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37. 3 Habits to Stay Encouraged When Ministry Feels Hard · Believe & Become | Ministry, Biblical Encouragement, God's Will, How to Change, Holy Spirit

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Today we're talking about how to minister from a healthy place. Ministry can look like so many things. It's not just being a pastor or a church leader. It can be how you love your family or your co workers. It can be how you take care of people who can't take care of you. But here's the catch. Ministry can feel so hard and leave you feeling exhausted and depleted. But what if it doesn't have to? What if ministry left you excited and filled up? We believe we can learn to minister from a place of health and it can be a life giving part of our lives. Like Jesus said, His yoke is easy and his burden is light.
• 0:40
  Speaker B: If you're tired of leading others while secretly battling doubt, discouragement and mental warfare
• 0:45
  Speaker A: and you want practical tools to renew your mind and walk boldly in your
• 0:49
  Speaker B: calling as a leader, you're in the right place. Welcome to believe and become.
• 0:53
  Speaker A: We're Josh and Corina your spirit filled coaches here to help you overcome those limiting beliefs and lead others confidently.
• 1:00
  Speaker B: If you're ready to hear God's voice more clearly to step into your purpose and find joy and strength in the
• 1:05
  Speaker A: everyday silence those Bible app reminders judging you from your lock screen and let's jump in.
• 1:17
  Speaker B: Are you feeling stuck? Unsure of where God is leading? You're worried that there's something wrong with you because you just can't seem to hear him clearly?
• 1:25
  Speaker A: We spent years stuck in patterns of frustration and disappointment because we just didn't have the clarity or the courage we needed to step forward. We felt like we needed God to part the skies and tell us what to do. We knew God had more for our lives, but we didn't really know who we were in Christ or believe it enough to step into it.
• 1:43
  Speaker B: Friend, you don't have to stay stuck. You were made to hear God's voice. We invite you to come and learn the simple process we use to overcome the limiting beliefs holding you back and hear God clearly for your next steps.
• 1:57
  Speaker A: When we were able to see ourselves as God does and break free from the enemy's lies, our lives changed completely. Where we once walked in fear and discouragement, now we walk in victory. Instead of waking up depleted before the day even starts, we wake up ready to walk in the fulfillment of our calling.
• 2:17
  Speaker B: So head right now to joshandcorina.com/coaching and get started on your path to freedom.
• 2:24
  Speaker A: Today we're talking about habits to stay encouraged when ministry feels hard. And boy do we know about that.
• 2:30
  Speaker B: Yes we do.
• 2:32
  Speaker A: We spent many years in full time volunteer ministry and so, so what that looked like was Josh had a 40 hour a week job to which he commuted and commuted home. We had kids at home that we were raising. I was homeschooling and I was leading Bible studies. And we were both involved in kind of like pastoral teaching roles. And then we had a whole thriving music ministry that we directed. And it was often exhausting. We had many weeks where we, you know, you're. Josh is working 40 hours a week plus commuting. And then we have this other whole ministry that we're doing. It was exhausting. And at times it really felt isolating. Like, does anybody else understand what we're going through? And so that was really hard for us.
• 3:19
  Speaker B: Yeah, we spent years really kind of trying to do it on our own, to do ministry on our own, which is exhausting. I know that I was operating out of a lot of times I was trying to earn God's love, earn his favorite. And we all have a heart to serve God. We want to serve God, we want to love Him. But sometimes we just don't feel like we're good enough. I don't. I haven't earned his love. I have to do something. And so I think a lot of the ministry that I did came from that place of trying to earn God's favor, to be good enough for Him. And that, that really is a recipe for getting burnt out, really. I mean, it's exhausting trying to do it on your own.
• 4:00
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 4:00
  Speaker B: And what we need to do is really rely on the Holy Spirit, rely on God, that we're working with him instead of for Him.
