Latest / In Search Of Excellence / Grant Ellis: What The Bachelor Taught Me About Life, Love, and Success | E155

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Grant Ellis: What The Bachelor Taught Me About Life, Love, and Success | E155 · In Search Of Excellence

• 0:00
  Randall Kaplan: Kissing multiple women on the same night. How do you actually focus and get to know who you want to be with when there's 25 people that you're kissing?
• 0:08
  Grant Ellis: Physical Chemistry is a big part. I had been single for a while. You know, some people are gonna say you're kissing too many people, but listen, I'm dating. I'm dating, and this is the way that I went about it. I became the bachelor, and now my family's a unit, and it's all centered around me and because they're excited. When did
• 0:23
  Randall Kaplan: you first learn that your mom had submitted an application? Where were you during that day? And what do you think? I was
• 0:29
  Grant Ellis: at my computer training, and she called me in the morning. I talked to my dad, my mom, and I listened, son like you never know what happened.
• 0:34
  Grant Ellis: You could find your wife. And I listened. And then it led to
• 0:38
  Randall Kaplan: this. The best advice I have for the next Bachelor is
• 0:41
  Grant Ellis: best advice I have is be yourself.
• 0:49
  Randall Kaplan: Welcome to a search of excellence, where I got to meet some of the most incredible, talented, successful and interesting people in the world. My guest today is Grant.
• 0:58
  Randall Kaplan: Ellis grant is the star of the hit TV show The Bachelor, which airs on ABC at 8pm grand. Thanks for being here. Welcome to In Search of Excellence. Thanks for
• 1:06
  Grant Ellis: having me. Man, it's an honor. Man, I've seen some of the guests you've had.
• 1:08
  Grant Ellis: You're doing an amazing job. So thank
• 1:11
  Randall Kaplan: you. All right, so we're gonna start the show a little different and gonna give you
• 1:18
  Grant Ellis: the first impression roast. Thank you, man, I appreciate that. I'm gonna keep this in my back pocket for sure. Okay,
• 1:23
  Randall Kaplan: there you go.
• 1:23
  Randall Kaplan: Appreciate that, man. So when was the last time you got a rose? It was on The Bachelorette. It was on years ago.
• 1:29
  Grant Ellis: Yep, and then, you know, I was on there, got some roses, got dumped, and now I'm handing out the roses. So it's a different it's a difference. You know, that's awesome.
• 1:38
  Randall Kaplan: We're gonna go through a lot of lessons and life on the show, but I think one of the most important lessons in our life is taking advantage of opportunities as they come. So let's go through and tell us how, tell everyone how we met. Yeah, so
• 1:50
  Grant Ellis: it's crazy. I was staying at the London and I was walking to the hotel, and I dropped my bag as the hotel is open. And then you asked me if I needed help, and I was like, Oh, I'm okay. And then you asked me, What am I doing? I was because I told you I had a stylist. And then you were like, well, what do you have a stylist for? And I was like, Well, I'm actually the Bachelor on ABC. And then you introduced me to your podcast and your company and what you're doing. And, you know, we just hit it off, which was really, it was really excited. And that just goes to show you that, you know, the right opportunity and networking. And, you know, being likable is a really big part of business,
• 2:24
  Randall Kaplan: right? One of the things that I teach in coach is you gotta do it now. So you got an opportunity. You're ready, obviously, I've gotta hit podcast. You meet all kinds of interesting people in LA. I was staying at the London hotel. The fires were raging everywhere. We evacuated, so I was with my family there. I think it was our my seventh night there, and I was actually checking out. I mean, all my luggage was in the car, so I were here in my last 10 seconds of the show. I was getting on the elevator, and here's this good looking, stylish dude. And, you know, here we are. Here we are, all right. So I only start my show with our family, because our family helped shape who we are and our future. So starting the show, you introduce you us, your mom, Renee, your dad and your sister, Taylor. But I want to talk about your grandmother, Corrine, who is 83 years old, yes, yes. So how important was she in your life and who you are today, and then talk about what happened after the show aired.
• 3:22
  Randall Kaplan: Yeah, so my
• 3:25
  Grant Ellis: grandmother was a big part, you know, she's obviously, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her, because she gave birth to my mother and but she also birthed a lot of she instilled a lot of things in us that were really pivotal in my life. You know, she taught me patience, she taught me how to be kind. She taught me about my faith, you know, and when things get hard, to pray, and that's something that she instilled in me. And then after the show, she actually passed away. So it was really big that I was able to give her my first impression rose. And that's gonna be something that's imprinted on me for forever. Yeah,
• 3:56
  Randall Kaplan: that was a great moment of the show, and a great way to kick it off. I want to talk about some of your family struggles. Your dad worked a lot. He had drug addiction problems, and you never ate dinner together as a family growing up. So what was that like when you were in a family of parents arguing? And how did that influence your future?
• 4:20
  Grant Ellis: I'm gonna tell you one thing. It taught me how to be very focused, and it taught me how to be very ambitious, because the things that I lacked in my childhood, I wanted to make sure that when I grew up, I was able to supply all those things. So when my parents would argue or be frustrated, I would take out my frustration on a craft basketball so every time, you know, I'll get frustrated, I'll go to the park. And it taught me how to deal with adversity through putting your putting your efforts into something that's that's good for you instead of something that's negative. So it forged me, in a way. But there also was some negative affection. You know, I had to go through a period of my life where I was I. Isolated myself, you know, because I felt like I had to do that until I could accomplish what I needed to accomplish. So there were some negative effects, but there also was a lot of positive things that came from it. And, you know, I learned a lot from my parents. I learned a lot both good things and bad things, but that's that's we're human, so that's part of
• 5:18
  Randall Kaplan: it. You said your mission in life is to be the man your father wasn't right. And
• 5:23
  Grant Ellis: the and the powerful, it's powerful. And the man that he he is, you know, he taught me where my dad was lacking. He had strength. He was very compassionate, very affectionate, very emotional, his father. And the reason why he got into drugs was because his father passed away when he was 20 years old. My dad had a very successful business. He sold cars to Biggie, Smalls, Eddie Murphy, the Wu Tang Clan.
• 5:47
  Grant Ellis: But being around that lifestyle, he adapted some negative habits and but I tell you one thing, my emotional side and me being in tune with my feelings, I get that from him. You don't talk
• 6:01
  Randall Kaplan: about on the show very much, kind of what you're like from ages three to 13. So kind of fill us in. Were you cool kid in school? Were you a jock popular with the girls?
• 6:12
  Randall Kaplan: So
• 6:13
  Grant Ellis: from ages three to 13, I was, I did band. You know, I What instrument you play, saxophone and a clarinet, and then I did a little bit of plays and things like that. My mom always put me in different things, whether it was Kumon or it was, you know, playing the drums or so, that's where I get my musical side from. And I eventually found solace in basketball, so probably around the age of eight or nine, and that's where I really developed my love for the game, and that's where I found my ability to take myself away from distractions and focus on that. When was the first time you had a ball in your hand, I remember I used to go downstairs, and I used to dribble in our basement. This is back then when they had and one mix tape. It was like a street ball kind of thing. I used to watch that, and I used to be so enamored by what the guys were doing on the show, and that I probably around the age of of seven or eight, I picked it up, and you
• 7:09
  Randall Kaplan: play the drums as well. Played
• 7:10
  Grant Ellis: the drums, played the drums, clarinet, saxophone, a little bit of piano, a little bit, little bit everything. You know, music theory is something that I love. And, yeah, just just being all over the place, you know, you
• 7:24
  Randall Kaplan: have a kid in your house growing up, a drum kit. I had a drum kit, and
• 7:27
  Grant Ellis: then we had a piano, and I used to go to, I used to play at the church a lot, so just mess around, nothing serious. You know, I
• 7:33
  Randall Kaplan: always want to play the drums. When I was 35 years old, I walked into Costco, and in college I bought myself sticks, and I blast. Rush is my favorite band. Neil pert considered, before he passed away, one of the greatest drummers ever, if not the best.
• 7:45
  Randall Kaplan: And I play on the drums. And you know, you have a beer or two, or whatever, you're playing so hard, I remember the wood splintering just going up in the air as I'm as I'm playing the drums. About 35 years old, went in, taught myself how in my drum set is a little weird. Is in my bedroom, right? Okay, right next to the bed. You got a seven piece DW drug test, yeah, right.
• 8:04
  Randall Kaplan: Next event with the big speakers, which is, which is fun, you know, you got to do what you love. You
• 8:11
  Grant Ellis: got to do love. And you strike me as somebody who put, that's at, at 35 you know, you push yourself to do new things, and, you know, challenge your brain and challenge your mind. So that's that's something, that that's a that's a big thing I admire.
• 8:24
  Randall Kaplan: On your bio for the show, it says that you were a mama's boy jail, and you love poetry. So what does it mean to be a mama's boy and who's your favorite poet? So
• 8:35
  Grant Ellis: to be a mama's boy, it just means my mom is really a source a lot of my strength, and it just means that I admire her her vulnerability and her strength, and the strength that a woman has to push through difficult situations. You know, a lot of times you see women in in positions where they really have to rely on their gut and how they feel and their intuition. So I really respect that for my mom. And, you know, you only get one mom. So, you know, obviously, you know, I'm gonna have a wife and a family, but I'm always gonna take care of my mom and I'm always gonna take care of my dad. That's something that I really look forward to. And, you know, classical poetry, I because rap and music is a form of poetry.
• 9:17
  Grant Ellis: So one of my favorite artists is wallet. You know, he, is a poet, but he puts some music behind his words, and he knows how to rhyme and put certain words in certain places to evoke emotion.
• 9:28
  Grant Ellis: So I really, walla is not a poet, but he's an artist. And I really, I really enjoy listening to him. You write your own poetry. I don't write but like, sometimes, I'll just, you know, sometimes when I feel I write lyrics to a song, or if I'm feeling a certain way, yeah, I'll do certain things like that.
• 9:44
  Randall Kaplan: We're gonna talk about your new song later in the show. But do you have any favorite lyrics at all that you want to recite? Or, you know, a rap you want to recite right now? I don't come on. You can hit the rap right now. Okay, hit
• 9:57
  Grant Ellis: a rap. Okay, give me. Give me a word. Let me see if I can. Do, okay, podcast, podcast, that's a difficult word. Okay, I'm on a podcast.
• 10:04
  Grant Ellis: I'm with Randall Kaplan, and I'm in a podcast. There's some drama on the show with the ladies. I told them to stop that, because at times it gets hard, at times it gets difficult, but in the end, if we win, it's something that we could all admire. I guess that's something. That's a that's a poetry right there, I guess didn't really run. But okay,
• 10:25
  Randall Kaplan: all right, let's talk about high school education. You went to a Catholic school, went
• 10:31
  Grant Ellis: to a Catholic school. I went to a public school at first, and then I went to St Benedict's, which was an all boys private school. It was a basketball school. We were actually number two in the country in the country in basketball at that time. And then I transferred from there.
• 10:45
  Grant Ellis: When a coach left, I transferred to Hudson Catholic, which is a Catholic school, great point average. Uh, so listen, I was not always the best in school. I had like, a 2.90 I was not. It was very it was, I wasn't really. I was always more on the creative side. And I didn't get into finance until I realized how important it was. I was always Basketball. Basketball is how I'm gonna make it, because in the inner city, that's something that we all look up to. But when I realized how much I was never taught that, when I realized how much finances played a role, I developed a love for it, and that's when I really put my study into that, and
• 11:20
  Randall Kaplan: then you went on to three or four different colleges. Why the various schools?
