Latest / Your Thoughts Your Reality / Your Next Era Starts Now: How to Lead Yourself and Stop Living on Autopilot with Tina Parker

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Your Next Era Starts Now: How to Lead Yourself and Stop Living on Autopilot with Tina Parker · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that signs to put passionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Michael is a dual elite certified neuroencoding specialist in posting and keynote training presentations, dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles, procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and more.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, hello, everybody.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Today we have one of my favorite guests.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I believe Tina is the most been on the on the show the most on the podcast, and we're absolutely lucky to have her back again today.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So Tina is a retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel and transformational coach who helps people shift from reactivity into intentional, empowered living.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: After leading at high levels, and the military is now focused on helping individuals lead themselves with clarity, ownership, and purpose, which who doesn't need that in the world.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Her work centers on reclaiming personal power through awareness, choice, which is super important, and small, meaningful micro moments.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: She guides people from feeling stuck or uncertain in the confidence direction and forward movement.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, she has multiple frameworks.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to talk about that.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: One is fly, she has lead yourself.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Tina teaches also how to lead from within before trying to change anything externally.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I promise you something, if you're not in an in integrity and leading from inside, you're missing the boat.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome, Tina.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you tell us just a little bit more about yourself for people that don't know you yet?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Mike, so much for having me on again.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's just these conversations, we never know where they're gonna go.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: And they always go in such a great place.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm just excited to be back because, as you said, yes, I did 23 years in the Air Force, retired as a lieutenant colonel, have also been a director of operations for Homeland Security, started my own company, worked in corporate.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: So kind of the whole gamut, right?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: And what I noticed for a lot of people and for myself, honestly, throughout that whole trajectory is if you were in a leadership position, you're taught to lead other people, right?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: We're always taught how to manage things, how to lead other people.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: But very few times in my career was I was it ever mentioned like, how do you lead yourself well so that you can lead others, so that you show up in your full capacity and your full energy and presence, right?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I had a fly, I had a fly that I'm sorry, I'm not losing my mind.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: I apologize.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: But I mean, instead of just being, you know, swapped around by all the external things that are happening, because the world is a little nuts.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like, let's be honest, things are changing fast, it's very uncertain.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: We're like, what's gonna happen tomorrow?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: And all of that causes this level of anxiety in people.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: And because change is hard, like, even good change is like, wait, I don't know what's gonna happen after this, so it's a little unsure.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so leading ourselves right now is the pinnacle of what is needed in the world.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: I love I love the way you said that.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so let's talk about flies.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_03: You know, just flies, flies flying around your head.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so you know, you know, if we can, you know, you've led at a high level in the military.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm curious if you can share, you know, how did this shape the way you think about leadership today?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: Hmm, such a good question.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and as your viewers and your listeners know, if they're military, you move around different jobs every couple of years, right?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know a single person in the military who's had the same exact job their whole career.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's just not what we do.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so whenever you come into a new space, there's always new possibility, and there's always what has come before you that you are stepping into.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so, and I feel like that's really a reflection of what we're going through in the world right now.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: Because for a long time in the world, it's kind of been like the status quo.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: We're doing the thing, we're building companies, we're growing, like the world's going fine.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: And then all of a sudden, like let's look at the last couple of years, five, six years, it's kind of been turned upside down in a lot of different ways.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so when we look at that, it's like, okay, there's all this that has come before that.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: There's where we are right now in this state of a bit of uncertainty, like the world changing faster than many of us feel like we can keep up with.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: And then there's the okay, now what gets to come next?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: Not just like, okay, now what's gonna happen to me and I gotta deal with it and put up no, how do we now co-create and shape where we want to take ourselves, our communities, our organizations, the world at large, right?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: As a collective.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I think being in the military, that became pretty evident to me because every time I'd move into a new position, all of that was there.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: And so, and then you get to come in and go, okay, as a leader, and let me just be clear, I am not saying you have some position or title.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: As a person who has influence on yourself and others at any given moment of the day, like that's my definition of leadership, kind of means we're all leaders, right?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: We're we're all in the boat, right?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so if you are going to lead your life and create the conditions for others to lead their lives in a in a good direction, well, then you need to be able to be really present with yourself, kind of get out, get yourself out of this fight, flight, freeze kind of scenario that we find ourselves in a lot now.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so as we talk through kind of what you said, uh some frameworks that I walk people through, I I call this framework the genius codes because whenever we're in a transition, right?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: Transition are hard.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: Transitions mean something's changing and something has to transform in us.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I will share, there's a couple of things that I noticed working with is I work with a lot of different folks, but especially in my women's community, the Visionary Women's Alliance.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: I found that this kind of pattern plays out kind of in the messy background.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like people are like, what the heck is going on?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what's happening.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: There is a pattern that comes out as we're moving through in if we're doing it intentionally.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: If we're showing up going, hey, I want to intentionally create my future, then we naturally need to go through these five steps.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's rewire, and that's the calming of our nervous system, right?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: So we can shift from this whole reactive place that we're in into a place of presence and creativity.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: I love that you say that.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And let's talk about that just one second.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: So so when you are operating from reaction, right?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because people don't realize they're they're just in the spin cycle, you know, and they're that it can be minor, it can be days, weeks, years, you know.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it just depends on, you know, when you're there.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're operating from reaction instead of intention, how and we've talked about this before, but I'd like to just do a quick refresh.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: How do people realize it?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, give me just that one quick tip on moving forward for me.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: Sure, sure.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: So it we can't just keep going, going, going, right?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: So this is where people are like, I gotta do the next thing, I gotta get on to the next thing, and we just find ourselves in the on the hamster wheel, really, right?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: And we're not really noticing how do I feel in this moment?
