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Hypnosis to Break Sexual Addiction and Shame for Something Meaningful · The Hypnotist

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Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
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genuine. Issues.
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Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
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celebrities, CEOs and even royalty, Adam Cox.
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These recordings took place live from Adam's clinic in London's
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world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
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enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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Hi, it's Adam here. Now I'm going to ask you a
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question about sex, and that is that have you ever felt addicted
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to any part of sex? And that might be sex with your
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partner, or it might be porn, or it might be in intrusive
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thoughts, wishful thinking, fantasies, maladaptive
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daydreaming, anything connected to sex.
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These days there are a lot of people that are addicted to
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making connections on dating apps, whether or not they ever
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see that person gives them a dopamine hit immediately.
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Or it might be following the lives of people on Only Fans,
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for example. Now, the reason why I'm asking
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that question is that this is one of the fastest growing
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addictions. It's an addiction or an
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obsession with things related to sex.
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Because if we go back, let's say 300 years, your ancestors, you
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know, your great, great, great great grandparents would be in a
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small village, you know, or a small town.
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And the amount of attractive people that they might find of a
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similar kind of age might be 3 or 4, you know, and they would
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be the same people over a particular time period, a week
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or so. Let's teleport back into the
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present. And an individual that has
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access to a phone or a laptop has access to over a million
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different people that they would consider attractive.
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And that might be people on dating sites, it might be porn
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actors, whatever it might be, they have the access and the
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brain is hardwired to feel aroused and desire.
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If they ran into the few people that meet their criteria, we
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don't have the same restrictions of the past.
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And I was working with a client that would spend a lot of their
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time, a lot of their energy, and a lot of their money thinking or
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doing things relating to sex. For example, they would see
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escorts or they would go to massage parlours, or they would
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spend lots of time on dating apps with the goal of hookups.
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And what they found is that that gave them a feeling of shame, of
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regret, of emptiness, and they didn't want them.
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They had a deep desire to have something meaningful.
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They wanted a long term relationship, a family, and they
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felt that this obsession was impeding their ability to get
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what they really wanted. So what you're going to
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experience in this hypnosis session involves a form of time
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perspective of imagining going forwards to let's say you're 70
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years old and you get to imagine two different lives of you.
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The one that pursued gratification and lust and
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desire and transactional sex, and the other that found
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something meaningful. And by having those polar
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opposites, it enables you to figure out your value system as
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to what you really want. And the key here is what you
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want. There are people, and I've
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worked with them, they don't want long term relationships,
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they don't want a family. What they want is they want the
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convenience and the attraction of something short term, but
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there are people that really want something that society
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would consider more meaningful. So this hypnosis session is
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going to enable you to see what is important to you and to
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create the emotional leverage to create a change if that's
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something that you want to do. Now it was created for an
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individual. Some of these references, some
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of these suggestions were perfect for the client, and they
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might not be relevant for you. So I'm going to encourage you to
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utilize any suggestions that are useful, disregard any that
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aren't. And if you'd like the idea of a
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bespoke session created just for you and your situation, there
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will be a link in the description where you can book a
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free consultation call or you can check out my website,
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adamcox.co.uk. Book a free consultation call
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there and we'll have a chat. You might get some value from
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this and not need to do any of those things, but just know that
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that is a possibility. So for now, find a quiet,
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comfortable place where you're not going to be distracted or
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disturbed. Relax and enjoy the session.
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Take a deep breath in, and as you breathe in, breathe in that
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resourceful feeling of calm relaxation.
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And as you exhale, feel that wonderful feeling of release and
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just imagine you're releasing any emotions, either present or
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past, that have been holding you back.
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Breathe in a feeling of personal pride and exhale any shame.
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Breathe in that feeling of meaning and exhale whatever
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feels meaningless. Breathe in a feeling of
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intention and exhale any feelings of regret.
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That's it. And the deeper you breathe, the
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more relaxed you can feel. And the more relaxed you can
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feel, the deeper it's possible to breathe.
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And I want you to imagine. Imagine staring into a mirror.
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But this mirror is no ordinary mirror.
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It's a portal back in time to your past.
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And I want you to see a version of you deeply fulfilled because
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you found meaning. And maybe it's a time that you
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were about to embark on a humanitarian trip.
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Maybe it was a time that you were obsessed, focused on a
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sport. Maybe it was a time surfing
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waves, connecting with nature and the sunshine.
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And I want you to imagine stepping into the mirror and
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finding yourself in that memory. But to begin with, not in your
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own body, but as an observer to a different time in your life.
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Now I want you to see what you look like when you had purpose,
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a goal, an objective, when you were doing something with the
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consideration of others. Maybe that's the results of a
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team performance, helping people in a different continent with
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different needs. Or perhaps just connecting with
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something beyond yourself, maybe nature, maybe something
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spiritual. Most people connect nature with
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that spiritual feeling because of the power, complexity, the
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variety of nature. As you observe that version of
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you, I want you to notice that when you are driven by meaning,
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when you are pursuing something valuable, beneficial, useful,
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notice in that version of you how easy it is to say no to
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anything that represents gratification.
