I just can't
34:37
even imagine being judged by the creator and then being condemned. You know,
34:49
it's like, wait, what because nobody in this world is going to judge
34:55
you more than you judge yourself. Ye, and that's our demise, that's
35:00
our suffering because we stay in that space of judging ourselves because of our stories
35:07
and the things that we've been through and the choices and decisions that we made
35:12
that didn't work out so good that kind of sucked the failures. And it's
35:22
again just coming back to when you shift your your your your mindset of looking
35:30
in the mirror and just be like, I'm so curious about you. I
35:36
really want to get to know you. My son, I talked to him
35:42
this morning and I had posted a picture on social media the other day of
35:51
I was dressed, but I took a picture in the full length mirror.
35:52
I was at the gym, and I just said, you know something like,
35:57
you know, showing up's the hardest part, so let's go. And
36:01
I had the comments on there of yeah, you look great and all this
36:05
stuff, right, and so he saw that, and so this morning he's
36:08
asking me. He's like, so, so it looks like you're you're doing
36:15
good on your body and everything. And I said yeah, and he goes,
36:19
so, how does that make you feel? I said, I look
36:22
in the mirror every day when I have my pants on and my bra and
36:24
I see my waist and I look in the mirror. I'm like, look
36:28
at you go. Look how awesome you're doing. You're doing great because I
36:32
had the muffin top, like the the oversized muffin top. Okay, and
36:40
it's it's like almost diminished. It's just super super exciting. And I will,
36:45
I will put my pants on, i will put my bra on,
36:49
i will look in the mirror and I'm like, look at that. Look
36:52
how well you're doing. And I give myself kudos, and I'm like,
36:53
you're doing great, You're doing amazing. You keep going, Like I give
36:59
myself that PEPTI. And I told him that. He's like, oh okay,
37:05
you know, they kind don't think he expected that reaction. And and
37:08
so that's what we got to do, Like look in the mirror and say,
37:12
wow, look at everything you've gone through and you're still here. And
37:14
look at look at how amazing you are because you made it through all that
37:19
stuff. Now let's hone in on the strengths that we have instead of focusing
37:27
on failures in the and the resentments and the guilt and the shame. Look
37:34
look at you go, Look how incredible you are. You're strong, you're
37:39
persistent. You're you're have a focus of surviving. I mean, just wow,
37:47
that's incredible. We're not taught to do that though, No, no,
37:54
not all. Mostly, I would say, especially like our ages and
37:58
maybe a little bit older. And so I got the opportunity was always there,
38:00
right. I was listening to a client this morning. She said she
38:04
was at some place where they do like they're on these ropes and everything else
38:07
and it goes from tree you know, treats the trees and all this other
38:10
stuff. And she said that she happened to be recording a video. She
38:15
was watching this five year old girl and she was showing me what this little
38:17
path looks like that she was on. And the little girl she didn't get
38:21
this part on the recording, and she's like the little girl, five year
38:23
old girl's telling herself, you got this, you got this, You're not
38:27
going to fall. You got this. Like she's talking to herself. And
38:30
she said, now, every time I think about whatever I'm going to do
38:32
or I'm going to go forward and do classes, and it's like she says,
38:36
I hear this little girl in my head saying you got this, you
38:38
got this, And it's like patting yourself on the back. You can do
38:43
this, you can do anything. And it's but it's reminding, it's talking
38:45
to that our little girl inside or our little boy inside and having that conversation
38:50
so that you know, you're you're kind of you're giving yourself the pep talk.
38:55
You're you're motivating yourself. You're recognizing your accomplishment and knowing like yes,
39:01
having that confidence. And that's that's where that it's awesome, you know,
39:05
to see a five year old and she showed me this girl like doing her
39:07
stuff and she's like really like hanging on to the rope and then walking over
39:12
and she was like pretty much on the ground, but it was it didn't
39:14
matter because for her it was huge. And I said, well, I'm
39:16
sure I would start out, but now she passed that message on and now
39:22
for me, I said, that's great. Now if we always focus on
39:23
our childhood's side. You got this, you got this, you've been doing
39:30
it, you've been doing this stuff all along. You're perfectly you're awesome.
