Latest / Is Your Way In Your Way? / The Transformative Power of Personal Narratives

Transcript

The Transformative Power of Personal Narratives · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: Welcome to Is Your Way In your Way podcast and, as many of you are aware, that's actually the name of my book Is your Way In your Way, and it's a self-discovery guide for individuals to help them restore yourself, learn from your experiences and be your true self.
0:41
Cassandra: For those new listeners, which I know I have some on and uncertain to what this podcast is all about what I would call mitigating self imposed barriers that will support you in getting unstuck.
0:58
Cassandra: For example, many of you want to be an author.
1:01
Cassandra: You want to write a book.
1:02
Cassandra: You want to change jobs.
1:04
Cassandra: You want to move.
1:05
Cassandra: You want to get out of a relationship or relationship not good for you.
1:07
Cassandra: You want to get out of a bad relationship or relationship that you know that's not good for you.
1:10
Cassandra: You want to make more money.
1:11
Cassandra: It's just a gamut of things that you want to do, but you're not.
1:15
Cassandra: You've not done it yet.
1:16
Cassandra: I don't know whether you're not sick and tired of yet and want to make a move.
1:21
Cassandra: I'm not certain, but we talk about topics related to personal development on here and business development, and also it will enable you to do some self-reflection, and I always say that.
1:34
Cassandra: I always say and I hope that something said on this podcast will give you like an aha moment and say, okay, that because of what was said here, I'm going to make it happen and I'm going to take action and take my first step.
1:49
Cassandra: But who better to talk to us about that is my special guest, stephanie Fee, and our title today is Enjoying the Process of Bringing your Narrative to Life.
2:00
Cassandra: And let me introduce her.
2:02
Cassandra: Well, hello, stephanie, how are you today?
2:05
Stephanie: Hello, I'm great, I'm happy to be here, and now that the music started and you're in, I'm all revved up.
2:14
Cassandra: Great, yeah, I'm happy you're here too, because, guess what, a lot of my listeners want to write a book, and I always hear about individuals that want to write a book, so we're going to talk about that as well.
2:25
Cassandra: I'm going to read your bio a bit, just so they can get to know you a little bit before we delve into what our conversation is going to be about today.
2:35
Cassandra: Now, Stephanie Fee is the visionary founder and developmental narrative artist behind the Wild Larynx, which is a platform dedicated to helping authors create wildly authentic and impactful stories.
2:53
Cassandra: As a ghostwriter and a storyteller, stephanie partners with impact driven leaders and individuals, helping their books stand out in a world of over four million published works each year.
3:07
Cassandra: Publish works each year that's a lot.
3:12
Cassandra: With a focus on legacy and transformation, stephanie's work empowers her clients to share their most profound experiences crafting books and resonate deeply.
3:18
Cassandra: She highlights stories that inspire real change through the Wild Larynx and her podcast.
3:24
Cassandra: Her mission is to use the power of human intelligence to create books that impact the reader and the world.
3:42
Cassandra: I love that.
3:43
Cassandra: To impact the reader and the world that's phenomenal Sounds like a service to me as well when you want to impact not only the reader but the world as well.
3:53
Cassandra: So, Stephanie, tell us a little bit about your backstory and the reason that I'd like to know about that, because you talked about overcoming hardship as a child and you also talked about exploring modalities that heal and strengthen the human condition.
4:14
Cassandra: So I'm feeling that there was something that happened in your backstory that I would say that helped mold what you enjoy doing, perhaps.
4:25
Cassandra: So tell us about that.
4:40
Stephanie: So tell us about that yeah, there are.
4:41
Stephanie: There's a lot of my backstory that kind of unbeknownst to me led to this work that I'm doing now.
4:43
Stephanie: It didn't make sense of it all really until this work showed up in my life.
4:57
Cassandra: Work showed up in my life.
4:57
Stephanie: So, going back to childhood, the you know the the tough stuff was that I grew up in a family with a father who had layers of mental health issues, that there was, you know, violence, abuse in the home.
5:12
Stephanie: It was like walking on eggshells kind of experience as a kid.
5:19
Stephanie: Simultaneously, I had these loving people and influential people in my life my mother and particularly my two grandmothers, right.
5:35
Stephanie: So my grandmother is one of them.
5:39
Stephanie: She taught me to write, so she would sit down when I was just a little tiny kid and teach me how to write in cursive and you know, led into thank you notes and you know, and I really loved putting you know pencil at that time I was a little child, pencil to paper and my other grandma, she would tell me to read.
6:04
Stephanie: She was an Icelandic woman, very intellectual.
6:08
Stephanie: Just her family had come over from Iceland.
6:11
Stephanie: When she was a little girl she got polio.
6:13
Stephanie: She had like this range of experiences and what helped her was learning.
