Latest / Friday I'm in Bed / It's Friday I'm on Leftie Island
Transcript
- 0:00Hello, welcome to Friday. I'm in bed.
- 0:02Podcast for midlife women living their best life but in bed by
- 0:0610. This week on Friday, I'm in bed.
- 0:14We're starting with a new media narrative around angry women.
- 0:18Apparently we've all got green hair, nose piercings, vote a
- 0:21certain way, care about the planet, and don't want children,
- 0:24and somehow that's become something to be scared of.
- 0:27We're unpacking the whole manosphere versus femisphere
- 0:30debate and asking who benefits from this narrative and why now.
- 0:35And then we're talking about Stella McCartney's new
- 0:38collaboration with H&M. She's built a reputation as the
- 0:41ultimate sustainable designer. So what happens when that meets
- 0:44fast fashion? Is it a cash grab or is there a
- 0:47genuine opportunity to shift things from the inside?
- 0:50Or just more green washing? And in our bonus content for Zen
- 0:55subscribers, we're getting into drinking culture in Parliament.
- 0:59Should MPs be allowed to drink throughout the day and then vote
- 1:02on decisions that affect the country?
- 1:04It comes after Green MP Hannah Spencer said the House of
- 1:07Commons smelt of alcohol and unsurprisingly, not everyone is
- 1:11happy about it. So grab a cuppa and let's get
- 1:14into it. Hello, Kate.
- 1:20Happy actually not Friday because obviously we record on
- 1:23Wednesdays. How?
- 1:25How has your last week been? Hello.
- 1:27My last week has been all right. I think last week I said my
- 1:31stress levels were growing increasing.
- 1:34I think that's the the phrase they're they're nearly peaking.
- 1:37I think they're nearly at peak. Daughter's got first GCSE on
- 1:42Friday. So the day this comes out and
- 1:44she's got a bad wrist. She had a football injury years
- 1:47ago and it comes and goes and it's flared up and she can't
- 1:50write. Her hand is strapped and she's
- 1:52in a lot of pain. And I'm like, wow, we've got 48
- 1:55hours, 48 hours to fix the hand. And yeah, my son's final project
- 2:01is tomorrow. My stepmother had an accident in
- 2:06London and unfortunately it's broken quite a few bones.
- 2:10So that and my mum's in hospital today.
- 2:13It's just like, you know, that I think it's definitely the
- 2:17sandwich generation, as we're often described thing of like
- 2:20parents and children. Obviously not everyone has
- 2:23children, you included. But it's that feeling of like,
- 2:26my God, all I need now touch wood is is the dog.
- 2:29Something will happen to the dog.
- 2:30Like I can't cope. I won't say that I did touch
- 2:32wood when I said that, but it is that feeling like what next?
- 2:36So that's me. Well, I've, I've spent, like,
- 2:39the whole weekend in a, like, shepherd's Hut in the hills in
- 2:43near Oldham. Just like listening to birds
- 2:47relaxing. That was lush.
- 2:49Yeah. So my husband had a dry
- 2:51stonewalling course on which he broke his finger.
- 2:54It's fine. It's very bruised, but yeah,
- 2:56he's fine. But yeah, no, I did, I did no
- 2:58such activities. I read my book, sat outside,
- 3:02enjoyed the scenery. Yeah, it was all lovely.
- 3:04So, yeah, I'm. I was quite chill.
- 3:07And now all of a sudden. I'm back at work.
- 3:09Yeah. I've made a conscious decision
- 3:12that I don't have a lot of work on in May.
- 3:14I have like my my normal work, but I don't have anything extra.
- 3:17I don't have like any big piece of work to do.
- 3:21So I've made the conscious decision that I am going to step
- 3:24back in May Obviously I'm still working so I'm not like off, but
- 3:28just I'm going to have to lean into all of this stuff that's
- 3:32going on and be mummy and daughter.
- 3:35I feel otherwise. I think my sanity is going to go
- 3:38so. So I think I'm just going to
- 3:40just try and like go with the flow in May and not like stress
- 3:44about work and stuff like that, yeah.
- 3:45Don't take any of the else on. That's it.
- 3:47Apart from podcasts, yeah. I can always talk Gemma.
- 3:51Yeah, now this is, this is the good bit, this is the good bit
- 3:53of the week We go, Oh no, I have to talk about things that are
- 3:56annoying me this week with Kate. It's great I ever do get it off
- 4:02my chest. Speaking of which.
- 4:04I have my cuppa. It's try try latte.
- 4:08Do you have yours or your can of coke, whatever it is you're on
- 4:10with? Today it's still a can of coke,
- 4:12I'm afraid. Yeah.
- 4:13Caffeine for it's my lunchtime can of Coke that I have.
- 4:16So yeah, lots to talk about. Plus we have bonus content.
- 4:20Woo. So the Zine went out for the
- 4:23first time on Saturday morning. Have you subscribed, everybody?
- 4:28If not, there will be a link somewhere in the show notes, I'm
- 4:31sure below. If you're watching on YouTube,
- 4:33the links are out there and there will be bonus content
- 4:36coming out on Saturday so you can hear us moaning and ranting
- 4:41and putting the world to write about another issue that has got
- 4:45our goat. Is that actually a phrase?
- 4:47Yes. No, I think yeah, it's not.
- 4:50It sounds stupid now you say it, but it is a phrase.
- 4:52OK, the gods got our goat podcast Subscribe.
- 4:59Let's crack on. So the first thing I want to
- 5:07talk about today is angry young women, which is sort of us.
- 5:12Or maybe it was once angry, angry middle-aged women, angry
- 5:15midlife women and women just angry women.
- 5:19You could be angry at any time. Basically.
- 5:21This comes from an article that was in the new statement in
- 5:25mid-april entitled Meet the Angry Young Women.
