Latest / Stugotz and Company / Set 2: Fake Steven Segal

Transcript

Set 2: Fake Steven Segal · Stugotz and Company

0:00
Speaker 1: With Stu Gotts and Hawkman. I mean, what makes a
0:07
Speaker 1: day better than I with Stu Gotts and Hawkman podcast?
0:12
Speaker 2: Nothing Man, I mean I love you. I mean I
0:16
Speaker 2: mean that.
0:16
Speaker 3: I mean you could pause forever and I would just
0:19
Speaker 3: laugh until you started talking again.
0:21
Speaker 1: Stu Gotts reminded me next week leads into Mother's Day, Yes,
0:27
Speaker 1: which is a great opportunity for you to buy a
0:29
Speaker 1: cameo from me and Stu Gotts for your mom.
0:34
Speaker 3: I mean he is sucking me into a meeting at
0:37
Speaker 3: a Starbucks at Boca.
0:39
Speaker 2: I can't wait.
0:40
Speaker 1: I mean, imagine your mom or your wife, mother of
0:45
Speaker 1: your children getting a cameo from me and Stu Gots
0:48
Speaker 1: at Meisner Park and beautiful Boca atone I mean, I
0:53
Speaker 1: mean nothing better. Hop on the cameo app right now.
0:58
Speaker 1: Order your Stu Gotts and Hawkman cameo. You'd do it
1:01
Speaker 1: by searching Mark Hackman on cameo and Mother's Day is
1:05
Speaker 1: taken care of my friends. So the last episode we
1:11
Speaker 1: did was Lombardo, Yeah, and I just wanted to revisit
1:14
Speaker 1: that for a second. People loved Lombardo and it happens
1:18
Speaker 1: to be a great trip down memory lane because those
1:23
Speaker 1: Lombardo calls are something special, man, epic man. But I
1:28
Speaker 1: got dms from dozens of people telling me Lombardo is dead,
1:34
Speaker 1: of sending me his obituary, and Taylor was on it
1:37
Speaker 1: from the jump. That was not Lombardo's obituary. That was
1:42
Speaker 1: Lombardo's dad's obituary. Oh wow, Lombardo's dad passed away last
1:50
Speaker 1: year and it talks about Lombardo being in Boca Ratone
1:55
Speaker 1: and Lombardo's dad being very Probably it almost sounded like
2:00
Speaker 1: Lombardo wrote the obituary because the far board. Yes, he
2:04
Speaker 1: went a little overboard talking about how proud he was
2:09
Speaker 1: of his son, the radio broadcaster. I kind of feel
2:12
Speaker 1: like Lombardo may have had a hand in writing.
2:14
Speaker 2: He penned his own dad's bit.
2:18
Speaker 4: So hawk, I have it right here.
2:20
Speaker 5: It says he was extremely proud of his son, Alfred
2:25
Speaker 5: Yofi Lombardo Junior, who became a well known radio and
2:28
Speaker 5: TV sports personality in Schenectady, New York, as well as
2:32
Speaker 5: Miami and Boca Ratone.
2:34
Speaker 2: Huh, there you go.
2:35
Speaker 1: So Lombardo, from everything we can tell, he is alive, yes,
2:40
Speaker 1: and probably is somewhere in Boca Ratone.
2:44
Speaker 3: But mister Lombardo. May he rest in peace, May rest
2:47
Speaker 3: in peace. Yes, so Lombardo. After hearing Taylor read that,
2:51
Speaker 3: I have no doubt that Lombardo himself wrote.
2:56
Speaker 1: Little and I'm guessing the eulogy may have been heavy
2:59
Speaker 1: on his own accolades rather than his dad's. But it's
3:02
Speaker 1: a completely Uh, it doesn't matter, It doesn't matter.
3:06
Speaker 2: He took a moment to talk about himself.
3:08
Speaker 1: Speaking of I'm guessing he did a rant.
3:13
Speaker 2: Seven chairs.
3:14
Speaker 6: Yeah, you lame uptake, A grim reaper come for me.
3:25
Speaker 1: I'll bet you one hundred thousand dollars that you can't
3:30
Speaker 1: bring me up there, you lame uptake. Speaking of famous callers, Yeah,
3:38
Speaker 1: Stugoton Taylor don't even know this. I have been given
3:42
Speaker 1: I have checked it is true. I have been given
3:45
Speaker 1: a contact number for Benny from Fort Lauderdale.
3:49
Speaker 2: No way, you'll lie.
3:51
Speaker 1: He will join us on this podcast. What in the future.
3:57
Speaker 1: I can't tell you how this came about, God, but
4:00
Speaker 1: I can tell you I'm extremely excited. Yes, Benny from
4:05
Speaker 1: Fort Lauderdale, Oh my God, join us.
4:07
Speaker 2: Yes, what a special day that's going to be. I mean,
4:13
Speaker 2: that is worthy of an I mean.
4:17
Speaker 1: In his mouth Lombardo is Alive. Mother's Day cameos from
4:22
Speaker 1: me and stuct Gouts are available.
4:24
Speaker 2: You're an asshole.
4:26
Speaker 1: The Hulk Hogan documentary on Netflix is out, which reminded
4:30
Speaker 1: me we need to revisit the Hulk Hogan moments from
4:32
Speaker 1: the Levatard Show because there were a few, one of
4:35
Speaker 1: them being extremely memorable.
4:37
Speaker 2: Yes.
4:38
Speaker 3: I talked about that moment with Jimmy harp Mouth of
4:41
Speaker 3: the South last week on the radio show, and he
4:43
Speaker 3: was very well aware of the exact moment I believe
4:47
Speaker 3: that you're talking about.
4:49
Speaker 2: Was outraged.
