Latest / GenX Adulting Podcast / Episode 35 - GenZ Series: Ali

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Episode 35 - GenZ Series: Ali · GenX Adulting Podcast

• 0:00
  [Music]Welcome to GenX Adulting and today we haveAli with us. Welcome to the studio.Thanks for having me.We're very happy to have you. Our firstquestion is always, when were you born?1998.1998. So you are a Gen Z and you are partof that cusp microgeneration that is also a Zillennial.Have you heard of that?I have not.So, really? Okay. So the Zillennials,basically they're the small microgeneration that grew up pretty technologyfree as far as phones and social media.And that stuff is more introduced in latemiddle school, high school.So you guys really got the privilege ofhaving a childhood that did not involvesocial media and did notinvolve that 24-7 access of phones.And then you also got the privilege ofexperiencing the birth of all that.You know, when you were probably more of amature age and can handle it versus theyoung Gen Z's and the Gen Alpha's now,which are social media kids.Yeah. So you kind of got the best of bothworlds. I always say you had a bit of anold fashioned upbringing where social mediawasn't present whenyou're 8, 9, 10 years old.You can probably relate to the youngermillennial generation and also to Gen Z'sthat are a few years younger than you.So you kind of have a foot in eachgeneration a littlebit. Does that make sense?Yeah, that does make sense. I think I'dagree with that, especiallybecause we talk about social media.I was on social media probably around 14years old on Facebook.I was the primary social media back then.But I think the differencewas it wasn't on my phone.So my first phone, I got my first phonewhen I was 13 and it was aNokia that could call my parents.That's all I had on there.
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  I had the gameSnake on there. That's about it.But if I wanted to go on social media, I'dhave to be at home on my laptop.And that was Facebook, right?You were after the MySpace, right?I did not have MySpace.I think that cut off and thenthe older Gen Z's was Facebook.And then Snapchat, I don't think, andInstagram, that was more what, high school?I think I got Instagramaround 10th grade, I would say.So I was 15, 14, 15.Yeah, and even Instagram backthen was a little different.I was posting picturesof my meals and a view.It changed a lot.And I went back a few years ago just to seeall the stuff I used topost and my old posts,make sure there'snothing on there that's cringy.When you're going into getting a job,starting a career, etc., you want to makesure you cover your tracksfrom anything you may havedone when you're just too mature.It was interesting.It was all stuff with filters and it'slike, here's the sunset, here's a pictureof my food, things like that.But now it's just, it feels like mostlypictures of people and things like that.I think it's interesting howit's evolved from the beginning.And then even Facebook, I don't think youguys would be caught deadposting updates on Facebook now.But when it first came out, I think a lotof your age expressed themselves like,what is it called?Where you post like how you're feelingtoday or whatever it is.I think in the beginningyou guys utilized that, right?Very much so.Yeah.And it was especiallynot having the phones.When I look at it now, because on Facebook,it'll give you updates.You posted this 10 years agotoday or 12 years ago today.And it just feels like youwould go to school at that age,spend the whole day and come back with somethought or some idea, happy aboutsomething, pissed off aboutsomething, whatever it may be.And then you just come and you drop that onsocial media, just unprovoked.And I do send some of those posts to ourgroup chat with like me,Nathan and a bunch of our friends.And it was like, God, I was a shithead.I would just post anything and everything,whether it's about my teacher, how I felt,my coach, sports team, whatever it is.And look back and you're like, yeah, howbig it is probablyshouldn't be posting all that stuff.No.And that's where I think it can becomedangerous, especially for the younger kidsnow that and especially with TikTok, likethey're posting a bunch orthey're reposting things.And it can be a very deepemotional moment for them.And they repost a video about it.And then like 48 hours later, they're fine.But then that repost is coming up and alltheir friends feeds and their friends arelike, oh, my God, are they okay?But it's so fleeting.All those emotions are so fleeting whenyou're an adolescent and justthe heaviness of the effect of it.And at least with Facebook, I think when itfirst came out, you could post stuff aboutyour teachers and coachesand no one was coming at you.But now people people will come for you.Yeah, you know, the kids, if they postthings about teachers, coaches, anythingabout drinking, like you can'tput anything up about partying.It affects even getting into college, whichI don't think you guyshad to deal with that worry.I did not know.I wasn't even the thought, honestly, goinginto college never had anything like toobad on there was more so like you said,going through puberty, especially as a as aboy turning into a man.I don't know how it is on the other side,but I imagine it's similar.It's a lot of brutal, right?It's getting pissed off at absolutelynothing, being overly excited about stufflike posting your celebrity crushes as a asa young boy, things like that.Right. But then never was a thought goinginto college or applying for that until myfreshman year, from my personal experience,was when I joined a fraternity and they'relike, all right, this shit's going tofollow you around everywhere.We need to go on thereand scrub everything.That's excellent.And that was something thatwas common for my fraternity.I think it was a commonality across mostfraternities, but it's like, all right,you're eventuallygoing to want to get a job.You were 15 at one point, 14, go on thereand anything bad, take it off.Wow. That was such a service to you guys.Yeah. Yeah, that's excellent.Okay.So do you what would you say is yourprimary social media you use now Instagram?And what about Snapchat?No, I just deleted itprobably four or five months ago.Do you find that your peers don't useSnapchat like they used to?I find that most what was going on onSnapchat for me was the groupchats that we made in college.And it's just a way tostay in touch with everyone.So I had a couple on Snapchat and that'swhat it was used forversus when I was in college.It was like a means of communication,sending pictures, which Ifelt like declined a lot.Right, right.How do you guys communicate now then viajust text no longer Snapchat?Yeah, that's mostly on Instagram.It's a lot of sending DMS likevideos post things like that.We'll have groups onInstagram, but it's mostly text.FaceTime has gotten a lot bigger as well.Really?All close friends.It's usually FaceTime.So you guys will text and FaceTime.Yes.But not just do the traditional phone callsometimes, but most often it's FaceTime.Like I don't think I speak to Nate on thephone unless it's FaceTime.That's so interesting.That is so interesting.So it's kind of evolved where it startedwith maybe Snapchat and posting on Facebookand putting pictures ofyour food on Instagram.And then as you grow and mature, you arenow into how quote unquote more adultscommunicate as far as texting and using thephone to talk even if it's FaceTime.Yeah.You know, as you get older,that's really interesting.Okay.Where were you born?I was born in Manhattan, New York.Oh, I didn't know that.I didn't know that.All right.So how did your parents meet?My parents were lived downthe street from each other.So their families knew each other sincethey were very, veryyoung, went to the same school.And where is this?Casablanca, Morocco.Okay.So your family is from Casablanca, Morocco.Yes.And your parents live down the street fromeach other in Morocco.Went to the same school fromyoung age from elementary school.Really?And were they friends?They were friends.My parents started, I don't know if thewords dating, but showing interest in eachother very young age.Like my dad always tells me a story wherehe used to have either soccer practice ormy dad was a handball goalie.So like the sport handball and he wouldhave practice and my mom would leaveschool, go up home, bring him back food forhis like to have afterpractice, things like that.So very young age.Okay.So that, yeah, I wouldsay that she liked him.Yes.Very much so.Is handball a sport common in Morocco?Not too common.No, I don't know how we got into it.And being a handball goalie is veryinteresting because you just stand thereand people just throw a ball at you.Yeah.And you try to catch it with your hands.Block it, catch it.Catch it.Whatever you need to do just to make sureit doesn't go in the goal.They kind of tee off on you, right?Yeah.Yeah.Very much so.I've never heard of handball.Yeah.Yeah.It's semi dangerous.So how would you, is it like soccer, butyou're using your hands?Exactly right.And so you're basicallycan pinch it at the goalie.Exactly.Oh my gosh.Yeah.Was he just padded up?No pads.No, I don't.What about helmet?No helmet.No helmet, no pads.Is that a Moroccan thing or isthat general with that sport?It's an international sport.Yeah.That's just the rules.So it's just, wow.Yeah.So no one's wearing pads.No.If you think about it, it's probably maybenot in his case, butit's a very inexpensivesport.You can play anywhere on any playgroundwithout any money or facilities, right?Yeah.So it's just raw.That's exactly right.Yeah.And that's why soccer is so bigbecause all you need is a ball.Yeah.Like growing up in Morocco, when we used toplay soccer, we used to use like two rocksfor each goal and a soccerball playing on the street.And the area I lived in, my friends inMorocco were pretty,pretty well off, pretty wealthy.Right.So they had the means, but that was justthe appeal to the sport.You didn't need much.You just needed a ball and a couple of guysat low barrier of entry.And you could just set it up and go up.Okay.It's playing.So, so they met, or theygrew up together basically.Now we're their parents, friends, sincethey lived down the street from each other.I'm not sure.It's a good question.Okay.Because that's your grandparents.Right.So, and then did they have siblings?Yeah.My mom is one of sevenand my dad's one of eight.Wow.I may be wrong on my dad's side, but I'mpretty sure it's eight.Do you know where theyfall in the birth order?My mom is, I think third or fourth oldest.Okay.My dad, I'm not sure.And are their siblings still alive?All siblings were still alive.Wow.Yes.My dad lost a sister.Okay.And do they all live in Morocco?They, on my mom's side, everyone lives inMorocco except my aunt who lives in Tampa.That's who I lived with when I first movedhere, St. Petersburg, actually.And my dad's side, all in Morocco.Yeah.Wow.Okay.So you have a lot of family in Morocco.A lot of family.So they grew up pretty much together.When did they get married?Like how old were they?Do you know?I don't know how old they were.I think they got married in 91.91.Maybe 92.Okay.Did they go to college in Morocco or is itcalled a college in Morocco?Yeah, it is.I don't know.I don't think my mom went to college.Think my dad did some sort of secondaryschool after high school.Do you know what he studied?He was studying finance because he workedat a bank after that.Okay.Did he study finance?Did they get marriedwhile he was in school still?Do you know?I don't believe so.Pretty positive.He was out of school.Okay.A little blurry on a lot of this stuff.Yeah.And then the investigator here.And then did they lived inMorocco though together in Morocco?But then they got married in Morocco.Got married in Morocco, lived in Morocco.1994.They had my older brother, Hamza.In Morocco?In Morocco.And they had gone to visit St. Petersburgat some point when theywere married and that'swhat caused them to move here.My mom really liked it.My dad really liked it.So they relocated here.Okay.So they just randomlytook a trip to Florida.And but how?They may have been there honeymoon.Oh, interesting.That's an important note.You're seeing Petersburg, Florida, notseeing Petersburg, Russia.Yes.There's a lot of peoplethat listen from everywhere.Yeah. St. Petersburg, Florida.Okay.So might have been there honeymoon.Okay.So how did you getborn in Manhattan though?What's the tie there?They, I hope this doesn't get them introuble, but they hadfriends there in New York andthey went over there when my mom waspregnant with the idea ofwe have this kid in the US.He's going to be an American citizen.Probably make his life a lot easier.And that's what happened.They had me.I was in New York for probably two months,maybe shorter than that.I'm not really entirely sure.And then we came back to Casablanca andthen I was in Casablancafor about a year or two.And then I moved over to St. Petersburg.That's where we officially moved.So do you have dual citizenship?No, I'm an American American citizen.Yeah.I need to get my Moroccan citizenship.It's just, is that challenging to do?Okay.So you could have it.Yeah.I have a Moroccan birth certificate.I just need to get apassport and like an ID card.Reason I didn't get it last time.It's a little bit of a process.You got to go a littlebit out of town to get it.And I was only there for two weeks.Last couple of times I've gone.So let's enjoy our time instead of.Right.Right.Dealing with that.Moroccan bureaucracy.Okay.So for people who've never been to Morocco,how would you describe it?Morocco is a beautiful place.I'll start with that.Plenty of different types of areas.What I mean by that is on the Northerncoast, you have the Mediterranean.So similar to a lot ofthe Mediterranean countries.Right.And then on the otherside, it's the Atlantic.So you have a lot of coastal areas.Then you go inland.There's mountain ranges, the AtlasMountains, known Morocco.And then when you gosouth, there's the desert.So there's a littlebit of everything, right?Yeah.We have snow, we have the desert, we havethe beach and that kind of climate.So there's plenty to do there.Morocco as kind of like a cultural place.It's a mix of Arabic Muslim culture andsome European and evenAmerican influence, I'dsay mostly European, because it wascolonized by Portugaland France and in Spain.Right.So that left remnantsof that kind of culture.So it's pretty interesting when you look atsome of the other Muslim countries that area lot more traditional and culturally just100 percent through andthrough Muslim comparedto Morocco, where it's alittle more easy going.Mostly everyone's still Muslim, but alittle more laid back.So women don't have to be covered.No, they don't have to be.A lot of them are.A lot of them aren't.A lot of the younger generation isn't.But like if you're a Moroccan woman thereand you're not coveredand you're wearing somethingyou'd see a woman wearing here, no one'sgoing to say anything to you.It's normal.OK.Would you say women are held to as high ofa steam in Morocco as they are in America?Like they're just as safe and they can walkaround on their own in Morocco?I would say so.OK.Yeah.And then it's it's notreally a safety thing.It's more of a cultural thing where it'slike, well, you shouldn'tbe out by yourself walkingaround.Right.Like you should most likely be with a man.A lot of women also view themselves alittle differently from that aspect.Like I'm not just going to go out and doall this stuff like a man would do.I'm a woman.I'm going to take care of myself.I'm getting married.Having a family is a big thing over there.Very important.But I don't think there's any like fear orrisk or anything from that angle.And so it's still very traditional.Yes.Traditional values.Traditional values for sure.And then you said there'sEuropean and some American influences.That mean there's European and Americansthat live in Morocco.Yeah.And do they live live in like is it kind ofsegregated or is it all mixed together?All mixed together.And when you're in Morocco, do you feel allof those influences as you're going aroundthe areas that still feel very, I guess,Muslim or more themajority of what the populationis?You definitely feelthe influence in the mix.For example, French, everyone in Moroccospeaks French, mostly everyone in Moroccospeaks French.OK.And it's kind of like it's funny.It's kind of like a signaling thing.So the families that are wealthy and theirkids go to private schools, etc., the kidsmostly speak French.OK.That's why I learnedFrench when I went there.But there's definitely a large mix.And you see it a lot with my generation asthey grow up, they go to college overseas.I feel that there's a lot more.European and American tendencies that theypick up, whetherthey're positive or negative,then you would see an older generations.Now, is there acollege there or university?There's plenty. Yeah.Really. So how how big would you how wouldyou compare it the size of Morocco?Like if you're going to compare it to astate, it's about 40 million people.OK. Wow. And sizing wise, if you count theSahara, which you should,it's probably the size of Californiasomewhere around there.OK. Yeah, I may be wrong on that, but I'mpretty sure it's kind of kind of runsvertical like that. Yeah, exactly. Sameshape, similar shape.Yeah. And then you mentioned like sothere's some wealthyareas and then are therevery really poor areas,too, just like anywhere, right?Just like anywhere. But there's it's worsethan you would see here in the US.Like there's areas thatbarely have running electricity,may or may not have water kind of just likeshacks that people have built.But every time I've gone back to Moroccosince I moved here from Morocco in 2014,that's been slowly and slowly gettingeliminated and they're buildingthe government's building apartments,things like that, to put people up inand get them out of thoselike shacks and things like that.It's an eyesore.
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  It's toughto see the people living there.So they've been really combating that.I think they've more orless been pretty successful.That's great. So what isthe government system there?Is it like here where you vote for a leaderevery four years or how does it compare?It's it's a monarchy.So it's the royal family.They have a king. OK.After the king, his son becomes king. OK.After him, his son becomes king.And they're running theshow. They're running everything.Yeah, there's elected officials that rundifferent parts of the government.But at the end of the day, the king is thethe ruler, the leader,and he can influence or change or makeanything that he wantsto do as he sees fit.So it's not like in Britain where themonarchy is more kind of at this point,like for tourism or anything else, but theyhave a totally system,totally different systemrunning the show in Morocco.It's not it's not ademocracy. Right.
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  Right.So is there a lot ofcorruption, do you think?There's definitely a lot of corruption.Yeah, there's a lot of corruption.And it's it's interesting because a lot ofthe corruption that you seeis within the elected officials.So they get elected and then they leantowards corruption,which is very interesting.From the king side, I don'tthink there has been much corruptionor anything that the people have beennecessarily upset about.It's very, very interestingto see the love and respectthat he gets as a ruler that wasn't chosenand is just he's going to be the ruleruntil he passes away.And so people revere the family. Yes.And and I'm sure that that family hascreated a lot of pride from Iraq.Yes, very much so, especially this.I don't want to say new king because he wasthe king when I was born,probably became king in 98 or maybesomewhere around there.But he has been a verybig proponent of kindof similar what the rest of the world'sdealing with globalization,bringing in foreign companies, bringing inlike expanding Morocco across Africaand just making the economy thrive more,bringing in more options for companies,jobs, whatever it is, and growing thecountries from an economic standpoint.And I think you see that now where it'sflourished, where Morocco isnumber one country in Africa, pretty mucheverything runs through Morocco.Wow. I would say, yeah.And it's definitely a reasonfor that is the Arab Springand all of the stuff that happened with allof those governments being overthrown.That never happened in Morocco.The king stayed, neverreally had any big issues.But yeah. So what are the industries?But what would you say themain industries are in Morocco?I wouldn't be able tospeak about that much.Honestly, I'd probably be guessing I knowtourism is probably top three.I would say. Yeah.But other than that, notnot really too familiar.What is the main food?Main food, are we alot of different things?I mean, lamb is big over there.Cow, so like steak,ground beef, all that stuff.Chicken, fish, a lot of fish.And we have our traditional dishes, right?Like tagine is a very popular.If you go there, definitely try it.It's a variation of meats, right?It's the tagine is themechanism it's cooked in.So it's kind of like a clay slow cookerthat you put over a fire.And then inside of it, you put any type ofveggies with a protein.So like a very common one, they'll put likea lamb shank in therewith like apricots.That sounds like so good. Yeah.It's like a sweet sauce.That's big chicken andpotatoes in the tagine.That's big.And then they have a lotof other traditional stuff.Bastilla, that's a big one.It's like a little pastry that they willstuff either with seafoodor chicken and almonds.Sweeter one.Couscous every Friday.That's a tradition.
