Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / Ten Ways to Fall in Love With Your Life Again
Transcript
- 0:12Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast episode of Today.
- 0:17Speaker 1: So this is the podcast where I'm helping you change
- 0:21Speaker 1: your relationship with yourself and your brain. And in this episode,
- 0:25Speaker 1: we're talking about ten ways to fall in love with
- 0:28Speaker 1: your life again. You can use all ten ideally, or
- 0:31Speaker 1: you can use just one, whichever resonates with you. I've
- 0:34Speaker 1: got things that I would say for ninety nine percent
- 0:37Speaker 1: of the population, this is stuff that you can do
- 0:39Speaker 1: pretty much with the resources that you already have. I
- 0:42Speaker 1: would say for most people. Okay, I'm not trying to
- 0:45Speaker 1: make it something. Now, keep in mind there's going to
- 0:47Speaker 1: be people that have very different lifestyle situations. But what
- 0:50Speaker 1: I mean by the resources you already have is I'm
- 0:52Speaker 1: trying not to make it things that you have to
- 0:54Speaker 1: spend money on and things like that. But keep in
- 0:56Speaker 1: mind that there's going to be certain things that some
- 0:59Speaker 1: of you won't be able to do if you don't
- 1:00Speaker 1: live near your friends or if you don't you know,
- 1:02Speaker 1: there's certain things here that won't be applicable to absolutely everyone.
- 1:06Speaker 1: I'm sure that goes without saying cool. And for those
- 1:09Speaker 1: of you that haven't already, definitely go check out my
- 1:12Speaker 1: substack notes on theMIND dot substack dot com. I'm loving it,
- 1:17Speaker 1: so go and subscribe. There's free and paid options available,
- 1:22Speaker 1: and yeah, it's just a good time. Little life updates.
- 1:26Speaker 1: My cousin just had a baby. I literally was at
- 1:28Speaker 1: the hospital this morning before recording this, visiting my cousin's baby,
- 1:32Speaker 1: and I walked in and I just like immediately burst
- 1:36Speaker 1: into tears. I actually saw the photo of him on
- 1:40Speaker 1: the family group chat this morning, so I wake up
- 1:43Speaker 1: and I knew that she was already at the hospital yesterday,
- 1:46Speaker 1: so I wake up straight away. I'm jumping on the
- 1:48Speaker 1: family chat at like five point thirty this morning, and
- 1:50Speaker 1: then straight away I see the photo of him, and
- 1:53Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I'm sobbing in bed.
- 1:55Speaker 1: And then I get to the hospital and I'm sobbing,
- 1:57Speaker 1: and then I'm seeing my cousin and I'm sobbing again.
- 2:00Speaker 1: So I'm just a ball of happy emotions. I'm feeling
- 2:03Speaker 1: very happy, grateful, blessed to blessed, to be stressed, just
- 2:08Speaker 1: all the love. So it's a great day. It's a
- 2:11Speaker 1: fucking great day. Anyway, let's get into the ten ways
- 2:15Speaker 1: to fall in love with your life again. And I
- 2:18Speaker 1: say again, but some of you may have never loved
- 2:21Speaker 1: your life, and if that's the case, Ten ways to
- 2:23Speaker 1: fall in your love in love, oh, ten ways to
- 2:26Speaker 1: fall in love with your life full stop.
- 2:28Speaker 2: Okay, Number one, we're going to rethink the first three
- 2:36Speaker 2: minutes of the day. I don't care who you are,
- 2:39Speaker 2: I don't care what time you wake up, I don't
- 2:41Speaker 2: care where it is that you're waking up, where you're
- 2:43Speaker 2: waking up.
- 2:44Speaker 1: But the first three minutes of the day is something
- 2:46Speaker 1: that any of us and all of us can really
- 2:49Speaker 1: take control over. And I'm a huge believer that the
- 2:52Speaker 1: way you start your day has a massive impact psychologically
- 2:56Speaker 1: on how you will steer your day, not just with me,
- 2:59Speaker 1: but so many of you guys who have written in saying,
- 3:02Speaker 1: oh my god, the moment I changed how I start
- 3:04Speaker 1: my day or my morning, or if I had a
- 3:06Speaker 1: morning routine, or the moment I started doing this in
- 3:07Speaker 1: the morning instead of the evening, everything changed for me personally.
- 3:11Speaker 1: If I get straight out of bed, wash my face,
- 3:14Speaker 1: and get dressed out of my pajamas, my whole morning
- 3:17Speaker 1: is very different. So if I kind of stumble out
- 3:20Speaker 1: of bed, don't even splash water on my face, still
- 3:22Speaker 1: in my pajamas and I'm like creeping along to make
- 3:24Speaker 1: myself a coffee. Very different energy, very different vibes. So
- 3:28Speaker 1: let's rethink the first three minutes of the day, and
- 3:32Speaker 1: I'm going to make it a little bit more exciting
- 3:33Speaker 1: because what I want you to do is I want
- 3:35Speaker 1: you to create a mantra for yourself, a statement, a catchphrase,
- 3:39Speaker 1: a mantra. It could be something that's just you for
- 3:42Speaker 1: the rest of your life. It could be something you
- 3:44Speaker 1: change every week or every month. It could be dependent
- 3:46Speaker 1: on what you have going on in your life. So,
- 3:49Speaker 1: say you're someone that's going through a breakup, your mantra
- 3:51Speaker 1: might be something that feels empowering while you're going through
- 3:54Speaker 1: a breakup. Maybe you're It doesn't matter what it is.
- 3:56Speaker 1: But Live and I have this mantra thing that we
- 4:01Speaker 1: say to each other and it's half joking, half serious,
- 4:03Speaker 1: but we repeated it again and again. We're like, today
- 4:05Speaker 1: is a great day. Today's going to be a great day.
- 4:07Speaker 1: Today is going to be an amazing day. It's a
- 4:08Speaker 1: great day. And we say it half jokingly, but just
- 4:11Speaker 1: gee each other up. So Lives my best friend. For
- 4:13Speaker 1: those of you that don't know, we start just geeing
- 4:16Speaker 1: each other up, and then it ends up being a
- 4:17Speaker 1: fucking great day because we're just you know, bouncing off
- 4:20Speaker 1: each other saying that. We'll even text it to each
- 4:22Speaker 1: other out of the blue every couple of weeks. So
- 4:26Speaker 1: have a sentence, a statement, something, something that gets you
- 4:30Speaker 1: in that headspace of like, oh no, no, no, I'm
- 4:33Speaker 1: not gonna scroll in bed. I'm not going to be
- 4:36Speaker 1: you know, already brain rotting first thing in the morning.
- 4:39Speaker 1: At the very least, I'm going to maximize the first
- 4:41Speaker 1: three minutes of the day. Notice how I'm not saying
- 4:43Speaker 1: you got to get up at five am. I'm saying
- 4:45Speaker 1: the first three minutes of your waking day. I want
- 4:48Speaker 1: you to have a mantra that you say the first
- 4:51Speaker 1: the moment you get up and you're getting out of bed,
- 4:54Speaker 1: I want you out of bed before you look at
- 4:58Speaker 1: any device, anything, your what, your phone, anything. I want
- 5:01Speaker 1: you physically out of the bed so that way you're
- 5:04Speaker 1: more you've got something to actually get up and out
- 5:08Speaker 1: of bed fall right, So you remove your body out
- 5:11Speaker 1: of the bed, you stretch your arms up, you say
- 5:14Speaker 1: this man minimum once, ideally a couple of times as
- 5:17Speaker 1: you make your way to the bathroom and you splash
- 5:18Speaker 1: water on your face, and then I want you to
- 5:20Speaker 1: have a big glass of water. This is all done
- 5:21Speaker 1: within the first three minutes, if not less, and if
- 5:24Speaker 1: you can, let's have some electrolytes in that water. If not,
- 5:27Speaker 1: a glass of water is fine. We want to hydrate
- 5:29Speaker 1: the brain that already is going to set the tone
- 5:32Speaker 1: for your morning. So before we get into the other nine,
- 5:34Speaker 1: I really need you to do this. Whether you do
- 5:37Speaker 1: one of the ten or not, this is the one. Okay,
- 5:40Speaker 1: the first three minutes of the day, we're having a mantrap.