• 4:08
  Speaker A: Well, and I think that you can equate that to not knowing who you are in Christ. Because if you know how much God loves you and how he sees you and how excited and proud he is of you, then you don't have to earn his love. You don't have to work hard for him and prove to him what a good son you are, what a good pastor or servant or whatever it might be. You just get to operate out of who he made you to be. And so I think that not knowing who we were in Christ was probably like the biggest problem. But also we weren't taking care of ourselves. We weren't getting filled up most of the time. We were just pouring out. And, you know, we would have quiet time here and there, but we weren't consistent because it was. Once again, we're exhausted and we don't have all the time that we feel like we need to really take care of our souls and Take care of ourselves before we're taking care of other people.
• 5:02
  Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, we spent all this time pouring out trying to help other people to love them well, but we really weren't taking the time to make sure that we had what we needed from God. And just to be healthy overall, physically, spiritually, emotionally, across the board, we were just empty all the time, depleted. So we know what it feels like. I know that many of you out there know what that feels like, too. It can be really tough. And the other thing is, we weren't intentional about building healthy, encouraging relationships because we receive a lot from other people, and especially having people that are there with you that know what's going on, know what it's like to be in ministry and be working and raising the kids, doing all those things. I mean, we were surrounded by people that loved us and encouraged us, but we really needed to be intentional about finding those connections with other people, that we're in the same situation as us. And that can be very helpful to have somebody go, okay, hey, look, this is what you need to do. You need to get away. You need to go to a retreat, you need to go to a conference. You need to go to a workshop. Do something that's going to fill you up. Make sure that you're getting enough time with God, that you're filled up and it's not just pouring out all the time. You want to minister out of that place of overflow, not from. I'm just barely getting enough to, you know, how to stay alive, basically.
• 6:32
  Speaker A: Yeah. Well, and I want to be really clear. We had a great staff that we worked with. Like, we had wonderful people that we got to not just minister to, but minister with. Like, we were in a great place and we were surrounded, like Josh said, by people who encouraged us and loved us, but we didn't know how to cultivate community with those people in. In a way that filled us up. And that really would say, like, here's where I'm feeling vulnerable. Here's where we need help. What do you have to say about this? We very isolating of ourselves. And I think that is something that a lot of people do because it feels like I think one of the lies of the enemy is that you're the only one. You're the only one that feels this way. You're the only one that's going through this. Nobody else will understand or they'll think that you're not a good Christian or you're, you know, whatever. They'll judge you. And it's Such a lie because we really were surrounded by really loving, godly, wonderful people. But we just didn't know how to be connected. And maybe you feel that way. You want to feel deeply connected to God again. You want clarity and freedom from inner battles. But you feel stuck, you feel exhausted, you feel isolated and you might be thinking, I know the truth. I, I'm a pastor, a teacher, a a leader in my church. But it's just not working. Listen, it doesn't have to be this way. Our coaching program is designed to reconnect you with God's truth and demolish those lies holding you back. As you work with us, you'll learn our simple, proven five step process for overcoming lies and limiting beliefs and recon to God's truth. We'll give you the tools you need to succeed, to move forward with confidence and stay plugged in to truth, which is so important. So book your clarity coaching session today so we can help you stop those negative thoughts and build confidence in your identity in Christ. Just go to joshandkarina.com coaching that's J-O-S-H-A-N-C-O-R-I-N-A.com coaching and book your first session.