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  Why on Friday?I should know, but I don't.So every Friday, every Friday,you can get couscous everywhere.Or it's made in thehome to made in the home.But restaurants have it on the menu andthey only serve it on Friday.Really? Yeah.That is so interesting.What about a dessert?Is there a certaindessert that's from that area?Like I know for me,being Armenian, it's baklava.Like that's one of them.But see, we are more MiddleEastern like pilaf and hummus.But I don't is Moroccolean that way at all?Not as much now.And I think that's a common misconception.Yeah, because I wouldhave had that misconception.Yeah. OK. You can get that.A lot of places in Morocco, very common.People eat it a lot, butit's not the traditional,traditional food.That is so interesting.From a dessert standpoint, I don't know.We have these little pastries.Everything's honey based.Really, really good.But it's interesting.
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  I canMorocco when you say dessert,desserts coming out, they'rebringing out a plate of fruit.Oh, OK. So my entire life after the meal,we bring out bananas, apples,oranges, like cut out watermelon,depending on the fruit,bananas, apples not cut up.Watermelon is cut up.Candelope, all types of melons.And just depending on what's in season,it's not like here where,of course, we have seasons for fruits here,but you can get the fruitany time of year you wantit more or less over there.It's very segmented by season.So like summer, you'reeating watermelon, et cetera.OK. Is most of the fruitgrown in Morocco that you know?OK. Yeah.Is there a particular drink that's tea?See, like a Moroccan tea, mint based.But he's huge.Like you go to someone'shouse, they're making tea.So almost like aBritish vibe in a way kind of.And it's a little different.It's a little different.I know. Yeah.Moroccan tea. It's it's our tea.It's different. It'sthe Moroccan specialty.Does it have caffeine oris it more of an herbal tea?OK, that definitely does.And coffee, coffee is huge.And I'm sure Moroccan coffee is amazing.Very good. Yeah. Yeah.
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  Very good.And it's it's interesting because.You'll have dinner at nine p.m.And they'll bring out coffee afterwards.It's very, very interesting.And then are you up then?Like now it doesn't affect you.No, like when.
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  Perfect.When our friends, whenlike me, Ben, Mack, Jesus,shout out to all the guysall came to Morocco with me.They were like, what are we doing?Like we'd have dinner at nine.We're drinking coffee at 10 p.m.And my entire family,there's like 40 people in the room.We're all drinking coffee. Wow.They're all confused.Like, what is this?And then afterwards, like, allright, guys, we're going to bed.Doesn't it doesn't.Well, probably it'ssuch a part of the culture.Their bodies are used to it.I don't have the right.So then if dinner is later,then is everyone kind ofsleeping in and breakfast is later?Are people up at an early time still evenif they're going to bed later?People are up at an early time.I would say similar things.Work starts to eight.
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  OK.I'm very similar.
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  But yeah,me in town, my friends in town, right.So everything was slightly delayed.We were just getting together and joiningour. Yeah. Yeah.
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  Relaxing.Exactly. So is the culture among Moroccans?Do they try to marry other Moroccans?Is it kind of looked downupon to not marry Moroccan?It depends who you ask.OK, it's not looked down upon.I don't think by any means.But. Your mom and yourdad want you to bring them.OK, my mom says that to me all the time.Like, where do you think I'mgoing to meet Moroccan women?Yeah. Yeah.It's not a Moroccan stop where I can go.All right. Here's abunch of great Moroccan womenthat I can introducemyself to and get to know.But it's it definitely is.And especially you got tounderstand it from the perspectivethat it's a communication thing.Like my brother ismarried to an American woman.Her family is half white, Caucasian,American and half from Guyana.So she knows my mom, my family very well.She's the mother of my nephew.But. It's a communicationbarrier when she goes over there.My mom, it's easier over textbecause my mom can translate,send back a text in Arabic.She'll translate, sendback a text in English.Yeah. But it's a communication thing.Yeah, that makes sense.That makes a lot of sense.OK, so your parents move over to Floridaand you're a baby, right?What one, two? Yeah.And just them, they didn'tknow anyone in St.
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  Petersburg.They had some friends in St. Petersburg,but I don't know if they met them there.They had a couple of Moroccanfriends or if they just happenedto come around the same time.How did do you know how your family reactedto them leaving like their parents?It's a great question.I honestly have no idea.Yeah, I'm wondering if itwas a big deal at the time.I probably was.Because if everyoneelse is still there, even.Yeah, that would have been such a break.Like what courage on their part to kind ofbreak away and go on this adventureand leave all this family, all thistradition, all thisculture to move to America.Do you know if there was a certainmotivation in that or was it reallyjust wanting to have thatexperience of living over here?I'm honestly not entirely sure.I'd imagine there wassome sort of motivation.I mean, you can make a lot more money here.That's for sure.You can set your familyup for a lot better life.And it's not too difficult tocome here and make normal moneyand be able to support people in Moroccobecause everything's a lot cheaper.So that may have played a factor into it.It may have just beenlooking for a better education or.A better life for their kids, not to saythat life in Morocco is toughor difficult from wherethey were at in their lives.But yeah, honestly, I'm not sure.These are all just thoughts that I wouldthink if I was in their position,things that I would look at as positives.And then did your dad get ajob as soon as he got over here?He owned a business.
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  Yeah.What was his business?He owned a gas station food spot.Oh, nice. Very typical.No, but that's lucrative.It is very lucrative.Was your mom a stay at home mom? Yes.And so she raised yourbrother and you in St.Petersburg and yourdad had the gas station.Yes. So she worked at mydad's restaurant in Moroccowhen my brother was a baby.So my dad owned in their neighborhood.He owned the restaurant andthen he owned a convenience storelike a corner store.So he's an entrepreneur.Yeah, he's always been an entrepreneur.OK, so when he got outof the school for finance,did he go right into starting a business?He was he was at the bank. Right.And then from there, did heopen his first business?
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  Yes.In Morocco. Yeah. OK.Open businesses with friends, family.And it started off as the restaurant.That was something that he didthroughout his time in Morocco,even when we went back restaurant business.At certain points, he had multiple.And then my mom wouldwork in the restaurant.She worked in the convenience store, kindof just wherever she she seemed.She saw fit and she wasraising my brother at that time.And then when I was born, that was it.She was just a stay at home mom.So I think I know one of the reasons thatyour parents moved to your dadhas an entrepreneurial spirit.I didn't say entrepreneurial spirit.America, right? Yep.Like this is where if you have especiallyfor that spirit, it'sgoing to flourish here.Yeah. So I bet that hadsomething to do with it.He's like, I can do this here.I can probably make even moremoney over in America doing thisbecause he had that talent. Yeah.That natural talent.If I would guess, I wouldsay so. Yeah, that makes sense.You're giving me a lot of great questions.I know this is awesome.Because a lot of these things you don't askyour parents growing up.Yeah. And then you're like,I've never thought about this.When you ask them, record it.OK. Yeah, that's my advice.I do have a question before we go too far.Is there a Moroccan community here?And then the more importantly, are thereany good Moroccan restaurants in the area?There is an incredible Moroccan restaurantright down the streetfor me in Morocco called Zuri.If you're ever in Miami, Miami, Miami.Sorry. In Miami.If you're ever downthere, highly recommend it.Some French guy came over here from Franceand opened their from Moroccoand opened it.Moroccan community in Florida.I'm not too sure you go to Boston where Ilived for a little bit.Yeah. Yeah. Plenty of Morocco. OK.New York. Same thing.I'm sure we're everywhere.Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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  Yeah.Have you met anyone in SouthFlorida that's Moroccan?
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  Yeah.Our friend, Sarain, me andNathan's friend, he's Moroccan.OK. OK. I met some Moroccan people, Miami.Any ladies?No, no. Not that you know of.Right. I know. It's so hard in Miamibecause you're like, you can't be like,oh, you look Moroccanbecause you're not sure. Right.I can see someone andtell them, oh, you can.And very, very funny.
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  And it's very easy.Like I can see last time this happened tome, a waiter was just walking by my tableand I called him over and Igo, you're Moroccan.
• 32:56
  Yes, I am.It's I don't know whatit is. It's very easy.That's so interesting.And my brother is the sameway. My cousins are the same way.They'll see someoneout. They won't even speak.And they're like, you'reMoroccan. Wow. That's fine.It's like a little special talent you have.They're like a superpowerMoroccan super. I guess so.I guess so. You're like,you're one of us. Yeah, I can tell.So how long did theylive in St. Petersburg?About eight years.OK, so you preschool kindergarten,kindergarten, first grade.I left in first grade 2006.And so you were speakingEnglish, I assume, and French.No French. So your momdidn't keep it going at home.No, my mom spoke to me in Arabic, Arabic.So you knew Arabic and English.And did you guys attend?What it wouldn't be church, I'd be amosque, a mosque in St. Petersburg.We did. Yes. So you wereable to I'm sure speak Arabic.That's where you would speak Arabic toraise your culture was still maintained.Yeah. So it's interesting because theMoroccans, we speak the region,which is our Moroccan dialect. Mm hmm.Very hard to understand alot of other Arab countries.And it's it's funnybecause you go Morocco, Algeria.They understand us Tunisia.They understand us Libya alittle less, Egypt a little less.Each country you get over, it gets moretowards the Middle Eastand more traditional Arabic. Mm hmm.I always get jokes about that.They're like, you don't speak Arabic.I'm like, well, I canread it. So I do speak it.But our Arabic is a dialect.It's a mix of a lot of Spanish words, a lotof French words fromwhen we were colonized.Interesting. So that'swhat I speak at home.That's like if I call mybrother, that's what we're speaking.And what's it called again?Dereja Dereja. Yeah.
• 34:46
  Dereja.So it's a form ofArabic. Yeah, it's a dialect.It's a dialect of Arabic. Yeah.And so you're speakingDereja and then French.You know, Dereja and French, you know,English and, you know, Spanish, don't you?A little bit like you canget around a little bit.Yeah, I can get back.
• 35:04
  It's amazing.It's such a gift that you havethat you know these languagesbecause, you know, mostAmericans don't all because of my mom.Yeah. Yeah. She was.Well, we'll get into that.But she so she kept itgoing when you were over in St.Petersburg speaking Dereja in the home,attending the mosque.Yeah. The culture wasstill there and rich.
• 35:25
  Yeah.Why did they move back to Morocco?So one thing I wanted to say, though,before that is the mosquewas to learn how to readactual Arabic traditional.
• 35:35
  OK.So what's in the Quran,what's in the newspaper?All of that. It's not thereason it's all traditional Arabic.So that was an effort to do that andobviously to learn about our religion.And then the reason was that.And so did you learn how to read and writeit at that young of an age?Not not not great.
• 35:54
  No, I was trying.But it was very difficult.And I learned it when I got to Morocco. OK.And you were also learningEnglish because were you attendingAmerican school or Muslim school when youwere in American school, public school,public school. Yeah.So you're learning English and the Americanculture. Exactly right.And then at the same timemaintaining your Moroccan culture.That's excellent.
• 36:19
  Why didthey go back to Morocco?My mom was going back to visitfamily and on her way out,there was some visa issues.She overstayed her visa by like a day or aweek or something like that.And they were like in the airport.No, get out. No.
• 36:40
  Yeah.So so she got deported pretty much with theflight out flight to go home.And she didn't know that with the paperworkand everything probably right.She knew maybe she did.I'm pretty sure she did it.No, because I don't think shewould have shown up like that.You know what I mean?She probably would have donesomething to take care of itbefore going to an airportand having everything checked.And she was going toMorocco pretty consistently.Our family was coming to visit.I don't think it was evertheir goal to stay here full time.My mom is the biggest patriot ever.Like if I ever say anything,that's a slight to Morocco.Just sit down for 30 minutesbecause you're getting a lecture.Yeah. Yeah. Well, was it your mom and dadand you and your brother in the airport?It was my mom and maybe my aunt.I was at home. My brother wasat home. My dad was at home.She was just going home to see some family.And your aunt was visiting or lived?My I believe it was myaunt Malika who lives here.So was she living herewhen they moved here?And she moved after she moved here with us.Oh, so she moved with you.She moved here a couple of years after us,but she lived with us.OK, OK. So the sisters basically were goingback to Morocco to visit family.And that's when your momessentially got deported.Oh, my gosh, I can'timagine the trauma for her.You and your brother are home and she'sbeing sent back to Morocco.Have you ever spoken toher about that situation?Yeah, I have.She definitely resents the US for that.Yeah, it's understandable.And I mean, listen, I always say there'srules and you got to follow the rules.You can't slip up on something like that.Right. And that's my mom.We're talking about something thatdramatically changed my life.But there's rules in placeand there's a system in place.And you got to follow it, whether it was amistake or an accident.Doesn't matter on paperbecause anyone could tell you, oh,I overstayed my visa here by ayear because it was an accident.But yeah, it was tough.It was a very, very big, bigpivotal moment in all of our lives.And she understandably, from herperspective, resentedthe US for it.My dad worked here, paytaxes, had a green card.We went to school.We were a good part ofthe community, et cetera.But what year was was that 2006?OK, so in 2006, you were what six?I was eight. Eight.So I assume she tellsyour dad I'm being deported.And then did he basicallyhave to sell his gas station?And so basically your life in Americawas completely altered from that moment.Your dad had to sell his gas station.You guys were pulled from school.We're moving back to Morocco.So it was in May.OK. And end of the school year.Right. So my dad's like, we're going to govisit family in Morocco.So we got over there and we'rethere for a couple of months.And then one day my dad's like, we're goingto go look at the school.And I was young.
• 39:52
  I wasjust happy to be there.Yeah. My brother, who's fourand a half years older than me,was like 12 and a half, 13.He was just finished sixth grade.So he knows what's going on.He's like, why am I looking at a school?I have a school at home.He had friends at home.I'm on the footballteam at home, like, etc.And I was just excited.Like, oh, Morocco, I'mMoroccan. I love this.And it was just I don'tremember when they told us,but it was a while before wefound out that we were going back.So had he packed up all yourstuff and sold your house in St.Petersburg? And did you guysnot know all that was going on?No. So when we left our allof our shit was still there.And then like a few months, many monthsinto being in Morocco,we had a shipping containerdropped on our front doorstep,like a full shipping container with ourcars, our clothes, our furniture,everything. Oh, my God.And that was like the point where I waslike, oh, so much shit in the U.S.So I'm probably not going.That's pretty wild.
• 40:55
  Yeah.So did all of this happenbasically during that summer?And so by the timeschool started in Morocco,you by then did you know, OK, we're stayinghere before school started.My mom sat us down. She was like, listen,we're not going back.So how did your brother react to that?He was furious. That's middle school. Yeah.No, that's like, yeah,that's ruining my life. Yes.I don't know if he said that, but heprobably thought in middle school.They say that if you take away, you know,if you grab it, yeah, yeah.You're ruined. If you takeaway their ice cream sandwich,you're ruining their life.So I'm sure he was like lost it.Yeah, I can onlyimagine what that was like.What that's amazing.
• 41:38
  What an adjustment.Now, when you think back on you were young,but when you think back on that,is it feel fairly traumatic or becauseyou're so young, you're like,it's just what it was.It's just what it was.It wasn't really traumatic at all.It was a very, very big changeculturally, people, et cetera.But from what I remember from my familytells me, I was just happy.You were happy to be therewith my family. We're in Morocco.Yeah, this is great.But then when I hit like puberty age.Middle school beginning ofhigh school that completely.OK, so you move.What's our second grade in Morocco?I was supposed to startsecond grade. I got to Morocco.I took the test to get intoschool and then they were like,you're not second grade level.You should be in third grade.So I skipped the second.
• 42:26
  Oh, interesting.OK, so you're so thirdgrade, but second grade agefor those elementaryschool formative years.Did you did they have sports or anything?Did you play like organizedsports? What did you play?I played soccer, basketball, volleyball.Yeah, that's it in track and field.OK, so I went to when I moved over there, Iwent to an American private schooland I had 15 kids in my grade.And your grade in my entire grade and those15 kids I grew up with.So every year, plus orminus two to five people.Those were the kids that were in my grademy entire life in Morocco.Wow. So with that size of aschool, we had our own conferencewhere we played sportsagainst other American schools.There was two others in Casablanca, one inRabat, which is the capital.One in Marrakesh is a very big city andthen a couple others across the country.That's who we played sports against.Were they were they expats or Moroccancitizens sending theirkids to American schools?It was everything expats, Moroccancitizens, Indians, Russians,Italians, literally everything.Yeah, anybody that was in Morocco thatwanted their kids toget an American education,learn English, being sentthere was very expensive.Yeah, yeah, sure.Was it mainly to learn English or did youguys actually learn American historyand stuff about America?