39:32
Yeah. So I love that. I love that and I love that you
39:36
shared that too, because it's all. It's true though, and it's not
39:38
it doesn't come from an egoic place. It comes from a place of loving
39:43
and nurturing yourself. Because again we go back to the whole story. If
39:47
you're looking for it to come out from outside of yourself, good luck.
39:52
It's not always going to be that way. It's not you're not going to
39:53
receive that information. And it's really not up to another It's up to you
39:58
to support yourself. You want the universe to supports you, you want to
40:01
try to support you. Start start supporting yourself and see how the support shows
40:06
up for you. Yeah. Well, so in my job, we have
40:12
evening and evening get together once a month with other businesses. And there was
40:21
there was sixty plus people in this room in this building, probably more like
40:25
seven years. I don't even know, but there was a lot of people
40:29
in there, right, And so we have if you're if you're considered a
40:35
member, then you can share, like you know, talk a little bit
40:39
about your business or share what you know, specials you got going on or
40:45
events coming up, like you have that opportunity. And I sat there and
40:50
I watched, and then and then the announcers like, well, anybody else
40:54
in here who has something going on in their business, somebody else would go
40:59
up and I would sit there and I was just it's still that confidence.
41:02
So that little girl in me, you know, is this safe? I
41:07
don't know. I don't know if we should be doing this. I don't
41:09
know if you should be getting in front of people. You might stumble on
41:13
your words or people what you're going to All these eyes are gonna, right,
41:17
And so I sat there and I'm like, I kept just inside telling
41:22
myself it's okay, you can do it. It's okay, you can do
41:27
it. You can go up there and talk, you can It's all right.
41:30
Right. So after about the third person got up there and talked,
41:34
I'm like, okay, I'm doing this. So I got up and I
41:37
went and stood and waited and and it was great, Like here I am.
41:43
I survived, imagine that, right, But it was still that nurturing
41:47
that, you know what, nurturing that little girl and saying like we can
41:52
do this. It's okay, we're gonna We're gonna be okay, let's go
41:54
do this. So even today, like I was just a few nights ago,
42:00
and so still having to nurture myself into speaking in front of a bunch
42:07
of peers, right, and a bunch of business owners and and just the
42:15
confidence right, still working on confidence in that area, which is okay because
42:22
telling you even maybe five years ago, I would not have done that.
42:28
I would have just been like, they'll see it on social media, I'll
42:34
talk to him on the side. But I did it and I survived,
42:39
and so I was like, oh, yeah, me. And you know
42:44
what when I got up there and start talking, what happened in my head
42:47
was who gives up? Fuck? Right? Yes, It's just like what
42:57
matters is me and what I'm doing. And I'm here to help people,
43:00
and this is who it's gonna help. And they're either gonna like it,
43:04
not like it. They're gonna be interested not interested. But the fact is,
43:07
who gives a fuck? Yeah? Because that's their filter, superstar right
43:15
saying, And that's the whole thing. We got caught up and believing that
43:19
we're gonna do something so wrong and everybody's judging us so much. And I
43:22
was thinking about you when you said that you did this this time. You
43:28
had a group or you spoke for a bunch of people not that long ago,
43:30
and you were worried about or you had said you had stopped or something
43:35
or said something yeah, like class I talked just like a week and a
43:38
half ago. No, I was thinking about the bigger group that you had
43:42
a bunch of women together and you were up there talking. And to me,
43:45
it's like when we can when we can falter, or we can say
43:50
the wrong word or say something else and then still keep going forward. Man,
43:54
it's such a it's it's it lets other people, It lets me know
43:58
like, hey, it's okay, it's okay. Just like you said,
44:01
we could go through all the editing. I mean, you could do all
44:04
the stuff and then I could come in and edit all that stuff. To
44:07
me, it's like it's true and authentic. What you get is what you
44:09
get. If we lose connection, we lose connection. If we say the
44:14
F word, we say the F word. If we have makeup on,
44:15
we have it on. If we don't, we don't. It doesn't matter.