- 5:42Speaker 1: We're getting out of bed. We're not looking at anything
- 5:44Speaker 1: until we're physically out of the bed. I don't want
- 5:46Speaker 1: you being on social media at all for the first
- 5:48Speaker 1: hour of the day. But that's not one of these
- 5:50Speaker 1: ten points. And we are looking like feeling fresh with
- 5:54Speaker 1: that water and a fast and a hydrated brain. Number one,
- 5:56Speaker 1: that is going to change your morning's permanently for the
- 5:59Speaker 1: rest of your life. Number two, I want you to
- 6:03Speaker 1: imagine that you are in a rom com or a sitcom,
- 6:07Speaker 1: and I want you to think what these characters do
- 6:11Speaker 1: in these shows that really enrich who they are as
- 6:16Speaker 1: a character on the show what's something that these people do. So,
- 6:20Speaker 1: for example, think of your favorite sitcom or rom com.
- 6:24Speaker 1: There's habits that these people do, There's routines that they
- 6:28Speaker 1: get into that makes the show comfortable for the audience
- 6:33Speaker 1: to watch. It makes us feel cozy and comfortable because
- 6:36Speaker 1: there's a there's a layer of kind of we predictability,
- 6:41Speaker 1: and then the comedy comes from like on top of
- 6:43Speaker 1: that predictability, like friends always meeting up at central perk
- 6:47Speaker 1: or things like that. So maybe the characters always meet
- 6:50Speaker 1: their best friend for a coffee on their way to work. Okay.
- 6:54Speaker 1: Maybe you know, you decide to do your walk in
- 6:58Speaker 1: the morning with a particular friend or a neighbor, or
- 7:01Speaker 1: your sister or your partner. Okay. Maybe every commute on
- 7:06Speaker 1: the way to work or on the way back, you
- 7:09Speaker 1: are on the phone to your cousin talking about certain things.
- 7:12Speaker 1: Maybe you debrief on a particular thing. Okay. Maybe every
- 7:15Speaker 1: single lunch break you meet your girlfriends in the city
- 7:18Speaker 1: and you do an inner city yoga class maybe or
- 7:23Speaker 1: have a wine at l who knows what it is.
- 7:24Speaker 1: You know, what I Am going to say is, notice
- 7:28Speaker 1: that every single thing I've mentioned is social. So I
- 7:31Speaker 1: want this to be a social thing for you, And
- 7:34Speaker 1: I did give you an opportunity to do one where
- 7:37Speaker 1: it's not physically you know, where you can actually call
- 7:40Speaker 1: someone on a commute. You just obviously need someone that
- 7:42Speaker 1: wants to do the same thing and agrees with you.
- 7:44Speaker 1: But what is a habitual thing that a character in
- 7:48Speaker 1: a rom com does? So here's another example. So when
- 7:51Speaker 1: I used to teach pilates, I used to do there
- 7:54Speaker 1: was two mornings a week where I have a super
- 7:56Speaker 1: early class and then after that I would be back
- 7:58Speaker 1: in time to have a coffee with live and then
- 8:01Speaker 1: like as if I was her mother, I would walk
- 8:02Speaker 1: her into the city and like quote unquote drop her
- 8:04Speaker 1: off at work. So we would do the city walk
- 8:07Speaker 1: together from we both lived in Surrey Hills, and we
- 8:10Speaker 1: walked into the city and I would walk her right
- 8:11Speaker 1: to the door. We'd get a coffee on the way,
- 8:14Speaker 1: walk her right to the door, and then I'd have
- 8:16Speaker 1: my walk back. And we did that twice a week,
- 8:18Speaker 1: every single week. Sometimes it was more than twice a week,
- 8:20Speaker 1: depending on when I was teaching them when I wasn't,
- 8:22Speaker 1: And that was such, and we would always do stories.
- 8:24Speaker 1: I'd record stories doing this and I would have listeners.
- 8:28Speaker 1: Wasn't even doing the podcast then, but it was people
- 8:31Speaker 1: on my Instagram that were like, oh my god, I
- 8:32Speaker 1: love these walks. I love the band that you get into,
- 8:34Speaker 1: I love the random questions that you asked me. Were
- 8:36Speaker 1: saying what would you do with this? And live just
- 8:38Speaker 1: and we were kind of just documenting our life as
- 8:40Speaker 1: we would do these walks, and it was awesome. So
- 8:42Speaker 1: I want you to think, what is something that if
- 8:44Speaker 1: my life was a rom com, what would be the staple, trademark,
- 8:48Speaker 1: random thing that I would do every single day or
- 8:50Speaker 1: at least a couple of times a week that would
- 8:54Speaker 1: flesh out my character in a rom com or a sitcom. Okay,
- 8:58Speaker 1: make it social, Make it some that you really look
- 9:01Speaker 1: forward to that really enriches your day. It's this tiny
- 9:04Speaker 1: little piece of the puzzle that makes your day so
- 9:07Speaker 1: much better. Okay, So that is number two. Keep it
- 9:10Speaker 1: social and you know, work with what you've got. If
- 9:14Speaker 1: you are living that inner city life and your friends
- 9:17Speaker 1: live nearby, then obviously your options are relatively endless. If
- 9:20Speaker 1: you don't live close to anyone that's your friend, then
- 9:22Speaker 1: you can do more sort of like a phone call
- 9:24Speaker 1: debrief at the end of the day, or maybe when
- 9:26Speaker 1: you're making your breakfast. It's like a ten minute call
- 9:28Speaker 1: that you schedule with your best friend when you're both
- 9:30Speaker 1: making breakfast at the same time, talking about like a
- 9:32Speaker 1: rundown of whatever. It doesn't matter what it is, okay,
- 9:34Speaker 1: but something that makes your life a bit more sitcom wrongcom.
- 9:39Speaker 1: In main character vibes number three, I want you to
- 9:42Speaker 1: do something sweet for someone, something kind and sweet for someone,
- 9:45Speaker 1: every single day. It's something that I want you to
- 9:49Speaker 1: tick off on your to do list every day. So
- 9:52Speaker 1: this could be sending someone a nice memory. You message
- 9:54Speaker 1: your friend being like, babe, babe, remember that time that
- 9:58Speaker 1: you know, Like, I could message Lucy right now and say,
- 10:00Speaker 1: remember that time that we got so ripped off by
- 10:02Speaker 1: that taxi driver because we missed the bus when we
- 10:04Speaker 1: were in Panama. But if we didn't make this blah
- 10:05Speaker 1: blah blah, and then we were arguing and I was
- 10:07Speaker 1: trying to argue in Spanish, but you were yelling over
- 10:09Speaker 1: me in English and he didn't understand anyway. Hilarious. I
- 10:12Speaker 1: could just do that and then me read telling the
- 10:15Speaker 1: story would make my day because I'd be laughing about
- 10:17Speaker 1: that memory. And then I know for a fact that
- 10:19Speaker 1: she'd be remembering that memory and she'd laugh ahead off
- 10:21Speaker 1: as well. So that's something you could do. Send someone
- 10:24Speaker 1: a memory. You could send someone a really good recommendation.
