Latest / Providence Baptist Church - Sermons / Ephesians 5:22-33

Transcript

Ephesians 5:22-33 · Providence Baptist Church - Sermons

0:00
Please join me in taking your copy of God's Word and turning to Ephesians chapter 5.
0:09
! This morning is going to be abnormal for us.
0:13
! If you're a guest this morning, I'm sorry.
0:17
On the one hand, I really would love for you to be here with us for our normal verse-by-verse
0:30
exposition, the general habit of our church. On the other, maybe it's good for you to see
0:36
that as a church we take the Scripture seriously and what it teaches seriously, even when it
0:43
comes to topics of Christian living. We, as a church, endeavor to walk in all things
0:50
in the truth. Over the past, I don't want to admit how many years, the issue of marriage,
1:01
divorce, and remarriage has come up in our verse-by-verse expedition, that as well, exposition,
1:09
as we work through the Gospel of Mark, and then more recently through the Sermon on the
1:15
Mount in Matthew. And each of those times, I have said to you, you'll recall if you were
1:21
here, that this is not an easy matter to sort through. In fact, it has been a centuries-old
1:28
debate on exactly what is the teaching of the Bible concerning particularly divorce and remarriage.
1:36
If you find yourself in a place this morning, believing that you have it already sorted out,
1:44
let me just invite you into a place of humility. It's most likely that you have not yet read enough
1:51
concerning these matters, that you've not really studied it fully, if you have a
1:57
abounding confidence in the position that you may hold. I know that many of you don't really know
2:05
exactly what to think, and this is where I found myself in some past years. Recently, comforted by
2:15
all of the position papers that I managed to find and pull and read, that the shortest amount of time
2:22
any church took in forming a position was a year, and many of them took much longer in careful study
2:30
over the matter. No matter the position we take concerning divorce and remarriage, we have to
2:38
extrapolate, we have to draw out some meaning, because the Bible is an ancient book. It wasn't
2:48
written in our language, and it wasn't written to our cultural context. So there's some challenges
2:55
sometimes fully grasping the meaning of a text, right? Ringing it out, and then having it harmonized
3:03
with the rest of what the Bible has to say. And this has been my labor over the past months.
3:12
I've picked it up. I've gotten so exasperated that I've put it back down. I've picked it up again,
3:16
because I knew that I had to. I have never in the past 10 years of being a pastor prayed for snow.
3:26
I must admit that I did this week, and yet we find ourselves here.
3:33
I have read and read and read. I have taken all of the pertinent texts and put them up on a large
3:40
board so I could look at it all together and scribbled and erased and tore down and put back up again.
3:48
I've labored in writing. Students, you may
3:51
connect with me on this and then highlighted whole pages and hit delete.
3:59
Rewrote and deleted and rewrote again.
4:03
I have sitting on my computer now as a draft a 10-page paper and growing that I had intended to
4:13
give to you this morning.
4:17
But as I personally have arrived at a position and
4:20
looked to articulate that position,
4:23
I set out first to say,
4:25
I'm just going to write a paper that states the position.
4:29
And then on the Sunday that we talk about it,
4:31
I'll try to do my best to articulate the opposing positions and work out the complexities of the text.
4:37
But beloved, it is complex.
4:40
It's not a single Sunday morning working out.
4:43
And I don't think it'd be great for our church to spend weeks and weeks and weeks
4:47
Sunday morning gatherings on this.
4:49
So we're going to do it this morning.
4:51
We're going to take some time.
4:53
But as I began to try to articulate the position well,
4:58
it seems so often necessary to talk about other positions held.
5:03
And so the paper kept growing and growing and growing.
5:07
And as I would reread it, I'd go,
5:09
I can't just say that.
5:10
That's a jump in logic.
5:13
As people read this paper,
5:14
I've got to explain that more.
5:16
So another paragraph and another paragraph
5:18
and another paragraph would be added.
5:21
So at this point, I've discarded it.
5:23
I mean, it exists, but I don't intend to hand you the document that I've been writing thus far.
5:32
But decided instead to distribute to you,
5:35
sort of as a rough draft of a position for our church,
5:39
a document that I had nothing to do with,
5:43
but yet I agree with it to this date.
5:47
That's a position paper that was presented to and adopted
5:51
at the Presbyterian Church of America 20th General Assembly in 1992.
5:58
And it's a part of a much greater work.
6:01
There's some application chapters.
6:03
There's some historical survey chapters
6:06
as the PCA Church has a rich Reformed tradition.
6:12
And what I've done is I've just pulled out chapter 2.
6:16
and made a ton of copies of it
6:19
and stapled this hand sore
6:21
to be able to put those copies in your hand this morning
6:25
so that we can talk further about this.
6:28
So I have some guys, I think they're the same guys
6:30
that took care of the offering for us.
6:32
They've got some stacks.
6:33
I'm going to ask them now just to go ahead
6:34
and work on distributing copies of this particular paper
6:38
for your further study.
6:41
We're going to reference it a little bit here in just a moment,
6:44
but I want you to take this home.
6:45
If you're a guest this morning, you don't have to.
6:47
I don't feel like you're obligated to take a copy of this and study it.
6:51
If you're a member, you certainly need to.
6:53
If you're a guest, you're welcome to,
6:55
if you'd like to put this in your hand.
