Latest / Who Did What Now With Katie Charlwood / 148. King Edward II - Bisexual Chaos Monarch

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148. King Edward II - Bisexual Chaos Monarch · Who Did What Now With Katie Charlwood

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, delicious friends, and welcome to Who Did What Now?
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: The history podcast That's not Your History Class with me
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: and your host Katie Charlwood, history harlot and reader of books.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: So I am not long back from London. I was
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: there to see Deryvantes performing a burlesque show. And I
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: took my friend Paul because it was his birthday, and
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: so we went to London. We saw burlesque. It was great.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: There was a woman with a whip who called deadI Derrier,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: who's fantastic love her? Fey told her Faye from steps
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: was I'm gonna call it like the EMCE of the
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: evening and she was fab And so that was its
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: own thing. And we got dressed up in our glad rags,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: went out. My makeup didn't come off like my lipsticksted on,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: even though I ate a cal Zone pizza. You're welcome anyway.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: The next morning we went to go see the Terror
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: of London and pur Pole be like. We were just
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: going around and I'm like, and this is where Anelin
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: was executed, and this is where Roger Casement was held.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: You know who Roger Casement was, right, And then I'll
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: just go into like a shpiel because unfortunately I have
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: retained information. And it's like in a video game where
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: you get to a point and you're just like a
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: cutscene happens. That's me. I'm just like and now I'll
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: let me tell you the lower So that was a
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: good time. And I didn't get to see all the
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Tower of London, like I didn't get into the White Tower,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: and I didn't see the Crown Jewels because I haven't
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: seen the Crown Jewels in probably since I was like,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I want to say eleven. I think eleven was the
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: last time I think I saw anything. I don't even
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: know if I did that was even in the Tower
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: of London. Maybe I'm thinking of a different Crown Jewels.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Is there a different Crown Jewels and Scotland somewhere there
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: might be is there anyway? So we did that. It
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: was a good time. I came home and my pal
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: and I we made like some silo of videos on
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Instagram and TikTok, which are now on the Patreon by
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: the way, for all members free and paid. I started
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: putting anything that I'm putting out there for free is
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: just going onto the Patreon because I know some people
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: are saying they're leaving Meta and they don't feel like
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: they want to be involved in TikTok, and so this
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: is my option. So everything's going there. So on top
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: of the actual paid content that people are going to
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: get that they paid for, there's going to be the
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: free stuff there as well. So for everybody. Yay, now
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: again this is this is the thing. Okay. So because
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: I made like videos with my friend, my male friend
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: in it, some people came to the assumption that this
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: bearded man is my significant other. I do not have
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: a significant other. I want to clarify that. And he
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: and I are not romantically linked in any way. That's
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: not that's a that's a that's a no situation here.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: And if you're like, man, can't be friends like bisexual
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: people exist, Okay, so I kind of have to be
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: able to be friends with people. Otherwise I wouldn't have friends, Okay,
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: because all my friends are hot. Yell. Anyway, anyway, I
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Katie, quite your jibbil
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: jabba in fact me, in fact you I will. But
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: first we've got to get our source on. Our sources
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: are the Reign of Edward, the second New Perspectives by
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Athony Musson and Huiliam Dott. The English Nobility in the
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Late Middle Ages by Chris Given Wilson. King Edward the Second,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: His Life Has Reigned and Its Aftermath by Roy Martin Henes.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Some Means of Sodomy. A reconsideration of Edward the Second.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Sodomitical Reputation by Ian Mortimer. Edward the Second by Seymour Phillips.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: The Besotted King and his Adonis by Peter Horn. I
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: was it in comfortably good? Then let's begin. So this
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: month has been a month, shall we say, And there's
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: been a lot going on, just so much, and the
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: world out there, you know, it's scary and terrifying, and
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: bad things are on the horizon, and history as a
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: general rule is quite depressing. And I've talked about some
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: very sad things this month, and I've thought, let's go
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: a wee bit fluffya, a wee bit lighter, because you know,
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: it's eight hundred years old and also involves a king
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: who may have been too gay to function, although I
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: think he's more likely to be bi sexual. But that
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: is just my little tippit in there. So let me
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: tell you about Edward the second of England, who was
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: just known as Edward for a while. So he was
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: born as many people are, And he was born on
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: the twenty fifth of April twelve eighty four at Kinnearfun
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Castle in Wales. And you might be thinking to yourself,
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: why and under God was the English prince born in Wales? Well,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: his dad Edward the first, one of the Plantagenets, like,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: he was very well thought of during his era. Right
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: he was seen as a decent king, although he was
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: constantly at war with Scotland. Also, this is a lot
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: of wars with Scotland. It's gonna be a consistent theme
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: throughout this tale, So be prepared for lots of fighting
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: the Scots. But not only that. He also conquered Wales.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: So Edward the First he conquers Wales. And there was
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: like a basic modern bailey like castle. It was near
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: like a Roman fort thing. And Edward the First is like,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna rebuild this castle and make it think an
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: administrative center is like probably the best way to describe it.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: So we Edward young Edward baby Edward, Edward the younger
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Edward Ella. He is the son, he's one of the
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: sons of Edward the First and Eleanor of Castile, now
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Edward the First and Eleanor of Castile. That was a
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: political marriage. It was an arranged marriage, and generally a
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: you know, the best you can hope for in those
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: situations is for them to tolerate each other. However, it
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: seems like Edward and is Eleanor really like loved each
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: other to the point, and this is pointed out by
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: many historians consistently. Edward the First didn't have a mistress
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: when he was married to Eleanor of Castile. Like there
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: was no mistress, He didn't have a fails, he didn't
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: shag about like he was faithful to her, which is
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: rare for a king to do it the best of times.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: But a medieval king, a medieval king who's six foot
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: two and has like a lot of power, you know
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: what I mean. Like it's a whole thing. So Edward anyway,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: he is one of the many children that Edward the
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: First and Eleanor of Christiale had together, including Catherine, Joanna, John, Henry, Eleanor,
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Joan Alphonso, Margaret, Berengaria, Mary and Elizabeth and then then
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: it was Edward right now, there are records of three
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: more children. If you were triggered by infant loss, you're
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: gonna want to skip forward thirty seconds. Okay. So they
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: had three other children, a stillborn daughter who was their
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: first child. There was a satan who only lasted a
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: few days, and then there was a daughter who was
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: born in Palestine. The record says Palestine. Now she was
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: born there. I'm assuming it was during a crusade situation.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: But she did not survive. And that is that is
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: that case. Now as people from the past, especially infants,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: like once you get to a certain age, like you,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: once you pass infancy, your risk of dying is quite
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: low until you get older and then you've got war
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: and you know diphtheria. So anyway, Edward is one of
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: these many, many children who are said to be so beautiful. Right,
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: So all of these kids that are born, every single
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: one of them that is the child of Edel the
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: first and Eleanor of Castile, they're like absolutely stunning. They're
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: so beautiful that Henry the third actually gives Eleanor like
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: a higher allowance, shall we say, he gives her more money,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: specifically because she birthed beautiful children, like because they were
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: also handsome and lovely. He's like, here's my money, which
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: is like okay, dude, okay. Now, Eleanor allegedly a bit
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: of a looker, and Edward the First he's meant to
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: be like tall and blonde, and he's just like gorgeous,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: like totally gorgeous, and they could gorgeous kids. They're just