• 43:56
  Everything.Really? Yeah.So American history, stuff about America.It was very similar to acurriculum at a school here.Right. Very similar, except we would havean hour of French and an hour of Arabicevery day for throughoutyour whole career in school.What about Moroccan history?Would you also still learn about Morocco?Yeah, stuff like that.Sure. That's awesome.Yeah. I'm trying to picture, though.How did you play organized sports?They must have blended ages.If you only had 15 in your grades.Exactly right. That'swhat I was trying to get at.There is I'm not good at basketball.I'm decent at volleyball, but I'm I'mactually pretty bad at basketball.I was on the basketball team.There was like 20 kidswhere you had a pulse.You can run or get on the team.So I played any sport that was open.Like the coaches would come up to you andbe like, we need you on the team.So that's why I was on all those teams.But and were there girl teams, too? Yeah.OK. Yeah. And then at this school, did thelittle girls just stress?Was it uniforms?
• 44:58
  Uniforms. Yeah.Like how I pictureCatholic school uniforms.That's right. White collared shirt or alight blue collared shirtwith the school emblem onthere matching shorts or pants.And then a couple of yearsin, they took away the collarsand gave us the flexibility to be normalcrewed neck or collared.And not religious based.I know we didn't learn.We didn't really study religion.OK. My mom took care of that.And then your brother thenwould have been in middle school.So it was his grade alsojust as small. Same thing.That would have been such a hardadjustment as a middle schoolercoming from an American middle school tothen having your world get so small.Do you know it was at heart?I'm sure it was harderfor him to adjust.
• 45:41
  Yeah.It was it was.Probably a big change.It was a big change for him,but he adapted very well. He'she's the best, most outgoing, social, nice.Everyone loves him. Allhis teachers loved him.All his friends lovedhim. So he just fit right in.And he played sports, too, I assume. Yeah.He was so he's not that that big.He's pretty short.But he my entire life, he was incredibleall sports like soccer to this day.Incredible basketballby Moroccan standards.He's pretty damn good volleyball as well.So yeah, he fit in pretty well.So you guys are humming along in Morocco.Your dad opened up anotherbusiness, I assume.
• 46:25
  Right.Was it a restaurant?So he opened up a restaurant.He opened up one restaurant and then thesecond and then the third.And he would like haveone or two open at a time.He usually would like sell them and kind ofbuild up the brand, sell it and do that.And then his otherbusiness was he would go to Chinaand buy he had a company thathe did this with his company,but he would buy likeeverything you need to finish a house.So doors, door frames, showers, tubs,windows, everything.
• 47:00
  Right.And he would buy them inChina and ship them to Moroccoand sell them to peoplebuilding houses in Morocco.He's a hustler. Yes.
• 47:07
  Wow. Yes. Yeah.Because he's running these businesses.And then I wonder where he got that idea.Just OK, I'm going to go to China andwholesale all this stuff.Yeah, I think they write.
• 47:18
  He would he wouldsell anything like he would bringhummers, escalades on the gold wings.Any car that wasn't available in Morocco,like you would bring an escalate.Let's say it's $40,000 here and sell it inMorocco for like$65,000.Wow. Like no one else can get it.You had like the firstescalate there, first hummer there.And he would just be like,all right, people want this.This will sell. I'll go get it and sell it.So he's not just anentrepreneur, but a salesman.Yeah. But he's all sounds like he'sprobably fairly well connected.Yeah. Right. Because you probably can't dothat in Morocco without connections.Yeah. Yeah. Very much so.Yeah. So your family, I assume, have beenconsidered wealthy in Morocco.In Morocco. Yeah.And how does your dadadjust to being back in Morocco?Obviously, fine business wise.But was he OK with coming back to Morocco?I'm not sure. I never noticed anything.But I can't imagine that hewas I mean, I'm sure he was upsetwith all the progress he made here in theUS and having to go back.But can't imagine it wastoo big of a change for him.I mean, he was probably inhis 40s at that point in time.His whole life, other than maybe like sixto eight years was in Morocco.So and I'm sure your family was thrilled.Yeah. And their parents and all that,because then they have you guys there, too,which is wonderful.
• 48:34
  Sohow long were you in Moroccountil you came back to the US?I was in Morocco from 2006 to 2014.So eight years, eight years.So you would have been.Fourteen going on 15.So right before high school.So just finished sophomore year of highschool, going into junior year.Oh, well. Right.Because you skipped a grade.Yeah. OK, so your and your brother wouldhave been going to college.Yeah, my brother came here for college.He graduated the school in Morocco, theAmerican school, and then came over hereback to St Pete, went to college there.And that's when everything flipped for mebecause I was just like,I don't want to be here.
• 49:20
  Why my Morocco?I should be in the US.
• 49:22
  I want to move back.Morocco sucks.
• 49:24
  I don'tlike it here, et cetera.Just going through puberty.Well, and also probably you felt yououtgrown that space in a way,especially if you'rewith those same kids still.Yeah, I'm sure it'shard to date after a while.Yeah. Yeah.So and just iteverything gets so incestuous.You're just like, I needchange. I need to get out of here.And my brother left.That's what I was about.
• 49:46
  Your brother left.He's like, you guys are you guys areobviously boys, I think.Right. You guys are tight. Yeah.Very much so. Yeah.It was always me andhim, me and him, my cousins.And when he left, I wasjust like, why am I still here?Yeah. So then what happened?What what made the move backto America? What was the shift?So my parents alwaysknew that I was going to go.Me and my parents always knew that I wasgoing to go to American Collegeor university and no one was going to payfor an international tuition.So the plan was alwaysto get back to the US.I'm an American citizen.I need a year or twoto get in state tuition.So it was always sophomore or junior year.I would go back. I was supposed to go comeback here my sophomore year.And my mom pulls me aside like going intothat summer and she's like,this is really sad, but she'slike, I just can't lose it yet.Like you can't go over thereand leave me. I need you to stay.So me being the punk little kid I am justheld that over her headand threw a fit for an entire year until mygoing into my summer of my junior year.I was like, I'm I'm fucking leaving.I don't want to be here any longer.And she tells me those stories and I justget sad because I'm like,I was such a little shit.And now I would give everything to just bewith her next to her.But it's the age, though.And it really is. It is. It is.It's kind of the job,especially I think of young men.They want you want that autonomy.You're trying.
• 51:13
  It's partof your job to become a man.So anybody who's going to stop you, whetherit's your mom or whether it's the neighbor,you know, God help them.So but how could you come back here?Did you come back on your own?I came back on my own.My aunt was still here,so my aunt never left.OK. And my aunt's my mom's sister.So on my mom's side,she's my aunt and my mom.They grew up together.
• 51:35
  Yeah, she knew.So she felt very comfortablesending me to live with her in St.Petersburg as well.She was actually right downthe street from my brother.So it worked out perfectly.She was also raising akid, my cousin, who's 22 now.So a few years younger than me.So just hey, you'realready raising a kid. Yeah.Would you mind helping out with this guyuntil he goes to college?Yeah. How did your brother come over here?Because you said aboutthe international tuition.Was it did he not have to pay theinternational tuition at first? Yeah.So he has a green card.Now he has a passport.
• 52:12
  He's a citizen now.But he came over here first year, just paidinternational tuition.He went to a community college and then heworked here, got a joband then eventually becamein state a year or two. OK.So even with international after a year orso, you can pay in state tuition.Yeah. Oh, that's great.It's not just domestically orinternationally as well.So you finished high school.Did you go to the highschool that you would have gone toif you stayed in St.
• 52:38
  Petersburg?Yeah. Public high school. Thesame one. The same one. Yeah.Did you know any rememberany kids from first grade? No.So how was it startingschool as a junior?
• 52:48
  It was insane.It was and I went from thesame 15 kids that I knew.I knew everything aboutthem. I knew their parents.I knew where theylived. I knew their habits.I knew everything to a school where thegraduating class was 450 kids.Yeah, the graduating.
• 53:04
  Yeah. Yeah.And it was just mayhem, seeing how kidslike were behaving, acting,just partying, doing whatever they want.It was it was a shock for sure. I bet.And just did you getinvolved with sports?
• 53:19
  Yeah.Yeah, I was a captain of the soccer team.OK, well, look at yousliding right in.
• 53:24
  Right.Well, it's not the sport here, right?So all the best athletes playfootball and basketball.
• 53:29
  Right.In Morocco, it's the opposite.All the best athletes play soccer.So I was middle, uppermiddle of the pack in Morocco.And when I came here,I was top of the pack.Yeah, because peopledon't focus as much on soccer.So it was a little bit of aneasy. Yeah. Yeah.
• 53:45
  Yeah. Yeah.Now, did you have a car?
• 53:46
  You got a licensehere. I got a license.I didn't have a car.So you weren't youweren't out on the streets yet.No, I haven't aroundor anything. No, I was.So I was young for my age, so I didn't getmy license until I was 16.Or yeah. And of my end of being 16. Right.So OK, I got here when I was 15 and then Ifigured out that to get it at 16,you had to have your learner's permit.So when I turned 16, Igot my learner's permit. OK.So then close to 17, 17, I got my license.The day of my senior year prompt.Oh, you got your license that day that day.And I drove my dad had movedthere like four months ago,four months before that before. Yeah.And I drove his car and then I would drivemy brother's car around.I had a little scooterthat I would take to school.But no, I didn't own a car.So when you moved here, did did theskipping and grade hold?So you were always youngerthan everyone in your grade.And in America, that can make a difference.Yeah. Like, did you ever feel younger?Yeah, definitely.Like when I got to Florida State, the firstfour months of me beingby myself living inFlorida State, I was 17.Yeah, that's pretty young. Yeah. Yeah.That's very young.
• 55:05
  Yeah. Yeah.OK, so so well, to goback, you said your dad movedto America four monthsbefore your senior prom.What prompted him to make that move?He just had some stuff going on in Moroccoand then him and mymom kind of parted ways.And I think he just didn'thave anything else to do there.So he just came back over here.Did they get divorced?
• 55:26
  No.So they're still married.They're separated.
• 55:29
  Yeah.So she stayed in Morocco andhe moved to St.
• 55:34
  Peter's Park.And then were you essentially did he movewith your aunt or did he get his own place?He moved in with my aunt for probably twoweeks while he found a spot.And then I moved in with him.And then you moved in with him.So that was that the first time you hadseen him since you had moved to America?No, I would go back there inthe summer. OK. Yeah.
• 55:53
  All right.So you still were seeing that.But it's probably nice to have your dadover here in America.
• 55:57
  Right.And it was very interesting, interestingdynamic because it wasthe traditional family style.Right. I'm at home with my mom.My mom knows every singledetail and aspect of my life.And in my dad's at work allday, he comes home at night.I saw him. How's your day?What's how sports?
• 56:15
  Let'swatch the soccer game, et cetera.And then going from that to him being inevery detail in my life, I was like,this is really weird.
• 56:21
  Yeah.Change your guys's relationship.Right. So yeah. Andshe became a lot closer.So you graduate and was Florida Statealways your number one?Florida State was my number one.Yeah. So I applied for earlyadmission to Florida State.I was in the middle of orapplying to the rest of the schoolsI wanted to go to.I got into Florida State early admission inOctober and I didn't apply anywhere else.OK, that was it. That was it.It was was Florida State, your target, evenin Morocco or with this?No, it was just whenyou when I got here.
• 56:53
  Yeah.I didn't really know much about FloridaState when I was in Morocco.Yeah, that would make sense.So you did the summer sea?No, I went in fall. Oh, you did fall. Yeah.OK, so when you started in the fall, thenhad you spent any time in Tally?No, Hasey. No, it was funny.My brother drove me up for orientationand he dropped me off onthe side of the street.He goes, have fun, kiddrives back home with his buddies,but he came up with us so he wouldn't driveback alone. And that's it.My dad never came up to Tallahassee.Really? My brother cameup one time after that.It was literally justme. They're like, go. Wow.Wow. Yeah. So you'rein the dorms, I assume.No, I had anapartment. You had an apartment.But you were at FSU. I wasat FSU. I was an FSU student.But you didn't. Did you notwant to live in the dorms?I thought you had to as afreshman. You didn't know.Oh, OK. What made you make that decision?Cost comparison versuscompared to what I was getting.OK, apartment wascheaper and I had my own room.I had my friend from St.Petersburg that I was moving up with and hedidn't get into Florida State.He was in TCC.And we wanted to live together, right?And so I was like, dad, isit cool if I get an apartment?He's like, yeah, that's perfect.So and just to go back, you were only 17.I was only 17. That's pretty wild.Yeah, 17 living in an apartment.You had never lived on yourown before like that, right?Paying bills, taking care of all that stuffaway from your still your mom.Yeah. And I would say theexperience of moving hereand just living with myaunt, my aunt worked a lotbecause she was a single momhere raising a kid by herself.So I got a lot of thatexperience in junior, senior yearat high school where I wouldtake myself to and from school,take myself to and from all my practices.Had a job when I was 15, just figuringeverything out.
• 58:55
  Right.Well, what's your job?My first job was a cabana boy at theSerrata Beach Resort in St. Petersburg.Nice. So I would set up these cabanas forpeople that are staying at the hotel.Get in at like 6 a.m., haveeverything set up by that time.And then they needed a drink or anything.I'd get the waiter, et cetera.I was just kind of the thehelper boy at the area. Yeah.And then same hotel around six months in.I got brought into their restaurant.I was a food runner andthen I became a bar back.And yeah, that's the job I had.That was through high school.Through high school.
• 59:32
  Yeah.And then I assume alsoliving with your aunt,were you making a lot ofyour own meals, breakfast?No. So your meals were still made for you.She had that down.
• 59:41
  OK. OK.So at Tallahassee, that was your first timemanaging your food on your own.Grocery shopping. Yeah.
• 59:48
  All that. And Iknow you like to cook. I do.Now, had you always liked to cook or didthat come in Tallahasseewhen you were on your own?I didn't always like to cook,but I always watch my mom cook.My mom is 10 out of 10.Incredible chef, just like you are.And she I would always watchher make stuff.
• 1:00:06
  Right. Yeah.And I don't know if I learned necessarilywatching her, but I got a feel for it.And then I would just call her.I'm like, hey, I want to make this.And she would justsend me a voice recording.Here's what you do. Here's how you do it.Here's how long.And that's just kind of how I got into it.And then, yeah, Ifigured out that it's easy.It is really not that hard.It's not act like it's verydifficult. It's very easy.Yeah, there's levels to it, of course.But it really it'sit's it's what's the same.There's this tick tock for he always saysit isn't easy, but it is simple.And I think with cooking, you know, onceyou get if you can follow a recipe,it is simple. And once you get the hang ofthings, it does become easy.But at first, it can feel intimidatingwhere this is too hard.It's too much. It's but but if you reallythink about it, it is simple.It's just following steps.Exactly. It's just measuring and following.I have a question there.Yeah, she measures.
• 1:01:02
  Do you measure?Are you OK?I'm not a measure.I'm not a measure. I ball totally.I can't all eyeball things like olive oilor stuff, but I can't with season.I'm too nervous. I'm going to ruin thewhole dish by puttingtoo much of something.Yeah, no, I just saw my eyeballer.I'm an eyeballer. That's funny, becausewhen I lived with Nate,I was trying to like show him a couple ofthings on how to do things.And he's like, well, how do you know howmuch of this to put in there?I'm like, just guess.So it's made with love.Yeah, I say like it's justthis much love and that much love.Exactly. But I measure my love because Iespecially with salt.I'm always so nervous.I'm an over salt something.So OK, so Tallahassee was whereyour love of cooking was born.Really? Yeah. You know, I mean, you hadbeen observing your momand through osmosisabsorbing the the vibe of cooking.Because even if it is simple or easy, youstill there's stillsomething about cooking.There has to be an emotion tied to it, Ithink like you are an intentionwhen you're making it. And Ithink that's what makes it.Whatever dish you're making makes it goodbecause there's that enjoymentwhile you're doing it. Youknow, I mean, not always.I have a whole short that went viral aboutcomplaining aboutmaking dinner every night.But in general, when you'remaking something, you know,and then you see how itturns out and all that.Well, especially when you're making forsomeone else. Yes.
• 1:02:24
  Yeah. Yeah.Well, making dinner is different thanmaking a meal. Right.Making dinner can be mac andcheese, maybe mashed potatoes.Those are sides. But when you jump intolike one of your Armenian dishesand you've got the pilaf and the dolma andthe hummus and that's a meal.I made meals for 30 years.And then I had a lot of them. They've allbeen really good.
• 1:02:45
  Thank you.And then I did hit a pointwhere I was like, you know what?I need a break fromthis. I don't want to make.I was cooking Sunday through Thursday.And I just was like, Idon't want to do that anymore.But I mean, I'm 54. Soit was time to also cook.But I like to have the freedomto say I'm not cooking tonight.Where for 30 years I didn't have I put thaton myself like making for the family.No one made me.But I gave myself the permission to saywe're doing takeout tonight.And I never had before.
