Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Wild online dating

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Wild online dating · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop, stop what you're doing.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous crank call from Darren Wackhead,
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: something that ex exclusive to KFM mornings.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: Okay, so I'm calling the free chat line, which is
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: a real chat line in America, and this thing are
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: paying dollars for this, right, Lonely Hearts Club, Absolutely right.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: It's it's real people.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: It's not paid workers on the other end to talk
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: forty to you. It's just like some other dude somewhere
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: in the world that's phoning in and wanting to chat
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: connection please, you know. So there's all these different groups
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: you choose when you when you go into and there
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: it connects you the likes versus the likes.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: And you would have heard me do a few of these.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: I'm quite a few of these, and they always go
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: dirty early, you know enough, put the brakes on.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: Sorry, I was gonna ask, is this similar to what
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: we hear about dating platforms that there's an overwhelming slide
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: to two males dominated. So if you got on there
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: as a lady, you're going to get a lot of interest.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, does Jennifer get a lot of love? A
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: lot a lot you only hear? Yeah? The one that
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: I actually what do you want us to here?
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't hear what I'm doing.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Actually, what are you saying, Brad? The bros are lonely?
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well that's what I'm trying to inquire. Yeah, so
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: this chat line of the gens in numbers there, the
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: lady's too bred, Jennifer aside.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, Jennifer's said, but but yeah.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: So she gets a lot.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Of interest, and I see why people just get down
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: to it because it's expensive on this this this phone call.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a it's six dollars a minute. Yeah, when hick,
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: that's six dollars a minute. So they try go filthy
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: early and I always try to stop that, and then
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: I like, I always get them to do something ridiculous. Okay,
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: you know they say a bird in the hand, so
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: and that's where it goes. And you know, Jennifer's Jennifer's looking,
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: you know, doing things the right way?
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Is she in her world? She she's men have barked
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: at Jennifer because she loves animal sounds.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: They've done power tools, they've I forget now, so many things. Okay,
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: so what is Jennifer doing today? Let's find out.
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: Welcome to live Chat. To leave dial operator. Now, in
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: just a moment, you'll record a brief, public outgoing message
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: that all the other callers will hear at the tone.
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: Start speaking. When done, hit the pound key so I
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: can play it back to you for your approval.
• 2:58
  Speaker 6: Hi, this is Jennifer. I'm a hot blonde looking for
• 3:03
  Speaker 6: hot guys to chat too. Hi, this is Jennifer. I'm
• 3:10
  Speaker 6: a hot blonde looking for hot guys to chest too.
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: To repeat, press one to confirm and continue. Press three
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: you can't. Your message is now live. When you hang up,
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: it's automatically erase. Now here's is online live?
• 3:30
  Speaker 7: Excuse me.
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: Here's a message from someone who wants to talk to
• 3:33
  Speaker 5: you live one on one.
• 3:35
  Speaker 7: Hey Jenner, I'm hot too. I'd love to talk with you.
• 3:38
  Speaker 7: Why don't we connect and we can play sixty nine
• 3:42
  Speaker 7: or something.
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: To repeat that message, Press one, go ahead, you're connected.
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: When done, hit the pound sign. That's the pound sign.
• 3:54
  Speaker 5: Say hello, Hello.
• 3:56
  Speaker 6: Hello, who's that?
• 3:58
  Speaker 7: This is John? Who's this John?
• 4:00
  Speaker 6: This is Jennifer.
• 4:02
  Speaker 7: Hey, how are you Jennifer?
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I'm finding you, sweetie. Where are you?
• 4:10
  Speaker 7: I'm in upstate New York. Where are you?
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: I'm in Nevada.
• 4:14
  Speaker 7: Oh that's right, Nevada. Yeah, I'd love to be out
• 4:17
  Speaker 7: there in Nevada and put my arms around you.
• 4:19
  Speaker 6: John.
• 4:20
  Speaker 7: I'd like to give you a nice, big French kiss.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Oh, so what do you look like? John?
• 4:25
  Speaker 7: I'm five ten, one hundred and sixty five pounds, flat tummy,
• 4:31
  Speaker 7: slim built and clean, brown eyes of old grand hair.
• 4:36
  Speaker 7: How about you?
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: How old are you? John?
• 4:40
  Speaker 7: I hope just don't scarey you away now, don't hang up.
• 4:43
  Speaker 7: I'm fifty five and alive.
