Latest / Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell / Solo Travel After Divorce: Reclaiming Yourself, Healing and Creating Your Own Magic

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Solo Travel After Divorce: Reclaiming Yourself, Healing and Creating Your Own Magic · Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate, a podcast covering all things relationships, separation, and divorce.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: How to create healthy, happy, fulfilling relationships without sacrificing any part of yourself.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Supporting anyone feeling challenged in their relationship or marriage.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: These are confidential conversations for you if you're navigating separation, divorce, or reorganising life afterwards.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Decide whether to stay or leave a relationship or marriage, divorce with less drama, and consciously choose what's next for you.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which this podcast is recorded, the Warren Tree people of the Cullen Nation, and pay my respects to their elders, past, present, and emerging.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: I acknowledge them as the original storytellers of this land.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, and welcome to this week's episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if you follow me on social media, you will most likely know that I have recently returned from a semi-solo trip to Indonesia.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, as I record this, I have not been back in Australia for 48 hours yet.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really disappointed in the weather that Melbourne has turned on, having left uh Indonesia where it was 30 degrees, minimum of 27, maximum of 30.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Feels like I'm back in winter.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Melbourne.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Not.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, today's episode is all about solo travel after divorce, reclaiming yourself and creating your own magic, your own adventure.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it is really based in things that I've learned personally traveling solo since my divorce.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because traveling solo after divorce lands a little differently.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's I find equal parts freedom and fear, excitement and vulnerability.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And even though I've done quite a lot of it, I still get a little anxious in the lead up too.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so I thought I'd share some of what I've learned traveling solo since my divorce, in the hope that it helps and supports you.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's difficult and challenging, right?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're no longer part of a we, and sometimes in you know, significant moments, and holidays can be a significant moment, right?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: That absence really echoes, you know, in the in the airport queue, in the restaurant table for one, or that moment where you check into your accommodation and you realize, hmm, no one actually knows, no one else actually knows where I am.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's a tip actually.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure somebody knows where you are, how to contact you, and that you choose your next of next of kin or your emergency contacts wisely and well.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's a little aside.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: But there's also something really powerful about all of that, about traveling solo.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: It is about you choosing yourself, you choosing your own adventure, you setting your own rhythm.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so here are a few of the things that I've learned solo traveling since my divorce, things that made the experience richer, easier, and at times unexpectedly, perhaps healing.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: So the first tip is choose connection even in solitude.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: So choose connection wrapped up in the solitude.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: So pick somewhere with energy, with people, cafes, markets, boat trips, snorkling trips, cooking classes, yoga classes, whatever it is that you like, but choose something with energy and with people, places where you can opt in or opt out, depending on you on how you feel in the moment day to day.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, a beautiful, luxe, isolated, private resort might look great on a website or in a brochure, but in reality, it can be well, it can be isolated, right?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Isolating, especially when you're navigating that quiet part of being on your own again.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: It can actually feel really lonely, really isolating if you opt into that luxe um resort experience where you're going to be surrounded by honeymoon and couples.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: So choose a space where you can opt in and out of the connection even in the solitude, even if that connection is wrapped in your solitude.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: My next tip is choose a room with a view.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you're going to be on your own, make it somewhere beautiful.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, you can do that on a budget, right?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: This past trip, Eva, my daughter, was on the same island as me at one point, and she was paying$40,$40 Australian dollars a night for a private bungalow air conditioned with access to a pool and local restaurant.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Unbelievable, right?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: So you can do it on a budget, but choose somewhere that feels beautiful to you.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it is a balcony overlooking the beach, a lake, a mountain.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Something that reminds you that you're away and that you made it here and that you chose this because there might be times, and for me, there are often times, when you don't want to be out and about socializing, interacting, engaging.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: You don't necessarily want to be on the go all the time, and that's perfectly okay.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So you can still soak it up, soak it all in from your balcony, from your bed, from your morning coffee spot.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: So choose your space really consciously and intentionally.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I also really like to have an outdoor area, a garden, a terrace, a balcony, somewhere to sit quietly without feeling trapped into your room or forced into socializing with other people.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: So having that middle ground can be really important.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: I find it really matters.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: So choose your spaces intentionally and with care.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Next tip is say yes.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Say yes to small kindnesses because they will pop up.