• 11:25
  Grant Ellis: You know, basketball is a very political game, and there's certain things that happen. I actually my freshman year, I ended up getting sick, I had the red shirt, and then I came into my sophomore year a little bit behind the eight ball, and then I transferred to an HBCU Southern University in Louisiana, and I broke my fifth metatarsal in my foot, so I transferred there, and I finished out my career at Albertus Magnus in Connecticut.
• 11:48
  Randall Kaplan: Then you went to the Dominican Republic. And for those people who don't know that, it's a basketball Mecca, the baseball is the most popular sport in the Dominican Republic.
• 11:59
  Randall Kaplan: And then it comes basketball football, which is soccer as well. But the league there is the Liga Nacional, the Bologna sesco. It's called the LMB, established in 2005 six teams in the league. You play three months a year, three it's a it's a tournament.
• 12:18
  Grant Ellis: So there's different tournaments all throughout the country. And a lot of guys that play in the G league who G League, or a lot of guys that had short stints in the NBA. I had a season there when I was with Josh Shelby. I don't know if he played with Lebron, and there's a couple.
• 12:31
  Grant Ellis: It's a really, you know, when you travel the world, we live in America, so all we know is NBA, but there's so basketball, such a global game, that there's a lot of talent overseas, and it's very difficult, you know, it's very competitive. And you know the difference between professional and colleges. When you're professional, these guys are fighting to put food on the table, so it's a lot more cutthroat over there.
• 12:54
  Randall Kaplan: So how much money are you making? And tell us about the school busses you're traveling. And it's not like luxury coaches, where so
• 13:02
  Grant Ellis: some of the top teams, which is Metro which is metros, Leones, and the team I was on, they have, they have really good busses. But the bottom teams are not other teams with the low budget. So the guys over there that are the top guys, the Americans, they make it anywhere from like 12,000 to 10,000 a month rookie contract.
• 13:21
  Grant Ellis: I was only making like 2500 a month when I came out of there my rookie I had to work my way up. And the most that I made in Dominican Republic was my going in my third year, I was making about eight grand a month over there for the three months, and then I would come back home, and then I would go back over to Dr, and then play another tournament, and then come back home, and then did a short stint in Spain, and then come back home. Spain is more of an eight month season, so yeah, but there's guys over there that make good money if you're on the top team, the top three teams, if you're on the bottom teams, you're kind of fighting to go to a different country or get up to the top teams that right there,
• 14:00
  Randall Kaplan: Spanish is a native language there. So, and I know you speak a little bit, I know you're communicating with some of the women. Quito.
• 14:07
  Randall Kaplan: Where'd you learn Spanish?
• 14:12
  Grant Ellis: My grandmother taught me a little bit of Spanish. And from being in the country, I know how to speak just certain foods, certain foods, and how to get directions. You know, because you'll get lost over there, and the locals over there, if you don't know Spanish, they'll try to nickel and dime you for, you know, try to get over on you. So you have to learn pretty fast you get
• 14:29
  Randall Kaplan: hurt there. What was the injury? So
• 14:31
  Grant Ellis: I injured my shooting. I actually had surgery on this arm, because when I went baseline and I dunked and I cut my arm on the backboard, and you're up
• 14:40
  Randall Kaplan: there pretty high for cutting your arm on the backboard. I was up there pretty up
• 14:43
  Grant Ellis: there pretty high.
• 14:43
  Grant Ellis: I was up there pretty high, and they it was a small cut, and they didn't clean it out properly, and it ended up developing into MRSA, and it went undetected for a while. And if I would have had that for another two or three weeks, it would have turned into sepsis, and I would have had to get my arm amputated. So that was something. And that was really traumatic in my life. And that wasn't when I was like, You know what? I think I'm gonna relax on basketball for a while. Because, yeah, I wasn't. I had to get a forgiveness call. But it's a medicine tube that they pump in your arm for an hour and a half every day, and I had to get a catheter. I think, believe that's what it's called, put over, put over in your arm, and they place it like around this area, over your heart, and it pumped the medicine into your arm to kill your arm to kill the to kill the infection. So
• 15:24
  Randall Kaplan: you finished playing. You're not getting $100 million contract in the NBA. No, no, no. Far from that, and you learned day trading. Was Josh Selby, day trading? Is that how you learned the craft? No.
• 15:36
  Grant Ellis: So I actually did the research myself. You know, around that time, there was a big influx of knowledge around trading, and people were getting into the markets around the time of COVID. And my mentor, who I learned from him, I found him on YouTube, and I reached out to him, and he decided to teach me something. His name is ICT, which, that's his nickname he goes by, but he's on YouTube, and he was in the market for 30 years, and you know, he has some very controversial opinions on on the market. And you know, I decided to look into him, and he ended up, you know, teaching me some algorithmic principles that go along with time and price in the market. And yeah, from there, I just studied, and I've been in, I've been doing it for about five years
• 17:14
  Randall Kaplan: now, you're trading what's known as S P futures. S P futures, what is the S P for those people who don't know? And what are futures for those people who don't know?
• 17:23
  Grant Ellis: Yeah, so future the futures market is is trading the stock market as a whole. So you'll have the S P, the NASDAQ, the Dow Jones, and it's different than options, because there's no expiration date on your contract. So
• 17:38
  Randall Kaplan: go, go back a step. Okay, there's people who have no idea what we're talking about right now. Okay, so let's, let me jump it down a little bit. Let's,
• 17:44
  Grant Ellis: let's go, Yeah, so basically, day trading, and trading the SMPS, you're trading some of the cop, the top companies in the United States as a whole. So the S P is the backbone to the to the financial markets. What the S P does along with interest rates? Well, what is the S P? S P is some of the best 500 companies that are in the United States. So it's a conglomerate of all the best companies in one, you know, which would be app, sometimes apples and the NASDAQ is under the S P, they're all in a conglomerate, okay?
• 18:16
  Randall Kaplan: And so when people talk about the market, they're talking about the S p5 100, which, again, is something that most people don't, don't
• 18:23
  Grant Ellis: know. And there's different ways, like you could trade an individual stock, which would be Apple or Tesla or Amazon, or you could trade S P, which would be a conglomerate of all the companies in one
• 18:37
  Randall Kaplan: so you went all in on this for three years and lost all your money. How much money did you have and how much did you lose?
• 18:44
  Grant Ellis: Well, I didn't lose everything, but I was pretty close. I didn't have good risk management, and I was really eager. And you know, when I started off, I didn't make a whole lot of money coming out. I had about $60,000 saved up from playing, and I decided to put some money into a an account and trade that. What I should have done was trade demo, but I was really eager, you know, trade a demo account, which is not live funds to learn, but I was really eager. And I lost, I lost a very, very good amount of my money to where I didn't have any, I didn't have any cushion for a while, you know, because I was I put it all in on trading.
• 19:24
  Grant Ellis: There's a
• 19:26
  Randall Kaplan: lot out there about day trading, and the stats show that 80 and 90% of all day traders lose their money, go out of business, Yes, correct. So when you're looking at your what you're up to, was there a better option? And did you understand the risk and say, Do I really want to do this?
• 19:45
  Grant Ellis: I think that I definitely understood the risk.
• 19:47
  Grant Ellis: But I'm a little bit naive, in a sense. I believe in myself a lot. You know, I believe in myself so much that I'll go on a show and never, never perform and do it, you know, and or do something where you know, it's how much I have self believe in.
• 20:01
  Grant Ellis: And I, when I was taking my losses, I did get down on myself a lot, you know, it could be, it could be depressing, but I always knew that I was going to figure it out and find a way to make it work, because trading, there's a whole bunch of different philosophies, but the main thing is discipline, discipline and routine and structure and doing the same thing every day over a period of time, small wins, they add up to a large sum over the course of 510, years. So I knew that if I could get discipline down and my mental down, that I could accomplish it. And I think that's why most people fail in trading, because they don't have the discipline to withstand the losses that incur. Did
• 20:44
  Randall Kaplan: you measure your return? Or have you measured returning each year? Because when we think about money managers and managing our own capital, no one. Beats the market long term, right? Warren.
• 20:52
  Randall Kaplan: Warren Buffett is the only person who's beat over 30 years.
• 20:56
  Randall Kaplan: If you're not working or seeing someone in Omaha, Nebraska, and you're randomly meeting to them, you're not going to find the next one. So have you measure your returns and what have their returns been year by year?
• 21:11
  Grant Ellis: So I don't really get into my returns, because I am, you know, over a span of five to 10 years, if I could do five to 8% annually, I would be really happy with that, and basically not beat the S P, but just go along with the S P.
• 21:27
  Randall Kaplan: Well, that's way under the S P, the S P average over the last 20 years, 10.4% point 4% tax efficient. So you're now getting hit on the day trading the
• 21:36
  Grant Ellis: taxes. But if you can get access to more capital, the more capital you have, you don't have to have as large of returns. If I have access to$300,000 and I do 10% through the year, you know, that's$30,000 if I have access to $3 million and I do a 10% year, it's a lot more money. So the key is more capital, and then the way you beat taxes is you just allocate in different areas. There's there's ways to do it, and there's ways to not beat taxes, but to lessen the blow that they take on you. Are you a warrant buffer fan? I am a warren buffett fan, but he traded a lot off of fundamentals. And I'm not. I'm more of a technical guy. You know, I believe in technicals along with fundamentals, but I you have to respect anybody that's the best to ever do it.
• 22:19
  Grant Ellis: So I have major respect for Warren Buffet,
• 22:21
  Randall Kaplan: all right, he said, if you're not willing to hold the stock for 10 years, don't even think about holding it for 10 seconds. Yeah.
• 22:28
  Grant Ellis: But there's things that you know change. There's things that changed ever since, you know, 2030, years ago, the market 4050, even 50 years ago, the market is a digital market.
• 22:39
  Grant Ellis: Now it's electronic. And you know, you could hold the stock for 10 years, or you could read the charts and you could hold the stock for maybe a year, or you could read the charts and you could try to hold the stock or hold the position for five minutes, 10 minutes. You know, there's ways to, uh, read certain characteristics that the market has and not time it, but be able to ride the wave that that order flow brings. So that's something that I I really try. I pride myself on, and I had the stats to back it up. You know, I work with the top proprietary firm in the country, which is top step, and I've been with them for about two years.
• 23:13
  Grant Ellis: And you know, my plan is over five years, five to seven years, to have consistent returns, and then bring my portfolio to a manager and say, This is what I've done, and then request more capital. And that's where things get really interesting. Do you trade in
• 23:31
  Randall Kaplan: Bitcoin? Do you think it's a good investment?
• 23:33
  Randall Kaplan: And do you have any predictions on where it's gonna be five years from
• 23:36
  Grant Ellis: now? I don't touch crypto. I don't touch crypto. I stick strictly with the S and p5 100. I think that's the smartest move. You know, I think crypto is a way to make money fast but when you get in that mentality of making fast money, then you start gambling. So I would much rather have a larger pool of capital and just take small pieces and just build that up over a loan. So I don't touch crypto. I don't know. I couldn't even tell you where trading at
• 24:02
  Randall Kaplan: right now. You know, what's so interesting to me is, you think that's gambling, but day trading is not gambling. But if you look at all the pundits, everyone says day trading is gambling. Humans
• 24:10
  Grant Ellis: are interesting.
