Latest / Paradox Podcast / When Seasons End Part 1: Knowing It's Time to Move On
Transcript
- 0:00Foreign.
- 0:15Welcome. Welcome to the Paradox
- 0:19podcast where there are more than a pair of
- 0:23dogs. In fact, this podcast features
- 0:27three different doctors. Dr. Deborah Brazile,
- 0:30Dr. Vince Johnson Jr. And me,
- 0:34Dr. Deborah Woodson. In this journey,
- 0:38we will examine spiritual concepts that appear to
- 0:43be self contradictory, but actually they
- 0:47uncover deeper underlying truths.
- 0:51This means that many topics are on the
- 0:55table. So buckle your seat belts, put your tray table
- 0:59and your seats in the upright position because this
- 1:03ride can get a little bumpy as it may
- 1:07challenge your current intuitions. For the more
- 1:12you know, the more you realize your knowledge is limited.
- 1:15There is a whole world of knowledge waiting
- 1:19for you to discover.
- 1:35Foreign.
- 1:40Well, today we're going to talk about seasons.
- 1:44Particularly how do you know when a season is over?
- 1:47Do you want to be like the 40 year old guy who reminisces and tells
- 1:52anybody who can listen that he caught a ball on the one yard
- 1:55line when he was 16, brother, that season
- 2:00is over. Or do you want to be like the young lady
- 2:04who's been in abusive relationships? So now she has a good relationship
- 2:09but she's stuck in the abusive season.
- 2:13So be a bug on the wall and listen to these episodes
- 2:16on season.
- 2:23Well, hey, hey, hey. Welcome to the Paradox
- 2:27podcast. We're glad you here. You can be a
- 2:32speck on the wall and listen in on our conversations
- 2:36today. DEBORAH okay, so everybody,
- 2:41we have some really interesting dialogue and conversation
- 2:46and I think it's something that you're all going to identify with
- 2:49because we get into these faith journeys
- 2:53and we like to call them seasons. And I
- 2:57didn't really hear about this terminology until I was a little bit older and I
- 3:01was intrigued with it because I love God's creation and
- 3:05the seasons of, you know, those beautiful blue
- 3:09azure skies in September and the
- 3:13beautiful leaves and the foliage and then the austerity of winter and
- 3:17so on. And those seasons seem to be very,
- 3:21very easy, very effortless.
- 3:25And so I thought that's what a faith journey
- 3:29season looked like. And I realized this is not true, that it's
- 3:33not like, it's not like we're dancing and we're doing the waltz
- 3:37and then they twirl around and we do the boogie oogie. You know,
- 3:41it is, we get stuck almost
- 3:45like a recorder,
- 3:48you know, or almost like remember all the 45s and they'd
- 3:52skip or they'd get stuck in the groove. And I feel like we get
- 3:57stuck in these seasons. And so the dialogue tonight is
- 4:01about how do you know when your season is over?
- 4:06And, and some people jump out
- 4:10of it too. Quickly, Deborah was just saying, which is a very interesting
- 4:14take on it. But I think I'm the sort that I get
- 4:17stuck in something, and I don't really, like, change all that much.
- 4:21I like, pretend that I do, but I actually don't. And I get stuck.
- 4:28So, Dr. Deborah, take it away. What's your experience with seasons?
- 4:33Well, my mother used to sing this song. I hate
- 4:37to sing every episode, but here it goes. Que sera sera
- 4:42Whatever will be, will be the
- 4:47future's not yours to stay Que
- 4:51sera sera Because I always ask my mother,
- 4:56when. When we gonna get there? Because we move so many times, okay.
- 5:00And it's. It's very.
- 5:03Deborah and I are very athletic. And. And I
- 5:08was telling her, because I dance with the young girls. You know, I dance Zumba
- 5:12with the young girls. And I was like, I hate to think that I have
- 5:15to stop doing that at one point in my life.