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: They will pop up as you travel, and it's not that people feel sorry for you because you're on your own.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe some do, but whatever.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what I'm talking about here.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: But say yes when somebody offers to help you, when somebody offers to do something for you, when someone offers to take your photo, say yes, even if it feels a bit awkward or weird.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: You will want that memory later.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: And not because like it's perfect and it's styled and it's Instagram worthy, it might be, but because it's you, it's you in a space, being brave, being free, rediscovering yourself.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: So say yes to those small kindnesses or when people offer to do something for you.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Next tip: listen.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Listen before you sit down.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: At breakfast, or when you're opting into a space, just pause and listen and choose your table, choose your space, choose your beach lounge, whatever it is, choose accordingly, choose to opt into the space that feels right for you.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the furthest corner with the ocean view is perfect, sometimes it's the quiet space away from somebody else's really loud conversation.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: So pick your table on your mood.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And as I said, maybe it is the far corner with the best view, and that's what you need, or the quieter spot away from the loud conversations, or maybe it's a stool at the bar to actually invite conversation with others.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: So before you choose your space, pause, have a look, but also listen.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to be surrounded by that really loud group of four people carrying on a really raucous conversation, or do you want to be over the other side quietly, privately?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Listen before you sit.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Next tip: buy the thing.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: In our family, we have a saying that is the red gloves.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Many years ago, and this was actually travelling in Italy with my now ex-husband, I ummed an armed about a beautiful pair of red leather gloves in Florence.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Did not buy them.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Regretted it ever since.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So buy the red gloves, buy the thing.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's a big or a small, beautiful thing, buy the thing.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's the thing that makes you smile, that lifts your heart, that brings you joy, that reminds you and that will remind you of the trip and of what it took to get you there.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: What it took for you to get yourself to that space.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, this last trip, it's incense and it's the local stuff used across Indonesia, especially in Bali every morning in offerings, or something that you've bartered hard for in a market or on the beach.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I did this on this on this last trip.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, pearl anklets bought, but bought from a woman who was approached us on the beach and who obviously was supporting her family.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we had a conversation with her.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: I bought from her, yeah, I barred, I bargained hard, but I also paid her what was fair for her and what felt right for me.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: And we both won, and we both had a conversation and we smiled.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And every time I look at those anklets, I remember that conversation, I remember that moment, I remember that beach.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is for you, buy it.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Tiny acts like this, tiny acts of remembrance really matter, and they help you take the mood, the memory, the feeling, the freedom, the experience home with you to create new rituals for yourself that linger long after the trip, the adventure is over.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Next tip: learn the basics.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Learn how to say thank you, good morning, good evening, please.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: All the basics in the local language.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: You will make friends, you'll open conversations, people will share things with you about their lives and their country that you might never have learned otherwise.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it shows respect, it shows that you're trying, that you see and honour the culture that you're experiencing, their culture, that you don't just assume, you know, hello privilege, that they should speak English just because it's convenient for you and it's your first language.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Words are really powerful, and using local language, yes, even if you butcher it, using local language shows respect for the people you meet, for their language, for their culture.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: And also understand and respect what's acceptable culturally wherever you are.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: So bikinis, wearing a bikini off the beach in a Muslim country is not okay.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Do a tiny bit of research, ask, ask questions, find out what is and is not okay wherever you're traveling, learn the basics and respect where you are.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Next tip talk to people, talk to the locals, talk to the staff serving you, ask them about themselves, ask them about their family, ask them about their country, ask them things about where you're traveling to next.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Ask your co-travelers about where they're from, their experience of this particular place, their stories, where they've been, where they're going.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Be open, be curious, learn about where you are, not just what you can access on a website or in a guidebook.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Learn from the people on the ground, be it locals or co-travelers.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: So open conversation, talk to people, and then you can retreat to your room and and hide out, right?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because you've got a beautiful room with a beautiful outlook.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: My next tip is do the thing.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Whether that's a cooking class, whether that's a cultural walking or cycling tour, a snorkeling trip, that slightly off the beaten path experience you're not quite sure about, just do it.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: You more than likely will not regret doing the thing, but you might regret not doing it.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's a bit like the red gloves, right?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same thing for experiences.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: So what?