• 24:10
  Grant Ellis: You know, they will ride a wave or everybody, I think you can't speak on day trading unless you have skin in the game more than three to five years. Then you could tell me, it's gambling. If you go in there and you try it for three months or a year and you lose a bunch of money, you're gonna be like, Oh, this is, this is, this is gambling.
• 24:31
  Grant Ellis: But if you go in there, and you do it over and over again, and you take your lumps, and you get back up, you'll see that there's a way to not beat the market, but you could get consistent returns over a long period of time and be financially stable enough and develop a game plan to where, if you could acquire more capital, you could make some really, really good money.
• 24:52
  Grant Ellis: So you've
• 24:52
  Randall Kaplan: been day trading now six or seven years. What's a professional dream? So,
• 24:58
  Grant Ellis: you know, to start a hedge fund is probably my number one goal. Like, obviously, the opportunities that come with being a bachelor are great, you know, but I'm, I'm not really an influencer. I put so much effort into trading, and so much of my skin and so much of my so much of my mental into the game that I'm never gonna stop that's I want to be the best, and I think that's something that I'll never stop doing. So, yeah, to start a hedge fund and to be able to, you know, tell former athletes how to invest their money, I think that's something that I really, really enjoyed, enjoy.
• 25:33
  Randall Kaplan: So a lot of the listeners and viewers to the show have no idea what a hedge fund is. So can you tell everyone what it is and the economics of it and how hedge fund managers make money?
• 25:42
  Grant Ellis: Yeah. So a hedge fund is basically just you're acquiring pools of liquidity or pools of money, and you're telling your investors where to allocate their money. And. And you'll just charge a commission or fee for for the deal, you know. So if I, if I give you a 10% return on your investment, I will just charge a fee for that.
• 26:00
  Grant Ellis: And like I said, the way you make money is in a numbers game.
• 26:03
  Grant Ellis: The more money that I have, the more investors I have, the more money that I'll be able to make on the returns that I am able to allocate for each investment
• 26:15
  Randall Kaplan: and tell people how the fee structure two and 20 works for the hedge fund manager, and how all these hedge fund managers become rich.
• 26:21
  Grant Ellis: Yeah, like I said, it's just for it's a numbers game, you know, for for me, it would be a numbers game in terms of how I'm going to charge and how I'm going to allocate my different my different funds.
• 26:32
  Grant Ellis: But yeah, that's something that I have in the works now. And yeah, I'm still a good three, three to four years off from from really structuring that
• 26:42
  Randall Kaplan: the term hedge fund was originally coined because a hedge was a non correlated class to the market, right, to hedge your bet, right?
• 26:48
  Randall Kaplan: So today it's a misnomer, yeah, because you have all these funds who basically do the same thing as the mutual fund. So instead of paying a 2% feature and 20% of the profits, you could buy a mutual fund where the average expense ratio, how much cost to run the fund, is 1% right?
• 27:06
  Randall Kaplan: Crazy, but if you can get the two and 20 model for doing the same thing as the 1% you'd rather have the two and 20 model you'd
• 27:13
  Grant Ellis: rather have that, yeah, and I think there's, you know, with hedging, there's so many different ways to do it, and there's so many different models to have. So finding one that you you feel best suits you is is really important. I
• 27:27
  Randall Kaplan: think so much of what we do professionally is our mental state and how we go into it. But we love to read books as well. To see how we learn is one way to learn. So your favorite book is the psychology of money.
• 27:37
  Randall Kaplan: Talk to us about what you learned from that book, and you still practice those each day and say, oh gosh, I'm having a shitty trading day. Got to go back to the book and got to help it bring me in a little bit.
• 27:50
  Randall Kaplan: Yeah,
• 27:50
  Grant Ellis: 100% I think the main thing that I learned from that and the psychology aspect was just that trading is not a short term game, it's a long term game, and if you could master that concept and stack your wins and master yourself in the psychological aspect, you'll be able to get those returns. So that that book was very pivotal in my learning and trading in the markets, because at a certain time I was rushing, I was impatient, I was greedy. And because the market, it plays tricks on your mental you know, when there's an infinite amount of money in the market and you're telling me, if I just hit one trade, I could make this much or this much, you get lost.
• 28:30
  Grant Ellis: You have to, like I said, you have to take small pieces. So that's where, that's where that book helped me and kind of turn the corner from me.
• 28:38
  Randall Kaplan: Let's talk about relationships now. We're gonna spend a lot of time talking about it. How old were you when you had your first crush on a girl? What was your name and did you do anything?
• 28:48
  Grant Ellis: Man, I was pretty young. I watched the movie love don't cost a thing with Nick Cannon and Christina milion, and that's when I had my first crush. I don't remember how old I was, but I know I wasn't old enough to drive or have a beer.
• 29:02
  Grant Ellis: I'll tell you that much, you know. So I was pretty young.
• 29:04
  Randall Kaplan: My first crush, kindergarten, first grade, Jill blade, I remember, so pretty I stuttered. So I wasn't the cool kid. And this guy, Todd, Fink, who was in our class, could draw all of these battleships. Okay, that's great. So I try to say, Okay, well, if I can learn from Todd, who is my best friend back, then I could draw you battleships, right? Maybe Jill will even give me the time of day and she'll talk to me, right, right? Did you learn how to, how to draw the ships? I mean, I was like A, C, Todd, like a, a plus, plus.
• 29:34
  Grant Ellis: Okay, okay, yeah, that's funny.
• 29:36
  Randall Kaplan: Man, how old were you when you had your first kiss? Man,
• 29:39
  Grant Ellis: this is gonna sound crazy, but I remember my first kiss was. It was, like a playful thing. It was during nap time.
• 29:44
  Grant Ellis: It was, like, honestly, in kindergarten, and I gave this girl a kiss on the cheek. I remember we were, you know, because we had nap time. I went to a school called Good Shepherd Christian Academy, and we were having our nap time, and I got up, and I remember I gave her like a teddy bear, and I kissed her on the cheek, and that was my first kiss that I ever
• 30:02
  Randall Kaplan: had. All right, not counting that one, not counting that one doesn't count lip to lift kiss. How old were you?
• 30:10
  Grant Ellis: Maybe like, 12 or 13, maybe in that in that range, you know. Now I don't really remember that that far into it, you know. I remember the kindergarten, but I don't remember, like, my first actual, my first actual kiss, like that.
• 30:21
  Randall Kaplan: Are you comfortable sharing first time you were intimate with another woman? So
• 30:25
  Grant Ellis: a lot of my high school career, I focus on basketball, you know, I remember, I always, probably, probably, like, late teens, honestly, late teens, you know, and then going into college, not
• 30:36
  Randall Kaplan: gonna ask you her first name, by the way,
• 30:37
  Grant Ellis: yeah, I'm not gonna. But, and then going into college, I met a wonderful woman, and we ended up getting into a really serious relationship, and that was my first relationship. It ended up being seven years. Yeah, and that taught me a lot about what love is, and that is more than just a word, it's an action, and taught me a lot of things about myself that I needed to work on.
• 31:05
  Randall Kaplan: You broke up a lot. You're on, you're off, you're on, you're off. I see so many people staying too long in a relationship, when is the right point where someone should say, This isn't working? I have an investment in for years, and it's time to just move on. I
• 31:21
  Grant Ellis: say there's two factors, a, when you start to lose yourself, when you start to negate your goals and your priorities, and then two or B would be when you start to it's good to prioritize somebody, right? But when you start to let go of your interests and lose yourself in that relationship, I think that it's time to leave and find yourself. You know you have to be able to find the balance of being yourself and letting your partner be themselves and be in a union where you guys are both able to have fun, be yourself, but be in love, you know? So, yeah, when you start to lose yourself, I would say
• 32:01
  Randall Kaplan: there's a moment on the second show of the batch of the season where all these women are waiting around.
• 32:08
  Randall Kaplan: They're in the mansion when this tall, good looking woman runs in all women are like, Oh, my God, oh my God. Is that the ex girlfriend? That's my sister, your sister. She's a model, she's a model, and you guys are tight. Yeah,
• 32:21
  Grant Ellis: we're super close, man, we're so it's crazy because we're we're different, but we're the same in a lot of ways. And I think the one thing that we bond over is our childhood. We both went through the same things together, so we have our differences, but the one thing that we always are locked in over is what we went through and and how it forged our personalities into the adults we are today.
• 32:42
  Randall Kaplan: One of the reasons why we're here is because want to promote the show. You want to give your sister a plug what you're working on and, you know, just give her a
• 32:50
  Grant Ellis: shout out, kind of, yeah, shout out to you, sis. I love you. You You know, keep doing your thing. She actually just went to Paris Fashion Week, so I hope she brought me back some, some drip. You know, I would like that. Okay,
• 32:58
  Randall Kaplan: there you go.
• 32:58
  Randall Kaplan: I'm sure right now you can get your own drip. Yeah, I don't think you need your sister.
• 33:03
  Grant Ellis: I don't, I don't.
• 33:03
  Grant Ellis: But, you know, listen, Paris Fashion Week is a dope adult weekend.
• 33:07
  Randall Kaplan: Are people now sending you free shit? Like, are you getting people just sending it your publicist or ABC, and everyone's just like, okay, man, I want grant to wear this.
• 33:16
  Randall Kaplan: Wanted to wear it on the show.
• 33:16
  Randall Kaplan: Or,
• 33:17
  Grant Ellis: well, you know, we filmed the show prior, but people do send stuff, you know.
• 33:20
  Grant Ellis: And obviously, you know, it's, it's a business, you know. But I enjoy seeing, you know, what the companies are sending it. Like I said, I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying getting free stuff. You know, it's the first time that I've ever been have anything sent to me free. You know,
• 33:36
  Randall Kaplan: it's cool. Some people have sent me some cool stuff just for my show. They know I love the shoes. I'm into the kicks. Got some pickleball rackets. Selkirk hula, I've had that number one player men and women on my show too. So it's kind of cool. Yeah, it's super cool. Man, it's super cool.
• 33:53
  Randall Kaplan: Yeah, so, after the seven years, you date a woman for one and a half years, and then you went on the apps, yeah? So, what apps were you on? And how did that go?
• 34:02
  Grant Ellis: Yeah, I so, you know, I was, I did. So after the seven and a half year relationship, I was single for a long time because I really put everything into that relationship. And I tried, you know, hinge, I try, but it's just wasn't me, you know, I think that okay, so
• 34:19
  Randall Kaplan: you're on hinge, hinge, yeah. Hinge is like, throwing your picture up there.
• 34:21
  Randall Kaplan: Yeah, yeah.
• 34:24
  Grant Ellis: Hinges for people that are looking for like, like relationship, but, you know, a lot of times things don't work out. And then for me, I'm more of like, an in person. I want to sit down and have a conversation in person, because it's different. So did that for a while. Didn't really go on any dates from it. And then, you know, I was dates from now. I didn't, you know, I wasn't really into it. You know, I was at a point in my life where I was focusing on career, career, career, career, like life career, and taking care of my family. And I, it took me about took me a good year to really get over to get over heartbreak.
