Latest / Coffee and Bible Time Podcast / Finding Strength in God, Not Ourselves | Becky Beresford

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Finding Strength in God, Not Ourselves | Becky Beresford · Coffee and Bible Time Podcast

• 1:01
  Ellen Krause: At the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
• 1:03
  Ellen Krause: Our goal is to help you delight in God's Word and thrive in Christian living.
• 1:07
  Ellen Krause: Each week we talk to subject matter experts who broaden your biblical understanding, encourage you in hard times and provide life-building tips to enhance your Christian walk.
• 1:18
  Ellen Krause: We are so glad you have joined us.
• 1:21
  Ellen Krause: Welcome back to the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
• 1:26
  Ellen Krause: I'm Ellen, your host, and today we are going to be talking about our culture and how it has fed women lies about empowerment, pushing them to rely solely on themselves.
• 1:43
  Ellen Krause: But what happens when that self-reliance becomes exhausting or even debilitating?
• 1:50
  Ellen Krause: Well, in this episode, B ecky Beresford, author of the book, S he Believed HE Could, S o S he Did: Trading Culture's Lies for Christ-Centered Empowerment.
• 2:02
  Ellen Krause: She is going to share her journey from embracing societal norms to finding true empowerment in Jesus.
• 2:11
  Ellen Krause: We must shift our focus from self-dependence to God-dependence, and Becky is going to guide us through biblical truths that are going to dismantle these common misconceptions that have been perpetuated by society.
• 2:28
  Ellen Krause: So to achieve this, we are going to learn how to rely on the Holy Spirit.
• 2:34
  Ellen Krause: We are going to battle cultural lies and live boldly for Jesus.
• 2:39
  Ellen Krause: And if we don't address this problem of self-dependence, we risk the cycle of constantly striving but never finding true fulfillment.
• 2:51
  Ellen Krause: We want to find strength and reassurance in Christ, lifting the burden of our being our own saviors, which we know we cannot be.
• 3:11
  Ellen Krause: Becky Beresford, lives in North Carolina and is happily outnumbered by her husband and three wonderful boys.
• 3:15
  Ellen Krause: She is an author, speaker and coach with a master's certificate in spiritual formation and discipleship from Moody Theological Seminary.
• 3:25
  Ellen Krause: Becky loves encouraging God's daughters Christ-centered embrace empowerment through the truth found in the gospel.
• 3:34
  Ellen Krause: Please welcome Becky.
• 3:38
  Becky Beresford: Hi, I'm so glad to be here.
• 3:39
  Becky Beresford: Thank you for having me.
• 3:53
  Ellen Krause: It's such a joy to have you here, B ecky, and this topic I know is going to resonate with everyone that's listening, because what we're talking about here are societal norms, right Things that even you yourself believed, and I thought we could just start with you telling us a little bit about how you tried so hard to believe in yourself, but you still felt like a failure because you were believing these cultural norms.
• 4:24
  Becky Beresford: Yeah, I love sharing this story, but of course, I love sharing it now, when I was in the midst of it, in the fire.
• 4:33
  Becky Beresford: It's not as fun to say, oh, I'm so glad I'm here, but the Lord just takes us through these purifying seasons and opens our eyes, and I'm really grateful for how he's basically set me free from trying to be the savior of my own story and the savior of my loved one's stories.
• 4:52
  Becky Beresford: So back in about 2015-ish, G od called me to be a writer.
• 4:59
  Becky Beresford: A t that time I didn't really know what I was doing, writing wise but I was like, okay, L ord, I'm just gonna step out there.
• 5:07
  Becky Beresford: And he gave me an idea for a book and I started pursuing publishing for three years and I just got rejection after rejection, no after no for this certain book idea which isn't this one, by the way and so it was rejection after rejection and they literally were telling me this is how you're not measuring up, this is how you're not good enough, you don't have a big enough platform, you don't have this.
• 5:33
  Becky Beresford: And so it was really disheartening and discouraging for me, because I felt like the Lord called me to write and I was trying to step into that calling, but at the same time, I was really striving to do all the things, to be everything that the publishers were telling me I needed to be, but I felt like a failure and so there was a lot of shame that started to enter.
• 5:56
  Becky Beresford: Just the professional life.
• 5:58
  Becky Beresford: Now the professional life, now my personal life, was more of a hot mess.
• 6:06
  Becky Beresford: So we go to that side, and my husband and I were going through a particularly hard, dark season in our marriage where I just didn't know how we were going to make it through.
