Latest / Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano / Hit of Hope Instead of Dope

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Hit of Hope Instead of Dope · Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano

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This is Your Pain Game podcast where we talk about the game of living in
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and with chronic pain and trauma, getting to the heart of how to heal.
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I am your host, Lindsay Soprano. On the show, I plan
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on discussing with doctors, chronic pain patients, ballistic practitioners, loved ones,
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and anybody that is interested in having their voice heard in the chronic pain and
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trauma world that we live in. So I don't know about you, guys,
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but every single day of my life lately, I feel like I'm shouting
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out loud like I need a fricking vacation. You know, far too many
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times to count, it feels like lately, And even when my sweetie and
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I do go on a vacation, it's like go, go, go,
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go, go the entire time for almost three weeks, no downtime whatsoever.
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So we talked about wanting to go on vacations. We talk about wanting to
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escape rights. I mean, we all have our days, our weeks,
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even months, who knows, maybe even years of wanting to escape our personal
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realities. And one of the things that my question is in regards to that
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is why is life a place that we feel like we need to escape from
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it as much as we do, and sometimes I'm not even sure what my
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reality is. On some days, I feel so topsy turvy all the time
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with my bod and the silly day to day adulting shit that we have to
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do, my sweetie, running my marketing agency, doing the show, our
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dogs, my health, his health, you know, everything at all just
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snowballs. And I'm even having children never ending, and I'm exhausted, and
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I'm tired of being exhausted. I'm tired of talking about being exhausted. And
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I do know that I need to take a break here and there, I
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need to be better about self care, and I do need that escape,
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but it just makes me question why I so badly want it, And I
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think that part of it is that I'm hungry to be a part of something
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that's a little bit bigger than just me, and I'm frustrated with being smaller
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than I thought I would be at this point in my life. I had
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inticipated being much different than I am today on stage and being an opera singer
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and traveling around the world and doing these wonderful things, and here I am
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now stuck half of my life in a wheelchair. Doing a podcast, and
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I love this show more than anything, but I'm in this place right now
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where I kind of feel like I need a little bit of a life escape.
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I need a little bit of run time, runaway time, and I'm
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a little scared about that because I know when I get into those places,
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I tend to make some pretty willy nilly decisions. And I want to be
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something larger than I am. I want to contribute more to the people that
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come into my life and the people that are on this earth. Is one
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of the reasons I started this show. That's why I'm working on a book,
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It's why I'm working on ted Talks, That's why I'm working on eliminating
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more unhealthy people and structures from my life and working on removing obstacles and addictions.
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And one of mine is that I am such a control freak in OCD
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also taming the alcohol beast that is in my life because I know that I
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use it to cope with pain and pass trauma, and addiction is obviously one
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of the many ways that we escape massively, and we all need to be
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honest with ourselves about addiction, because addiction isn't just about drugs and alcohol,
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it's about food, it's money and gambling, it's religion, it's exercise,
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it's sex and porn and more. We all have something. So if you
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start pointing the finger at other people, you might want to start pointing it
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towards yourself and take a little bit of a beat and figure out where some
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of that escapism might be coming from and these addictions that we have in our
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lives, and maybe assess a little bit more as to where they're coming from.
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And I know, for me, my OCD and alcohol addiction has come
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from childhood trauma and it eked its twisted way into the fabric of my being,
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of who I was and who I am, and at the rate I'm
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going it will continue to be the who I'm going to be in the future.
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Right. And so that escape and that freedom can come in the form
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of addiction, right. And I understand addiction from an anxiety and coping mechanism
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and from a trauma perspective, and so does my guests today. So,
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without further ado, and I know there's a little lengthy opener here today,
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I just kind of started going on a tangent about addiction. But anyways,
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I'd like to introduce you to my guest today, Dylan lend Good. Hey
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Dylan, how are you. I'm doing well, Lindsay, thank you for
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asking. It's good to be here. It's good to see you again.