6:19
Stephanie: So read, read, read.
6:23
Stephanie: And she used to make us watch documentaries on on our heritage, the Viking heritage from her side and just this avid learner.
6:33
Stephanie: And she said if you can read, you can write, and if you can do that, you can make it through and do anything in this life.
6:43
Stephanie: So I thought about that always.
6:48
Cassandra: And.
6:49
Stephanie: I applied it in different ways from, you know, writing poetry and sending it, you know, to my mom when I was a little kid, or writing stories at school, but also in real world applications like getting my college degree.
7:05
Stephanie: I was funding my own education and working several jobs and going to school full time and I ran out of money and I didn't have enough money for the last couple of credits.
7:17
Stephanie: So I actually love this story because I wrote the dean of the school to explain to him what I had learned, what I you know that I really wanted to graduate and wrote a very compassionate, emotion driven but, like you know, that was appealing, right in a way that you would want to hear someone and help them.
7:38
Stephanie: And it was a couple credits, two or three, and he let me graduate and, yeah, so it was like this, this proof of like, if I can communicate specifically in writing, effectively, then I can be real, I can truly be heard, and that was the first way that I learned how to use my voice, which then, you know, was kind of like I would be, like I'm really good in writing and and why is there sort of friction in me when I go to?
8:13
Stephanie: You know, was kind of like I would be like I'm really good in writing and and why is there sort of friction in me when I go to you know to narrate?
8:17
Stephanie: And so that started really unfolding as I confronted, you know, the childhood experiences and winding all of that, all of that and and you know this is not a I did not plan to do this work, it came to me.
8:41
Cassandra: Yeah, complete surprise and it's been a real thrill.
8:43
Cassandra: So, yeah, you know something you said, even though you stated you knew you were a great writer.
8:51
Cassandra: But it sounded like, did you you having doubts about something, knowing that you were a good writer?
8:57
Cassandra: Um, and I'm calling it, maybe some limiting beliefs?
9:01
Cassandra: Maybe, um, and I'm curious, did you have anything, was anything you felt, even though your grandmother helped your other grandmother, she inspired you to read and you enjoyed the writing and, as I remember as a little girl, you knew your calling.
9:44
Cassandra: Your calling was to help others step into courage and let circumstances of self-doubt hold them back.
9:51
Cassandra: How did you know your calling at such a young age?
9:58
Stephanie: I think I was born with a courage gene.
10:02
Stephanie: I don't know where it came from, to be honest, because I'm far more sort of I'll take risks and step into things, even when I feel very uncomfortable and very scared.
10:14
Stephanie: I have this, I have this need to act, and I think it comes from a place of like.
10:19
Stephanie: I want to know, I want to know, I want to know if I'll if I'll do great or if I'll fail.
10:25
Stephanie: If I fail, what am I going to learn from it?
10:29
Stephanie: There's a whole lot of you know, things that I've had to confront along the way.
10:33
Stephanie: Uh, that self-doubt has come in more for me after I put something out into the world than interesting before, which is kind of interesting.
10:45
Stephanie: That is, um, and I never thought that I, and and still I don't even I don't think much about if I'm a talented writer or not.
10:55
Stephanie: I think more about how much I care and how deeply I invest in myself, in my clients, in the material, in the work, and to me, when you care deeply, you can write from that place, and when you write from that place, people like, feel something.
11:20
Stephanie: If you feel something, they'll feel something, so I go pretty deep.
11:24
Stephanie: I'm a very emotional human being you know I'm easily moved to tears and laughter and so I use that a lot, and it used to be.
11:39
Stephanie: That would probably be an area where I used to have a lot of self doubt, because being, you know, welling up with tears and showing vulnerability or emotion, even if I'm happy, I get you know.
11:53
Stephanie: if I'm touched, I get yeah it used to be like you know the comments of, oh, you're very emotional, or and I would take that in and really be like I wish that I could sit there and be like those men in business that you know I'm doing business with.
12:14
Stephanie: I wish I could be like this, this, this, this, this, and now that I embrace my emotional, like this is such a gift, you know, and, and so I'm really, I'm really invested in.
12:29
Stephanie: I'm really I'm really invested in in the emotion, in the feeling of everything that I do, yeah, and me.
12:38
Stephanie: Then that translates into value for, for others, and if it doesn't, it sure helps heal yourself yeah, exactly yeah, and and so you.
12:49
Cassandra: It's interesting.
12:50
Cassandra: You have courage, you're resilient.
12:54
Cassandra: What I'm hearing and, like you said, you're right, but after it's done, you like.
13:00
Cassandra: Then you start like I put too much out there, and that to me is vulnerability and authenticity, and a lot of times I think the world needs now is more authenticity.
13:12
Cassandra: They're looking for somebody that's real, because the emotions that you have never underestimate the emotions other people have.