• 1:03:08
  You know, I waslike, no, that's only Friday or Saturday.But now it's a little more loose.But when I do cook now, I really, reallyenjoy it because Idon't do it as much as I.Is that a thing in Morocco like to orderfood in depends on your family?My family, not at all. Iwouldn't think so.
• 1:03:23
  No, no. Yeah.I could see your mom made everything likeliterally anything you wanted.She would make it, whether it was likesweets and pastries or mealsor breakfast, lunch, dinner, everything.I never ate school lunch.I would take home or I takea lunch to school with me.And funny story, funny stories.I would take home or Iwould take a lunch to schooland I would get kids to trademe two or three school lunchesin exchange for the lunch I brought.That's funny. Yeah.Like my friends would come up to me and Ialways had a lunchbox when I was a kidand they'd be like, what's in there?I'd be like, it's the pasta.They're like, no, not the pasta.And they would actually like come together,get three kids and be like,all right, we're all going to give them ourfood and we're going to get his food.So you're getting like the American mealfrom their hot lunch.And then you guys areexchanging cultures almost right.Because we're the meals at the Americanschool, like probably what kids herewere getting very similar.There was an actual chef, right?So it was better food, Iwould say. Right.
• 1:04:30
  Right. Right.They would be burgers a day.Sometimes they would have like just allkinds of like food that you'd get.Yeah. Lunch here, somepizzas, things like that.Every once in a while,they're throwing something Moroccan.So it was a mix. Did your mom know?She did. She found it hilarious. Yeah.What's your mom's stance on leftovers or isit a clean slate the next day?No, big leftover family.OK, yeah. All right.
• 1:04:54
  Perfect.Especially like pasta, thingslike that. Big, big leftovers.Well, she's probablymaking whatever she's making.She's making a lot of it, right? Yeah.So there's bound to be leftovers.I bet it tastes better the next day.It tastes good that first day,but like her dolma the next day.Oh, my God. Yeah.I think I know what I'mmaking for Father's Day.OK. I think I alwaysmake that on Father's Day.Actually, she makes thesethose spinach, whatever.Casedillas. Yeah, those are so. Yeah. Yeah.Maybe you have to pick.
• 1:05:20
  I'm not doing both.OK, so you're in Tally,you're living in an apartment.You're on your own. You're cooking. You'redoing all the things.What did you did?You declare a major right from the start?Yeah, I went up thereas an engineering major.Wow. Yeah.I got out of that real quick.OK, so how long did that?That does not work out.How long did that last?A year, maybe a year and a half.Oh, that's a long time.Now, a year and a half.Yeah. So the fall of mysophomore year, I switched majorsnot by choice, necessarily.I was just didn't have the grades and.Yeah, joining a fraternity didn't help.I wasn't taking it seriously.Honestly, I was veryimmature still, even though I wasI thought I was more maturethan a lot of kids my age.But from like thinking ofme getting the floor to stayin order to build myfuture and actually get a degreefor something that I want to do and willuse that hadn't clicked.Unfortunately, so I was just viewed classeslike I'll go to class sometimesor things like that.And then sophomore year that changed.And I was like, all right, I need to dosomething with my life.So we can't get kicked out of school and wehave to like build a careerand future for ourselves.
• 1:06:35
  So yeah.OK, so what did you switch to?I switched to economics witha minor in entrepreneurship.So are you good at math?Pretty good at math. Is that your strength?That was my strength growing up. Yeah,that's why I chose engineering.OK, and did you graduate witheconomics and an economics degree?From Florida State.
• 1:06:54
  Yes. OK. Yeah.And then what was yourdid you have a minor?Did you sayentrepreneurship entrepreneurship?So you graduated with that.Did you join a frat soft or freshman year?Freshman year. Yeah.Freshman year in the spring.Were you part of Nathanand Ben's pledge class?No, I was the next oneprobably then to to three after them.Yeah. OK. I was a yearafter that. Yeah.
• 1:07:18
  Yeah.So what made you choose the frat you chose?My random roommate was a capital. OK.So we had four kidsliving in that apartmentand my roommate was a capital.So when I lived with him, hewas already in the fraternity.He was already had anestablished friend group, et cetera.And fall went by.I had gone to Kapisig twice, I believe.Just for game days,tailgates, things like that.And then spring came around and.They're doing rush, right?So first day of rush,he comes home, how to go.Great, et cetera.
• 1:07:55
  Secondday of rush, he comes homeand he just flings the door open.I'll never forget it.I'm sitting on the couchwith a couple of my buddiesand he looks at me and he goes, so this isyour college experience?He's like, this is what you're going to do.You're just going to sit on the fuckingcouch every day and just watch TVand not do shit withyour college experience.He's like, you need toget up and do something.He's like, I'm taking you to rush tomorrow.And I was 18.I was like, sure, why not? Let's do it.And I went in and thatwas the only frat I went to.Got a bid and joined the fraternity.Was that so that wasn't yourplan to be in a frat?
• 1:08:33
  Never.Was there a reason behind that?I never thought of it.It just wasn't on your radar.No. Wow.What a life changing moment to have yourroommate do that for you.Literally life changing.
• 1:08:45
  Yeah.So you got into Kappa Sig.So you're a grade behind Nathan, but twoyears younger, right?Yeah. Because you hopped grades. OK.Um, what was your firstimpression of the frat?Oh, I don't even know if I remember.I don't know. The house is intimidatingbecause there's massive mansion with abunch of dudes standing out there in suits.It was very weird.
• 1:09:16
  It'slike you're going in there.It's like you're going in there trying toflirt with a bunch of guysto tell them that you're cool and you guysshould take a chance on me.So that was very weird.
• 1:09:25
  And I didn't know.I didn't know what I was doing, right?Like I didn't I just went in there and Iwas like, yeah, this is what I do.This is what I am.Well, you'd only been in back in Americafor two years, right?Two and a half, two and a half years.Yeah. So you I mean, you would acclimate itback in, but still, that's pretty fresh.Yeah. And is Greek life a thing in Morocco?So it's such an American experience.And it's probably not like you researchlike did a ton of read.It wasn't even on your radar.My understanding of Greeklife came from watching movieslike American Pie and like Road Trip.Yeah. It's like that.Where you see the animal house.Baby. I don't know.That reminds me of Kappa Sick.Yeah. Yeah.So watch that movie.Yeah. So you were goingin like probably wide eyed.Yeah, very much so.And I mean, I think that's a testament toyou because a lot of people go in there,go into these processes trying really hard.And the fact that you were you had nochoice but to be your authentic person.You were supposed to be your authentic selfbecause you didn't know what you weresupposed to be doing.Yeah. So they acceptedyou for truly who you are.Yeah. So that's kind of cool.Yeah. It's very interesting because likethe cultures are differentlike kids in high school.Junior senior year.A lot of them are working out.A lot of them are likeplaying football things like that.Like that's the culture and I come in I'm150 pounds soaking wet.I don't never been in the gym.Nothing like that.Right. So the kind of things that theylooked for in thefraternity kind of scoping phase,I didn't really have like I wasn't jacked.I didn't have like a bunch ofstories about a bunch of girls.Like I had some but nothing like crazy.So it was literally just me and they'relike, I don't know whatthe fuck to talk about.But I just moved here from Morocco.Here's what I am.Here's what I do.And having my roommatebeing capital probably helped.But yeah, kind of help laid out.And then you had mentioned earlier theyhelped you guys with yourcleaning up your social media.Did they how would you say Kappa Sig setyou up and help prepareyou for life after college?There was a lot of stuff that was very verystarting voice to men.Like you have all the partying and you haveall the actual brotherhoodand like stuff like that.But there was a lot of stuff there likethey want you to take your your schoolseriously now whether they preached or theydid what they preached.That's a different thing.But making sure like they know to teach younot to drink and drive not to like blackout at the bar because you're embarrassingyourself and the fraternity how to dresshow to like make a tie.For example, when you're standing up yoursuit should be buttoned when you're sittingdown your suit suit should be open.Don't be a creep to women.Just things that are really important forguys to learn and it's not like it was Idon't want to say it was coming from likelike trying to like mature you but it wasmore like we have a brand we have a name.This is how real men treat themselves andhow they present themselves.You need to do this.Yeah, yeah, that's wonderful.I always got the impression and again, I'mjust a mom that went there just a coupletimes but I and I could be wrong but I feltthat Kappa Sig was a really authentic fratand like real and wasn't trying as much toput on some sort of illusion.I guess if that makes sense, but just itwas more regular guys than it was right.That would be my experienceas well more down to earth.Yeah, does that make sense?No, 100%.It definitely was and I mean, we weren'tthe coolest frat on campus.We weren't getting the most girls.We weren't the most popular by any means,but just a bunch of guysthat cared for each other.Yeah, I'm at the end of the day.That's what it was and it was just normal.Some normal dudes.Well, when I was there for aparty, there were a lot of girls.I mean, it was a rager.So and you guys were on sorority row.Yeah, so nice, but and right across from Ithink pots and or whatright across from onyx.Yeah.Yeah.So the location you can'tbeat the location of Kappa sick.Not at all.There's nothing better than that, but itseemed like it was it was pumping.But I mean, what you're saying as far asthe Brotherhood, it feels like the factthat you guys were all able to beyourselves, then you were able to trulybond together because it was all real.Would you say that's accurate?Yeah, definitely.And it's like the early it's it's aninteresting kind of pledge ship because theearly parts, it's all of the cookie cutterstuff, if you will, like the stuff I justtalked to you about, like,this is what's important.This is what you need to do.This is how you dress, how you act.Don't get too drunk at the bar.Don't black out.Don't drive if you're drinking.Can't get in fights with yourbrothers, just shit like that.And then as they weed it out, a lot of thekids, that's where it kind of funneled downinto more fraternity, Brotherhood, actualevents where they're trying to teach you.They're trying to put everyone else in thefraternity against you so that you and yourpledge class bond together.And there's a lot of experiences that theyput you through where you're like, all wehave is each other as the pledge class.No one else here likes us.I don't even know how we're going to bethese guys, brothers,because they all hate us.That's just the facade they put on.So it turns you close to each other.And that's like myexperience with my pledge class.Like I'm the only one thathad an apartment at that point.And I would have after any event, 13, 14dudes on my couch and on the floor, justdebriefing and talking,watching shows and just talking shit.Right.And is this duringrush you're talking about?This is during pledge ship.Yeah.And then once you're in, then I assume allthat stops and you guysare one brotherhood, right?And it's a mindfuck.It's like I thought you hated it.Yeah.What the fuck has been going on?And they're like, no,that's just how it is.And then your brother and the new pledgeclass comes in and it's the same.You have to do it.Yeah, do the same.So I mean, I don'tknow anything about that.What is it?Eight weeks, nine weeks of pledging?Depends what you ask.But it's a long time.I feel like it's mostof that fall semester.It's most of the semester and I don't wantto know everything that goes on as amother, but I can only imagine there's sometimes that it's fairly traumatic or you'renot sure if you're going to make it.I assume that's the job of the brothers.So it must be such aeuphoric feeling when you do.Yeah, 100%.It's a journey and it's at certain points.You're like, what the fuck am I doing?Yeah.Why am I here?I already had friends.I enjoy what I was doing before.Like, what is this?Right.But it's there's just somany guys in there with you.They're like, really, you're going to quit.We're in this together and it's just set upin a very, very interesting, like uniqueway that you just have each other's backsand you don't let each it's like.You ever get in like someone starts beingreally negative and then automatically youstart being more positive and in adifferent conversation.Flips.That's kind of how it is.Yeah.Like someone's like, Ican't fucking do this anymore.He's like, dude, relax.You know, what's interesting is Nathantells us a lot, right?He's shared a lot ofstuff with us over the years.If you go in too deep on his that pledgeexperience, he doesn't really go to hedoesn't share it with us.Yeah, and it's probably the code you guyshave with the fraternity.So it's like that's untouchable.Can we respect that?We don't we don't cry.We don't cry.That's and it's funnybecause now we're grown men.Yeah, I still don't talk about it.Yeah.You know, no, no, no.I think someone asked me, I'm not givinghim the full picture.Yeah.It feels like you still owe something tothe fraternity and to like the the groupitself where you're like, I'm not going tosay what happened or what wedid or any anything like that.Well, I mean, aren't you a brother for lifeonce your brother, you know, and would yousay you're still very closeto majority of your brothers?Yeah, very much.So, I mean, I talked to Nathan almost everyday, Mac, Ben, a zoo, Spencer, Evan.It's a very big group and we're veryblessed to have each other,but we talk almost every day.Yeah, I travel.That's who I travel with.I've made a lot of friends at Florida Stateoutside of the fraternity, like my roommatethat I live with now, Juan and a lot of ourfriends down there, but it's it's real.You definitely stay together forever.It's going to be the guys at my wedding,hopefully my funeral.Yeah.Well, you do life together afterwards.I think that was the giftthat Kapisig gave to all of you.Do you do you know if other frets from FSU,if they're as tight as you guysare because you guys are tight.It's cool to see from our perspective, butare the other frets as tight?A lot of them are.Okay.A lot of them are.A lot of them don't have as big of a groupas we do that stay tight.But like a lot of my friends in Miami, theywere all in the same fraternity granted.A lot of them knew each other from Miamibefore they went up to Florida State.Yeah, but they're still tight.A lot of fraternities are like that.That remains the so like once you get tojunior senior year of college, you realizeyou're like, oh, there's a ton of otherpeople out here that I could meet.I shouldn't just stay in my fraternity.You make a ton of other friends, especiallylike working nightlife, things like that.But the primary groupalways remains that fraternity.That's your core group.Okay.So you're saying economics.You're in Kappa Sig.Did you work at all?Yeah, I did.What was my first job?My first job was a bar back at Baja's.That's a bar in Tally nightclub.Nightclub.Tallahassee.Yeah.Mac, my friend Mac got me that job.He used to bartend.At one of the sister locations.So I started bar back in there and then Ihad a kitchen boy job at Zetawhen I joined the fraternity.That's a sorority, right?Yeah.So what would you do?I would clean the dishes, bring out thefood, change out the fooddishes, clean the kitchen.And they paid you.And they sent me home with like enough foodto feed me in the fraternity.Was this the sorority right across thestreet from you guys?That's convenient.Very convenient.So was it just for their events or was itfor every time they had meals every day?Wow.Yeah, that's cool.Yeah.So it's it's common.Every sorority has their kitchen boys andthey'll bring out the food, serve it clean,make sure the kitchen isclean when they leave, etc.And the page.I don't know, it's$10 an hour.Yeah, but how convenient is that?Yes and food.Yeah and food and youget to meet some girls.Yeah, right.That's that's the extra bonus.So how long did you do that?Two years and then I got promoted.So I was a bar back and then the bar ownerZen, Zen and Simon,they opened a second bar.So I was a bar back there as well.So I had kind of two jobs and then thekitchen boy job and I got promoted to abartender at both of thoseplaces and I was college rich.So I just quit the kitchen boy job.I had had enough of it.House mom was crazy.She's still alive.But so you were working a lot.Yeah, I was so my freshman year springbreak were down in Fort Lauderdale.My dad didn't want meto go to Florida State.He wanted me to live with him and go to St.Pete College like my brother, but he callsme and he's like, hey, I'm notpaying for your shit anymore.Come home and I'll pay for your shit.So this was freshmanyear at FSU spring break.He's like, I don't want you up there.Yeah, if you come home and go to schoolhere, I'll pay for everything.It was sophomore year, actually.Okay.Yeah.But yeah, he's like come home.We're not doing this anymore because he wassupporting me sendingme money for everything.And I was like, no, I'm not leaving.I've made friends here.I like it here.I don't like St.