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: one big sexy family. Now, Eleanor she gave birth to
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: like sixteen kids in total, and I'll probably do an
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: episode on her at some point as well. But after
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: her last birth, her health started to decline, and so
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: by twelve ninety eight, when Edward is six years old,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Eleanor of Cristile passes away, and Edward the First is
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: so upset by this. He's heartbroken, he's depressed, and he
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: like gets all these crosses erected all over for her.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: You know, it's a whole thing. And he doesn't remarry
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: for another nine years, and for a king, like that's
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: a long time, Like typically you remarry pretty sharpish. But
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I digress. As a prince of the realm, Edward he
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: grows up like traveling around all throughout, you know, the
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: country that his father owns. The country is a very
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: loose term because how we see a country, the concept
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: of a country is a very new one, like historically
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: when you look at how time works, because you wouldn't
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: share fealty to like a land mass, it was to
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: your king or your lord or whatever. So people would
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: own areas, so you would be, you know, of the king.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: You would not be of like France. You know what
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I mean. It's anyway, it's the whole thing. So he
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: travels around all these castles all throughout the lands as
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: a child, and when he starts getting a wee bit older,
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: he starts going to parliament, well to visit parliament in London,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: and just because he has to learn how to like
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: run it. So it's like, hey, exposure theory. And so
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: when Edward the first his father goes away on campaign,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: young Edward becomes regent for the first time, and he's
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: like eleven years old. Now he's you know, stamping things
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: and signing stuff. But he doesn't have any like real
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: power because he's you know, a child. But apart from that,
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: he's like you know, stamping things, signing things. He's having tournaments,
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: and he's really into breeding animals like dogs and horses,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Like he's really into greyhounds, and he asks his sister
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: to like send him her greyhounds because he's like, they're
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: so wonderful, I should breed more of them. Now, when
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Edward's fifteen, alliances start being worked out, and by alliances,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: I mean political marriages. And he has betrothed to Isabella.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: So that's the daughter of Philip the fourth of France, right,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: So he's betrothed to her. Meanwhile, his father marries Margaret,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: who is the sister the king sister Philip of France's sister,
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: so his stepmom is also his aunt in law. It's
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: it's fun. Your family tree should not be a wreath, lads, Okay,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: it shouldn't. Now. Part of this is because they wanted,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: you know, French military on their side so that they
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: could continue to try and take over Scotland. Isabella, she's
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: only like four years old at this point. And this
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: is just like the marriage negotiation time, which brings me
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: to Brave Heart. Anybody who uses Brave Heart as his
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: story in any fashion, Like they try to make a
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: historical point with the movie Brave Heart. Need I remind
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: you they had the Battle of sterling Bridge, which was
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: the reason the reason Scot's had any chance of winning.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: The reason that battle was a success was because it
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: was on a fucking bridge. Okay. And in the movie
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: Brave Heart, it's in a field. Okay, it's in a field,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: and that an Isabella who's played by that sexy French lady,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: and she's just like, oh hello, Vegian Willies. I went
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: a real man, not my big get husband. And the
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: problem is like she was like sex at this time,
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: like she was not the big sexy lady. Okay, that's
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: not a thing. So anyway, yes, rant over about Braveheart.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: Now Margaret of France. She ends up having three children
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: with Edward the First, and these children are Thomas, Edmond
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: and a daughter who she names Eleanor. Now Eleanor doesn't
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: live past the age of five. But you know, I
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: don't know if that was entirely her decision to name her,
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: but there we are. Oh so that means that Edward
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: the First had two daughters named Eleanor. I'm just saying.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying. Anyway, back to Edward the Second. So
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: when he's growing up, he has like an Entoae. She
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: has like a group of young male companions and there's
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: like ten of them, all all The main one that
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: I will focus on, and one I need you to
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: keep in your head is Peers Gaveston. Now Peers is
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: like the lowest born out of everyone there, so the
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: rest of them have like higher standings in the nobility
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: and whatnot. Now he was noble, but the others were
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: more like nobly or nobles. And so his dad, he'd
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: been a landover from Gascony. He'd fought for Edward the
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: First like a good bunch of times, being held hostage
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: and then escaped. And when he escaped he went to
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: England and he was like hey, Edward, and it was
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: like hey, come here, and so Peers comes along with him.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: And because Peers is like the least noble of everybody here,
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: and he doesn't have anything to inherit really like no lands.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: His main shot is to like gain noble favor and
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: like work his way up, like that's his best option.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Now there are a few other people here, and so
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: there were other noblier nobles in this circle, like Euraspenser
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: and Gilbert Declare who becomes the Earl of Gloucester by
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: the way, AnyWho, Because Edward the First is like so
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: impressed with what Peer's dad was doing, he places Peers
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: in the household of Edward at Carnarvon, and they become close,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: very close, best friends, roommates, gal pals, gal pals, guy pals.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: And it is chronicled that when Edward the Second, when
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Erard of Knevin sees Peer's Galveston, like he is like
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: so much in love with him that he quote entered
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: upon and enduring compact with him and chose and determined
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: to knit an indissuable bond of affection with him before
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: all mortals, an indissoluble bond before all mortals. Now does
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: that just seem like like a proclamation like, don't sound
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: like marriage. I am bonded to you beyond mortals. Okay,
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: all right, Now there is like a flip side of
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: the coin of this where it has been suggested that
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: this is like a brother's bond, which is like okay,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: jan okay. Anyway, Edward's life like through the reign of
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: his father, Edward the First, like it's a lot of
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: campaigning against the Scots. It's just consistent, right, and so
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: they'll go and they'll go and fight the Scots and
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: they won't really do anything. And then they'll like say
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: they want or they'll do it until they runt of money,
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Like when the treasure is empty, they're like, oh shit,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: better go back now, or like when they make a treaty,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: but yeah, as soon as the treaty runs out, or
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: as soon as the you know, they get more money again,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: or someone decides to just stand up and go fucking not,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: then they start going and fighting against the Scots. Now,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: open battle doesn't really happen a lot with Scotland because
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: they know better and it's a lot of gorilla warfare.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: So they would like have like a skirmish and then
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: the Scots would flee into the hills and the English
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: would be like, oh no, oh dear, and it would
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: just like constantly go on with that. Right now, At
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: one point Edward thinks I've done it. I have beaten
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: the Scots into submission, and so he takes the coronation stone,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: you know, the thing they use in the ceremony to
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: crown the King of Scotland or queen whatever. Let's be fair,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: and so Edward the first takes it, and being a
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: dick about it, he takes it and he places it
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: in Westminster Abbey underneath the coronation chair. Right, So it's
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: under the rs of whoever is crowned king or queen,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: which is just a shitty move that's demeaning if nothing
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: else right in the sidebar. It's there for seven hundred
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: years until a group of students from the University of
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Glasgow decide fuck this for a game of soldiers and
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: they go down and they nick it. They just steal it.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: So as they're taking it right and they're dragging it out,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: it breaks in half and so two of them they
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: end up taking it into one car and the other
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: two take it into another and they almost get caught
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: right because there's a policeman nearby and he says these
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: cars just sort of hanging out near Westminster Abbey and
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: he's like, allowa, law alao, what's this all about? Then?