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I want you to get a sense that when you've eaten something
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delicious, your desire to snack on something processed and
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artificial is reduced. And I want you to imagine that
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life offers real, whole, or authentic experiences, but it
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also offers synthetic, synthesized substitutes.
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I want you to get a sense then, if someone was a child and all
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the way up until age 70 they only ate real foods, Whole
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Foods, nutritious foods, they would look different at 70 than
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if they spent their whole life chasing artificial processed
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synthetic foods. In fact, they may never even get
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to 70 if they were pursuing short term pleasure but at a
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very high price. And as you breathe in and
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breathe out, see a version of you that in that moment didn't
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want the fake stuff. You were pursuing something real
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and meaningful. Notice how that version of you
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is breathing when they're in a relaxed place.
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Maybe sitting on a chair, lying down, resting, relaxing.
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Breathe the way that version of you breathe.
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Mimic the facial expressions of how that version of you looks.
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Imagine you can read the mind of that version of you.
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Some people believe that where focus goes, energy flows.
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The version of you wanting to improve, get better help, assist
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prepare has no time to think about intrusive, compulsive
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energy draining thoughts. And when you're sure the version
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of you looks relaxed, fulfilled with a connection with yourself,
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let me know by nodding your head.
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And then imagine stepping into that version of you.
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Feel how you would feel feeling fulfilled.
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That there is meaning to your existence.
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You know how to deploy your time, energy and emotions.
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And notice how a desire to seek something gratifying and yet
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unfulfilling is almost non existent.
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You know you can do it, you simply don't want to.
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This is the resource state, not willpower, not self-control.
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Discernment that comes from having high standards of knowing
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that you can, you're just choosing not to.
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You could choose to drink litres and litres of some soda fizzy
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drink and yet you choose not to because you know that any
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gratification is temporary. Those bad feelings of fatigue,
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inflammation, dizziness, or nausea mean that it simply isn't
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worth it. As you connect to that feeling
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of being able to do something and choosing not to, I want you
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to imagine drifting forwards in time to experience a different
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life. I want you to imagine what it
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would be like to have a life where you only pursue something
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that has a rush excitement, but it's contaminated with shame,
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regret and disappointment. It's like a mirage.
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Every time you get close, what you were looking for gets
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further away. And I want you to imagine what
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it would be to live your life from now until 70 in that way.
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You don't want a long term committed relationship in this
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timeline. You want transactional
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relationships, flings, moments, and every now and then you find
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someone that gives you pleasure but not real connection, not
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understanding you're not in this together.
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You're just there right now and imagine the years go on.
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And in your imagination we can create a montage where decades
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become minutes. I want you to imagine 10 years
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of pursuing futile, meaningless relationships on dating apps.
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A decade of paying for sex, a decade of finding physical
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stimulation and gratification that is fundamentally empty.
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And I wonder what a decade of that would feel like.
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And then imagine another decade. Find a reflective surface, a
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mirror, a glass window that you can see your reflection.
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See yourself 10 or 20 years older.
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See the kind of women you're still pursuing.
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As time goes on, I want you to get a sense of the shame is
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getting worse, may be contaminated now with
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embarrassment. It may have been the illusion in
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the past that a real moment was being shared.
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But as time goes on, you feel that you are simply a customer.
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That transactional relationship feels like something is being
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extracted from you and you're getting less and less in return.
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Whatever pleasure you've had in the past seems to be getting
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less and less until it feels numb, meaningless, pointless,
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where your inner dialogue is screaming at you, why did I do
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this? What's the point?
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And yet you continue. Another decade goes by, still
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pursuing those things that are transactional, meaningless,
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predictable to some extent, but novel.
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The faces change, the dynamics remain the same, and I want you
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to imagine something, something happens that can't be undone.
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Maybe it's an infection, a disease.
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Maybe blackmail or something embarrassing, maybe violence,
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maybe something else. I want you to imagine that even
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that does not put you off. You put it down to a near miss
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or something you can explain away.
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And you continue. And imagine this continuing all
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the way until you're celebrating your 70th birthday alone.
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Imagine you with a cake and no one else around.
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No children, no grandchildren, no partner.
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Just you blowing out candles with the number 70.
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And in that moment, you reflect back at the point where you
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can't change your past, only think about your past.
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I wonder what you would have wanted to have done differently
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if only you could at that age, knowing what you now know, would
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you trade in all of those flings and moments for something real?
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Would you trade pleasure with joy, gratification with
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happiness? Connection, even a fake
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connection with real love? Commitment, support,
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understanding? And if you're unconscious?
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From this perspective, it's clear just because you can do
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these things doesn't mean you want to.
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And if you're unconscious, is willing to change the trajectory
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to follow a different path, let me know by nodding your head.
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And I want you to imagine considering a different scenario
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still from the perspective of that 70 year old.
