Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1170 - When Your Brilliant Schedule Implodes: The Reality Check

Transcript

#1170 - When Your Brilliant Schedule Implodes: The Reality Check · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Kylie, missus Happy Families has some bad news today. We're
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: going to find out what it is. And I'm in
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the bad books because I'm going to brighten things up
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: once we wrap things up today on the Happy Families podcast.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Real Parenting Solutions every day on Australia's most downloaded and
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: can I say today Real Parenting Podcast with me, Justin
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Coulson and my wife Kylie. All right, Kylie, here's the deal.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I'll do better tomorrow. It's where we have a look
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: at the week that was. We talk about what's going right,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: what's going wrong, and how we're going to be better
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: at parents tomorrow. You're sighing. You're looking at me like,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: do I really have to do today's podcast? You're cranky
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: that I'm going to share good stuff because you don't
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: really want to share anything today. What is going on
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: and how can we be better tomorrow based on what
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: you've got to share.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: I spent a good portion of the holidays rethink and
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: recreating the schedule that was going to make everything awesome.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: You redesigned our lives and we were so pumped to
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: start the year and I.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Did really well until school started. That was the schedule
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: day one, it all fell apart.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: I think we got through day one reasonably well and
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: day two well.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Day one went reasonably well because there was only one
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: child at school.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Now there is some news here. Our fifth daughter, the
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: second youngest, the one who is homeschooling with our youngest,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: she's decided to go back to school this year for
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: year ten. So that has added a layer of complication
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: because she's going elsewhere, traveling all over the place for
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: her schooling. It's a totally different situation. But the last
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: week or so school has gone back in Queensland week
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: and a half for us. What would you score it
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: out of ten? Like, how would you rate it? What's
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: your description?
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: I have to.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Really do I have to No, you don't, don't.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: It has just been shmuzzle. I think that Miss ten
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: is really struggling to come back after the big break
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: of the holidays. She's struggling to get back into that.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Routine, come back to homeschool.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: And we've had some really big meltdowns, meltdowns like we
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: haven't had for I can't I can't even remember the
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: last time we've had months yeah like this, So it's
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: been a real kind of feels like a bit of
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: a kick in the gut to me, it's a lot
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: who's been working really hard with her for so long now.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: And then, like you said, our fourteen year olds started
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: at a new school in a completely different format to
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: anything we've experienced before, and that's meant that those beautiful
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: quiet mornings that I used to enjoy last year when
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: I didn't have to leave the house have all been
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: turned on their heads.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: And of course, if you leave the house, that means
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: that our year five daughter, who's homeschooling, it means that
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: she doesn't get her day off to the start that
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: she needs to, which probably explains the meltdowns and everything
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: associated with that. And then we get phone calls from
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: kids in the middle of the day, adult kids as
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: well as kids at school saying.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Lois needed, I forgot the babysitting, forgot my documentation.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Need the baby sit the grand baby.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: And it's just been a bit of a.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Week kind of wake up call. You think I've got this,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: it's all on paper, I've thunk it through, it looks perfect,
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: and it hasn't been.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: The great news is today is Friday, and there's a
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: couple of days break and we get to start fresh.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: On Monday.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Fresh starts are good, right.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: They really are. And I guess the message today is
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: that sometimes no matter how well we think we've got
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: everything put together, sometimes it just doesn't work. There are
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: so many different emotions that we're dealing with, different people,
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: different kids, moving parts, and sometimes no matter how good
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: you think you've put it all together, sometimes it just
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: doesn't work. And it doesn't mean you've done something wrong.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: It just means that this was a hard week.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, life is hard. Kids are tricky. I'm still so
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: glad that we are the parents of six kids, like
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't have it any other way. After the break, well,
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I've got some better news about what's been going well
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: for me and how I'm going to do better tomorrow.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: That's coming up on the Happy Family podcast. I feel
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: like I'm sort of skyting, and I don't mean to.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: No, you're not skyuting. You're actually taking my goodness and
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: stealing it, is what you're doing.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: So we did talk about this before the pod, and
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: you said I want to talk about this thing, and
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I was like, no, no, No, that's mine, that's mine. I'm
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: sharing it so I'll do better tomorrow. Actually, our brand
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: new Happy.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Is that your wife is awesome. That's what your old tomorrow.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Is and is carrying way too big a load. I
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: can't wait. I'm writing my book. I'm right my book.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I'm about a quarter of the way through it now,
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: and it's being written at a wonderful pace. I've done
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: all the research, I've done all the preparation, I've done
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: all the structuring and all the planning, and now I'm
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: just writing it and I'm loving it. But I'm really
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: looking forward to it being done because that'll have been