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: And there's a guy and a girl in a car
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: and so they just start making out. They're like, nothing
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: to say it, Oh, this we just two Scottish students
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: making out in a car. Well, just slobbering all over
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: each other. There's no coronation stone or half a coronation
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: stone in the back of the motor and this is
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: in nineteen fifty. So they do this and they end
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: up like taking it. At one point they hide it
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: in a field because they're just like, who's gonna look
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: for a rock in a field. So when like England
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: realizes that the Scottish Coronation Stone is missing, right, they
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: close the border between Scotland and England for the first
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: time in four hundred years. But anyway, the students they
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: get the stone up to Scotland, they hire a stone
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: maintain to like fix it, and they put this brass
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: rod with a piece of paper in it and they
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: put it in the middle of the stone and then
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: it's repaired. Now we don't know what that paper says.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: None of us do to this day. Now they end
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: up being caught and they end up being questioned, but
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: they do not get secured because it is a like
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: political minefield, Like there's no good outcome to this because
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: it's like, well, you did steal it fast, and it's
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: just not worth it. Now. The stone was returned in
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: like nineteen ninety six, and it's only really brought back
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: down to England for coronations, so it's been there for
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: one coronation. Yeah. Yeah, So Edward, he's sixteen years old
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: in the year thirteen hundred and he goes on campaign
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: for the very first time, and he's one of four commanders,
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: like he has the rear force, which is you know,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: he's there. He's not really doing anything because it's like
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: the one at the back, but he is, you know there,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: He's shown to be there. It's just to kind of
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: show his commanding prowess or whatever, his ability to lead,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: to make him like battle ready, kind of like easing
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: him into it. Now, Edward wasn't originally like the heir
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: to the throne his older brother Alfonso was. Could you
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: imagine if there was a king Alfonso, the difference in
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: history like Beca's this Alfonso. But anyway, there were all
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: these like seasoned commanders who are like, you know, making
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: the real decisions and whatever. But Edward being there is
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: more symbolic than anything else. And at one point they
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: do what they always do, they like besiege a castle.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: They capture the castle, and the Scots are that are like,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: oh well, and then just disappear into the hills as
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: they want to do. And so yes, another campaign doesn't
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: really do much and so the following year Edward becomes
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: the Prince of Wales and the Earl of Chester, which
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: is just like another step of him being like trained
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: into becoming like a battle ready king, you know. And
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: so he gets these titles. So becoming the Prince of
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Wales is one thing because that's an hereditary title. Becoming
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: the Earl of Chester, like the Earldom was like a
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: recognition of like him doing well, you know, for his
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: wee besieging and whatnot. And so he's seventeen, he's traveling
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: around the country. He's getting people to like swear fieldy
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: to him as you know, the Prince of Wales, and
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: people are trying to get him to like make decisions
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: and do things. But because he's only like a prince
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: and not a king, and because he doesn't really have
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: any actual governing power really, he doesn't really do much. Now,
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: later that year he does go back to Scotland because yeah,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: of course they do. And Edward he's got his first
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: independent command, and so they are attacking from like the
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: west and the east, and he has control of the
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: whole Western Arm, like the entire Western arm of the
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: English forces. And it's not just like him and his
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: soldiers and whatnot, his little like entouragure there including peers
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: of course he is They're like, oh, by them, and
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: so you know they go and do this, but they
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: don't really do much. Again but yeah, the Scots, as
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: per usual, do their way fighting and then disappear, and
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: so yet again they end up having to leave and
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Edward this is very clearly him being like trained to
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: rule and rain. That being said, just because your father
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: was great you to become king doesn't mean he likes
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: you very much. So here's the thing, is Dad him
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: They don't really get on the best because of what
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: families do, but probably a bit more difficult when your
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: father is like the ultimate supreme ruler or whatever. So yeah,
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: he and his dad have a set to every now
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: and again, Like in thirteen oh four, he ends up
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: insulting an advisor to his father, Walter Langdon, and because
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: word gets out, he's insulted the king's advisor. His dad
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: just like takes a bunch of his money, reduces his
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: funds and reduces the size of his household, which means
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: the majority of his companions are sent away, including Peers Gaveston.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: And three years after that they have another fight because
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: Edwald's trying to get Peers more land in power, and
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: so he asks to give Peers like a county, and
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: the first is pissed at this, like you are going
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: to just give this dude a county and direct quote,
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: you low born son of a whore? Do you want
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: to give away your lands now? You who never gained
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: any And so he does this. He screams at him
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: he threatened to disinherit him, reps out his hair and
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: throws him out, and Pierce then gets sent into exile,
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: like he is exiled because of this. Now, what's weird
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: to me is the fact that he called him a
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: son of a whore, considering the fact that he fucking
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: adored Eleanor of Castillo like he loved her. So I
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: feel like it was more of a you son of
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: a bit, although it's not really a direct quote because
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: it's not an old English, but imagine it's an old English, Okay,
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: so take that into consideration. But yeah, I really think
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: it's one of those you sort of a bitch type things,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: which shows you that phrases have been around for a
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: long time. So the funny thing about Peers as exile
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: is that he's given like a good amount of time
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: to like make all of his arrangements. He has given
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: an allowance and you know, he ends up being given
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: like a bunch of presents, like a bunch of stuff.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: So it feels like this wasn't really a punishment typically
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: against Peers. It was more like to deal with Edward.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: So like the year before, this happens before, like Peers
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: gets exiled, Robert le Bruce declares himself King of Scotland,
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: and Edward the First is like, ugh, fuck you, I'm
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: King of Scotland. And so war happens. Now Edward Young
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: Edward and a bunch of his mates they get knighted right,
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: so they become knights, including Peers. It has been sort
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: of compared to the coronation of King Arthur. But obviously
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: Edward the First isn't going to be doing this campaign
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: himself really because he's sixty eight years old. Okay, long chance,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: yea is. I'm not saying he's pushing daisies. I'm just
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: saying he's close to it. And so Edward we Edward.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: He's supposed to be running all these Scottish campaigns, And
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: I just love the fact that like Edward the First
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: is so determined, he's so into like conquering Scotland, like
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: he's hyper fixated on it, but because he's like so
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: obsessed with it, he's like, the son I don't like
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: very much, can you go fight Scotland for me? Thanks? See. Yeah,
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: Edward the first not really meant to be, you know,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: fighting in the war, but he decides he's gonna do
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: it anyway. And so thirteen oh seven, after getting really
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: mad and exile and peels Gaveston, he takes his stuff,
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: he takes his men, and he starts heading north, ready
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: to like do something, I guess that being said, he
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: gets dysentery and he dies just south of the Scottish border.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Now he had this whole thing, this whole plan of
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: you know what, I want my body to be brought
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: up to Scotland, like bring it with me. I want
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: to keep campaigning after I'm dead, and yeah, yeah, Edward
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: Edward the second he's like, no, I'm I'm not doing that,
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: And so he goes and he brings his dad's body
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: down south to bury him at Westminster. And now after
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: all this, you know, just there's a lot of stuff
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: going on in the background, Taxation war, all that jazz.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: And so the general consensus is people are quite feeling
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: positive about Edward becoming King he's been groomed for.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: He's trained well, he's been acting as a regent for
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: a long time, he's been sitting in Parliament, he's been
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: doing campaigns, and he's also sexy as fuck apparently, And
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: so his lords come in, they swear fealty to him.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: Everything's going dandy. And then one of the first things
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Edward does is recall Peter Gaveston and so he arrives
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: in England in like early August, so like the first
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: dies in July, is it joy? Is Joy? And then
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: in August Peel's Galveson is back. Langston, the advisor that
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: he insulted before Edward gets rid of him, he's like,
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: by bit and off he goes. So, yeah, Gavison's back,
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: and Erward makes him the Earl of Cornwall. He may
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: not have actually told him he was doing it. He
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: was just like and now you're the Earl of Cornwall,
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: and everyone's like, okay, what because Cornwall is very rich,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: because it has ten and so it is like a
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: massive honor and a massive gift to be given that,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: and it's really only meant for members of the royal family,
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: and like even to like this day, like you're not
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: supposed to just make a random person the Earl of
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Cornwall and not to be like tradition dictates, but you know,
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: societal rules and whatnot. One of Edward's half brothers like
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: they should have been given the Earl of Cornwall title.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: So he does this and it it unsettles quite a
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: lot of people. Now Edward sort of does a work