• 8:32
  Speaker B: So what are some things that you can do to stay encouraged when ministry really feels hard? The number one thing that I found is realize that you're working with God instead of for God. That is huge. It comes from our identity that we are sons and daughters. We are not servants, we're not slaves. When Jesus came, he put us in right relationship with God. And John 15:15 is an amazing verse that says, I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead I have called you friends for everything that I learned from my father, I have made known to you. So we don't operate as servants where we're just God, give me the orders and I'm going to go do it. He actually calls us his friends. And these are the people Jesus talking to, his disciples, these are the guys that spent the most time with him. And he's like, you're my friends. We're in this together, we're ministering together. And that's how God wants us to see it. He doesn't want us to just I'm slaving away for the gospel. I mean, Paul says that, right? And we do work hard. We work hard for the gospel. It's our beliefs and the way that we view it in our minds. I am not God's slave. I'M not his servant. I'm his son. He cares deeply about me. It's the difference between I hire somebody to work in my backyard, or I go out there with my boys and we work in the backyard together. And it's totally different. It's like, well, the guy that I'm paying, he better do it right, and he better get it done on time. And I don't really. I don't care so much about spending time with him. I just want to get the job done. God doesn't see us like that. He goes out there with the shovel and starts digging with us, and he's like, let's spend time together as we minister. It's about relationship. It's about that time that we get to spend together just as a father and son. And that's totally different. And that changed my perspective completely once I realized that I get to work with him instead of for him. And actually the strength to do anything that I do, it all comes from him. And then it's joyful, right? Ministry is joyful instead of, oh, I have to do this again, because I'm trying to make God happy. You know, he's already pleased with you. He loves you so much, and he's so proud of you. And even if you didn't do anything, he still loves you so, so much. He's crazy about you. And so once you realize that, that changes everything.
• 11:01
  Speaker A: Yeah, And I love the idea, too, of, like, you going in the backyard to work with the boys, because then as you work with somebody who you're bringing up, you're actually able to help them, right? Like, if they get to a part that's too hard, you come over and help them. You're working together. And it's not just do it on your own, because you could hire them to go work in the backyard, and you would expect much of the same thing. Like, you're gonna do it right? You're gonna do it well, you're gonna do a good, you know, all the things. But if you're out there with them, then you're the one you helping and. And encouraging. And it's a different dynamic when you're working together. Romans 8:15 says, the Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again. Rather, the spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship or daughtership. And by him we cry, abba, father. And so you hear, there's this idea of not just a slave or a servant, but a friend. And God takes it one step further, and he says, you are my children. And I think this is so beautiful because we have that direct line to him. He's not. I don't necessarily go to my boss at work and tell him all my problems and cry in his lap, you know, or curl up in his lap and, like, cry on his shoulder.
• 12:15
  Speaker B: Right?
• 12:15
  Speaker A: That would be weird. But with my dad, I might do that.
• 12:19
  Speaker B: Right.
• 12:19
  Speaker A: With somebody who I'm close to, that's somebody that I'm gonna be like, I don't know what to do. Everything is going wrong. Help me, you know, cry my eyes out. And then I know my dad's gonna come and take care of it. Like, I know he's gonna fix it. And maybe I do wa say, maybe you don't have. You haven't had that kind of relationship with an earthly father. That's okay. God still wants to be that for you. He wants to be the one whose lap you climb up into. He's a safe place. And his fatherhood, his. His desire to be your father, it's not toxic and it's not caustic and it's not here to demand and to hurt you. But it's really like he's. He wants to be your friend, he wants to be your father. He wants to be the one that you run to, that takes care of you. And all of you know best earthly fathers, the things that you've heard about that you could only imagine, that's who God is, and that's who he wants to be for you. He wants you to come to work with him. He wants to take his daughter or his son to work day every single day and just hang out with you so that you can learn to do things the way he does.
• 13:24
  Speaker B: The other thing that is so important is to rely on the Holy Spirit instead of yourself.
• 13:29
  Speaker A: So important?
• 13:30
  Speaker B: Yes. We have to make sure that we're getting filled up, not just pouring out. You can't pour water out of an empty jar. It's gotta be filled up. And God actually wants us to be filled up all the way to the top so that we're overflowing and we don't even have to pour. And so that's prioritizing our time with him, prioritizing worship, making sure that we are getting everything that we need from Him. We're listening to encouraging music, teaching, we're reading the books that are going to fill us up with hope and joy and peace and operating out of that overflow. That's what we need to do. And ministry is totally different when you do it. I know I've been there. I did it out of that dry place where it was my strength and it was exhausting. But then once I got to the point where it's like I realized, oh, I can do this. Out of my friendship, my relationship with God and rely on his strength, I went on this ministry trip. I remember the first time that I really got to try that. It was so exciting and I was so filled up afterwards because I was working with God and I would call Karina at 9 or 10 o' clock at night each night after we were done, I was like, it was amazing. God showed up so powerfully and he has that for you. You don't have to do ministry out of your own strength. Once we rely on him, then it totally changes. It changes the dynamic completely. And he has that for you. He has his best for you.