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be by yourself.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: I can almost guarantee that you won't be the only solo adventurer, the only solo traveller in the group.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: You might be, but so what?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Are you gonna miss an experience like we just had snorkeling with the most amazing tropical fish and turtles in Indonesia?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Are you gonna miss that because you're too uncomfortable being the solo person in a group?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Do the thing.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Being in a group of strangers solo might feel a bit weird or awkward at first, but honestly, these are the moments, the experiences, the gifts that you'll remember, the gifts that travel brings you.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, whatever it is for you, the boat tour, the conversation, the shared meal, even the quiet moments, the awe of a scene or a cathedral or a museum or an experience, you'll remember doing the thing and being in the experience.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: So be brave and do the thing.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: My next tip is eat local.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Be really brave here.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, do your research for sure, but honestly, eat local.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've traveled extensively through Asia, and yes, I've been other places, but here I want to talk about Asia.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: I've travelled extensively through Asia, lived in Hong Kong, and very rarely have I been unwell and touch wood, touch wood, never been really unwell from eating local food.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: My rule is if I can see it being cooked in front of me, I'm pretty confident.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm unsure, I go vegetarian.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Keep it easy.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: So buy the roasted corn or the roasted chestnuts from the local vendor, buy the fruit from the local market.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: If it's fresh and would be fine unrefrigerated at home, you'll probably be absolutely fine overseas too, which is why I say choose vegetarian.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: Experience the local food in a way that feels okay for you.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: But don't go and eat exactly what you could eat at home.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Be brave enough to choose local dishes and preferably cooked by locals, cooked by local vendors.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Support the local economy.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's my really strong belief that as tourists, as visitors, we have a responsibility not only to contribute financially to the local economy, and in many places, many of the places we visit, especially where our money buys a lot, our money goes far or much further than it possibly would at home.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: The local economies rely heavily on tourism.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: So we also have a responsibility to choose where we can to do that ethically, responsibly, sustainably.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: So where you can have the massage, but choose a local vendor rather than the fancy, probably foreign-owned five-star resort spa.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Eat the food and buy local from the person in the market.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: And where it's appropriate, tip and tip generously.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Many of the people you encounter who are serving you and selling to you may not necessarily be earning a living wage and rely on tips to support themselves and their families.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: So when your money goes far, share it with people who are local.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: But that is actually a whole other podcast in itself and not necessarily related to solo travel after divorce.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: So back we go to the tips.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Let the quiet feel weird.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: It will pass.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Solo travel has a rhythm, and the first day or two, the first maybe entire trip might feel a bit uncomfortable, even lonely.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: You might miss conversation with a companion.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: You might miss that shared commentary on what you're seeing or what you're experiencing.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: But give it time.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: That discomfort, I have found, and I know from others, including coaching clients, that discomfort softens over time and it softens into something else.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Something that feels more like contentment or peace, even joy and happiness, and a real excitement in your own company and gratitude, because you get to choose exactly for yourself.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to compromise, you don't have to consider anybody else.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: You get to choose exactly what you want for yourself.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: And there's always a phone call to a friend at home or a social media post that'll invite chat and commentary and messaging or a text to share with someone else where you're at, what you're experiencing, what you're seeing, what you're feeling.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: So let the quiet in and let it feel weird if it does for you, and know that it will pass.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: The weirdness of that will pass.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Next tip is to bring or carry with you gentle company.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: And by that I mean perhaps it's a journal, perhaps it's a book, perhaps it's your Kindle, maybe it's a podcast like this stuck in your ears.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Not as a shield or a barrier, but as a companion, something to reach for when you're not quite ready just to sit on your own in the silence.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: And also a journal will help you revisit your trip later.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: My daughter Evie is great at keeping a travel journal with all the bits and pieces stuck in it.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: I did it years ago, but I've not been so focused these last few trips, and it's something I actually regret and so plan to pick up again on my next trip and my next trip after that.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, saving the receipts, saving the boat tickets, all the bits and pieces, buying the beautiful postcards, not to send, but to stick in my journal and save as a record and as a reflective process, something that you can look back on and remember.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because journaling, recording your experiences as well as your thoughts and your feelings can be a really powerful tool both for self-discovery and reflection.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it helps you notice things about yourself, it helps you notice patterns, acknowledging your feelings, your emotions without judgment, helps you track your discomfort, moving into comfort, your growth as you navigate, traveling solo, and all of the life changes after separation, divorce, right?