- 10:29Speaker 1: So message your auntie and say I thought of you
- 10:31Speaker 1: because I was watching the show and I know you
- 10:33Speaker 1: love this actor and if you haven't seen this you
- 10:35Speaker 1: should check. You should watch. It's really really good. So
- 10:37Speaker 1: it could be a recommendation. It could be giving someone
- 10:40Speaker 1: a small gift. Maybe you buy your partner a flower,
- 10:43Speaker 1: or maybe you buy them a chocolate or their favorite lolly,
- 10:46Speaker 1: or maybe you think I'm walking into the office and
- 10:48Speaker 1: there's the receptionist is always such a legend. I'm just
- 10:50Speaker 1: gonna buy her a coffee without even asking, And I
- 10:52Speaker 1: just give her a coffee when I'm walking do something sweet.
- 10:55Speaker 1: It could be something that's for free, like I said,
- 10:57Speaker 1: a text message, or a recommendation, or just a message
- 11:00Speaker 1: saying thinking if you love you so much, whatever, or
- 11:02Speaker 1: it could be an actual little gift. You can change
- 11:04Speaker 1: it up day by day. But it's this little aspect
- 11:07Speaker 1: of you being a sweet, kind, lovely person, just doing
- 11:09Speaker 1: a nice gesture for someone in your life, someone's super close,
- 11:12Speaker 1: or maybe even an acquaintance. Okay, number four, do something
- 11:17Speaker 1: with your appearance that really speaks to your personality. You
- 11:22Speaker 1: want to imagine it as you wearing your personality on
- 11:26Speaker 1: the outside. So if you haven't already, go listen to
- 11:29Speaker 1: my episode on enclothed Cognition, which came out one or
- 11:32Speaker 1: two weeks ago, for more insight into the importance that
- 11:36Speaker 1: clothing can have on us. But this is a little
- 11:39Speaker 1: bit different to that. It's kind of aligned to it,
- 11:41Speaker 1: not as deep as this enclothed cognition one. But for example,
- 11:45Speaker 1: if I was walking down the street and I saw
- 11:48Speaker 1: an older lady wearing purple glasses and a rainbow scarf
- 11:52Speaker 1: and you know, like some flower earrings, I instantly would
- 11:57Speaker 1: imagine that this person is bubbly, probably very fun, loves
- 12:03Speaker 1: to have a laugh, and probably artistic. I would just
- 12:05Speaker 1: imagine that that might not be the case, but I
- 12:07Speaker 1: would imagine based on her outlook and this colorful, bubbly outfit.
- 12:12Speaker 1: I'm putting two and two together. I'm thinking, Yeah, this
- 12:14Speaker 1: person's obviously like a really fun, loving, happy person, right,
- 12:18Speaker 1: They're probably not going to be grumpy, miserable, hating the world.
- 12:20Speaker 1: If you've listened to my episode of Miserable People. She's
- 12:23Speaker 1: probably not one of those, okay, But that's just like
- 12:28Speaker 1: an example of what could I do that where I
- 12:31Speaker 1: can wear my personality on the outside and it doesn't
- 12:34Speaker 1: have to be this bubbly fun thing. What's something that
- 12:36Speaker 1: someone looks and says, Wow, that person's bold, or that
- 12:39Speaker 1: person's outgoing, or that person maybe it's it could be
- 12:43Speaker 1: just a little detail. There could be something in your hair,
- 12:45Speaker 1: it could be whatever, but it's something that makes you
- 12:48Speaker 1: think a little bit extra about when you put your
- 12:50Speaker 1: outfit together for the day, that you think, what really
- 12:54Speaker 1: is me? What really screams alexis you know when I
- 12:57Speaker 1: go out, what's something that I could do? For example,
- 13:01Speaker 1: I might go out and just decide I'm gonna wear
- 13:05Speaker 1: something that screams I love Formula one. So I wear
- 13:08Speaker 1: like my Red Bull Formula one hat and my Red
- 13:09Speaker 1: Bull Formula one jacket, and then I'm fucking vibing when
- 13:12Speaker 1: I go out. I'm gonna do a little side note
- 13:14Speaker 1: to this, I've realized that when I do wear Red
- 13:17Speaker 1: Bull or any Formula one kind of merch, it's always
- 13:21Speaker 1: men that approached me and kind of grill me on
- 13:24Speaker 1: questions to see if I'm just wearing F one like
- 13:28Speaker 1: Red Bull team Formula one merch or if I actually
- 13:32Speaker 1: am a Formula one fan. No females ever do this,
- 13:35Speaker 1: And I beat you that these men don't look at
- 13:38Speaker 1: another man who's wearing Formula one merchandise and grilling them,
- 13:41Speaker 1: being like, oh so, like I was wearing a Cadillac
- 13:45Speaker 1: hat and someone's like, so Cadillac, and I'm like, yeah, Cadillac,
- 13:48Speaker 1: and that's not even my team. I just had a
- 13:50Speaker 1: Cadillac hat and it was really cool and they were like, yeah,
- 13:53Speaker 1: so is that your team? And I'm like, well, I
- 13:56Speaker 1: love and I was speaking. I'm like, I love Choco
- 13:58Speaker 1: and I love Valtrui, but that it's not my TA,
- 14:00Speaker 1: my TAM's Red Bull, I love the Start. And they're like, oh,
- 14:02Speaker 1: so you know Formula one, And I'm like, cunt. Even
- 14:04Speaker 1: if I didn't fuck off this flexing of trying to
- 14:07Speaker 1: it's always the men. Sorry, but it's always the fucking again,
- 14:12Speaker 1: miserable men. Anyway, Just sad to say that, and I
- 14:16Speaker 1: will I will always I fucking love Formula one, So
- 14:19Speaker 1: eat your worth count anyway. Number five sense, grab a notebook,
- 14:30Speaker 1: start a brand new notebook. I want a fresh notebook
- 14:33Speaker 1: and it has to be physical. I don't want you
- 14:35Speaker 1: typing this out. I don't want this in your notes.
- 14:37Speaker 1: I want a fresh, physical notebook and a pen that
- 14:40Speaker 1: you like. And I want you to write one sentence
- 14:43Speaker 1: a day in this book, one sentence a day, and
- 14:46Speaker 1: it has to be on the most the most, like
- 14:51Speaker 1: the biggest mark on the day that happened. Whether it
- 14:54Speaker 1: be something beautiful, something super embarrassing that you're so mortified
- 14:58Speaker 1: that you've kept revisiting it so many times throughout the day.
- 15:01Speaker 1: It could be something sad that happened. It could be
- 15:03Speaker 1: something that you overcame. It could be a crazy frustration
- 15:06Speaker 1: that you absolutely cannot get over. It could be an
- 15:09Speaker 1: insane thing that you learned. It doesn't matter, but something
- 15:12Speaker 1: that's like, if I was to summarize, if I was
- 15:14Speaker 1: to look at the day, what's the thing that was like, WHOA,
- 15:16Speaker 1: that was probably the biggest part good, bad, confusing. It
- 15:20Speaker 1: doesn't matter what, but one sentence about it. So obviously
- 15:23Speaker 1: my sentence today would definitely be about meeting my cousin's baby.
- 15:26Speaker 1: Oh my god, no no, no, make it semi descriptive, but
- 15:29Speaker 1: one sentence doesn't have to be longer than a sentence, okay,
- 15:32Speaker 1: and that's what it makes you more and more creative.