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: What's actually happening around me?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: What are the ripple effects that could come from the way that I am showing up, right?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: We get so fixated on what's happening outside of me, what's happening around me.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: So it's asking ourselves the question, like kind of pausing, right?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: We've talked about that before.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: The pause.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: Go, wait, hold up.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: Let me take a pause and oh my god, that I should actually breathe, like a real breath, not just in you know, in the background.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: Pause and breathe and ask yourself, notice, hey, what is actually happening here?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Do I feel aligned with where I'm going?
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: Or am I just am I just getting stuck in expectations and obligations and all these other things, conditioning, right?
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: And then notice that if you're in alignment, if you're not, then you get to choose.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: And this is where, and you said in the beginning, choice is really important, right?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: We can get stuck in this notion of everything is happening to me, to me, right?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: I'm getting stuck in all this stuff.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have a choice, I have to do all these things.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: No, you really don't.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: You might not want the consequences that come from making a different choice, right?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: But that is that is your choice.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: You either choose to stay where you are, or you choose to go, okay, I'm going to be open and curious and just see what happens.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's a choice and it's a way, it's a choice and a way of being.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we always get stuck on how do I choose what's the next thing to do?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, stop.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: Don't do that next thing until you have come into your own self and restored your connection to who you are and what you really want and what works for you and what doesn't.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: And we're not cookie cutter robots, not everything works for everybody.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so that actually is the second genius code is restore that connection to yourself so that when you choose to take a step forward, you know it's in alignment with you and not out of some obligation that you've been conditioned to feel like you have to be or do.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: That I I love that my flight came back, sorry.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um he just wants to be in the whole energy of any podcast.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if anybody's seeing it.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just playing around.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna have my team like zoom in on it and do a post.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not crazy.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: So uh with that, with that said, I love I love what you you know talked about there.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And and you you need to to to choose, and then here's the reframe, right?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Said if I have to, let's I get to.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_03: I get to.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Can we can we create some excited anticipation for it instead of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it changes the game in an instant when you change the work.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_03: So excellent, excellent.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: So so once you're there, and and we're gonna start talking about your next era, right?