13:19
Cassandra: They just don't tell the story.
13:21
Cassandra: You know, and I remember you saying that don't let good tragedy go to waste, right?
13:30
Cassandra: So?
13:30
Cassandra: And I'm curious to what are some ways to make the most of your existence by using that saying.
13:38
Stephanie: Yeah, I think that anything that comes up in life and I mean anything, and this was, you know, part of my own self-development journey my own self-development journey learning was embracing this idea that, no matter what comes my way, I'm going to learn from it and figure out how to create something better, because that thing happened.
14:04
Stephanie: How to repurpose, which has been sort of my mission this year, is like repurposing everything that doesn't work out into something you know, into something very, very useful.
14:18
Stephanie: It's like, you know, the lemons to lemonade thing.
14:21
Stephanie: Well, you're taking, you know, you're taking these experiences and you're making something, something better from them, and I think something, something better from them and I really think that is.
14:37
Stephanie: Those are the people that I love to watch.
14:38
Stephanie: You know, I love to just see those people who've been through so much more than I have yes and and go.
14:45
Stephanie: Wow, they are so inspiring and they show up and they, they put you know everything they got to the day they die into making something better out of out of a bad situation.
15:00
Cassandra: So would you mind sharing a story that inspires real change that you can think of?
15:09
Stephanie: Oh man, I mean, there are so many stories that I hear from my clients directly, right, because I get to work with these people who have done just what I said, probably without with being mindful of sort of protecting, you know, our privacy.
15:32
Stephanie: Um, you know, I have the first client who really just saw my gifts before I did, yeah, who brought her memoir to me and just asked I I had never written a memoir, but she uh, she liked something that I created, and her story is one that is truly like amazing to me.
16:04
Stephanie: She's uh gone through nearly every tragedy.
16:08
Stephanie: You know type of tragedy you can go through um from you know disengaging with um a certain religion to you know, divorce and cancer, um, she even went to jail and, uh, several children passing of, several children.
16:31
Stephanie: And she is the, she's a light, she helps people, uh, she helps people connect their mind, body and spirit and form at a really high level and she's just, she's just, uh, yeah, it's a bit difficult because it's hard, because I can't say the whole thing.
16:50
Stephanie: Yeah, I understand, I get to sit with those kinds of stories and, you know, help people process them again.
16:59
Stephanie: Yeah, and again and again.
17:02
Stephanie: And that's a healing for authors, even if you're writing a business book.
17:08
Stephanie: Yes, there's an opportunity to to heal, to process, to, um, and then to share, which is that, you know, oh my gosh, I'm sharing it with the world.
17:19
Stephanie: Exactly that's when it gets really good.
17:23
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, so that that that parlays with our title enjoying the process of bringing your narrative to life.
17:31
Cassandra: And I think about my listeners who are stuck and because of limiting beliefs.
17:38
Cassandra: You know they have those doubts, as you indicated.
17:41
Cassandra: Later on you will compare yourself and that's what a lot of people do like oh, that book was really great.
17:46
Cassandra: I don't think I could write like that.
17:48
Cassandra: Or I don't want to tell my story.
17:50
Cassandra: You know I don't want to tell my story because I'm ashamed, and you know I don't want to tell my story.
17:52
Cassandra: You know I don't want to tell my story because I'm ashamed, and you know I don't want to put all my stuff out there for people to listen to.
17:59
Cassandra: And you know, and that's something that I went through with my book, and it took me a while to write my book because I actually wanted to encourage individuals and empower women to start living their best life on their terms.
18:14
Cassandra: That was just so important to me for individuals not to transition and have regrets, and we all go through trauma, drama.
18:25
Cassandra: It's not anybody here that has not gone through something.
18:28
Cassandra: So I like it when you say enjoying the process of bringing your narrative to life, and that to me is courage.
18:35
Cassandra: You know and and you, you've been blessed with that gift to to help people and and that's why you talk about.
18:45
Cassandra: Don't let your tragedy go to waste.
18:49
Stephanie: That's right, because once you, when you so I would say like on a tactical level you know how do we do this, how do we get up to the points of writing a book and sharing it with the world.
19:00
Stephanie: Well, start really, really small and I mean that you know, divulge something, decide what.
19:07
Stephanie: What are you storing in your body?
19:08
Stephanie: What are you sort of hiding?
19:10
Stephanie: What are you like, ashamed to talk about?
19:14
Stephanie: What's there?
19:14
Stephanie: Identify that and I always talk about this as from stored to storied and choose a person who you trust, a person who you feel like doesn't judge you and if you don't know somebody like that, maybe a perfect stranger is the other Just tell them.
19:40
Stephanie: You know I did this.
19:44
Cassandra: Yes.
19:45
Stephanie: And see what happens in my experience and the people that I work with.
