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Why Narcissists Don't Like To read long messages or emails · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about how narcissistic people
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  don't like to read long messages and long emails.
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  So you might want to save them to yourself that that paragraph
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  you about to send, you might want to hold on to it.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Boom boom, welcome back y'all,
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  welcome back y'all be behind the scenes bouncing to the theme
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  music, to the to the introduction.
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  They give you hype, that's all. Smiley, before we hop deep into
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  today's episode, y'all make sure if you haven't already, check
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  out my kids book Remember It's Not Your fault.
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  Written by my wife and myself, illustrated by my sister-in-law.
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  It's a good conversation started to have with your kids about,
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  you know, toxic relationships, telling them the truth,
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  boundaries, all the other good stuff.
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  Y'all remember it's not your fault.
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  It's available on Amazon right now.
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  But yes, y'all, you might want to save that long message that
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  you bought to send to your narcissistic partner or ex or
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  whoever they are in your life, right?
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  You might want to save it because narcissistic people,
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  toxic ass, manipulative, just devastatingly nasty people do
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  not like to read long messages. Yeah, I mean, this is not not
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  wrong. I'm not making this up.
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  Now will sometimes that narcissist if they're trying to
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  get you back, if they're begging and pleading, will they read a
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  long message from you? Perhaps, but most narcissistic
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  people skim. They skim, they skim for
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  whatever they they skim for their names, they skim for what
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  they're whatever they're looking for, and they only respond to a
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  bit of a little bit in piece of whatever you decide to send to
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  them. Yo, let's keep it hot.
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  I read a look. Matter of fact, I'm going to
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  break this down on my other channel.
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  Shout out to I think what's her name but her initials are SC.
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  She sent me some text messages I'm going to break down here
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  later, but literally she was sending long paragraphs to her
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  her to her ex narcissistic person.
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  He was responding with one sentence.
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  They don't read the whole thing. They read what's important to
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  them. And what's important to them is
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  that you're sending the message in the 1st place.
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  They don't care if you if it's a long message talking crap or
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  whatever. They just want you to send it
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  anyway. You sending the message to them
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  makes them feel like you still want them, makes them feel like
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  they still have a place in your life, makes them feel like they
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  still have access to you. Because why are you messaging
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  me? The longer the message.
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  This is kind of like this, y'all.
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  The longer the message, the more you care.
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  You know, I'm still getting over that cold, y'all, so bear with
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  me. But yeah, the longer the
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  message, the more you care. This is the mindset of a lot of
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  narcissists right here, y'all. And that doesn't make any sense.
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  I know it doesn't make sense. I get that, I understand it
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  understand it now, but the longer the message the more they
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  think you care. They just want to wear you down
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  because you y'all be real. When you are sending a long
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  message do you not get exhausted?
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  Are you not tired from sending that long ass message you like?
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  This is it can be not just mentally it not going to be it
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  getting it might not just be physically exhausting.
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  It takes a mental toll on you to to type all of that stuff up,
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  whether you're typing on the phone or or computer, even if
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  you don't talk to text, it still can be taxing on you.
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  So with the with the fact that it's taxing on you should give
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  like narcissist like it, it, it wears you down.
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  It breaks you down to the point where you just like, but damn
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  it, I'm just going to send. I'm going to pour my heart into
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  this message and then you get a one word response or one
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  sentence response. The young lady I talked to
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  today, she said the whole paragraph, she got one sentence
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  response. It had nothing to do with what
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  she said. His response was you know it's
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  you, you know it's you I want. That's all they like.
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  What the hell? He didn't try, he didn't lie, he
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  didn't cheated, he didn't did some other stuff.
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  He didn't hit some, took some condoms, he didn't did all kinds
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  of BS y'all. And this man had the audacity to
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  respond. You know, it's you I want and
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  it's like you've been begging and pleading for another chance
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  like I want to yeah, I'm going to bring these messages.
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  These messages. I I laughed at them.
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  I I did laugh at them, but I did a one-on-one with her this
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  morning. It was it was a good one-on-one,
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  you know, but this is what happens, y'all.
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  They don't read the long stuff now the opposite.
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  They'll send you some a long ass message and they expect you to
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  read. They expect you to read the
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  message from beginning to end to the middle.
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  They expect you to dissect it. You, you got to dissect their
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  messages and respond to every single bit and pieces of it.
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  Or you don't care about them or you don't love them, but they
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  don't care to read your stuff, y'all, Because yeah, it's all
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  about them. It really is.