6:57
I think we have enough for everybody this morning.
7:01
To be clear, presently, we believe in a plurality leadership.
7:08
Presently, we have one other elder, including myself.
7:12
There's two of us, Doug Hitchcock.
7:15
And I'm not presenting this as our position this morning
7:17
because I have not given Doug Hitchcock enough time to...
7:20
He didn't even know I was doing this.
7:22
Now he does.
7:22
Hey, Doug.
7:27
Him and I have done a lot of work on this topic.
7:30
I think very generally we agree.
7:32
We've spent a bunch of time talking through various implications and applications.
7:36
But I just want you to be aware that I'm springing this on him at this moment.
7:42
So don't, if you're upset, grill him.
7:46
Come to me.
7:49
While you're getting this, I want to express to you just some pastoral concern.
7:56
The way we approach this topic matters deeply
8:00
because marriage is an extremely important institution.
8:06
We'll talk more about that from Ephesians chapter 5 momentarily.
8:12
Extremely important institution.
8:14
We don't want to minimize, in talking about this, the importance of marriage.
8:21
But at the same time, we live in a fallen world
8:24
and people have been affected by divorce and remarriage,
8:29
the challenges and the messiness of marriage.
8:33
And so we don't want to minimize our love and care and concern for people as well.
8:41
And so there's a very careful tightrope to walk here
8:44
in talking about these things that I hope you'll join me in in some coming weeks.
8:50
I want to read from a pastor named Sam Storms who wrote a position paper on this.
8:55
I just felt like he summarized this pastoral challenge well.
9:02
So please hear my heart as we spend some time this morning around this topic this morning.
9:07
He wrote,
9:37
How do I stress the permanence of marriage without condemning,
9:42
how do I feel judged and rejected and unfit for ministry and service in the church?
9:44
But if I express compassion and love for divorced people
9:47
and remind them how much God really does love them,
9:51
others may think I'm glossing over their failures
9:55
and that I'm contributing to the very devaluation of marriage that I earlier denounced.
10:00
How do I stress the permanence of marriage without condemning the divorced?
10:08
And how do I love and affirm the divorced person without condoning sin and failure?
10:15
Our challenge is to mingle the call to obedience with the tears of compassion.
10:21
To be both tender to those who have failed without compromising the high standards of Scripture.
10:28
Here then is my two-fold appeal.
10:34
Number one, to the divorce I say that my emphasis on the importance of marriage
10:39
and honoring one's vows and fighting to stay together
10:42
does not mean I don't love you and care about you
10:46
or that you aren't wanted or can't fit in or can never be active in ministry.
10:52
Second, to the married I say that my emphasis on the dignity of the divorced person
10:57
and their value to God and the forgiveness and restoration that is available to them
11:02
through the cross does not mean that we can take a flippant, casual attitude toward marriage
11:08
or that marriage isn't worth preserving
11:10
or that we are adopting a loose view toward sin.
11:17
End quote.
11:17
So why have I labored so long in coming to a position concerning marriage, divorce, and remarriage?
11:30
Why does it matter so much that we work together on getting this as right as people, this side of glory, can get it?
11:39
First, marriage pictures, although so often imperfectly, the gospel of Jesus Christ.
11:52
It's a shadow of a greater thing.
11:56
It's meant to point us to the good that God has given to us in Jesus.
12:03
Let's look at our text briefly.
12:05
Again, this is an odd Sunday for us.
12:09
Ephesians chapter 5 is going to serve this single point of why this matters so very, very much,
12:14
and then I'll make some further comments.
12:18
Ephesians chapter 5, verse 22 and following.
12:24
Beloved, this is God's word to us written for his glory and for our good.
12:29
We would all do well to listen to it in order to believe its promises and obey its commands.
12:34
Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.
12:40
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church,
12:45
his body and is himself its Savior.
12:49
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
12:55
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
13:01
that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
13:05
so that he might resent the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
13:12
that she might be holy and without blemish.
13:15
In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
13:19
He who loves his wife loves himself.
13:21
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church,
13:28
because we are members of his body.
13:31
Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,
13:35
and the two shall become one flesh.
13:38
This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
13:43
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself,
13:48
and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
13:53
So we can see in this text that Paul says this profound mystery of the way that marriage is supposed to work
14:00
points us to a greater, a grander thing.
14:04
That Jesus Christ is the groom of the church,
14:10
and he has saved her by giving of his very self for her.
14:15
He laid down his life for the sake of ours.
14:20
That he would save us and that he would sanctify us.
14:23
Giving of himself for our good in him.
14:28
This is what marriage is meant to be like,
14:32
and it's what is meant to point to men sacrificially loving their wives.
14:39
For their wife's good, that she would be found in Christ.
14:43
That she would be found holy in him.
14:46
And wives lovingly submitting to that leadership in the home.
14:51
This was the design.
14:54
Paul even cites for us here,
14:57
Genesis chapter 2, when he says,
15:00
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,
15:03
and the two shall become one flesh.
15:06
This was the design from the beginning.
15:08
A man and a woman in lifelong commitment to one another.
15:12
Pressing each other in holiness.
15:16
That's why this matters.
15:18
As sin enters into the world,
15:20
just a few verses later in Genesis chapter 3,
15:24
as sin corrupts everything,
15:26
The church should be set apart.