• 34:56
  Grant Ellis: It took me a long time, and I knew that I was gonna get over it by just replacing it with somebody else, because I was gonna take bad habits and bring it to the next person. So I just try. I really tried to work on myself, and I really dug into my faith, and that's kind of what got me through. That got me through that time, you know, being alone, because it got lonely, and I'll come home alone, and, you know, I spend time, you know, with, with, with my sister's dog. He's diesel.
• 35:22
  Grant Ellis: What kind of dog? He's like, a miniature palm sheet, kind of like a mix, you know, he's, he's bad, though he's a little, he's a bad, he's, he's a good dog, but he's, like, he's a little brat, but yeah, that my faith really got me through that, and my faith really got me through a lot of hard times in my life, with my father's addiction and with me getting sick and almost losing my arm. And you know, because you could be up one minute, and then you never know when you're gonna get sick, or you never know. When people are going to turn on you. But the one thing I found out is that I'm never I could always pray and because life is unpredictable, man like right now, I'm 31 I'm in shape, you know, I carry myself well, I have my stuff together. But who knows, you know? Who knows is going to happen, and who knows you could love somebody with all your heart, that's that's the main thing I learned from my last relationship. You could think somebody is your world, married your parents, but so they're gonna let you down at one point, the thing that's never gonna let you down is, God, he's never gonna let you down. He's always gonna have your back. Look what just happened with the fires in LA.
• 36:31
  Grant Ellis: You know, people work their whole life, and they build up these material things which are good, but you can't take those with you when you die. So yeah, that. I think that's what really made me sit and say, You know what? Let me wait and not rush into another relationship, because I'm gonna put my heart in there, and then if I get hurt again. I don't know how many of those I could take, you know, I don't know how many of those I could take before I start to really doubt myself. And I'm a pretty confident guy, you know, so, and I got a call, you know, to, you know, my mom is always praying for me. She's actually a chaplain, so she, I don't know what got into her to sign me up for the Bachelorette, but she signed me up, and here I am today.
• 37:15
  Randall Kaplan: She go to church on a regular basis.
• 37:17
  Grant Ellis: I don't, I don't go to church on a regular basis.
• 37:19
  Grant Ellis: I'm not overly religious. You know, I like music, you know, I have drinks here and there. Even see when I show you I'm kissing and I'm dating. And you know, I know that nobody's perfect. You don't have to go to church every every week. You know you don't have to go to church every week.
• 37:34
  Grant Ellis: But the main thing I try to do is I try to read my word because that's how I when I'm confused and I don't know what to do.
• 37:41
  Grant Ellis: That's where my foundation comes from. And like I said, you know, nobody's perfect. I think that that's one thing that people have to realize, that the way that you get through to people is by you just love them. You know, you love people. You be there for them, and you don't judge people. Because, you know, you could be sitting there looking at somebody, oh, this person's doing that and that.
• 38:00
  Grant Ellis: But you got your own you got your own demons that you're fighting too. So that's what helped me forget my dad.
• 38:04
  Grant Ellis: Honestly, what's your favorite drink you mentioned? You know, I'm a Hennessy guy. I love a nice Hennessy on the rocks. It's like my my go to drink of choice. So I know I'm getting old man. I just love Hennessy. I don't know
• 38:15
  Randall Kaplan: why. So you mentioned you're confident, and we see that out of the show, but you're not cocky either. And I think there's a fine line there.
• 38:20
  Randall Kaplan: When you were single, were you one of these guys that could just kind of slither up to a woman and ask her out, no problem? Or were you nervous when you just go up to some strange woman. No, I don't ever get nervous, you know. I know. I have that never when you were younger, and you just would walk up to some girl. I don't
• 38:42
  Grant Ellis: get nervous. I think that because I was raised around women, I, you know, I know how to talk to women, and I don't have the, I don't always have to have the intention of, I'm gonna try to, you know. And I think that, you know, having the ability to do that, but not doing that, it, it definitely forges character, and it brings character, because you know, when you when you do that, not to say you're taking advantage, but you're using, you know, something that you have to get what you want, which is not always, is not the best thing to do. So I try to, you know, I know that I had that ability to do that, but I hold back because I know one thing I do know is that being in a relationship, it for me, it brings stability. It bring it helps me in my life, helps me in my pursuits and my business, and having somebody that's there for you, because you could have a vibe or connection with 50,000 people, but having somebody that's going to stick with you when you're down and out, that's what I want. You know, I don't want to just have meaningless connections.
• 39:43
  Randall Kaplan: Our confidence grows as we get older and are more successful. But I went when I think back to my teens and my college years, we'd have to throw down some Bruce keys to have the courage to go up to a woman, right? And I had a pickup line, you know? We said, Okay, what do you what's a good pickup line? And I determined the best one was, are those your shoes?
• 40:05
  Grant Ellis: All right, hey, listen, that's, that's a conversation starter. It's a
• 40:09
  Randall Kaplan: conversation starter, yeah, and it's, it's, it's weird, right? What is funny? It's funny. Yeah,
• 40:18
  Grant Ellis: you never know what's gonna work. I don't really have any pickup lines. I I never, really, I never went in there with like, a pickup line.
• 40:22
  Grant Ellis: I just make conversation and then you want to drink, you know, like, what's your favorite drink? I'll get it for you.
• 40:27
  Grant Ellis: Don't worry about it, you know.
• 40:29
  Grant Ellis: And that's a conversation starter. All right,
• 40:31
  Randall Kaplan: we're leading up to the bachelor, but it started with the Bachelorette. You were on season 21 and how did that come about? Yeah,
• 40:40
  Grant Ellis: my mom signed me up, so for the Bachelorette, for the bat. So in order to become the bachelor, you have to be the on The Bachelor,
• 40:46
  Randall Kaplan: right? So I'm talking about the Bachelorette.
• 40:48
  Randall Kaplan: How did the bachelorette come about?
• 40:50
  Grant Ellis: Yeah, she my mom signed me up for the Bachelor.
• 40:52
  Grant Ellis: Right for that too. No, I'm saying you don't sign up for the Bachelor in order to I see, yeah, in order to be the bachelor, you have to first be on The Bachelorette. So my, my mom saw the Bachelorette, or she saw the first golden bachelor, and she signed me up for the Bachelorette, which was the next season, right?
• 41:08
  Randall Kaplan: Yeah, the golden bachelor was last year. Was Gary. Yeah, that was a 72 year old man. Retire, retire. Yup, marriage lasted three months.
• 41:15
  Randall Kaplan: Yep,
• 41:17
  Grant Ellis: it's, and listen, it's, everybody's relationship is different. You know, things happen differently. You know, some people fall, fall off, some people stay strong, and everybody's at different points
• 41:28
  Randall Kaplan: in their life.
• 41:28
  Randall Kaplan: So Jen, Tran was the Bachelorette, right? And you were sent home, I think, with five people to go, right? You cried. Yes,
• 41:38
  Grant Ellis: I did. I was a little baby right there.
• 41:40
  Randall Kaplan: Why do you view that as a baby? Um,
• 41:43
  Grant Ellis: you know, I honestly. I think vulnerability is important, honestly. And, you know, people may look at that and like you just met this woman, but when you go on there, I just, I just got off, I just got out of a seven year relationship. I just spent a whole year and changed being single, and then I went on to a dating show where, you know, it's, it's a nationally televised thing. So when that happened, you know, I was a little bit in my feelings. And, you know, I like I I'm gonna say I am an emotional guy, but I'm also strong, and I also carry myself with strength and integrity and dignity, but I'm not afraid to, you know, show my feelings, not too much, but when I do, it means something to me.
• 42:22
  Grant Ellis: You know, something that really evokes emotion to me is my relationship with my dad or my faith. Those are two things that really, when I talk about them, I get a little emotional because I know how much that means to me. And I think in that situation, it was just a culmination of everything, and it just yeah, just happened.
• 42:39
  Randall Kaplan: Why are so many men afraid to cry and show their emotions? I've cried on my show many times. I think people here will tell you that I've had a large number of my guests cry on my show, but it's something that we try to hold in because it's not macho. I think
• 42:54
  Grant Ellis: that a lot of men try to come off as, you know, like strong and, and, which is good to have strength. I think that I've been around athletes my whole life, and it's very like macho and, and, you know, but I think the, I think the bravest thing you could do, I think the most manly thing you could do is, number one is sacrifice, and then number two, to be in touch with your emotions and be able to, yeah, I'll cry, but you know, if you disrespect me, I'm gonna let you know, and I'm not gonna take, I'm not gonna take any disrespect, but I'm also gonna, you know, be in touch with my feelings, because that gives you empathy. You know, when you have a daughter one day, I bet you're gonna cry, you know, I bet you're gonna be so it's like, it's okay to cry, but there's a time and a place for it, and there's a time and a place to be strong. You just have to learn timing. You ever
• 43:42
  Randall Kaplan: pull up to a stop sign or a light when you're in your car, you got a fancy car, and we're gonna talk about your Ferrari in a minute. So people are looking at your car, they're like, dude, man, I've got a Tesla plant, but I sit there and you're like, All right, we're gonna see who's faster. All right, so even if you're not willing to race, you're not even thinking about it. Some guy floors it. Our competitive instinct kicks in, right? It's all you hit it, don't you? Right out of the gate.
• 44:09
  Grant Ellis: I've never, I've never, I'm really careful with my car. I'm really careful. I'm a bit of a when it comes to that. I'm a bit of a stickler.
• 44:14
  Grant Ellis: But I think, what if, in terms of, like, guys being competitive, I guys are really, you know, you ever been in a gym and you're benching and somebody tries to bench more than you, or you're on the boxing bag, and guys try to, like, you know, they try to see, they try to measure up. I think it's just in our DNA. For whatever reason, it's just part of our nature, and that's it's healthy, but there's a bit of it that's toxic, too, yeah,
• 44:39
  Randall Kaplan: and when you're on The Bachelorette, right?
• 44:41
  Randall Kaplan: You're sitting there and you got a bunch of good looking, great guys, there isn't a competition, even if you're not in it at this point, to find your spouse.
• 44:50
  Randall Kaplan: You're looking around a man like, I just want to win.
• 44:54
  Grant Ellis: I didn't. That didn't really cross my mind for me, winning was like, because I didn't look at it like, I'm winning, you know, I was just trying to form a connection with somebody. And,
• 45:04
  Randall Kaplan: yeah, but there is that human element. I mean, you see it on the show, right? I
• 45:07
  Grant Ellis: think, I think the main where that comes in is night one, when you meet all the guys and everybody's talking about their jobs and this and that, and, yeah, there's a little bit of like, chess poking out. But me, I'm like, I try to, I stay quiet. You know, I stay quiet because I think that this the strongest men are the ones that are silent. You know, if you ever study martial arts or boxing, it's like, you have a guy coming to the gym and they try to act all tough, but the guys that are really serious, they don't really talk much, because they know what they're capable of. So I just, I stay kind of silent. I don't like but there's a lot of that. There's a lot of chitter chatter going on, especially night one. You look at
• 45:42
  Randall Kaplan: countries like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, India, arranged marriages are the norm.