44:17
We don't care. It's not because we don't care about people. It's
44:22
those things don't matter. What the content that we're bringing forward is, that's
44:27
what matters. If our messages resonate with you, that's what matters. Those
44:30
are the things that matter, And it would take the way we look then
44:35
just turned the video off and just listen to the audio. I mean,
44:37
there's around that is right, feel free and right. We're good with it.
44:44
But that's the whole thing, all that stuff, it doesn't really matter
44:46
if we get caught up in the fact that it does. And now it's
44:50
for us to be those ripples, not just for us, but for all
44:52
our peers and people that are around us, but also for the kids,
44:57
because I don't I don't want them to hide their light either, do you
45:00
know what I mean. We've take my grandkids and we're hiking up through like
45:02
the wash yesterday, and they start climbing up on us area and I'm like,
45:06
oh my god, please keep them saying like I'm starting to get a
45:08
little bit. It's like steep up and I'm down here. It's like,
45:12
what do you I've got two of you. I can't just go up,
45:14
you know. I I well, there's only one grandma, and you guys
45:16
are both climbing up and you guys are freaking me out, you know.
45:19
And it's like I'm like praying, okay, angels, you guys got your
45:22
hands full today. Yeah right, And then I'm like and then I'm telling
45:24
them maybe you shouldn't do that, and it's like, I don't but I
45:28
don't want to quash them. I don't want I don't want to because we've
45:31
all had that thing. You know, someone might say, oh, you
45:35
don't do that, and now they planned this, this sphear into their mind,
45:37
and that fear may stop them from doing so many things in life.
45:43
It's there's got to be a different way, and the different way is kind
45:45
of what we're bringing forward. Just be you. We're not we're not getting
45:50
out of here alive, guys. I mean, we're gonna be alive,
45:52
but we're not gonna get out of here taking the bodysuits. We're gonna probably
45:57
drop them off wherever we're at and that's it. Maybe you can get another
46:00
duplicate later on. I don't know. I don't know how that works because
46:02
I don't remember. So, but it's not that we just get so caught
46:07
up in everything that it's such a big deal instead of just having a good
46:10
time. Yeah, well, it's perfectionism for one. Yeah, we we
46:15
were demonstrated perfectionism, and so that kept us from doing things because it wasn't
46:22
perfect. Yeah, And like you said, you know your grandkids and they
46:29
go start climbing on something. The moment you say, don't do that,
46:34
you could fall planet a seat. Now we have a worry. Now worry
46:39
is in right, we're teaching. Oh, and they digest that. Right,
46:44
So now they're digesting the same thing that we're talking about. Everything we
46:47
think about, we talk about your bringing it about. I mean, all
46:52
of it's happening. So now I'm I'm creating it. Now, I'm creating
46:54
that dealt within them that creates that whole experience. Oh, I'm not going
46:59
to and what's the next happens? Yeah, So it's just being in that
47:01
space and just watching them be there. Next time. Maybe I'll put a
47:05
roper on their waist. I don't know, but you know there's ways to
47:08
there's ways to monitor. Yeah, and at the same time let them fall.
47:14
Yeah, now they know their limits. Who is it for us to
47:20
decide that we're going to create their bound their limits for them? I mean,
47:24
is it your job to keep them safe? Yeah? They're little,
47:28
So maybe just set it up. Hey, you know you're you're climbing up
47:31
this deep thing and think about are you okay up there? And right,
47:39
just kind of coaching them through it instead of just flat out that's not safe.
47:45
Don't do that. You might fall, and you know what, they
47:50
might not. They might not, and they might create something or find something
47:54
or who knows like it, and it might just feel more confidence for them,
47:59
right, you know what I mean? Yeah, And that's the same
48:01
for all of us too. So it's like the more and more you get
48:05
up in front of people, the more and more you talk. And I'm
48:07
telling you this stuff because you know, I got to do all that stuff.