• 15:02
  Speaker A: Absolutely. And then you want to be looking to God's opinions instead of others. And I think this is really important. When we minister, it's really vital that we know whose approval we are seeking. Are you thinking about it as a performance? Are you thinking about it as, you know, pouring your heart out to Jesus? Or when you're worshiping, when you're teaching, when you're loving on others, is it a chore or is it a joy? And when you're doing it for God, when you're looking to God, Because I know that there are times where I have messed up real bad, where I've been on stage and I've hit the wrong notes or I've. My voice is cracked or whatever it might be. And I feel his approval even in those moments. But if I'm doing it for the approval of others, then the comments of like, oh, I heard your voice crack there. That was special. You know, those hurt and they make, they like go deep. And then you're, I mean, like, should I ever actually do that again? Right? Or you misquoted scripture. Did you, you know, did you know this actually means blah, blah, blah. Ugh, that cuts so deep. But when you're doing it for Jesus and with Jesus, it is so different. And I actually had this experience not that long ago. We were pre, in pre service prayer and one of the guys was praying, asking Jesus to go through the aisles and touch the seats and, you know, just that whoever sits down would feel his presence. And I had this picture of Jesus walking through the sanctuary and then he was at the back of the sanctuary while we were worshiping and he was just smiling at us, but we weren't, we hadn't like, started yet. Like, we were like, you know, sound check or whatever. And he was just smiling. He was, like, so proud of us. And it was so sweet because we hadn't done anything yet. We weren't, you know, we hadn't performed. We hadn't done this amazing thing. And then during worship, you know, the enemy comes along, trying to lie and whisper, you know, mean things in my ear. And I heard him say. I heard a voice say, you're just doing it for applause. And I almost laughed out loud. Which I think this is one of those beautiful things that we talk about where it's like, you know, your beliefs have changed. Because it didn't even occur to me that that was true. I was just like, oh, you lying devil. Jesus already told me that he was proud of me. And so when I can minister from that place of. I know that he's proud of me, it changes everything. I don't have to perform anymore. It doesn't matter if I feel like people are engaged or listening, paying attention, receiving anything. It doesn't matter. I'm doing it for Jesus. And so when we look to his approval, you can know that you've always got it. That's the thing. It's not going to change. He always loves you. He always thinks you're doing a great job. You're amazing, and that's not going to change.
• 17:46
  Speaker B: Whenever we're done ministering, I like to just ask God, what did you think about that? Because his opinion is really the only one that matters. And so whether we've led worship or. Or speaking somewhere, or maybe you're leading a Bible study or serving food to the homeless or doing evangelism, whatever it is. However, just taking care of your kids, that's your ministry. Just ask God, what did you think about that? And I have found that God always says, that was amazing. I'm so proud of you. You did so good. And even if it was, you know, you messed up, you played all the wrong notes, you said the wrong words, and it felt awful or whatever, you're starting to judge yourself. God doesn't care about that. He cares about you as a person, and he loves you because he created you and you're his kid. And so we really don't. We can't mess it up. And even if we don't do our best. I had an off day. He still loves us.
• 18:47
  Speaker A: You showed up. You did what he asked you to do.
• 18:49
  Speaker B: Yeah, and that changes it completely, because then you can get rid of all those opinions and negative comments or whatever it is you can just wipe that stuff away and go. None of that matters. Or even that voice of self doubt that comes in. Or the enemy accusing us of. Wow, you really messed that up. You don't have to listen to any of that garbage because we know what our Heavenly Father thinks about us.