19:51
Stephanie: They come back to me and they say, amazing, this person opened up to me and told me one of their stored stories as well, and then we really connected and that's authenticity.
20:08
Stephanie: It doesn't mean that you have to share everything with everybody yes privacy is is something you know that's very sacred.
20:17
Stephanie: Exactly what it means is that you're not alone and you get to actually create deeper connections when you choose what you want to share and you choose it and you do and you go deep right.
20:35
Stephanie: You don't just surface level and those are those authentic connections.
20:40
Stephanie: So that's like a very micro and the joy that comes through with that connection.
20:46
Stephanie: It doesn't matter what the naysayers say eventually, because that connection is unbelievably like rejuvenating, regenerating and so such such a deep, you know the quality of the relationships are there.
21:06
Cassandra: Right.
21:10
Stephanie: You're always going to get people who judge and things like that.
21:18
Cassandra: But as you build those connections, the disconnections, the judgment.
21:21
Stephanie: It takes time, but it won't bother you as much, Right?
21:23
Stephanie: So I think that's how we practice in these small areas.
21:26
Stephanie: Imagine sharing that with you know, 100 people, 10,000 people, and the type of contagion that creates of like me.
21:39
Stephanie: You know, I felt that too.
21:43
Stephanie: I experienced something similar, I see my story in yours.
21:46
Stephanie: Yes, freeing me.
21:47
Cassandra: Exactly, exactly.
21:48
Cassandra: And, as you mentioned before, stephanie, you talked about healing and you know, like you indicated, people share their uttermost secrets, so to say, with you.
22:02
Cassandra: And I remember when I used to travel a lot and by flight, by plane, and every I don't care where I was sitting was like people would gravitate to me and tell me their whole life story and I said, hmm, I guess they're telling me this because they don't know me and they think they'll never see me again.
22:22
Cassandra: But that was very interesting because after some of them told me this, I feel so much better after sharing this and you, you know, you're better than my therapist I'm like, okay, well, that's really great.
22:33
Cassandra: But, like I say, everybody has a story.
22:38
Cassandra: And when I think about my listeners who are stuck, the things that they want to do maybe you just gave me a revelation Maybe they want to write a book, or they want to start a company.
22:49
Cassandra: Maybe they should write a journal.
22:50
Cassandra: I want to write, why do you want to do this?
22:52
Cassandra: Maybe they should write journal.
22:52
Cassandra: You know I want to write.
22:52
Cassandra: Why do you want to do this?
22:53
Cassandra: Well, what's stopping you?
22:55
Cassandra: You know, that's the innermost secret, that they can journal, and and that may be something to break the ice, I don't know.
23:02
Cassandra: But you're right, journaling is something that I like to do and that's something that you said you did.
23:09
Stephanie: You are right, yeah yes, um, I think there's different ways to journal as well.
23:19
Stephanie: So for me it's, you know, I'm less of like a follow the prompt and make sure and fill out three pages.
23:27
Stephanie: I've done like the artist's way, if you know that, and it's beautiful, it's wonderful.
23:31
Stephanie: But for me sometimes journaling is a bunch of scribbles and random thoughts and you know, or just a paragraph about something that I need to get out.
23:47
Stephanie: So I think even people get well, they've told me they get stopped up even journaling right, and so it's like to set yourself free.
23:57
Stephanie: I propose no rules on how you do something.
24:04
Stephanie: I think that part of the block there's the emotional block, but then there's these mental blocks of like I think I have to do it in this way, otherwise I won't do it at all Exactly.
24:16
Cassandra: And they don't.
24:18
Stephanie: Your way.
24:20
Stephanie: You don't have to do it anyway, but your way.
24:23
Cassandra: But your way.
24:24
Stephanie: Right the same as far as I'm concerned with the book you write.
24:29
Cassandra: Right Is your way in your way, exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:33
Cassandra: Something else I found fascinating is you're a certified master health coach, nutrition coach, sleep, stress management and recovery coach.
24:46
Cassandra: Now that's a lot.
24:47
Cassandra: Now, is all of that inclusive of the work that you're doing being a ghostwriter?
24:54
Stephanie: yeah, well, I, I infuse it in different ways.
24:56
Stephanie: So I check in with clients because, uh, I'm big on harnessing our human intelligence.
25:03
Stephanie: So, okay, care of our physical bodies so that we can receive, we can actually be open to.
25:09
Stephanie: You know the messages that we get in our sleep.
25:14
Stephanie: You know we conjure up all sorts of narratives.
25:19
Stephanie: Right, our creativity.
25:20
Stephanie: Creativity is not for just me or you.
25:24
Stephanie: This is a human innate type of intelligence.
25:28
Stephanie: But how does it come through if we're stressed and tense?