- 5:18I just. I just. I just. I just can't. And. And I said,
- 5:22well, I'm gonna. I'll just lift some weights, Real light weights. And Deborah looked
- 5:27at me, she said, you're gonna pick up the heavy. Amen. Do one,
- 5:31too. Okay? Yeah, yeah. And she.
- 5:35And you hate to have friends that sing your. Sing your song softly
- 5:39like Roberta Flack used to talk about. But they were telling the truth.
- 5:43She was telling the truth. What I have found out. I have some
- 5:47statistics for you. Since I'm dyslexic, I had to write this down.
- 5:50There are 453 mentions of.
- 5:55And it came to pass. That's my favorite Bible verse. People,
- 5:59like, if my Bible said. They're like, okay, Deborah's gonna talk about a Bible verse.
- 6:03And I said, and it came to pass because it
- 6:07says it 453 times. If you go to the Hebrew
- 6:11Bible is over 1200 times. Mostly in the
- 6:15Old Testament. Okay. Mostly in the Old Testament, which. And I've learned
- 6:19when God repeats something over and over again,
- 6:23it's important. And it came to pass as my favorite
- 6:29Bible verse. Because sometimes I ask God, when's it going
- 6:33to pass? I want it to pass. I want it to pass.
- 6:37And sometimes he doesn't give us escape.
- 6:41Have you ever prayed? Get me out of this. If you get me out of
- 6:44this, I'll go to church every day. I'll say, Hail Mary's all the way.
- 6:47Bargaining. Yeah, you want to get
- 6:51out of it? And sometimes he says, no, baby, you're going to go through it.
- 6:55You're not going to get out of it. You're going to go through it.
- 6:59Because he has the best intentions
- 7:02for our life, better than what we have.
- 7:06And so he knows that certain things in working
- 7:11out, let me tell you, building muscles, you got to break down yourself
- 7:16first. I mean, you got to break it down and then you build
- 7:20a muscle. It just doesn't come by thinking, oh, I would like to have muscles.
- 7:24Okay. And it came to pass,
- 7:28is very, very important for me, because I used to say,
- 7:31nobody likes to change but a wet baby. Then I
- 7:35had two boys, and they didn't want to be changed.
- 7:40So even wet babies don't like the change.
- 7:43Yeah. And Deborah, you were saying you don't like
- 7:47change. You know, I really, I.
- 7:51I teach creativity, right? And so I should be
- 7:55the one instigating the change. And I'm really good at it with
- 7:59my students. And they always think, and, oh, you're so wonderful. And, you know,
- 8:03and I'm thinking, if only, you kn.
- 8:07Because they. They think I. I really live it out.
- 8:11And I do some of it. But,
- 8:15you know, I'm not. I'm not that particularly great at it.
- 8:19I have to punish. Punish myself. That's a,
- 8:23That's a, you know, an erotic thing
- 8:26to say. Yeah, it's a Freudian slip because I have to push myself out of
- 8:30my comfort zone. And I do view it like it is punishment
- 8:34because I tend to get really comfortable. But once I get out of my comfort
- 8:38zone, then I'm like, what. What am I waiting for?
- 8:42You know, why didn't I do this sooner?
- 8:47Do you want me to talk about my season or you want to continue with.
- 8:51Well, I can continue. Then we can go in and out.
- 8:54Okay. I remember everybody says, oh, you're so good
- 8:57lecturing. Let me share with you my
- 9:02first lecture. Let me share with you my first lecture. I went
- 9:06to graduate school and I didn't understand what stipends
- 9:11were about. And the stipend means we don't give you the
- 9:14tuition, but you gonna work for slave labor.
- 9:20And I go to the office and the secretary,
- 9:24I never. I always will remember this? Had this book on
- 9:28her desk, and it said Human Sexuality. And she
- 9:33said, these are your books. And I'm like, oh, it's so nice that your
- 9:37actor school buys your book. She goes, no,
- 9:41that's the class you're teaching at seven in the morning
- 9:44tomorrow. Oh. And I was like. I was just
- 9:48like, oh, oh,
- 9:52I never taught before. And so you have to understand,
- 9:57I looked like I was 17 in graduate school.