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  It's all about them. But you get that.
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  You get down to the nitty gritty, the bottom, the base,
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  the basement level of it. You see that is really, truly
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  all about them. Narcissistic people typically
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  only care about themselves in these spaces, y'all.
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  And that's not me trying to just be delusional.
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  This is really how it goes. They don't want to read that
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  long ass e-mail. They don't want to read that
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  long ass message. Now, again, if they're trying to
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  get you back, if they're if, if they, if you have broken up with
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  them, if you left the relationship with them, then
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  guess what? They might every once in a while
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  try to get back in a relationship with you, right?
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  They might every once in a while try to balance like they they
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  might read the entirety of the message in order to try to get
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  you back and they might try to pretend to be loving, caring,
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  kind, compassionate to try to get you back with them.
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  If you've left them, if you with no contact with them, yes, they
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  might read a long message then. But when you're pouring out your
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  when you, when you are with them, when you're in a
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  relationship with them, when you're trying to make it work
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  with them, when you're pouring out your feelings in a text
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  message, when you're just want, when you just want to be heard,
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  when you want your feelings to matter.
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  When you typing up that long ass e-mail, when you voice to
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  texting, when you're typing up that long ass text message, you
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  pour every ounce of heart, every ounce of feeling, every possibly
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  motion into it and you hit that send button and then look, it
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  took you 20 minutes to write this message, to send this
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  e-mail, right? It takes them one minute to
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  respond. OK, got it.
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  Thanks. You know it's you.
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  I want like you put your heart and soul into it.
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  You know they didn't read the whole thing because it's not
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  like it's kind of like this right here.
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  Imagine sending your friend, right?
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  You send your friend a TikTok or a TikTok or a, a TikTok or a
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  Instagram reel or Facebook reel or YouTube video that you think
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  is hilarious or that you think is interesting, right?
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  It's a 4 minute video. You send it right at 1:00 PM.
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  They respond laugh out loud or ha ha Oh my goodness.
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  At at 1:02 PM, you know they didn't watch the whole thing.
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  You know they didn't listen to the whole thing.
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  Same mindset applies. Narcissistic people don't care
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  that again, on the other side of things, if they were to send it
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  to you, they expect, they expect you to watch or read the whole
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  thing. It's not fair, it's not equal.
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  There is no equality in relate in an abusive relationship.
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  Y'all let's just put it out. Let's put it out there like
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  that. There is no equality, there is
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  no reciprocity. You don't get that in abusive,
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  narcissistic, toxic ass relationship.
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  You just do not. So I'm just making this video.
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  I'm not like saying sometimes, like, yeah, well, Lee, I just
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  have to send this message. I just have to get it off my
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  chest. I just have to let them know.
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  You don't have to let them know. You don't have to do that.
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  You have to drink water. You have to eat food to survive,
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  right? You have to breathe air.
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  Those are things you have to do. You want to send this message.
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  You feel like you have to, but you just want to send this
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  message. If you have to send this
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  message, type this, type it up, send it to somebody else, send
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  it to yourself, Tweet and delete it.
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  Put in your notepad app, you know, send it to your best
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  friend and tell your best friend to delete it.
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  Send it to me. e-mail it to me if you might, If you, this is
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  what I tell people my support in my support group, in my support
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  group, the mental healers. I, I tell people I was like,
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  hey, look, if you feel like you have you, you, you got the itch
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  to send a message, send it to me instead.
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  You can e-mail it to me. Just get it off your chest.
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  You're sending, you want to send it to a narcissist, send it to
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  one that's trying to help you. You know what I mean?
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  You going, you send it to you want to send it to a narcissist
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  anyway, You might as well send it to one that's going that's
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  trying to help you. That's one of the benefits we're
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  getting in my my support group like you can.
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  If you need help, stay in no contact.
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  I'm gonna help you Say no contact.
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  Send me that e-mail. Send me that message you want to
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  send to them because you know they're not going to read it.
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  You know, you know what I'm saying?
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  You just have to get it off your chest.
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  I know that's, that's what a lot of people, you want to know that
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  you matter, right? You want to know that you
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  matter. What if you matter to them, but
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  not as much as they matter to themselves.
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  You know what I'm saying? You will never matter more to
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  them than they do to themselves. You just, yo, you just can't,
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  you see what I'm saying? You would never get, you would
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  never get out of a toxic relationship what you put into
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  it. And that's just the truth of the
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  matter. You won't get out of it what you
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  put into it. You, if you put it, it's like,
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  it's kind of like put it in $100 and get it back 25.