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Um. Dylan is a tech speaker, an addiction recovery advocate who works with
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individuals and organizations to increase engagement in the addiction recovery process. So I'm going
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to roll out the red carpet for yet and I'd like to start talking with
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you about how you got started with your addiction and where you are today,
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and we'll kind of fill in everything in between, because you've got a pretty
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incredible story. Thank you. Yeah, So, how do I get started
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with my addiction? That's a that's a great yeah, I know, and
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it's loaded. Yeah, there's you know, because there's it's not just one
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thing really that led to my addiction, you know, it was kind of
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a I think it called a combination of different things. So I grew up
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and was a scholar athlete in high school, and I was convinced that I
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would probably never pick up drugs and min never drink. And the reason for
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that was because I saw what alcohol did to my grandfather a little bit and
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drugs with some of my friends, and I just in the idea that I
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would be out of control. I didn't like that, you know, that
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the substance would make me out of control. The problem was that I had
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this this deep inability to feel okay my on skin, and this deep inability
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to deal with life, especially going into college and as responsibilities increase, and
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you know, growing up, I just had this this really deep inability to
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to deal and to feel okay. And so in college when I had my
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first drink, is almost like everything that I had been trying to achieve through
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good grades and through sports and alcohol actually gave me that. You know.
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I thought that if I got the good grades and I was captain the wrestling
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team or state champion wrestle or whatever, if I could achieve those things,
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which I did, some which I didn't, but regardless, I thought,
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if I could just do that, I would be good enough, you know.
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And that never worked. Yet when I picked up a drink for the
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first time, I felt good good enough, you know, my mind quieted
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down, my my, you know, the ability to kind of handle life.
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It worked for a little bit, to be fair, really did.
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It worked for a little bit, but it's it's a maladactive cope mechanism.
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It doesn't it doesn't stay that way. Rights, we need more to achieve
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the same effect, and then eventually it doesn't work at all. But now
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I'm addicted, so you know, it just spirals downhill from there. But
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that's kind of how it started, you know. It's like I wasn't looking
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to feel okay necessarily through alcohol. I just happened to pick up a drink
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and then realize that that's what it did for me. Yeah, it was
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your red bull. It gave you wings, yeah, exactly exact. Yeah.
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Yeah. Well, and I think for me and some people would think,
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how is it possible that Lindsay doesn't have good self esteem? She's always
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on top of things. She can always walk into the room and she's smiling,
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and she's this, and she's that. Oh my gosh, dude,
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I have self esteem issues and I always have. And for me, alcohol
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was one of those places that I could turn to that gave me more courage.
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As we all know, it does give you courage to say things that
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you would never really say, to do things that you probably would not do,
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and looking back at yourself and going whoa, that was me doing those
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things under the guise of vodka or whatever the concoction was of the evening that
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I was drinking back from the day. But so what happened for you?
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So you got into college and you started getting into the drinking drug scene.
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So what happened after that? I went to University of Connecticut for a year,
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which is where I had my first drink and started drinking. And even
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even in hindsight, I could see there was a problem because I was starting
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to drink alone and you know stuff like that. I didn't pick up any
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drugs until after college, so it just but spiral from there. And there
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was some trauma thrown in there too. So when I left University of Connecticut
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after a year, I moved back home and decided to pursue acting and and
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moving back home, I had an incident where I was assaulted by a gang
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and that, you know, was a very traumatic thing for me, and
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I just decided, like, screw it, I'm going to start doing drugs,
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you know. So I started smoking weed and taking acid and doing you
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know, all types of drugs, and it kind of spiraled from there.
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So I would get I got rested and had to do community service, and
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a community service I learned about harder drugs, and it just, you know,
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over the course of a few years, it went from you know,
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me having a drink at University of Connecticut to me now using crack cocaine and
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getting rested all the time and losing jobs and ending up almost homeless. I
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was going to ask about that about the homelessness if that ever came into play,
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because I've got a guess that's coming up as well. Who was homeless
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in a story is like freaking sane. Yeah, so I was almost not
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necessarily living on the street, but there's a period of time where I didn't.