• 4:45
  Speaker 6: Fifty five. I like an older man.
• 4:49
  Speaker 7: Fifty five and alive. Yes, how old are you?
• 4:52
  Speaker 6: I love it.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I'm twenty seventy.
• 4:56
  Speaker 7: Oh. I love to have you here with me right now.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Are you married? John?
• 5:03
  Speaker 6: Well? John, I'm a good Southern girl, so I don't
• 5:08
  Speaker 6: do anything before marriage. So if you want to do anything, John,
• 5:16
  Speaker 6: You're gonna have to make an honest girl out of me,
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: you know.
• 5:20
  Speaker 7: Oh? Yeah, yes, you go from the kiss and did it?
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Whoa, whoa whoa?
• 5:25
  Speaker 6: John?
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Are you going to marry me first?
• 5:28
  Speaker 7: That would be nice? Yes?
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Then just give me a little proposal.
• 5:33
  Speaker 7: Oh, Jennifer, would you marry me?
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, I thought you'd never ask.
• 5:38
  Speaker 6: John.
• 5:41
  Speaker 7: Oh, I'd love to marry you.
• 5:43
  Speaker 6: Yes, just don't pretend I'm walking down the aisle.
• 5:47
  Speaker 7: Oh, all right.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: And you're looking at me.
• 5:51
  Speaker 7: And you look so good to me.
• 5:55
  Speaker 6: Can you just play that that that music, the wedding march,
• 6:01
  Speaker 6: mm hmm.
• 6:01
  Speaker 7: Come to the bride, m h.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: M.
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: We're standing at the altar, we're holding hands. John, my
• 6:22
  Speaker 6: brother is a preacher man, so he's here with me. Now.
• 6:28
  Speaker 6: He's gonna marry us quickly.
• 6:31
  Speaker 7: Okay, that sounds good.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: He'll just be in the room now and then he's
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: gonna go.
• 6:38
  Speaker 7: All right.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: What is your surname?
• 6:40
  Speaker 6: John?
• 6:42
  Speaker 7: Oh? John Oh? John is fine. Jones.
• 6:46
  Speaker 6: Okay, here's my brother, the preacher. He's gonna marry us.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Please repeat after me, John I, John Jones, Hi, John Jones.
• 6:58
  Speaker 7: Take you, Jenna, Thank you, Jennifer.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: To be my wife, Be my wife.
• 7:06
  Speaker 7: To having to hold you, haven't to hold.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: From this day forward.
• 7:10
  Speaker 7: From this day forward, for better.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Or for worse, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer,
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.
• 7:22
  Speaker 7: In sickness and in health.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: To love and to cherish, Love and to cherish from
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: this day forward, from this day forward, until death, do us.
• 7:32
  Speaker 7: Part, until death do us part?
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Do you Jennifer do all of these things too.
• 7:38
  Speaker 7: I do, Yes, I do, my dear.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: Now, with the power invested in me by the State
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: of Nevada, United States of America, I pronounce you man
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: and wife. You may kiss the bride.
• 7:57
  Speaker 6: All right, all right, we're married, John, You're officially my husband.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: What do you want to do now?
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: We gotta get to bed.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: John.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: What does it feel like that you've just married a man?
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Can you Jennifer, John, it's not Jennifer, you just married
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: a man?
• 8:20
  Speaker 7: Oh great?
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Do you still want to go to bed?
• 8:25
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: He was a bit freaking when he was.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: I got a vision of a horror movie, but.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: He got right into it, like straight, Yeah, I want you.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: We're married.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Let's that the jet lie, it's the good players cry
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: just a little here on k in Mornings. We got
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: some messages here from it. Sounds like that role should
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: be played by Hannibal Lecter.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Who was that. Anthony Hopkins also like a like the joker,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: you know, walking and ready to do something. Yeah, yeah, continue,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: let's just hear that again.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: He's walking down a dark alley with bad intentions.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's every villain scared. That's if lived. Okay, your messages.
• 10:00
  Speaker 8: The best part is when he starts humming like a
• 10:02
  Speaker 8: rapper or Boyd and rapper. M Yeah, Jennifer didn't even
• 10:10
  Speaker 8: start yet, and I cringed more than I did watching
• 10:14
  Speaker 8: Michael Scott from the office.
• 10:16
  Speaker 6: Yeah, China's must open that forty.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Five fifty five and alive, ready to thrive.
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: Okay,