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Rabbi Moshe Haber- The Power of Thoughtful Interaction Perashat Ekeb 8.15.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Something that I think about a lot is the following said parsha
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  Moshe is giving the most simple concept which we know of 1000
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  times and that is and if you do good a sham is there for you.
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  If you do good you get rewarded either in this world or the next
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  World. Then ways understanding most
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  simple concept. The challenge is he uses
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  complicated wording. It should be key to shmora than
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  mitzvotal when you keep them mitzvot you get blessing, you
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  get reward. Ours is Todd and give to Shmoon
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  and give literally means in place of your listening as a
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  reward for your listening at the mishmatim to the laws Ushmar Tim
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  and you're watching of these laws and then again the I see
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  Tim and doing the laws. Then we Shamar Hashem will watch
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  for you Shamu protect for you at a breed the tree that enabled
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  Akram all the reward for you and then God will love you and bless
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  you and multiply you ETA etc etc.
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  On Saturday night he goes on and on and almost should have been
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  under the greatest. So you've a lot of questions
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  here. Number one, it's a simple open
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  shot concept. You do good, you doom it's foot.
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  I shout with you. Why does he start with the words
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  aircraft Ishmu just say when you listen to it's foot, let's
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  aircraft number 1/2 as a Why is he going on such extreme
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  blessing all the sudden it's going on to the mode.
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  This is the bra hardly what wish everyone could have what
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  triggered this unique expanded blessing and you just finished
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  this from out you just exactly right.
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  The regular keeping limits What? So here's the idea.
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  What does ekev mean secondary? Literally, it means, as Targum
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  says, halaf in placement of you doing the right thing.
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  You get reward. It also means what she says Ekev
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  means to heal as referring to the mitzvot Shardam Dashbakov
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  that people step on as they walk the kind of mitzvot and people
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  step on. What does that mean?
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  So the Medaka makes an example, Avaka sharada.
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  No one speaks of sharada, a purpose deliberately, but people
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  do speak a lot of hint and innuendo and insinuating of
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  sharada, not direct but indirect avaka sharada.
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  So the Basuka coin to that Rashi is saying if you keep the small
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  things, if you keep the things that people step on, you're
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  going to get all this reward. That's the explanation of the
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  word Ekif makes it only harder. So you're not talking about the
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  big mid thought, you're talking about now this moment thought.
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  The ones that people ignore, the ones that happened in Burnley,
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  the ones that I would never do deliberately, If I keep those, I
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  get the huge bracha. Sort of the question getting
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  answered, it gets even harder. Why are we getting involved with
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  the big bracha? That's the question all of a
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  sudden for doing this well, and why are you saying the word air
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  cab? And the answer is because you're
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  dealing with the small mitzvot that people ignore and people
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  inherently mistake, make mistakes on.
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  That's what triggers the big reward.
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  I would have said you did the big thing, you get the big
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  reward. You did the big mitzvot, you
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  must send nephesh. You give your life your
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  sacrifice, you get a big reward. Somebody says you do the tiny
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  things. If you do the things that happen
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  inherently, you're careful about those things.
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  You got a big reward. What's up shop?
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  You had a question. All right.
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  I think the ideas like this, I think it's an important
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  question. It's an important answer.
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  Most of us are nice guys, all nice people.
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  Do we ever insult anybody? Honest question.
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  Usually the answer is deliberately no.
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  We never try to insult another, yell at a person or tell a
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  person off or hurt them inherently right or some kind,
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  whatever. As a byproduct of my
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  conversations. I'm sure it happens all the
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  time. Couple weeks ago I said maybe in
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  this week, I was talking about something and I said, you know,
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  if someone ever asked me to sell my own, I would never sell my
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  home. OK, I said this is a
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  conversation. So people always say so and so
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  should sell his house, sell his house.
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  If someone asked me to sell my house, I wouldn't sell it.
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  You go over to me a lot of money.
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  I'm not selling my house. I don't know.
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  Why would I sell my house if I live in and I'm used to it with
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  my children, right? And then I'm talking to a guy
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  whose parents had to move out of their home because they couldn't
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  afford it. I said this comment in front of
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  the guys. I'm telling it to him, right?
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  Do we hurt people on purpose? No.
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  But I wasn't thinking that's natural.
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  So what should have been? I was telling you that is not a
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  point. Now there's so many people like
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  this, so many nice people out there.
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  Many people are nice, soft spoken, kind hearted.