- 15:34Speaker 1: But imagine if something mortifying happened. Like imagine if you
- 15:36Speaker 1: were like stalking your ex on Instagram and you accidentally
- 15:42Speaker 1: reshared one of their photos. You know how there's that
- 15:45Speaker 1: reshare button, which is diabolical. Can I just say, because
- 15:48Speaker 1: it's so easy, press that your reshare button. I've looked
- 15:50Speaker 1: on my page and I've read shared stuff that's so
- 15:52Speaker 1: beyond irrelevant on people that I don't even follow. Don't
- 15:54Speaker 1: know how that's happened, So please don't even look at
- 15:57Speaker 1: my reshare. I'm like prompting people to go and look
- 15:59Speaker 1: at my ratiary thing, but please don't because I don't
- 16:00Speaker 1: know what I'm resharing. But imagine if you did that
- 16:03Speaker 1: with one of your exes and your friend told you, like,
- 16:06Speaker 1: can't you've just reshared your exes like engagement announcement or
- 16:10Speaker 1: some shit. You'd be mortified, and then you would write
- 16:13Speaker 1: that down at the end of the year, You've just
- 16:16Speaker 1: written a very entertaining book for you to read back.
- 16:20Speaker 1: And imagine if you had that for a decade. Imagine
- 16:23Speaker 1: giving that to your kids, or imagine just one day
- 16:26Speaker 1: being like I'm going to grab that one from a
- 16:28Speaker 1: year ago and flick through it. Bang, and you read
- 16:30Speaker 1: that sentence and you're like, oh my god, I remember
- 16:33Speaker 1: that time. It is so entertaining. It makes you even
- 16:37Speaker 1: as you go through your day, you're thinking what's going
- 16:39Speaker 1: to be my sentence of the day as you're living
- 16:42Speaker 1: the day, and then it almost gives you opportunities. If
- 16:44Speaker 1: there's an opportunity for you to be a bit bolder,
- 16:47Speaker 1: or a bit more spontaneous, or a bit more daring,
- 16:49Speaker 1: you think that could be my sentence of the day.
- 16:50Speaker 1: If I just put myself out there and do this
- 16:52Speaker 1: little daring thing, I can write that as my sentence
- 16:54Speaker 1: of the day. So it can actually go both ways.
- 16:56Speaker 1: It's nice to reflect back on, but then you predict
- 16:59Speaker 1: what will all these sentences of my day look like
- 17:02Speaker 1: in the future. I want to fill this book up
- 17:04Speaker 1: with things that where I can look at my life
- 17:07Speaker 1: day by day, just in a sentence and really feel like, Wow,
- 17:10Speaker 1: I lived. I lived this year, the good, the bad,
- 17:13Speaker 1: the intense, the embarrassing. Like I feel like I lived
- 17:16Speaker 1: this year and it's quite fulfilling. It's quite nice and
- 17:19Speaker 1: then you realize that not every day has to be
- 17:21Speaker 1: beautiful and pretty and whatever. But what I do want
- 17:23Speaker 1: is I want to live. I want to feel like
- 17:24Speaker 1: I've lived. And that's a life that you can love.
- 17:27Speaker 1: It doesn't always have to be peachy and perfect with
- 17:30Speaker 1: no mistakes or no embarrassments or no pain or no discomfort.
- 17:33Speaker 1: It's one where you feel you've lived it. Okay, that's
- 17:37Speaker 1: how you love your life. So that one, that's a
- 17:40Speaker 1: big one. Number six. Really focus on falling in love
- 17:44Speaker 1: with the process of doing so stop living from the
- 17:49Speaker 1: end for everything. Milestones are great, getting that degree, being
- 17:54Speaker 1: able to run that marathon. These are really good things,
- 17:57Speaker 1: and I'm very encouraging of people setting meals and working
- 18:00Speaker 1: towards them. It's a huge pillar of you know, what
- 18:03Speaker 1: helps us grow, what helps us, you know, with our
- 18:06Speaker 1: mental health. When we've got a goal, that's super important.
- 18:09Speaker 1: But that alone does not equal happiness. It contributes to
- 18:14Speaker 1: your happiness. But if your whole life is all on milestone, milestones, milestones,
- 18:18Speaker 1: and you never look at what's happening in the today
- 18:21Speaker 1: in the doing of that thing, you're going to feel
- 18:23Speaker 1: like happiness is always on the other side of something else.
- 18:26Speaker 1: So I think these things have to happen in combination.
- 18:29Speaker 1: It's important to have these goals. Growth is what helps
- 18:32Speaker 1: us feel a level of satisfaction within our lives where
- 18:35Speaker 1: we see this growth and we see ourselves getting better.
- 18:37Speaker 1: But we need to have we need to be enjoying
- 18:40Speaker 1: the process when it's happening as well. If any of
- 18:43Speaker 1: you guys have watched the Rafao and Adule documentary, love
- 18:45Speaker 1: him so much. I love Rafao and Adult so much
- 18:49Speaker 1: for so many reasons, and I quote him all the
- 18:50Speaker 1: time in all these different ways. But one thing that
- 18:53Speaker 1: he did say in this documentary is he spoke about
- 18:57Speaker 1: learning to enjoy suffering extreme. But obviously the suffering that
- 19:02Speaker 1: he's referring to is these really hard training sessions, these
- 19:04Speaker 1: grueling training sessions which taught him that if he could
- 19:08Speaker 1: get to a point where he could put up with
- 19:11Speaker 1: that suffering more than his competitors, he already had the edge. Yes,
- 19:15Speaker 1: you need, of course, the crazy skill that he had,
- 19:17Speaker 1: but if he can endure something for longer and not
- 19:20Speaker 1: feel like it's absolute torture, then he has that edge.
- 19:25Speaker 1: So and then he started actually liking it. So I'm
- 19:27Speaker 1: not saying you've got to like all the horrible things
- 19:29Speaker 1: in your life, You've got to like the things that uncomfortable.
- 19:31Speaker 1: But it's saying, how can I look at something that
- 19:33Speaker 1: I normally label as, Oh, that's something I don't like
- 19:35Speaker 1: doing or that I avoid doing, like, oh, this is
- 19:38Speaker 1: just slog I've got to do it. How would you
- 19:39Speaker 1: turn it around to be like what aspect of this
- 19:44Speaker 1: can I like? Or what about it? Does it give
- 19:48Speaker 1: me that there is a sense of fulfillment while I'm
- 19:50Speaker 1: doing it, Like whether it's when you're exercising, or whether
- 19:53Speaker 1: it's you really enjoy the fact that you have that
- 19:56Speaker 1: mental fortitude to have that one hour of high focus
- 19:59Speaker 1: or whatever wherever it is. But it's like, how can
- 20:02Speaker 1: I fall in love with the process of doing? I'm
- 20:05Speaker 1: going to be more present in the doing. I'm going
- 20:07Speaker 1: to really enjoy. And an example of this is like,
- 20:11Speaker 1: let's say you're going for a run and it's just
- 20:14Speaker 1: not a good run that day, Like you don't feel
- 20:16Speaker 1: your legs feel like they're made of lead, you do
- 20:19Speaker 1: not have a spring in your step, You are dragging
- 20:22Speaker 1: yourself for that run. You could finish that run earlier
- 20:26Speaker 1: than usual, being like I'm not feeling it. I feel
- 20:28Speaker 1: like shit and then go home being like, heck, that
- 20:29Speaker 1: was a shit run. Well, next time, I'm not going
- 20:30Speaker 1: to go for a run unless I'm in the mood
- 20:32Speaker 1: to go for a run, because look at that. That
- 20:33Speaker 1: was a shitty, fucking trash run and I'm not gonna run.