25:32
Stephanie: And you know and I work with a lot of entrepreneurs and executives and people who have a lot of success and a lot of busyness you know they're very busy.
25:42
Stephanie: One thing that is super important, and that you know we build boundaries around, is there's no stress in this book.
25:52
Stephanie: The stress does not touch the book.
25:56
Stephanie: And so you check in, how was the week, where are you at, you know, with your, are you taking care of yourself, how's your sleep?
26:04
Stephanie: Those kinds of check-ins.
26:06
Stephanie: Because if I'm doing the ghostwriting, I blend my services depending on how much somebody wants to write.
26:14
Stephanie: So if I'm doing all the writing, it doesn't matter.
26:16
Stephanie: They still narrate to me, they still create with me, the author and I am their collaborator.
26:24
Stephanie: If there's stress, that energy sorry, it gets into the process, it gets into the book.
26:33
Stephanie: No way you want to have this thing that, at the end of the day, represents the best experience of your life.
26:41
Cassandra: That's right, your best self.
26:43
Stephanie: Yeah, and if you force it and you're trying to force it out that it's going to sound that way.
26:51
Cassandra: Right, I'd like to hear your take on.
26:54
Cassandra: You talked about authenticity and boldness and storytelling helps people understand one another, and you said that you think where our history is today, that that's very relevant in today, and so I hear you say what, what does it mean to you to live authentically and why do you believe authenticity and boldness and storytelling helps understand one another in a more meaningful light?
27:32
Stephanie: Yeah, I do think that it's our primary need right now.
27:36
Stephanie: You know, aside from a healthier, uh, healthier, happier existence, is this it's all connected, right is this ability to take the time to listen and understand, and be curious, and, uh, and, and not, and not attack people or, you know, go off of um.
28:01
Stephanie: You know, you know there's just a lot of, a lot of narrative war.
28:07
Cassandra: You know and.
28:08
Stephanie: I'm all about narrative art and so what?
28:13
Stephanie: What I find is that.
28:16
Stephanie: So the healing aspect even it's not only in the stories that you know may have happened to us as children, or whatever.
28:22
Stephanie: Sometimes it's it's that somebody wants to say you know, I really believe in this, or I think I have an opinion on this.
28:31
Stephanie: Right, the other person is able to not yell at them for it.
28:38
Stephanie: Not yell at them for it.
28:39
Stephanie: Right, exactly.
28:41
Stephanie: But actually and this is a challenge and it has been for me it's no longer such a challenge.
28:50
Stephanie: I'm quite good at it and I can neutralize the friction inside of me if somebody has opposing beliefs or says something that stirs me a bit.
29:03
Stephanie: So just putting that out there, because it's not something that's just like oh, I'm just going to click this button and I'm going to be really good at this.
29:11
Stephanie: It's practice, and if we can allow ourselves each other to practice, and say like hey, I'm practicing.
29:19
Stephanie: Ok, I don't believe what you believe, but I'm interested in understanding you more.
29:24
Stephanie: Yes, you tell me why and when we get to those yeah we get to the heart of it.
29:30
Stephanie: You see beyond.
29:32
Stephanie: You know um a religious affiliation or a political affiliation, or a person who you know did something bad Right.
29:43
Cassandra: Yeah.
29:44
Stephanie: And, and it creates again that connective piece.
29:47
Stephanie: And it doesn't mean you have to agree, it doesn't mean that you have to join forces or agree.
29:55
Stephanie: It means that you just learned a whole.
29:56
Stephanie: It means that you just learn a whole bunch of very helpful information, that's going to help you navigate the world with more compassion, more love and unity.
30:09
Cassandra: Yeah, I like that stance you put on and I always say we learn from differences.
30:13
Cassandra: You know, if everybody thought the same way, then you're not going to really learn anything, and it's just like you know.
30:26
Cassandra: I always say, when you travel to different countries and you know, you learn the different cultures you sometimes you appreciate, because a lot of times it's how they grew up and that's their culture.
30:31
Cassandra: You know, and you're right, all the rhetorical stuff that's going on now, going back and forth this and that, hey, you know, know, it would be great if everybody just listen.
30:43
Cassandra: Well, that's your perspective and but that's not mine and and move on, you know.
30:49
Cassandra: So I, I, I, I definitely, uh, believe you and I'm all with you when we talk about authenticity and boldness in your story to help humans get more meaningful, meaning information, meaningful to them, and it's not always about me, you know what about them.
31:08
Stephanie: Yeah, yeah, yeah I like that.
31:11
Cassandra: That's good, that's good.
31:13
Cassandra: Um, one other question is the ghostwriting.
31:18
Cassandra: I've heard you know of ghostwriters and do you find people are hesitant because you're a ghostwriter?
31:30
Cassandra: Do they feel, do you think they feel fake, you know, cause they didn't do it or what do you?
