Latest / Inspiring Human Potential / Working things out the functional adult/emotional grown up way is what brings out the best in you and helps to heal trauma - Inspiring Human Potential podcast host Maria Florio

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Working things out the functional adult/emotional grown up way is what brings out the best in you and helps to heal trauma - Inspiring Human Potential podcast host Maria Florio · Inspiring Human Potential

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  There is something about being on camera and knowing that
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  YouTube likes to keep things a little bit, PG, more than when
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  you're listening to audio podcast that hasn't made me
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  reconsider re-recording this lovely episode.
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  So today we get to talk about working things out, the
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  functional adult emotional grown-up way and see it was very
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  grown-up and very emotional but again not necessarily the best
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  format for or video because there is, again, something about
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  video. I also felt like it's one thing
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  if we're face-to-face for real, it's another thing.
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  If it's online you go, it gets misunderstood.
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  So this is what brings out the best in you thinking things
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  through. Now this is a beautiful part of
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  that indictment. So a trip journey of a secure
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  attachment Journey. A person who's moving into being
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  a functional, don't emotionally. It begins from day one that we
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  can have. Made certain types of choices,
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  of course, and with the stories. So one of the stories that I'll
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  never forget, was the ugly duckling.
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  The one where, you know, you get taught.
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  If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
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  And then I moved into my lovely teenagers and I saw a lot of
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  what I considered, immature behavior that, I then grew up to
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  see in the same form and that I then got to learn from the levy
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  trauma. Experts that I'm learning from
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  and the somatic experts and the Attic experiencing experts about
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  this thing called adaptive child, emotional response, which
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  would be unforgiving, harsh seeing things in a black and
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  white way. As well as the empirical data
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  that shows how overgeneralize statements keeps people and just
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  keeps anyone stuck in. It can be a trauma response from
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  different areas and reasons, one of the ones that they mentioned
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  is PTSD. But here's where trauma is
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  brought about by Abuse and or neglect as well.
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  So many households have what others will deem, you know, a
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  great household and instead it's not great for the nervous
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  system. So it's not because parents are
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  doing it on purpose, there's a lack of knowledge that we held
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  prior to technology, allowing us to see within the human body.
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  And by the way, the polyvagal theory, which is very important
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  to all of this stuff is still in the works of allow Allowing the
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  empirical data to build the way that our quantitative scientists
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  need in order to prove things to each other.
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  So, you know, it is what it is. Now the part that gets me a
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  little bit, more is not the academics and how it works.
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  I have a master's in international relations and
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  diplomacy and I still remember learning how to conduct a
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  research paper as well as doing statistics.
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  So that I may know about the mean and the average and blah
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  blah blah. And you know, it's interesting
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  how subjective it is when it Used to the idea that
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  qualitative or quantitative one is better than the other because
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  within a research field academically speaking, there are
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  different opinions about that but depending on what type of
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  teacher you get, there you go. You got to go with what they
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  will prefer, or you can get penalized for it.
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  That would be implicit bias, which is very funny to me to
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  have met it in my bachelor's years as well.
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  So, here you go. People who are Educators don't
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  even recognize that they implicitly will.
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  Conduct a grading process based on their own preference, but I
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  as a person who has an objective, look at me and others
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  was like, okay, I'm pretty sure I know where this came from and
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  in fact, I actually defended one of my grades and by basically
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  outlining, you told us to do x, y z, d e, f g.
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  Here's where I did x y z, d e, f g your grade doesn't make sense
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  and my grade did it. Get changed now, had I made an
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  Ization. Not only would that have been
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  unproven, but it also would not have had me be listened to.
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  So again, empirical data, we got it.
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  It works a certain way. But in the meantime, those of us
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  who are actually compassionate because, you know, here's the
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  other part, What I added to today's title is working things
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  out, the functional adult. Emotional grown-up way is what
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  brings out the best in you and helps to heal trauma.
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  So some of us learn the right silence, it's not because we
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  don't see behind what it is is because what we see is really a
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  nervous system of a person that's in a sympathetic or
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  dorsal bagel. And we intuitively.
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  I was a teenager. I just called it a good gut
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  feeling intuitively. We know things and intuitive.
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  They are heart as a human being. Also knows one thing that if
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  what you did wasn't nice and it didn't make me feel very happy
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  about it. And emotionally speaking, I
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  think, I would not want to do the same thing to you.