• 45:47
  Randall Kaplan: So someone sets you up. You're paying. Aaron, and you're saying you are married that person. You have no choice. You've never met them, you've never slept with them. You don't know anything about them. Isn't the bachelor and bachelorette kind of the same thing. Here's 25 people, and you're really they're preordained. You're going to find somebody, and it's going to be one of the 25
• 46:11
  Grant Ellis: Yeah. I mean, that's an interesting way to look at it, but it, you know, sometimes people hit it off. You know, sometimes you really, you find your person. And I think that it's all about where you're at in your life. If you're really ready for a relationship, and you find somebody that you like, you're going to make it work, you know, because there's always going to be more out there, you know, there's always going to be another if you're a woman, there's always going to be another handsome guy, or another guy with more money, or another famous guy. If you're a man, there's always going to be a beautiful woman out there. But if you find somebody that you could have a relationship with and be your best friend, that's irreplaceable. So I feel like if you could develop that on the show, it works. So
• 46:51
  Randall Kaplan: the bachelor started in 2002 It's a hit show.
• 46:54
  Randall Kaplan: We're in season 29 right now.
• 46:54
  Randall Kaplan: When did you first learn that your mom had submitted an application? Where were you during that day? And what are you thinking I was
• 47:04
  Grant Ellis: I was at my computer training, and she called me in the morning, and at first I, you know, because in order to go on the show, you got to freeze your accounts, and then you gotta be away from the market for three months. And I was in a groove, and I was like, man. But then I talked to my dad and my mom and like, Listen, son. Like, you never know what's gonna happen. You can find your wife. And, you know, we see how focused you are. You need to take a break, and you need to just, you need to do this. So I was like, You know what? I'm gonna listen. And I listen. And then it led to this.
• 47:33
  Randall Kaplan: He said two things. You said, I want to find my future wife, and it's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
• 47:40
  Randall Kaplan: What's the opportunity
• 47:41
  Grant Ellis: that in itself, finding your partner, you know, finding your partner, but there's also, there's also you, you go on the show to find your person. But you know, it's inevitable that things come from it. You know, there's a whole bunch of things that come from it, but you have to keep your relationship, your relationship.
• 47:59
  Grant Ellis: Are you looking for a relationship with priority?
• 48:03
  Grant Ellis: Because people could sense when you're not genuine. You have to be genuine. You have to be yourself, and you have to be there to look for it, you know?
• 48:11
  Grant Ellis: So, yeah, yeah. I think that's the main opportunity, and then it puts you in a different position. You know, my dad, who was in rehab, he's now working at a sober home in New York that was facilitated through somebody that saw me on the show and reached out, and then things happened, and now he's working in New York City, you know, teaching and speaking for for people that with addiction. So those are the things and it's brought, you know, when my grandmother passed away, my family was divided. I became the bachelor, and now my family is a unit, and it's all centered around me and because they're excited and, you know, so people that haven't talked in three years are talking to each other now. So those are some of the opportunities that come with it's not only monetary. It's also opportunities with relationships and family life and just growing and this journey that we live in life,
• 49:05
  Randall Kaplan: but you have to be considering before you're on the show. Hey, good things are going to happen to me. Were you thinking about that? And what are some of the good things that are happening to you now, now that the show is filmed. Yeah,
• 49:18
  Grant Ellis: it's that's inevitable. You know, I listen.
• 49:20
  Grant Ellis: I went to the NASDAQ. I met I watched the company have their IPO COVID. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I watched this market flexible every day. So those are some of the things like you. I didn't think about that in the future, but when you know the press Run, when these opportunities or these things are coming, I'm like, Wow. You know, this is opportunity for me to really make connections, and, you know, show them that and gain some respect. As a trader, people like I think that a platform to show people and transparency, to show people that it's possible to do this and to be transparent. And, you know, I think that's a really big opportunity there. So that's something that in itself, that, uh, that that I would like to pursue.
• 50:08
  Randall Kaplan: Did you want to be famous when you were a kid?
• 50:10
  Randall Kaplan: And do you want to be famous now?
• 50:12
  Grant Ellis: I don't think, I think that fame is, you know, a gift and a curse. I think that, you know, people are in your business, people always have opinions about you. I think that there's a solace that comes with being kind of private. I was a very private person before. I mean, my Instagram had one profile picture so, but I always knew I had, you know, I always knew I was talented, you know, I could dance, I could do certain things, and I think it's just good to put it out there. You know, just be yourself, be authentic. And I'm not never searching for fame. Never will you know what I'm saying, but I think that influence is a good way to point people in the right direction. How many
• 50:48
  Randall Kaplan: interviews did you have to have to actually be on the show and who's interviewing you? So
• 50:52
  Grant Ellis: you have to, you go through, there's a process that you go through to be on the show, to be interviewed. You go through like, three interviews, three or four interviews.
• 51:01
  Randall Kaplan: What level are we talking about? The president of ABC finally getting in there, or someone a little lower down on the when
• 51:08
  Grant Ellis: you're when you're in the process of going on The Bachelorette. It's some producers and, you know, some EPs and things of that. But then, you know, there's when you're in the interview to become the lead. It's a, there's a there's a hierarchy that you go through. So you meet some, some really cool people, and you know, they just assess your character, and they assess, you know, because it's one thing to fall in love, but you know, when you're nationally televised, you have to people want to you have to have the ability for people to want to watch you fall in love you know, or or watch your story, or be interested or invested. So I think that's just part of the interviewing process. These
• 51:46
  Randall Kaplan: are one on one interviews, and how many are there, and what's the length of time that this process is going
• 51:51
  Grant Ellis: on. Some of them are via zoom. Some of them are in person, but I would say it's, I would say, about a month. And
• 51:56
  Randall Kaplan: do they tell you? All right, you passed the first round, the second round, and now there's five, and you're a finalist. And are you going home worrying? Man, I got to compete with five other people.
• 52:03
  Randall Kaplan: No,
• 52:04
  Grant Ellis: no, no, it's very much. Call, you know, we like you call. Okay, you're gonna be on call. Okay, pack your bags.
• 52:11
  Grant Ellis: You're leaving in, you know, saying you're leaving here, you're leaving in two weeks, you know. So it's two weeks, I don't have a specific time period, but that's just Yeah, but it's how long before
• 52:20
  Randall Kaplan: you get it? Do you start the show? Is it two weeks? You gotta Yeah?
• 52:25
  Grant Ellis: About a probably about a month, anywhere between three weeks, you know. And that range, a month, three weeks range.
• 52:31
  Randall Kaplan: So who called you? Actually called you and say, Hey, Grant you're it sometimes,
• 52:35
  Grant Ellis: you know, I have a really, you know, I have really, really close relationship with some of the EPS. And it's, you know, the EPS that call
• 52:41
  Randall Kaplan: what kind of preparation is involved for the show? Do you take public speaking? I mean, you're a very articulate, well spoken person, but there has to be some awkwardness in front of the camera following you around. I mean, you did it on The Bachelorette, but I'm new to the podcast and, well, I'm not new to the podcasting world, but I'm new to holding the camera in front of my face. It's awkward.
• 53:00
  Randall Kaplan: I feel very silly Instagram Live. I feel silly you doing training for the show. I never
• 53:05
  Grant Ellis: really I think that just press from playing basketball I was able to like I know how to speak, but I'll tell you, the most awkward thing is, when I'm, like, having to document my life, like, you know you're going to restaurant, like, Oh, me eating my food, or I never, I never was really into that. So that's probably the most awkward thing for me. But in terms of speaking, I don't really, I don't know. I just, I don't really struggle with that.
• 53:26
  Grant Ellis: I think talking slow is a big thing, or being able to formulate your words. I don't, I never really had any training
• 53:34
  Randall Kaplan: on it. When you're on the show and they're filming a restaurant scene, I noticed sometimes you got the whole place to yourself, but are you walking in with a camera crew to a restaurant or a crowded place, and it's awkward, everyone's looking at you, and it's just like hard to just not be embarrassed.
• 53:49
  Grant Ellis: Yeah, that's awkward. But the most awkward part is when you're having a really intimate moment with somebody, and you know you're engaged in a kiss, and you know that it's the cameras there that's probably, that's probably the most awkward moment. And then two, you know, on the show, you know, they do such a good job. They want all the important moments to be, to happen and to be seen. So if you're in private, you know, and you're saying all of the things that you know they want, you know the people, the story has to be told. So just having those moments caught on camera, I think that's probably there's a bit of awkwardness to it, but you know, somebody gotta do it.
• 54:23
  Grant Ellis: So 25
• 54:25
  Randall Kaplan: contests on the show, ages 21 to 31 various professional got a venture capitalist. You've got a influencer who brought her llama into the show, which is the weirdest thing ever, but makes for good TV. Do you see the bios of the women on the show before you get there? No,
• 54:46
  Grant Ellis: no. Nothing about them. Nothing you know, nothing.
• 54:48
  Grant Ellis: The first time that you meet the lovely ladies there is night one.
• 54:52
  Randall Kaplan: Meet them. Night One, we pull up to a limo, for those people who haven't seen the show. You hop
• 54:56
  Grant Ellis: out the limo, and then you stand there, and then you wait for, you wait for all the ladies to come and with their entrance, and that's, that's where there's nerves.
• 55:04
  Randall Kaplan: They all do some, like, funky stuff, yeah, like someone brought you a crystal basketball. And, you know, some of this stuff is like, okay, come on, right? But they put a lot of thought into it. What was your favorite one?
• 55:16
  Randall Kaplan: I
• 55:16
  Grant Ellis: think I'm an animal lover. So I like, I love the llama. You know, I'm happy I didn't get spin on. I'm happy that that didn't happen. But I'm an animal lover, man, I love animals. So that was probably one of my most favorite entrances, and that was
• 55:30
  Randall Kaplan: the first row was the first solo date. Yeah, the first row was the first solid date. Yep, when you were single, did you date multiple women at the same time? Never,
• 55:38
  Grant Ellis: I never. I'm I am a one relationship type of guy, like, you know, I like commitment. I like the stability that comes with that. And it's a lot of, you know, I trade so I'm already emotionally like, it's stressful. So I. It's a high stress situation where you have to sort things out and deal with different personalities and remember certain things, and it's very difficult.
• 56:00
  Randall Kaplan: You're kissing multiple women on the same night who are back to back to back, touching them, hugging them. You know, feeling a little bit a little tushy action on a couple of these. I mean, it's hard to do. How do you actually focus and get to know who you want to be with when there's 25 people that you're kissing?
• 56:22
  Grant Ellis: I think that physical chemistry is a big part. You know, I like I said, I had been single for a while, so I was ready, you know, to really find my person. And I feel like, you know, you could tell a lot about a person. You know, some people are gonna say you're kissing too many people. But listen, I'm dating. I'm dating, and this is the way that I went about it, a lot of kissing, though it's a lot, it is a lot of kissing and to be public. But you know, if you don't have the chemistry with somebody, it's and you have to make a decision such a short amount of time, that's one way to figure it out.
• 56:50
  Grant Ellis: You know, okay, is there chemistry there? And then we could build on a friendship and see if it's there. There's
• 56:55
  Randall Kaplan: different kinds of kissers. Some you got the chemistry. Some you you have the chemistry. I mean, we're not going to get into who's who, but did you ever kiss one of the women? You're like, yuck. No, I was
• 57:05
  Grant Ellis: never like yuck. I think that all the ladies were, they were, they were really amazing, you know, I'll give kisser. They're all they were all good kissers. You know, they were all good kissers. All. We all had fresh breath. We all were on point, you know,
• 57:17
  Randall Kaplan: taking the I was, yeah, I was the minutes before, because the
• 57:20
  Grant Ellis: night is long, the night is long and, you know, you're drinking and I'm giving speeches and I'm talking. So I had, I had some, some minutes, I had some Tic Tacs on deck.