• 6:18
  Becky Beresford: It's one of those okay, lord, you're going to have to part the seas, you're going to have to be the miracle maker.
• 6:25
  Becky Beresford: I don't know how we're going to be restored here.
• 6:29
  Becky Beresford: Like it just seems almost, almost hopeless.
• 6:32
  Becky Beresford: You say you're the God of hope, but it's like it's almost hopeless.
• 6:36
  Becky Beresford: I'm I'm hanging on by a thread and so spoiler alert, you know, in 2019, the Lord did do a really big miracle in our marriage.
• 6:46
  Becky Beresford: He actually gave me the word miracle for our well as the word of the year, and so I was like I'm applying that to my marriage, you know, and so I prayed for a miracle.
• 6:55
  Becky Beresford: I prayed for a miracle, and in December, I kind of say it was last minute.
• 7:00
  Becky Beresford: I thought he was a last minute God, but that's never.
• 7:02
  Becky Beresford: He's never last minute, he's always on time.
• 7:06
  Becky Beresford: And so he really did this big healing in my husband's heart.
• 7:10
  Becky Beresford: That, basically, was a catalyst for us healing as a couple and as a family, and we're still on that journey.
• 7:18
  Becky Beresford: But it was in 2015 when he called me to be a writer.
• 7:23
  Becky Beresford: It was hard and I felt constantly like I could never be a good enough wife.
• 7:28
  Becky Beresford: I could not as a fixer, as a helper, like I always try to like oh, I see someone in need, how can I fix the situation, what can I do to help?
• 7:37
  Becky Beresford: And so that's what I was always trying to do with my husband, but also I was going through a lot of stuff too.
• 7:43
  Becky Beresford: So I don't want it to seem like it was just him, but there's two, two in a marriage, and you know I had things I had to heal from as well, but I just felt like I was never um, I was always missing the mark, and Shane just came in there.
• 7:59
  Becky Beresford: In the midst of that as well, I became a mom and in motherhood, you know, I felt like such a failure in so many areas.
• 8:09
  Becky Beresford: But in particular.
• 8:10
  Becky Beresford: We're a special needs family.
• 8:12
  Becky Beresford: So our oldest son is autistic and I felt like I could not do the balance, I could not do the dynamic of helping our oldest son, who needs more attention, he needs more time, without making the other or other sons jealous, hurting their feelings, and I'm just like I can't get this right.
• 8:32
  Becky Beresford: So I didn't feel like I could help all three of them thrive equally and I just felt like I was missing the mark and I was a failure as a mom.
• 8:40
  Becky Beresford: And then we had chronic illness going on in our family and financial strain with therapies and it was just like I said, hot mess, we're in the fire.
• 8:50
  Becky Beresford: And so in the midst of this, and then feeling like I'm a failure as a writer, I'm like God what am I going to do?
• 8:57
  Becky Beresford: My husband got me a sign and this is important from a Christian bookstore that said she believed she could.
• 9:05
  Becky Beresford: So she did.
• 9:06
  Becky Beresford: And you know these phrases that seem nice, they're well-intentioned, they're out in society, they're trying to empower women, but they're empowering them to look inside.
• 9:17
  Becky Beresford: They're empowering them to believe in themselves, them to look inside.
• 9:22
  Becky Beresford: They're empowering them to believe in themselves, to try to find the strength, the sufficiency, whatever you need to get it done.
• 9:26
  Becky Beresford: It's within you.
• 9:27
  Becky Beresford: And so those lies are just everywhere, even in our not just the culture, but it's infiltrated into the churches, it's infiltrated into our Christian bookstores, you know so, and they're sneaky.
• 9:40
  Becky Beresford: They're sneaky lies that the enemy puts in there.
• 9:42
  Becky Beresford: And so, anyway, he got me this sign that said she believes she could.
• 9:47
  Becky Beresford: So she did, and I put it on my writing desk.
• 9:50
  Becky Beresford: Be like, okay, I'm going to not give up, G od, I'm going to believe in myself, I'm going to believe in you.
• 9:55
  Becky Beresford: And you can just almost hear the tension there, how I was actually striving and trying to do everything in my own strength and God was my backup plan.
• 10:06
  Becky Beresford: So it's kind of like, all right, G od, I will come to you when I need help, when in reality it's supposed to be the reverse, where we rely on God for the strength and sufficiency and he invites us into what he calls us to do.