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: around where he marries Peers Gaveston to his niece Margaret Declaire.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: He's like, oh, and now you're a member of the
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: royal family, I guess. And yet it becomes apparent like
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: pretty soon the Edwards reign is not gonna be like
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: the super best one ever. Like he doesn't really do
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: much to begin with. So, like Edward the first dies
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: in July, he goes up gets the body. He just
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: doesn't really do much until like September, when he goes
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: back to England and arranges like his marriage and his
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: coronation and obviously the funeral of his dad. Now, remember
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: he was betrothed to Isabelle France, right, but like they
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: hadn't got married yet, and like she's twelve now and
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: so like they have to get married and they don't
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: actually like have children for a number of years. So
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: it's not the best situation, but it's also not the
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: worst situation because they're married mainly just because he's king
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: now and he has to be married and he has
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: to show that he is, you know, not going to
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: back away from an alliance, that he's not going to
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: be irresponsible, Like, he has to show that he has
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: strength and his convictions, and so they get married. Now
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: he ends up having the illegitimate children. So this is
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: where my bisexual theory comes in because he is like incredibly,
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: incredibly infatuated clearly with Piers Gaveston, but he's also shagging
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: about now. I don't know if this is any port
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: in a storm scenario or whether he just you know,
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: will sling his meat hook wherever he can and like
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: this is the whole divine right of kings. So like
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: he has been brought up to believe that God wanted
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: him to be king, right, that's a thing that is
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: a deep rooted belief right, and he's just like, eh, eh,
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: like you have responsibilities when you're like in charge of,
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: like I don't know, thousands upon thousands of people. He's
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: just such a lazy shit, right, Like he doesn't seem
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: to understand pressure or urgency of any kind, because someone
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: will come up to him and be like, you need
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: to make an important decision right now, and he'll still
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: take a fucking week to do it, and he wants
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: you up to parliament. He'll postpone his meetings. And when
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: he's ever presented with a series of options, like typically
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: he would just pick whichever one was the easiest. He
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: did whatever he wanted or whatever the last instruction was.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: So if he's being told like one thing and another
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: person tells him something that completely contradicts a thing, he's
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: gonna agree with the last person because he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: that dudes right. Because he's like and he has very
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: little interest in actually ruling. He relies on other people
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: to do like a lot of the important decision making
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: for him. And he's super impulsive. I actually feel bad
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: about calling him lazy now actually his and to like
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: contradict him, you know, taking a long time to make decisions.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: He's really impulsive. But he's also easily bored, and it
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: sort of creates a situation where people are able to
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: take power from him and under his reign, like the
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: kingdom becomes for lack of a bitter word, unstable and
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: like he can really he knows what to do. He
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: has been trained in this since he was a NIPPA,
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: but he's just not doing it. He just kind of
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: chooses to let other people do it for him. And
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: his hobbies they're really looked down upon by the gentry
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: because he's really into like digging ditches and breeding is
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: like horses and dogs, swimming and rowing, and he's like
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: super into the specifics of how castles are about. Oh fuck,
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: what if he's adhd and I just called him lazy?
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Edward the second. There are many reasons to
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: dislike you, but not if you're neuro divergent. Shit, this
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: this is adding up in a way I wasn't expecting
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: it to. I didn't think about this when I was
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: writing these notes down, you know. And so he's doing
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: all this stuff wi you're seeing as rural pursuits and
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: seeing as like lesser than and he just wants to
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: go and like you know, dig ditches and shit, and
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: he effectively just withdraws from politics for a little while,
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: you know, when things are going sour, and like there's
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: this expectation of him to like keep like campaigning against
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: Scotland and he's like, nah, he's just not really interested
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: in doing it. And it's like why would you, because
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: you're just wasting money because you're not going to do anything.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: And there's like there's this like a huge pressure to
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: do so because you've got all these lords who have
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: lands that are kind of there's in Scotland or like
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: in the very north of England and they keep getting
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: attacked by the Scots or you know, stuff gets stolen
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: from them and they're just like, no conquer Scotland and
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: you know, get our stuff back. And he's like yeah,
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: So he does these you know, attempts at dealing with Scotland,
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: but it doesn't really go anywhere. I mean, in fairness though,
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: it didn't go anywhere when his dad was constantly attacking it.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: It's not going to do anything when he's doing these
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: old like token treaties and whatnot. And also his army
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: he doesn't have the same army as his dad, and
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: a bunch of lords are like where are gonna go
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: fight and he's like, okay, cool, I guess. And part
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: of it is like they hate Pierce Gaveston so much
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: that they just refuse to do anything for the king
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: because of it. And on top of that as well,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: he's not really great at campaigning. He's not good at
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: leading the campaigns. Like at one point, was it in
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: thirteen thirteen, they they go to besiege Stirling Castle, which
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: was like a stronghold, the Scotty stronghold at that point,
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: and this cuts they meet them in battle and the
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: English cavalry like all the hostels get bogged down and
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: the Scots just rush in and just like slaughter them.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: And they don't have like the organization, they don't have
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: like the planning, and they don't the archers don't even
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: get ready to shoot, like it's just just the shit show.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: And so Robert the Brucey lines up all his noncombatants
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: up on the hill and he does it to make
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: it look like there's another army there. He's like, aha,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: look I have more army up here. And this scales
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: the shit of the English and they and and they
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: leg it now to give Edward some respect here. Yeah,
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: he refuses to abandon any of his troops until like
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: one of his men is just like, mate, you're gonna
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: die right, Like you can't, you can't just like go
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: down with the ship and they like force him to go.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: They grab his horse by the reins and drags him out. Now,
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: at least he wasn't a killed. I mean, can we
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: agree on that? Like, that's that's something, although I think
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: that's the impulsiveness of always like No. Meanwhile, a bunch
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: of the troops, a bunch of his men, they end
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: up drowning in a river and effectively looting happens. Stuff
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: is plundled, and yeah, yeah, and then of course the
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: big elephant in the room is if people aren't actually
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: talking about it, the big issue with his reign is
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: Pele's Gaveston like, and he's even more than like the favorite.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: So the concept of the favorite is an official position,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: like a companion to the reigning you know, monarch. Right,
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: that's the whole point is because they need someone that
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: they can trust because they are above like all others,
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: and so they need to have this person. I've discussed
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: it before with you know, King James's Favorite, and the
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: problem with Pierce can be smed down to this one
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: chronicler who says there were two kings, one in name
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: and one in reality, which is basically saying that Pele's
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: had all the influence and was the raining Peers is
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: seen as a bad influence on the king. Now, some
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: of this is a result of classism and nativism, which is,
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: you know, he's low born, he's foreign. You know, he
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: only got this position because the king likes him. Now
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: that that's one side of it. The other side of
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: it is Pel's was an arrogant prick. However, when Peers
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: has given any kind of responsibility or power, he actually
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: does like pretty well with it. And so when he's
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: you know, given a military command or what like an
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: administrative position, he does it reasonably well. And like Edward
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: will give him like dishes needs to make and tasks
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: to do, because you know, he just doesn't want to
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: and which kind of you know, he gives Peers his power,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: which all it does is stir the pot. It just
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: makes everything worse. The fact that's probably not appreciated by
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: the lords because on top of this, he's calling them nicknames.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: He calls the era of Warwick a black dog. He
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: calls the Earl of Gloucester a cuckolds bird, right right
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: like that, Edulds, don't piss off your nobles, like I know,
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: you know what happened to Caesar, Okay, you don't fuck
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: off the people that you're ruling. So in thirteen oh
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: eight he goes off to Franz to marry Isabella. He's
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: been king for six months, she's twelve years old. And
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: when he goes away, he makes peers regent who is
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: not He's not royal, he's not anyone like it would
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: have made more sense to make one of his like
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: full systems or one of his half brothers regent in
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: his place, okay, And this whole thing is seen as
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: completely unacceptable, and so he goes he gets married, and
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: when they come back and organize the coronation, and it
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: is this huge affair. And so there's like all of
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: these buildings put up like temporary buildings, I don't want
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: to say tense, but also kinda There is about forty
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: ovens and they've got these fountains that have red wine,
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: white wine and piminto right, so, which is like a
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: spiced wine. And it sounds like it's like a super cool,
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: interesting thing to do, but there's not a lot of oversight,
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: Like there isn't somebody like keeping on track, like things