48:08
Eventually it'll come about, okay, So settle down, you just calm
48:12
down. You tell me I don't like gratitude. I no, you need
48:17
to stop. But I'm just saying, we're all going to be We've got
48:24
to have these experiences, and even as an adult, because somebody else has
48:28
told us something along those lines, you know it, and it made us
48:30
fearful. Oh got you? Maybe you don't want to go up and say
48:34
anything because everybody's watching you right now, and if you would, if you
48:37
mess up, or and then that plants a seed, then you decide you
48:38
don't want to. Or you hear someone else talking about, oh god,
48:42
I should never have done that. I went up there, made such an
48:45
ass and did you? Probably not, or maybe who knows. But it's
48:50
like it's we make such a big deal about it. It goes back to
48:52
the same thing, having fun with it, having fun with it and not
48:55
taking it all so personal. Just going out there and sharing yourself and then
49:00
everybody can receive you however they can receive you, and it's awesome. And
49:06
then you get to watch them flourish and build their own confidence and evolve and
49:10
climb up a steep mountain or something. You know, it's it's all this
49:15
whole process, and it's like you never know what you're gonna find. It's
49:17
all it's all divine, it's all perfect, no matter where we want to
49:22
be at, no matter what we want to do. And you want to
49:24
know, I want to add to this because this is this is another gauge
49:29
for myself. Is I would say all but maybe one, possibly two people
49:36
who used the microphone that night. Couldn't hardly hear them. They weren't talking
49:40
into the microphone, couldn't hardly hear them. I was sitting in the back
49:45
of the room. I'm like, what that, What do they say?
49:51
What are they doing? Like? I could not hear them, And so
49:58
I got up there. I made sure they heard me, And I tell
50:00
you what, when those people are talking that you can't hardly hear. What
50:04
do you think everybody else is doing? Not everybody, but most other people
50:07
are doing, not even paying attention, having their own conversations, making noise.
50:14
Right, I got up that microphone. I spoke into that microphone,
50:17
and everybody turned and was looking at me. I'm like, there you go,
50:22
girl, look at you go. I love it. Every time you
50:25
say that, it's like I feel like my heart. There's a couple of
50:29
times now and I've never had this experience before, but I feel my throat
50:31
and my heart and it's like it's like this open thing. Every time you
50:36
say that and I feel it and I get goosebumps. It's like so awesome.
50:39
Yes, yes, yes, you know, an egoic thing of I
50:45
like with commanding the room and coming from me. If you if you would
50:50
have known me, so don't gauge yourself on where I'm at and compare me
50:53
to you right now, then I'm not necessarily talking about I'm talking to audiences.
51:00
If you would have known me back in the day when I was introverted,
51:06
I wouldn't even I wouldn't even even thought the thought would not even cross
51:10
my mind to get up there at that microphone. I would have just sat
51:15
there and listened to everybody else. So for me, yeah, yes,
51:22
cocktail please, yeah, liquid courage. That's what it took. Every single
51:29
time. That's the only time I've ever done karaoke, with one exception,
51:32
and it was because of a class that we were a highly encouraged to do
51:40
karaoke for this class that's a whole nother story. But all the other times
51:47
completely annihilated to get up and do karaoke and with other people, not by
51:54
myself of course. So to be up there and to have every every person's
52:00
eyes on me and having like seriously having that sensation of I have command of
52:08
this room right now, that's just saying that is mind blowing to me.
52:15
Right now. I'm just like wait, what wait? Did I do that?
52:22
So exciting, super exciting, great indicator of where I'm at. Yeah,
52:30
Like the old version of you would have looked at you and like,
52:34
what are you doing right now? Wait? Why are you having command?
52:37
For before it had been for me, it would have been like this.