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I was just staying on a couch here or there, you know.
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Yeah, So it was that that type of thing, and I lost a
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pretty much every job I had I lost to due to my drinking or drug
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use. Yeah, And from that, I know, for me, I
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struggled with promiscuity issues, especially in college because of the massive amount of drinking
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that I was doing. Was just part of that being in the sorority,
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you know, just be skanky and slutty and drunk. Is that just like
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those were part of our Greek letters, right, And so how did you
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Did you have any issues in relation to porn and less and sexuality and promiscuity,
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Some of that stuff come into play in relation to your drinking and drug
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use, for sure. You know, I had grown up thinking that I
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grew up idolizing guys who at that I don't know if they use this term
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anymore. At that time period of time, they call the players. All
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right, so you're aging us, darling, Yeah, so players, you
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know, the guy who would sleep around a lot. Basically now somebody idolized.
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But even then I didn't really idolize that way I idolized was what I
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thought it meant, you know. So what I thought it meant was you
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know, worth, you know, confidence, fun, like all these things
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that I that I projected onto this idea of sleeping around, you know,
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because I would see guys that were like that, and they looked like they
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were having fun, They looked like they were confident, they looked like they
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were all the things that I really wanted for myself. But it wasn't so
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much that I wanted to sleep around. It was that I wanted these things.
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I thought it would give me, right just like you know, I
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thought alcohol was giving me confidence, I thought, but it was really taking
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it away. And it was a similar thing with this. So I did
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struggle with that because when I did drink, I was able to be confident
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at least have the small sense of confidence. And through that, you know,
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I did sleep around and then you know, and you know, some
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issues around masturbation pornography did come up, but those actually came up in recovery
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from addiction. So I've had a few challenges. Interesting, yeah, in
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sobriety where food and sex became I had an unhealthy relationship to those in sobriety
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and the reason why I, you know, I had to take a look
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at them was because it was starting to leave me closer to relapse to drugs
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and alcohol. Because our brain's always looking for a way out, right,
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especially we deal with trauma if we have a history of trauma, early trauma,
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especially in our brain is always looking for a way to kind of deal
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with that, you know, find a quick fix. And for me,
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it's it's a constant, I don't want to say battle, but it's a
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constant growing process to train myself to look for growth and healing rather than for
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the instant dope, mean head or the instant pain killer or whatever. Yeah,
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And I mean we all say it, like at the end of our
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day, we're like, oh God, I need a drink, you know.
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I mean it is just so it's part of our culture. Is the
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is the drinking culture. I mean, it's in every freaking advertisement that you
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you thumb through every weekend is go out with the girls and go out for
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bottomless mimosas, which of course is one of my favorite things to do.
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But what we do is, and I'm in marketing, we market the the
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awesomeness of being drunk. We market that to our children and to ourselves as
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adults, and we're we wonder why that is our first go to coping mechanism.
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And then the second thing is sex because we're all hopped up and sexy
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and we're drinking and our inhibitions are down, and next thing we know,
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we're banging some broad in the in the bathroom of the bar. I can
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say that because I've done it. And so you know, when you when
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you end up in these shady situations that are super unsafe, especially for women.
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And I love how you talked about the fact that you know, guys
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are the ones that look super cool, and they look like they have their
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act together and they've got women on the other hand, or girls in art.
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When we're in high school and in college, we're skanks. We don't
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look like we're wonderful, we don't look like we've got it all together.
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We're slutty, even though we're the same person as the dude. If not
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less bad, then the guy would be right. So it's just it's such
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an interesting thing how we've got these different roles that we play even though we're
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doing the same exact behavior and we're participating in the same activities, but we're
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looked at totally different, and that then spirals you down, Especially from my
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perspective. I can only speak for myself, it spiraled me down into more
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self esteem issues because then it was just it was compounding on top of another
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of them's like, well, okay, that was last night. I'm over
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at that walk of shame right. Unfortunately, sounds like we both have done
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it, the walk of shame, and it is a shameful experience, and
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you do shame yourself and then you beat yourself up about and then what do
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we do? We just do it again, because oh, we'll fix it.