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  They say nice things, but they can inadvertently hurt people
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  left and right. A lot of nice people do a lot of
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  destructive things and not on purpose.
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  Why? Because they weren't thinking,
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  they weren't conscious. So I'm going to share everything
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  on the saying that we're talking about them.
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  It's what if you want to get rewarded, you have to be someone
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  who avoids making mistakes. And it's what and people step on
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  with the heels. I want to step on with the hill
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  literally mean, how many leaves do you crush a day?
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  How many leaves you crush a day? I'd say you walk outside and
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  deal during the fall. How many losers you crush a day?
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  Thousands. Thousands on purpose?
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  Probably none. Inadvertently thousands.
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  How many do you crush with your heel on purpose?
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  None. But by as a byproduct of your
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  walking? Many.
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  The same as acting is true. The air gave out heel with life.
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  How many people do we hurt a day on purpose?
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  0 Pretty much zero. Unless we get very upset or very
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  turned off, we don't hurt anybody inadvertently by, you
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  know, doing something that's too loud and the other person can't
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  afford it, right? We hurt someone saying a comment
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  in the conversation with the other person who's struggling
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  with that. We hurt them all right,
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  inadvertently things we can happen to make mistakes left and
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  right. Mashad, I've been saying, if you
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  want to have been a HA, you need to be a person who avoids that.
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  Avoid the heal mistakes. Avoid stepping on crushed
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  leaves, right? Stepping on leaves by mistake.
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  It's telling you now, why is this something that deserves
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  such reward? This is the key.
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  The reason it's not a deserves such reward, such a great
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  reward. And because it means you're a
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  conscious Jew. It's not enough to be a nice
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  gun. It has to be a you're a shamar.
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  You're watching, you're thinking, you're conscious.
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  Every conversation you have, you save yourself beforehand.
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  Who am I going to hurt? Who am I going to help?
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  I know in the beginning I was giving speeches.
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  The beginning, I didn't think about the crowd at all.
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  I just thought about the words. Good speech, bad speech, good
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  story, Ambassador. Now it gets a little harder, but
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  it gets a little more effective. And that is I think about the
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  crowd. I want to talk about a person
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  that, you know, the stories of people who don't have children,
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  all they know. I have to be conscious of the
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  people in the room. If they can handle it, right.
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  I'm talking about someone who's struggling financially.
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  I have to be conscious of the people in the room.
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  They can handle it. Sometimes it's Kazooke for them
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  more, sometimes it's the opposite, but you have to think
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  about now what's the difference? The difference is, are you
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  thinking or are we not thinking? There are many nice people who
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  make terrible mistakes. Why?
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  Because they may be nice people, but they're going through life
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  and it's sort of Rd. sort of way.
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  And then I think so much should have been his words are I got AK
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  of dish moon. If you keep the laws of your
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  heel, which means if you avoid making these in his very
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  mistakes, then he says the words, Oh, shmartam.
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  Shmartam means Shamira. Shamira means get consciously
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  careful. Careful means it's not just
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  enough to be a nice guy. You know, you never hurt anybody
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  directly, but you're careful. Careful means you're thinking in
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  advance. Kevin means you're the conscious
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  Jew. If you're the conscious Jew,
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  then Vasi Tang will do them as what you'll avoid crush stepping
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  on leaves. You'll avoid stepping on people
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  as a Barbarians aren't people. Some people born extra
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  sensitive, so it's easier for them to be mindful.
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  Oh, here's the key. True naturally something about
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  more mindful than others. But if you really care about
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  something and you're careful, if someone says I'm a nice guy,
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  like, you know, we have a lot of conversations that becomes a
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  drive. You say I didn't mean that,
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  right? I didn't mean that.
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  I never, I never say anything. That's harsh.
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  How come this keeps happening, this classic conversation.
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  I never say anything that's mean.
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  How come you're getting insulted and you might have not said
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  anything, but you didn't think before you spoke.
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  And yes, some people are more naturally conscious and less.
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  But if you really believe in Shalom or if you really believe
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  in feeling good for other people, give me other people
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  Hisuk making sure not to hurt them.
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  So think a step ahead, right, Shamira, there are certain
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  people are not even more sensitive, but there are people
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  who want to be a good Jew who have that Shamira and then
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  Vasita Mottam. Then you do them.
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  It's what then what happens in return is you get all this and
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  we asked you for why would you get all this with the small
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  things, right? They are you getting all the for
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  keeping, you know, avoiding A vaca Sharana.