- 10:00So I looked like a TV bopper. And then this was an
- 10:04advanced class, so, you know, you could smell the fresh meat coming
- 10:08off of my body. This is an
- 10:12advanced class. And I remember at Arizona State, I was walking
- 10:16down the hallways. It was like a scary movie. And it was the Life Science
- 10:20building, and the lockers were breathing.
- 10:29And then there was, like, these windows up at top, and the
- 10:33dust. You know how the dust dances in the light. And the dust was coming
- 10:37down. I felt like God was going right on me.
- 10:41And I walked to the classroom, and a upper class person
- 10:48said he would set up a film projector for me. That's when you had the
- 10:52film projector. You had the threaded. And I thought he was being nice, but actually
- 10:57he was like, what do they call it when they
- 11:01flag you? I can't think of the word. They're pranking you.
- 11:05Yeah, he would prank me. He pranked me. And he
- 11:10said, okay. So I didn't have any time
- 11:13to prepare. And he said, okay, okay. So if you get stuck, just run the
- 11:18projector. And I'm like, okay. The class was hour
- 11:22and 40 minutes. And by 15
- 11:26minutes, I was done.
- 11:30That's exactly. I was done. And so I walked up
- 11:33to the projector, and he told me, just push the button. I pushed the button.
- 11:37You know what? It came up. You guys, excuse me. You got children in the
- 11:40room. Cover their ears. It came up. This is a
- 11:44penis.
- 11:51This is a penis. And my students said
- 11:55to me, years later, like, nothing fluffs your
- 11:59feathers. You don't get upset about anything. And I said,
- 12:03because I've been through it. I mean, after this is a penis,
- 12:07what else is there to say? What else is there to say?
- 12:12So it was.
- 12:15I wish the whole time it was over with. Matter of fact, my whole
- 12:18graduate school experience, I wished it was over with.
- 12:22And I remember when I went back to graduate school, I had to go with
- 12:25a girlfriend. And we held hands as we walked through the building. It was so
- 12:29traumatic for me. But of course,
- 12:33because I went through that stairwall,
- 12:37then nothing fluffed me.
- 12:40Nothing fluffed me. And people like, what do you mean?
- 12:43Well, one of my students brought her baby to
- 12:47class. This is at Cal Poly. And I have. I have,
- 12:51like. I have a silk shirt on. And her baby
- 12:55started crying. And I was
- 13:00nursing my son at home. Oh, no. So her baby started crying,
- 13:04and it started getting wet,
- 13:09thank God. And I was just.
- 13:12I'm like, well, anybody got any. Any paper towels? I flipped
- 13:17a paper towel in. And one guy goes, what is that doing?
- 13:21I said, ask your mother. Go home and ask your students.
- 13:25She was so upset. She was so embarrassed because the baby crying made
- 13:29me lactate, you know, so in music,
- 13:33we call that harmonic. Harmonic frequency,
- 13:36right? That's in music, right?
- 13:40Because one starts ringing and the other one responds.
- 13:44Right? So. And. But I really taught my students
- 13:47to, like, you know, hey, you have to laugh at yourself and you just move
- 13:52on. I mean. I mean, come on. There's big. I had a silk shirt
- 13:56on, so there were these big rings on my shirt because you know how
- 13:59silk is. It just stays. And I just went on and it
- 14:03was no big deal. And a couple of my students said, I really. You really
- 14:07taught me something because you didn't. You didn't fold
- 14:11in two. And I told her what happened to my. In my first day
- 14:15teaching. This is a penis. So, you know, hey, lactation doesn't matter
- 14:19after. This is a penis. Yeah. Amen to that.
- 14:25And the verse life, I found it was. It is
- 14:29a book in the. And the New Testament is
- 14:33ecclesiastics, if I could say that, right?