• 10:21
  Becky Beresford: He's not our backup plan, he is the plan.
• 10:30
  Becky Beresford: And so I felt that tension and I was staring at that sign and I was like, wait a second, maybe my feelings of inadequacy they are not wrong, because that points me instead to Jesus.
• 10:39
  Becky Beresford: What I don't have, my lack helps me experience God's gain and his goodness, and I can lean into that.
• 10:47
  Becky Beresford: But the sign, the sign is wrong.
• 10:50
  Becky Beresford: And so I went and I got a permanent marker and I crossed off the S in the she.
• 10:55
  Becky Beresford: So it says she believed he could.
• 10:57
  Becky Beresford: So she did, and I'm like that's the message of the gospel, right?
• 11:02
  Becky Beresford: I don't have to be the savior of my story.
• 11:04
  Becky Beresford: I already have one and he's really good at doing his job.
• 11:07
  Becky Beresford: I need to believe in him.
• 11:09
  Becky Beresford: I need to rely on his capacity and his care, not my own.
• 11:13
  Becky Beresford: And it was just this freeing feeling, like these weights coming off my chest, like I don't have to be the main helper, like God is the helper and I'm going to, I want to be dependent on him.
• 11:26
  Becky Beresford: And so I took the sign and I just shared it on Instagram as a fun little.
• 11:29
  Becky Beresford: Look what I did, you know.
• 11:30
  Becky Beresford: And the response that I heard from women to that was like, oh, I can, I can stand behind that sign.
• 11:37
  Becky Beresford: Something was off before with that other one, and that's because Jesus was taken out of the equation, because we're not supposed to believe in ourselves, we're supposed to believe in our good God.
• 11:49
  Becky Beresford: You know, I'm not enough on my own, but I am more than enough in Christ, and so when we put Jesus back into the equation, we put God back in at the center.
• 11:59
  Becky Beresford: That's when our hearts as women were like, yes, I can stand behind that.
• 12:04
  Becky Beresford: And that's when the Lord was like this is more than a post, this is actually a book.
• 12:08
  Becky Beresford: And so he had me write a totally new book, and that's where the message of she believed he could, so she did, kind of came from.
• 12:20
  Ellen Krause: Thank you for sharing so vulnerably about, you know, some of the struggles that you've had.
• 12:26
  Ellen Krause: I personally, I can relate to this so much and you know, when I got your book, I was so challenged by it because it forced me as well to take a look at my own striving and I was thinking too about just you know, even at Coffee and Bible Time here we're experiencing some like financial struggles, and it was kind of like you know what w e can't just keep doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, like we need to trust God in the process.
• 13:09
  Ellen Krause: And it also is just so interesting because our pastor just did a sermon on trust opens the door to peace, and so, if we like it, just both of those things combined, I really felt you know God speaking to me in that way.
• 13:30
  Ellen Krause: So I get it that so many people resonate with how you changed that.
• 13:34
  Ellen Krause: What are some of the other lies?
• 13:36
  Ellen Krause: You think that the enemy wants women to believe about their identities.
• 13:49
  Becky Beresford: I think one thing like actually I did kind of research with women what are some empowering phrases that you hear that make you feel, you know, strong and empowered?
• 13:55
  Becky Beresford: And one of the ones we hear everywhere is you can do hard things, which we can as women.
• 14:02
  Becky Beresford: We are strong.
• 14:03
  Becky Beresford: God has made us strong.
• 14:05
  Becky Beresford: I mean we can literally co-create life with him and birthing children alone you have to be so strong to do that and then nurturing children and families and so much more.
• 14:19
  Becky Beresford: Like he's given women strength to be able to do things, but the lie is that it's only on us.
• 14:27
  Becky Beresford: So what I do for each chapter is I cross out the common phrase and I replace it with biblical truth so you can do hard things is replaced with you can do hard, hard things the easier way, and that's by not relying on ourselves.
• 14:45
  Becky Beresford: And as women, I think we can sometimes be doers and for me, what he's shown me is I don't have to do all the things.
• 14:53
  Becky Beresford: Like there's such freedom when we come to God and say Lord, is this a thing that you actually want me to do, or is it something that I'm kind of appointing myself to, or it's something that I think I need to do because everyone else is doing it, or this would make me a good Christian.
• 15:12
  Becky Beresford: Or, you know, you name a good wife, a good friend.
• 15:16
  Becky Beresford: You fill in the blank.