• 1:21:45
  Pete.All my friends from high school in St. Peteweren't doing anything with their lives.So I was like, I'll figure it out.So did he did he at least pay tuition orwas it up until that point?Up to that.So yeah, you're good.Then all of a sudden he'slike, I want you to come home.If not, you're on your own and that meanttuition, room board, the whole thing.Good.Well, did something happento trigger that reaction?So he'd never wanted me to go and mybrother being the greatbrother that he is, literallyjust sat him down and goes, this kid has togo get his own college experience and liveby himself and grow up.You need to let him to go to Florida State.It's not that expensive.Tuition wise, like tuitionwas like $3,000 a semester.Like tuition wise instate, Florida is a deal.Yeah, really.Incredible.Yeah, it is.But yeah, so my brother convinced him and Ithink my dad just got to a point where he'slike, I don't see this kid.I don't know what the fuck he's doing.He can come home and go to school here.There's schools here andI'll pay for your stuff.So he just got nervous.It sounds like about something.He just wanted you home.No idea.He just wanted me home and I was a youngcollege kid that didn't ask why.I was just like, no.And so then you had to figure out how topay for tuition, room and board.Yeah.And were you living inthe frat or in an apartment?I was living in an apartment and this wasright before I startedworking all these jobsand I got evictedbecause I couldn't pay rent.Oh my god.So I moved in to my buddySquawks room in the fraternity.Squawk.Yeah, Squawk.They literally took me in and I literallyjust slept on his couchfor like a whole summer.And then now we're going into junior year.Now we're going into, no,we're going in a sophomore year.I don't know why I mixed that up.It was, yeah.So it was freshman year.It was freshman year.So your dad kind of gave it that time andbut then he realized I can't do this.The first year.So you supported yourself through threeyears of Florida State.Three and a half.Three and a half years of Florida State.Yeah, I did an extrasemester my senior year.So for sophomore year, where did you live?Sophomore year.Sophomore year is when Imoved into the fraternity house.Okay.So rent was $500 a month.Yeah.Okay.And you were working these three jobsbasically for sophomoreyear and in a frat and studyingeconomics and entrepreneur.That's a lot.It was a lot.It was fun.Yeah.It was a good time.And then you ended up making enough barbacking that you couldquit working at the sorority.No, I didn't quit working at the sorority.So I got promoted to a bartender.Okay, and we were making for collegecomparatively to rent whatyou spend on food on alcohol.If you were to go out, etc.Like I was making a lot of money.Yeah, it was like maybe$1,500 a weekend.Oh, wow.But back then, that's a good change.No, that's a lot of a lot.You rent $500.Yeah.And we're eating Chipotleand Chick-fil-A every day.Yeah, or I'm cooking at home and being inthe nightlife scene, you'renot paying to get into any of thebars.You're not paying for drinks.So we were college rich.Yeah.And you could that's more than enough tocover your tuition by far.Yeah, everything.And I got financial aid.Okay.Yeah.So there you go.That's impressive thoughthat you did pulled that off.Yeah, I honestly like because you hustleduntil you got to a stagewhere a job that you could quitthe other jobs, but you you did what youneeded to do and you stillwere able to fulfill yourcommitments as a brother with Kappa Sig andstill make grades andgraduate with your degree.I mean, have you recognized how hard youworked and balanced duringthat time yet in your life?I don't think about it often.It's kind of just like it's always been yougot to do what you got to do, right?Like you're not we're not just going to laydown and fail or take itlike this is these are thecircumstances what needs to be done to getthrough them and you just do it.Yeah, I've always known you as a hustler.I appreciate that.Yeah, I remember you hustling in college.I think you're probably hustling now.I know we'll probably get there a littlebit, but yeah, well andyou're done is a good example ofthat.You've grown up with a great model of thatand plus the lifeexperiences you went through, youknow, suddenly moving from America back toMorocco and then movingyou've been placed in situationswhere I got to figure this out.I got it.I have to adjust to this.So you would already practice thatthroughout your childhood andthen you were able I think thatbenefited you and things hit you at FSU.I think so because I was a mama's boygrowing up not even by choice.Like my mom was just so in my shit.Like my mom knew everything I was doingalways what I was doing.She made my schedule, etc.When I was in middle school and early highschool, which looking backat it, I'm so thankful for.Yeah, she's the reason I learned thelanguage is I know she's thereason I played sports out ofschool like this woman would just go aboveand beyond to make sure Iwas filling my time learningdoing like God bless her.Yeah, but having her removed from thepicture junior year of high school.It's just like all right, you got to startgrowing up right now.Like my aunt has her own kid in the job.Like she's not lookingafter every single detail.So I think that played a big role and bythe time I got toTallahassee, I was alone alone, but it'sbeen like I've it's kind of been like thisfor a year and a half two years now.Yeah, no, I think you're right that hugeadjustment frombecause I'm that type of mom.So I know exactly whatyou're talking about.So I'm just picturing of like Nathan hadgone through that where all ofa sudden I wasn't in his lifeand the huge adjustment he would have hadto make at that time.So I understand what you're talking aboutwhen you're saying that sothe growth that had to have comeduring that time is indescribable and waspreparing you I think for what happened atFlorida State becausethen when that was laid outfor you, you didn't hesitate.You're like I can do this.Yeah, you know, and then you did.I had no idea how I was goingto do it, but you figured it out.I figured it out.It feels like though that background youdescribed is what gave you the strengthperseverance perspectiveto get up every day andgo take care of your shit.Yeah, right.I would think so.100% strong background family background.So if you had to pick one of your bestmemories from your time up inTallahassee, what would that be?It doesn't have to be thebest memory, but one of them.That's tough.I don't know.Get it joining the frat was great.Getting promoted to a bartender was great.I don't know it would have tobe a lot of the trips we took.We as you guys know, we wentto a lot of music festivals.We traveled a lot.So that was always some of the best timeswe've ever had when you'd beat a musicfestival and you look aroundand there's like 20 of your best friendsall there together like Okachobi thatalways comes up as asone of the best times.Just having everyone there.Everyone's happy.Everyone's safe.I would say those are probably the bestmoments either trips or our our ways oftaking trips back thenwere music festivals.Yeah, I would say it was probably the musicfestivals when you had everyone together.Let's say say one of those.Yeah, most likely the first Okachobi.Yeah.Yeah, that's the onethat sticks out always.I remember hearing things about that fromNathan and I know that all of those aresuch cherished memories for him.Yeah, and then later for Kaya.Exactly.She was brought into the mix,you know, so that's wonderful.So when you graduated, did you already havea plan of where you weregoing and what you were doing?I had no idea what I wasdoing or where I was going.I graduated and me and Nate were close atthat point and he's like,hey, I work at this company.Granted, they're hiring.You need a job?I was like, yeah, I do andI need somewhere to move.So that's a prime example of the fraternitytraining changing everything.And I know we've talked about thefraternity a lot, but it really was apivotal thing in my life because I met Natethrough the fraternity.He's my best friend brother till this day.He got me my first job out of college.I learned how to work like a office jobthere, learned good habits, etc.And that set me up for where I'm at now.And where did you live whenyou first got out of school?I got out of school.I went home to Tampa, St. Pete, where mydad was at while I applied for the forgranite where Nate worked and then I gothired and moved down meand Nate moved in together.And that was down here in South Florida.And Delra in Boynton.Now, did your dad go to graduation?We didn't have a graduation.It was COVID.You were part of the COVID graduation.Yeah, yeah.He went to my highschool graduation, of course.Yeah, cried so much.Yeah, yeah.I've never seen him cry two times.My brother's graduation and my graduation.That's cool.I still think about all you kids thatdidn't get graduations and the highschoolers that didn't get prom and my heartjust breaks because youcan't go back and get that.So now I'm sure your mom, though, is veryproud and thrilled for youwith graduating from method.Was she okay with Florida State?She yeah, she's like go.She was not okay with me changing majors.But yeah, she was like, if your dad canafford it, if you guys can figure it out,wherever you need to go, youjust need to get an education.Yeah.And my mom is she's like, why are you notgetting your master's degree?Why are you not getting this?You need to be getting educated more.So anyway, I can make myself better.My mom's all for it.Yeah, your big your biggest cheerleader.Exactly.Yeah.So you're living in South Florida.You're working your first job and yourfirst office job, as you said.So what was yourimpression of the corporate world?This is fucking terrible.My first company was the most boring.Terrible company.I was working with the most bland people.It was nothing was good about it.Like if Nathan wasn't there as my roommate,my coworker, I probablywould have lost my mind.Like I didn't like thepeople I worked with.I sold phone and as a salesperson, my jobwas to sell phone and internet lines tobusinesses, right fromT-Mobile Verizon, AT&T, Comcast, etc.And we had the discounted business rates.So you're calling C like CFO, CIOs,executives, IT people, etc.And you're like, hey, I can save you moneyon your phone and internet.And their response is I set up my phone andinternet when we started this company.And my goal was to neverthink about this ever again.I don't want to talk to you.There's nothing to be spoken.My very tough sale, right?Yeah, my phone bills$1,500.You're going to save me $500.I think we're good.That sounds like a lot of a savings though.$500.It's a pain in the ass toswitch and it could fail.There's risk associated.Yeah, but it justwasn't a lot of rejection.A lot of rejection.I wasn't excited about what I was doing.It was boring.Would you say you learned anything thoughfrom all that cold calling?Absolutely.One thing you can't dismiss about thatcompany is their training.They had something called GraniteUniversity where theytaught you a lot about theirsolutions, a lot about how to positionthem, how to sell and being at a companythat's way bigger and way better funded andhas is public like all these things.They don't have that and the amount theyinvested in their people is somethingthat I definitely stillappreciate to this day.So it's almost like a little bit of anextension of your education for my career.Yes.Yeah, that you took with you.Yeah.So I always say those jobs those first jobseven though they suck there's somethingyou invariably take with you and there'sparts of it that youalways continue to benefitfrom through the rest of your careers.You just don't realize ituntil you're away from it.Absolutely.Like I've always told Nathan.It's like you start in phone sales.It's sort of a rite of passage in many waysfor bigger and better sales jobs because ifyou can handle the rejection and therepetitiveness theredundancy the call call call call youlearn the gift to gab you get somebody tohold on and talk to youfor 30 seconds insteadof go fuck yourself.You know, yeah, it'sit's a great great lesson.Yeah, absolutely.And you also get to figureout what you don't want to do.Yeah.Yeah, very important.Yeah, that's that's just as important.So how long were you there?Year 12 months and then what happened andthen I went to the company.I'm at today.SAP.So I met someone on my friendMadison was having her birthday.We rented out a boat in Miami and we're outon the water having fun.I meet this guy and he'slike, what are you doing for work?I'm like, I work at this company.I fucking hate it and he's like, well, Iwork at this global software company.We're hiring right now.Literally just met this guy.He's like, I'll refer you if you want referme got the interviewgot the job or they wereabout to make me the job offer and they'relike, well, you have tomove to Boston for this job.I was like, all right, fuck it.Looked up the company learned about it.How big they are how they're the number onein the space they're in numberone company in the space thatthey're in and yes took the risk.So you moved to Boston.Yep.And how long were you up there 13 monthsand how it because you're coming fromMorocco and then Florida.I assume this is thecoldest place you've lived.Awesome.So how was the was it abit of a culture shock?How was Boston for you?It was not great.I didn't like Boston.I didn't like the people.I didn't like the weather.I don't want to be a Debbie downer, butthat's not the place for me at all.So what parts of it weren't a fit thepeople in what way very snottykind of like entitled people.Obviously, there's plenty of great peoplethat I met up there thatare still friends to this day.So it's not everyone from Boston is thatbut it's just there's no like I didn't whatthey do on a day to daywhat their activities were their interestsjust didn't align with me.They had their sports teams and they hadtheir underground bars that they woulddrink at all the people Imet and that that was not a lot of joythere right not at all.They're not the happiest people.They're not the happy.I like being outside.I like doing shit.They there was none of that.It was just all drinking and sports.Do they not have outdoor activities?They do.Okay, doing me and my roommate who was ablessing that I lived with him.That's all we would dowhen it wasn't winter.They had a beach there.We would go to all the time a beautifulPark called the Commonsright in the middle of Boston.The city is absolutely beautiful and thehistory the history the food the culture,but I just didn't meshwell with the people.I might have been where Iwas at that point in my life.Maybe I just went in not liking it, but Idid not enjoy my time.Keep in mind you're cooped up like I knowsomeone who lives there.It's like 50 degrees there this weekend.It's 90 here.Yeah, so it's still kind of chilly.It's probably not gray and depressingbecause the leaves have finally come out,but it's colder most of the year.Yeah, that's exactly right.And people have this mentality where theyjust accept that it's thewinter and we're not going to do it.Anything was going to stay at home.We're not going to work outnot an active lifestyle at all.And I'm like this was depressing.Yeah, like get up and do something though.I go.No, it's snow and it's cold.I'm like this is notwhat I want in my life.Yeah.So when your time was upthere, you were ready to come back.Yeah, I tried to get out ofthere before my time was up there.Yeah, it was that the mothership in the US.Does that why you had to go up there or no?So they had just opened an office up thereand they were hiringpeople for my role out of there.So they wanted me to move up there.Now it's Atlanta.So everyone that'sgetting hired now is in Atlanta.And yeah, that's just wherethey had all their funding.They got a new office and theywere trying to grow that team.Yeah, what are you doing for that company?I'm an account executive.So I'm a salesperson.I lead our engagements with customers toidentify any challenges.They're looking to address any processimprovements, any initiatives, etc.I'll bring in my team will identify likethe software that we have willidentify the challenges, etc.How they want to improvetheir business challenges.They're dealing with and then the softwaresolutions that will help them get there howthey'll help them get there.We show them that andthen we sell them software.Okay, and are you enjoying it still?Yeah, I love it.It's really hard and I like it a lot.It's challenging.It's very challenging.So were they okay with you leaving Boston?I got promoted.Okay, so then you could leave.Yeah.So when I got promoted, I got promoted tothe South team and was fully remote.So I left Boston.And then where did yougo when you left Boston?I came down to Fort Lauderdale.I moved in with with Nick that you guysknow if you haven'tlistened to that episode.We did an episode with Nick Witcher fromYif now, which stands foryo, it's fucking nice out.And he's a entrepreneur.So definitely look for that episode.It's a it's a greatepisode and you lived with him.I did last year.Check out Yif know.com.Yes, you need some trendy great clothes.It's not just a clothing company.It's a lifestyle.It's a yeah, it's a great out.It is.It's a great brand.You know, I don't know.I did.Do you know about his fivethe five senses that they have?It's he wants the whole brandto be felt with all the senses.So see here touch smell and taste.Okay, so they're expanding into all those.So he they have a wine that they'redeveloping and a candle for sense.And the scene would be the scene, you know,yeah, and the hearing is the radio, the Yifno radio and then thetouch is the clothing.Yeah, I think that's brilliant marketing.He's he cares about his company a lot andhe's put a lot of time andeffort and just is intentionalwith what he does.And I don't think it's an if it's a one.Yeah.Oh, 100% blow up that manly works very veryhard and he's a visionary.I would say yeah, I mean, I highly I'mtelling you listeners,you should go to Yif no.comand get some stuffbecause I agree with you.It's going to be a when you're going to behearing about thisbrand more than you realize.So get in get in now.Get in now.Bye.Bye early.Yeah, the other thing to mention is forfolks who did listen tothat episode Nick is up inNew York like he talked aboutand he's so it's all going well.That's a great point.He's up there now.Yeah, head first.Only reason he's up there is the company.