15:30
The church should say something very clearly to the culture around us
15:34
about what marriage is,
15:36
how it's to function,
15:38
and what it's meant to picture.
15:41
So the way we pick up this topic is of importance,
15:45
and why I've labored so long in it.
15:48
Because first, marriage pictures,
15:50
although so often and perfectly,
15:53
the gospel of Jesus Christ.
15:56
Secondly,
16:00
marriage is a good gift.
16:05
Many of us in this room have experienced the goodness of marriage.
16:10
Being granted a spouse that loves us and presses us on,
16:15
even in their failures,
16:16
press us towards holiness in Christ.
16:20
And divorce,
16:22
invariably,
16:24
is difficult for all parties involved.
16:28
Invariably.
16:29
This is without exception.
16:31
The rending of a union
16:33
is a hurtful thing.
16:36
It's a hard thing.
16:39
We want to promote
16:40
lifelong marriages
16:42
for the good of people
16:43
to the glory of God.
16:46
We don't want to promote
16:48
divorce
16:50
because it's a harmful thing.
16:51
It's a damaging thing.
16:55
Third,
16:56
we have had to,
16:59
and will continue to have to,
17:02
counsel those
17:03
within our church
17:05
and without,
17:06
outside the doors of our church,
17:07
what the Bible teaches
17:10
on matters
17:11
concerning
17:12
marriage,
17:14
divorce,
17:15
and remarriage.
17:16
It's a very present reality
17:17
before us.
17:19
We need to be clear-minded
17:20
on these things.
17:21
What does the Scripture
17:23
teach
17:24
concerning these
17:25
matters?
17:27
Fourth,
17:31
our culture
17:34
is very confused
17:36
about marriage,
17:38
divorce,
17:39
and remarriage.
17:40
All three.
17:43
We have a fairly
17:44
anything-goes
17:45
mentality
17:46
as a culture
17:47
at large.
17:49
Having redefined marriage
17:50
altogether,
17:53
accepting divorce
17:53
for any reason
17:54
whatsoever,
17:55
those who fall in love
17:57
get married,
17:57
those who fall out of love
17:58
get divorced.
18:00
A large billboard
18:01
on your way to Atlanta
18:02
right now
18:03
on 400
18:04
that says,
18:06
undo,
18:07
quote-unquote,
18:08
I do.
18:10
And it's tragic
18:11
that such a thing
18:12
would be the display
18:14
for this particular
18:15
law firm.
18:18
Many people
18:19
these days
18:19
go through
18:20
multiple
18:21
divorces
18:22
and remarriages.
18:24
marriages
18:25
picked up
18:27
as a flippant thing,
18:28
a thing to not be
18:29
taken seriously.
18:32
Vows are meaningless
18:33
in our culture
18:34
these days.
18:38
Fifth,
18:40
the church
18:42
is confused
18:43
about marriage,
18:45
divorce,
18:46
and remarriage.
18:47
The church
18:47
at large
18:48
is confused.
18:50
We see
18:50
equally high
18:51
divorce rates
18:52
amongst those
18:53
who profess
18:54
to be followers
18:54
of Jesus Christ
18:55
as those
18:56
who don't.
18:58
So there must
18:59
be clarity.
19:01
But not only
19:02
in what we would
19:04
call more
19:05
conservative views,
19:06
more biblical
19:07
views on
19:08
marriage,
19:09
divorce,
19:10
and remarriage,
19:10
but there are
19:11
many
19:12
within orthodoxy
19:14
opposing views.
19:16
This is a
19:16
centuries-old
19:18
question
19:19
and debate.
19:23
I want to
19:23
maybe even
19:24
caution you
19:25
to not go
19:25
down the
19:26
wormhole
19:27
too deep
19:28
on this
19:29
debate.
19:31
This is why
19:32
I've charted
19:33
and graphed
19:34
and drawn
19:35
out.
19:36
I would
19:37
annoy you
19:37
to death
19:38
sharing with
19:39
you all
19:39
of the
19:39
things that
19:39
I've done
19:40
to try to
19:40
wrap my
19:41
mind around
19:41
all the
19:42
varying
19:42
views
19:44
and
19:45
positions.
19:47
Even within
19:47
the prominent
19:48
views,
19:48
there are
19:49
nuances of
19:49
them that
19:50
are hard
19:51
to represent.
19:52
It's difficult
19:52
to say,
19:53
let me tell
19:53
you what
19:53
this view
19:54
says because
19:54
I can speak
19:55
to it in
19:56
generalities,
19:56
but the
19:56
particulars
19:57
can differ
19:58
all the
19:59
same.
20:02
And so
20:02
there are
20:04
three positions
20:05
worth
20:05
considering
20:06
broadly,
20:08
and I want
20:09
to point
20:09
your attention
20:10
to the
20:10
second page
20:11
of this
20:12
document that
20:12
was handed
20:13
out.
20:14
Which
20:14
outlines
20:15
those for
20:15
you?
20:22
So it
20:23
would be
20:23
marked as
20:23
page 203.
20:32
About two
20:33
thirds down
20:33
the page,
20:34
it says
20:34
number one,
20:35
no divorce,
20:36
no remarriage.
20:37
That's where I'm
20:37
drawing your
20:38
attention to.
20:40
Those are
20:40
three positions
20:41
worth considering.