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The next time around, and that slippery slope, that cycle continues.
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And so when it comes to addiction, the pain that comes from it,
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because it's a very lonely place to be in addiction, no matter what addiction
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you're in. People. There was a gal that I talked to who like
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a binge eater, just absolutely could not stop eating food and the shame and
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the guilt that she experienced from that. You mentioned that you talked about having
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a bad relationship with food as well as porn. Can you talk a little
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bit about that in relation to food in regards to your care, because you're
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talking about your sobriety and how the food and the porn part or the food
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porn sex part kind of came in your sobriety. It's so interesting because you
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were, oh, great, I've got that part taking care, but now
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I've got a glom onto something else. Can you talk a little bit about
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that totally? Yeah, I mean that's just the way our brain. My
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brain is like, you know, looking for the looking for the hit,
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you know, looking for the fix. And so when I early in sobriety,
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you know, sugar became a drug drug and it got so bad that
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it was like the part of my brain that I wanted alcohol kind of was
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being lit up again. So when I would binge on sugar, I would
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just get these cravings to drink. You know, I really want to drink.
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And it was like okay, because I wasn't having a little sugar,
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I was binge eating, I was gaining a lot. I was technically obese
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at that and so it was, you know, creating a brain chemistry where
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it was like leading back to relapse if I didn't address it. And so
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I now I really had to dress it. And for me, addressing it
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me it means staying away from sugar and flour. Like I don't do either
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one of those. So we got to keep you away from cakes and cookies,
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honey, Is that what we're saying. Well, it's true because like
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when I do like I'll do like, oh I'm just not going to drink
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for a couple of months or whatever, I immediately am. And I'm not
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a sugar person, like a cookie sweet person at all. I'm not really
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salty or sweet, but that doesn't really matter. But anyway, when it
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comes to sweets, like like all right, you know, if we're going
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out too, I have a thing with my girlfriends and my well of everybody
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that goes out to dinner lunch with me. I'm always celebrating somebody's birthday,
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even if it's not their birthday, because I believe that we all deserve free
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desserts in life, even if it's not our birthday. So I always do
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this thing, and I've done it since I was in high school. But
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I'm like, I can kind of like have one little bite and I'm good,
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But man, if I don't have a glass of wine or something,
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I'll eat that entire piece of cake. So okay, So how long ago
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did you sober up? Two thousand and four? Two thousand and four.
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Wow, so you're like almost up the twenty year mark. That's amazing.
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Yeah, and a pretty easy path for you for twenty years. Ah yeah,
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yeah I wish. Yeah. So what have you been doing to a
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stay sober? Did you have any relapses during that? During this almost twenty
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years span of time, did you did you almost slip up? Or did
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you have any Oh? I mean there were times there were times those views
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and things that I was like, do I change my sobriety day, you
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know, relationship to certain things. But but yeah, it was definitely not
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a straight shot upward, you know, is it very much? You know,
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two steps forward, one step back. And it's been your periods of
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time where it's been very fulfilling and very easy. There are other times when
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it's been extremely hard, you know, and it's been everything that a good
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experience in life. I feel like that's where recovery really is. It's just
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being able to experience life and it's fullest on both the negative and the positive
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side, or the painful or joyful side, and not having to pick up
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as a result. So when it comes to your sobriety specifically, how did
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you get sober? Did you just like cold turkey one day and you went
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to an AA meeting or how did you start on that path? And then
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what have you found to be really good ways to keep moving through the recovery
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process. Did you do any medication assisted treatment? Did you do and did
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you go in the house anywhere for like a thirty day clamp? Can you
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give us a little bit of that journey of how you got started on that
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and the components of a good foundation for recovery. Yeah, for sure.