4:50
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, we'll definitely read visit that. I know this
4:55
Speaker 1: doesn't post till later, but there is some breaking news
4:58
Speaker 1: in the world of MLB right now. The Phillies have
5:01
Speaker 1: fired their manager, Rob Thompson.
5:03
Speaker 2: Oh, real, little.
5:04
Speaker 1: Breaking news for you here on the with Stugatts and
5:07
Speaker 1: Hawkman podcast, of which it's no longer breaking news by
5:10
Speaker 1: the time you hear this.
5:12
Speaker 2: In two minutes.
5:13
Speaker 3: Rob Thompson is now that's his name as as the
5:17
Speaker 3: manager of the Phillies. When he played for the San
5:20
Speaker 3: Francisco Giants and other teams, he was Robbie Thompson's right, Yes,
5:24
Speaker 3: you have a name. Yes, I don't think so. I don't, well,
5:29
Speaker 3: not that I know of. I'm gonna look it up.
5:30
Speaker 3: He did Taylor Topper.
5:33
Speaker 1: Oh great call?
5:35
Speaker 2: What does that mean?
5:36
Speaker 1: Great call? You can before we get into today's program,
5:40
Speaker 1: which is all about Steven Segall. It's on the Yes
5:46
Speaker 1: and the great history he has on the Lavatard Show.
5:50
Speaker 1: I always tell you, if you want to hear something,
5:52
Speaker 1: you can always DM me on Instagram. It's Radio Mark
5:55
Speaker 1: Hawkman on Instagram. The number of dms I got after
6:00
Speaker 1: the Lombardo episode was through the roof. Here's one Dave
6:04
Speaker 1: from Massachusetts. Here. I've listened to you and Stugotts separately
6:08
Speaker 1: for years. The Lombardo podcast made me laugh uncontrollably. Thank
6:14
Speaker 1: you for reminiscing the pleasure was all ours. And then
6:21
Speaker 1: people are dming me for a lot of reasons. This
6:25
Speaker 1: was interesting, Hock and Stu. I've really been enjoying the podcast.
6:29
Speaker 1: In fact, it's something I look forward to every week.
6:32
Speaker 1: I started listening to The Dan LeBatard Show when they
6:35
Speaker 1: joined Peacock, so I'm a new listener. I didn't know
6:39
Speaker 1: how I existed before. I didn't know the show was
6:41
Speaker 1: on Peacock.
6:43
Speaker 3: So after we left ESPN and did our deal with draftings.
6:48
Speaker 3: Right after ESPN Hawk we started doing some deals.
6:52
Speaker 2: With Peacock just to air the show.
6:54
Speaker 3: So I think we're on right after Dan Patrick as
6:57
Speaker 3: part of their regular daily sports lineups. So I think
7:00
Speaker 3: we come on after you know, we take the show
7:02
Speaker 3: in the morning and then they take that and they
7:03
Speaker 3: repurpose it.
7:04
Speaker 1: This guy says, I found myself trying to understand all
7:08
Speaker 1: the inside jokes and the nuances of the show very quickly.
7:11
Speaker 1: I started listening to the unfinished Oral History episodes and
7:15
Speaker 1: that's the first time I was introduced to Hawk. I'm
7:17
Speaker 1: learning so much about the history of the show, but
7:20
Speaker 1: also gaining more and more understanding of where the show
7:22
Speaker 1: got its twisted, comical, borderline, silly backbone. With every new
7:27
Speaker 1: episode of with Stu Goatts and Hawkman, please keep them coming.
7:33
Speaker 1: Well you're going to get one today here Jay, because
7:37
Speaker 1: this episode is about Steven Sagal. So Steven Segall started
7:42
Speaker 1: a reality show. Do you remember what it was called.
7:45
Speaker 3: I don't remember what it was called. I do want
7:47
Speaker 3: to give an update quickly here at Robbie Thompson and
7:50
Speaker 3: why his nickname is the Topper hopefully.
7:53
Speaker 2: As a player. Well he's on top of everything.
7:55
Speaker 3: He's very organized, very precise, and so he's on top
7:58
Speaker 3: of everything, and therefore they gave him the nick named
8:00
Speaker 3: the Topper.
8:00
Speaker 2: It's a lame nickname, terrible nickname. Who wants to be
8:04
Speaker 2: known for being on top of everything?
8:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, mister organization, Like, who do you want on
8:11
Speaker 1: your team, mister October or mister organized.
8:15
Speaker 3: Guess he wasn't on top of the Phillies line.
8:21
Speaker 1: Stephens Gall started this reality show called Steven Sagall Lawman.
8:26
Speaker 2: Yes, that's right, yes, Steve.
8:29
Speaker 1: Up until that time he was just an action star.
8:32
Speaker 3: But wed yeah, don't don't call him just an action star.
8:36
Speaker 3: This guy was like at the time hot in, like
8:40
Speaker 3: the Mount Rushmore in terms of action stars for movies.
8:44
Speaker 3: It was like John Claude Van Dan Stephen Sagals the
8:48
Speaker 3: Loone Like he was up there, man, he really was.
8:50
Speaker 1: He was one of the biggest badasses on the planet.
8:53
Speaker 2: Crazy.