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes just writing down something about your day, a small moment, can remind you how far you've come and how much joy is actually possible when you choose and prioritize you yourself.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: Next tip is trust your instincts, and this goes for life, right?
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is not just a travel tip, but trust your instincts and know that you don't owe anyone your time, your story, your energy, your attention, your smile.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: If something feels off, you can walk away, and if something feels right, you can say yes and step closer, right?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself full permission when you are solo traveling to own your space, your time, your holiday, your trip unapologetically.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: You've carved out this space for you.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let anybody else, even strangers, impact it.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let anybody else, even if it's people from home who are constantly peppering you for, you know, connection and contact if you don't want that.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: Trust your instincts, give yourself full permission to own this time and space for yourself, right?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes trusting your instincts is going to mean choosing the quiet, choosing the silence over conversation.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's going to mean choosing solitude over socializing or conversation or connection, and you don't have to, you don't have to force or accept connection if you don't feel like it.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it's good to have a couple of lines ready to roll out.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: A simple polite thanks, but I'm really enjoying a solo trip.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just taking some time for myself today, I'm really enjoying my own company right now.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you need to block, you know, put the hand up and block somebody coming into that space.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: As I said, whether it's a stranger that you come across on your trip or somebody from home who is messaging, um, checking in or asking for time and attention that you're not comfortable or willing to give, or you're not comfortable to take away from yourself, right?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: So no explanation is needed there, no guilt, no judgment.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: Let your intuition and your Own sense of what you know you want, be your guide.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Respecting it is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself, and the smartest thing, right?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Respecting and trusting your intuition is one of the smartest things you can do while traveling solo.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: My next tip though is allow connection.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Connection will come in small moments because solo traveling doesn't necessarily mean alone all the time.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it might be the waiter who remembers your coffee order.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: It might be a chat with another traveller on a boat or a train or waiting in a line for a museum or a cathedral, right?
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: It might be a shared sunset silence with strangers or the quiet of a yoga class that you've opted into, or that person who tells you about their favourite hidden corner of the city or the island or the place, you know, a hidden beach or cafe, and suddenly you feel connected, you feel connected to this place as well as a small part of the community.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: It might be, as I said earlier, that other traveller, that co-traveller who notices you taking photos and asks if you want them to take one of you.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: It might be a look or a shared laugh with somebody who's also struggling with the same touristy thing or confusion as you are.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Be open to those small interactions, those small connections, the fleeting moments, the kindness of a stranger, a look, a comment, a smile.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes connection arrives in when you're traveling, particularly traveling solo, it arrives in ways that you might not expect and over things that you might not even connect with somebody else if you were at home.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's a reminder though that you're still part of the world, even though you're no longer part of a couple.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's these little threads of connection that remind you in really powerful ways that you belong.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: You belong right here, right now, exactly as you are.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: Next tip: create your own kind of magic.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: Don't chase what you think a holiday should be or should look like or the holiday that you used to have.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is all about you, and it's about changing the way you move through the world and experience the world.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's about you, it's about your joy, it's about your choice, your agency, your curiosity.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: So focus on what makes you feel whatever you want it to feel, whatever you want this trip to feel.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, for me it was nourished and free and peaceful this last trip.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: I really wanted to feel sort of held and nourished, but also free.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: So create your kind of magic, your kind of trip.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that might be a swim at sunrise, it might be a quiet coffee, it might be a cocktail at the bar, it might be listening to some music, local music, local band playing, local musician, it might be being really brave and getting up and having a little dance to that music, whatever it is, and whatever reminds you how much you matter to yourself.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever the magic is for you, go find it, create it.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: Small moments, small experiences that bring you closer to yourself, the version of you that you're returning to, evolving into, discovering or reclaiming.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Create your own little magic moments.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: Next tip rest, don't rush.