• 19:14
  Speaker A: Yeah. First Thessalonians 2. 4 says, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the Gospel, so we speak not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. We have already been approved. You have already been approved to do the work of the Gospel. Whatever that looks like in your life. Whether that's being a good co worker or being a kind and loving parent or whatever it is that you're doing. You have been approved by God to do the work that he has made you to do. And so we don't do it for anybody else's approval, we just do it for Him.
• 19:48
  Speaker B: Yeah. It's so good. Colossians 3, 2324 says, Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men. Knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. We don't do it for men. We're not serving them. We are serving God. And we're actually working with him, alongside of him at the same time. Because this is his ministry. Yeah. And he is guiding us and directing us. And it's just so much better when we get to do it with our Father instead of for him trying to earn his favor. We already have it. You already have it.
• 20:30
  Speaker A: You've been approved.
• 20:32
  Speaker B: So let's give you a few action steps to stay encouraged as you minister. So the first one is to work on our identity in Christ. We need to have our beliefs about ourself and God and other people. Right. That's got to be the first thing that we work on. Everything that we do comes out of our beliefs. And so if our beliefs are wrong, our actions are going to be weird or messed up. Yeah.
• 21:00
  Speaker A: So self lie. A self lie could look like my worth comes from what I do. Therefore I must perform well. Right. I am performing for God's love. I am performing to be approved. What I am doing is, is who I am. Basically God lies might sound like I have to earn God's love by what I do because God is angry at me or God doesn't like I'm not good enough for God and God doesn't think I'm good enough. Right. So we have this misperception of who God is or God is Like my earthly father, who didn't really like me very much. And so we have this misperception of who God really is. Lies about other people, just kind of like what we talked about at the beginning. They just don't get it. Nobody understands me. Nobody knows what I'm going through. People don't even care. The people that I'm serving, they're the worst. They, you know, I just have to put up with them. And so we. It's really easy to get kind of stuck in these lies that feel like the truth. Obviously, they feel like the truth. But then we operate out of that, that place of wrong beliefs. And we actually have a process that we go through to really get dig into those beliefs. We go through with each of our coaching clients where we dig into these beliefs and we say, okay, Lord, show us the lies. Because when we recognize that we have a belief that's not right, it's usually rooted in a lie. And so we can identify those lies and replace them with the truth. And so as you work on your identity in Christ, you want to dig up those lies and plant the truth. What is the truth of. What does God say? Well, God says that I'm already. I've already been approved, that he likes me, he loves me, and he likes me.
• 22:37
  Speaker B: Right.
• 22:37
  Speaker A: And so. So the truth is that God approves of me. And the truth is that God's a good father. And the truth is that other people are worth loving and serving because they're going through stuff too. And so, you know, we can just begin to replace those bad beliefs with good beliefs.
• 22:54
  Speaker B: So good. So we're working on our identity in Christ. The next thing we do is develop a personal growth plan. If you don't have a vision for yourself and your ministry, you're gonna feel lost, you're gonna feel stuck, and it's easy to be discouraged. But if you know where you're going and you develop that with God, you have purpose for what's going on in your life right now. It's like it might be a struggle, it might be a challenge, but you know where you're going. You know where God's taking you. That's so important. And so know what your personal growth plan is. What are the things that you're doing every day, those important things that maybe don't feel urgent? It's not a crisis right now, but I know I need to work on this and for my own personal growth so that I'm healthy. So that can be as simple as getting exercise, making sure you have Consistent connection time with God. It can be accountability, having a coach or mentor that can help you take those steps to grow and to get better and to deepen your relationship with the Lord. We love working with our clients and helping them develop these personal growth plans. What are the little steps that I'm going to do every single day? Am I doing my declarations? Am I memorizing scripture? Am I meditating on the Word every single day? Those kinds of things, though small, make a huge difference in the way that we feel about ourselves and the way that we believe about ourselves, what we believe about God and other people. And the other thing for a personal growth plan is to make sure that you're getting filled up. Are you doing good Bible studies? Are you going to retreats or workshops or conferences where you're going to receive good teaching that's going to fill you with hope. Are you listening to the right podcast? Hopefully this one. Are you reading the right books? Are you listening to the right pastors? All those things are so important and so small. Even on your commute, as you're driving in, you can throw on a podcast, you can throw on a sermon of the week and be listening to that. And that is going to make a huge difference. Because especially when we're ministering at church specifically, sometimes it's hard to get filled up when you're pouring out at the same time. And so you have to actually be intentional to spend that time outside of church to make sure that your spirit and your soul are getting fed with things that are going to build you up.