8:54
Speaker 1: He has subsequently, if you don't know, Steven Sagall has
8:57
Speaker 1: subsequently become extremely bloated. He paints on his hair. He
9:01
Speaker 1: lives in Russia. He is very good friends with Vladimir Putin,
9:06
Speaker 1: and he is like an official member of the Russian government. Yes,
9:11
Speaker 1: regardless and I think he's renounced his US citizenship and
9:14
Speaker 1: became a citizen of Russia. Regardless, I was fascinated with
9:19
Speaker 1: this reality show Lawman because I hadn't seen Steven Sagahll
9:24
Speaker 1: do really anything other than the action movies. And now
9:27
Speaker 1: I see him and he's on the streets in Louisiana,
9:32
Speaker 1: Jefferson County Parish, Louisiana, which was part of my memories, well,
9:37
Speaker 1: it was part of my fake Stephen sagahal is. I
9:39
Speaker 1: would talk, he talked like this, like he was I
9:44
Speaker 1: don't know, local in Jefferson County Parish, and my impersonation
9:51
Speaker 1: of Steven Sagall was immediately beloved. Here is this is
9:55
Speaker 1: a clip from the show where Dan's like, hey, everyone
10:01
Speaker 1: loves this new Hawk impersonation. And this might have legs.
10:07
Speaker 7: Hak, You're getting universal fanfare, just consensus fanfare on your
10:12
Speaker 7: Steven Sagall impersonation. Somebody writes in Hai, you guys have
10:15
Speaker 7: to describe what Hawk looks like when he does this impression,
10:19
Speaker 7: because I've got to imagine that it's even better than
10:21
Speaker 7: the impression does he squint? And to me, the thing
10:25
Speaker 7: that keeps making me laugh about this impression as great
10:28
Speaker 7: as it is. And by the way, he can't impersonate
10:30
Speaker 7: anyone else. This is a very weird development because he can't.
10:34
Speaker 7: He's no good. His impression stink. But this one have
10:37
Speaker 7: you heard is Joe Girardi? I mean, he stinks an impressions,
10:41
Speaker 7: but this one is. It's flabbergasting how good it is.
10:45
Speaker 7: And the emailer is right in that it's funnier to
10:49
Speaker 7: us in here, to me at least, because I'm staring
10:51
Speaker 7: at him and he's totally in character.
10:53
Speaker 4: He never smiles like Hawk is not.
10:55
Speaker 7: He is in He is rummaging around near Stephen Sagall's
11:01
Speaker 7: soul as he does this, and he evidently thinks he's
11:04
Speaker 7: Stephen Sagall because he doesn't smile. He doesn't he doesn't laugh.
11:09
Speaker 7: He's just there covered in syrupy ooze. We have to
11:15
Speaker 7: hear more from Steven Sagal as the show goes on.
11:18
Speaker 1: Can't get enough.
11:19
Speaker 4: How can I break down the mechanics of this impersonation?
11:22
Speaker 7: Please with Steven Sagall real quick before before we move
11:26
Speaker 7: on to other things here.
11:27
Speaker 3: You're so right though, he is awful with every and
11:30
Speaker 3: I'm not a guy who does any impersonations, but he
11:32
Speaker 3: is awful with every other impersonation he has ever done,
11:35
Speaker 3: and he has this down to a t.
11:37
Speaker 7: Well, what do you think the key to the impression
11:40
Speaker 7: is fake Stephen Sagall? Is it the clips nature of
11:44
Speaker 7: the way that he speaks?
11:46
Speaker 8: Well, again, I'll take issue with the impression because when
11:49
Speaker 8: I am Stephen Sagal, that's right, Stephen Sigaal. There's no effort,
11:55
Speaker 8: there's no clip in, there's no laziness, there is no
11:58
Speaker 8: laziness talking. I'm talking the way I talk to you,
12:02
Speaker 8: the way I talk to your mama.
12:04
Speaker 7: But I think there is laziness in the impression. I
12:06
Speaker 7: think that the key to the impression is sort of
12:08
Speaker 7: the lazy, the lazy way the words come out.
12:11
Speaker 9: That's the way that the Zen do things.
12:15
Speaker 4: Really, that's right, Zen, All.
12:18
Speaker 7: Right, Well, that's a key, that's a key portion of
12:21
Speaker 7: the imperson I do become.
12:23
Speaker 10: Him, I feel like, and I understand why he talks
12:25
Speaker 10: that way, because it's fun.
12:27
Speaker 4: I actually did it today.
12:29
Speaker 10: I was in the office today and Tommy, our production director,
12:32
Speaker 10: comes up to me and he says, do you know
12:33
Speaker 10: where Miguel is? And I don't know what clicked, but
12:36
Speaker 10: I became Steven Sagall and I looked at.
12:38
Speaker 9: Him I said, I don't know where Miguel is, and.
12:42
Speaker 10: He looked at me like I was crazy because he
12:44
Speaker 10: didn't hear the show yesterday.
12:45
Speaker 1: But it feels good. The thing Steven Sagall was doing
12:55
Speaker 1: on this television show, just imagine Tommy, Tommy, our old
13:02
Speaker 1: production director, Miguel Escobar, our old promotions director.
13:06
Speaker 2: Love those guys.
13:07
Speaker 1: Steven Sagall on that TV show would The open to
13:10
Speaker 1: the show was, this is Steven Seagal. That's right, Steven Segal,
13:17
Speaker 1: like he knew you couldn't believe it was actually him
13:21
Speaker 1: in a riding shotgun in a sheriff's vehicle.
13:25
Speaker 3: It was so unbelievable that he had to remind you
13:28
Speaker 3: the second answer, Yes.
13:29
Speaker 1: Stevenson, I know you can't believe this because I'm a
13:33
Speaker 1: movie star, but here I am in Jefferson County cop too.
13:40
Speaker 1: That's right, It's just I was just fascinated with this show, right.
13:45
Speaker 3: Steven Sagal appears to be that kind of guy who
13:49
Speaker 3: walks into, like, wherever he walks into, if it's an
13:51
Speaker 3: Italian restaurant, he turns on the Italian accent. He'll turn
13:54
Speaker 3: on whatever accent he has to turn on to cater
13:57
Speaker 3: to the market.