• 15:17
  Becky Beresford: And it's really freeing to come to Jesus and surrender all the things and say I only want to pick up the things that you want me to do, and I know you are going to empower me to do those things Because we can very easily.
• 15:32
  Becky Beresford: I mean, I have done this so much so often I fill up my to-do list and then I end up being so weary, so burnt out at the end of it and I'm like, oh God, what, you are, my strength, why am I so tired?
• 15:46
  Becky Beresford: And he's like did I ask you to do everything on that list?
• 15:49
  Becky Beresford: Did you come to me and ask me first?
• 15:52
  Becky Beresford: There's an easier way to do this.
• 15:55
  Becky Beresford: So that's.
• 15:55
  Becky Beresford: That's one of them and our worth.
• 15:57
  Becky Beresford: I tied my worth for so long and I still struggle with this to what I was doing, to what I was accomplishing, and that's not what makes me me.
• 16:07
  Becky Beresford: I am God's daughter, first and foremost, period, and it doesn't matter what I do or what I don't do for him.
• 16:15
  Becky Beresford: His view of me never shifts, never changes, and so when we keep that in mind.
• 16:21
  Becky Beresford: It helps us take that pressure off to perform and strive and do and just lean into.
• 16:28
  Becky Beresford: Okay, lord, what do you want me to do?
• 16:30
  Becky Beresford: Holy Spirit, you lead my steps, you lead my decisions, and it's just a way that I have experienced freedom in such a big way.
• 16:41
  Becky Beresford: So that's just one chapter.
• 16:45
  Ellen Krause: This really caught my attention.
• 16:47
  Ellen Krause: It was one of the stories that you have about you know people's very honest and vulnerable stories, and this one happened to be Shauna's story about going from working in corporate America to staying home with her kids, and I just found it so interesting that kids.
• 17:16
  Ellen Krause: And I just found it so interesting that you know, when we say yes to God's purpose for us over our constant performance and sort of the trap that we can get into, that we are only, you know, identified as what we've accomplished or how far we've gotten up the corporate ladder.
• 17:32
  Ellen Krause: I just feel like that really hit home with me.
• 17:41
  Ellen Krause: Yeah, I know you know parents that stay home to take care of their kids.
• 17:47
  Ellen Krause: Somehow society can tend to make it seem less significant or important.
• 17:56
  Ellen Krause: So I love that you include, like these, real life examples of people that are going through these exact things that you and I are.
• 18:08
  Becky Beresford: Yes, we're not alone.
• 18:10
  Becky Beresford: I mean, that's another thing.
• 18:12
  Becky Beresford: I think the enemy wants us to feel like we're.
• 18:15
  Becky Beresford: We're the only ones struggling with shame, we're the only ones struggling with worth in our identity and misplaced putting it in wrong places, you know, but we're not.
• 18:27
  Becky Beresford: And when we share vulnerably and be authentic with one another, that's when that connection is created and then also the things we're struggling with are brought into the light and then the enemy doesn't have power anymore to make us feel isolated, to make us feel alone and to kind of just shame us into those little corners.
• 18:48
  Becky Beresford: It brings us out into the beauty of fellowship with other sisters.
• 18:53
  Becky Beresford: So I really wanted to share and make sure that other women's stories were included in this book so we could see like it's not just me, it's all of us.
• 19:05
  Ellen Krause: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:06
  Ellen Krause: How can recognizing you're not enough, be encouraging for the people that are listening and even freeing?
• 19:17
  Becky Beresford: Yeah, that is actually probably the biggest lie that has brought the most freedom in my life.
• 19:24
  Becky Beresford: And I think you know when you think about I don't know if you like Princess Bride, I love that movie but there's a Niga Montoya and he says you keep using that word but I do not think it means what you think.
• 19:37
  Becky Beresford: It means, when we say I am enough, what we're actually meaning and this is what I found, because I've gotten a lot of pushback on this and women are like but I am loved, but I am accepted, like they are actually meaning I'm loved, I'm accepted, I'm chosen, I am perfectly and wonderfully made, I'm important, I have worth, I have value.
• 20:02
  Becky Beresford: All those things are biblical, all those things you can find in scripture.
• 20:09
  Becky Beresford: However, the actual statement you are enough, I am enough, humans are enough on their own is found nowhere and that's because, again, it takes Jesus out of the equation.
• 20:24
  Becky Beresford: And I looked up the definition of the word enough and that means like I am fine on my own, I do not need anything else.