• 25:14
  Speaker A: Yeah. And that was huge for us. When we started going to conferences, we started anytime we were on a drive that was a little bit longer and we didn't have kids in the car. We were listening to sermons. We started watching pastors on YouTube that when we started being really intentional about filling ourselves up and listening and putting in the good stuff. And it, it made such a difference. It made a difference in the way we ministered. We were able to minister from overflow, but it also made a difference in, like, our daily lives of how much energy we had, of what we were, what we had to give at the end of the day to our kids. And so it's really important that you get filled up. That should be the first thing on your personal growth plan is how do I get filled up? Because I'm tired of pouring out out of an empty bucket. And so, yeah, that was really big for us.
• 26:07
  Speaker B: Yeah. So our action steps work on identity in Christ, develop your personal growth plan, and the third step that we're going to give you is to surround yourself with encouraging people who support you and will speak truth to you. Yeah, you cannot do ministry alone. No matter if you're a staff pastor, a volunteer, whatever you're doing, trying to do it on your own, it's a recipe for getting burned out. Yeah, we've been there, and we don't want that for you. God has better things for you is a better way to do it. You need to have people that are encouraging you. They're speaking truth into your life. We all need that encouragement and accountability. They're the ones that know you well enough to say, ooh, maybe don't do that. That might be a bad direction to go. Instead, try this. Or they can. At least they're praying for you. They can suggest resources. Sometimes just having somebody to listen in to you and go, okay, how's it going? Okay, these are the things I'm struggling with. Okay, let's pray about that. And whether or not they even have good advice for you, you don't always even need that. Sometimes just saying the things out loud and you're like, well, I was believing this. Well, that's a lie. If you have somebody that can be that person for you to say, let's identify those lies and let's laugh at them. And what's the real truth? What does God really say? Because the enemy's always trying to whisper to us little things to make us feel insecure or we messed up or it's not going to work out. Any of those are all just lies from the enemy. But if we have somebody that can come alongside us and say, okay, don't listen to those lies sometimes, especially when we're believing them, it's hard to know that you're believing a lie when you're in the middle of it. But somebody on the outside can say, that's clearly a lie. That's not true about you. This is the truth. Or, let's go to God. What's the truth that he is speaking? And that's what we love to do with our coaching clients, is help them get out of that cycle of I'm believing lies. I'm stuck in it, and sometimes I. I don't even realize I'm believing these lies. And then let the Holy Spirit come in and speak his glorious, beautiful truth through his word, through his voice that he's speaking to us right now. He always shows up with his glorious truth that sets us free.
• 28:21
  Speaker A: Yeah. Amen. Well, thank you so much for spending time with us today. We hope that you've been encouraged to work on your identity in Christ, develop a personal growth plan, and really find those people around you that are going to encourage you and build you up. We know that God has good things for you. He has already approved you to do the work of the gospel. So go out there and do what he's made you to do. Because you're awesome and you're changing the world.
• 28:46
  Speaker B: World.
• 28:53
  Speaker A: Hey friend. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. If so, would you take 30 seconds to share this podcast with someone who may need encouragement or practical tools for fighting their battle?
• 29:03
  Speaker B: Then rate and review this podcast. Help us Spread the message of transformation far and wide.
• 29:08
  Speaker A: All right, time to walk back into the noise with peace, purpose, and maybe a tiny bit of caffeine.
• 29:14
  Speaker B: We'll meet you back next Thursday for another episode. Bye.