13:58
Speaker 2: He's actually it.
13:59
Speaker 1: Well, that's why I even say to you guys in
14:01
Speaker 1: that clip, like something about your mama, because one of
14:04
Speaker 1: the things I got fascinated with was he was around
14:07
Speaker 1: these young, tough kids. He'd pulled them over in Jefferson
14:11
Speaker 1: County Parish and instead of saying, hey, what are you
14:15
Speaker 1: guys doing out here so late? Because it's a movie star,
14:18
Speaker 1: Hey what are you guys doing out here so late?
14:20
Speaker 1: Where are your parents? Or whatever? I remember, he walked
14:23
Speaker 1: up to them and he goes where Mama At, which
14:28
Speaker 1: became a game on the radio show. I think when
14:31
Speaker 1: I left you guys, I used to do a game
14:35
Speaker 1: called where Mama At? And it would be like I
14:39
Speaker 1: just found out, you know, three months ago that James
14:41
Speaker 1: Harden was on the calves. But that's the game. It's
14:44
Speaker 1: like where Mama at? And you do it at the
14:46
Speaker 1: beginning of a season, where Mama at? And then you
14:49
Speaker 1: name a player and you try, or where Mama at
14:52
Speaker 1: Mike McDaniel and you go, oh, Chargers offensive coordinator. Yeah,
14:57
Speaker 1: but you would replace the name. You would say where
15:00
Speaker 1: a right. Nope, I would just say let's play where
15:02
Speaker 1: Mama at? James Harden, Where Mama at?
15:06
Speaker 2: Good chance he's at his trip club.
15:09
Speaker 1: It was just so it was just obnoxious. The way
15:13
Speaker 1: that Steven Sagall would try to talk the exact way
15:19
Speaker 1: that everyone around him was talking was so weird. Here's
15:22
Speaker 1: more conversation from the show about Steven Sagall my impersonation
15:26
Speaker 1: the reality show.
15:29
Speaker 4: It was Mama, it's crazy how good that is. It's
15:33
Speaker 4: just unbelievable.
15:35
Speaker 7: I mean, we got to bring Frank Kelly Endo on
15:37
Speaker 7: and ask him what he thinks of that impersonation, because
15:40
Speaker 7: I think it's better than anything.
15:41
Speaker 4: I think it's better than any of Kelly Endo's impersonation.
15:43
Speaker 10: And if you watch the steven Sagall lawman, I'm telling
15:46
Speaker 10: you'd watch the show cringing the whole time because he's
15:49
Speaker 10: to I mean, mine's a put on.
15:51
Speaker 4: He's talking like that.
15:52
Speaker 10: He's very serious about it, and they do these things
15:55
Speaker 10: where they slow it down. He he you know, he
15:57
Speaker 10: talks about when they're in the patrol and you know
16:01
Speaker 10: that the cop that's sitting next to him that's really
16:03
Speaker 10: been a cop his entire life.
16:04
Speaker 8: Steven's call sitting there being an interview. He's like, when
16:06
Speaker 8: we're driving down the street, I'm looking for things that
16:09
Speaker 8: the normal person wouldn't see a hand in a pocket,
16:14
Speaker 8: an awkward glance to the side, fiddling with your fingers.
16:21
Speaker 10: And he believes that he can see things. But what
16:23
Speaker 10: they do on the show is when he says.
16:26
Speaker 9: I'm looking for the things a hand in the.
16:27
Speaker 10: Pocket, the show goes blam blam, and and you know what,
16:31
Speaker 10: focuses in on some young kid with a hand in
16:33
Speaker 10: his pocket, Like Steven Siggol has seen something that no
16:36
Speaker 10: one else does, right and so and then he like
16:39
Speaker 10: gives orders.
16:40
Speaker 8: Out to the other cops will be like he sees someone,
16:42
Speaker 8: he goes, I think I just saw someone drop someone
16:44
Speaker 8: on the ground. Put the lights on.
16:46
Speaker 9: Like he doesn't even talk to anyone normal.
16:48
Speaker 10: It's always there's just this really unctious, over dramatic tone,
16:53
Speaker 10: but when you do it in real life, it's fun.
17:00
Speaker 3: So he never just says hello, Steven, my mama, bringing
17:06
Speaker 3: back to so many memories.
17:08
Speaker 1: That show was so good. Do you even know who
17:10
Speaker 1: Steven Sagall is, Taylor.
17:12
Speaker 5: I only know him from those like ridiculous martial arts
17:15
Speaker 5: videos that.
17:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, he became a complete buffoon, But.
17:20
Speaker 3: We all have friends like that who kind of turn
17:22
Speaker 3: into the place they walk into, like I think fake
17:24
Speaker 3: Howard was like that, right.
17:28
Speaker 1: We go. It's so funny because when I'm with Barry,
17:31
Speaker 1: if we go to an Italian restaurant, Barry becomes Paulie Walnuts.
17:37
Speaker 1: It's I mean, it's like uncanny and so. But Steven's like,
17:43
Speaker 1: we do it as a goof Stevenskall did it for
17:46
Speaker 1: real this show. I'm telling you, if you can find
17:49
Speaker 1: Steven Sagall Lawman on one of these streaming services, watch it.
17:53
Speaker 1: You won't believe what you're looking at. But when we
17:56
Speaker 1: started this podt Stu got said talk to my Steven
18:01
Speaker 1: Segal came out with a CD of music. All of
18:07
Speaker 1: a sudden he was an artist and we and we
18:09
Speaker 1: when we were in our Steven Sagall fascination phase of
18:13
Speaker 1: the show, we didn't know that. And then someone pointed
18:16
Speaker 1: it out to us. And this is just a clip
18:18
Speaker 1: from the song called talk to My Ass. This was
18:20
Speaker 1: the end of the clip that became ubiquitous on the
18:23
Speaker 1: Levatard Show. That was the singer and the walk to
18:33
Speaker 1: My House.