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  It doesn't. And it's actually harder than
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  the the big. The answer is if you're good at
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  the small things, which means if you're good at avoiding, not
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  only are you nice to people, you also never hurt people, right?
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  Not only you're a caring person, you're also a fully sensitive
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  person to avoid wrong in people. And you know what?
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  You deserve that because that means that you have a
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  comprehensive approach toward other people.
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  It's not the shot that you're good at the little things.
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  No, you're good at everything if you go to the little things.
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  If you avoid hurting people, that means you're really
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  conscious before you get involved in the conversation.
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  Who am I going to help with these words?
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  Who am I going to hurt? All right, if you're avoiding
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  little things and hurting people, you're saying to
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  yourself, this happened to me a few times.
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  I was working on Hashanah and I found although I never during
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  that whatever week or month I'm working on Hashanah, I didn't
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  say anything directly with Hashanah.
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  Somehow my conversations ended up pretty disparagingly about
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  other people. I never said a word, but I said
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  something that hinted to something that basically got the
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  guy in trouble. Then I ended up in the same
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  place, probably a worse place, and there would have been had I
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  said all right, so and so was a bad guy.
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  Instead, I said so and so did this and did this and did this,
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  which led on to me and said, oh, really?
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  Did that ended up in the same place, right?
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  Is listening considered a knock? Listening.
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  He's considered Willa Shana egging on and saying, you know,
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  so and so sent his daughter to that school.
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  And then it goes down down the road.
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  You set the he set the tone. You got it rolling and you got
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  the ball rolling. And in fact, David 907 And in
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  fact, that actually can lead because you don't feel as bad.
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  The reason why chamber when he studied the word shamar is
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  because the byproduct mistakes don't feel as bad as the actual
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  I. I feel terrible yelling at you,
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  but I don't feel so bad if I say something that's gonna make you
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  feel equally as bad as yelling at you.
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  I would never yell at a person, but I would say something that
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  makes the person feel the same bed.
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  So a byprod it can actually be more destructive.
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  Sadiq Keem will call them with quotation marks can be more
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  destructive than bad people because a bad guy has a certain
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  guardrail. He stops, he has issues he
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  brought up properly somewhat. You don't yell at people, you
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  don't hurt people Ericly, but a guy was acting like a Sadiq
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  quotation Marks and inadvertently he's hurting
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  people left and right. He doesn't have any stopping
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  him. That's how much shared benefits
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  the word shamal. You have to have a guardrail.
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  You have to have you have to be conscious.
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  I'm going to avoid stepping with the heel on these things.
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  That's the point. And over time I have to be more
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  conscious than you and you get why do you get the biggest
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  because you are comprehensively a far greater person and the guy
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  only does the good thing. So if someone is complete, I
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  said Hashem loves you, Hashem protects you.
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  I gave you one example. I just we met the guy writing
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  the book for my father. So someone I didn't know the
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  story. My brother said the following
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  story. He said my father was trying to
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  had a project that needed money. Someone said go to so and so
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  he's the perfect guy, I'll pay for the project.
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  My father said no you can't go to him.
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  I said why not? He said because he has brothers,
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  he has a brother and that brother is close to me and their
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  brother's going to hear their brother does not have money and
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  their brother's going to hear that his wealthy brother
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  sponsored the project. How is he going to feel when
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  he's a simple guy and his wealthy brother's name's on it
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  and he's functioning projects and her father said you need the
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  money, can't go to him, got to go to somebody else, right?
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  So that's someone that's thinking, you know, he's saying
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  something, I'm asking for money, not thinking about the brother,
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  how he's going to feel when his brother's name's on the project,
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  right? But you have to think that way,
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  and Hashem sends you but a high left and right.
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  If you really are a person whose shamar Oh so avoid being a Sadiq
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  quotation marks. Avoid being a person who never
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  steps on a leaf ever, but ends up stepping on thousands.
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  Avoid being a person who consciously is good at whatever
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  he's good at. Would never hurt a person, but
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  subconsciously he's hurting people left and right.
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  Be shamar. Watch with your heels.
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  Don't step on something, don't inadvertently hurt another
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  person, and then you get the is not giving for the small stuff.
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  He's not he's giving for a person who's a comprehensive
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  thinking Jew have you all that way.
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  You get the the pasuk I have Kasham loves you and blesses you
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  and multiplies you and your crop because multiplied remove all
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  illness and all the challenges that Colamim and the Jewish will
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  be able to overtake other nations as a nation, et cetera,
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  et cetera, all because we're a thinking that's the idea.