20:42
There's
20:43
another,
20:44
although there's
20:44
variances in it
20:45
enough that
20:45
some might
20:46
call it
20:46
more,
20:47
but I'll
20:47
call it a
20:47
fourth view,
20:48
which is
20:48
basically an
20:49
anything-goes
20:50
type of view,
20:51
which we
20:52
won't even
20:52
consider.
20:53
The Bible
20:53
does have
20:54
things to
20:55
say about
20:56
marriage,
20:56
divorce,
20:57
and remarriage.
20:58
We can't
20:58
just define it
20:59
for ourselves
21:00
and treat it
21:00
however we
21:01
would like.
21:02
So call that
21:03
the fourth
21:03
view and
21:04
look with me
21:05
for just a
21:06
bit at
21:07
three positions
21:08
worth
21:09
considering.
21:10
So the
21:12
first one is
21:12
the no
21:13
divorce,
21:13
no remarriage
21:14
view.
21:14
This is
21:14
very commonly
21:15
called the
21:16
permanence
21:16
view.
21:17
It's the
21:18
only view
21:18
that has
21:18
an agreed
21:19
upon name.
21:20
So if you
21:21
hear permanence,
21:21
this is what's
21:22
being talked
21:23
about.
21:23
Again,
21:24
there are
21:24
nuances
21:25
within it,
21:27
but permanence
21:28
folks would
21:29
say that
21:31
there is
21:31
no reason
21:32
for,
21:33
biblically
21:33
allowable
21:34
reason for
21:34
divorce and
21:35
no biblically
21:36
allowable
21:36
reason for
21:37
remarriage
21:37
if somebody
21:38
has been
21:39
sinfully
21:40
divorced.
21:42
And there
21:42
are many
21:42
orthodox
21:43
people that
21:44
hold this
21:45
view.
21:46
Some examples
21:46
in our day
21:47
are Votie
21:48
Bauckham
21:48
and John
21:49
Piper.
21:51
There's not
21:52
a lot of
21:52
writing,
21:52
but I have
21:53
some writing
21:53
on this
21:55
particular
21:55
view.
21:55
It's a
21:56
lesser held
21:57
view in
21:59
what we
21:59
would consider
22:00
orthodox
22:01
Christian
22:01
belief.
22:04
I think
22:04
there are
22:04
some people
22:05
in our
22:05
fellowship
22:05
that hold
22:06
this view
22:07
and there
22:07
are some
22:08
great arguments
22:09
to be
22:09
made for
22:11
it.
22:12
Second,
22:14
and this
22:14
paper develops
22:15
some of
22:15
those
22:15
arguments.
22:19
The second
22:20
view,
22:21
and this
22:22
is the
22:23
view put
22:23
forth in
22:24
this paper
22:24
and that
22:25
I would
22:25
put forth
22:26
to you
22:26
this morning,
22:27
which we'll
22:29
talk about
22:30
generally,
22:32
strictly
22:32
limited
22:33
grounds
22:33
for divorce
22:34
and for
22:35
remarriage.
22:36
I have
22:37
deemed
22:38
this,
22:39
me by
22:39
myself,
22:40
nobody
22:40
else has,
22:41
but by
22:41
myself I
22:41
call this
22:42
the less
22:42
permissive
22:43
view.
22:45
So permissive
22:45
would say
22:46
that there
22:47
are some
22:48
allowable
22:48
times and
22:49
purposes,
22:50
reasons,
22:51
but it's
22:52
not a
22:52
broad
22:53
sense.
22:53
It's a
22:53
lesser
22:54
sense of
22:55
permissive.
22:57
See the
22:57
first
22:58
couple
22:59
sentences
22:59
there.
23:00
a general
23:00
consensus
23:01
among
23:01
reformed
23:02
believers
23:02
is the
23:03
view that
23:04
the Bible
23:04
neither
23:04
condones
23:05
nor
23:06
commands
23:06
divorce,
23:08
but rather
23:08
permits and
23:09
regulates
23:10
divorce due
23:11
to sin.
23:13
So it's
23:13
not the
23:13
high ideal,
23:15
it's not
23:15
the thing
23:16
that we're
23:16
counseling
23:17
toward ever,
23:18
it's not
23:18
the thing
23:19
we want
23:19
to see
23:20
happen,
23:21
so the
23:22
scripture
23:22
doesn't
23:22
command it,
23:23
the scripture
23:23
does not
23:24
condone it,
23:26
but rather
23:27
permits and
23:28
regulates it.
23:31
However,
23:31
a person
23:32
can divorce
23:33
only for
23:34
adultery and
23:36
separation of
23:38
an unbelieving
23:38
spouse.
23:39
There's some
23:39
specific
23:40
circumstances
23:40
in which
23:41
someone can
23:42
be divorced
23:44
and the
23:44
question of
23:45
remarriage
23:45
arises later
23:47
as a result.
23:50
Prominent
23:51
people who
23:52
interestingly
23:53
all their
23:53
names start
23:54
with a J,
23:56
John
23:56
MacArthur,
23:58
J Adams,
23:59
the late
24:00
John
24:00
Murray,
24:02
Jim
24:02
Neuheiser,
24:03
these are
24:03
all people
24:03
you may be
24:04
familiar with
24:05
that hold
24:05
to this
24:06
view.
