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Can narcissists sense it when you are doing better and moving on? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So can a narcissist sense it when you are doing better, when
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  you are feeling better, when you are moving on?
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  Is there something in the ether that comes to a narcissist and
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  wakes them up and just makes them think that you are doing
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  better? What is going on there?
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  That's what we talked about today, y'all.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist myself and I'm here to give you
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  the perspective inside look at the mind of a narcissist and how
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  a narcissist mind works. As you can see, I'm filming in
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  my living room. I like to change the scenery up
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  here and there just to give y'all just to keep you a guess
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  and just to keep you on your, on your PS and QS right.
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  But as the time goes, as narcissistic people are growing
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  as we are doing what we need to do.
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  Like, I do believe that y'all, you might not believe me, but I
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  do personally believe that there are a lot of narcissistic people
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  they can pick up on when you're doing better or when you're
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  about to leave them. That might be worth of a whole
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  different video. Can narcissist sense when you're
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  about to leave? Yeah, that might be the whole
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  different video. But yes, they can damn near
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  sense when you're about to leave, but they can definitely
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  sense it when you're doing better, when you're finally
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  move, finally, finally having the strength and power to move
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  on, to leave them alone, to block them, to go no contact.
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  They can tell, but Lee, how can they tell if we don't?
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  How can they tell if we're not talking to them or they don't
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  see us at all? How can they tell?
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  Tell us, Lee That's what I'm trying to do here, right?
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  A lot of times when you break up with a narcissist or they break
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  up with you, very not often is the relationship completely just
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  over like from day one of the breakup.
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  There's no contact, there's no there's no more interactions
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  that could happen right? There could be there could be
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  some absolute ghosting going on right, but that doesn't happen
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  all the time. So when you break away the
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  narcissist, a lot of the time y'all are still in communication
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  for whatever reason could be kids, it could be because you're
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  trauma bonded or whatever the case may be right.
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  So if if this is going on and you're trauma bonding to this
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  person that things are not going the way that you want them to go
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  or you like, if you are consistently reaching out to
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  them, if you're always responding to them when they
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  message you or you picking the phone up when they call or you
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  emailing them back or when they ask to see you, you go see them,
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  right? Even after the breakup is up,
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  even after y'all broken up or the relationship is over with, a
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  lot of times you're still in contact with them.
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  You're still picking the phone up, you're still at their beck
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  and call, right? So when that behavior shifts,
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  when a narcissist can sense that you're not responding as fast as
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  you used to, you're not calling them back, you're not picking
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  the phone up on the first ring, you're not emailing them back in
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  a timely manner. Like the communication on your
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  end of things has started to shift and they can tell that
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  right there. So when you're, when the
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  communication on your end of things has started to shift,
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  that's when they can get that sense that things are changing,
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  right? That you have decided to take
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  your power back and move on in some way, shape or form.
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  That's when they can sense it because you have ceased the
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  communication or you have stopped communicating with them
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  as much as you used to, right? Your communication level has
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  went down. You're not, you're not
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  responding to them ASAP. You're taking your time, you're
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  reading, you're going out with your friends.
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  Like they see your behavior shifting.
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  So in their minds, you are moving on, you are doing better.
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  You see what I'm saying? So when you're not, so if you
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  used to be a homebody, we when you were with that narcissistic
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  person, right, y'all, when y'all were together, you were a
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  homebody. You rarely went out.
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  You didn't, like I said, you didn't do too much on your own
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  that you were always in the house pretty much right.
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  So if you go out and you start posting pictures of you going
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  out and doing things, if you going out and having fun with
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  your friends, you're going out. You back with your, you back
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  hanging with your family members, you're going, you're
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  going out doing stuff. They can see it.
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  It's not just a sense. It seems like a sense, but they
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  can see it. There are context clues in front
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  of them. They see you going out having
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  fun, and a lot of times they don't want that.
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  They don't want you going out having fun, even if they
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  themselves are going out and having fun.
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  I know that sounds stupid. I know.
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  Yeah, I know how dumb that sounds like.
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  I trust me. I get, I I'm one of the people
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  who get it. I'm like, I know that.
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  That sounds ridiculously stupid to sit right here and try to
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  hold somebody else back from moving on when you yourself have
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  already moved on. You don't want somebody else
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  doing good because in a narcissist's mind, the better
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  you are doing, the worse it makes me feel.
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  Because it makes me feel less than the better you are doing,
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  the more that you are moving on with your life.
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  It makes me feel smaller. It makes me feel less.
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  So if I'm feeling less, if I'm not doing as good as I used to,
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  You see how that works right there.
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  You see the mentality that goes into it right there?
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  That's what ends up happening. Like they see you moving on.
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  So it's just like it made me feel bad about myself.
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  And I know. Yeah, again, I know that sounds
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  stupid, like the fact that somebody else moving on makes
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  you feel bad after you've treated them horribly.
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  It sounds dumb, but this is how in the mind of a narcissist, it
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  makes sense. It does.
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  Like in my mind it makes sense because like, OK, I'm allowing
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  myself. I'm, I'm going forward.
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  I'm doing all of these things for myself.
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  I have this type of stuff going on like I'm moving on.
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  And because I left you high and dry because I discarded you,
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  you're going to take a while to heal.
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  So when you first, when you finally start to heal, it makes
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  me feel less than because now my ego is taking a hit.
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  Because if you're moving on, in my mind, I feel threatened.
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  If you're moving on from a narcissist, in their minds, they
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  feel threatened because the possibility does exist that
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  you're going to find somebody that's better than them and damn
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  near every single way possible. Taller, stronger, faster, you
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  know what I mean? More physically attractive, more
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  money, whatever it is, better buy, whatever it is, right?