18:39
Speaker 2: Hack.
18:39
Speaker 3: That was the last thing you would hear every single show.
18:42
Speaker 2: Correct, yes, yes, that.
18:44
Speaker 1: Was the end of show montage. And the final clip
18:47
Speaker 1: in the end of show montage was Steven Sagall singing
18:51
Speaker 1: talk to My ass, but that infiltrated into the show.
18:55
Speaker 1: Here's a clip where all of a sudden, Dan realizes, Hey,
18:58
Speaker 1: that's kind of a funny thing to corporate into the show.
19:02
Speaker 4: Steve Gotts.
19:03
Speaker 7: Did you know that Steven Sagal has a song out
19:05
Speaker 7: called talk to My Ass? No, I'm dead serious, I'm
19:10
Speaker 7: so not making that up. Steven sig what a great
19:14
Speaker 7: titles a song? Helse, what a great well that that
19:18
Speaker 7: parts funny by itself, right, But the title of the song,
19:23
Speaker 7: the title of the song is talk to my ass?
19:27
Speaker 4: Lowis talk to my ass?
19:29
Speaker 6: Yo?
19:30
Speaker 3: Dad?
19:31
Speaker 2: Yeah?
19:32
Speaker 1: All right, listen, I want to know what they the
19:34
Speaker 1: physical they do on Shack?
19:35
Speaker 4: What does that consist of?
19:36
Speaker 2: Man they do?
19:37
Speaker 1: MRIs?
19:37
Speaker 8: How many doctors they got involved?
19:39
Speaker 4: They talked to his ass? Okay? Marlon Stein?
20:18
Speaker 1: President David Sampson next, we were just fascinating with everything
20:27
Speaker 1: Steven Sagall. And you remember that he would pick up
20:30
Speaker 1: the phone when that's funny too. What's the Shack physical
20:33
Speaker 1: consist of? These are the phone calls that we would during.
20:36
Speaker 3: We're doing a thing on and that's the call we get,
20:39
Speaker 3: of course because sports radio.
20:40
Speaker 1: But he starts answering. For weeks he would answer every
20:43
Speaker 1: phone with you know, hey, Bob, talk to my ass.
20:46
Speaker 1: That was like the greeting that we were all in
20:49
Speaker 1: on Steven Sagall. In fact, you remember Jason Cappono, the shooter. Yes,
20:57
Speaker 1: that's remember.
20:58
Speaker 2: It was my capone.
21:00
Speaker 1: We had Jason Capono on the show and Dan asked
21:04
Speaker 1: him to do a talk to my ass celebration.
21:09
Speaker 7: Jason Cappono. He almost broke the record for best three
21:12
Speaker 7: point shooting in a season in the history of the sport.
21:14
Speaker 7: Most important question. Were you aware that Steven Sagal had
21:16
Speaker 7: a singing career?
21:18
Speaker 1: Absolutely not.
21:19
Speaker 7: Well, this is one of his big hit songs, Steven
21:21
Speaker 7: Sigal the action hero.
21:23
Speaker 4: Let's play this for Jason Capono.
21:27
Speaker 7: That would be Steven Sagal Copono telling you to talk
21:31
Speaker 7: to his ass.
21:33
Speaker 4: Please do this for us.
21:34
Speaker 7: You make a shot, you just say, talk to my ass.
21:40
Speaker 4: Will you please do this for us?
21:42
Speaker 1: Yeah? Let me let me talk to like my family
21:44
Speaker 1: and stuff.
21:48
Speaker 7: That'd be so great if, like Gilbert Aarina says Hibachi
21:51
Speaker 7: after making shots, freeze him making your friends talk to
21:56
Speaker 7: my ass.
22:00
Speaker 3: Listen, there were important things to discuss with your family.
22:03
Speaker 2: That's not one of them.
22:04
Speaker 1: Man, No one seemed to be as enamored. We talked
22:06
Speaker 1: to my ansds as we were, but it literally had
22:09
Speaker 1: infiltrated the show. So I'm going on and on and
22:12
Speaker 1: I'm doing my fake Stephen Sagal on a daily basis.
22:15
Speaker 1: Dan can't get enough of it, the listeners can't get
22:18
Speaker 1: enough of it, and so we unveil a new segment.
22:22
Speaker 1: We had Roy's Top ten, we decided to do Steven
22:25
Speaker 1: sagal Top five and this was, I believe the first episode.
22:32
Speaker 7: Time now for a brand new segment. UH, brand new segment.
22:36
Speaker 7: Bobby Bowden gonna join us at five fifteen, A brand
22:42
Speaker 7: new segment. It's different than anything we've ever done.
22:51
Speaker 4: Time Now for Steven Sagal's Top five.
22:55
Speaker 7: That's right, Steven Seagal's Top five parishes, Number five, Segal Robert.
23:04
Speaker 1: Parish, that's right, the Chief, number four, Lance Parish, that's.
23:14
Speaker 9: Right, Lance Parish, Number three parish, France, that's right, Parish, France.
23:25
Speaker 4: Number two, Roscolle.
23:28
Speaker 8: Parish, that's right, Roscolle Parish.
23:34
Speaker 7: And number number one, number one, Stephen Sagall's number one
23:40
Speaker 7: parish is.
23:41
Speaker 8: Jefferson Parish, Louisiana, New Orleans. County Parish, Jefferson Parish.
23:48
Speaker 1: My name is Stephen sig Roger.
23:50
Speaker 2: That's right, Stephen Roger, That.
23:58
Speaker 1: Roger that.