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  How many times are you willing to do that with your own money?
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  Yeah. You don't know how much you
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  make. I don't know how much you make
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  an hour. I don't know where you work.
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  I don't know what career, what your career path is.
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  But I don't care how many money I make.
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  I'm just like, if I keep giving you $100 and I'm only get 25
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  back with nothing else, you just here is here.
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  Keep the change. Are you telling her to keep the
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  change? You see what I'm saying?
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  Hell no. So when you, before you send
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  that long message, this is something you need to think
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  about y'all, because I'm just telling you they don't care.
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  Y'all, I'm not saying the narcissist never cared about
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  you, right? I'm not saying that because like
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  this just wouldn't be. That'd be disingenuous to me and
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  my platform. I'm not saying that they never
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  cared about you, but they've always cared about themselves
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  more. They've always and they always
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  will care about themselves more. That's just the way it's going
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  to go. They're not going to treat you
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  better than they treat themselves.
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  What sense does that make? You see what I'm saying?
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  What sense does it make that I treat you better than I treat
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  myself? That I'm giving to you more than
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  I give to myself? What sense does that make at
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  all? It doesn't make any sense, you
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  know what I'm saying? Especially when you have the
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  narcissistic personality type. Like it doesn't make sense to
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  give you more than I'm giving to myself.
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  No. So before you haul off and send
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  that long ass message, you know what I'm saying?
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  That's why you trying to communicate with a narcissist.
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  Keep it like tighten it up. Y'all tighten, tighten it up.
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  You got to, you got to squeeze, you got to squeeze it.
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  You got to squeeze it down low, you got to squeeze it because if
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  you don't squeeze it then the stuff will keep happening.
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  You know what I'm saying? Just straight to the point.
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  If you have to message them, it's about Co parenting, it's
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  about some money. If y'all are still together,
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  straight to the point. Don't see no long ass paragraph.
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  They're not going to read it. Sometimes they'll tell y'all,
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  sometimes they'll tell you straight up, I'm not, I'm not
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  reading all of that. They'll tell you straight up
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  they're not reading all of it. Then what are you going to do
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  then they'll dismiss your feelings, they'll invalidate you
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  right like that. They'll tell you straight up
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  they're not going to read it. Like for me as a diagnosed
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  narcissist, even to this day, if you said somebody sends me a
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  long paragraph or a long comment, I'll read the first
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  sentence and the last sentence, the gauge, the tone of it before
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  I decide to read anything else. And that's how you should do the
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  narcissist. Text you some long stuff, a long
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  ass e-mail, a long ass message. Read the first sentence if you
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  have to. If you're no contact, don't read
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  it. But if you have, like if you
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  were still, if you had the Co parent or something like that,
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  skim for your kids names, skim the first sentence and the last
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  sentence to gauge the tone because you don't want to read
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  all that message out. A lot of times they, they, the
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  longer the message, the more BS they're sending you.
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  You know what I'm saying? They're they're trying to fill
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  up the message. They're trying to fill up the
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  meat and bones of the message with a lot of crap.
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  You know what I mean? With a lot of crap, with a lot
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  of BS. And that's where they go with
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  it. Y'all, that's really, that's
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  literally it right there. They just want to keep you on
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  this type, keep you on this path, keep doing the same thing
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  over and over again because again, y'all, they think the
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  longer your message me is, the more that you care.
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  So that's why they send you long messages.
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  And sometimes that's why. But again, they'll be dismissive
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  of yours and try to make you feel like you need to be.
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  You need to be all there. You're all in for their messages
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  and things like that, y'all. But anyways, y'all, thank you
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  for tuning in to another episode, y'all.
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  If you don't, if you haven't already, hit that subscribe
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  button. Y'all please.
• 12:32
  My I'm launching my new podcast at the beginning of the year.
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  It's called the Mental Illness podcast.
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  It's going to be available everywhere.
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  I'm talking. I'm talking about all things
• 12:41
  mental health, not just narcissism, y'all.
• 12:42
  If y'all want to be on the show, got my e-mail.
• 12:44
  You find my e-mail at mentalillness.net and all the
• 12:48
  other good stuff. Y'all make sure you subscribe.
• 12:49
  And as always, y'all, as always, thank you so much for making it
• 12:54
  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you.
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel helps reach more
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  people and click on the screen to watch another video or to
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  browse to another playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 13:08
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 13:10
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video.