31:36
Cassandra: What's, what's the feeling out there for individuals that and I understand and I know there are a lot of famous people that hire ghostwriters.
31:45
Cassandra: I know that, and they could whip out a book like this, like that, like that so what is the vibe for individuals that hire you?
31:55
Cassandra: Or what's those beliefs?
31:57
Cassandra: Or they feel like they're fraud, or what's the feeling out there in regards to having ghostwriters?
32:04
Stephanie: yeah, most of my clients come to me through referrals, so it's another author who says you know who, who tells them from their own experience, which is so awesome for me, right, because then the person's coming to me with an understanding.
32:18
Stephanie: So, if I can share with you because I do think I use ghostwriter because it resonates with people, they that's what they, they need.
32:28
Stephanie: Right, they are looking for a ghost writer.
32:31
Stephanie: Some people come and they really understand what that is.
32:34
Stephanie: Maybe they've talked to someone again who's used either my services or somebody else.
32:39
Stephanie: And other people come thinking they don't, they don't know, they need to be filled in.
32:44
Stephanie: So, um, a ghostwriter is really a collaborator.
32:50
Stephanie: It's your authorship collaborator.
32:53
Stephanie: What a ghostwriter does is supports you to really find that deep, authentic narrative with that it's.
33:06
Stephanie: It's a, it is one of the most intimate relationships you'll ever form in your life because you share.
33:14
Stephanie: You know there's privacy agreements and stuff, right?
33:17
Stephanie: so, like, you get to share yeah all the things in that this extreme amount of trust and connection form and it's person who really asks you questions and allows you to share your story in whatever way, like sometimes I say, just get it out yeah, okay out and then we'll work on your authentic narrative, how you really want to say that.
33:44
Stephanie: Right, and they're, they're narrating, so none of the.
33:51
Stephanie: There's a lot of development work.
33:53
Stephanie: So I do a development phase with with authors and we work on on their voice, their tone, the style, the structure of the book, the strategy for authorship and really directing the flight path of the arrow for them.
34:10
Stephanie: So they feel really calm when we move into the minute and confident and excited when we meet up in a script Interesting.
34:18
Stephanie: So I really listen, I mean I record sessions and I'm, while people are walking around, listen to a podcast.
34:25
Stephanie: I might be walking around listening to one of the authors tell a story, right, cause I'm internalizing, like you know, are they funny?
34:34
Stephanie: Are they?
34:34
Stephanie: Are they?
34:36
Stephanie: Is that sarcasm, is it?
34:38
Stephanie: You know, silly, serious, all the things Right.
34:42
Stephanie: So and I have had people to answer your question more directly Come and say does this mean that, like I'm less than as an author, if I'm not doing all the writing author, if I'm not doing overriding and it is, authorship is creating something and owning that narrative?
35:09
Stephanie: And I always tell them like you're the author, so you're gonna, don't be fooled, there's work.
35:13
Cassandra: Okay, what.
35:14
Stephanie: I do is I free you up to narrate with me and then really lean into your biggest strengths, talents, passions.
35:23
Stephanie: So you know you're an entrepreneur, you're running a company.
35:26
Stephanie: Well, this is the highlight.
35:28
Stephanie: This is like one of the fun things you get to do in the week without having to feel like you have to go write 5,000 words.
35:34
Stephanie: That's just not.
35:37
Stephanie: Not everyone, by the way, is me.
35:40
Stephanie: Some people will say you know that you have to write a book, right?
35:46
Stephanie: And I always say ask who's who's getting paid.
35:48
Stephanie: Right If it's all people in the industry.
35:51
Stephanie: But if it's a writing coach, they might be saying that because, like they, you know they're writing coaches.
35:56
Stephanie: Right, and I do writing coaches.
35:58
Stephanie: I fluctuate between roles, but they might say you know it's your coaches.
36:03
Stephanie: I fluctuate between roles, but they might say you know it's your book you have to write it.
36:06
Stephanie: I don't believe that and I actually think, like sometimes when people are just talking to me yeah best things that they wouldn't have caught and like I go wait, what's that?
36:23
Stephanie: What's that part of the story?
36:23
Stephanie: Oh, it's just a thing, oh, can you tell me about it?
36:24
Stephanie: And it ends up being like whoa.
36:25
Stephanie: So that's the kind of like exchange that happens.
36:28
Stephanie: And then the writing you know, this is just a creative act.
36:31
Stephanie: And the writing, you know, hey, honestly, leave it up to somebody who's better at it okay it's a full-time.
36:42
Stephanie: I'm every day, I'm studying writing, I'm looking at the skills that I'm creating, I'm harnessing.
36:49
Stephanie: I mean, it's a full-time job yeah, I'm sure I'm sure you know.