24:07
Once again,
24:09
with variance
24:10
and nuance
24:11
in their
24:12
particular
24:13
holding of
24:14
it,
24:15
the place
24:16
where my
24:16
brain came
24:17
to a
24:17
constant
24:18
screeching
24:19
halt,
24:19
got all
24:19
knotted
24:20
up,
24:20
was particularly
24:21
around the
24:22
conversation
24:22
of remarriage
24:23
and there's
24:24
not a
24:25
massive amount
24:26
of consensus
24:26
concerning that
24:28
matter.
24:30
The last
24:31
one is a
24:32
broader
24:32
grounds for
24:33
divorce and
24:33
remarriage.
24:34
I've deemed
24:35
this the
24:36
more permissive.
24:38
It's not
24:38
outside that
24:40
realm of
24:40
anything goes
24:41
kind of a
24:42
mentality,
24:44
but they would
24:44
suggest that
24:45
those two
24:46
reasons given,
24:48
adultery and
24:48
separation of an
24:49
unbelieving
24:50
spouse,
24:51
should be
24:52
interpreted with
24:53
more latitude.
24:53
So they're
24:54
more quick
24:55
to include
24:56
things like
24:56
abuse in
24:57
that category
24:58
or not
25:00
providing for
25:01
and meeting
25:02
the marital
25:03
agreement.
25:04
They would
25:05
tend to
25:05
work into
25:06
some of
25:07
that
25:08
understanding.
25:09
the labor
25:12
in this is
25:13
that we
25:13
don't want
25:14
to condone
25:15
that which
25:16
is sin.
25:17
We don't
25:17
want to give
25:18
permission for
25:19
sin.
25:20
We also do
25:21
not want to
25:21
forbid that
25:23
which is not
25:24
sin.
25:25
There's an
25:26
error on both
25:26
sides here.
25:29
There's always
25:30
a fine line
25:32
to walk
25:32
between
25:33
licentiousness
25:34
and
25:35
legalism.
25:37
We don't
25:37
want to find
25:37
ourselves in
25:38
either
25:38
place.
25:41
So the
25:43
position that's
25:43
put forth in
25:43
this paper,
25:44
the position
25:45
that I'm
25:46
putting before
25:46
you today,
25:47
I believe
25:48
is the most
25:50
exegetically
25:51
defensible,
25:53
theologically
25:54
sustainable,
25:55
and
25:56
pastorally
25:57
sensible.
26:00
For us as
26:01
a church,
26:01
it's going to
26:01
be important
26:02
that we
26:03
say,
26:04
this far,
26:06
but no
26:06
further.
26:07
We have to
26:08
say,
26:09
what can we
26:09
be confident
26:10
the Scripture
26:10
does in
26:11
fact teach?
26:12
I do think
26:13
that allows
26:14
for some
26:14
narrower views.
26:16
I don't mean
26:17
narrow-minded,
26:17
I mean just
26:18
more restrictive
26:19
views within
26:20
that view.
26:22
But we're
26:22
going to have
26:23
to consider
26:23
what will
26:24
our church
26:25
call sin
26:26
and what
26:28
will we
26:28
not?
26:29
This is a
26:30
challenging
26:30
thing to do
26:31
in this
26:32
matter.
26:34
Consider
26:34
particularly
26:35
the faithful
26:37
churches
26:38
that hold
26:39
varied views
26:40
and that
26:40
people may
26:40
come to
26:41
us from
26:41
those
26:42
places
26:43
and we
26:44
will be
26:44
asking them
26:45
to recognize
26:45
something as
26:46
sin that
26:46
they did
26:47
not previously
26:47
recognize as
26:48
sin and may
26:49
not be.
26:52
Some of my
26:52
insanity coming
26:53
out,
26:54
are you starting
26:54
to go,
26:54
gosh,
26:55
I have been
26:57
losing my
26:57
mind over
26:58
all of this.
27:00
So here's
27:02
the position
27:02
summary.
27:04
I know
27:06
we're not
27:06
opening the
27:07
text.
27:07
This is a
27:07
weird Sunday
27:08
for us.
27:09
Please know
27:10
that if you're
27:10
a guest.
27:12
The position
27:13
put forth in
27:13
this paper,
27:14
this is my
27:14
summary of
27:15
that position
27:16
and it's
27:16
what I want
27:17
you to pick
27:17
up and I
27:17
want you
27:18
to wrestle
27:19
with.
27:23
Number one,
27:24
marriage is
27:25
the lifelong
27:25
uniting of
27:26
one man and
27:27
one woman in
27:28
covenant
27:28
commitment.
27:29
This is from
27:30
our statement
27:30
of faith.
27:31
Marriage is.
27:32
This is what
27:32
it was intended
27:32
to be.
27:34
This is the
27:34
point.
27:35
We do
27:39
premarital
27:40
counseling in
27:40
this way.
27:42
The vows
27:42
that we do
27:43
when I
27:45
officiate a
27:45
wedding ceremony
27:46
are permanence
27:47
vows.
27:48
We don't say
27:49
do you,
27:50
unless of
27:50
course if.
27:51
We don't
27:51
include that.
27:52
This is the
27:53
point.
27:53
This is the
27:54
goal.
27:54
This is what
27:54
we're striving
27:55
for.