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  So the aspect of actually consciously choosing is very
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  straightforward. Now here's the part about where
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  people who have a rigid and therefore, not an integrated
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  brain, which is where the people who are not insecure attachment
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  stand. If they have a rigid, my And
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  that moves into a unforgiving and harsh place because of
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  unresolved trauma, which isn't their conscious choice and it
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  isn't their infant choice, and it wasn't their parents choice
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  either and so on and so forth. So when we actually look at what
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  is evolutionary science, I believe that's a term that I can
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  use but there is a whole field of evolutionary science that
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  accompanies the Neuroscience. The updated trauma-informed.
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  Experts there is, what is called the fact that That our posture
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  of Shame comes because of a number of findings of how, you
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  know, when we'd be kicked out of that tribe, man.
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  We'd be funding for our life from lions bears.
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  Tigers, Aha. And, you know, people think this
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  is bullshit and I'm like, okay because I don't have an official
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  license and I'm not doing my education so that I may become a
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  therapist. I'm doing it because I'm a
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  mentor. Consultant podcast host, many
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  different online, entrepreneurship words that
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  people love to use and then they don't commit to.
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  So, you know, I'm Educated so that I can actually help people
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  to move into their inner well-being.
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  It's not to flaunt it around like, you know, little badge of
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  honor or something like that. So what I was trying to get at
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  is that if people actually learned everything about being a
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  human with curiosity, not with fear, which is inside what
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  people do. So, they're looking at this
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  information to label each other and to Define each other, which
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  by the way, you should just, you know, go get tested.
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  If you have wondering, you know, Oh, this is one of those things.
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  I saw this one person and this is an expert.
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  And I'm thinking, dude, you they made a statement that I
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  completely thought was an appropriate because of their
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  academic background, you'd think that they would make a specific
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  type of suggestion. So if I ever wondered, if any of
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  my loved ones had any type of Behavioral situation that
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  creates a such a distressful situation, I Not accuse them by
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  naming them. So, I wouldn't name call, which
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  is where I see a bunch of people loving to use name-calling.
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  No, I would actually sit them down and say, you know, maybe we
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  should go together to check out if there are things that are
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  actually, they can actually diagnose it for real.
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  And, oh, by the way, they are looking to update that as well,
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  in time, we need to wait for the empirical data on the polyvagal
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  theory, and other aspects that are lovely meant.
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  Oh Health Community. Thank goodness they're there.
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  Keep on doing research. So I am very honored to know
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  that academe exist by the way. This is the other part where I
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  see people dissing college and I'm thinking oh I thought we
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  were past the whole let's stay illiterate and I thought we were
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  advancing in a good way but the Divide this is where people are
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  looking to their groups. I want only my education from
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  the group that speaks about things the way that I feel or I
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  think is, right? And then we look to our past
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  again segment, and the segmentation that's the
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  separation Consciousness. If we're going to be in our best
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  behavior, I'd say starts with actually, how do you treat your
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  neighbor? And do you ever wonder that if
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  they are actually in a bad mood, you know, that that is not
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  because they're just choosing to be in a bad mood.
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  So when people choose splinters and therefore, they create
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  ruptures within their loved ones their connections, you know, the
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  whole cancel culture that is out there.
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  Not only do people use the word toxic and in ways that again,
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  it's like name-calling, they're not actually supporting each
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  other to heal, they don't see the compassion.
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  So, some of us do this is the 5 DC, those who want to become at
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  the very least, they're secure attachment version if they
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  choose to move into that Enlightenment.
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  So they droop. There's other things that we
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  look into, that's, I get very passionate on the episode.
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  So yeah, it's a bit of explicit content.
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  If you tuned in just a for, I like I said, video doesn't I
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  feel very right to share it and there is something about faces,
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  but if we were face to face that might look a little bit
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  different, it depends on how you feel about curse words.
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  I know some people they grew up, but they still feel like e
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  yucky. So, long story short, when we
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  learn to actually work, things out with emotions that involve
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  love and compassion, and patience and understanding and
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  being able to have fun together. It's a whole different story.
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  And we do help people to heal from trauma.
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  Instead of blocking From them or canceling them or you know name
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  calling them and other things up.
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  Don't result in anything. So I look forward to hearing
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  your questions or thoughts and you episodes you'd like to hear
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  about let me know and have a great day.
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  From them or canceling them or you know name calling them and
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  other things up. Don't result in anything.
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  So I look forward to hearing your questions or thoughts and
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  you episodes you'd like to hear about let me know and have a
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  great day.