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's what this this show is all about, which is super exciting.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: So if you can really quick, let's can we can we talk about you, for instance, and maybe a a a darker area that you're in, because you know how we are.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: We want to we want to show people the darkness because that's where a lot of people are, and then we crack the light, and once, once the crack of the light is there, there's no the the you can see, right?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: And you can move toward move towards the light, Caroline.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: Our 1980s people are like, oh, I remember that.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: So can we can we go through that just for a second, just kind of your story in a sense, because I I know your story, and we don't need to go through all of it, but just to show a glimpse of your journey, to show how it's done in a sense.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I and and then interestingly, this whole process of the transformation and the transition, excuse me.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's always everything we do is always born out of our own experience first, right?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so for me, that was my experience too.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: I we'll we'll just start in like 2020 when the pandemic hit, right?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: I was working for AFWorks, the Air Force Innovation Catalyst, and our whole charge was to do things differently.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: So naturally, you know, my entrepreneurial spirit inside of myself that was inside the box of the government, right, was like, yes, let's do that.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: And so, in that being in that community and really seeing what becomes possible when we can think differently, when we can bring different ideas to the table, right, and really create what gets to come next.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like what is that, what does this next era look like really sparked that creativity and entrepreneurial spirit back in me.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's always been there, but I think over time, and and I think a lot of people can resonate with this, we sort of dim this light in ourselves, right?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: We go, oh, well, that's not practical, that's not realistic.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like I can't blow up my whole life and leave and go chase my dream, right?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: And so we kind of just slowly get ourselves stuck in patterns that don't light us up anymore.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: And we wonder, why does my life suck right now?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, everything looks fine, but inside I don't feel fulfilled.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: I don't feel like I'm making the contribution that's right for me, even if it's a good contribution, right?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_02: And that's where I found myself after that, because that segment ended in my career.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_02: I went back to doing Homeland Security and just a standard reservist in the Air Force, and which is great, good contributions, but I had to sit with myself and go, what is this restlessness that I am feeling?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: And it was, I'm not living totally in alignment with what I know I am meant to bring into the world.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: That's why I call the transition the genius codes, because it is part of bringing our genius forward in only the way that we can because of our own lived experiences, right?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: We're each individuals.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm reminded, and you know this, I won't go into long detail, but like a decade before this epiphany happened, my body pretty much was telling me, you're done.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: This is not, you're not working in alignment, right?
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: Through a whole bunch of health issues, through a divorce, through a whole bunch of things that happened, it's like your life is not in alignment.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: You need to start figuring out for yourself, like, what is it that you want to bring forward?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: Who do you want to be in this world?
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so when 2020 came, ended, the AFWorks opportunity ended, I really sat with myself and I said, okay, if I was going to bring anything into the world, and I don't have to know how it's gonna happen, right?
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: But what what would I wanna, what would I want to help people with?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that's where lead outside the lines came.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: It was literally on sitting on my couch, this like bing download came out at the ceiling.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like it was like, it is time for people to lead, to live and lead.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's not just lead, it's living and leading differently in alignment with who you are, how you operate, what's important to you.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: Open yourself up to possibilities that you can't currently see, right?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: And we can't do that when we're operating from the old frameworks that we've been conditioned in.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm glad you brought that up.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about some frameworks.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about the frameworks for the next era, literally sitting here thinking that's what we should talk about next.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: We're halfway through, let's talk about that.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so so you know, again, there's everybody has those moments, right?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: I can go back 54 years old.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oops, I'll let it out of the bag, right?
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: You go back and you look and you have these moments in your life.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: And and I I asked my audience to do this just for a second before we move on.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Look at the things that the transitions, right?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you be a military or high achievers or whatever, everybody goes through transitions of their lives.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: And some of the most impactful transitions when you're in that state of suck, if you will, and you're going, I gotta change something, or you're forced to change something, or whatever, and that window closes, you know, the garage door or whatever the case may be generally opens.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: And if you if you lead you know yourself and people around you, all those things, what happens?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Something better generally happens if you do not go to victim mode and you lean into it and then move forward, right?
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Just one foot in front of the other and move forward.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: So let's let's just for a second, because I can go back and there's probably 25 different ones, but probably three or four major life changes.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: So go back just for a second and just think about that.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Just think about one.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Find one that was like, oh my god, my life is over.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what I'm gonna do.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: But then something happened in another job opportunity, or you met somebody that introduced you to somebody else, or you know, in a relationship.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: There's all kinds of possibilities there, but just think about that for a second because the darkness is there, life be life in my friends, right?
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: Less brown, and there's usually that crack of the light that opens up, dang it.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or a fly that comes in anyway.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um I almost did it a second ago, but didn't want to bang on the gas.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: But think about that just for a second, and then think about where the crack of the light came from, right?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is what we're gonna talk about now.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: The frameworks can move forward again, whether you're a veteran, high achiever, family member, human being, whatever it is, it all applies.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, Tina, if we can, let's go ahead and start that, if we will.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: And the light always comes, right?
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: This this is something like we get stuck in our stuff, right?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: And we can go, oh, it's over, it's never gonna change.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, hun, you're not dead.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: So if you are still breathing and like living, anything can change, right?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: And the light will come, and you have to, you have to rewrite your story about who you are and how you function and what's available to you, right?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's code number three.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: So we've talked about the rewiring, like getting ourselves grounded in our own nervous system so we're not spinning out, right?