36:54
Stephanie: If you can't make that your full-time job, there's no shame in that at all.
36:58
Stephanie: Just make sure that the ghost writer, if you hire one, interview five of them and make sure you feel so clear and comfortable and you know right.
37:11
Stephanie: And if that, if you don't feel that with me, I say go forward and do this book with someone else I can.
37:19
Cassandra: I'd had to do the writing because I felt it was my story and, listening to you, I could have told her my story and she could have done it, but I was insisting like no, this is can't nobody tell my story Like I can tell it, you know.
37:51
Cassandra: But just the collaboration was great.
37:54
Cassandra: And she, you know, and she would say I don't know about that, you know I would write it and then she would edit it and I'm like I don't know about that, you know so.
38:12
Cassandra: And she even admitted that it was tough for her, you know, because as a ghost writer, she was used to it.
38:14
Cassandra: But now, by me doing it, she said it was just a challenge for me and I'm not gonna lie about it, it just but.
38:20
Cassandra: And then, when she found out I was a number one bestseller, she said, oh my gosh, that's great.
38:25
Cassandra: That's great, so you know.
38:27
Cassandra: So she, she actually said she learned from me and, of course, I learned from her.
38:32
Cassandra: So you're right about the collaboration, how intimate that is because you're telling, telling your story.
38:38
Cassandra: And you know, and I think about, about, let me ask you this have you ever, uh, helped somebody with a book and turn into a movie?
38:47
Stephanie: I'm working on a couple of things now that they, you know they're interested in that.
38:52
Stephanie: Um, I think I always set, so here's what I do with authors.
38:58
Stephanie: You know why did you come right, right, and some people say I want to turn this into a movie.
39:03
Stephanie: Right, they might say that and I say, okay, tell me why.
39:07
Stephanie: What are the reasons?
39:08
Stephanie: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and I'm backtracking here only because it's like a lot of people want.
39:17
Stephanie: They think about authorship in terms of notoriety, or what's it gonna be?
39:21
Stephanie: What's it gonna be?
39:22
Stephanie: Oh, my god, I could be a movie, it could be streaming and it could be but, it could be just a whole lot of other things.
39:30
Stephanie: Yeah, I back up and we dig into really like, what's there's got to be more?
39:37
Stephanie: There's got to be more for you than just that.
39:42
Stephanie: Right, I always say it's not an act of celebrity or fame, not the way that I work, it's an act of like that comes again straight from your insides.
39:54
Stephanie: Exactly, talk about all the possibilities, so it's an exploration.
39:59
Stephanie: Oh my gosh, you don't know what can happen.
40:01
Stephanie: You might be the best speaker, you might be, have a course online, you might make a documentary.
40:07
Stephanie: Yeah, no, and that's I mean right now.
40:11
Stephanie: There's the thing in Congress yesterday with two authors right and they brought an issue that they're passionate about forward and the book had given them like a lot of notoriety.
40:22
Stephanie: I bet they didn't know that they were going to be doing that Right.
40:25
Stephanie: So if you explore, if you actually immerse yourself in the process, in the experience, in art in the fun.
40:36
Cassandra: Right.
40:37
Stephanie: Right.
40:37
Stephanie: That is more likely to turn out something that you don't know it could attract bigger than your imagination.
40:45
Stephanie: So I work with people on that.
40:47
Stephanie: I think it's really exciting to think about.
40:50
Stephanie: Of course, it'd be so cool if such and such pick this up, right?
40:54
Stephanie: But the danger in that is that then, if it doesn't happen, then we think we failed.
41:00
Stephanie: And an author who publishes a book I doesn't happen, then we think we failed.
41:02
Stephanie: And an author who publishes a book I don't care how you publish it or whatever.
41:05
Stephanie: This is not a failure, this is a success.
41:09
Stephanie: To fill one page is a success.
41:11
Stephanie: How many people fill a book, I mean?
41:15
Stephanie: So I just want them to feel like it doesn't matter where it goes.
41:21
Stephanie: They got so much out of it that you know they would do it over and over again.
41:27
Cassandra: And hopefully.
41:28
Stephanie: That attracts amazing energy, you know.
41:31
Cassandra: Wow, Wow.
41:32
Cassandra: What you just stated could be a pivoting point for some of my listeners who wanted to write a book.
41:37
Cassandra: He said just write a page, you know, then you'll feel this and write another page, you know.
41:43
Cassandra: So anything you write is not a failure, so I like that.
41:47
Cassandra: Now one more question I have for you.
41:50
Cassandra: By you understanding the challenges that my listeners are facing in regards to stuck and wanting to do this and wanting to do that, what suggestions would you leave them with?
42:05
Stephanie: One small act of courage if you can identify the tiniest thing, something you're a little bit scared to do, but you can act anyway.