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  You're going to find somebody that's better than them.
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  And this in their mind is going to make me feel so bad.
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  The possibility that the possibility exists that you find
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  somebody better, that is going to drive me crazy and that that
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  that type of stuff happens. And This is why when a
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  narcissist senses that you are doing better or they see that
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  you're doing better, they see that you're feeling better, they
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  feel like you're not reaching out to them as much.
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  Your communication has went down, like all this stuff
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  started to happen. So This is why they start to
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  reach back out to you sometimes and sometimes y'all like I I was
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  literally live on zoom. Not on zoom.
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  I was live on TikTok a little while ago and a woman said it.
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  So I was doing better and he started reaching out to me and
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  getting angry that I was doing better even though he was with
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  his baby Mama. I see you on Facebook posting
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  all posted up and stuff like what?
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  What are you trying? To what point are you trying to
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  prove, huh? What point am I trying to prove?
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  I'm trying to prove that I'm moving on, I'm living my life,
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  that I'm not just sitting here sad as hell all the time.
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  That's the point I'm trying to prove.
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  What about you? You ain't got to throw it in
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  everybody's face. What are you talking about?
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  I'm just posting my life. They get jealous and try to make
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  you feel insecure or guilty about moving on.
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  And some of them, y'all, I'm going to be real with you.
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  Sometimes they will try to Hoover you when you move on,
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  when you're doing better. This is a prime opportunity for
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  a narcissist to try to come back into your life and just get
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  disruptive. Be a disruptive force in your
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  life. When you're feeling better, when
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  you're doing better. It's prime time for a narcissist
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  to come back into your life and be a disruptive force.
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  It just is. It's one of those things that
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  can happen to you and they will ruin your damn life.
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  They will think about like this. Y'all, when you leave a
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  narcissist and you over time as you started to get better,
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  you're inevitably going to go on a glow up journey.
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  You're going to glow up and you're going to start looking
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  better. You're going to start feeling
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  better. You might start losing weight.
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  You might start gaining the weight you lost back.
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  You change your hairstyle change.
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  You might go do something for yourself.
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  You might start working out more.
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  Whatever, you might lose weight, gain weight, whatever.
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  You're going to start feeling better.
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  Your energy is going to start being better.
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  You're going to start taking opportunities that you, they
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  were never presented for you when you were with this person.
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  So inevitably you're going to be doing better when you're not
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  with this person. It might take a little while to
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  get there. So when you start doing better
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  without this person, they're going to feel a certain type of
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  way because now you can start when you start looking good and
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  say, OK, like, damn, I, I ain't know you had all that back
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  there. When you get that, you see what
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  I'm saying? They'll you start dropping the
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  kids off. If you, if you all have kids
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  together, they'll start making comments on your body and how
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  you look. They'll start complimenting you
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  and stuff like that. Things that they might have used
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  to do, they might not have done in a long time.
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  So they can sense it, they can see it sometimes.
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  Sometimes they can see it. You glowing up like the, you're
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  on a, you literally on a glow up journey.
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  And they are, they are witnesses to it.
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  And a lot of them hate the fact that you are witnessing their
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  glow up journeys. You know, a lot of they, they,
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  they only have to witness. They can only witness it.
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  They're not participants in your glow of journey, they're only
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  witnesses and they hate it, y'all because they're thinking
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  in their minds. In my mind, when you're glowing
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  up, I think it's somebody. I think you doing it with
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  somebody else, right? I'm always imagining you being
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  with somebody else. I'm always imagining y'all
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  clapping cheeks or whatever the case may be.
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  Y'all having a family together, y'all building a life together,
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  y'all traveling the world together, whatever.
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  So now in my mind, it's hurting. I'm hurting my own feelings
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  thinking about you glowing up. Do you want to hurt a
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  narcissist? Glow up.
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  You ain't glow up now I just say this.
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  I'll wrap it up with this right here.
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  Y'all don't let them come back into your lives and ruin your
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  peace. Because when a narcissist senses
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  that you're moving on, when they sensing, when they can see that
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  you're moving on, when they can see that you're doing better,
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  when you respond less, when you finally decide to block them or
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  you decide to go no contact with them or whatever the case may
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  be, they're going to assume that you're doing better and they're
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  going to try to come back and wreck shopping your life.
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  Don't rebuild your life, y'all to let?
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  Like it's kind of like rebuilding after a hurricane,
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  right? It's kind of like rebuilding in
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  the same place. Build back better, right?
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  Don't let you know the hurricane is going to come back.
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  Don't let them back in your space.
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  It's like don't build. Don't build in the same spot
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  twice with the same type of materials.
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  It got blew down the first time, right?
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  I know everybody doesn't have that same choice.
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  I know the hurricane might be a bad example, but you get what
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  I'm saying? Like, you know, this place right
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  here has earthquakes and you the last house you know, you know,
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  got swallowed up by an earthquake.
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  You don't want to build a house in the same place when you know
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  the earthquake is coming because they're going to come.
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  Narcissists are earthquake. They're they're agents of chaos.
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  They want to bring chaos into your life in some way, shape or
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  form. Don't allow them to be chaotic
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  in your life and ruin your damn life, y'all.
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  Anyways, y'all, hope you're having a good rest of your day.
• 11:22
  Click one of these videos on the screen and watch another video
• 11:25
  on my channel. Hit the subscribe button.
• 11:27
  Mental illness.net for my coaching, my courses, everything
• 11:30
  else y'all and I'm out. Peace.