• 57:28
  Randall Kaplan: When I was single, I could tell if I was sexually attracted to someone in a millisecond, right? Isn't that the case for you? I mean, you got all these women. I mean, I could tell on the show you introduced the woman, I saw it, and I guessed where we were going to be, and I was like, 75% right? Is grant gonna like these girls based on their physical appearance? Didn't you know in a millisecond who you'd be interested in? Yeah, it's
• 57:58
  Grant Ellis: interesting, because the audience could tell better than I could tell. You know, I was in this place where I because I know that there's two ways in a relationship.
• 58:04
  Grant Ellis: There's a spark and there's a slow burn. So it's like you could think that you're not, you know, you could be on a scale of one to 10. You could be attracted to somebody, maybe, like a six in the range of Not, not their attracting this, but how, how much you're attracted to them. And then you could talk to them, be like, This person makes me laugh, or, Oh, like this person has their own unique and then that attraction could grow so, and then you could be a really attracted somebody off the RIP. And then you find out that there's not much depth there, so, or there's not much depth in your relationship. So, yeah, attraction is a spectrum.
• 58:32
  Grant Ellis: And is this for me, all the women were beautiful, but there's some that made me laugh more. There's some that, you know, the chemistry was there more, and there's some that the kiss was there more. So it's all it's all up for the moment. One
• 58:49
  Randall Kaplan: of the most common questions about the show is, at the end of the show, there's three finalists left.
• 58:54
  Randall Kaplan: You go into the Fantasy Suite.
• 58:54
  Randall Kaplan: You're spending a night with these women. So one of the questions is, are you having sex on multiple nights with all three women?
• 59:03
  Grant Ellis: Yeah, I try to, you know, I kiss a lot, but I handle myself the way and fantasy suites the way that I would want. But I had a daughter the way I want her to be treated. So I didn't, you know, I'm not going to divulge anything, but I handle myself with respect, and I treated the woman with respect. So that's the main thing
• 59:22
  Randall Kaplan: I can't imagine.
• 59:22
  Randall Kaplan: It must be mental torture.
• 59:24
  Randall Kaplan: You're one of three finalists on the show. You know that grant is going into the Fantasy Suite, and the worst things are going through your mind, that grant is having sex with this woman and that woman and that woman that just must be an absolute killer for these women. Yeah,
• 59:39
  Grant Ellis: I think so. I think that is definitely a deal breaker in relationship, because sex is something that is really important, and if you know that the person with his experience in that with other people, it could, it could ruin the whole relationship. So I definitely tried to keep that in mind, and that was a focal point in how I was thinking. And you know, you try to do this thing to make the relationship, if there is one, to make it last after the show.
• 1:00:03
  Grant Ellis: So
• 1:00:05
  Randall Kaplan: the show stopped filming in October, and the final is going to be in March.
• 1:00:08
  Randall Kaplan: We're not going to tell people the date. ABC is going to make it big thing. Here's the finale.
• 1:00:15
  Randall Kaplan: So you got five months between the winner. Whatever happens, we're not gonna spoil that either. What happens? But you're either engaged, you're probably engaged to the woman, the winner. You got five months, but you got to hide out. Are you doing a little sneaky, sneaky going through the window so you guys can still see each other during these five months? Well,
• 1:00:39
  Grant Ellis: if there is an engagement, there's a way that ABC handles it, you know, they keep a secret tunnels under the Yeah, maybe, maybe some secret tunnels, maybe some things of that nature. But they keep us happy. If there is somebody, you know, and I know, through, you know. Talked to Joey, you know, he told me the process. And Joey, Joey Garza, graziade, the last bachelor. So he told me, and I really learned through that experience. So, you know, can't divulge if there is, there is one, but I know there, just to tell you that, you know, I learned through them. And there is a process that we go through when
• 1:01:10
  Randall Kaplan: we're thinking about relationships and what makes them successful. Let's talk about some of those things.
• 1:01:16
  Randall Kaplan: Do professions matter, and do you want your wife to work full time before and after you have kids and the same to you, if your wife is a breadwinner, if your wife is the breadwinner and you want to stay home with the kids, what? What are you thinking? Yeah,
• 1:01:36
  Grant Ellis: so this is an area that I'm not that knowledgeable on, because, you know, my whole life I've been I've been like, I'm gonna be the one. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that, because that's what I had to do.
• 1:01:46
  Grant Ellis: So, but I do know, whatever my wife wants to do, she wants to work full time she can. She doesn't. We're gonna be we're gonna be fine either way. So whatever makes her happy, I think that's the direction I'm gonna go. And yeah, but listen, I haven't supported her family yet. You know, I've been able to help my mom, help my dad, help take care of them, take care of myself, but I know when you have kids, your lifestyle changes, and you have to really plan for that. So I'm not there, and I'm not that knowledgeable in that area, but I would like to say now that I think that I would be able to support and whatever my wife wants to do. If she wants to work full time, if she doesn't, she's free to do whatever she wants. When
• 1:02:31
  Randall Kaplan: I got married to my amazing wife, Madison, or beneath the Hupa, which is where Jewish people get married. And he said, the three, the two most important words in a relationship is, I'm sorry.
• 1:02:46
  Grant Ellis: I think that you could correlate that to sacrifice. I'm sorry, sacrifice.
• 1:02:48
  Grant Ellis: They're synonymous. They're like, basically, you know, in order to, in order to, you know, say I'm sorry, even if you feel like you're right, you gotta be like, You know what? Maybe I mean, you know, for the sake of the relationship, maybe I'll, you know, I'll apologize. And sometimes you don't want to sleep in the same room, you gotta, you know, you gotta, you gotta, or you got, or you don't want to talk, you gotta, you gotta sacrifice. One of the
• 1:03:15
  Randall Kaplan: most important aspects of a relationship in a marriage is being on the same page with money. So I've seen it lots of different ways. You know, the man comes with money, or the women comes in with money. Sometimes the partners will talk to one another, and here's what I have, here's what I have. You want to be on the same page? Some don't it's secret. What's your view on that, dude? Are you and your future wife going to say, Okay, we're gonna lay it out money wise. Here's what we have so you can plan for your future. Or do you plan on saying, Hey, this is mine, this is yours. And what we build together? We build together?
• 1:03:48
  Grant Ellis: Yeah, I think there's, you know, there's a world where you have maybe a joint account, and there's a world where you have your own finances. You know, whatever she's making from what she brings in, she keeps that.
• 1:03:59
  Grant Ellis: Whatever I'm making from what I bring, I keep that. But then I also could allocate, you know, maybe 10% a month, or 5% a month we put into a joint account, and that would be for maybe future kids, or down payment on a house or something like that. So, like I said, Can't Lose yourself in a relationship. And I've seen situations where women that I know, they you know, allow the man to be the breadwinner, and then he decides to get up and leave, and then she doesn't have anything, right? So she has to always think, you know, put yourself first, even though you know you have to put your partner. But in terms of finance, you have to have your own say. Safety Net. Never rely on somebody else for
• 1:04:39
  Randall Kaplan: to take care of you. Million percent. Are you good with money?
• 1:04:43
  Grant Ellis: Listen, I am a trader. I'm not the best. I have to learn money management in terms of spending, you know, I know how to make money, but 90% of the game is keeping it, you know, and being able to, being able to grow it. So I've made some I've spent some money, but as I grow older, I think that my really when I'll be really frugal and plan is when I'm planning to have a family, and I'm planning to now that I'm stepping into having to, you know, everything in my life I've done up until this point for my mom and dad and myself, really, you know, I've never had to provide for kids or provide for a wife. You know, my last relationship, I provided, but it was like now that I'm stepping into this area of my life, that's an area that I'm really gonna work on is planning more in terms of spending, there
• 1:05:33
  Randall Kaplan: are 50 to 100 Ferraris sold in Houston every year. You have a Ferrari f8 spider, where the retail price of that car is $324,738 that responsible? No, it's not responsible.
• 1:05:48
  Grant Ellis: It's not responsible. That's what I said.
• 1:05:51
  Grant Ellis: I'm not the i. I, you know, coming from, where I where I come from, and some of the things I've been through, it's like, as a young black man, when you get some money, you want to be like, I made it, you know.
• 1:06:01
  Grant Ellis: And I think that I learned from that, and I think that that's why I don't wear chains like that. I don't wear really expensive pieces. I normally just dress really modest, you know, I might have some fly kicks like you, or have some nice purchases, but, yeah, it's not the best purchase, but, you know, it's something that I wanted and something that comes from hard work. And I think that I'm happy. I'm happy, you know?
• 1:06:26
  Grant Ellis: So
• 1:06:29
  Randall Kaplan: when I got divorce many years ago, you know, I have three young kids, six, six and four. We had a minivan. It was black, Toyota Sienna. It was scratched and dented. But that was my daily car, not the coolest car in the world. So I bought myself a four door Maserati quatra port, which was awesome. That became my daily car when I wasn't with the kids. And a lot of Yip Yap in the community saying that the nice car was trying to compensate for something I lacked, physically. People,
• 1:06:59
  Grant Ellis: people are gonna talk man. People, that's one thing I'll learn. And it doesn't matter. We're
• 1:07:03
  Randall Kaplan: not gonna can we name what that is on the show?
• 1:07:06
  Randall Kaplan: Can Can we call it what it is?
• 1:07:06
  Randall Kaplan: What do you mean? They call it a small penis car? Oh, yeah, trying to compensate, compensate for your lack of endowment, right,
• 1:07:16
  Grant Ellis: right, right? I mean, that's not, I don't, I don't have any issues in that area. But I what I will say that people, people are always going to talk. You know, people are going to talk. You know, whether you're doing great or you're doing bad, they're going to say something. So, you know, I'm sure that, I'm sure that, you know, you're not trying to compensate. You know, neither am I. When
• 1:07:33
  Randall Kaplan: you walk around Beverly Hills and you're walking down Rodeo Drive, you got these guys revving the engines and their Lamborghinis and their Ferraris in Houston, there's Westheimer road and the Galleria are the kind of the two main drags There you go on in there, and you're revving the engine as you're driving by
• 1:07:51
  Grant Ellis: No Honestly, I listen, my car that I drive every day is an Acura, driving Acura, you know, 2019 TLX. Don't rev my engine. And when I see that, I don't judge, you know, I don't, I don't, I don't really, you know, I made a purchase because it's a dream of mine.
• 1:08:06
  Grant Ellis: And my dad was an exotic car dealer, like, I had pictures with my dad where he's with Eddie Murphy, and we're inside the shop, and he's, you know, selling a car. So I'm like, I just like cars, you know, I I'm not a huge car guy, but it's just something that I grew up around it. So I'm not somebody who's gonna be revenue engine.
• 1:08:25
  Grant Ellis: If somebody wants to race me, they could race themselves.
• 1:08:27
  Randall Kaplan: When I grew up, I didn't have a lot of money.
• 1:08:31
  Randall Kaplan: And I go to the Porsche dealership every year, I sit in a Porsche 911 company goes public. I can afford the car.
• 1:08:39
  Randall Kaplan: And I waited some time too, because, oh shit, like $107,000 for this Porsche. That's that's a lot of dough. And so couple things I remember. I got the car, and first day, I took it home, and I washed the car, and I dropped this big bucket. I thought, okay, it's great. And the bucket was round, and it has still this little round den on the back of the car. And I didn't rev it, but I had a I had a photo shoot. Someone was writing a piece on me about this kid in Detroit who paid it big.