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: are not going well, things are not being managed, and
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: a temporary wall falls down, crushes and kills a man.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: And yeah, the coronation itself. So this is where it
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: becomes clear how much Peers is revered by Edward himself.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: So it is customary that various items of the king's
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: regalia are brought in by like one of his lords
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: or like a bunch of his lords, and Peers gets
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: to carry in the crown. He's walking right in front
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: of Edwald and he gets to put the spur on
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: the king's left foot, so the right one is put
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: on by the brother of the King of France. So
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: like it's a big deal, okay, And so that's like
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: his brothers, like the next ranking people should have been
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: the one to do this, not Peers. Not only that
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Pearls is dressed fancier than the king. He's in purple, right,
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: he's got pearls embellishments, like he is so gratuitous, like
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: it's it's it's a thing, it's a thing. Tapestries are
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: made and they have Gaveston's like arms, his coat of
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: arms on the tapestries. Not is a bella of France,
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: not hard coat of arms with his no no no no, no,
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: no no no. And so like all of like the
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: queen's relatives. They are pissed. They go back to France
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: just like so mad because they're like, you clearly are
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: more interested in this man than you are with your queen,
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: and yeah, yeah, that seems that seems abouit right, And
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: so it gets to the point like Isabelle writes back
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: to like Philip, complaining that she's being neglected for Peers Gaveston,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: and so in Parliament the nobles protest saying that Peers
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: is committing treason by alienating the king from his lords,
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: and this queen right and so edyboard starts to prepare
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: for civil war, like imagine that, Like I'm sorry, your highness,
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: but you clearly love this dude too much. Can you
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: please calm the fuck down a wee bit and go
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: deal with your queen, go deal with your bloody job
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: and do what you need to do in private, mate,
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: Like just just cam it a wee bit like that,
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: that's the thing. A wee bit of restraint, eddie boy,
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: a wee bit of restrain, And maybe maybe you wouldn't
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: be in such a mess, Like maybe you would have
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: had a paddle when you were up shit's creak. You
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: know what? I mean, now, there were some historians that
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: argue that Piers Gaveston was just like this greedy so
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: and so, and he was like, you know, demanding more
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: power and more like funds from the king, right, and
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: this was a whole thing. However, the other side of
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: that is that Edward was just so madly in love
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: with him, he just kept giving him power. So it
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: just it just gets to the point that Edward, Edward
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: has to stop doing that. And so what he does
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: he sends Peers into exile. So Peers has exiled yet again,
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: and he he has excelled as governor of Ireland. So
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: not only has he been sent to Ireland to the
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: pale most likely, not only is he sent there, but
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: he's also how did I put this, given all of
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: the income of the area, you're exiled, Please take this castle,
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: this entire entourage of people and a fuck ton of money,
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: get out. What a punishment for you? Like this is
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: the thing monarchs would do. They would just like exile
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: someone air quotes and they would be like, and now
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: you're a governor of this land. The people of the land,
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: well they're just going to have to suffer through it.
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: And like Edward thinks this is gonna appease like the nobles,
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: but they are not impressed because they're like, what is this.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: You didn't send him anywhere, he's just over there and
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: you gave him all this money, Like what what are
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: you doing? And so the lords they write to the
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: Pope and they're just like exploring the situation. And the
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: Pope's response, what did he do after getting this information?
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: He excommunicated Edward? Like the Pope keeps like writing to
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: Edward the second and he's like, can you just chill out, man?
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: Can you cam it with Peers a little? Can you
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: just call canny? You know what I mean? And Edward
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: he is making deals, he's doing tax reforms, he's like
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: properly governing, and he's trying to get all these lords
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: on his side, specifically so we can get Peers back. Right.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: It gets to the point that he manages to get
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: enough people on his side. He gets Peers unexiled and
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: also x uncommunicated. Like he manages to do that, And
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: did I mention we're only in thirteen o nine, he
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: has not been king for a long time. When he's
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: already caused like this. Now, Edward assumed that the Pope
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: was going to un excommunicate Peers, and so he brought
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: Peers back a month early. Like they bring them back,
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: they have Christmas together, and he thinks that he's one
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: right and the nobles they are piste as fuck, And
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: so they request that a council of twelve ordainers be
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: appointed who are able to issue ordinances to like fix
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: a bunch of shit. And Edward is like, I don't
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: trust this, and so he goes, okay, sure, and instead
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: of twelve men, they select twenty one, and they pick
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: a bunch of people who had served Edward the First
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: as his ministers, and they basically exclude any man who
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: had relied on Edward the Second for any sort of
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: political advancement. So, yeah, it's March of thirteen ten. They
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: start right in this list and which they complete in
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: August of thirteen eleven, and effectively, it's just a big
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: long list of ways that they want to limit his power,
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: and they're trying to get rid of people who are
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: like influencing him negatively, so people like Peers. They want
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: him exiled by November. First, they wanted all of Edward's
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: income to go to the Treasurer, who would then decide
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: what it should be spent on. Edward is forbidden from
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: making war, leaving the country, appointing ministers, appointing a regent
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: using his seal without Parliament's permission, Like they're basically taking
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: all of his roles away from him. And this is like, honestly,
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: I think what Edward would want, because he doesn't want
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: to do that anyway. And I say that as if
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: pride isn't a thing, because like he is livid, like
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: he is very unhappy about this scenario, and he just
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: kind of ignores it really, so Peers he's exiled. He
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: ends up going to France, which was a bad idea
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: at the best times because Leslie, forget, the French royal
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: family hates him because you know of how he embarrassed
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: you know, Isabella at her own coronation, because it's like, hey,
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: there you go. There's this situation like his coat of
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: arms is up there with the kings like no. So anyway,
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: things don't go well for him, and he ends up
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: back in England by Christmas, and so the nobles are like,
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: I guess we're gonna have to capture him. And so
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: Peers and Edward are in this castle when a bunch
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: of lords led by the Earl of Lancaster show up
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: and they besiege them and they have to flee in
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: a boat. So they run off together and Isabella is
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: just kind of left to run away herself too, and
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: she's what sixteen seventeen years old, and so she has
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: to go do her own thing. Meanwhile, Edwin and Pears
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: go off and hide in separate castles, and within a fortnight, like,
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: Peers has to surrender because there's not many supplies, and
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: the Earl of Pembroke comes to escort him to another
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: castle for safekeeping, and the other castle actually belongs to Peers,
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: and now there is a possibility that the Earl of
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: Pembroke was being paid by Edward, so like this is
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: like okay, and so he finally, you know, out of supplies.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: So one comes in. He's going to take him elsewhere,
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: but yeah, they're traveling and he's left alone in the
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: house for a little bit, and then the Earl of
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: Warwick hears this. He gathers one hundred and forty men
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: and shows up and then takes him and Pears is,
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: you know, like okay, because what else is he going
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: to do? And so he goes to Warick Castle, a
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: bunch of his enemies come together and they do this
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: little trial, declare him a trader, and they execute him
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: right dead. And it's wild because Edward put everything on
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: the line, the stability of his kingdom, like all of
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: it for Peers. Now, this is where the whole argument
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: about oh they were blood brothers, Oh they were just
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: like really close, they were just good friends. That's why
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: I think this is bullshit, because you don't go to
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: that level of something, you know, for that. No, this
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: is one hundred percent head over heels, like infatuation. It's adoration,
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: it's all that jazz and yeah, it's it's the difference
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: in how he treats Peers compared to how he treats
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: Isabella or anybody else in his life. Like, yeah, no,
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: he's he's he's really into that dude. And all I'm
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: saying is if a king was to do that for
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: a woman in his court, like what he was doing
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: for Pears, no one would be arguing that they're shagging, right,
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: They'd be like, definitely, that's happening. That's a situation. Also,
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: chances are there also be children like running around, which
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: would confirm this, but obviously there's no children in this scenario,
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: well between Peers and Edward. But yeah, that's that. I
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: just I'm just saying, bisexual mess, bisexual mess Edward. And
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: now with lover boy being you know, a corpse, Edward
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: is less happy with his lords now. So after this,
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: Edward just decides to get new favorites. You have Dispenser
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: the Older and Dispenser the Younger. So Despenser the Older
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: he had served like Edward the First and Edward the
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: second in campaign, so he's well known, and Edward the
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: Younger had been a member of Edward's household since before
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: Edward was king, so like he was one of those
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: is like in that circle. And he ended up being
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: married to Eleanor of Clare, who's the sister of the
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: Earl of Gloucester, who was another one in the circle.