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: Re restoring our connection to our own inner wisdom.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: There is so much lived experience in each one of us that we discount because I was just living my life, right?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, while you were doing that, you were just downloading and gaining so much wisdom and knowledge that you really can bring for the world needs in your unique way, right?
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_02: And then the third is the rewiring or rewriting, rewriting your narrative about who you are, how you function, what's possible for you in the world, right?
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: And and for women, I will say specifically, and the Institute of Woman-centered coaching supports this, shows that for women, we usually can only connect to about half of what is really available to us in the world.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: A lot is it because of conditioning through growing up, like you have to show up this way, don't be unrealistic, stop being a dreamer.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: And and that applies to men too.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: However, women internalize it in different ways, right?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: Which will stop us from really opening ourselves up to what is really possible for me here.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's where people like you and me, Mike, with our coaching comes in because we can see what's available because we're not inside the box, right?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: You can't you can't read the ingredients of your cereal box if you're inside of it.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I absolutely love that, Tina.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_02: So we're the ones that are like, hey, we're gonna sit outside the box and we're gonna see what all is here that you can't see, right?
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: And then help you to rewire yourself, restore yourself, rewrite what is possible for you.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: And then the fourth one is reconnecting to your authentic power.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, your inner authority, your ability to make decisions for yourself in alignment with all the things we just talked about, right?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: Not the expectations, not the achiever identity.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: So we want to talk about part of the framework shift in rewire.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's about calming ourselves.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: Then when we get to rewrite and reconnecting to our authentic power, it is shifting from this achiever identity that a lot of leaders and people that are highly accomplished, right, have found themselves in is I have to get it right, I have to do it this way, I can't let anybody down, I need to belong to be accepted, like all the things.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: And we start, we start molding ourselves to fit that little tiny box, and we cut ourselves off from other opportunities.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: So part of this work is the inner work to shift out of the achiever identity, because it's really what it is, it's how we see ourselves, it is, and shift into creator identity.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: Because that, oh man, creator identity, you're still bringing all that you've learned in your life with you, right?
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: We're not leaving, you're not just like blowing your life up and starting from scratch, but we're shifting the energy behind and the the decision making behind what do you really want to bring forward?
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's bringing the aliveness in, right?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_02: It's bringing your genius forward so you can create.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: Create whatever it is that you want.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: And how exciting is that?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: How exciting is that?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I'm going to just chime in here really quick.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: When you do that, celebrate it, pat yourself on the back, dance, you know, all those things.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: There you go, just like Tina.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to do it, but just like Tina.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: But when you do that, it literally changes your nervous system.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: It creates new neural pathways, strengthens them into what you're looking forward to, not all of the, let's call it, the shit that we get stuck in, right?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: The doom and gloom, and I'm stuck here.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: All of it, all of it, and all of the doubt, right?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: That we as human beings and our brain naturally do to change or protect us, I should say.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Look for the look for the positive change.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's not, it's science, it's not rainbows and crystals and unicorns, as Justin McClendon always says, right?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's a game change.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: So uh please, you know, when you get there and you get that excitement, anchor that in and be excited about it.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because you are changing neural pathways, right?
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: This entire process, you do it this way so that you can rewire your brain, you can rewire your nervous system, you can rewire your identity of what is possible for you.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: And that doesn't happen overnight, right?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of people they want the magic pill, and I get it.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like I would be a billionaire if I could just like put all this in a little capsule and go, here you go, you're good.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: But that's not the way it works.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: However, old you are is however many years you have of working in this way.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's like, wait, no, no, but it's not as hard as we think it is, though.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: We make it out to be so hard, and I'm like, gosh, I can't do that, and I'm just stuck.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, no, it's actually fun.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if you do it in the right way with the right people, now let me be clear about this.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: You can read all the books that you want, you can watch all the videos that you want.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_02: But if you are not in a community of people or working with someone who can help you to see what you can't currently see, who can help amplify your genius that you don't yet feel comfortable stepping into, who can help you see possibilities and connections that just because you have a different lived experience, you're not gonna see, right?
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: You have to be in community like that.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: You cannot, this is what Claire Zamet says, Dr.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: Claire Zamet with the Institute of Women's Center Coaching.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: You cannot become yourself by yourself.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: When I heard that, I'm like, she's so right.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like there are so many things I would never have attempted to do if I just sat by myself and thought through it.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: Because what happens?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: That inner critic comes in, yeah, right?