• 1:09:11
  Randall Kaplan: And I remember I had the top down, and then the studio was in the worst neighborhood possible.
• 1:09:16
  Randall Kaplan: Oh, pumped in. I'm driving through it, and I can't figure out how to put the top up, and all these guys are looking around. Oh man. And I gotta go inside. You know, if tiger said, Do not be late, Do not be late.
• 1:09:28
  Randall Kaplan: And so I had to leave the car outside with the top down, and I just didn't feel say, it's like, stop sign after stop sign, like, oh shit, is my car gonna come out and still be there? I've been in
• 1:09:38
  Grant Ellis: some situations like that, and it's definitely tough when you're going through a rough neighborhood, and you know what they call that run from it's like you're an easy lick, like they look at you, like the like they could get you, you know. So you gotta be, gotta be prepared. You know,
• 1:09:50
  Randall Kaplan: the average length of a relationship that someone lives together before they get married is 2.8 years thoughts on how long you're gonna live with your fiance before you
• 1:09:58
  Grant Ellis: get married. That's not the average length of the relationship that's living together, that's living together, yeah, I think that's, that's
• 1:10:05
  Randall Kaplan: sorry, right on, sorry. That's the average length of dating before they become engaged, before that.
• 1:10:10
  Grant Ellis: Okay? Uh, yeah, I think that. Listen, I'm not Dr Phil, but I think that that's good. That's a good that's a good time frame. You know, some people move faster than others.
• 1:10:20
  Grant Ellis: Some people move slower. You know, it's just about how you feel and where you're at in your life. If you're like in your mid 20s, 2524 you might take a little long. But if you're third in your 30s, you know, you might if you find a person and things, you know, just depends on where you're
• 1:10:32
  Randall Kaplan: at. I was single for seven and a half years. I had a relationship for two of those years, so I had five years. It was craziness, you know, you're in LA and I was working a lot, running three different companies, and very focused on my kids as well. You know, I'm divorced. Home for dinner every night, pick them up from school when I had them 5050, cut. See. And it was, it was nutty. And I met my wife, Madison in New York, and we got engaged three months later, and here we are, 11 and a half years later, she ended up living, moving from New York and living with us for about one and a half years. And I just think it's a great, great thing to do. You have to know your partner big time. 20% of engagements don't result in marriage, and half the marriages in the United States fail. The divorce rates, 50% crazy numbers, yeah. Does that scare you?
• 1:11:24
  Grant Ellis: Never, really, never really looked into it with like, a pessimistic mindset. You know, I'm usually pretty optimistic on things, and I'm not going to go into it thinking, you know this, I'm 50% fail, you know, I'm just going to do my best, and if it doesn't work out, then it just wasn't meant to be. So, yeah, that's pretty much, that's, that's all I got on that. You know, I'm not scared, but I like again, I said, I think that having a solid foundation, aligning on core values, you know, keeping things spicy, keeping things fun, I think that you know, over the long run it could, it could be beneficial. So
• 1:12:06
  Randall Kaplan: you look at the success of The Bachelor on a long term relationship basis over 28 season. Here are the stats, 22 engagements, several marriages, and only two remain married, right? You know that going into the show? Uh,
• 1:12:20
  Grant Ellis: I didn't, I didn't know that going on show. I know, but looking, look at the stats of how marriage is in America today, so I think it's, I think it's a, if you ask me, I think it's a core value issue. You know, people, people grow apart, which I understand. People grow at different paces, develop different interests, different hobbies, viewpoints might change, but you know, commitment is is past love. So if it's something that you know, I know on my end, looking at marriage, I definitely want committed, and I think it's rooted in my faith, and I think that, like, I'm a very committed person. So hopefully, you know, if things go that route, or whatever happens at the end of all this, if it is marriage, if it isn't marriage, whatever it is, I think I'm gonna stay committed to my purpose.
• 1:13:11
  Randall Kaplan: Do you ever get any pressure from the producers on the show and say, Grant man, This better work out, because it's not gonna look good when the show ends if you don't get engaged. No,
• 1:13:20
  Grant Ellis: no. Because, like I said, regardless, you can go on there and be Shakespeare.
• 1:13:23
  Grant Ellis: Somebody's gonna tell you that you're not saying the right things. You can go on there and do everything right. It's always gonna be opinions, and that's what just happens when you're in the spotlight. So whether it doesn't work out, whether it does work out, you just gotta be yourself 60. Yourself. Sit to your heart, sit to your gut. Be good person and let the chips fall where they fall.
• 1:13:40
  Randall Kaplan: Aren't all 25 women on their best behavior when they're sitting in there having time with you. Um, listen,
• 1:13:45
  Grant Ellis: they they may be with you, but you could judge somebody's character by how they interact with other people.
• 1:13:51
  Randall Kaplan: So you watch them interact with other people, because when all the cattiness is going on, you're not
• 1:13:55
  Grant Ellis: in the room, Yeah, but you're could be on Date group dates. You know, there's times when you get to assess the situation and be and be vigilant, you know, and just check out like what's going on.
• 1:14:03
  Grant Ellis: But I'm not going to say, you know, best behavior is there.
• 1:14:07
  Grant Ellis: They all want to find a partner, and they're there for you. So when they're with you, they're gonna try to connect. But you, you know, if somebody is not getting along with this person, you can start to see, okay, why?
• 1:14:19
  Grant Ellis: And then you see interactions.
• 1:14:19
  Grant Ellis: And then you just kind of assess there, you know, do you
• 1:14:22
  Randall Kaplan: know what's going on behind the scenes on the show, the backstabbing and all the Riff Raff going on? You
• 1:14:28
  Grant Ellis: don't know. You don't know what's going on. You kind of have to, you're in, you're in a little dark spot.
• 1:14:33
  Grant Ellis: You're in a little blind spot, and you have to, you have to take context clues.
• 1:14:37
  Randall Kaplan: There is competition for the show. All the women want to be the one, and just like in the real world, people are going to basically, sometimes shit on someone else to try to make themself look better. And you were on a solo date, and one of the women said, Okay, someone told you that you were really into her, I forget the exact words, and she was all very uncomfortable about that.
• 1:14:59
  Randall Kaplan: And then you confronted Rose, who had said it, and she's just crying all over the place, busted, but yet you still gave her rose to move on to the next show.
• 1:15:10
  Grant Ellis: Yeah, that was something that, you know, because my word is something I try to really stand on, and that's my character, you know, I'm not gonna say, first of all, I think that was probably the that's a bad move personally, and just all around to say that.
• 1:15:21
  Grant Ellis: So I like, that's something I wouldn't do. But I also, I accepted her apology, and we had a connection. So even though that dampered it a little bit. I wanted to see if, you know, give that person a second chance. So I think that's why I did that.
• 1:15:39
  Grant Ellis: But
• 1:15:41
  Randall Kaplan: isn't that someone's true character? I mean, that just is not smart you're on the show, you're taking a massive risk, and how do you know that isn't.
• 1:15:52
  Randall Kaplan: Someone's character in general?
• 1:15:52
  Randall Kaplan: Yeah,
• 1:15:54
  Grant Ellis: definitely. It definitely makes you, especially when you're first meeting someone, it definitely makes you question, and then to you want to allow a little more time for things to unfold, for things to unfold, to see, was that really said? Was that really, you know, did care? Did somebody say something different. Was there a mix up? So, you know, thinking logically, you know, maybe you send that person home the same night. But also, you know, you have to hear let the story unfold a little more. When I
• 1:16:25
  Randall Kaplan: was dating Madison, we went to Greece after one month, and at this point, I've been single for a long time and just wasn't ready to mess around anymore. I want to get married. I want to have more kids. And she was living in New York, and so there was a woman in LA who was interested in me, and I was interested in her, and I asked my buddy, John turzin, who's going to be on my show tomorrow, by the way, amazing guy, age would group shout out to John. I said, you know, do you know Madison? And he said, No, but I think I have a friend that did. And so I talked to this girl, and she was interested in dating me. She shit all over Madison, and gave me all kinds of stuff about these trips she's taken to Vegas, et cetera, et cetera. And so I had a little bit of a damper on it. I mean, I assessed the situation, you know, she's saying it because you want to date me or whatever. But on the trip to Greece, I mean, we talked about a lot of things, you know, kids, religion, values, I said, By the way, I said, you know, who's I heard this from somebody, and she said, Who? And I no problem telling her, by the way, because there's no need to beat around the bush, you know, I'm gonna tell her who the source is. And said, I met that girl once she was in Vegas. She isn't very well liked, and that's the case.
• 1:17:46
  Randall Kaplan: I mean, she finally got married, but was single for a very, very long period of time. I think at some point you can't change your stripes.
• 1:17:52
  Grant Ellis: Yeah? And then if somebody does something that doesn't align with your character, like, if that's not something you would do, and somebody's doing, it probably not gonna work out, you know? So that's a good way to tell, yeah, no one's perfect. Nobody's perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. As a fact, you have a bucket
• 1:18:08
  Randall Kaplan: list. And one a bucket list is you want to travel to as many countries as possible, right? What are the top five things on your bucket list? In addition to that, travel plan, start
• 1:18:17
  Grant Ellis: a hedge fund, have a family. In addition to traveling, try all different food groups. I think that's something.
• 1:18:29
  Randall Kaplan: What's one food group that you haven't tried?
• 1:18:30
  Randall Kaplan: I've had
• 1:18:32
  Grant Ellis: a little bit of Indian food, but just the basic butter, chicken, garlic naan. I want to try different foods in that category, spicy, spicy. I like spicy. I like spicy food. I like spicy food. Yeah, those would be, like my top three things, probably, all
• 1:18:48
  Randall Kaplan: right, we're at the end of the show. And I always finish a show with a game I call. Fill in the blank to excellence. Are you ready to play? I'm ready. The biggest lesson I've learned in my life is biggest
• 1:18:58
  Grant Ellis: lesson I've learned in my life is to forgive. My number one professional goal is my. Number one professional goal is to start a hedge fund. My number one personal goal is my.
• 1:19:08
  Grant Ellis: Number one personal goal is to learn how to love better. My biggest regret is my biggest regret. I don't I don't have regrets. I just I don't have regrets. My biggest fear is. My biggest fear is not living up to my potential.
• 1:19:23
  Randall Kaplan: The biggest mistake I've made in my life is
• 1:19:25
  Grant Ellis: biggest mistake I made in my life up until this point, was probably where I committed to college, honestly, probably
• 1:19:33
  Randall Kaplan: where I committed to college. Why do you consider that a mistake? Because
• 1:19:36
  Grant Ellis: I had a lot of I had a lot of offers, and I rushed it. I was young, didn't have the right guidance. And looking back at it as a 31 year old man, I would have took my time and assessed the situation and made the break the right
• 1:19:47
  Randall Kaplan: decision. Is education critical to our future success? I think education is
• 1:19:51
  Grant Ellis: very critical. I think the traditional route of education is changing, but I think furthering your knowledge is critical. You have to learn you have to learn new things.
• 1:20:00
  Grant Ellis: You have to always push yourself, but you don't. This is maybe a controversial take.