27:56
Lifelong
27:56
uniting of
27:56
one man and
27:58
one woman in
27:59
covenant
28:00
commitment.
28:02
That's number
28:02
one.
28:03
Number two,
28:05
a believer
28:06
should not
28:06
marry an
28:07
unbeliever.
28:09
This comes
28:09
into play
28:10
later as we
28:10
talk about
28:11
remarriage.
28:13
Believers
28:14
should not
28:14
marry an
28:14
unbeliever.
28:15
They should
28:15
not be
28:15
unequally
28:16
yoked.
28:19
Third,
28:20
a believer
28:21
should remain
28:22
married to
28:23
an unbeliever
28:24
if the
28:26
unbeliever is
28:27
willing to
28:28
remain married.
28:31
Somebody
28:31
converted to
28:33
faith in
28:33
Christ should
28:33
not divorce
28:34
their
28:35
unbelieving
28:36
spouse if the
28:38
spouse is
28:38
willing to
28:38
remain in
28:39
the marriage.
28:42
Fourth,
28:45
divorce always
28:46
stems from
28:47
sin,
28:48
but in
28:49
some cases
28:50
is not
28:53
sinful for
28:56
one of the
28:57
parties of
28:58
the divorce.
28:59
Divorce always
29:00
stems from
29:00
sin, but in
29:00
some cases
29:01
is not
29:01
sinful.
29:02
The Bible
29:03
never commands
29:04
divorce.
29:06
It doesn't
29:07
condone it,
29:08
but it does
29:09
not condemn
29:10
divorce in
29:12
two cases.
29:12
when a
29:15
spouse is
29:15
sexually
29:15
unfaithful.
29:18
Secondly,
29:19
when an
29:20
unbelieving
29:21
spouse
29:21
abandons
29:22
a believing
29:23
spouse.
29:25
And there
29:25
are particulars
29:26
and there
29:26
are intricacies
29:27
even in
29:28
those two
29:29
exceptions.
29:34
Fifth,
29:35
because death
29:36
breaks the
29:37
marriage bond,
29:37
remarriage is
29:38
allowed for
29:39
the surviving
29:40
spouse.
29:42
And sixth,
29:44
and you're
29:45
going to hate
29:45
this one because
29:45
it's the
29:46
broadest one I'm
29:46
going to give
29:46
you this
29:47
morning.
29:48
The paper
29:49
speaks more
29:50
to this.
29:51
In some
29:51
cases,
29:53
remarriage is
29:54
allowed for
29:55
divorced people
29:55
with surviving
29:57
ex-spouses.
30:00
In some
30:00
cases,
30:01
remarriage is
30:02
allowed for
30:03
divorced people
30:03
with surviving
30:05
ex-spouses.
30:07
I want you to
30:08
read carefully
30:09
through that
30:10
section.
30:10
It's the very
30:11
end of this
30:11
paper.
30:12
And give
30:13
it prayerful
30:13
thought and
30:14
consideration.
30:16
So, I
30:18
know that's
30:18
probably really
30:19
unsatisfying for
30:20
you.
30:22
Know that
30:22
everything I'm
30:23
saying is
30:23
accompanied by
30:24
a 28-page
30:25
document that I
30:26
want you to
30:27
read and dig
30:27
into and give
30:28
lots of
30:30
thought.
30:31
Prayerfully
30:32
consider it.
30:32
Roll around.
30:32
Have lots of
30:33
conversations about
30:34
this.
30:35
I'm available
30:35
most of the
30:37
time to talk
30:38
about it.
30:39
My only rule
30:40
is not today.
30:42
I don't want
30:43
to talk about
30:43
divorce and
30:44
remarriage today.
30:45
So, I
30:46
promise I will
30:46
shut you down
30:47
if you come up
30:47
to me after the
30:48
service and want
30:48
to talk about
30:49
it.
30:49
But other
30:50
times, after
30:51
today, I'm
30:52
here with you
30:53
and I want to
30:53
walk through it
30:54
and I want to
30:54
pursue the
30:55
truth together.
30:57
And so, let me
30:59
just say some
31:00
things to you about
31:01
how we should
31:01
continue in this
31:02
process and then
31:04
we're going to
31:04
talk about the
31:04
gospel again a
31:05
little bit and
31:05
then we're going
31:06
to sing some
31:06
great songs
31:06
together and
31:09
press on with
31:10
our day.
31:12
So, as we,
31:13
it's been my
31:14
labor, I'm
31:15
inviting you into
31:15
that now as
31:16
well.
31:18
Number one, let's
31:19
be congregational.
31:21
We are a
31:22
congregational
31:22
church.
31:23
That means that
31:23
people who are
31:23
members of this
31:24
fellowship are
31:25
responsible for
31:26
the doctrine of
31:27
this church.
31:29
That means you
31:29
play a part in
31:30
that.
31:31
And the elders
31:31
of your church
31:32
should and we
31:33
want to give you
31:34
leadership in
31:35
that.
31:35
We want to get
31:36
out ahead of
31:36
you and do
31:37
hard work and
31:38
present things
31:39
and teach you
31:40
what the
31:40
scripture says,
31:41
but you are
31:42
responsible for
31:43
what our church
31:44
decides, where
31:45
we decide to
31:46
stand on this
31:46
particular issue.