24:00
Speaker 7: So there it is ladies and gentlemen, the first and last,
24:10
Speaker 7: the first and last steven Sgal.
24:14
Speaker 4: Segment.
24:16
Speaker 1: So I realized that Dan was already losing interest. You
24:21
Speaker 1: could tell he's losing interest in my steven Sagall in Bursnet.
24:24
Speaker 2: Well because it's becoming more and more popular.
24:26
Speaker 1: So I realized, if I'm going to continue to do
24:34
Speaker 1: steven Sigal Top five, I've got to dress it up
24:37
Speaker 1: a little bit. I had that little stinger that I
24:39
Speaker 1: had created for the end, Stephen Stephen Sal Stephen Skall.
24:42
Speaker 1: It was a stinger, but I knew it needed a
24:45
Speaker 1: little more during the top five. And so Dan was like, no, no, no,
24:50
Speaker 1: I think that's run its course. And I said, no, no, no,
24:52
Speaker 1: let's do it again. Top five rights because you have
24:54
Speaker 1: the right to remain silent or whatever. So you went
24:57
Speaker 1: back to the drawing board. Essentially, I said this, Yeah.
25:00
Speaker 1: I thought to myself, this needs to be dressed up
25:02
Speaker 1: a little bit. There needs to be there, like I
25:04
Speaker 1: can't just use the Roscoe Parish.
25:08
Speaker 2: That's right, yes, by the way, Brant, Yes, that's right.
25:12
Speaker 3: I noticed Taylor was looking up Roscoe Parish when that.
25:14
Speaker 2: Name was mentioned. Yes, I did, and probably Jason Capono.
25:17
Speaker 2: He has no idea.
25:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you know Jason Coppono.
25:21
Speaker 5: I know Jason Cappono just from the three point contest,
25:24
Speaker 5: but I also know Roscoe Parrish too because I remember
25:27
Speaker 5: when he got drafted by the Bills.
25:29
Speaker 4: That was like.
25:30
Speaker 5: Peak me being a Jets fan in like the mid
25:32
Speaker 5: two thousands.
25:34
Speaker 2: So Hawk what was interesting.
25:35
Speaker 3: And people may have missed this, but Dan on the
25:38
Speaker 3: front end, as we're getting into your top five, promoted
25:42
Speaker 3: Bobby Bowden and getting guests. To Dan's credit, getting guests
25:46
Speaker 3: like Bobby Bowden, now it also speaks.
25:49
Speaker 2: Just how we are that we have Bobby Badden as
25:52
Speaker 2: a guest.
25:52
Speaker 3: But to be able to have Bobby Bowden at the
25:54
Speaker 3: height of his coaching career allowed us enabled us to
25:59
Speaker 3: kind of do what whatever the fuck we wanted to
26:01
Speaker 3: around Bobby Bodden because we knew we would have.
26:04
Speaker 2: Bobby on or Mood or pat Riley or someone like that.
26:08
Speaker 1: Some incredible We were like we were like a dinner theater.
26:11
Speaker 1: Yes you were going to get a meal, but you
26:13
Speaker 1: were also going to get some juggler walking around the
26:16
Speaker 1: dining room. Stephen Sagall Top five, So I strong arm him.
26:22
Speaker 1: I say, let's do it again. I've dressed it up.
26:24
Speaker 1: This is the next Stephen Sagal Top five.
26:27
Speaker 7: Time now for a brand new failed segment A so far,
26:31
Speaker 7: the first one was terrible. The second one was better,
26:33
Speaker 7: but still not good. It is a brand new segment
26:38
Speaker 7: and I'm hoping it'll disappear after about five or six days.
26:42
Speaker 7: I thought it would disappear after the first day, Frankly
26:45
Speaker 7: Stucatts because.
26:46
Speaker 1: Uh we here to stay.
26:49
Speaker 7: The first day was really terrible. So what's what's this
26:53
Speaker 7: one about?
26:54
Speaker 1: This is about riots?
26:56
Speaker 4: What's that? That's right? Well, what's the even is with us?
27:01
Speaker 1: Fake?
27:01
Speaker 4: Stephen Sagall is with us? What is this top five
27:04
Speaker 4: list about rights?
27:06
Speaker 1: All right?
27:06
Speaker 4: His top five favorite rights?
27:08
Speaker 9: That's right?
27:09
Speaker 4: Yeah, I heard you, Okay, I got r no rights,
27:13
Speaker 4: not riots. He wouldn't have favorite riots.
27:15
Speaker 8: Everybody's got rights in Jefferson County, Louis in the Paris County.
27:19
Speaker 2: All right.
27:20
Speaker 7: Why have you made him sort of a dumb Elvis
27:23
Speaker 7: type of person any reason?
27:25
Speaker 8: It's a strange place to go, dan is Zen, this
27:28
Speaker 8: is how we are, all right, that's right.
27:31
Speaker 7: Number Number five Steven Sagall's fifth favorite right is.
27:37
Speaker 8: The right to bear arms.
27:41
Speaker 9: That's right, especially the right to bear my arms.
27:48
Speaker 4: What the hell was that? So look at that a
27:51
Speaker 4: new twist?
27:52
Speaker 10: Then?
27:53
Speaker 7: Now there you think you're gonna obscure how bad this
27:55
Speaker 7: segment is. By just throwing in a bunch of sounds
27:58
Speaker 7: on some machine gun fire does.
27:59
Speaker 4: Make a lot of bad movies.
28:01
Speaker 7: Better done it, st Got I think Michael Bay's entire
28:03
Speaker 7: career is based on that move.
28:05
Speaker 1: Right.