- 20:37Speaker 1: And then then you put off running when you're not
- 20:39Speaker 1: in the mood, and then you're only going to run
- 20:40Speaker 1: with in. You could turn that around and do I
- 20:44Speaker 1: did this happen to me recently? I had like it
- 20:46Speaker 1: was just a shit run, and I was like, oh,
- 20:48Speaker 1: I have also hadn't recovered from a cold, and I
- 20:50Speaker 1: had an asthma my lungs and shit. Anyway, but I
- 20:53Speaker 1: did the run, and then I remember when I was
- 20:55Speaker 1: finishing the feeling of when I finally stopped. And I always
- 20:59Speaker 1: stop at the stations so I can get to power rad.
- 21:01Speaker 1: So I stopped. Finally I got to the fucking pedrol
- 21:03Speaker 1: station and I stopped to walk in to get my
- 21:05Speaker 1: power red, and I was just I had a moment
- 21:07Speaker 1: where I paused, and that feeling where you are your
- 21:12Speaker 1: heart is pumping, you are feeling your lungs in and out,
- 21:15Speaker 1: in and out, you're panting. You've just finished. I lived
- 21:18Speaker 1: for that feeling. It's like, I'm gonna be one hundred
- 21:21Speaker 1: years old hopefully, or nineteen whenever, whenever I'm fucking old
- 21:23Speaker 1: and I can't be going for runs anymore, and I'm
- 21:26Speaker 1: gonna be like, remember those times where I was able
- 21:28Speaker 1: to go for runs and have my lungs full, like
- 21:31Speaker 1: pumping air in and out and being puffed out. That
- 21:34Speaker 1: feeling like you never feel more alive than when you're
- 21:37Speaker 1: fully puffed out, when you've exerted yourself. That physical feeling
- 21:40Speaker 1: of like oh, gasping for air. It's awesome, right, And
- 21:45Speaker 1: especially at the end of a run when I'm like that,
- 21:47Speaker 1: I just I love that feeling. I love that feeling.
- 21:50Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, it was a pretty shit run, but
- 21:52Speaker 1: still got this great feeling. I still got this awesome
- 21:54Speaker 1: feeling where I get, you know, and now I've got
- 21:56Speaker 1: my gat so like, I'm really enjoying that process. Have
- 21:58Speaker 1: I gotten anywhere close to running a marathon? Probably not?
- 22:02Speaker 1: Maybe yet tinedy bit, I've chipped away at it, but whatever,
- 22:04Speaker 1: Like that, that was awesome and I feel really good.
- 22:07Speaker 1: And now because I've focused on the feeling and I've
- 22:09Speaker 1: focused on how good it feels to take those breaths affair,
- 22:11Speaker 1: and now I get to have my gad and now
- 22:12Speaker 1: I'm walking the final block home. I'm feeling you for it,
- 22:15Speaker 1: and it's made my day so much better. Okay, so
- 22:18Speaker 1: this is an example of falling in love with the process.
- 22:20Speaker 1: I now love cleaning the kitchen in the morning after
- 22:23Speaker 1: I've fed the kids because I'm like, there's no better
- 22:26Speaker 1: feeling than having a nice, clean kitchen for the rest
- 22:28Speaker 1: of the day instead of fucking dishes everywhere. So, yes,
- 22:31Speaker 1: it takes a bit longer. Yes it might be annoying
- 22:33Speaker 1: at the time, but now I'm enjoying the process of
- 22:35Speaker 1: it because I look at it as like a giant
- 22:37Speaker 1: puzzle and I'm putting all the pieces back together. My
- 22:39Speaker 1: Mum used to say when we had to clean the
- 22:40Speaker 1: whole house, She's like, look like I said, if it's
- 22:42Speaker 1: a puzzle, And I hated it at the time, but
- 22:44Speaker 1: now I use that analogy all the time. Number seven gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.
- 22:52Speaker 1: I want you to remember for a time in your
- 22:54Speaker 1: life where you wished for what you have right now,
- 22:59Speaker 1: and you might be taking it for granted now and
- 23:02Speaker 1: I'm not saying you have to love everything about your
- 23:05Speaker 1: life because you once wished for I'm not saying you're
- 23:06Speaker 1: not allowed to complain or you're not allowed to highlight
- 23:08Speaker 1: things that aren't working for you. But for example, sometimes
- 23:11Speaker 1: I feel really overwhelmed with work. I'm a little bit
- 23:14Speaker 1: behind with certain things. I've got some deadlines that i'm
- 23:16Speaker 1: absolutely not even close to meeting, and I'm feeling But
- 23:19Speaker 1: then and it's easy to be like, I'm pissed off,
- 23:21Speaker 1: I'm overwhelmed, i haven't done what I have done. But
- 23:24Speaker 1: then I could think, remember the time where I used
- 23:26Speaker 1: to literally vision board being able to work for myself
- 23:31Speaker 1: and vision board, you know, things working where I could
- 23:36Speaker 1: be creative. I was working for myself, to be fair,
- 23:38Speaker 1: I never visioned board the podcast because that kind of
- 23:40Speaker 1: evolved naturally as it did. But this idea of you know,
- 23:46Speaker 1: doing this for myself and now I'm doing it, I
- 23:48Speaker 1: was like, that's really cool. So it's nice to pause
- 23:51Speaker 1: and think, Yes, I'm overwhelmed and I need to do something,
- 23:54Speaker 1: so I'm not so overwhelmed because I've got a lot
- 23:55Speaker 1: on my plate, But it's pretty fucking cool that I'm
- 23:58Speaker 1: at a point in my life where I'm you know,
- 24:01Speaker 1: we're somewhere just a couple of years ago I've like
- 24:03Speaker 1: dreamed of. Or if you're someone that's like, well, no,
- 24:07Speaker 1: that's not me. I don't work for myself and I
- 24:09Speaker 1: fucking hate my job. What if you're driving somewhere, remember
- 24:11Speaker 1: when you're desperate to have your license, You're like, when
- 24:13Speaker 1: I have that freedom to have my license, it's going
- 24:15Speaker 1: to be the best thing in the word. And now
- 24:16Speaker 1: we just had to take it for granted. We just
- 24:17Speaker 1: drive around. Remember how cool it was when you got
- 24:20Speaker 1: your license. It was the coolest thing in the world.
- 24:21Speaker 1: Same as when you move out it was the coolest thing,
- 24:24Speaker 1: so exciting, and then you just take it for granted.
- 24:26Speaker 1: So sometimes it's nice to remind you if you are
- 24:28Speaker 1: right now sitting here being like, no, there's nothing I
- 24:30Speaker 1: can be grateful for them. So there's always something we
- 24:33Speaker 1: can find where there was a time that we wished
- 24:36Speaker 1: for that thing that we have now. And then it
- 24:38Speaker 1: gets you in that giddy youngest version of yourself being like, wow,
- 24:41Speaker 1: that is pretty cool. If the younger version of me
- 24:44Speaker 1: saw me right now, they would hope that I'm super
- 24:46Speaker 1: happy doing what I'm doing, and that I'm grateful that
- 24:48Speaker 1: I've got this thing because I wanted it so badly
- 24:51Speaker 1: at one point in my life. Okay, it could be
- 24:54Speaker 1: having children or a partner, or a particular job, or
- 24:56Speaker 1: your license, or the fact that you were able to
- 24:58Speaker 1: go on a trip, whatever it is. It's nice to
- 25:00Speaker 1: remind yourself of these things and feel that gratitude. Another
- 25:06Speaker 1: example of that is if you're someone that let's say you,
- 25:11Speaker 1: And I use this as an example because I did
- 25:12Speaker 1: this on myself and it really really helped me. So
- 25:15Speaker 1: when I came out of a really unhealthy relationship, I
- 25:18Speaker 1: acknowledged that it was an unhealthy relationship, but I was
- 25:20Speaker 1: extremely heartbroken and devastated, and I was, you know, super
- 25:24Speaker 1: manipulated and whatever, and I just wanted to be back
- 25:26Speaker 1: with my ex at the time. But I remember even
- 25:29Speaker 1: then thinking, what's something that I can take from this?