• 20:34
  Becky Beresford: And when we say I am enough, whether we are meaning it or not, we are also saying I am enough, I don't need anything else, including a savior, which I know I need a savior.
• 20:50
  Becky Beresford: Like I cannot do this on my own.
• 20:52
  Becky Beresford: I don't want that responsibility.
• 20:54
  Becky Beresford: I've tried it, I mess up, the enemy comes in and he condemns me.
• 20:58
  Becky Beresford: I see the cycle.
• 20:59
  Becky Beresford: We go down, down it, down it.
• 21:00
  Becky Beresford: I don't want it, I need, I need Jesus and I'm actually more than enough in Christ.
• 21:08
  Becky Beresford: The Bible says we are filled to all the measure of the fullness of God.
• 21:11
  Becky Beresford: Like that's some, that's a completeness that I cannot do on my own.
• 21:15
  Becky Beresford: I need Jesus for that level of completeness.
• 21:19
  Becky Beresford: But the enemy just wants to make us rely only on ourselves and what I?
• 21:26
  Becky Beresford: And I always go back to the garden.
• 21:28
  Becky Beresford: I just love the Garden of Eden.
• 21:31
  Becky Beresford: But you see, in the beginning Eve and Adam were walking with God.
• 21:36
  Becky Beresford: They were complete and made whole with him.
• 21:39
  Becky Beresford: They had this beautiful relationship.
• 21:41
  Becky Beresford: And then the serpent comes in and she is enough in God, right.
• 21:47
  Becky Beresford: But the serpent comes in and he's the one that tells her you aren't enough.
• 21:51
  Becky Beresford: You aren't enough, you need to reach for something more, to be more like God.
• 21:57
  Becky Beresford: You need more knowledge, right, he's holding out on you.
• 22:00
  Becky Beresford: You need more knowledge, reach for that fruit.
• 22:03
  Becky Beresford: And it became this very cruel, self-fulfilling prophecy that when Eve reached out for that fruit and took that bite.
• 22:11
  Becky Beresford: It was in that moment that she became not enough.
• 22:14
  Becky Beresford: She already was enough, and so I can see the I am enough in culture as just our heart cry to go back to Eden.
• 22:27
  Becky Beresford: Right, we are trying to go back to being enough, but the thing is, we are trying to be enough in and of ourselves versus being enough in our Savior, and that's the only way that we're going to have that fulfillment, that satisfaction, that deep love that our hearts are craving when we say I am enough, that deep acceptance that can only come through acceptance that is found in God.
• 22:52
  Becky Beresford: And so that's how I've experienced so much freedom from being like I don't have to be enough, god's enough for me, and I'm good with that and I'm going to lean into that.
• 23:04
  Ellen Krause: Yes, yes, you know, you get to this point where, um, it was another thing that I had highlighted in your book that said, oh and actually I just read it this morning at our staff meeting because I thought it was so great um, let's see, you say, at point, everyone will encounter an only God moment.
• 23:29
  Ellen Krause: It's the eye-opening realization that we've done everything we can and yet we can't change what is happening.
• 23:36
  Ellen Krause: And it's almost like when we get to the end of ourselves that we are able to.
• 23:48
  Ellen Krause: You know, kind of unfortunately.
• 23:51
  Ellen Krause: We should be turning to God every moment, not when we just get to the end of ourselves, but that you release it, let it go and sort of experience this freedom that you're talking about.
• 24:04
  Becky Beresford: Right, and it's a daily decision, like don't ever want to feel like or anyone to know or think.
• 24:12
  Becky Beresford: I guess I should say that I've arrived at being Christ-centered, empowered, like I don't think there's a full arrival.
• 24:21
  Becky Beresford: It's a daily decision to depend on God and sometimes, like you said, there are those situations where you have nothing else but to rely on God and those moments are the only God moments that make us believe in him for the miracle in him, for the answer in him, for the provision, whatever it is, because we can't do it.
• 24:45
  Becky Beresford: We just can't.
• 24:46
  Becky Beresford: But there are other times where it's almost more tempting and tricky, because we could.
• 24:54
  Becky Beresford: You know, like I could do this in my own strength.
• 24:57
  Becky Beresford: I'll be worn out, I will be um, you know, I don't know if it'll fulfill me.
• 25:03
  Becky Beresford: I don't know if it'll fulfill me.
• 25:04
  Becky Beresford: I don't know if I'm going to have joy in it.
• 25:08
  Becky Beresford: I could do it though, so I guess I will.