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So for me it was all step meetings and I go to a few different
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fellowships and originally, so originally I had, I had gone to twelve Step
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meetings before, but I wasn't really ready to change yet. So you know,
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I was court ordered to get help. Oh do you tell that story?
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Yeah? So, so I got arrested numerous times and finally got to
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the point where I used up all my kind of get out of jail free
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cards and then they're like, look, you've got to get help order to
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jail. So I'm I finally get help, but even then I still wasn't
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ready. So I go to the IOP that they suggested, and I'd be
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high, or I go to a twelve Step meeting, I'd be drunk.
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And so eventually, you know, it was like I ended up getting arrested
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again, ended up going to Hart for Correctional in Connecticut, And at that
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point, for whatever reason, the idea of losing my freedom really did something
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psychologically to me. So I had overdosed. I had, you know,
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I had attempted suicide, like I had pretty dark times prior to that moment,
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but I still wasn't willing to change really, and for whatever reason,
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going to Harvard Correctional, the loss of freedom, like I said did something
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psychologically where I wanted to actually change. So I went to rehab for the
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second time, and that's when I got sober. So going to rehab helps.
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It was a huge piece of it for me. And then along with
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rehab, they would bring us out this twelve Step meetings and I would go
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to those meetings and I got a sponsor and started working with twelve Steps.
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And at the rehab, I was learning things like yoga and meditation, which
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I was incorporating on a regular basis, so kind of both of those were
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really important, you know, the support group meetings and also this spiritual lifestyle
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of yoga and meditation and starting to incorporate that into my life. Like both
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of those were a good, very very good foundation to start with. Yeah,
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and I think that, you know, I mean, everybody's got their
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own journey when it comes to addiction. My husband and I've spoken about him
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multiple times on the show, but he was an raging, alcoholic, abusive
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man and had been through mass of childhood trauma when he was younger, which
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we've came out later and still never really dealt with it. But in his
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regard, like in a healthy way in from my perspective, he just stopped
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one day just like that was it, went to one meeting, that was
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it. And from my understanding, he's still sober. But I do know
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that he's actually kind of like a meaner person than he was when he was
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drunk. Like I'm like, I kind of want the drunk I back.
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So one of the things that I know is is something that I've always thought
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about in my brain when I think about, oh, I'm never going to
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have a drink again, or you know whatever. I don't do drugs or
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anything like that. I mean, I do cannabis and THC for my pain
19:37
in the evening, but I do love my red wine. But when it
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comes to like what I'm not going to do with everybody else's drinking, Like
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it's not fun anymore if you're not drinking, or it's not fun if you're
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not doing drugs. It's not fun with your friends who you've got friends that
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are able to have a glass of wine instead of two bottles of wine.
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What do we say to people that are a little bit scared about not being
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able to have fun if they end up so bring up because I know that
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that is actually one, at least from my perspective, that is a scary
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thought to not have fun anymore, because we've attributed fun with partying and going
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out and all earlier, Like what I was saying about the marketing, like
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everything's all about New Year's Eve parties and alcohol and you know, all of
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that. So it's it's possible to have fun without drugs and alcohol important,
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right, right, right, right, Yeah, it is. And most
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people when they come to the point of debating whether or not to stop,
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it's because it hasn't been fun for a while, and so usually, you
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know, usually they're coming with some type of situation where it's like this isn't
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doing what it used to do. Yeah, I don't look really pretty in
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this outfit anymore, especially if my panties down on my ankles and in a
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gross bar. Yeah. Yeah, So I know that you're you've done ted
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talking. You're you do a lot of speaking engagements as well. Can we
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talk about what you're doing to help others now with your mind, body spirit
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program, what you're doing to help others in their journey towards recovery, and
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how that's assisting you to stay sober for yourself, because I assume that's pretty
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gratifying for you to help others. I know for me doing this show and
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of itself is gratifying to hopefully help other people with each episode that we do
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here. Yeah, for sure, for sure. So I currently work with
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a company consulting company, and we help individuals and families usually are struggling some
21:22
type of mental health or substance use challenge, and so they'll come to us
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and looking for support and how to how to get help for usually a loved
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one. And what I do is help out using some of the some of
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the practices that I learned early on yo get meditation, yoga, and mindflemens.