31:48
And you should
31:49
not do that
31:50
when you show up
31:51
to a meeting
31:52
and suddenly you
31:53
have questions
31:54
and suddenly you
31:55
have an opinion
31:56
and a thought.
31:58
Do the work.
31:59
Get in there
32:00
and work it
32:01
through if you
32:03
want a voice
32:03
and you want to
32:04
speak and be
32:05
part of the
32:05
process.
32:06
Be congregational.
32:07
That doesn't
32:08
just mean show
32:09
up to a
32:09
meeting and
32:09
vote.
32:10
That means
32:11
pick up the
32:12
challenge.
32:13
Take up the
32:14
work of working
32:15
it through.
32:16
I have got
32:17
endless resources
32:18
I could give
32:19
you.
32:19
There are many
32:19
of them cited
32:20
in this particular
32:21
paper as well.
32:23
You may need
32:23
to pick up a
32:24
read and work
32:26
it through and
32:26
read it.
32:28
So be
32:29
congregational in
32:30
the broad
32:32
sense all the
32:32
time as we're
32:33
working this out
32:34
together.
32:35
together.
32:37
Secondly, let's
32:39
give the Bible
32:40
the final say.
32:42
And what I
32:43
mean by that
32:43
is try to
32:44
set aside your
32:45
prejudices as
32:46
you come to
32:47
the text,
32:48
which we all
32:49
have around
32:51
so many
32:51
issues.
32:53
But almost
32:53
all of us
32:54
have been
32:54
affected by
32:55
divorce in
32:56
some way in
32:57
our life.
32:57
We have
32:58
emotion that
32:59
we bring to
33:00
the text.
33:02
We want to
33:02
see a certain
33:03
outcome.
33:04
We would
33:05
prefer it to
33:06
say a
33:06
particular thing
33:07
to justify a
33:09
particular action
33:10
that's happened
33:10
in the past
33:11
or to condemn
33:12
a particular
33:12
action that's
33:13
happened in
33:14
the past.
33:15
So prayerfully
33:16
labor to set
33:17
aside those
33:17
things.
33:18
Come to the
33:19
text honestly.
33:20
What does the
33:21
scripture teach
33:23
on this?
33:24
Be prepared
33:25
that it is
33:26
not abundantly
33:28
clear.
33:29
the most
33:31
pertinent
33:31
texts are on
33:32
the back of
33:32
your bulletin.
33:33
You may or
33:34
may not have
33:34
noticed that.
33:37
I think it's
33:38
helpful to see
33:38
them next to
33:39
each other.
33:40
To not have
33:41
to flip,
33:42
flip,
33:43
flip,
33:43
flip,
33:43
or scroll,
33:44
scroll.
33:44
I think it's
33:45
helpful to
33:45
actually be
33:46
able to look
33:46
at them
33:47
together,
33:48
compare.
33:48
These are
33:49
all from
33:49
the ESV
33:50
translations.
33:52
So I hope
33:52
that will be
33:53
a help to
33:53
you in being
33:54
able to look
33:56
at them in
33:57
this way.
33:59
But be
33:59
cautioned.
34:02
Be sure to
34:03
place your
34:03
study of
34:04
this particular
34:04
topic in
34:06
the larger
34:07
context of
34:08
God's
34:09
redemptive
34:09
story.
34:11
You have a
34:12
printed copy of
34:13
that, I hope.
34:13
If you don't,
34:14
I'll get you
34:14
one.
34:15
I didn't need
34:16
to put that
34:16
on the back
34:17
of your
34:17
bulletin,
34:17
I hope.
34:18
Try to put
34:19
this in the
34:19
larger context
34:20
of God's
34:22
redemptive
34:22
story.
34:26
Third,
34:27
let's
34:29
pursue the
34:29
truth in
34:31
love.
34:32
Let's
34:32
pursue the
34:33
truth in
34:34
love.
34:34
Let's
34:34
work together
34:35
on this.
34:37
Please know
34:38
that my
34:38
intent is
34:39
not for
34:39
our church
34:40
to hold
34:40
my view.
34:42
I don't
34:42
care if
34:43
I am
34:44
shown right.
34:45
I care that
34:46
God's shown
34:46
glorious,
34:47
that He's
34:48
given instructions
34:48
to His
34:49
people,
34:49
and that we
34:49
would follow
34:50
those
34:50
instructions
34:51
for our
34:53
good and
34:53
His fame,
34:55
His acclaim
34:55
in the
34:56
world.
34:56
So let's
34:57
work together
34:58
on that.
34:59
I am glad
34:59
to be
35:00
challenged,
35:01
but do so
35:02
in love.
35:03
Do so in
35:04
care and
35:04
concern.
35:05
We want to
35:05
come together
35:06
and do
35:07
this together.
35:09
Land our
35:09
finger on the
35:10
position our
35:10
church will
35:11
hold on
35:11
this.
35:12
The German
35:13
theologian,
35:13
this has been
35:14
accredited to a
35:14
lot of
35:15
people,
35:15
but it was
35:15
the German
35:15
theologian,
35:17
Rupertus
35:17
Melvinius,
35:18
probably why
35:19
people try to
35:19
accredit it to
35:20
somebody else,
35:22
said,
35:23
in essentials
35:24
unity,
35:26
in non-essentials
35:27
liberty,
35:28
in all things
35:29
charity,
35:30
and that was
35:30
the word used
35:30
for love.