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you've been here for a while, you know that I will often talk about sacred laziness or rest being necessary through a really rugged season that like divorce, separation, reorganizing life afterwards can be.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to make the most of your trip.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to fill every second, every day, every moment with activity.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what you need, and sometimes doing nothing for those of us who are used to being really busy and really active and really go, go, go, sometimes doing nothing is really challenging, but it can be exactly what you need.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: Rest is not wasted time, particularly on holiday, but they can feel like this pressure to you know go to the museum, see the cathedral, go on a boat trip, or you know, do the hike, whatever it is.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: But rest is not wasted time, it's a chance to reset, it's a chance to recalibrate, it's a chance to be quiet and hear yourself again, to notice what you actually want rather than what you think you should do.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Sit on that balcony, hang around at breakfast, linger over that coffee or that cocktail, or have another cocktail.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: Have an afternoon nap.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: Allow the slow moments to fill you because rest is a form of reclamation too.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: It reminds you that your time, your energy, your presence belong first and foremost to you.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: So rest, don't rush.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: And my last tip is solo travel doesn't have to change life.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Not every trip is amazingly transformational.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: Not every trip is gonna shift you in dramatic ways, and that is perfectly okay.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's just peaceful, sometimes it's just a rest and a reset.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's about it being simply about being yours.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: You might not need epiphanies or life-altering experiences or decisions.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it is enough just to stop, to watch a sunset, to eat a meal that you didn't have to think about, shopping for, preparing, cooking, doing the dishes afterwards, even if that meal doesn't make you taste budsing.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: Preferably it does, but even if it doesn't, maybe it's about noticing how good it feels to be alone and not necessarily lonely.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: So every small moment, whether it's laughter, silence, curiosity, or whatever it is, every small moment on a trip when you when you travel solo is part of returning to yourself.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I circle back to it doesn't have to be groundbreaking, not every moment has to be really important, right?
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: But the entire trip, for me, the point of solo travel is about remembering and returning to myself, and sometimes just showing up for yourself, even briefly, is the most transformational thing, right?
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's transformative in its own quiet way.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: So traveling solo after divorce isn't about running away, although sometimes it's great to run away from home.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: But traveling solo after divorce is not about running away, it's about coming back to yourself, coming home to yourself, welcoming yourself in a space.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's about remembering who you are now that you're not someone's partner, when you don't have to compromise, you can just be.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: And somewhere, somewhere in there between the quiet breckies, the new conversations, the local food, the beautiful thing that you bought, and the moments that crack your heart wide open, even if that's with sadness and grief, because sometimes that will happen.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: You will realize you've got you, you can hold space for yourself, you can do this solo, you can do life, yes, and travel exactly the way you want to do it, and that's a really, really good space to land.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's a really great place to land.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's a fantastic realization to make about yourself.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you can do this, if you can love and embrace solo travel, even the hard parts, even the lonely parts, and you can trust yourself as a single person out in the world, then you can handle whatever comes next.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: You can trust yourself, you can make bold decisions, you can make quiet, gentle, soft decisions too, and choices, but you can build a life that feels fully yours, exactly the way you want it.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: Your life lived unapologetically your way.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the beauty of solo travel after divorce.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: That is the gift it gives you.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: It gives you this deep self-trust that you get to choose and you get to live your life unapologetically, exactly the way you want to.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining me.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: I hope if travel is something like me you love, I hope this inspires you to book the trip.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: Take the trip, book the flight, book the camping space, whatever it is for you.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do it, enjoy it, struggle with the challenges, but just do it.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: From me to you, happy travels, and until next time, thanks for being here.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sally Ann Hartnell, divorce coach and strategist, and you've been listening to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: You can follow me on Instagram at Reflect Coaching, and if you can think of anyone who would love or benefit from listening to this episode, please share it with them.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also be so grateful if you would follow and review the podcast so we can get in the ears of a whole lot of other people just like you who are ready to reclaim and liberate themselves in life and love.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you'll join me next week for another episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: Until then,