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You know. It's where I work with the clients on helping it,
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helping them to feel better and get through you know, the initial stages of
21:45
change or detox, and then helping them to rewire their brains so that they
21:48
can live a new, better life. And sometimes we'll also do interventions.
21:55
So if individuals come and they don't they don't want help, in a loving
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and caring way, we look at how can we how can we use the
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you know, the social capital of the family or the social capital of their
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their friends and loved ones to help this person see to see the potential in
22:10
getting help, because some people they don't necessarily they want to change, but
22:15
they don't necessarily think it's possible. They don't see a way out, so
22:18
they just kind of resigned to this downward spiral of addiction. Yeah, sometimes
22:22
all they need is that kind of hit of hope rather than hit of dope.
22:26
Right, Oh, you did not be able to see, you know,
22:33
to be able to see some potential there hit of hope instead of dope.
22:37
Yeah, I love it. It's actually very well said. So and
22:41
I assume that you know, there are a lot of people that, like,
22:44
for me, for example, like if I was in this in this
22:45
state where I needed to like get sobered up like big time. I know
22:48
that I have friends and family around me that are very supportive of anything that
22:52
would happen to me in my life, good, bad, or ugly.
22:55
But I know that there aren't not everybody has that support structure. And it
23:00
sounds like you kind of step in and help with that if other people don't
23:04
have that support or at least help to bring the people that could be supportive
23:08
for people to get through to get sober, to help guide them in the
23:12
right steps. Am I clear on that with what Yeah okay, good,
23:15
yeah, good, Yeah, that's really neat because I mean that's got to
23:18
be gratifying for you too, and it helps you stay sober. Yeah,
23:22
it does, it does. It's also so there's two different pieces to that.
23:23
One is that that's what I do professionally. That's why I work with
23:27
a company, Feinberg Consulting, and we do this professionally, and it's very
23:32
much coming from a place of being of service. You know, it's not
23:34
just about you know, making money. That being said, it's a business
23:37
and so it is what I do, you know, what I get paid
23:41
to do. And the other side of the coin is is my own recovery
23:45
and working through twelve step meetings and a twelve step program. And so the
23:48
beauty of that is you don't need money to go to a meeting, you
23:52
don't need money to get a sponsor like That's one of the most beautiful things
23:56
about a twelve step way of going about recovery is that you really don't need
24:00
anything except willingness to change. And if you have that, you can go
24:04
pretty much every day, depending where you're physically okay, you can go and
24:07
get support every single day, you know, without having to spend a time.
24:11
Are you still going to meetings? Oh? Yeah, yeah, I
24:15
still go to meetings, yeah, like every day just about actually really wow,
24:21
almost twenty years. Yeah, and it's you know, they go waxes
24:23
and wait. So recently I've being been increasing it because I realized it's something
24:29
you needed to do just from your own mental health. But yeah, I
24:33
still go to meetings. Good for you, because I know that there are
24:37
the diehards AA people that are like I've been here for forty years, you
24:40
know, and they don't leave and they're going to die in an AA meeting.
24:44
And then there are some that like get in there, they get their
24:45
help and then they're actually just rock stars and they find it their own way
24:48
of healing. Because I know, and I've been to AA meetings before,
24:52
and I've been to alan On meetings as well, and I did not find
24:56
them to be very helpful for me, only because my personality type bommed onto
25:00
everybody that was like me and we ended up just going out and hanging out
25:04
after meetings, and then that would end up not being something that was a
25:07
cont to do. And so I know that there are there, you know,
25:11
people that have gone to like, oh I went to a meeting,
25:14
it wasn't for me. I mean I would encourage you to go to find
25:18
another meeting or find another meeting. Would you agree with that? Because every
25:22
every meeting is not for everybody, Like we all are a little different.