- 25:32Speaker 1: And I remember when I was with my ex how
- 25:36Speaker 1: I used to never have peace of mind. I never
- 25:40Speaker 1: had peace of mind. There was no trust, he never
- 25:43Speaker 1: trusted me. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells.
- 25:46Speaker 1: So I remember, even in my heartbreak, thinking, at least
- 25:50Speaker 1: I've got no one telling me what to do or
- 25:53Speaker 1: that they don't trust me, and that I feel like
- 25:54Speaker 1: I've got to Like I'm like I'm fucking sleeping at peace,
- 25:58Speaker 1: Like I can put my head down on my pillow
- 26:01Speaker 1: and at least I've got that mental peace. I'm heartbroken,
- 26:04Speaker 1: but there's none of this like kind of back and forth,
- 26:09Speaker 1: you know, trying to get someone to trust me or
- 26:11Speaker 1: this or that or like well, I don't know, it's
- 26:12Speaker 1: the word that I'm trying to escaping me right now.
- 26:15Speaker 1: But there was that peace, and I was like, I
- 26:18Speaker 1: remember when I was in that relationship, begging for like
- 26:22Speaker 1: one day. I just want to have this peace of mind.
- 26:24Speaker 1: I just don't want to feel like this constant emotional turmoil.
- 26:29Speaker 1: Now I haven't, like I might be harbreaken, but I
- 26:31Speaker 1: can be grateful that I no longer have that emotional turmoil.
- 26:34Speaker 1: So even in a really hard time, there are things
- 26:37Speaker 1: that you can find that you can be really really
- 26:38Speaker 1: grateful for. Okay, number eight And this is something that
- 26:44Speaker 1: I do all the time, and I do this with
- 26:46Speaker 1: Live all the time as well. Tell yourself, these are
- 26:51Speaker 1: the days, you know when people say, oh those were
- 26:53Speaker 1: the days, Those were the days. Live and I always
- 26:55Speaker 1: say to each other, we're like this is our time,
- 26:58Speaker 1: like these are the days, and I reckon, we'll be
- 27:01Speaker 1: saying this in every deck out of our life. I
- 27:03Speaker 1: think if you look at the time that you're living now,
- 27:06Speaker 1: being like this is the time, instead of thinking, oh no, no,
- 27:10Speaker 1: my twenties were the days, or high school were the days,
- 27:12Speaker 1: or you know, like the people always acting like their
- 27:15Speaker 1: best days are behind them is crazy. And another thing
- 27:19Speaker 1: is often you could be living what later on in
- 27:22Speaker 1: life will be one of the best eras of your life,
- 27:24Speaker 1: but you don't realize it until you're out of that era.
- 27:27Speaker 1: And that happens to a lot of people. It's only
- 27:29Speaker 1: when you look back that you think, oh, wow, no,
- 27:31Speaker 1: that actually was a really good era, and I wasn't
- 27:33Speaker 1: really present or grateful at the time of that era.
- 27:36Speaker 1: So I want you to tell yourself often these are
- 27:40Speaker 1: the days, and then you can say it. You can
- 27:41Speaker 1: say these are the days until you know you're in
- 27:44Speaker 1: your nineties. But yeah, it's just a way to look
- 27:51Speaker 1: at a season of your life and feel that you're
- 27:53Speaker 1: really living in that season. I've become so much more
- 27:56Speaker 1: present with since having my babies because I heard a
- 28:02Speaker 1: few and I've said this before on the podcast. But
- 28:04Speaker 1: I heard someone say a speech at a wedding. It
- 28:06Speaker 1: was the dad, and it was a father of the bride,
- 28:08Speaker 1: and he said like, I can't believe, like I'm looking
- 28:10Speaker 1: at you now, you're a grown woman, and you know
- 28:13Speaker 1: we were taking you home from the hospital not that
- 28:15Speaker 1: long ago. It felt like, you know, it's crazy, he says,
- 28:17Speaker 1: because you know the nights, you know, when you bring
- 28:21Speaker 1: a baby home and they're crying at night and you've
- 28:22Speaker 1: got all this sleepless nights. He goes, the nights are long,
- 28:25Speaker 1: but the years are short. And I was like, oh
- 28:27Speaker 1: my god that And I was pregnant at the time
- 28:30Speaker 1: when I was at this wedding and he said that,
- 28:32Speaker 1: and I was like, I will never forget that line,
- 28:34Speaker 1: because it's going to make me so present even now,
- 28:37Speaker 1: Like the boys are really good sleepers, but even now,
- 28:39Speaker 1: when they do wake up at night and I'm giving
- 28:40Speaker 1: them a bottle, I have a moment of like, oh,
- 28:42Speaker 1: I can't wait to go back to bed. But then
- 28:44Speaker 1: I remind myself of that sentence, and then it makes
- 28:47Speaker 1: me like, Okay, I'm tired. But then I look at
- 28:49Speaker 1: him and I'm like, wow, imagine when he's an adult
- 28:51Speaker 1: and I'm going to be like, oh my god, I
- 28:53Speaker 1: missed giving them a bottle in the middle of the night.
- 28:55Speaker 1: I miss when they were babies and I was able
- 28:57Speaker 1: to just hold them in my arms or whatever. Really,
- 29:00Speaker 1: a statement like that has stuck with me for so long,
- 29:04Speaker 1: and I think it'll stick with me forever, which is
- 29:06Speaker 1: really nice. And that's kind of the essence of reminding
- 29:10Speaker 1: yourself these other days. I'm living in the days that
- 29:13Speaker 1: I'm going to be looking back on being like, Wow,
- 29:16Speaker 1: if only I could revisit that time in my life.
- 29:19Speaker 1: And I think that's going to happen in many, many
- 29:21Speaker 1: seasons of my life to come, where I'll further down
- 29:23Speaker 1: the line want to revisit that season and you know,
- 29:27Speaker 1: and be there. So another thing that Live and I
- 29:30Speaker 1: say to each other is when something's really really great,
- 29:33Speaker 1: we always say to each other, this is the spray.
- 29:35Speaker 1: So there's this one time that Live and I had
- 29:38Speaker 1: where she was paranoid that she was going to start
- 29:42Speaker 1: sweating because it was a really hot day and we're
- 29:43Speaker 1: going to go out to some bar and BONDI and
- 29:45Speaker 1: she was like, I need to get deodor and otherwisen't
- 29:47Speaker 1: going to be spreading, and so I found this massive
- 29:50Speaker 1: jumbo deodoran and I'm like, this is the spray and
- 29:51Speaker 1: she was like, no, I need a middle mini one
- 29:53Speaker 1: and I'm like anyway, For whatever reason that one time
- 29:57Speaker 1: that I said, this is the spray, we now say
- 29:58Speaker 1: it to each other all the time and when we
- 30:00Speaker 1: are so when we arrived in Sri Lanka, or when
- 30:02Speaker 1: we got on the flight together to go to Sri
- 30:04Speaker 1: Lanka as our first ever trip away just the two
- 30:06Speaker 1: of us, plus we didn't have our kids and it
- 30:08Speaker 1: was just us to we literally get on the front
- 30:10Speaker 1: and we look at each other and I'm like, this
- 30:11Speaker 1: is the spray. So that's our line to each other
- 30:14Speaker 1: that we say when we're like this moment is it?
- 30:17Speaker 1: Like this is amazing, we are living in the moment.
