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Transcript

Colbert's Last Show · Scott & Ally on Demand

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Let's do a little bit of a catch-up just for folks that are trying to, you know, understand what's going on here.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: So uh we discovered this morning uh before the show started that our texting feature in our app, which is the primary way that most of you shoot us a message and and interact with the with the show, because we get it, you're busy, you're doing things.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, w it's easy to shoot us a text message and just be like, oh, this is my comment to what you're talking about.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Well, somehow that is not working at the moment.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: And um But we have an alternative thing that you can do is you can DM us on either our Instagram, our TikTok, or our Facebook.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really really going through some withdrawal without 3386 having given me a proper put down this morning.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I I can't even request one now.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know if if 3386 is even on Instagram or any other media.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, maybe.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not really sure.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's sort of it's sort of heartbreaking that it's not there right now.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: But boy, am I glad that uh Heather's husband Dan sent me the 23rd I hate Trump video on Facebook today.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know youather make him stop.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: I can't take it anymore.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Why didn't you just tell him yourself?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because I don't want to be mean.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, sometimes.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even mean, but he's listening right now and I'm Sometimes they're funny when it's one a month.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: When it's 16 a day, I know where you stand, and also at the same time, I ain't got a chance to read them all or watch them all.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like I Oh my god, do you watch do you laugh at anything other than people doing the AI funny, you know, make fun of politicians?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, says the man who sends the worst TikToks ever.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you send a song to your friend about pooping your pants that sounds like an old timey 60s song.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's gold.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, Scott, is your your nuggets are very rare that you send a good one.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Very rare.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I will always so in Vegas, I was having a couple cocktails after the No Doubt show at our resort.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I was by myself by the pool, and I'm like, what else am I gonna do?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just drinking Tito's, sending reels to everyone, sending TikToks to everyone.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: The next day, Zach was like, You literally sent me 19 reels.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Yeah, and all of them are funnier about how much I love you.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: So shut up! So shut up.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love it.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody just sent us a message, by the way.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, it just lit up on my phone.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't see the message, but I got the notification.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, here it is.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, got it.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is from B Bree G.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Breegee! Breegee, good everyone, happy Thursday.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank God.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we were also saying that we wish it was Friday.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: I think everybody sort of wishes it was Friday at this point.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, just start this weekend.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Play the Colbert thing.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so Colbert wrapped up his show last night.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he did it very classy.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'll uh I'll give you the uh clip of in, I mean, you may not have been up, so.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Could you describe the rest of your life in five words?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: My family, my friends, fun.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: Who's interviewing him?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: God bless you.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: Stephen Colbert, you are known.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: Stephen Colbert, everybody.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so there you go.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, little note there.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: The stars were Billy Crystal, Weird Al Yankovic, uh Josh Rowan.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you missed this the other day.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: I was just talking about Weird Al.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I heard you talk about this.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Interesting last guest, Weird Al.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you, there's something about Tiffany Daniels, Tiffany Haddish.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, the list goes on and on, my God.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, Jeff Daniels.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's an interesting choice, too.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if like stiller.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, Pedro Pascal was on this week.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if he specifically selected those to be his last ones.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because did you say Tiffany Haddish?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a huge Tiffany Haddish fan myself.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Not that I like go goo goo over Jeff Daniels, though, either.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I wonder if it just was whatever their schedule was that they could figure out, or if Steve.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Or did he specifically say, I'm really close with Jeff Daniels.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: I want Jeff Daniels on my last show.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you connect with certain guests and you're like, oh, this would be cool.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'd like to have the Pharaoh with the either way, his farewell done very classy.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: Not every single farewell is quite as classy.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'll explain in just a couple seconds because I also have a clip of what one lady did leaving her job.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I could have witnessed it firsthand.