• 1:20:03
  Grant Ellis: School is important, but with the use of the Internet and today, you can learn how to be an entrepreneur, how to be a businessman, and how to handle yourself through different people that are online. You know,
• 1:20:16
  Randall Kaplan: the biggest challenge I faced in my life is biggest challenge I
• 1:20:19
  Grant Ellis: faced in my life was learning how to forgive, learning how to forgive and deal with inner, inner struggles that I
• 1:20:29
  Randall Kaplan: had. The most prideful moment in my life has been most prideful
• 1:20:33
  Grant Ellis: moment in my life was an argument I had with my father, and I said some really mean things, because I was hurt, and I forgot that he's the one that gave birth to me, you know, so that I had some pride there, the craziest thing that's ever happened to me is. Craziest thing ever had to me was becoming the bachelor. The funniest thing that's ever happened to me is funniest thing has ever happened to me. I was I was like, eight. I was eight years old. I was playing hide and go seek, and I got found out, and the person scared me, and I got scared, and snot came out of my nose in front of everybody. It was just like, it was bad. It was bad. The
• 1:21:10
  Randall Kaplan: best advice I've ever received is to go with your heart. The worst advice I've ever received is don't get into day training. 10 years from now, I'm going to be
• 1:21:19
  Grant Ellis: doing, hopefully I'm with, you know, I have a family, building a life, and just enjoy enjoying my life. 20 years from now, I'm going to be doing, probably getting a knee replacement surgery.
• 1:21:32
  Randall Kaplan: The best advice I have for the next Bachelor is best
• 1:21:35
  Grant Ellis: advice I have is be yourself. Be yourself, and, yeah, just always be yourself.
• 1:21:41
  Randall Kaplan: If you could pick one trait that would lead to somebody's success, it is perseverance. The one thing I've dreamt about doing for a long time but haven't is one thing I've dreamt about doing
• 1:21:50
  Grant Ellis: for a long time but haven't is travel to every country there is. If
• 1:21:55
  Randall Kaplan: you could go back and give your 21 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be? Get into trading earlier 100% if you could be one person in the world, who would it be? LeBron James, if you were President Trump, what's the next thing you would do in office tomorrow?
• 1:22:10
  Grant Ellis: Man, listen, I am not a student politics. You know, I have no comment on that.
• 1:22:12
  Grant Ellis: No comment. Controversial, controversial. I listen. I'm very, I'm like, very immediate training. Okay? I would invest money into people that work in unions, you know, the middle class. I think it's the backbone of our society and really make sure they're taken care
• 1:22:35
  Randall Kaplan: of. You mentioned media training. How much media training do you have for the show? There are some
• 1:22:39
  Grant Ellis: media training, but there's some, you know, they prep you on certain things are gonna happen. But ultimately, when you're on the sea, it's up to you to say whatever you're gonna say. So when I say media training, I just, I've been an athlete my whole life, so I've had to do presses and yeah, so just that's part of what I mean, you're pro union. Yeah, a lot of my friends work in the union, you know? I think that they work hard. I think that they work really hard. I'm not gonna say I'm pro Union, but, you know, guy, I think that we need, you know, we need that. It's very
• 1:23:06
  Randall Kaplan: important. The unions have an important place in society today, 20 100 years ago, 90 years ago, I think there was a great purpose for a union, but a lot of people today say not necessary at all.
• 1:23:19
  Grant Ellis: I think that a union is very important. You have to have somebody that's looking out for the person that's working hard, somebody that has their back. I think that this may be off talking about a very important part of leadership is leading from leading from behind, you know, pushing people forward that are that need it. You know, people in the Union definitely, you know, they had that having that support is big.
• 1:23:43
  Randall Kaplan: The one question you wish I had asked you but didn't, is, how long does it take you to know
• 1:23:47
  Grant Ellis: that somebody is your person?
• 1:23:49
  Randall Kaplan: I think the love of my life is Madison, and I realized after spending so this is a crazy story. I'll tell you the story, I was on a date with another woman. We're going to Brentwood. She drove to my house first. I wasn't digging the whole feel. I could tell she wanted to get romantic, even before we went to dinner. I was just not comfortable. You know, I think as a as a man or a woman, I think a lot of people love sex. It's the most enjoyable activity in the world for most people. So a lot of people would be like, okay, whatever. Let's, you know, let's go. And I just wasn't feeling it, and I didn't like the dinner conversation, so when she got up to go to the bathroom, I had been invited the day before, to a place called the Soho House.
• 1:24:32
  Randall Kaplan: It's a cool club kind of thing, and I'd never been there before.
• 1:24:35
  Randall Kaplan: There's a group of cool guys.
• 1:24:38
  Randall Kaplan: And I said, No, I can't do it.
• 1:24:38
  Randall Kaplan: Got this day as much I want to go, not going to cancel the date. I just there's a woman that I'd want to take out. She goes to the bathroom. I wasn't digging it. I text my friends, Hey, can I come? You know, a little bit. So a woman comes back to the table and I get migraines. So I said, I got this terrible headache. I got to go home, right? Like, oh, you know, we'll drive home. I was driving her car was at my house, and she said, Okay, I'll take care of you. We got to the house like, No, you know, got a migraine.
• 1:25:04
  Randall Kaplan: Can't have a photon of light in the in the house. And I go, Well, let me put your bed. Like, no, no, no, no. She said, You shining me on I said, No, I really don't feel well. So she left. I waited 15 minutes because I was nervous. She hadn't cleared out of the neighborhood. I felt like she was not really believe me. So I go to Soho House, and I'm there, and I'm sitting next to this woman, I'm not going to mention her name, and it was cool. She was cool. She was pretty and for whatever reason, she started showing me photos of her, and there's full frontal nudity. I'm like, Holy shit, this one's gorgeous and like, and she's got a great personality, whatever, we became friends, and she moved to Los Angeles. She was here kind of part time, and then I was taking her out on a date, and I. Madison, my wife, was living in New York. She was modeling. She had four jobs when I met her, and then we went to katsu, right down the street, and she crashed a day at the last minute, they came back to my house and played the drums in the Wii in my bedroom. Okay, till two in the morning, the Wii was like, in a room, and then I'm playing the drums, and they're sitting on the bed, and they're playing the drum like, Oh, I got these two gorgeous women in the bedroom. Nothing happened. And then we kept in touch, and not really in touch, but we were Facebook friends. I got her number, and she posts on Facebook going to Hawaii with my boyfriend. Can't wait for two weeks. And I texted her, is this the engagement trip? And she wrote back hardly. And I wrote back, oh, you're incredible. You don't have to settle and I texted her four days later, I been to the resort a bunch of times. I said, Hey, how's the trip coin? I said, we broke up.
• 1:26:41
  Randall Kaplan: So I said, Oh, I love to come New York and take you to dinner.
• 1:26:44
  Randall Kaplan: And said, No, I live with my boy. Got to get my own place, so I basically lied. I'm coming to the freeze Art Fair this weekend because she said, I'll be in California. She's from Fresno.
• 1:26:57
  Randall Kaplan: My sister is getting married.
• 1:27:00
  Randall Kaplan: Maybe I can get together this summer. It's like, you got to strike when that iron is hot.
• 1:27:05
  Randall Kaplan: It's like, man, one second you miss it. One day you're done.
• 1:27:08
  Randall Kaplan: Yeah. So I said, I'm coming to New York. We went to dinner twice, and I said to her, it was great. I mean, I'd been single for a long time. I dated all the wrong women. I knew what I wanted, and I thought she was the perfect partner for me. And when we left, when I left after two nights in New York, I said, I know you're just getting out of something. And I just think there's something here, and I'm gonna go back to lay and I'm not gonna date anybody, but you can do what you want. It. Of course, that was fucking bullshit. I didn't wanna do anything, right?
• 1:27:42
  Randall Kaplan: And so we ended up seeing each other once we took the trip to Greece, and at that point I knew. So I think when you know you know, right?
• 1:27:53
  Grant Ellis: When you know, you know, and I think, yeah, for me, I know, like, because there's so many beautiful women out there, but it's hard to find character that aligns with yours. So when I see traits in that where I'm like, okay, not only am I attracted to you, but your character stands out. Yeah, that's what I know. And listen my life, I've been through some struggles. So when somebody has my back, and I know they're like, a rider, they're there for me, I'm like, Okay, I'll give I'll give you everything. You know what I'm saying at that point. So you know, say, Well, not everything. I'm still got my own, but you know what I'm saying, like, I will sacrifice for you if I know that you have my back, if you if you're not after me for you know, obviously you're going to be attracted and obviously there's, you know, what I can offer and provide.
• 1:28:37
  Grant Ellis: There's a mutual benefit relationship, but if you love me for who I am on the inside. So that's, that's when I start to fall my
• 1:28:44
  Randall Kaplan: wife is drop that gorgeous. And when she walks in the room, people look and they turn their heads. When people tell me, your wife is so beautiful, I tell them, she's a lot more beautiful on the inside than the outside, and that at the end of the day is way more important, because at the end of the day, it looks fade, and it's really what's inside that matters. She also went to business school, graduated college in three years, and she lost football. So the football guy, like I got the TV on Sunday, there's no there's no complaining that is watching football. The calendar comes out. The Michigan Wolverines goes into the calendar. The Detroit Lions going to the calendar. She knows that's my time, and she'll watch, you know, when she can. That's
• 1:29:27
  Grant Ellis: so important. And you know, like my night one speech was, it was called the strength of a woman. Women have so much to offer. They when you find the right when you find the right person, the right person to match you, it's like it's better than any amount of money that you could have. Obviously, you need money, you know what I'm saying, but it is like striking gold. You find somebody that understands you that compliments you, you know.
• 1:29:53
  Grant Ellis: Because a lot of times as men, we think, you know, we're very calculated and we're very, you know. And women come around by light like, you know, to have a drink, lighten up. Let's have some fun. Let's do something that takes your mind off of things and they and then they hold you up when you're down.
• 1:30:08
  Grant Ellis: And sometimes we don't think about things that they think about. So it's like a perfect union in the middle when you find the right person. The right person and build you up. So that's, that's, yeah, I am. I'm just excited. I'm excited for how things play
• 1:30:22
  Randall Kaplan: out. I'm so fortunate that I got to meet some of the most successful business people in the world, and I've interviewed two coaches in the last two months who have coached hundreds of 1000s of men over the last 10 or 15 years, and they've said to me, one of the most important traits of a man's success is finding the right partner to support them, be with them, share with them and grow together. And I agree with them, 1,000,000% I'm with you on that. Any other questions that you want to ask me before we finish this? Day. Man, I'm just,
• 1:30:53
  Grant Ellis: I just want to give you your flowers. Man, I really enjoyed the interview. You're such an intellectual person. You know, you're calculated, you're smart, and I could tell that you care. So that's something that you know. Before I leave here.
• 1:31:03
  Grant Ellis: Just want to give you your flowers. And I really enjoyed the interview. I enjoyed getting into finance, trading, talking about love. It was a well rounded conversation. Well,
• 1:31:12
  Randall Kaplan: I think you're an awesome guy. I'm excited for your future. Excited to watch the show again, ABC, eight o'clock Eastern time, eight o'clock Pacific time. If you missed the show live, it's on Hulu the next day. Yes, sir, one day later. So again, congratulations on all your success. I'm excited for your future. Thank you, Matt. I appreciate it. Thank you. I enjoyed it. Go, me too, you.