- 14:36And it's 3, 118 for every season
- 14:42and every time under heaven
- 14:46there is a place. And Ecclesiastes
- 14:50talked about how trying to run after the wind is
- 14:54useless, you know, and he substitute the wind for
- 14:58material things. That's what he's talking about. You know, it's useless
- 15:02trying to run after the wind. So what you're going to do, how are you
- 15:05going to catch it? You know, it's there, but you can't grab it. So it's
- 15:10like time. You can never save time. People are like, oh, I saved time.
- 15:13Really? How did you do that? Did you take yourself off the clock?
- 15:18There's no such thing as saving time. It's like if you don't sleep tonight,
- 15:23you're going to. You going to catch up tomorrow? No, I mean,
- 15:27it's. It's just. And it came to pass. And it came
- 15:30to pass. And Ecclesiastics talks about that as a book of wisdom. I think
- 15:35it was a. Solomon wrote it. I think Solomon wrote it. Yes. Okay.
- 15:39Yeah. So what is your experience, Deborah, in things
- 15:43coming to pass? Well, the reason I wanted
- 15:47you to start off is because mine is, you know, kind of heavy.
- 15:51And look, I don't want the listeners out there to
- 15:56think that my life is terrible. Okay? I just want to say that up front
- 15:59that, you know, even in adversity, I've had good things happen. I've really
- 16:03been blessed and life has really been good. But Ecclesiastes
- 16:08is, you know, funny you should bring it up, but it definitely
- 16:12talks about cycles and laughing and then there's a time to
- 16:16cry. And then there's nothing new under the sun. And. And to
- 16:21me now, it's kind of liberating because I realized,
- 16:26well, wait a minute, you know, life is not supposed to be perfect.
- 16:29And you know, Solomon, the wisest man knew this.
- 16:32So what I'm in right now
- 16:36and I've been in for a while and I'm just going to kind of take
- 16:39you through my life and I'm not going to go into detail on anything,
- 16:42but starting. And around 2007,
- 16:47my husband was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia. Now,
- 16:50if you don't know what it is, just look it up.
- 16:53You'll understand that it really takes away humanity and affect and
- 16:59it's real miserable for the caregiver too,
- 17:02because the person becomes homicidal and suicidal and very
- 17:07impulsive. So I lived that for seven years and
- 17:12I really thought that was sort of the end of it. And Jesus really did
- 17:15appear to me in a dream and protected
- 17:20me in that dream. And I knew that I wasn't supposed to leave,
- 17:26get out of it, try to avoid it. Not that I could have, but I
- 17:29had to settle in. You know, when God says, okay,
- 17:32I'm here and you're supposed to settle in.
- 17:35And that's when we became real close. Remember Deborah?
- 17:38That's when we became. Because Deborah came into my office and
- 17:43knew there was something up, something wrong. I really hadn't told anybody at Cal
- 17:47Poly because I just wanted to be treated normally and
- 17:51I didn't want to be told, well, you know, you need,
- 17:54you can't be here. Because I was the sole breadwinner then.
- 17:58Because he had spent every cent he made on
- 18:02I don't know where. I still don't know where the money went. Wow.
- 18:06So it was definitely a trying time.
- 18:09But then I thought, well, okay, I've been through my adversity,
- 18:13you know, it's all good now. And it was a wonderful transition
- 18:17for him. Great silver lining. Saw him in the afterlife and,
- 18:21you know, etc. I hope you
- 18:25were stimulated to think about your seasons.
- 18:29You need to tune in next time when we explore part two
- 18:33of how do you know when a season is over? You're going to hear the
- 18:38rest of Deborah's story and Dr. Vince will start
- 18:42in on his experience with seasons.
- 18:50Hopefully the preceding conversations inspired you to think
- 18:54deeper about your current beliefs. Tune in next time as we'll continue our our journey
- 18:59through your self contradictory thoughts. God bless everybody.