52:42
My back would have been behind and then I'd be in the microphone. Okay,
52:44
guys, that's the only way I've been talking to you because it's like
52:47
I didn't want to make eye contact with people. I didn't want to see
52:51
them. Mm hmm. Yeah. So's it's awesome. It's it's awesome,
52:57
right, And you know what, it's possible for everybody. It's possible to
53:01
be in that power, to be empowered, to have that confidence, to
53:07
have that ability to be grounded in your body and show up. Everybody has
53:15
that opportunity. Yeah, and here is what I get to do. I
53:21
get to be an example. I love it because I know where I came
53:27
from. People who know me today don't know where I came from. They
53:31
got to know it by through my story. But people who knew me back
53:35
in the day they know. And you know what, those people, most
53:39
of them are not in my circle. In fact, I can't tell you
53:45
of any other than my husband not in my circle. But family, family,
54:00
those people, but they get to see they got to see, you
54:06
know, like my mom and some other family members who know me well,
54:10
they've gotten to see me go through these changes and they got they get to
54:15
see me where I was and where I am and and so those are the
54:22
people. Don't take my word for I'll give you their name and number.
54:24
You can call them and ask them about me. Like things I talk about,
54:30
I'm not making them up. So I get excited when I get those
54:36
indicators of how well I'm doing because they are huge, huge accomplishments for myself.
54:45
They really are. And it's you get there from awareness, yep,
54:49
and celebration, right, celebrating those moments. Just like you said, I
54:52
took command of that room or control that the whole you did. You took
54:57
control of the whole thing, and it's like you had the opportunity right now.
55:00
It's it's just I love it. I'm so proud of you. Thanks.
55:06
I mean, it's just like, she's so funny, it's awesome.
55:19
So any final words, what do you got? I got have a magnificent
55:24
week. It's it's like, brace yourselves, but have a great time at
55:29
the same time because it's just fun. It's just fun. Yeah. Really,
55:36
it's an experience. It's just an experience. Everything's just an experience.
55:40
It's it's what story are you putting into it to perceive it as, whether
55:46
it's negative or positive. And you can change the story, right, Yes,
55:52
But I was born and I was a princess and I had everything always
55:55
going my way and everything why not? Why not? It can be whatever
55:59
you wanted to be, whatever brings you joy to me. I feel like
56:02
that's the best way to go. Write it down as if you're the princess
56:07
or the king or the whatever, and how your life, how everything will
56:10
be, how fun with it? And then see what starts happening. Yeah,
56:16
yep, all right, my friends, Well tea time with Amy and
56:22
Bev bringing you content of all kinds of stuff. And the best thing is
56:30
our organic conversations because we seriously do not have an agenda. We never know
56:36
what we're gonna talk about. Ever, I don't know that than three oh
56:42
what three and a half years that we've ever had a plan for a conversation.
56:46
No, And several times we've just showed up and we're like, I
56:50
don't know what we're gonna talk about, and you're like, I don't either.
56:52
But and then as soon as the camera goes on, it just happened.
56:58
So our souls come out like camera zone, camerason, let's show up
57:02
now. That's right. I'm so worried about what to talk about. We
57:07
already know they're so silly. Oh, gosh, if only they would trust
57:15
us even more. And then they're like, well, if you would just
57:21
listen more, Bev, no problems will be right there for you, right
57:24
right, Hi, my friends, tea time with Amy and Bev. Share
57:29
us with your friends, your family, your co workers, even your enemy,
57:31
because somebody is there there that would benefit from hearing what we talk about.
57:36
And and some people have these conversations on the down low. So you
57:42
know, by you uh, sharing what you're learning from us or any other
57:50
conversations that you might listen to other podcasts, share because that helps get the
57:55
get the information out there. And so not just with the US, any
58:00
content that you feel resonates with you share it. And actually by sharing it
58:07
it helps you retain it even for a longer period of time. So there's
58:10
benefit in all of it. So and we're not a secret. So you
58:15
know it's okay that you say, hey, go watch it or listen to
58:19
this podcast because these two people show up and they talk about stuff, sometimes
58:24
weird stuff, but it's okay, no judgment, that's right. They'll be
58:30
judging us, We ain't judging you. So all right, friends Design with
58:37
Amienbab, thanks for watching. They're listening, and we'll see you next time. Bye.