35:31
In all
35:32
things
35:33
charity.
35:36
So let's
35:36
pursue the
35:37
truth in
35:37
love.
35:38
Fourth,
35:40
let's be
35:40
humble.
35:43
Let's be
35:43
humble.
35:44
God has a
35:44
way,
35:44
if we are
35:45
not already
35:46
humble,
35:47
humble
35:48
ourselves to
35:49
humble us,
35:50
and I
35:53
will be an
35:53
agent in
35:54
that process
35:55
if need
35:55
be.
35:57
I'm not
35:58
saying that I've
35:59
studied this
35:59
more,
35:59
therefore I'm
36:00
right.
36:00
I'm saying I
36:01
have studied
36:01
it,
36:02
and studied
36:02
it,
36:03
and studied
36:03
it,
36:03
therefore I'm
36:04
humble.
36:06
You will
36:07
not approach
36:08
me with an
36:08
argument I
36:09
have not
36:09
already argued
36:10
with myself.
36:12
So be
36:13
careful in
36:14
your approach.
36:15
Be humble.
36:16
Don't think
36:17
you have the
36:17
corner on the
36:18
truth.
36:18
I don't think
36:19
I do.
36:20
I'm doing
36:21
my very best
36:22
with a great
36:23
deal of
36:23
fear and
36:24
trembling to
36:24
work out what
36:25
the scripture
36:25
has to say
36:26
on these
36:26
matters.
36:27
Please approach
36:28
it the same
36:28
way.
36:29
It will
36:30
serve us all
36:30
well to do
36:31
that very
36:32
thing.
36:33
I'm not
36:33
trying to be
36:34
true.
36:34
The scripture
36:35
is true.
36:36
God be
36:37
proven true
36:38
in these
36:39
matters.
36:40
So let's
36:40
be humble.
36:44
Fifth,
36:46
let's
36:47
remember the
36:48
gospel.
36:50
And last,
36:51
let's
36:53
remember the
36:55
gospel.
36:57
We as a
36:57
people who
36:58
take the
36:58
Bible very
36:59
seriously,
37:00
praise the
37:01
Lord,
37:01
the grace
37:02
that he has
37:02
worked in
37:03
us that we
37:03
take the
37:04
Bible very
37:04
seriously,
37:05
we also
37:07
tend to
37:07
take its
37:08
commands and
37:09
find our
37:09
worth in the
37:10
keeping of
37:11
them.
37:13
To say we
37:14
are most
37:16
obedient,
37:16
therefore we
37:17
are accepted
37:18
by God.
37:20
But we
37:20
are not
37:21
accepted by
37:22
God because
37:23
of our
37:23
works.
37:24
We are
37:25
accepted by
37:25
God because
37:26
of the
37:26
completed work
37:27
of Jesus
37:28
Christ.
37:31
We would
37:31
be fools to
37:32
think that we
37:33
will always
37:33
have our
37:35
doctrine and
37:36
our practice
37:37
all lined
37:38
up.
37:39
Be a
37:39
student of
37:40
church history
37:41
and you will
37:41
find that no
37:42
generation has
37:42
done this.
37:43
They've all
37:43
had their
37:44
failings,
37:44
they've all
37:45
had their
37:45
faults.
37:45
And while
37:46
we want to
37:47
endeavor to
37:48
do it right,
37:49
we should,
37:50
oh, let us
37:50
be the first
37:51
perfect generation
37:52
that's gotten
37:53
it all right,
37:54
it's doubtful
37:56
that we will.
37:57
We will have
37:58
missed it at
37:58
some point.
38:00
So even as
38:01
we are zealous
38:02
to be obedient
38:04
to every
38:05
command of
38:06
the Bible,
38:07
let's not
38:08
forget that
38:09
the gospel of
38:09
Jesus Christ
38:10
says to us
38:10
that we're
38:11
not accepted
38:11
because we
38:12
get it all
38:12
right.
38:13
We're accepted
38:14
because Jesus
38:15
got it all
38:16
right.
38:18
He threaded
38:19
it perfectly.
38:21
He is our
38:22
righteousness.
38:24
And he
38:24
has the very
38:25
motivation for
38:26
us to want
38:26
to get it
38:27
right, to
38:28
want to be
38:28
obedient in
38:29
all things,
38:30
to strive to
38:31
honor God
38:31
with our
38:32
very living.
38:34
And so let's
38:35
not forget
38:36
that.
38:36
Let's remember
38:37
the gospel
38:39
as we work
38:40
together.
38:42
I'm going to
38:42
close in reading
38:43
to you as a
38:44
way of
38:45
reminder,
38:46
Romans chapter
38:46
8 and
38:47
verse 1
38:48
where Paul
38:48
said,
38:49
there is
38:50
therefore now
38:51
no condemnation
38:53
for those
38:54
who are in
38:55
Christ Jesus.
38:58
May we as a
38:58
people pick up
38:59
that promise
39:00
as we endeavor
39:02
to be obedient
39:02
to every
39:03
command of
39:05
the Bible,
39:06
particularly
39:06
in the coming
39:07
weeks as it
39:08
pertains to
39:09
marriage,
39:10
divorce,
39:11
and remarriage.
39:12
church.
39:12
Let's pray
39:13
together to
39:14
that end.