25:26
We find our little clicks, we find our groups. We find who touches
25:29
our hearts, who pulls on our heart strings, who's there that can help
25:33
support? And also I have a question in regards to getting a sponsor when
25:37
you get into AA, how do you actually glom on and find a sponsor
25:44
within the AA program? How do you do that? From your perspective,
25:47
Like the best way, yes, with any with any twelve step fellowship,
25:49
it's you know, you want to find somebody, in my opinion, who's
25:53
as what you want, all right, It's like they have a certain way
25:56
of going about life or a way of going about expressing themselves. There's something
26:00
about them that you relate to that you really would aspire to, or maybe
26:06
they share the same type of life struggles and challenges of addiction that you share.
26:10
You know, there's got to be some type of commonality there and something
26:12
to aspire to. And so from that standpoint, I think it's good to
26:17
reach out and just start to get to know somebody and see if it could
26:19
be a good fit. And it's not gonna be a good fit for everybody,
26:22
But just like the meetings, you know, can't necessarily judge by one
26:25
meeting, just like you right judge by one person. You know, there's
26:29
so many different people and sponsors available in different fellowships. You want to give
26:33
it at some time to really discern what could be a good fit and whether
26:37
or not is yeah, and I think time is a good Give yourself some
26:41
grace and give yourself be patient with yourself because with anything that you want to
26:45
change, whether it's weight loss, whether it's getting through childhood trauma, whether
26:48
it's putting on weight, which is what I'm trying to do. And be
26:52
patient with our bods and our minds and our spirits and our souls, because
26:56
we're not going to nothing's going to turn around on a dime in one day.
27:00
Guys like I've have forty five years of stuff I've got to deal with
27:03
here tomorrow. It's not going to all of a sudden be perfect wins and
27:08
it might not ever be game right. It's the paying game, sure is.
27:14
And trauma is so painful, and the things that you've been through,
27:17
and I know we didn't talk about a lot of them, and I know
27:18
some of them we didn't want to cover, but I think that well for
27:22
starters, congratulations on being almost twenty years sober. I mean, that's pretty
27:25
awesome because this guy is not some old rackety dude over here either. How
27:29
old are yet? Forty four? That's sorry, we're the same age.
27:33
So yeah, so twenty years. I mean for somebody to get sober when
27:36
you're twenty four or twenty five years old, that's pretty remarkable because in your
27:40
middle of your twenties, you're not thinking about sobriety. You're thinking about partying
27:44
and going out and having fun and meeting a spouse and whatever. And so
27:48
I give you massive kudos for doing that, especially in the middle of your
27:51
twenties, because that's that's tough in and of itself. You got it.
27:53
Yeah, And the willingness to change, like you said, I think,
27:56
is a huge component too. Like for me, my thing, I created
28:00
this cute little disordered eating situation with my CRPS and so now I'm dealing with
28:04
food issues and I didn't know that I was going to, but I am
28:07
trying to be in this place. It's kind of how I started the beginning
28:11
of this episode, where I felt like I was supposed to be something larger.
28:15
I'm supposed to be bigger than I am. I'm always going to be
28:18
this wow, big personality type. But I feel like I don't want to
28:22
be just a whisper. I want to be a storm. And I think
28:26
that you are so encouraging in the willingness to change, because that is the
28:30
number one thing. If you're not willing, then nothing's going to change.
28:33
I mean, hello, it sounds simple, yeah, easy civil, but
28:38
not easy. Yeah. I'm really proud of you, and thank you so
28:42
much for spending the time that you have with us today, and I look
28:45
forward to following you for the next twenty years to see what crazy shnanigans you
28:48
get into. That sounds good. Thanks for bearing me off, no problem,
28:53
Thank you so much. You are exclusively invited to share this willingness to
28:57
change VIP journey together. Let's get to the heart of how to keel with
29:03
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little VIPs. Catch you on the other side.