28:05
Speaker 7: There is there a way that we could slow motion
28:08
Speaker 7: things on this, because if we can make things slow
28:10
Speaker 7: motion on this, we could really we could dress it
28:12
Speaker 7: up a little bit, all right. Number four Steven Seagal's
28:15
Speaker 7: fourth favorite right.
28:17
Speaker 9: The right to remain silent.
28:20
Speaker 2: That's right.
28:27
Speaker 4: No, you see what he did there, Stu Gott. He
28:29
Speaker 4: remained silent. That's right.
28:31
Speaker 7: He remained silent after I noticed, not for long enough, though,
28:34
Speaker 7: I'd say for the joke to work.
28:36
Speaker 1: Got it?
28:37
Speaker 4: You see what I did there? He did that there,
28:39
Speaker 4: he remained silent. Number three the right to an attorney.
28:44
Speaker 2: That's right.
28:45
Speaker 9: It's your right and your mama's.
28:50
Speaker 4: Can we make it a top three and just stop,
28:52
Speaker 4: can we do that?
28:53
Speaker 9: Number two Darrell, that's right, the rail right, just.
29:06
Speaker 4: Right, just about the rest of his family, that would
29:08
Speaker 4: make it right.
29:10
Speaker 7: And number one Steven Segal's favorite right is that's right.
29:16
Speaker 4: My name is Stephen, that's right, step.
29:23
Speaker 2: Roger, Roger that.
29:34
Speaker 4: Finish right to bare arms.
29:38
Speaker 1: Until I go back and listen to these, I forget
29:40
Speaker 1: just how much I loved knowing to hand, because I
29:44
Speaker 1: can guarantee you if I know what happened there. It's like,
29:49
Speaker 1: you know, off the air hocke like it's enough, like
29:51
Speaker 1: it's just these aren't going anywhere. No, no, no, I've
29:53
Speaker 1: dressed it up. You're gonna love this, this this works now.
29:57
Speaker 1: Knowing full well all I was going to do was
30:01
Speaker 1: the guns, I realized, like my enjoyment didn't come from
30:07
Speaker 1: doing the bit.
30:08
Speaker 2: My enjoyment from him like a.
30:11
Speaker 1: False billing goods. Today and over and over.
30:18
Speaker 11: I wonder why you hate some Oh what anshle I was?
30:27
Speaker 1: I guarantee you I sold that hard like no, no, no,
30:30
Speaker 1: I've worked out the kinks. This thing has legs, trust me.
30:33
Speaker 1: This thing is like dressed up, it's like a it's
30:36
Speaker 1: like a symphony at this point, and I.
30:38
Speaker 2: Remember Dan asking me, but it was so good. I
30:43
Speaker 2: remember him asking me should we continue with this bid?
30:46
Speaker 3: And I would always just support you and so and
30:49
Speaker 3: it was also like a five minute really for me, and.
30:51
Speaker 2: So yeah, let's go, let's keep doing it. I trust,
30:56
Speaker 2: we trust. Yes.
30:57
Speaker 1: Finally it all came to a head and I was
31:00
Speaker 1: able to secure the actual Stephen Segaal to appear on
31:06
Speaker 1: the show. This was not an easy get no, and
31:10
Speaker 1: we got Steven Sagall on the show, and then Dan
31:14
Speaker 1: towards the end of the interview. He was not fun
31:17
Speaker 1: or interesting. He wasn't introspective, he wasn't anything that you
31:22
Speaker 1: would imagine. He wouldn't have been anyway. He just he
31:27
Speaker 1: was very slow and methodical, and you know, I I
31:33
Speaker 1: but he he was Steven Sagall everything that you would see.
31:36
Speaker 1: But Dan, we had planned like, hey, are you going
31:40
Speaker 1: to do the fake Steven Sagall for him? I said,
31:42
Speaker 1: if you call for it, I'm there. And here's what
31:45
Speaker 1: happened on the air.
31:46
Speaker 7: Would you do us the honor of talking to a
31:48
Speaker 7: character we've created here called the fake Stephen Sagall? We
31:51
Speaker 7: could try.
31:53
Speaker 8: Hey, Stephen, I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm the
31:58
Speaker 8: fake Stephen Segal. That's right, fake Steven Segal.
32:04
Speaker 4: How do you feel about that?
32:07
Speaker 1: He's got a.
32:07
Speaker 12: Kind of a raspy voice there.
32:10
Speaker 4: As do you.
32:14
Speaker 1: Kazoon nights?
32:16
Speaker 7: Yeah, well that's close.
32:18
Speaker 4: You don't like you very much?
32:20
Speaker 9: Yeah, he's not bad, he's pretty good.
32:23
Speaker 4: How about this?
32:24
Speaker 8: I want to clean up Jefferson County, Louisiana, Paris County.
32:33
Speaker 1: That's the only clip I have from that.
32:35
Speaker 2: I think that laugh was on for a sue.
32:38
Speaker 1: He liked it. He liked you by the end, he
32:40
Speaker 1: liked it.
32:42
Speaker 2: You made him love the whole thing.
32:44
Speaker 1: He's like, God, would you like to hear from the
32:46
Speaker 1: fake steven Sga. We can try, Okay.
32:52
Speaker 2: I can't stand when people come on the air and
32:54
Speaker 2: do that. It's like, just.
32:57
Speaker 1: Don't give a ship. What the fuck are you doing?
33:01
Speaker 2: Danza?
33:06
Speaker 1: Anyway, there you go. There's your travel back in time
33:08
Speaker 1: to the era that Steven Segall dominated Levotard Show airwaves.
33:15
Speaker 2: O my god, how long did that last? Do you remember?