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.So and follow him onInstagram and TikTok as well.Okay, so so you lived with Nick last yearand then are you still in Fort Lauderdale?I'm in Miami now.Okay.What made you decide to go to Miami?Nick was leaving.So he was moving up to New York.I knew that and the rest of my friendsoutside of my friend Tito, Eric and mybuddy Roland who wasmoving in with his girlfriend.All the rest of my friendslived either in Miami or Boca.So it was all right.They live by myself or I try somewhere elseout and my plan in life is to end up in St.Petersburg near the rest of my familythat's located here in the US.So let's try Miami.Let's give it a shot.I always love Miami.I think it's one of akind probably my favorite.City.So yeah, just gave it a shot.I had one of my best friends Juan thatneeded a roommate as well.So it kind of lined upperfectly and you're enjoying it.I love it.So are there any cons to living in Miami?There's plenty of cons.There's cons of living everywhere.Yeah, but would you what would you say?It sounds like Miami is a really good fit.Is there anything that doesn't fit for you?A lot of the people down there.There's a lot there'sa lot of great people.Some of my favorite people live down there,but there's definitely aculture of like influencersand gold diggers and things like that asthe stereotype is andthat's just not doesn't reallymesh with me give you an example.You go to the gym.Everyone has a fucking tripodrecording themselves workout.Okay, that's annoying.I'm just like what are we doing here?Yeah, like listen.If you're some Jack dude or some girlthat's absolutely rippedand Jack and you're makingcontent great, but when you look like everyother guy like when you're literally justfelt like a normal dude and you'rerecording every workoutyou do I'm like what what arewe doing here?Yeah, you ever photobomb anybody like getin and mess with their shots or anything.I don't mess with it, but I don't like youdon't you don't around it.I don't adjust at all.I walk right in front of your camera.I don't give a fuck.Do they get mad?I don't care.I look at them.I pay for the gym too.It's true.Well, a lot of gyms are nowstarting to have no recording.What do you call it like rules rulesbecause it's getting so crazy.Yeah, and also a lot of people arerecording the locker roomsand so and then that's peopleare suing.Yeah, so they'restarting to be like nothing.Yeah, you know, I could see that it's goneso far that pretty soon.There'll be just a few gyms whereinfluencers can go and therest of them will get back tonormal.Yeah more but but overallMiami's yeah, Miami's great.I really like one thing.I really like about Miami's.There's a lot of Hispanicpeople in Hispanic culture.Yeah, and their people in their culture theway they interact with their families.They way they care about each other andtheir friends and howit's always family first inlike kind of the community first thatreminds me a lot of Morocco and howI grew up in my family.So I love that so much like all my friends.I know their parents grandparents.They always invite us overwill hang out with them, etc.And that that feels like something.Yeah, yeah something important and remindsyou of home a little bit.Yeah.Yeah.So who's insane Pete?Is it your dad?It's my brother my dad my brother's wife mynephew Zane and my aunther son and my cousin.Okay, so I heard some wouldbe your cousin too, right?Okay.So you have some cousins you have yournephew who's how old is he now?He's going on nine months now.Oh my gosh, and I've seen pictures.He's adorable.He's a cutie.He loves being an awful.I love it.I love that kid so much.You it's it's insane.I am single-handedly moving back to St.Petersburg because of him.Yeah, because I just want to be around forhim coming up and allthe small moments teachhim how to play soccerteach him everything everything.I know you probably didn't know how whatwhat it meant how itwould feel until they handedhim to you and then all of a sudden you'relike, oh, I will literally kill for this.Right, right, right.Yeah.Yeah.Did you cry when youheld him for the first time?I did not.But it gives you a little bit of a windowinto what it's like to be a parent.It does and how much love you have parenthas for their child and howmuch damn effort goes into it.Yeah.Nonstop ever never ends never ends like itwas seven like I used to goover to my brother's placeand we used to hang out play video games orgo out and play soccer or shit like that.Now it's like he's on the clock.Yeah, we might get an hour to 11 p.m.It's it's funny you say thatmy buddy came over earlier.He had his kid with him and I noticed I'mjust sitting against the car and he'swalking around the kidgoes further so I had to shift cars.I was chillin, but he's having to chasethis little guy around.Yeah, a lot of work.It does evolve.Yeah, and nothing else isnothing's the same anymore.Right.You have this person that relies on you foreverything and if anything happens to them,it's your fault.Yes, you're yeah, their caregiver.Does that does that scare you to be a dador make you want to be one?I'm really excited.Yeah, it does not scare me.That's cool.Yeah, because it isn'tjust the physical safety.You're I always say you're wearing yourheart on your sleeve and then when yourchildren leave your heart leaves with them.It's the emotional and mental exhaustion ofthe worry the love all that.So that's what really never ends becausethere is an evolution.Eventually, you're not having to followthem around all the time, right?But almost the more independent they getthe bigger the worries are but it's sorewarding like there.I always say there's an emotion.You don't have until you become a parent.It's a totally differentemotion and once you become a parent,you're like, oh and then you alsounderstand why yourparents were maybe were so crazy.It's because you're like, I get it now, youknow, but it's it's cool.I'm happy for your brother and his wife toI'm sure they're loving it.They are they're greatparents both awesome.And then how's your dad doing over there?He's doing well.He's doing well.Yeah, my dad has hadParkinson's disease for since he was 47.So about 15 years now.Wow.So he got pretty far.It got pretty bad.Okay, so was he when he came back overhere, did he open up more businesses?Yeah, same business that he has station.Yeah, and then so he's just working his jobrunning his gas station.And then what made him go to the doctorwhen he was around that age to saysomething's going on.Do you know he got diagnosed Parkinson'sand Morocco before we moved back here.So okay, so you had this right here likebetween your index and your thumb.Yeah, started hitting one of these startedlike like twitching and just moving hisfinger on its own, right?Okay, he wasn't in control.So you went to doctors like the fuck isthis and they were like you have earlysymptoms of Parkinson'sand then they went from that muscle to hishand to his arm to hislike whole arm and shoulderand then just spread across his whole body.So the progression how long did that takeabout to be like to itsworst point like 10 years.So from like 47 to 57 iswhen it was progressing.Yeah, how old is he now 62going to turn 62 in in August.So that had to have been a complete blowfor you and your brother.Yeah, and for him andwell obviously for him.Did he continue running his gas stationthrough the progression ofthe disease until towardsthe end and he had a couple and then hesold sold one of them and thenyeah, just had the single one.And how did his mental state how was thataffected during that time?Very much so because as a man being theprovider forever nowyou're walking into a room.Everyone's like oh my god, you're so sick.I feel so bad for you.You just stopped seeing people.Okay, just was was there pressure on you tocome back and run thefamily business at all?My brother was helping with that.I've made it clear from early on that Ididn't want to do that.Yeah, but there was a little bit ofpressure up front and I told him I waslike, that's not being a boy.Yeah, but the mail.Yeah, I was like, I don't want to yeah,that's not the career path.I'm taking.Yeah.So did he end up kind of isolating himself?Yeah and not seeing friends not going tomosque family or no family noteven your mom, sister cousins.What about you?Yeah, absolutely.So you and your brotherbecame his only people.Yeah, see what about his daughter and hisgirlfriend and thenyour brother's girlfriend.No, my my dad's girlfriend.Oh, so he has a girlfriend.Yeah.Okay.Has she been there since he got to Americabasically like with him a long time?She's yeah, she's beenhim with him for a while.So she's been here during the progression.She's lives in Morocco and visits.Okay, but she'll come here for extendedperiods of time, butpretty much that was it.He had her and me and my brother and yeah,he kind of just isolated himself didn'tenjoy being around people and it's a veryinteresting disease because the morestressed out you get the more you shake.Yeah, so he would go to a restaurant.He'd be fine.Then the waiter would start asking himquestions and he'd start shaking a littlebit and then he'd notice someone looked athim shaking and he starts shaking more.So it's really toughand it got interesting.It's tied psychologically.Yeah.That it what's going on in your brain cantrigger it like right then.Yeah, it's not just the likean autoimmune physical thing.There's I was I was talking about thiswhere psilocybin is being experimented onwith Parkinson's patients.So minor doses ofpsilocybin magic mushrooms, right?And it's helping because it reduces theanxiety and the depression and it has apositive impact on the onthe twitching and the shaking.Yeah, fascinating stuff.But there is a mind body component, youknow, obviously but yeah, more apsychological mind part of it.So it the area that creates dopamine inyour brain doesn't create it anymore whenyou have Parkinson's.That's one of the main causes.So I'm sure that helpswith with the psilocybin.But so then you're taking a medicine thatcreates fake dopamine and that's dangerousbecause you're taking a dopamine pill.But yes, pretty crazy.Did the dopamine pillmake the Parkinson's worse?No, it made may have made the Parkinson'sworse, but it helped with thesymptoms at that point in time.So he was shakeless.Okay.So basically if his brain chemistry wasregulated, then he should he shook less.Yes.So did he try any experimental?Well, he's he's pretty much good now.So what happened?So he found out about a surgerycalled deep brain stimulation.Deep brain stimulation.This is pretty incredible.I think Nathan gave me the update and I'mcurious to hear this actually.It's absolutely fascinating.It's one of the most incredible things thatI've seen and it's like I've alwaysrespected doctors andnurses, but seeing this go down.I was like these people are God sense andthis is like it mademe reconsider my career.I was like, this is a real fucking job.Yeah, like what I'm doing is I'm justmaking money like this is areal fucking me with these exactly.Okay.So for your dad's Parkinson's that he hadhad for what 14 years, he's tried this newsurgery called braindeep brain stimulation.Brain stimulation.Okay.So for our listeners who maybe have aregoing through that or have family members,can you describe what that is?Yeah, absolutely.So what they do is theyinsert a device into your brain.So it's brain surgery.Okay, and you have your right side of yourbrain, your left side of your brain.So there's two devices in there and theyinsert a device in a battery that devicegoes all the way into like the middle partof your head where your dopamine is createdand it that device with the battery heatsup that area in your brain.So that it starts creating dopamine again,because that's what's created that heatthat pressure in there.There's obviously a scientific explanationthat I don't know, but this is how thedoctor explained it to me.So this device isconnected to a remote, right?You turn it on and it starts heating upthat area of your brain and pretty muchreverses what caused your Parkinson's.So instead of you lacking dopamine for itnot being able to heat up now, it heats upand you're producing dopamine like normal.So you stop shaking and you literally havea device that you can turn onor turn off that controls that.That is amazing.It's it's it's insane.Didn't Nathan, I think he might have beentelling me it might have I might beconfusing things, but wasn't he awake asthey were doing it ordid he get knocked out?He got knocked out.He did.Okay.Yeah.Yeah.He he got knocked out.They put it in and then they will come upand tested it on him for thefirst time while he was awake.Okay, but how long was hein surgery for four hours?Maybe five and was this in St.St. Pete, Tampa General.So Tampa General in Floridadoes the doctor Oliver Flutie.Shout out to that man.Absolute impeccable human great doctor veryrespected in that hospital.Clearly very young man.He just changed all of our lives.That is amazing.With his hands.So your dad now canfunction normally doesn't shake.He doesn't shake.Yeah, this park.So everyone associates theshaking with Parkinson's, right?Were there other things like psychologicalthings or mind function symptoms?Yeah, or yeah.Well, I think the psychological things weremainly created by a you shaking how youfeel by yourself and be the medicine youtake because you're pretty much taking.A medicine that creates fake dopamine inyour head and that leads to compulsivebehaviors like like I was just readingabout this because I didn't even know whatthis drug was until years in my dad takingit and I actually listen toa podcast and heard about it.But this medicine creating fake dopaminegives you compulsivehabits like drinking gambling.Trying to sleep around double-edged sword.Yeah.Were you seeing your dad having any ofthose traits from that medicine?Not necessarily, but I spent very littletime with my dad being going to college andthen yeah, Boston, etc.So I wasn't with him forextended periods of time.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.So all of these symptoms, I'm just readingabout him, but he's done with that, right?He doesn't take the medicine anymore.So he's living a normal life now.He got another lease on his life.And how long ago was this?January.So it was recent.Very recent.Yeah.And is the recovery minimal?It's a couple weeks.I went up there.I took care of him.I took him to surgery, stayed with himthroughout surgery, took care of him untilhe was back to like 80, 90%.It's a miracle.Yeah, it's a miracle.It's a hundred percent a miracle.It's a miracle.So what how has he retackled life?What things has he done again?Now?He's been traveling.Yeah.He's been literally justenjoying his life, working out.He's living the life of a young man again.Has a smile again.Yeah.He can hold his grandson.Yeah, probably couldn'tas well before right now.He was scared to.Yes, I mean, yeah.Like he was so self-conscious that hewouldn't want to do that.That's amazing.That's amazing.I mean, that is God's son.I think in the world a couple months ago.He's he's a new man.It's it's really really incredible.And you said he's going to be 63.He's so young man.I know it sounds old to you guys, but trustme, you're still living when you're thatage.Absolutely.So you're not even retired for most people.No, that's absolutely okay.So again, if anyone has a family member orsuffering this themselves, it's called deepbrain stimulation, deep brain stimulationand Tampa General definitely does it.And the doctor again, Oliver Flutie, DoctorOliver Flutie,incredible man, great man, greatdoctor life change.And the success rate is your dad.Is that a pretty normal example of thesuccess rate of the surgery?Yep.The doctor was like don't youhave nothing to worry about?He's like we do this all the time now andit's it's it's successful.I'm blown away.Me too.And listen, I may have messed up or gottensome of the detailswrong around the sicknessto medicine, etc.I'm not a doctor obviously, but that's thesurgery he got and that's the results thatI've seen with my own eyes.It's amazing.People can just go Google it.Yeah, don't take my word for it.That is I'm all Tampa General.They'll tell you all about it.I'm so happy for your dad for you, yourbrother, your wholefamily, your nephew, your wholefamily.Yeah, it just I am so it's so wonderful.Yeah, that's that's great.So that's that's like 2025.Anything else can happen that 2025 isalready the best year.Yep for that.So it's crazy.He's walking around with two batteries inhis head at all times.Can you see them likethey're probably small, right?Yeah, so the doctor being the genius thathe is, he put thedevices in right where hishairline starts.So his hairline covers the scars.It's amazing.Yeah, it's amazing to go to like afollow-up to get the batteries eitherrecharged or replacedor I imagine there'ssome maintenance to go on.25 year battery.Shit.Yeah, new new technology, the latest one.Yeah, and usually a lotof people do one battery.And then it's takes up more energy.So it's a shorter time frame.The doctor goes, Irecommend you getting to your 60.You'll probably never have to get a change.That's wow.Yeah.So were you having to help him out at allonce you got out ofschool and you were working,were you having to go back to St.Pete to like help him when he was in thedeep throes of the suffering?No, because thankfully mybrother was always there.Okay, my brother never left St.Pete.So my brother was always taking him to hisdoctor's appointments,helping him out, whateverhe needed.And my dad being the man that he was wasn'tthe one the type to ask for help.So yeah, I was either my brother would helphim out with things or he would just figureit out.Yeah.Yeah.Was there anything that you learned fromwatching your dad gothrough this that you took awayfrom it?Like short.So enjoy it.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.One day you could be healthy the next year.Yeah.I have a disease like Parkinson's that willcompletely change your life, whatever.Yeah.So enjoy it.Yeah, it's true.It's it's somethingthat it's easy to forget.Yeah.Every day truly is a giftand your health is a gift.They always say like people for most peopleyou have a hundred problems, but if you aresuffering from a health issue, you onlyhave one problem and that's it.So your health is is the number one thing.Yep.So a lot of people have a lot of money anda lot of resources and they get cancer anddie.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.Unfortunately, so very important.I'm I'm I'm absolutelythrilled for your family.I just I can't imagine now when was thelast time you saw your mom?January last year.How often do you see her?I try to go once ayear this year with work.It's delayed, but I plan to go July 3rd andthen do you stay for awhile when you go backthere?It's about 1520 days.Okay, which of courseis not enough for her.No, no, I come for a month.I'm like mom.I have a career and a job.I can't leave her mom.Can she not come back here at all?Not yet.You want to figure that out for is therehope that eventuallyshe will be able to she onlike is there some US law like if you get aseven years seven year violation?Okay.Yeah.So you got to be coming up on that, right?We're past it.So now it's just paperwork, paperworkreapply got rejected and Iwas got to hire a good lawyerthat knows what he's doing.He's done this before.Yeah.And hopefully they'll help her out and it'stough time right now to write.It's yeah, it's not the ideal time to try.I told her lastadministration is probably your best shot.Yeah, it just got droppedoff in Mexico and walked over.Yeah, yeah, it's true.But but she probablydoesn't want to live here again.Does she?I want to live here.So just the freedom shecan't even come visit, right?So it's just thefreedom to be able to visit.Yeah.So I mean, hopefully I assume by the timeat least your you have a family.Hopefully this will all be I'm sure it'skilling her that she can't see her.Has she seen him?No, not yet been nine months.She hasn't seen them yet.So me and my brother trying to get thatfigured out so she can at least come seecome see him here because it'seasier for her to come here than threepeople to go over there.Right, right.And they probably want the baby a littleolder even before theywould take him over there.So but I'm sure they FaceTime.Yeah, all that stuff.All that all that stuff.So I'm sure she's absolutely both yourparents are over the moonabout being grandparents.Oh, yeah.Yeah.Yeah, that's that's thenext thing on our list.Hopefully I've been lookingforward to that for 10 years.Oh, I can't evenimagine like here that Nathan.Yeah.Oh, he knows he knows he knows.Okay, so I have to ask you because you areout there on the heart of it.What is it like for your age out theredating because you have the dating apps.You have social mediawhen we were growing up.It was just old school meet people face toface and maybe callthem on a landline phoneand maybe make plans for the weekend.And that was it for you guys.I feel like there's somany variables involved.There is there are Idon't use the dating apps.So I can't really speak to that much.I did back like around college right out ofcollege, but don'treally use them too much.But it's interesting.I mean a lot of people's initial contactsare established over social media.Like I've met a lot of friends and girlsthat I've maybe dated ortaken out on a date or somethinglike that via social media stumble across aprofile like a good-looking person lookslike they got a decent life.We have some friends in common.Let me reach out.So that's interesting.I think a lot of people are now relying onsocial media and onthe dating apps and won'tjust walk up to a girl at and everything Isay is from a man'sperspective because I don'thave the other but walk up to a girl at abar and just ask her for her name number.How you doing?Let me take you out.Let me get to know you whatever it may be.So it's very interesting.I think it makes things simpler for theguys that are willing togo out and talk to girlsand meet them and not nervousor worried about those things.But yeah, it's do you get so are you one?Are those guys that will goup and just talk to a girl?It depends.I feel like when I'm out more more oftenthan not but like I don'tjust randomly see a girl walkingdown the street or like right a gym orsomething and just walk up.I should but I don't whenyou have approached girls.Is it up to get a positive response or theykind of taken aback thatyou're using this approach?Depends on the girl.Yeah, depends on my approach friends whereyou're approaching them.Yeah, it's a really wide range of answersthere but certaingirls want to meet someone.So they'll talk to you.They'll get to know you and they'll eitherenjoy the conversation or their walk away.Right.Just like anyone else would some girls arestuck up and don't wantanyone to walk up to them unlessthey pick them.So there's that and somegirls will walk up to you.It just depends on your luck and what youdo how you walk up what you say.Are you getting the vibe though that ingeneral people your age dostill want to get married have afamily have a future or is it still verymuch dating hookup culture for your age?I feel like most of myguy friends want kids.A lot of girls I know don't want kids.That's interesting.Very interesting.Interesting.That is.But I'd say most of my close friends otherthan the couple plan toget married and have kids.What about your friends that are girls?They're the ones who are saying they don'twant kids not like all of them but a lot ofgirls that I know don'twant to have kids.There's a shift.Yeah.What is that shift?What do you think is going on?I know what's going on.There's a shift with thegens and I could be wrong.I'm curious your thoughtson it with the Gen Z girls.There's a shift I think because that wellwe've talked about this the GenZ girls are not going to take onthe domestic load at homelike the Gen X women did.They have higher standards and expectationsof their partner and I think they also viewhaving kids is givingover a lot of themselves and a lot of theirlife and I don't know ifthey're willing to do that.I'm curious that