• 25:12
  Becky Beresford: You know, it's in those moments where we feel like we can kind of be the savior, the quasi savior, where it's hard to be like, but I'm going to stop, I'm going to pause and I'm going to say Lord, what do you want me to do in this situation.
• 25:26
  Becky Beresford: How can I rely on your strength, on you, holy Spirit.
• 25:29
  Becky Beresford: You guide this, you empower me.
• 25:31
  Becky Beresford: I could do it, but it's probably not going to end up.
• 25:34
  Becky Beresford: No, not probably.
• 25:35
  Becky Beresford: It won't end up as good and beautiful as if I did it your way.
• 25:43
  Ellen Krause: Well said for sure.
• 25:44
  Ellen Krause: I think one of the things about our society today is that we have so many tools and internet and searches and all these things that we feel like we can always figure things out, which is why, you know, we may be turning to God, you know, later rather than sooner, but I think of, like missionaries that are in places, and I talked to someone once who said they just prayed every day that the one vehicle they had would start, and it was old and God provided for their needs, you know, and so we're just so bombarded with having so much here that we lose the sense of urgency for reminding ourselves that no, god's got this.
• 26:37
  Ellen Krause: Yeah Well, you have another quote in here that I loved.
• 26:44
  Ellen Krause: That I loved.
• 26:51
  Ellen Krause: You said that women are done, being lied to, done, being told what empowerment should look like without considering the Bible.
• 26:54
  Ellen Krause: Done, looking inward, when their spirits were pointing them upward, and I thought that was so beautiful.
• 27:01
  Ellen Krause: So, for those that are listening, what are some practical ways to go about doing this process?
• 27:12
  Ellen Krause: Like you said, it's something daily, but tell us a little bit more about the balance between doing and trusting.
• 27:20
  Becky Beresford: Yes, Well, I think it's very important that we need to just have an honest conversation with God.
• 27:29
  Becky Beresford: He knows us, he knows what we're struggling with and so what is most helpful for me?
• 27:34
  Becky Beresford: Just practically, I sit down and I make a list of things that I'm really having a hard time surrendering to the Lord.
• 27:44
  Becky Beresford: I think it all starts with surrender, and so I sit there and I list off the things that this is hard to let go of, G od, and it's I'm going to be honest with you, J esus it's because I probably don't trust that you're going to take care of this situation better than I could, because what would be the reason for me to white knuckle it and hold onto it unless I felt like I could keep it safe, I could be, I could come up with the solution and the answer better than God.
• 28:12
  Becky Beresford: And so sitting down and just literally listing the things out and going to the Lord one by one with them has been really, really helpful to me.
• 28:23
  Becky Beresford: And you know, I think, at least in my life, one reason I don't want to let go is because maybe past trauma or hurt or past experiences are influencing me to hold on to it more.
• 28:40
  Becky Beresford: But we can kind of take that to another level and say so.
• 28:44
  Becky Beresford: If we think about past experiences, I'm going to then put this list to the side and I'm going to make another list and say so.
• 28:48
  Becky Beresford: If we think about past experiences, I'm going to then put this list to the side and I'm going to make another list and say how has God been faithful to me in the past?
• 28:55
  Becky Beresford: So then I make another list Okay, G od, how have you come through for me this week, even this month this year?
• 29:02
  Becky Beresford: And so I start writing out okay, he's done this, and at first it might be a little slower, a little hard, but soon, when your heart gets in that posture of thankfulness and just worship, really, really, that's worship You're.
• 29:16
  Becky Beresford: You're writing out like thank you for coming through for me, for this, thank you for bringing my dog back, like when you're talking about that only only God moment.
• 29:25
  Becky Beresford: That story was.
• 29:26
  Becky Beresford: It was in reference to our dog running away into a cornfield in the Midwest right before night and the coyotes were coming out and it was just.
• 29:36
  Becky Beresford: I was heartbroken.
• 29:38
  Becky Beresford: She's my girl, like, I have three boys and she's my girl, I love her, she's my dog and she my shadow ran away and we did everything we could to try to bring her back Right.
• 29:50
  Becky Beresford: We called all the shelters, we put up the signs.
• 29:54
  Becky Beresford: I even I had all of our old like dirty clothes hanging out on our porch and her, her cage was there.
• 30:01
  Becky Beresford: I took my other dog and had him pee all over the place.
• 30:04
  Becky Beresford: I'm like I will do anything, everything that I know how, and she wasn't coming back and that's the only God is going to be able to do this.