- 30:19Speaker 1: We are living in this like this is it? So
- 30:22Speaker 1: find a way to have your this is the spray moment,
- 30:27Speaker 1: or we are like these are the days kind of
- 30:29Speaker 1: moment with yourself or with your friends or with your partner,
- 30:32Speaker 1: with whoever, and vocalize it, talk about it, share it,
- 30:35Speaker 1: share your passion for what's actually happening now in the now,
- 30:39Speaker 1: while it's happening, and just that gentle pivot or like
- 30:44Speaker 1: you know where you're turning your awareness back to the
- 30:46Speaker 1: moment of like this is actually really cool, helps you
- 30:49Speaker 1: enjoy it so much more, so much more. We're so
- 30:53Speaker 1: used to living in the future, what's gonna happen what
- 30:55Speaker 1: we're doing, or rehashing the past that we do all
- 30:59Speaker 1: of these live in the future, rehashing the past that
- 31:01Speaker 1: we glide over the present, and then then we look
- 31:04Speaker 1: back at that present and being like, wow, that actually
- 31:06Speaker 1: was a really good time, but we weren't in it
- 31:08Speaker 1: in the moment. We weren't really living it or like
- 31:11Speaker 1: in it, so be in it more. And then number nine,
- 31:16Speaker 1: I want you to get real clarity with a vision board, right,
- 31:20Speaker 1: But how much of that vision board can you bring
- 31:23Speaker 1: into today? So the mistake that we often make when
- 31:26Speaker 1: we're doing a vision board is we'll create this perfect
- 31:28Speaker 1: vision board, right, but everything we want in there. We've
- 31:31Speaker 1: got our personal style, We've got the things that we
- 31:32Speaker 1: want to tick off that year. We got the experiences
- 31:34Speaker 1: we want to have and the people we want in
- 31:36Speaker 1: our lives and the money we want to make. And
- 31:37Speaker 1: lah lah lah, we got this vision board. Great, love it.
- 31:40Speaker 1: But then it's always in the future. It's always this
- 31:43Speaker 1: board is in the future. So one thing that I
- 31:45Speaker 1: always encourage people to do with their vision board is
- 31:49Speaker 1: have things that symbolize and experience that the future you
- 31:54Speaker 1: would have regularly. So what I mean by that, it's
- 31:57Speaker 1: all well and good on your vision board to just
- 31:59Speaker 1: have the major things you want in your life, but
- 32:02Speaker 1: what does the future you do on a daily basis
- 32:04Speaker 1: or on a weekly basis, How would the future you?
- 32:07Speaker 1: How you romanticizing your life as the future you. So,
- 32:12Speaker 1: for example, one of my things that I have on
- 32:14Speaker 1: my Pinterest vision board is like a beautiful big kitchen
- 32:18Speaker 1: and a glass of wine and a rom com on
- 32:20Speaker 1: in the background. So I then started bringing that into
- 32:23Speaker 1: my life. Sometimes I'll have like I'll wrap up my
- 32:26Speaker 1: work early, and I'll make sure I've got my groceries done,
- 32:29Speaker 1: and I'll pick something that i want to cook that
- 32:31Speaker 1: might take a little bit longer, and I'll put my
- 32:32Speaker 1: favorite rom com on or one of my ten top
- 32:35Speaker 1: ten favorite rom coms I have, Like You've got mail
- 32:37Speaker 1: on and I've got a glass of wine, and I'll
- 32:39Speaker 1: start cooking a beautiful meal. The kids are napping or
- 32:42Speaker 1: Tyrann's taking them out for a walk, and I've got
- 32:44Speaker 1: my rom Com wine cooking a meal? Do you think
- 32:47Speaker 1: I want to be scrolling that. I'm like, I'm fucking
- 32:50Speaker 1: living my life. It's like, this is the fucking spray
- 32:54Speaker 1: And I had that experience in my vision board. It's
- 32:56Speaker 1: not a major thing that I need to tick off,
- 32:58Speaker 1: but it's a regular experience at the future me would
- 33:00Speaker 1: have because that's just the life they live. It's that
- 33:03Speaker 1: rom Com, beautiful beautiful music, wine cooking, whatever, And you
- 33:07Speaker 1: do whatever you want. Maybe your thing is the future
- 33:09Speaker 1: me would go for outdoor swims more often, or would
- 33:12Speaker 1: just go for whatever the fuck it is. You pick
- 33:15Speaker 1: an experience that's a daily kind of thing or a
- 33:18Speaker 1: weekly kind of thing that you just the future you
- 33:20Speaker 1: just would do and it would be normal for the
- 33:21Speaker 1: future you to do it and put it in the
- 33:23Speaker 1: vision board and then bring that experience to life. Now,
- 33:27Speaker 1: So stop making the vision board or the future goals
- 33:30Speaker 1: that you have for yourself all about these big I've
- 33:32Speaker 1: got to tick off these milestones. Make it about what
- 33:36Speaker 1: lifestyle would the future me genuinely have. Is it these
- 33:43Speaker 1: softer afternoons where maybe it's a wrong common or maybe
- 33:47Speaker 1: it's just some nice music, And I have like I
- 33:50Speaker 1: read half an hour outside. Is it where I do
- 33:54Speaker 1: this walk with some girlfriends and whatever, like? Whatever it is,
- 33:57Speaker 1: what experiences do you think, Oh my god, that would
- 34:00Speaker 1: be a really nice regular thing to do. It's not
- 34:03Speaker 1: I have to graduate from this, I have to make
- 34:04Speaker 1: this much money, I have to have this car and
- 34:06Speaker 1: live in this home. That will come later, and that's great,
- 34:09Speaker 1: But it's the little experiences that help you get from
- 34:13Speaker 1: who I am right now to the future you. In
- 34:15Speaker 1: the moment, there's already so many things that you romanticize
- 34:19Speaker 1: the future version of you, but there's many things of
- 34:21Speaker 1: that future you that you could be doing now, and
- 34:24Speaker 1: then you start feeling more and more like that person
- 34:26Speaker 1: that you want to become, but you're feeling that person now,
- 34:29Speaker 1: and then you bridge that gap way way quicker. So
- 34:34Speaker 1: just since the other day when I was talking on
- 34:35Speaker 1: my podcast about you know, positive self talk and all
- 34:39Speaker 1: of that and the neuroscience offered I'm not joking, in
- 34:42Speaker 1: the last week since that episode came out, or the
- 34:44Speaker 1: last two weeks, I am becoming more and more and
- 34:47Speaker 1: more organized, and I've stuck to it and it's actually
- 34:50Speaker 1: coming into fruition. I am creating the organized Alexis that
- 34:55Speaker 1: I never have been, and I was banging on about
- 34:57Speaker 1: it until a couple of weeks ago. I'm so fucking organ.
- 35:00Speaker 1: You should see the state of my bedroom and en
- 35:02Speaker 1: suite when I get up in the morning after it
- 35:04Speaker 1: like it is immaculate, and that was not often the case,
- 35:07Speaker 1: like you had make the bed but it was still
- 35:08Speaker 1: shit of it. No, no, no, no, I am organized. I'm
- 35:10Speaker 1: that person. It's crazy. So God, listen to that episode
- 35:14Speaker 1: if you want to become, if you want to be
- 35:16Speaker 1: a person of your word, basically. So lastly, and this
- 35:21Speaker 1: one is probably my favorite one. I mean, I know
- 35:24Speaker 1: I said that the first one is one that you
- 35:26Speaker 1: should all do if you're going to do one of
- 35:27Speaker 1: the but this is where we were really going to
- 35:29Speaker 1: have fun. And I could write an entire substock on
- 35:32Speaker 1: just this one thing is you're going to pick a
- 35:35Speaker 1: theme each month to become an expert in. And to
- 35:40Speaker 1: make it even better, I want you to make this
- 35:43Speaker 1: a game with your friends or your family or both whatever.