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, oh, you can't do that.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, see, there you go, dreaming again.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, who do you think you are?
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_02: Who's gonna listen to you?
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: You're not some expert, you're not Tony Robbins.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like, come on, get real, right?
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so we have to surround ourselves.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_02: I just saw Dorothy put up a comment.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: We do, we have to surround ourselves with the people who can not just support us, but amplify us because and we amplify them.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: It is like the cyclical beauty that happens.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like in my community, one of my my my folks in the visionary women's alliance, she's like, the magic is in the community.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to add to that really quick.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: It is you you are if you are not in a community and have support and give support, all of that stuff.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, it makes it a lot more fun, right?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: But you you go from a four percent chance of making permanent change from a 93% chance of making permanent change.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's astounding difference.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is and I've seen this in in my communities and you know, with with what we do, and I know you have as well.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's just absolutely a game changer.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for bringing that up.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and and so just to round this out, like genius code number five, right?
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: It is oh Aaron! Oh my gosh, Erin's the one that said that.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, Aaron, good to see you.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: I just love, I just love when everybody still comes together.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_02: It's so cool.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: I love, and please continue, you know, people that are watching, we don't get all of the messages here in the studio because we're on so many different platforms, but please continue to be part of the part of the conversation.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: Please do when we see it pop up.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like I love to just go, oh my gosh, that's so great.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: But so the just to round it out though, the fifth, not the first, the fifth and final genius code is rebuild.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: Rebuilding your pathway forward in alignment with all the things that we've just talked about, right?
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: And this is the fallacy.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: People want to go straight to what do I do?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: What am I supposed to be doing?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's the rebuild part.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, how can you even answer that question if you haven't done this other prep work?
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: Because and and you can't answer it, but you will be answering it from other people's expectations, obligations and guilt from conditioning in your past that most likely is not actually who you truly are, but it's how you learned how to cope in the world.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: So if you want to continue functioning in the same way, recreating the same patterns, just in a different environment, great, start there and just go and do it.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: But if you know that you are meant for something more different, something that's more true to you, then you have to do this other work before you start building, or else you're building a house on quicksand.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: Let me say that.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: So it and I'm just gonna say this as well is when you don't do the work, and and the work, yeah, there's there's work.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: You don't go to the gym and come out the next day by looking like an sports nigger, right?
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not gonna happen.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_02: Unfortunately, that's just not the way it works.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, look at look at Rocky Balboa, okay?
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: How how much did he work just to get to the fight, right?
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: Right, exactly.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so you know, Adrian, let's do it.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: So so with that said, you know, if we can, let's let's kind of close out the show with uh once you kind of know what, and we've talked about this a little bit, but I just want to do a little bit more.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your your your integrity, you know what you want, you want that fulfillment, all of those things.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: What's that first step to take that action?
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because we know we can listen to all the podcasts and we can do all the different things, but if we do not take action from it and we just keep listening and listening and listening, nothing changes, right?
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: So listen to the podcast, read the book, but take the action before you move to the next thing.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Just for a day, just for whatever it needs to be, but just take action because that's what's happening in society now.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: We're taking all this information in, and all we're doing is getting more stressed out, overwhelmed, and anxious because we're not actually moving forward.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: And the progress is what creates that fulfillment.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: So if you can, give me a quick thought on that.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: So my thought on that is yes, take action.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: However, make sure it's aligned action.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_02: That means you have to pause before you just go out there with the bulldozer, right?
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_02: Pause and again reconnect with why is this important to me?
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: How do what do I want to be experiencing?
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: This is a big question, and I hope you all will listen to this if you've heard nothing else for the whole half hour.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_02: Is the question you ask yourself is not what do I do next?
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: It's how do I want to be experiencing life?
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: Love it.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: Then you can go, is that thing that I was gonna take next or do next, is that gonna help me experience life in this way?
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_02: And if the answer is like, no, I'm just gonna recreate the same depletion cycle I feel like I'm in now, then that's not your aligned action.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: And you get to go back and go, okay, what is?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_03: Love it, right?
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_02: We always want to get stuck in do the thing.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, no, connect to yourself, then decide what you want to do.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, absolutely love it.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to say, hey, Brenda, she's been a guest on here multiple times, fantastic woman.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to say hi and of course Susan as well.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I just wanted to call out everybody that's been playing with us today.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: So absolutely fantastic.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that said, uh, I know my dear friend, you have a new podcast.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: Drop some info on that, please.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_02: So, my new podcast, I think we are dropping episode eight on Monday, right?