• 30:15
  Becky Beresford: And beautifully, on the third day, there was this rainbow and it was right where she ran away and it started to rain and Callie came back, like through where that rainbow was, and it was just the most beautiful reunion that only God could do.
• 30:34
  Becky Beresford: Because I got to a point in my prayers I was like Lord, would you send guardian angels to bring my dog back?
• 30:41
  Becky Beresford: If she's hiding, can you bring her out of hiding?
• 30:43
  Becky Beresford: Let her know she's okay and, like, bring her back.
• 30:46
  Becky Beresford: And I fully believe that's what happened.
• 30:49
  Becky Beresford: And so only God brought my dog back, and so that's something to put on there God, on that list, you brought my dog back.
• 30:57
  Becky Beresford: So it can be big things, it can be small things.
• 31:00
  Becky Beresford: Like God, I am breathing.
• 31:01
  Becky Beresford: I guess that's not a small thing, but I am breathing right now.
• 31:05
  Becky Beresford: Thank you that I have breath in my lungs and so just listing off how God has been faithful, that helps us put trust in him for our future and for our present.
• 31:19
  Becky Beresford: And we can then sit there with those hands that are white knuckled, holding on to the things that are most precious to us, and we can say you've been there for me in the past, you're going to be here for me now.
• 31:32
  Becky Beresford: I'm going to release this and surrender it to you, and so that's just a kind of practical, everyday kind of thing that we can do.
• 31:41
  Becky Beresford: But I think it really starts with surrender.
• 31:44
  Becky Beresford: If we don't surrender to God and we have our hands that are closed to him and we say I can do this, I can do this, we can't receive.
• 31:53
  Becky Beresford: We can't receive unless our hands are open.
• 31:56
  Becky Beresford: So that would always be square one for me is surrender.
• 32:03
  Ellen Krause: Yeah, great advice, something that we all need to do, for sure.
• 32:09
  Ellen Krause: Well, as we start to wrap things up here, becky, let's just sort of end on how can we practice godly confidence in who God has made us to be, as opposed to our own internalization of what we think we can do?
• 32:32
  Becky Beresford: Yeah, you know there's a lot out there that's telling women that you can be whatever you want to be and you can choose whatever path you want to do.
• 32:43
  Becky Beresford: You can follow your heart to your heart's content.
• 32:45
  Becky Beresford: But what makes us, I think, for me, what makes me feel alive, is when I know I am living into the person that God created me to be, because he did not make me to be the best version of myself.
• 33:00
  Becky Beresford: He made me to be like a spirit-filled version of his son and an imitation that's unique and diverse, and so we need to celebrate how God has made us uniquely to represent his personhood to the world.
• 33:16
  Becky Beresford: And it's different for women and men and everyone.
• 33:20
  Becky Beresford: But I think I guess men can do this too, but women, we can kind of slide into that comparison trap where we kind of look at ourselves and be like, well, I'm not like her in this way, or I'm not gifted in this way.
• 33:33
  Becky Beresford: And you know it's not just like jean sizes and hair or clothes, it's like giftings from the Holy Spirit.
• 33:42
  Becky Beresford: Well, G od's gifted her with hospitality and I hate cooking.
• 33:48
  Becky Beresford: Like, why am I not more like her?
• 33:50
  Becky Beresford: What's wrong with me?
• 33:50
  Becky Beresford: You, you know, and I can start like beating myself like um, but God has created us uniquely to be light to the world and to show different aspects of his personhood to others.
• 34:03
  Becky Beresford: And so the way we combat comparison is to celebrate each other, to say look at you know, come alongside them and support them, and they support us and in community.
• 34:14
  Becky Beresford: And so I think that helps build confidence, not in who we think we should be or even who we think other people should be or whatever with the comparison stuff, but it helps build godly confidence in who God has created us to be and we can walk in that and just be joyful about it.
• 34:38
  Becky Beresford: And I also think something else that's helped me when it comes to being confident in something is, like I said, I'm a doer and I like to try to do things well and that's good, you know, like God rewards hard work and so we can be diligent at doing whatever he's called us to do, but ultimately we're diligent and dependent on God at the same time.
• 35:04
  Becky Beresford: We depend on him for the results.
• 35:06
  Becky Beresford: He's the faithful one, he's going to be faithful to us, and so that's another way I've kind of practiced the idea of godly confidence, like I'm going to do what the Lord's called me to do, but ultimately it's up to him.