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: So thirteen fourteen, all the way through to thirteen sixteen
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: is just bad. There's heavy rainfalls across Europe and this
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: leads to what do you know, famine. There's a shortage
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: of food, which is worse, absolutely worse when things are
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: not going well for you. So this creates economic instability.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: Now we cannot blame Edward for the weather. We cannot
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: and it's happening all over Europe, not just in England. Now,
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: remember we cannot blame him for the rain, but we
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: can blame him for his reaction to the rain. So
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: it's already a struggle, like there's shortages, like so much
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: so that even the king on will struggle to get food.
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: And in thirteen fifteen there's a famine, massive unrest through
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: the kingdom. You've got a rise in crime. What's that
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: Starvation leads to instability. Who could have known? And on
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: top of this, you they're being raided by the Scots
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: because like, yeah, they're also struggling, so they're going and
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: trying to do what they can. So economically things are
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: not going well and Edward people are liking him less
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: and less. And so one day Edward, Isabella and their
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: household are having this banquet and they're watching, you know,
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: all these entertainers do their thing, and in reads a
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: woman like on horseback wearing a mask, and she hands
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: him a letter and he thinks this is funny, this
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: is all part of the show, and so like, open it,
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: read it aloud, and so he opens a letter and
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: starts reading it it's just a big long list of
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: how he's a shit king, right and how he's just
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: like awful. So she gets arrested and like she gets questioned,
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: turns out one of his lords set this whole situation up,
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: and then she gets off right. Good for her, Jesus.
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: So yeah, Amongst Edward's detractors is the Earl of Lancaster,
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: who just really thinks Edward's a shitty ruler. Effectively, like
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: Edward had this whole thing of anyone who had lands
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: before like thirteen ten, they should have those original lands back,
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: and the people who currently owned those lands were like, no,
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: let's not do that, and there's all this unrest amongst
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: the lords, like the Earl of Sorry even abducts the
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: Earl of Lancaster's wife, but like the story goes, allegedlates
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: that she's like this is fine, I don't mind this.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: He's a terrible husband anyway, which could be true but
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: could also be propaganda. And so things are not going
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: well and he starts refusing the Earl of Lancaster. He
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: starts refusing to attend parliament unless Edward's courtiers are dismissed.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: And all this does is makes him isolated off in
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: his castle because they're just like no, no, And so
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: Lancaster is desperate enough about his position that he makes
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: contact with the Scots and a bunch of men with
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: some of the scotsmen attack and rob a party of
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: the king's men, which just so happens to include two
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: cardinals and the pope. He's just like, what the hell
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: Edwards and sees that Edward has no control over his country,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: and then a we're in the same time A dude
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: shows up and says that Edward the Second is an
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: impostor and that he is the true son of Edward
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: the First, And he says that Edward the Second is
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: the son of a man who tricked his way into
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: the household in order to make love to the queen,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: and as a result, Edward is truly lowborn, and this
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: is like why he's such a terrible king. And Edward
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: thinks this is a fucking hilarious story, and everyone is like,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: you can't let him say this, this is treason, and
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: then people just assume that because he finds things like
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: this funny, that he's insane, like he's gone mad, and
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: it's like, no, this is just a stupid thing. This
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: is clearly bullshit, meant to like insult me and remove
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: my power, Like this is clearly a ploy, and he's
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: just continuing to love his life, and he's just like
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: promoting his favorites, like Hugh Dispenser the younger, like like
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: you'd think he would have learned from his previous favorite
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: being beheaded, but no, apparently not. But like Edward is
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: giving a lot of like shit to people in his circle.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: So Uras Spencer like he wants as much land as
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: possible because land means money, right, and so Edward gives
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: him hue tracks of land. And then you've got the
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: Earl of Gloucester, Gilbert Claire, who has like a stronghold
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: on the Welsh Marshes. He's like the most powerful lord
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: there and that's all along the sort of England Wales border,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: and so when he dies, there's this sort of like
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: power vacuum there and the land goes to his three systems,
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: and one of those systels is married to ud Spencer,
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: and so he gets that, and so he's working getting
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: more land through like all these different ways, and the
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: other lords are distressed, is one way to put it.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: And one of these lords is Roger Mortimer. So him
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: and his nephew Roger Mortimer. There's two of them, right
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: dry Spencer, he's like referred to as the King's right eye.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: But an iesore to the rest of the kingdom. And
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: these Welsh lords like having a wee bit of ants
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: and la pants yet and they are grumbling and agitating
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: is one way to put it. And so they get
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: the Earl of Lancaster on their side. Now to add
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: just another you know, flaming piece of trash into the
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: dumpster fire that's happening. There's this Welshman Llewell and Brenn
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: and he starts to revolt in thirteen sixteen. It doesn't
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: do well. He gets captured, he surrenders and he's like,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: do whatever you want, just leave my followers alone. It's
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: absolutely fine, needless to say. The Welshmen are like, pardon him,
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: please let him go. You know, revolts happen. So Mortimart
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: he's like, please, you know, pardon him. The Bishop of
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: Hereford he's like, please, plays pardon them. And several of
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: the lords are like saying, please pardon Lowell and Bran. However,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: Dispenser takes him off to Cardiff Castle, kills him without
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: trial and takes his land. And needless to say, the
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: Welsh lords are quite miffed about this. You could even
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: go as far as to say they are cross, and
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: so they start attacking in early thirteen twenty one. They
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: are laying waste to Hue Dispenser's lands. They're breaking in,
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: destroying all the shit, and they're flying the King's banner
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: while they do it, and so it's sort of symbolic
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: that are doing it for the king and it's for
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: the good of the realm. And Edward doesn't know what
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: to do, because he never does. And so some of
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: his counselors tell him he needs to go to war,
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: and some of them say and no, like, listen to them,
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: We'll have a discussion, And of course he listens to
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: the last thing. And so the Welsh lords they come
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: heavily armed, and it's a very tense discussion. Edward doesn't
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: know what to do about this, and he just keeps
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: putting it off and postponing it, like just procrastinating and
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: takes a really, really really long time negotiations, Like he
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: sends one of his men out to go and check
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: some castle for fortifications, like just in case they need
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: to you know, flee and be at war, and this
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: guy's like, I'm gonna join the Welsh. Essentially, the king
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: is just putting it off and hoping that everything's going
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: to resolve itself by like I don't know, magic or
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: some shit, and he needs a plan, but like he
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: needs a plan. The Welsh are really unhappy about this,
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: and they threaten to sit London on fire and then
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: so they have people mediating and they force Edward to
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: accept the terms. The dispensers are accused of like a
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: bunch of stuff, of restricting access to the king, making war,
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: seizing too much power, which is true. They are found
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: guilty and they are bashed here. The older he goes
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: off to France, and the younger he stays like just
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: off of Kent and it becomes a pirate. Really. He
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: traps any ships that are coming as way as robs them.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: So he's just like being a pirate, Like, don't mind
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: Edward the second and his pirate boyfriend, Oh who is this?