42:15
Stephanie: Conditioning yourself to act anyway is a huge part of bridging the gaps of writing.
42:23
Stephanie: I don't believe in writer's block.
42:26
Stephanie: I just think it's, you know, various things that get in our way.
42:32
Stephanie: Yeah, exactly right.
42:36
Cassandra: Yeah.
42:46
Stephanie: Right, right, yeah, and that the thing that keeps me going every day maybe this is helpful is, I think, what if I didn't?
42:50
Stephanie: And at the end of my life, what if I don't?
42:52
Stephanie: I'm always going to wonder and I really, truly, every day, I'm like, and I always like, oh, this could be recorded and I could die tomorrow and I would be elated because I failed.
43:07
Stephanie: I took the risks, I, you know, I said things and and I, I tried, I did it, I took action and and so you know.
43:18
Stephanie: Maybe that question will help you to, like you know what happens if I don't.
43:24
Stephanie: Are you OK with not knowing?
43:26
Stephanie: All right, I'm not OK with a lot of that.
43:29
Cassandra: I'm like no exactly.
43:31
Stephanie: And our capacity as humans is exposed more and more as we answer that question what if I do this?
43:39
Stephanie: Try it.
43:40
Stephanie: And then it's like you realize what you're capable of and you might feel really small and really alone and filled with self-doubt and I promise you, I promise you that that will change if you do it anyway and go at 70, 80 percent.
43:59
Stephanie: Do you look at perfection?
44:01
Stephanie: Perfection is the killer of the.
44:03
Stephanie: There are music albums, there are books, there are things that the that people did without perfection, that they thought was just gonna like go in an archive and nobody loved it.
44:18
Stephanie: And that became the most fan favorite, you know thing.
44:23
Stephanie: So, you don't know what people are going to like.
44:27
Cassandra: Exactly, exactly or not, like Right.
44:30
Cassandra: So what I'm hearing, guys, is no regrets.
44:33
Cassandra: You know, whatever you want to do, don't, as Stephanie said, don't think I should have done this, but why didn't I do that.
44:39
Cassandra: You know, when it's time, you just have this peace to say I've done it, I tried it, it failed, but I picked it up and did something else.
44:48
Cassandra: So I concur with that topic, that message right, there is no regrets, do it anyway.
44:55
Cassandra: And the thing you said is you've got to take small steps, you've got to do something.
45:06
Stephanie: You just don't sit up there and mull over it, because it'll never get done.
45:08
Stephanie: Yeah, and it'll be a torture chamber in your head, exactly, exactly.
45:09
Cassandra: Well, stephanie, this topic was great.
45:11
Cassandra: I know that I had so many people on that want to be authors and some of them are now thinking about, well, maybe I'll get a ghost writer.
45:20
Cassandra: And then some of them are like, well, what about the elephant?
45:22
Stephanie: in the room.
45:22
Stephanie: You know how much is that going to cost.
45:24
Cassandra: You know all of that kind of stuff, but this is another option for them, that and, as you indicate, we don't do nothing alone.
45:33
Cassandra: It's not something they would have to do by themselves, and you attested to that, and for myself, I didn't do it by myself either, and if I didn't have her, it wouldn't have turned out like it did, because I had somebody to talk through it and talk with me about it.
45:48
Cassandra: So again, I'd like to thank you listeners.
45:51
Cassandra: If you heard something that was of best interest for any of your friends, anybody that you know, please share it and also know that this is going to be on all podcast platforms and also I want my listeners to be aware of that.
46:08
Cassandra: I want to find out how you can get in touch with Stephanie, but I'd like for you to kind of figure out what's your potential type as it relates to things you want to do, and this probably will help you determine why are you stuck and give you some answers on why you're not doing anything.
46:24
Cassandra: Go on my website, cassandracrawleycom, and take the potential quiz, and that will actually help you and let you know what type of potential do you have.
46:34
Cassandra: And, stephanie, how can the listeners get in touch with you?
46:37
Stephanie: Yes, the wild larynxcom.
46:40
Stephanie: So that's the wild w-i-l-d.
46:43
Stephanie: L-a-r-y-n-x.
46:46
Stephanie: That's the voice box, by the way, and on instagram, the wild larynx.
46:54
Stephanie: Okay, that's the best way.
46:55
Stephanie: You can go to the website and book a consultation.
46:59
Stephanie: I'm booking now for 2025.
47:02
Cassandra: So yeah, it's a new year, yeah, yeah, and guys refer some of your friends that you know that would be an interest, have an interest in this as well.
47:11
Cassandra: So now, listeners, I'd like to say bye for now.
47:15
Cassandra: God bless you and thank you so much, stephanie.
47:19
Cassandra: It was a pleasure.
47:20
Stephanie: Thank you so much.
47:21
Stephanie: It was great Love talking to you.