• 35:20
  Becky Beresford: He's going to come through for me, he's going to come through for you, he's going to come through for all of us, and it's not just solely dependent and reliant on us.
• 35:30
  Becky Beresford: And so godly confidence isn't about self-confidence, it's about God confidence.
• 35:35
  Ellen Krause: Agreed, agreed.
• 35:37
  Ellen Krause: You know, I think you just made a new sign here and it's going to say diligent but dependent.
• 35:45
  Ellen Krause: All right, becky, how can people find out more information about you and your book?
• 35:55
  Becky Beresford: So the best way to stay in contact with me is my website, beckyberesford.
• 35:59
  Becky Beresford: com, and I have some resources there that can sign up to be a part of my Empowered Email Tribe, and I also actually have a prayer journal that I made that people can.
• 36:13
  Becky Beresford: You know it's a freebie if they join my Empowered Email Tribe and it helps them process through each chapter, so that's on my website too.
• 36:21
  Becky Beresford: I'm also on Instagram and Facebook and the book can be purchased anywhere books are available.
• 36:28
  Becky Beresford: If you like to save money, like I do, I always check out Moody first, just because sometimes they have really good discounts.
• 36:35
  Ellen Krause: All right, excellent.
• 36:36
  Ellen Krause: We will make sure we have links to all of those in the show notes.
• 36:40
  Ellen Krause: Before we go, B ecky, I need to ask you some of our favorite Bible study tool questions.
• 36:45
  Ellen Krause: What Bible is your go-to Bible and what translation is it?
• 36:58
  Becky Beresford: So it is my Bible for Creative Journaling and it is NLT.
• 36:59
  Becky Beresford: I love New Living Translation.
• 37:00
  Becky Beresford: I've tried other ones, but it just I don't know.
• 37:02
  Becky Beresford: That one just speaks to my heart, and I love how it has the margins I can write in.
• 37:07
  Becky Beresford: I'm one of those people that writes in their Bible and underlines, and it also has fun little coloring that you can do in it.
• 37:12
  Becky Beresford: So that's my go-to.
• 37:14
  Ellen Krause: All right, good recommendation.
• 37:15
  Ellen Krause: Do you have any favorite journaling supplies or anything that you like to use to enhance your Bible study time?
• 37:24
  Becky Beresford: I always have a journal with me as well.
• 37:27
  Becky Beresford: I don't have like a favorite like pen or anything like that.
• 37:35
  Becky Beresford: I kind of like markers, I like colorful.
• 37:37
  Becky Beresford: So when I'm, when I'm writing, I like to make my, my journal, all sorts of different colors, just because I think it's, it's alive, it's the word is living and alive.
• 37:46
  Becky Beresford: So I want my journal to kind of look living and alive as well.
• 37:50
  Ellen Krause: Excellent.
• 37:51
  Ellen Krause: I bet it's very colorful.
• 37:52
  Ellen Krause: I'd like to see it.
• 37:53
  Ellen Krause: Lastly, what is your favorite app or website for Bible study tools?
• 38:00
  Becky Beresford: So, I love Blue Letter Bible If you want to get in like in depth with commentaries and you want to learn the context and just the meaning of words.
• 38:11
  Becky Beresford: I write for the First Five app for Proverbs 31 Ministries, so that's one that I love to use.
• 38:18
  Becky Beresford: And then I have another app that I love just for my heart and helps me with meditating on the Bible.
• 38:25
  Becky Beresford: So not necessarily studying it, but it's the One Minute Pause app by John Eldredge.
• 38:31
  Becky Beresford: He's one of my favorite authors and so that one is just wonderful.
• 38:36
  Becky Beresford: It helps you practice that idea of releasing and surrendering everything to God in the midst of your busy day.
• 38:43
  Becky Beresford: So that one, I always recommend that one.
• 38:46
  Ellen Krause: All right, Excellent suggestions.
• 38:48
  Ellen Krause: We will have a link to those in the show notes as well.
• 38:51
  Ellen Krause: Well, Becky, thank you so much for being here today.
• 38:56
  Ellen Krause: Thank you for showing us that Jesus offers a much better way by trusting in our faithful God and embracing true Christ-centered empowerment.
• 39:09
  Ellen Krause: A nd for our listeners.
• 39:13
  Ellen Krause: We appreciate you so much.
• 39:15
  Ellen Krause: Thank you If you leave us a review, we would greatly appreciate it.
• 39:19
  Ellen Krause: Have a blessed day.