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: The king and his pirate boyfriend? AnyWho? Edward just like
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: doesn't have any supporters. Now he's ignoring the ordinances and
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: he is planning to overthrow the banishment of you know,
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: dispensers like you Dispenser, the older one who dispensers the youngers,
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: and he summons a church assembly to like deal with it,
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: and he, along with his selected churchmen, decide that it's unlawful.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: Hugh the dispenser, like the younger, he has offered protection,
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: and quite soon after that they're were called, like, don't
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: mind the king's pirate boyfriend. He's fine. So by calling
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: the churchmen, by getting these religious people involved, he basically
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: circumvented having to get parliament's approval because having religious authorities
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: be the one making the decision, like God comes first,
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: King comes second, Like that's kind of how it's supposed
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: to work, Like God is like the tip top, and
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: so you're supposed to listen to the religious people because
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: they're supposed to know what they're talking about. Again, this
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: is the thirteen hundreds. So he's doing stuff, and he's
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: able to do stuff when it fucking sits him. And
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: so like, imagine being the only thing that you're good at,
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: like as a king is bringing your boyfriend's home. Like anyway,
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: so he orders that the Welsh agitators are arrested, including
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: the Mortarmers, and so they surrender and they are sent
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: off to the Tower of London. Edward's army and the
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: rebelling army meet at the Battle of Boroughbridge. Edward wins,
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: the Earl of Lancaster is capturled and he has declared
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: a traitor and is beheaded. And so like they didn't
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: like Edward, they were desperate, and so now he kind
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: of has some revenge and so we as this period
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: of time now where he's actually doing pretty well. He
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: regains power, harvests are getting better. The Mortimers are in
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: the tower. They've both been sentenced to death. The older
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: one dies in prison just because, like being in the
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: Tower of London is not the easiest thing. The younger
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: one manages to survive a way bit longer, then a
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: sentence is commuted to life. In present, unsurprisingly, opposition to
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: Edward and the two dispensers is on the rise again.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: This time it's led by Queen Isabella herself and the
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: Bishop of Hereford. She's like, no, sir, no, like they
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: have three kids in total as well, like they do
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: manage to have kids. No, it's for kids. You've got Edward, John,
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: Elena and Joan and so this is where things get fun.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: So Isabella, the bishop and a few other people help
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: Roger Mortimer, so the one that's you know, still alive.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: They drug the guards and he gets out of the kitchen,
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: climbs up out the chimney and then gets off the
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: roof by a rope ladder. Then he gets into a
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: row boat and rows away and eventually gets to France.
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: So the Dispensers at this point they have all the
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: original lands, they have more land, and they're getting even
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: more and a lot of this is like, I'm gonna
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: say it, uh illegal who the dispenser the younger? Right,
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: he kidnaps an heiress until her land is given to him,
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: and shockingly enough, like the pirate boyfriend is kidnapping and
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: it stop it anyway, So again people are like not
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: cool with this, and you know, this isn't cool. And
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: on top of that, they're more on the queen side,
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: and even Edward's old pals like they are starting to
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: like side with the queen, like like hey, look, it's
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: a civil war between the king and his wife. Like
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: the Dispensers see Isabella as the source of the trouble
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: and so they try to like you know, cause some
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: issues been hard on Edward as if you know this,
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: seeds of discord has not already been sown, okay, but
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: they're trying to make it worse. And they try to
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: get the marriage annulled. But like they've had children, Okay,
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: that's not not a thing. She has produced heirs to
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: the throne, no way, lads, And so they try and
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: spread propaganda against her, like specifically because she's French, and
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: they're like, she's French. If the French invade, she's gonna
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: help them and they're gonna take our land. And yeah,
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: they also like arrest a bunch of French people in
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: England because they could be traders. And she is not
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: happy about this, and so she writes to her brother,
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: King Charles the fourth Right, who is the reigning monarch
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: at that point, and they want to calm it down,
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: and they're like, Edward, come over have some negotiations with
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: a French crown and he's like, oh, I'm super busy,
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: and so he sends an envoy instead. They make no
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: program and Isabella is like, I'll go. So she goes
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: and she does very very well. She does some very
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: good negotiating and her brother says, listen, I'll give you
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 1: financial support if you need it. You can live here,
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: and she's like that's wonderful. Now they still want Edward
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: to come over, and the dispensers are afraid that if
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: he does, everything will just fall apart from them, and
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: so like, don't do that, send your son instead, and
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: he goes okay, and so they send the heir to
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: the English throne over to Isabella in France. He's thirteen
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: years old at this point. So Isabella is there with
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: the air of the throne, which I mean, of all
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: the things that you could have done, you thought this
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: was the choice. Yeah, this is this is not this
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: was not a good plan. Now, Edward the second doesn't,
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: you know, realize he screwed up immediately. And he expects
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: that his wife and son are going to come home
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: at some point. Spoiler alert, they don't. They send all
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: their men home and he's like, please come back, and
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: as a fella's like, no, I'm good, and he's just
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: like I don't know whether he's oblivious or whether he's
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 1: just so self involved, but like he doesn't realize that
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: what's at risk here. She writes down that she knew
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: that there had been attempts to destroy their marriage, and
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: she would return when the men responsible for it were gone.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: So Hugh the to Spenser older and Younger, like, once
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: they're gone, she'll come back. And until then she was
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: going to consider herself a widow. Her brother would pay
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: for her to live in France or give her an
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: army to invade if she wanted one. I'm gonna have
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: to do an episod in Isabella France at one time,
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: I think, because she's also fucking brilliant, and ed was like,
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: what what are you talking about? My companions have always
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: been good friends to you. And her brother's just like yeah,
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: and I'm the king of France. I help you out.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: You want to invade him, you can invade them right now.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: Edward the second writes to his son, He's like, please
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: come home and don't marry anyone within my permission. And
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: all the bishops are writing to Queen Isabella, going get
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: back here, please come back, Dear God, come back, and
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: she's like, no, not doing it, and so Isabella and
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: Edward are declared enemies and formally banished from the kingdom.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: Now that's funny, because you know he's the heir to
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: the throne and she is the Queen consort. And here's
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: the thing. So at this point Isabella was like, you
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: know what, I don't have a husband anymore. You banish me,
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: so I'm going to start shagging Roger Mortimer. And so
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: this is used to smear her reputation, and because you know,
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: the very Catholic King Charles is like, oh no, you
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 1: can't do this, and so he refuses to give her
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 1: any money and he says, go back to England, go
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: back to your husband. And she does leave, but she
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: raises an army and a fleet because she goes to
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: England and is like, I'm the queen, you want to
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: be my army, let's take over. And so this along
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: with a bunch of European allies that she had like
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: made these connections with, and she's just like everyone is
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: panicking like you've got you've gone, like his queen coming
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: back and being like go fuck yourself, Eddie and Isabella
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: shows up and there's general chaos in London and some
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: Londoners just like behead two of Edward's men, just like
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: two random londoners, not like a member of an army.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 1: They're just like Nope, the Queen takes London. She conquers
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: London and Edward Flaes and so Isabel is taking lands,
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: giving them back to their previous owners. Like Hugh Dispenser,
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: the older tries to hold a castle. However, the people
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: who are living in the castle side with Isabella and
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 1: they just like hand them over. So he is captured
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: and he has sent and sentenced to be hung drawn
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: in quarters. Now, so that's the older Hue Dispenser. You've
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: still got the younger Hugh Dispenser, the pirate boyfriend. So
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: Edward is like trying to escape and try to raise
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: a army, and he's like failing, and he's captured along
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: with Hugh Dispenser the younger and a few others are
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: with them. So there's a mock trial for the younger
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: and he is also hung, drawn and quartered, and his
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: head is displayed on London Bridge. And at this point
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: Queen Isabella has Edward seal and she's issuing documents in
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: name from Edward. So she's trying to like increase her standing.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: She's trying to like keep power with the crown. And
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: so in thirteen twenty seven, in January, churchmen and nobles
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 1: alswear allegiance to Edward Young, Edward Right, the heir to
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: the throne, and they appoint a new government and Edward
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 1: the Second is effectively he's deposed, right, and this is
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 1: the first time this happens in England. And now the
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: fourteen year old Edward the third refuses to become king
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 1: without consent from his father, and so a group of
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: nobles all show up. Right, they go to Edward the
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 1: Second and they say, please just give him the crown. Right,
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: He's dressed all in black because he is the drama. Right,
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: he's sobbing, he begs for everyone's pardon, and then he
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: expresses joy that his son is going to be his
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: successor and be king. And so Edward the Second he is,
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: you know, captured. He's deposed, but he's tchnically a little
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 1: bit of a threat, and so they end up moving
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: him around a lot. But he's not doing well with this.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: He's not eating very well, he's not sleeping, and he's
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: constantly moving. And they're deliberately, like the lords, they're deliberately
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 1: trying to keep him in sort of i an unpleasant state.