I get your perspective.Yeah.Talked a lot about that.But do you does that resonate?Yeah, that was going to ask you.Do you think that they they don't want tocarry the domestic load?Is that part of thebaggage of it in the sense or?I would think so.I think that a lot of them just either havehigher expectations their quoteson them of what they want to dowith their lives.I think it's common when a lot of people ora lot of women that are stay-at-home moms.You ask them what they do and they say I'mjust a mom which is not something to say.I'm just about having been raised by a momwho's a stay-at-home mom.It's job that doesn't end.Yeah.But it's just the the culture now.You should have your career.You should be making your own money.You should be independent girl boss,whatever you want to call it.Yeah, and that just doesn't align withhaving kids because a lot oftimes people think of having kidsand they're like all thewife's going to stay at home.The mom's going to stay at home and takecare of them and feel like a lot of peoplein our generation view thatas like you settled.Yeah, yeah, I do.I think that the and I do think there arewomen in your generation thatdo want to be stay-at-home moms.I think that they are getting they do getjudged for sure like their viewed as liketradwives or somethinglike that.But I think you're right.I think it's that the value of a momstaying home and raising the kids has haslowered been lowered so much in theireyes or they naturally think or theyautomatically think it would be them.But maybe if you maybe when you meetsomeone you talk about the rules, you neverknow there could be a guythat's like I'll stayhome if you want to work.Honestly, there are guys.Yeah, if I got the offer, I would do it.Yeah.She's girl bossing like that.And if the guy was like I'll work from homeand I'll take care of the kid like there'sways to work this out.100% there's ways to work this out.Like it's their detriment if theyautomatically think they'rethe ones that would stay home.They're almost being misogynistic aboutthemselves because there could be guys outthere that would meet them halfwayand say no we could figure this out.It's not all on you.Yeah, you have to have that conversation100% but I do think the value of althoughI'm I'm wondering if it's changingbecause I do see and again,this is just on social media.There are girls out there around your agethat are like, you know whatthis girl boss thing isn't quite.I want to live a soft life.Yeah, this is like I don't want to begrinding grinding grinding.I think this stay at home.Mom thing actually is a good deal.I've heard that from a few girls recently.They're like, I'm tired of working.I need to get married and have a kid.Yeah.I don't blame you.I think that they maybe are going throughtheir 20s and thinking that and then someof them are like, I don't want to do thisis a lot like you notthat I was a stay at home.Mom, it's you're right.It's 24 seven.It never ends.Yeah, and we and we had a very traditionalmirror and I've talked about this in our anepisode is very traditional marriage wherehe worked and I was home and I took care ofeverything on the domestic front and I if Icould go back, I would have had that moreof a conversation and divided up thedomestic load more butthat's not our generation.I think your generation has adjusted andchanged and they've watched their momstheir aunts their grandmaswork themselves to death.They're like, I don't want that notrealizing doesn't mean just because youhave a family you're going to have that youguys have evolved talk talk it out like themen in your generation.I think would meet your thewomen in your lives halfway.I don't think you guys are going to come inand say no you cook every night and you doall the cleaning and I think you guys aremore evolved than that.We have to be open to that conversation.Yeah, I agree.And I think especially with the work fromhome age now barriers never been lower.You can have a career and raise kids.I don't know how you would do that.I don't you might have to bring in someoneto help, you know, but you're at leaststill there's still a parent, you know,having someone help you and the parent isin the house is differentthan my buddy's daycare.Yeah, my buddy's doing that works great.Yeah, I had I had someone in the housegrowing up as well in Morocco.Yeah, and it's helpful.I mean, there's a lot of shit to do always.Oh, always.But then they're not just left with astranger and you're not there.Yeah, you know, or with a person likeyou're still there'sstill a parent present.Yeah.So there's ways to do this and I think yourgeneration like you said, we even work fromhome has all of the optionsto make it work as a couple.Yeah, and it doesn't have to be theseautomatic roles likeyour roles can be fluid.They can change.So one person may have a better paying jobfor five years and then the other personmay get you know, I mean,so I I just still be curious to see how ifthe girls in your generation more of themopen to that possibility because I think alot of them are like our thinking I don'twant to just be tied down by taking care ofa family, but I think there's ways to notyou're not going tonecessarily be tied down.Do you guys think though it's tied down toa family or tied into a relationshipbecause you can be the dink.That's exactly what Iwas just about to say.I was going to say that I feel like a lotof the people you hear this from guys andgirls just haven't found their person yet.Yeah, and you do andthen you're like, oh shit.Well, I didn't think aboutgetting married, but that's my girl.That's my guy.I'm going to stay with them and you getmarried and you're like, well, I will havea kid with that person andall of that starts to change.You're right.Yeah, no, I think you'reright, but I think you're spot on.Yeah, but I do think it's important to havethat conversation about theroles before you get married.I always say thatestablished have that talk.Like how do you see thishome running when we have kids?How do you start it right from the becausea lot of people will wait get married andthen they realize we're on two totallydifferent pages and then it doesn't work.Yeah.Okay.So I have another question just to get youropinion from someone your age.I personally think that when a guy meetsthis person, he knowspretty quickly and within a year.He knows if he's going to marry her and hewill make his move within ayear or two to lock her down.Do you think that's true?I don't know.I really don't.I haven't experienced that yet.So have do you know anyonewho's gone through that yet?Yeah, I know a couple people that met theirgirl or girlfriend and pretty quickly werelike, this is my one.Sometimes it doesn't workout, but sometimes it does.Yeah.Yeah.Now, what about as far as even dating likehis situation ships and all that arerampant in your generation?I'm assuming you have had girlfriends.I have so before you've take have you knownpretty quickly thegirls that you have dated?Have you known pretty quickly?I'm going to date her.Yeah.Okay, right away.So that would be the equivalent.Yeah of that.I would think so.Yeah.Yeah, like my ex-girlfriend in college.I think I wanted to date her.I don't know if you wanted to date me, butI kind of like wiggled myway in there high school.Same thing.Girl was on the soccer team.I was on the soccer team andnot to sound like a weirdo.I was 15, but like I wouldwatch after I would practice.I'd watch them practice.I was like, oh, I needthat girl right there.So I've always had like a someone that Iwanted in whether I've gotten them or notwhen I did get them thatended up being a relationship.Yeah.So do you think it's fair to say a guyknows when it's someone either is going todate or marry a guy knows what he wants?Yeah, and he'll go for it.Like here's here's the way I put it a guyknows whether he wants to have fun with thegirl whether he wants totake her serious pretty quickly.Okay, and I always say a girl if you if agirl feels confused about a guy then hethen he's not sure aboutlike he shouldn't feel confused.If a guy wants you andlikes you he makes it clear.It depends on the age in college.It's all confusion because in collegeyou're fighting the battle of I want thisperson, but I'm really youngand this is my college experience.So it's constantly pushing and pulling ofthat a lot of people meet someone incollege that may have worked out for them,but they're just not mature enough yet.But at an older age post graduation like 25plus I think it should be pretty.It should be pretty clear clear.Yeah, so if that's my opinion if a guy isbreadcrumbing you or dangling the carrotand carrying a situation ship situationship then should the girl kind of assumehe's not going to date you?Yeah, I don't think so.Right.Yeah, that's what I think.That's what I wanted.No, no, no.Yeah, it's the dragging onand well, I kind of like you.I like you, but that's you see they'relooking for company sex or just somethingin between there in that scenario.Do you think the guy has a couple of thosegoing on would that bemore of a typical thing?A lot a lot of times yes, but I don't thinkit's exclusive to guys.I think a lot of girls have a lot of thingson the side going on as well.But a person that does that consistentlyusually has a couple of people,especially my generation.It's called a roster.But usually there's athere's a couple of people.Now, when you when you say girls do it, dothey also breadcrumb?And meaning, you know, I'll give you alittle bit here, a little bit here,just to keep you in. Yeah.Well, it's different because with guys, asif a girl is giving you sex,that's pretty much all right.Do you care about tostay in the picture?
• 2:16:56
  Right.So with I feel like with girls, it's abreadcrumb, breadcrumb of sex.And with guys, it's a breadcrumb ofattention and emotions.Yeah. Right. And that'sthat's the difference.So some girls just want tohave someone that they can callwhenever they want to and get laid.But don't you think like I know people saylike girls do situationships, too.But don't you think it'srare that a girl is doing thatand the guy is wanting to lockher down and she's like, no, no,I just want to have sex.Is it isn't it more guys?Because I just don't it seems like if theguy is getting sex, like you said,and that's pretty much what he wants, thenwhen did there be fewlike a few number of guys that would belike, no, but I also want a relationship.And she's like, no, Ijust want to have sex.I think a girl is quicker tocut it off if a guy gets feelings.So she doesn't have to deal with that.OK, versus a guy, a lotof guys, not all guys.They'll drag it on as long as they need to.They'll play the mind.They'll play the mind game.She doesn't want to deal with that.Certain guys are definitely like that.Certain girls are like that as well.But I feel like girls don't get too messywhen it comes to that.They're just like, thisguy wants me way too much.I'm just getting out of itversus a guy sometimes is like.I got this girl.She wants me like I got this in the bag.I can do whatever I want in this situation.And and he will as long as she allows it.And that's why I say I think it's on thegirls to they're in controlof the situation, andhow far it goes in general.I know there's girlsthat play the game, too.But in general, at leastwhen it's going off a guy,I think the girl is the onethat can either stop it or not.And if she's giving itup, she's not stopping.Yeah. Well, sometimes you don't know.Sometimes you see a lightat the end of the tunnel.But it's just someone's flashlight.It's not an actual.So that's why I say by three months,they need to have aconversation and be like, what is this?And if he can't answer,then they need to walk away.Three months is probably agood amount of time for that.Yeah, I would say so.If it's like consistent for three months.Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think twomonths, but I don't know aboutwith your generation, twomonths may sound too fastand two months may feel toosoon to truly know someone.It depends on the three months.I feel like.It could be threemonths where you saw someoneonce a month or every other weekend.That's very different than three monthswhere you're meeting with someone.Sometimes it's a month and a half whereyou're seeing someonemultiple times a week all the time.True. Then it's like,what are we doing here?Versus like they could itcould be a three months whereI see a girl two weeks in a row and I don'tsee her for like a month.And I see her again acouple of times in a row.So like that emotion comes up and then itfades and then it comes up again.And it's like you're notthinking about them too much.But if it's all back to back to back,you're always hanging out with them.You're always with them.
• 2:20:02
  It's like, allright, what are we doing here?That speeds up the timeline.And then I feel like that'smore the girls probably saying,what are we doing heremore than the guy?
• 2:20:09
  Right.More. Yeah, guysdefinitely say that as well.But I think girls wouldprobably say that more.Yeah. Yeah. Do youthink that that's affecteddating for you guys,this whole situation ship?Or do you think it actually is a pro andallows you to get to knowdifferent people and have all thesedifferent experienceswith different people?I think it depends how you take it.I think it definitely lets you allows youto know a lot of different peopleand know what you like in a ina person, what you don't like.I think it's always also given birth tothis red flag generation.In this era where it's like and I sawsomething on the podcast the other dayfrom Andrew Schultz, wherehe was like, this red flagshit is just people that are lonely tryingto be with someone theydon't want to be with.And they're like, oh,that's the red flag I don't like.It's like if you really liked someone,there's a bunch of red flags,but you just fucking figure itout and deal with them. Yeah.True. I mean, barring abuse.Of course. Yeah.
• 2:21:12
  Yeah.Yeah. That's not a red flag.That's yeah. Yeah. That's a run. Yeah.That's a run. Find help.Yeah. But you're saying yes. Yeah. Becausefor sure in our generation,we all look past the redflags and just went for it.And then we either worked it out or wemight have gotten divorced 10 years later.But yeah, your generation isway aware of red flags. Yeah.Like I. Yeah. I knew this girl that showedme a shared notes documentthat she had with her girlfriends and itwas 300 points long of red flags.Yeah. And it was shit like when you comehome and he's on the couch,cuddled up in a blanket.
• 2:21:48
  Well, that's likeX. Yeah. X. Yeah.
• 2:21:50
  Yeah.Like red flags and X.
• 2:21:53
  Yeah. It's like,yeah. What are we doing here?No. And it's the question of are the Xgoing to stop you from dating this guy?Because it's reallyanalysis paralysis.
• 2:22:04
  Yeah.Like you start picking apart something somuch that you're not going to moveforward with anything because someone,everyone's going to have something.Yeah. Well, you know, it's it's it.I think it's indicative of just ourgeneration of having a ton of optionsfor everything, whetherit's food on Uber Eats,whether it's places to travel because youcan go anywhere you want to.People to date because of social media, youhave a thousand followersand that's not that many nowadays. Yeah.So you're seeing all these people andyou're like, well, I could have that.Like, no, you're notgoing to have that.
• 2:22:40
  Right.You're going to have thesame or similar type of peoplethat you've been withyour whole life for a reason.So it's just too many options all around.I think you're right. And I think it's it'sso much that no one can make a decision.Yeah. And like a lot becausethere's always that thought.But there could besomething else better.
• 2:22:59
  I'm settling.Yeah, you're suddenlyyou think you're settling.Yeah. Like that, because there could bethat next thing, that next thing.And then eventually you may if you liveyour life like that, you're like 50and you never made adecision or or did anything.You just are constantlyand there's people like that.There's people that are 40, 45, 50 thathaven't done anything.And they're from an older generation.So I can't even imagine for you guys thedetriment that that can have.Yeah. Sometimes youjust got to take a risk.Like you got to go for it.Yeah, you got to go for it.It might be some things you don't like andyou can work them out.But if you're not willing to take thatrisk, you just end up surface level.You got to try. Yeah, you got to try.I think we talked about thatone of our earliest episodesis if you think you've metsomeone, you've got to just do it.Have the full authentic experience.And like you're saying, if it falls apart,you at least had an experience, butconstantly dipping your toe in the waterand never jumping in, you're not living.You got to go for it sometime or elseyou're really only getting like 20 percentof what this whole experience could be.Yeah. And every experiencegives you something to learn.You learn something like you had saidearlier with your job, your first job.You learned what you don't want.Same with dating. Same with dating.And every I always sayevery person you dateis a stepping stoneleading you to your person.So but if you never take those steps,you're not going to get there.You know, and I know there's going to bewomen are like, well, I don't want to getmy but most people do want to partner.You know, I even with the girl boss and allthat, I think most people invariablywant that person that's their person, thatis their best friend.They can talk to about anything.You know, life's not easy.So it's much easier to doit with your best friend.But you got to be open to that.So I think it's what's natural.Yeah. A man and a woman find each other,get married, have kids.You start a family.Yeah. Like that's natural.And people can try tofight that in whatever ways.There's plenty of ways that that they do.But the end of the day, that's what's beengoing on for all of humanity.And that's what's natural.Well, it can give yourlife a lot of meaning to.Yeah. And purpose anddirection and all those things.I think honestly, his perspective is themost completely we've had so far.Yeah, because we've focused so much on guysare doing a situation ship to girls.But you brought up a really good point.They're doing it as well.So the whole situation is really tough foreverybody involved, I think, in that.And everything youguys just said is spot on.But this is a two way street and it's notjust guys trying to getinto situation ships with girls.I think it's interesting that you broughtup and I think this is true.The girls that are doingit, they just cut out faster.But the boys are willing to string it alongfurther because it's about sex.And it might be aboutsex for the girl, too.But that's all it is.Wants no feels, emotions or anything.She's willing to dip sooner.Yeah, I think this wasbecause she gets the ache.Yeah. Yeah. Especially in South Florida.There's a lot of people down here.There's a lot ofoptions. There's a lot of money.There's a lot of people that can give youreally cool experiences.So especially with girls, like guys willspend a fuck ton of money on you.Guys will take you out, they'll buy youshit, they'll help you travel, etc.So a lot of girls just have so many optionsthat they're like, well,I got this rich guy that'slike kind of weird, but like,they'll take me out on his yacht whenever Iwant to go out on it.So I'll keep him around.And that's that's the competition, right?These guys that are willing to rent aFerrari or Lambo for the weekendand give the perception ofthey've got all this money.Yeah. But maybe they own itor they own it. Yeah.
• 2:26:45
  Yeah.I think that's not just a detriment tothough, to the young men,but to the young women, too, because thoseyoung women are going to beconstantly enamored with the new shiny toyand the new guy with the new shiny toy.And eventually you have.And I say this and Iknow people get triggered.You've given away your baby years.With all those experiences,but not with an authentic one.So as much as it createsunfair competition fornormal down to earth guysthat aren't renting Lambo's or own Lambo'sor whatever, but the girls,it's almost like a dopamine hit, right?Yeah. You know, thenew thing, the new thing.And then eventually, youknow, you might have wasted10 to 15 years with those experiences asfun and as cool as they were.It can be addicting probably.And you don't realize how long you've beendoing it until all of a suddenyou wake up one day andyou're like, oh, God, I want to.You know, I'd like to have a relationship.I'd like to get married, like to have kids.So I think for girls, that's a cautionarytale of go have go have fun.Enjoy yourself.But have a goal.Like be aware of timing andmaybe set a goal like, OK,I'm going to do this for two years and thenI'm going to make an adjustment.You know, I don't think that'sunrealistic for your generation.I don't know, though.There may be some young girls that arewould be bothered by me saying that,that I'm not meaning topress them or anything.I just it's almost likerespect their goals and reallydefine them and not get caught up inbecause it can be afast life doing all that.Yeah. And before you know it, three yearshave gone by, you know,and for you guys to, you know, and gettingcaught up in that next thing,next thing and all that.