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: So you can still get in on the ground floor and hear all of it.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's called Your Next Era.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: And it is specifically about what we're talking about today.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_02: How do you create your next era in alignment with who you are and what you really want to contribute in the world?
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_02: And that is very different than just showing up and checking the boxes that you might have been doing up until now.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's on Apple, it's on Spotify.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_02: I really encourage folks to go and take a listen.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_02: Each episode is less than 20 minutes because I know y'all are busy people.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: So you can just listen in the car, listen while you're taking the dog on a walk, right?
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_02: And and it does walk you through some of what we've talked about here.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how do you put this into action for yourself?
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_02: So love for all of you to take that in and apply it however it works for you.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: And for people that are, and it's fantastic, by the way.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so proud of you and so happy you've done it.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's fantastic.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: I I'd like for if you can, for people that are serious about making change, right?
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna do this specifically because you know, Tina, your main focus is you know, women in leadership and and those kinds of things.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: How do people reach out to you that are hey, I'm ready for change now?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: Tina speaks to me.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: How do I how do people reach you?
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I scotch chills.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, oh, who's fuss?
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I am on LinkedIn under TP Sunshine.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: You can find me there, TP Sunshine on LinkedIn.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: Also, leadoutside lines.com is the website.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_02: If you're you're listening to the podcast, the show notes will have information for our Visionary Women's Alliance.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_02: So if it's speaking to you as a woman in transition, like it's usually midlife transition, right?
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: High, highly accomplished women who are ready to live and lead differently, those are the women we attract.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: And let me tell you guys, the women in the VWA are top-notch.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: We are like, I say we because I'm part of it too, right?
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_02: We're all together.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: But it is just an amazing group of women who amplify each other and really help each other connect to what is possible for us.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_02: And so if if that's something that speaks to you, check the show notes out in the podcast and come join us.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely love it.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going over just so you know, but not.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: I know we always do.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: We can't help, but there's too much good stuff.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, can you give us our three tips to get veterans and high achievers and of course their families for their masterblock?
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_02: So the three tips I have for you today are rewire your nervous system.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, get yourself whatever you need to do.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_02: And trust me, breath work, yoga, counting, all EFT tapping, like questions you ask yourself, mindfulness, meditation.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_02: There's so many things, right?
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to choose one.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_02: Find what works for you and find what you need to get yourself grounded and back to a space where your full capacity, look, I look like I'm crazy.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: Your full capacity can come back online, right?
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_02: So that's the first thing.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_02: The second is reconnect to yourself.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_02: What do you truly want in this life?
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: You've got one chance at this, y'all.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_02: Let's do it the way we want to do it.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_02: Reconnect to yourself.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_02: Really know what it is that you want to bring forward.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_02: And if you don't know, that's okay.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_02: Just say, what is that experience I want?
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_02: And then go out and take action in alignment with that, with courage and authenticity.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: And you will be amazed at what shifts in your life.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely love it.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: Fantastic as always, my dear friend.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just fantastic.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's all I got.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me on.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I just love coming on to this show, everything that you're doing for veterans and all listeners, right?
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: Not just veterans, but people who are really in this place of hey, I want to change, I want to bring something forward for myself and change the way I think so that I can change my reality, your thoughts, your reality.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_02: So thanks for all you're doing too, Mike.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_02: Appreciate it.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: I uh it is absolutely a privilege to serve those who have served for sure.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: So uh, with that said, uh, Tina, you know, time is the most precious resource we have as human beings.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: We don't get it back.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you again for doing this with us and and really sharing your your your light, your information, and all the things you bring to this world because the world is a different place because of you.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for your time again.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_02: I feel the same, my friend.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: And with that said, I just want to just kind of close out with if we brought you value today, please go to your thoughtsyreality.com and join our our community, if you will, because there's so much more great, amazing information there and information we're bringing out.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, go to uh our YouTube channel and subscribe and so you get all the all the amazing guests that come on.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: So please do that.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: It helps us grow our mission and bring on you know more guests and all that stuff as well.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: So please join them.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, with that said, Tina Parker, I think we're out of here.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: We're out.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of Your Thoughts, your reality podcast with your host, Michael Cole.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: We hope the conversation sparks some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empower performance strategies.com.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, your thoughts create your reality, so make them out.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, stay inspired and to keep creating the reality you designed.