- 35:47Speaker 1: But it's imagine if and I'm going to pitch this
- 35:51Speaker 1: to my family, I'm sure they cannot wait. But imagine
- 35:54Speaker 1: if you said, once a month, we're going to get
- 35:56Speaker 1: together and you have to put together a PowerPoint present
- 36:00Speaker 1: that can only go for five minutes, depending on how
- 36:02Speaker 1: big the group is, five minutes if it's a big group,
- 36:04Speaker 1: ten minutes if it's just a couple of people in
- 36:06Speaker 1: the group. And we have to put together a PowerPoint
- 36:08Speaker 1: presentation on this topic that we've decided to become an
- 36:11Speaker 1: expert in one month. And it could be so rogue
- 36:15Speaker 1: the topics. It could be I want to be an
- 36:18Speaker 1: expert in ancient Rome, the history of aviation. It could
- 36:22Speaker 1: be astrology charts, it could be the early days of
- 36:25Speaker 1: formula one, how the opera house was built. It could
- 36:28Speaker 1: be as niche or as broad as you want. It
- 36:30Speaker 1: doesn't matter. It could be on a particular serial killer.
- 36:33Speaker 1: If that's your vibe, it doesn't matter. It's like, for
- 36:36Speaker 1: one month, I'm going to pick a topic. I'm going
- 36:38Speaker 1: to find every podcast episode on that topic or that
- 36:40Speaker 1: celebrity or that event in history. I'm going to find
- 36:43Speaker 1: a book. I'm going to go to the bookstore. It
- 36:45Speaker 1: makes you reach out more in life and you know,
- 36:50Speaker 1: source bits of information. It makes you curious, it makes
- 36:53Speaker 1: you hungry. It's fun. It is something that and then
- 36:57Speaker 1: of course when you get together, then your friends are
- 36:59Speaker 1: sharing these topics, and then you become hungry for knowledge.
- 37:03Speaker 1: You start being like, that is such a fucking random
- 37:05Speaker 1: topic that you chose to your friend, But I'm interested,
- 37:07Speaker 1: and now I actually want to know more about that topic.
- 37:09Speaker 1: Now I'm actually going to listen to the podcasts that
- 37:11Speaker 1: you listen to on that. And then it starts to broaden,
- 37:14Speaker 1: broad and broad and broaden, and then instead of doom
- 37:16Speaker 1: scrolling at night, you're like, I've got all these like
- 37:18Speaker 1: crazy interesting topics, and I've got to now plan what
- 37:21Speaker 1: my next topic for next month is going to be,
- 37:23Speaker 1: and I've got to get into that. And you will
- 37:25Speaker 1: be amazed at what a hobby can do for your
- 37:28Speaker 1: mental health and for your overall life satisfaction. Every single month,
- 37:32Speaker 1: you're picking something to become an expert in, and some
- 37:34Speaker 1: months you're gonna be like, no, I'm a die hard
- 37:36Speaker 1: fan of that thing for now, and I'm going to
- 37:37Speaker 1: carry it with me forever, like formula one obviously, But
- 37:40Speaker 1: you could also be like, Okay, we've close that chapter up,
- 37:42Speaker 1: glad I've melted that next topic. What's it going to be?
- 37:45Speaker 1: But you're always bringing in something you every single month.
- 37:47Speaker 1: So I'm doing that. I'm pitching it to my family.
- 37:50Speaker 1: I'm very excited, and yeah, it's just a really really
- 37:55Speaker 1: great way to just spark joy in your life and
- 37:58Speaker 1: for your friends to spark joy and life and family,
- 38:01Speaker 1: et cetera. And then you have that once a month
- 38:03Speaker 1: get together. You can even do it over zoom. It
- 38:05Speaker 1: doesn't matter, but it's that get together where you just
- 38:09Speaker 1: have a fucking good time and share on these you know.
- 38:12Speaker 1: I've seen it on Instagram where people would be like,
- 38:14Speaker 1: I'm having a friend night where we just have a
- 38:15Speaker 1: slide show presentation of conspiracy theories and everyone's got their
- 38:19Speaker 1: own conspiracy theory where they do a presentation and I'm like,
- 38:22Speaker 1: that's iconic. Another thing you could do with your friendship
- 38:24Speaker 1: group is you pick an overarching theme. So this month
- 38:27Speaker 1: it has to be sports, and it could be on
- 38:28Speaker 1: a sports person, a sporting event, a sports catastrophe, it
- 38:31Speaker 1: doesn't matter. But sports is a theme. One could be
- 38:33Speaker 1: conspiracy theories, one could be serial killers, it doesn't matter.
- 38:36Speaker 1: You can do it anyway you like. But that is
- 38:39Speaker 1: a really really fun one. And I can guarantee you
- 38:41Speaker 1: something so seemingly so like unimportant can weigh so heavily
- 38:47Speaker 1: in your overall happiness, and sparking joy and curiosity in
- 38:50Speaker 1: life and hunger for knowledge and the flow on effects
- 38:53Speaker 1: of that is going to really be one of those
- 38:56Speaker 1: tools that really help you fall in love with your
- 38:58Speaker 1: life again and have more fun in your life again.
- 39:01Speaker 1: So that is the episode of today. I really hope
- 39:04Speaker 1: you enjoyed that, and I hope that you were able
- 39:06Speaker 1: to do all ten if you can. If you listen
- 39:09Speaker 1: to this on Spotify, then write in the comments which
- 39:13Speaker 1: ones you're planning on doing, and if you're doing the
- 39:15Speaker 1: become an expert for the month. What is going to
- 39:18Speaker 1: be your theme for July? Okay, I need to know themes.
- 39:21Speaker 1: I want ideas basically for what mine could be. And
- 39:25Speaker 1: I think it'd be good for everyone else to have ideas.
- 39:27Speaker 1: And I'm going to resurrect so on my Instagram, my
- 39:31Speaker 1: broadcast channel little thingy where people you know, self Love Club.
- 39:35Speaker 1: I haven't written in there forever, so I'm going to
- 39:37Speaker 1: resurrect that. So if you follow me on Instagram, we
- 39:40Speaker 1: should also do one on Shanai. We should do one
- 39:42Speaker 1: on do you Fucking Mind? Page? Can yeah? So then
- 39:44Speaker 1: we can get people doing questions and stuff. Yeah, so
- 39:47Speaker 1: that would be a good one. We'll start one up
- 39:48Speaker 1: on the do Fucking Mind page as well for people
- 39:51Speaker 1: to give us their ideas for what their theme of
- 39:55Speaker 1: becoming an expert in whatever will be. Anyway, love that
- 39:59Speaker 1: so much. That is all for the episode of today.
- 40:02Speaker 1: I really hope you enjoyed it. I hope it's sparked joy.
- 40:04Speaker 1: I hope it's given you so much food for thought
- 40:07Speaker 1: and you're hopefully coming up with all these ideas like
- 40:10Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to Dimicks right now and get a
- 40:12Speaker 1: book on this thing and then get a really nice
- 40:13Speaker 1: notebook and a beautiful pen, and I'm starting my sentences
- 40:16Speaker 1: every day. We'll a little and we're doing it all
- 40:18Speaker 1: all right. Anyway, guys, that is all for today's episode.
- 40:21Speaker 1: I love you so much. Also shout out to my
- 40:23Speaker 1: German beans for helping me with the pronunciation of shou
- 40:27Speaker 1: sure shardon freud. I butchered it again, but anyway, I
- 40:31Speaker 1: appreciate it. I appreciate the help. That is all. Love
- 40:35Speaker 1: you guys so much. As always, remember bekind to yourself
- 40:37Speaker 1: you can't your brain. Don't take shit from anyone, and
- 40:39Speaker 1: especially don't take shit from yourself, don't e