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Imagine you at your current age making a decision instead of
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waiting until you're in a relationship to delete those
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apps, block those websites. Imagine that version of you does
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it before. Imagine that version of you sets
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a new boundary, a new standard. Imagine that version of you over
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the next few weeks does something less and less and less
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until it's not there anymore. Imagine that version of you at
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that age. Find something truly meaningful,
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a mission, What if the thrill of pursuit
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moves from temporary to something more permanent?
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What if the thrill of the chase is to find that one person?
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And what if the criteria for that one person is then?
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For them, you wouldn't want to be with anyone else, Not
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virtually, not temporarily, not transactionally.
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For them, you wouldn't want to. More importantly for you, you
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wouldn't want to. And I want you to see a whole
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different timeline developing where you have less
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gratification and more real joy. You have less game playing and
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more real, authentic conversations.
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That version of you moves from short term temporary goals to
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how you want your life to be. And I want you to see those two
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timelines diverge. The version of you that
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continued, and the version of you that takes a different path.
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And I want you to see that version of you.
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Perhaps find someone, commit to that relationship.
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Maybe it leads to children, a family, because you've traded in
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thousands of hours of time. You've got money, time and
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emotion to really invest in a business.
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See that business flourish, See that version of you get more
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dopamine and satisfaction and pride and less of that regret,
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shame and disappointment. And then imagine there's a knock
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at the door and you invite someone else to come in to share
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your birthday cake. It's the other 70 year old
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version of you, but they bring in their wife, the children,
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their grandchildren. It's you in a different timeline
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and I want you to see how different they are to that
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version of you that stayed on that path.
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Your unconscious will tell you the differences.
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Maybe they have less shame and more pride.
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Maybe they've got more accomplishments, fond memories
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and less regrets. Maybe there's less
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disappointments and more feelings of gratitude.
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Maybe there's less emptiness and more fulfilment.
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You'll know and then decide life you want to build.
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Sometimes we need to make it black and white to make it clear
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what needs to be done. And if your unconscious is
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clear, what kind of life you want, let me know.
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If we're nodding your head. Step into that version of you
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and imagine going back in time to your physical body right now,
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knowing, knowing that you can choose each of these two futures
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and everything in between. No one's forcing you to be a
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certain way. It's what you're choosing.
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And if you know what you want, you now have meaning.
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You now have a purpose. You now have a plan, and every
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time you do things that align with that version of you, you
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will feel more fulfilled. You will feel less empty, and
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the clue's on the way. Whenever you feel gratitude,
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pride, and accomplishment, you know you're in that version of
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you. And when you feel regret and
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shame and temporarily you've got into the other version of you,
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any one day means nothing. It's what you do consistently
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over decades that will determine who you are in your future.
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And if your unconscious is clear that you can get excitement,
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connection, thrills in so many ways other than temporary sex
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and flings, you can do it from exercise, from nature, from
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moments with a partner. Once you realize that there are
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many ways to get what you've been looking for, the real
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stuff, not the synthetic stuff, somehow it loses its appeal.
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And what if when your unconscious was telling you, why
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am I doing this? What's the point?
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It really meant it. Not from shaming, but from
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curiosity, why am I doing this? What is the point?
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And as those questions create new meanings, you realise you've
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tested out this path and you don't want it.
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You want something real, genuine, fulfilling and other
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stuff. What's the point?
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And as you allow these ideas to take root, imagine the next
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week. Imagine being tested.
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In every hero's journey, the change is tested, and sometimes
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it takes several tests until you are victorious.
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You Vanquish that nemesis. I want you to think of the tests
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over the next few weeks that may test you.
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It may be an emotion, a message, an image.
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And I want you to think of how that version of you that is
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fulfilled would handle those tests.
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And each test that you pass will give you pride, will give you a
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feeling of fulfillment, of connection, of power, that you
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are in control of your life. And every test that has failed
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is merely a temporary set back until enough is enough, until it
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never happens again. And as you hold that thought,
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feel yourself floating back through the mirror, back from
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the future all the way to the here and now with clarity,
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purpose, and a new sense of what you really want.
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And very soon, I will count from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you.
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You will awaken with a new sense of clarity.
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So take a deep breath in through your nose and down through your
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nose. Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your
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toes. Connect and calibrate into the
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here and the now as I now count from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken
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you. Starting to count 123 waking up
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456 More alert 7-8. Open your eyes.
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Open your eyes, 910. Wide awake, wide awake, wide
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awake. Thank you so much for joining me
33:01
on today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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If you've enjoyed this episode or got some value from it.
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Please give it a. Five star rating and review and
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particular episode, in which case share the episode with them
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so they can also get the benefit too.
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And if you would like to listen to this episode where it's just
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the hypnosis, so no intro, no outro, no explanation, just the
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hypnosis and completely ad free. There will be a link in the
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description where you can subscribe at a very low cost and
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only get access to the hypnosis. So if that's of interest, please
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check. That out.
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Thank you again for being a regular listener of The
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Hypnotist and I'll see you again soon for more.