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: They want him to be on edge, they want him
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 1: to be worried. They want him to know that he
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: has no power, and so he doesn't know of someone
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: when they're coming to see him, if they're going to
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 1: be like kind and nicer, if they're going to be
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: like violent. And so this is happening for a while,
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: and then and then the news breaks that the king
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: is dead, and this is where things get mysterious. So
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of rumors going around about how he died.
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: And again, you're gonna wanna skip forward, like I'm gonna
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 1: say sixty seconds if you don't like torture. So the
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: theory goes or allegedates Edward the Second was given a
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 1: terrible torturous death where he was held down and a
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: funnel was inserted into his anus, and then a white
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: hot metal rod was inserted into the funnel which was
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: in his ennis, and it was twisted around and round
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: until he died. And so the theory has the reason
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: that they would kill him in this manner was because
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: they didn't want there to be any outward signs of
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: like attack on the body, and by doing this there
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: would only be internal issues. So if he was like
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: stabbed or whatever, it would be like an obvious sign
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 1: of murder. You know of regicide if you will, which
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: is definitely a way to do it. But also one,
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: poisons exist, and two you can just smother someone with
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 1: a pillow, like like that's that's the way to kill
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 1: someone and not really leave a mark. I'm just I'm
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 1: not advocating for like smothering, Okay, I'm just saying it's
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: a choice. The other theory that, you know, why this
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 1: was done in this fashion was because he was quote
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 1: a sodomite and they wanted to give him, you know,
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 1: a befitting death because you know, homophobia was the thing
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 1: even back then. But here's the thing. If you're going
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 1: to do something that you know, aggressive in that blatant,
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 1: the whole point of doing it that way so people
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 1: know that you did it that way or that was
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 1: how it happened. But those rumors don't come out until
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: much later. So chances are he probably died if you didn't.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's a very timely death of when it
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 1: happened one way or another. Edward allegedly passes away on
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: the twenty first of September thirteen twenty seven. Now how
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: he died is a mystery. Now, it could have been
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: a murder or it could very well have been just
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 1: from him being carted around, his sleep deprivation, if he
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 1: was mistreated, if he had it, like he's more susceptible
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 1: to illness and you know, bacteria and all these things.
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 1: And yeah, there were so many things that could contribute
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: to his death. He could have been ill, he could
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 1: have choked in his own vomit, he could add to know,
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 1: his bleed, so many things. But like there's no evidence
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: of something happening one way or the other. Anyway, Edward's
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: body was embalmed at Berkeley Castle where he passed away,
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: where it was viewed by like local leaders from like
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: Gloucester and Bristol, and it wasn't taken to Gloucester Abbey
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: until the twenty first of October, and it was another
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 1: two months before Edward was buried. Now the you know,
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 1: was delayed. Now they think it's because they wanted Edward
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 1: the third, who had been corominated at this point, for
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 1: Edward the Third to attend in person. So they end
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 1: up making this effigy for the funeral, which is like
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 1: the first known one. Now, the idea is that because
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 1: you know, the body had decomposed to such a point
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 1: like they had to do that that being set like
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 1: this is not the end of the story, right, because
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 1: he gets buried. It's it's fine, It's seen as a
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 1: very legitimate like thing. Right. However, there's a conspiracy. This
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: story isn't over yet. There's a theory that the king
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 1: didn't actually die. Instead he fled. Now how he did it,
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 1: whether it was through nobles, there's a theory that Isabella
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: was involved with it so that they actually got rid
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 1: of them, you know, and he got to live as
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 1: a hermit in somewhere else, and that his death was
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 1: faked just in order to really legitimize Edward. The third
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: is king. Now, who's to say how or what happened
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 1: because it's that long ago we don't really know. So yeah,
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 1: there it is. Now, There ends the story of Edward.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: The second, again, I'm convinced, is a bisexual mess. If
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: you liked my ranting of this story, which is probably
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 1: less cohesive because I'm so tired after traveling, Yeah, written
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: a few five stars. If you don't everything else to say,
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 1: don't say anything at all. I'm very very out of
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 1: sorts today, normal say, shall resume next week. And and
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 1: of course I have a special bonus episode for you
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 1: next week, which I've been working on, and it will
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 1: be more logical and more streamlined than this, I promise you. Anyway,
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: thank you. You can follow me on the socials on
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 1: tiktoko I'm hood what now pod? I have Katie underscore
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 1: Charlwood on like the other ones. Oh, you can find
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 1: me like I'm all over the place. Also for reading reviewing,
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: what what am I saying? I'm clearly tired. So for listening,
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 1: go listen to Gossip at the Corpse Cart episode seventy
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: eight with Wine and Crime podcast. I'm a guest and
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 1: I'm fun, So go listen to that. For watching Ironheart, okay,
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 1: go show some support to this, you know, because don't
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 1: pretend that you give a shit about anything nerdy, right,
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 1: don't pretend you care about Marvel motherfuckers, right, don't pretend
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 1: you give a shit about any of that, Like you
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 1: can't watch Thunderbolts. Yeah, and then refuse to watch iron Heart.
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. No, Okay, if you care about it, watch it.
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 1: I don't care if you don't even like it, just
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 1: at least watch the first episode and show some support
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: for this, because there's a whole group of people that
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 1: are not going to be doing that, so you deserve
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 1: to do it. Okay. So that's watching, that's listening, and
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: for reading, you know what, you know what, I'm gonna
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it again. Queen James by Gareth Russell.
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 1: Read Queen James by Gareth Russell. I don't have anything
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 1: else to say on that. It's a great book. If
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 1: you like you know, the fifteen hundred, sixteen hundreds, if
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 1: you like that period of time, go go read it.
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 1: It's great. It's it's actually it is actually genuinely good.
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 1: Now with that, I am going to say good night,
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: adios au revoir a ladas my friends, bye bye,