33:19
Speaker 1: I don't think more than a few months, but I
33:24
Speaker 1: had lost interest in it. The It was like one
33:26
Speaker 1: of those things where I couldn't wait for steven Sagall
33:29
Speaker 1: law man, you know, because this is still back when
33:30
Speaker 1: episodes would drop every week. It wasn't like streaming services
33:34
Speaker 1: was on A and E and I think Man probably
33:36
Speaker 1: by the eighth week, second month or so, I was
33:40
Speaker 1: reading watching the show. I didn't want anything anything to
33:44
Speaker 1: do with it anymore. Dan had certainly run its course.
33:48
Speaker 2: He wanted nothing to do with it. Never wanted Segal
33:52
Speaker 2: on the show again.
33:53
Speaker 3: I was asking because Chuck Norris like it took a
33:55
Speaker 3: lot longer for us to get here.
33:58
Speaker 2: R infactuation.
33:59
Speaker 1: He wasn't as function. This kind of is great punctious.
34:01
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, he wasn't worth having on again right, yes,
34:06
Speaker 3: taking good and talk to my.
34:12
Speaker 1: Anyway. If you want to hear something on the podcast
34:14
Speaker 1: radio Mark Hawkman on Instagram, just DM me and I
34:19
Speaker 1: will of course get back to you and hopefully get
34:21
Speaker 1: to something like that. And if you want a cameo
34:24
Speaker 1: from me and Stu Gotts, go on to the cameo
34:27
Speaker 1: app search for Mark Hawkman. You want a great restaurant
34:30
Speaker 1: in Delray Beach, Burton Max's or Deck eighty four. And
34:37
Speaker 1: we end every podcast with Stu Gotts giving three nicknames
34:43
Speaker 1: for athletes. This is his special ability. Today is National
34:47
Speaker 1: Superhero Day, the day that we're taping this and so
34:50
Speaker 1: this is your superpower.
34:51
Speaker 2: Yes it is.
34:52
Speaker 1: Know all the athletes nicknames.
34:54
Speaker 3: Yes, I just can't get over right at number two,
34:58
Speaker 3: show Hate.
34:59
Speaker 1: That was a good one. Show Heyo Tani beat the
35:04
Speaker 1: Marlins last night in the ninth. I don't know if
35:06
Speaker 1: you saw that. Show Heo Tani's nickname is.
35:10
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I don't think I know show Heyo Tani's nickname.
35:14
Speaker 2: Should I know show he Tani's nickname.
35:15
Speaker 1: You're gonna be angry when you hear it and you don't.
35:21
Speaker 2: All right, I don't know. I'm disappointed in.
35:22
Speaker 1: Myself, Taylor. You know Showtime, Showtime.
35:26
Speaker 2: Let's lame.
35:27
Speaker 1: I mean, come on, well, most nicknames are, aren't they
35:31
Speaker 1: Because most nicknames are just a derivative of the name.
35:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I know, but Showtime. I mean.
35:40
Speaker 3: Fine, I mean it's just it's lazy, is what I'm
35:42
Speaker 3: trying to say. My name is Sho hey o Tani.
35:44
Speaker 3: My nickname is Showtime. I mean, do better.
35:46
Speaker 1: How about in that line of thought, Damian Lillard, Dame
35:54
Speaker 1: same Time, Dame Time, Same Time? Are we giving them
35:57
Speaker 1: credit for that one?
35:59
Speaker 2: Playing a game?
36:00
Speaker 3: Emerged athletes with department stores yesterday and it was Damian Dillard's.
36:08
Speaker 2: Dame Time.
36:08
Speaker 4: Taylor knows.
36:09
Speaker 2: I know Dame Time, Otani, I had no idea. I
36:11
Speaker 2: did not know. They called him show tod.
36:14
Speaker 1: How about and some of these like I don't even
36:18
Speaker 1: know Earl Monroe, Pearl, Earl of Pearl? You ever heard
36:26
Speaker 1: of him, Taylor.
36:28
Speaker 4: Nick legend?
36:30
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, the first and only time your Knicks won
36:34
Speaker 3: an NBA championship.
36:36
Speaker 1: Yes, how about?
36:37
Speaker 2: Uh, Hawka is not rooting for the Knicks.
36:40
Speaker 12: Just so you know, Taylor, he's rooting for your misery
36:45
Speaker 12: about Jeremy Lynn lin sanity, insanity, linsanity.
36:51
Speaker 3: So the cover he was on a backpage of the
36:52
Speaker 3: New York Post for like seventeen consecutive days.
36:55
Speaker 1: I can't believe you didn't get show. Hey, Otani, that's
36:57
Speaker 1: a show.
36:58
Speaker 2: Very upset with myself. It's to sit with me for
37:00
Speaker 2: the entire day.
37:01
Speaker 1: You really can understand. I don't like it, man, I
37:04
Speaker 1: mean so he uh, he's in the argument for the
37:09
Speaker 1: greatest athlete that we have ever witnessed.
37:12
Speaker 2: I know, but listen, I understand how great of a
37:15
Speaker 2: baseball player he is. But there's something a little nefarious
37:18
Speaker 2: and shady.
37:18
Speaker 3: Going on there right, Like I don't care how much
37:20
Speaker 3: money you have in your bank account? You notice when
37:22
Speaker 3: fourteen million dollars is missing, I mean flee.
37:25
Speaker 1: Well not if you don't speak the language, it should
37:27
Speaker 1: be jail time.
37:28
Speaker 3: If you don't know the language.
37:42
Speaker 1: All right, you're going to do it for us. That's right,
37:45
Speaker 1: that's gonna do it for us.
37:48
Speaker 2: Showt and I hear I say showtime. That's right, show.
37:52
Speaker 1: Tup, that's right.
37:55
Speaker 4: Shut down, wear mama, what's dougats?
38:01
Speaker 1: And Hockman