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: like four books in five years or something.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: There's that saying that goes behind every good man is
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: an even better wife.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: A great woman.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well I think that behind every book
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: written is a stress and fractuously patient wife.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: So much anyway, this week we've relaunched the Happy Families
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: newsletter for a new year, and I wrote a great
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: piece that I was super excited about and I got
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: to talk about surfing and how that relates to parenting,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: which made me happy. But we've also got four new
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: sections in the newsletter, just a quick paragraph on each,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: a little tile in the newsletter. If you're not a subscriber,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: by the way, please subscribe Happy families dot com dot IU.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I'm reading, I'm watching, I'm listening, We're doing so I'm
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: reading is what I'm getting into reading right now. Sometimes
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: it's got to do with parenting. Other times it doesn't. Well,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I say sometimes this was the first one and over
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: the last month. Because I'm doing so much heavy lifting
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: in the office with the writing of the book, I'm
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: reading fiction, which I never ever do. But it's keeping
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: my head well, saying really, and I've been reading the
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Lonesome Dove series Lonesome Dove, My goodness, incredible, I'm watching.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I didn't write this one down. I linked to something
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: on Facebook. But the favorite thing that I've watched lately
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: is Wicked. Loved seeing that the stage play is better,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: but loved watching the movie with the kids. I'm listening.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I threw in that I listened to a podcast on
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: the Honestly podcast with Barry Weiss recently. It was about
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: the MAHA movement in the United States. Maham so MAGA
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: is make America great again, but MAHA is make America
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: healthy again. What goes on in America in terms of
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: the food industrial complex over there compared to Australia's is terrifying. Nevertheless,
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Australia has its challenges as well. That podcast it blew
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: my mind. There were some pretty wacky things said, but
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: there's also some amazing stuff. But honey, we're doing. My
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Older Better Tomorrow is the we're doing, and it was
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: all about you. For Christmas, You've given me an experience
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: per month where you and I get to spend time together,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: sometimes as simple as a picnic. But this month just gone.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: We went dancing dancing. We went dancing on the dance floor.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: You took me boorroom dancing. We've been married for twenty
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: seven years. Next month. I've always wanted to learn to
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: dance with you, and you and I, inspite of the
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: fact that I've ruptured my mcl in my left knee
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: by going on a park run with you, and I'm
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: in a brace and supposed to be limping around everywhere.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I took the brace off and you and I got
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: out the dance floor. We had an instructor teaching us
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: how to waltz. We did another dance as well, rumber
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: with my dodgy knee, and it was just the best.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: It was the best. So My Older Better Tomorrow is
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: number one. Read the newsletter. I'll make you fund me
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: happier and give you some inspo. But really better tomorrow
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: is spend time investing in your relationships. You and I
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: laughed our heads off. We had the best night, and
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: we got to We've got to spend that time together,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: learning a new skill and just enjoying being with one another.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: It makes you a better parent when you enjoy being
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: with your partner, the other adult responsible for you and
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: your children.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: I was telling one of my friends about your Christmas present,
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: and specifically about this month's activity. She said, I'm not jealous.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: I am envious. She said, I'm envious, she said because,
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: she said, I just don't feel like my husband and
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: I have any common interests. We don't like doing the
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: same things. And she said, we've been married for like
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: twenty years now, and she said, and I'm more aware
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: of it than ever. It's just how different we are.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: And she said, he just would never do that, like
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: on an art class, Like no way.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you've got that booked in for me for November.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: You've been threatening to get me there for years and
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: you've finally forced me.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Well, I had to do it wrapped up in a boat.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: That was the only way we were getting there. But
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: I just acknowledged to her that you and I are
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: about as different as it gets. We like completely opposite
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: things in everything from movies to books to what we
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: like to do. What we call fun. Let's say that.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and yeah, the way we holiday, I'm up for adventure,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: you and Lanta Beach.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because who's running around all day every day? Anyway,
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: that's beside the point. But I just acknowledged to her
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: that we are really, really different. But the one thing
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: that we have in common is we choose each other
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: every single day, and in doing that, we acknowledge that
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: we're going to do some things together that sometimes one
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: of us is not gonna love. But that's okay because
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: we're together doing it and that's where joy comes.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: I'll do better tomorrow. We hope that there's an inspo
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: there that helps you to have a great weekend with
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: your family. And if a talking pair of shapes, if
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: the bottom's fallen out.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Of it, remember there's always next week.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: There's always next week. Invest in your relationships, love one another.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Life is just better when you feel like there's love
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: at home. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Rouland.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: From Bridge Media. More information and more resources to make
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: your family happier are available at happy families dot com,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: dot a