• 2:28:30
  So and socialmedia doesn't help with that.Yeah. Because everyone looks so happy.Yeah. Social media and everyone's vacationis the greatest vacation of all time.Yeah. And everyone's living a cooler, morefun life than you are on social media.But like you get to know some of thesepeople and it's like, that's tough.What you're doing, you're just putting up afacade on social media.And there's plenty ofpeople that aren't like that.And there's plenty ofexamples that aren't like that.But there's also plenty that are.Yeah. No, the FOMO is real.And it's I think with maturity comes arealization that it's not real,that what they're doing isnot real. It's an illusion.Signaling. Yes, exactly.
• 2:29:08
  Exactly.So do you do you believe in or do youI guess this chivalrya part of your dating?Like, do you open the door, open the cardoor, do you do all those things?Yeah, absolutely. Do you what about pain?Guy pays for everythingright off the bat early on. Yes.Now, do you once you start dating, I thinkthat can shift a little bitwhen you're like in anestablished relationship.I think it's you see itoften. It's pretty normal.My relationships have been like that, wherewhen you start dating a girl,what even if it's something like you'regoing out to Chipotle and she's like,yeah, you paid for our dateyesterday. I'll buy this meal.Yeah, I think that's pretty common.But early on, I don't think you're going totake out a girl and expect her to pay.And I don't think itmakes sense for you to.Now, do you subscribe to the new coffeedate thing people are doingwhere the first day it's a coffee date, nota commitment to a dinner?I get it for sure.I haven't been on a coffee date before,but I completely understandthat. Yeah, I have a question.I always thought it's not a bad move.It's like where you go to acoffee shop instead of dinner.So do you want to meetat two o'clock or one day?Shorter time. Yeah.Quicker, quicker in and out. Exactly.Yeah, almost like a littleform of speed dating in a way.Yeah. Is that a kind of likethat wouldn't be like if you'reit could be I guess that itfits in all types of scenarios.But is that more of a tinderthing or something like that?No, first first date, just the first day.Well, I mean, if you meet on a dating app,but you can even do it on in a DMasking someone out or like or face to face,like I'll get in touch with you.A nice breaker.Yeah, I think it's for both.Like you're not committing fully to dinner.So if like one of you doesn't like theother, you can get out of therein like an hour asopposed to a full dinner.And also if the guy's pain, it's less of afinancial obligation.Yeah. And then thesecond date, usually dinner.So you semi time box theevent into an hour or two coffeewith the mutual understandingit's ending in an hour or two.No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.What I think it is is that a lot of times,either whether a lot oftimes it's drinks, not dinner.And even if it is dinner, a lot of timethere's alcohol involvedand people get loose, have fun on alcoholand you might make a bad decision.Right. Coffee date, you're drinking coffee,you're there, you're aware.Nothing's getting past you.So you can actually get a feel for someone.I think that's what the difference is.Instead of going out and getting a littledrunk and good music,we're having a good time.Yeah, it sounds like a veryhealthy, sober, real experience.No, I think I think it's great.And as far as timing, if it's going well,it could go four hoursif you wanted to. I don't think.But if it's not, you can get out of there.But I have seen and I do know of peoplethis has happened to in real life,not just on social media, where there'sguys that are wantingto split the coffee date bill.So the bill's like fifteen dollars.You probably shouldn't betaking a girl on a date.I know. Right.Don't you think now that's a red flag?Yeah, I would think that's a red flag.You can't pick up this fifteen dollar tab.Then I however much it is,it's you ask the girl on a date.Yes. You're the man.And this probably is going to get peopleonline saying, well, it's not true.It doesn't matter ifyou're a man or woman.
• 2:32:43
  It does.You're the man you're paying.Well, if you're asking, you've asked her.So your host, what if you're asking her?What if she asks, I'm with you for therecord, 100 percent men should payuntil they should just pay.It's just the way it is agreed.But what if they do ask is does that flipit like for the first date?Yeah. No, no.I mean, no, I think a guy should.Well, for him and I, it doesn't.I'm with you. I agree, too.But does it like I mean, if I asked the guyon a day, we're going back.If I asked the guy on a date.I might offer to split it.If I asked the guy on a date, if I plan itand I was like, let's go, I mightoffered I might take careof my ticket or whatever.But I wouldn't pay forhis. That would feel weird.Yeah. But then I wouldwant him to know I get it.You and I are from a different generation.And Henry like, no, no, no, I got it.But yeah, I think if I plan, if I asked thedate, then I would, you know,but I don't know what year it's the thingnow with like my friend groupand my generation, and it'slike you take a girl out on a dateand the check comes and she kind of reachesfor it or like offers split it.There's a sense of appreciation there, butshe's not going to pay for it.Right. I'm not personally, I'mnot going to let her pay for it.But like a girl that thecheck comes and she's like,do you want to split it or I'll get it orjust grabs it or something like that?I can definitely have asense of appreciation there.But at the end of the day,I'm not going to let them pay.So that's a green flag for a guy becausenow you know you're not just getting usedper se or she's just good. Yeah. Yeah.Now, what is she doesn't do that, though?She sits there. Is that bad?No, not for me. OK.
• 2:34:20
  OK. Not for me.I don't expect anythingwhen it comes to that. Yeah.I'm paying. That's how I was raised.My dad was like that, whether it waswith my mom or my mom's family or my mom'sfriends or anything like that.My dad's pain. Mm hmm. Right.Just women. Yeah.
• 2:34:38
  Yeah.Or even if my we went out withmy dad, my mom and her brother.My dad's going to pay.
• 2:34:45
  OK. Yeah. He's justlike that. Yeah.
• 2:34:47
  Yeah.And that's where I get it from. Yeah.Now, what about do you find that a lot?I just can't imagine this in your circle.But there are a lot of men out there thatare have that feeling.If they pay for a dinner, let's say thatshe should be coming back to his place.And when they don't when thegirl doesn't, they feel used.They feel they wereused for a dinner.
• 2:35:09
  Yeah.Is that something you'veheard about it? Yes, for sure.And does that make any sense to you?It depends. Like we'retalking a second date, maybe.Yeah, I mean, it just depends.I mean, you can't expect anything.You can't go inexpecting sex like I get it.I don't think it's necessarily that youfeel like you're used.I think that's what you tell yourself tomake yourself feel better.Like if a girl wanted to go home and havesex with your fucking,she's going to do that. Right. OK.But sometimes you'll take agirl out, you think it went well.She doesn't think it went well.And you're like, well, shedidn't come home with me.She used me. It's like, no.The defense mechanism.
• 2:35:51
  Exactly.There's a coping mechanism.You need rejection.So but what about if agirl does like the guy,but she's just not shehas a thing for herself.I don't have sex until I'm atthis certain point with the guy.So it's not rejection of him.Like, do guys automaticallyview not having sex as rejection,where maybe it's just hertimeline, but she still likes the guy.Do they ever think of that?A lot of guys willrespect them like a girl moreif they don't go home withthem right away and they hate it.But deep down, that's the feeling.So it's a weird thing.They're upset that she didn'tgo home with them and say, well,she was maybe using me, but they alsorespect her for not going home with them.Yeah, I don't know if it'srespect, but it creates like.I need to take her out again.I need to get to know herbetter. I need to do this.I need to do that. So that happens often.And it just sticks in your head, right?Like I took this girl out.We had a great time.
• 2:36:53
  Like, why?Why didn't she want to go home with me?Why didn't you want to kiss me?Why didn't you want to have sex with me?Whatever it is.But it definitely createslike a another spark in therewhere you're like, all right,this is like it's interesting.This is a challenge.That's a good way to challenge.Is the level of respectthere, too, I think the guy has.Yeah, I agree. Yeah.And I think that easy.I think it's on the inverse side.It's more more so evidentwhere if you take a girl out and you likeher a lot first night,she goes home with you.A lot of guys, not all guys,but a lot of guys are like,that was too easy.
• 2:37:32
  Yeah.I'm not if she does itwith me, she'll do it.I'm nothing special todo with everybody else.So for girls, that's an interesting thing,because if they're not going to just ifthey have that for themselves,I don't just sleep with a guy.There needs to be a timeline here.But also the guy's pain.It's it's a weird thing wherehow how long can we go where?Where he doesn't feel used and stop becausehe thinks she's just for meals,you know, where she can continue to respectherself till she's reached that point.I guess the texting and the talking wouldbe building in between thereso he would realize he's not being used.She doesn't like him.She's just not taking that step physically.Does that make sense?Yeah, it's all communication.
• 2:38:13
  Yeah. Yeah.You can leave a first date.They don't go home with you or you don'tget what you were hoping for.But, you know, you're like,yeah, that was a great first day.We're definitely going out again.I like her. She likes me.I respect her. She respects me.So it's all a communication thing.Like a girl can just tell you, listen.Up front, I'm not goingto fuck you tonight.
• 2:38:35
  Right.It's not going to happen. Yeah.And does that ruin the night for a guy?You think about it for sure.I was going to ask ifthere is room for thattransparency to have that conversation tobe like, look, I don'tI don't have sex for the first 30 days.Yeah. If you're cool with that, we're cool.If not, I'm cool with like, is that awkwardor can a girl say that?It depends on the guy.Yeah, it's just someguys just can't take it.Some guys will do thatas a challenge. Yeah.And I think what makes that different orawkward is that a lot of girlswill tell you that up front, they'll gohome with you that night. Oh.So then you're like, yeah. Yeah.So it just depends.There's nuance to everything.You're right. You're right.But yeah. Yeah.I don't think it's a it's adeal breaker for a lot of guys.I think like you come home from a date.It wasn't great.
• 2:39:26
  The girldidn't go home with you.You're coming home to your friends andyou're like, fuck, man.Yeah. Why didn't she go home with me?I need to like figure it out. Yeah.I really like her for these reasons.It makes you think about shit more. Yeah.You know what I mean?Like if you're taking out agirl first date and you'regetting what you want, you're having sex,oftentimes you go home and you're likemission accomplished.
• 2:39:52
  Right.You know what I mean?
• 2:39:54
  Right. Yeah.It leaves less room foryou to think about shit.It's almost like if she waits, then itactually forces men to think furtherand raise the level here of their thoughtprocess with the whole thing.Yeah. Where if you feed thatinitial need, it's been satisfiedand they're not going toput much more thought into it.You're bored. Yeah.This is why I say I do think girls have alot of control over how these things go.Just by withholding.
• 2:40:20
  Ido not to do it that way.I do think it's a respectthing that I'm old school.But I think let there be room for growth inother areas because obviouslythat area is going to be fine.But let other things kind of grow out ofthis too before you finally take thatstep. Yeah. I guess.Were you going to say Iforget what I was going to say.It's all good. Do you have anything elseyou want to ask beforeI ask my last question?Sure. Just to go back to the Miami days,we're in Miami and skippedover to St. Pete, but in Miami,it's such a cultural melting pot.You mentioned the Hispanic influence, butthere's it's one of my favorite thingsabout South Florida isthe multiculturalism.Me too. If you compare it to Morocco.Does Morocco have that same multiculturalvibe and energy of of like,I think of Casablanca as this exotic spotin some ways, in American opinion orperspective, are theysimilar in that sense?Very much so. Yeah.I mean, it's I guess it's the same here.The dominant presence is Moroccans, right?But you have everything you have otherArabic people there from like Lebanon,Egypt, Algeria, Tunisia.You have foreigners from Europe, from theU.S., from anywhere in the world.And it's a huge city andit's a big melting pot.So very much so. And I always say Miamireminds me of Casablanca a lot.Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of a vibrant.Does it have that same vibrant,flashing nightlife thatMiami does in some ways or?Not as much as Miami, butI guess Miami is unique.And Miami's. Yeah.
• 2:41:57
  Yeah.Like I always say this, like people arelike, I went to the best club in Miami.I'm like, so you went to the best club inthe world pretty much.Yeah. You know what I mean?But it definitely does have that nightlife,that outgoing people,ability to meet a lot of people. Yeah.But I don't think most places you cancompare to Miami.
• 2:42:16
  Yeah.One other question.
• 2:42:18
  I don'tknow if we closed on this,but are there any goodMoroccan restaurants here?He means up by us.Up by us.Is there anything in Fort Lauderdale or?We've got the one in Miami.The one in Miami.Anything Boynton, West Palm, Boca.West Palm for sure has one.I don't know of one, but Iwould think they have one.Off the top of myhead, I can't think of any.Yeah. We can definitely look it up.The one in Miami.We'll have to go check itout, make a trip down there.I highly recommend it.
• 2:42:43
  It's really great.Yeah. Let's do that.Any other questions?OK, so my last question is always where doyou see yourself in five years?I envision myself location wise in St.Pete, St. Petersburg, around the family.But can you elaborate on that?What do you what do you mean?Just in general, from what sense likecareer wise, personal wise,if you had to fast forward five years, howold will you be in five years?21.31.31. So you'd be in your early 30s.So in any area or all areas, where do youwhat's your daily life?Anything career wise, I hope to still bewith the same company I'm at.Five years, I hope to be in the same role,but a higher tier of it.So I think I want to stay in sales for morethan five more years.That's for sure.Personally.Settle down with the woman.Whether that's married or whether that'sdating, just have someone.That's my goal, my plan.And then from a family standpoint, justtaking care of everyone.Yeah. Living near yourdad and brother over there.Yeah, I think that's great.My nephew will be six.Wow. Being scouted byprofessional soccer teams.But no, I'm kidding.But yeah, just being around the family,getting closer with the family.As I've gotten older, you realize how muchmore that's important.And yeah, taking care of my people.Yeah. Having a good amount ofmoney saved up, having a house.Yes, for great goals.Those are wonderful goals.And that would, you know, that would be anamazing way to start your 30s.So because every I think every decade hasits meanings, its lessonsand its goals and accomplishments.And it's always good as you get closer tothe next one to kind of think, OK,what do I want to get out of this decade?Because before you know it,you're on to the next decade.And I always think that's a nice way toreally live an authentic life,is to live an intentionally and not justkind of let it happen.I agree. So I think those are great goals.And we're so, so happy that you joined ustoday and you shared your story.And you opened the window a little bit intoMorocco for our listeners,because I don't think mostpeople haven't been there.And it's kind of a verymysterious place for at least,I think, a lot of people, you know, I cansay for us, you know, what?I've learned so much fromknowing you. I've learned a lot.But even today, I learned some more.So just to give us that glimpse and thenthe miracle with yourfather. Yeah, that's awesome.I mean, that's just absolutely amazing.And I know that there will be listenersthat that could be life changingfor them to havelearned that today from you.So just sharing that alone. Yeah.So absolutely.My thing is, if you wantto go to Morocco, go there.It's safe. They treat tourists very well.You can do whatever you want there, whetherit's just being a tourist,trying to blend into the culture, whetheryou want to go party there,whether you want to go on excursions.There's options for everythingand it's affordable and safe.I highly, highly recommend it.From the my dad's standpoint, medicalstandpoint, it is life changing.And I really do hope oneperson learns about thatbecause my dad's had the disease foreverand it took him a very long timeto learn about it. Yeah.It's still bleeding edge.It's still very new.But I can tell you from personalexperience, it works.And it's given my dad his life back.So if you know anyone that'sbeen affected by Parkinson'sor if you're affected by Parkinson's,definitely look at that very seriously.Yeah. An invasive surgery.But you can find a good doctor that'llthat'll be able to pull it off.Yeah. And yeah, to wrap it up, I've beenlooking forward to thisfor a very long time. Iappreciate you guys having me.I think we've all had a lot ofconversations throughout our yearsof friendship, my friendship with Nate.So it's great to be on here.Yeah, no. And it's been really awesome tohear about your journey and the challengesthat you encountered.You know, I didn't realize the differentthings that you'd gone through.And then just to see howthat led you up to Tallahasseeand aided you when you werepresented with that challenge.I'm so impressed with, you know, most kidsknow before they start collegeif they're going to have toput themselves through college.So the fact that you learnthat while you're already thereand then pulled it off, it's so impressive.I appreciate it. Really.
• 2:47:25
  It really is.It's so impressive.So I actually have a question. Yeah.And it just made me think about it,because now just talking to you andlearning more about your backgroundmakes me better understandwhy you're such a hustler.And it had been that way.What advice would you give to someone yourage that's either coming out of collegeor trying to figure their theirprofessional life out?Do you have any advice you would give tothat that makes sense or would resonate?No one's going to save you.You got to figure out your own shit.You may you're going to have support.I hope you have supportfrom your family and friends.But at the end of the day, it's your lifeand you need to figure it out.Don't be scared to take risks.They pay off. And worst thing that couldhappen is you learnsomething about yourselfand about what you were trying to do.So take risks and don't be scared toexperiment with shit,whether it's your career, whether it'sfriends, whether it's you personally,you'll figure out a lot of stuff about youthroughout the way. And.Just work hard and stuff will fall in line.I think if you have good discipline, youhave a good routine, you work hard.Things will work out foryou, especially in this country.So just pursue that.It's great advice.And I think your 20s are a great decade todo all those things youtalked about for sure,to start all that off.So that's great advice.I think on that note,we'll close. We'll close.But again, thank you, Ali, for sharing yourstory, for coming here today.And we look forward to having you back inthe future and seeing where you're at.And for our listeners, please leave anycomments or questions.And if you have any questions about thesurgery that Ali's dad had,we'll definitely make sure that we get thatinformation to Ali sowe can get a good answer.He can answer you directly.And if you have anyquestions about Morocco, same thing.Ali will see this stuff on social media orwe will get the answers for you.So please feel free to leave those and wewill see you next time.Bye.