- 5:28Now it's not, it's not that unsympathetic when you when you,
- 5:32when you read it, but some of the women that were quoted in it
- 5:35who'd spoken to the journalists were, were quite annoyed about
- 5:37how they were represented. So the story was meet the angry
- 5:41young women, the new feminism reshaping Britain.
- 5:44That was the exact title. It's behind a pay wall but I
- 5:48have read it and got the PDF. Am I allowed to say that?
- 5:51Oh. No idea.
- 5:52Am I allowed to put it in the Zine?
- 5:54I don't know. I'm angry enough to do it.
- 5:56It's a long article. She went around the country
- 5:58talking to feminist influencers. She hung out at a Unison Cayley
- 6:03in South London, going on the Palestine March, sitting in on a
- 6:06Uni feminist book swap in Leeds. The headline headline finding
- 6:11from their polling, which was run by Mail in strategy, look
- 6:14how detailed my notes are today, was that women aged 18 to 30 are
- 6:18by now far the most progressive demographic in the UK.
- 6:22So they're 26 percentage points less likely than young men to
- 6:25feel positive about capitalism and 21 points less likely to
- 6:28think they'll out earn their parents.
- 6:29I don't think I will out earn my parents either, but my parents
- 6:32probably made better career choices than I did.
- 6:36The gap is also biggest amongst women who went to university.
- 6:39Now, none of that is particularly surprising to me.
- 6:41I don't know about you. It's kind of an attempt to take
- 6:44this, this group seriously. And then the right wing press
- 6:47got hold of it. So the other article that has
- 6:50prompted me to go right, I really want to talk about it now
- 6:53is a piece that was in the Telegraph titled Forget the
- 6:56Manosphere. It's angry lefty women we need
- 6:59to worry about. Yeah.
- 7:01Power to the people, yeah. Again also paywalls have read
- 7:07it. Her argument briefly was the
- 7:09young women have been radicalized by a Greta Sundberg
- 7:12was what seems to be largely to blame for this apparently.
- 7:15Alex that how I can't remember how Alexandra Cortez forget her
- 7:19middle AOC in the US. They're full of ceaseless dread
- 7:23and fury about toxic masculinity, turfs and fossil
- 7:26fuels. Which reminds me, we haven't
- 7:28done fossil fuels on here. We should probably They don't
- 7:33want to get married, they don't want kids.
- 7:35They want to overturn capitalism without apparently having the
- 7:37faintest graphs of basic economics, which I'm sure that
- 7:41the author has plenty of grasp of that.
- 7:43And apparently this, not the manosphere, the one with the
- 7:46body count that's causing deaths, That's what we should
- 7:48really be worried about. Yes.
- 7:50So that goes on for quite a while.
- 7:52Her proposed solution at the end of the article.
- 7:54Did you get that far in the article?
- 7:55No, I was so angry I turned off. OK, so she's very concerned
- 7:59about women not wanting to get married and have children.
- 8:02So because, she suggests, we stage a civic version of Love
- 8:04Island, where scores of unhappy Green voting young women can be
- 8:08stuck on an island with a troop of cavalry officers or Royal
- 8:11Marines. No, we just want to be on the
- 8:13island. We don't want the Royal Marine.
- 8:14Yeah, leave us alone. Just put us on an island, she.
- 8:19Calls it Lefty Island and it could be the salvation of
- 8:22humanity it. Could so make it the whole of
- 8:26Britain? So obviously there's several
- 8:30themes to discuss, the false equivalence between the
- 8:32femisphere and the manosphere, as they're calling it, and
- 8:35there's a constant framing in it, talking about these often
- 8:38attractive young women and they're focusing on their hair
- 8:42and their piercings, that kind of thing.
- 8:45There is why the young women are actually angry.
- 8:47And is it justified maybe? I mean, yeah, if we're not long
- 8:51out of the rape Academy story, are we?
- 8:52So luxury beliefs is an interesting one, which is from
- 8:55AUS commentator Rob Henderson, which and goes back to our wine
- 8:59moms that we spoke about earlier in the year where like
- 9:02privileged women complain because they can afford to
- 9:05essentially. So, you know, they're not
- 9:06engaging with the argument, just undermine the person making the
- 9:09argument. Yeah.
- 9:10So there's there's so much stuff in there.
- 9:12And then we finally end up with Lefty Island.
- 9:15So would you would you go stay on Lefty Island?
- 9:17Well, as I, I said anecdotally before, you know, you know, we
- 9:21live on an island. Why don't we just make it Lefty
- 9:23Island? Yes.
- 9:25And then yeah, that would be amazing.
- 9:27There's a couple. I wrote some notes just as you
- 9:28were speaking. Not that you can really see them
- 9:30in that, in that. OK, what about?
- 9:34So these are my literal first thoughts apart from rage OBFS.
- 9:38What about the lefty men? Because there's plenty of men
- 9:41out there actually not happy with the state of the planet,
- 9:45you know, and the violence and capitalism and and and and and
- 9:49so it's a bit like, OK, let's just make it a gender thing,
- 9:52shall we? Let's just make the gender war
- 9:54inverted commas worse. I've written down uni.
- 9:57You said about her often university, which might, you
- 9:59know, like which it's like, so they're educated, so they read
- 10:03and they have potentially critical thinking depending what
- 10:05they studied in university. But one presumes, you know,
- 10:08that's interesting, isn't it? Because we've talked a lot about
- 10:11how we seem to have lost the ability to critically think.
- 10:15It made me think about they're saying it's young people.
- 10:18But literally, that was me at university in 1991 going on
- 10:22marches, You know, so I was that person.
- 10:25I didn't have green hair, but I did have shaved hair.
- 10:27So I, you know, like, this isn't like new news, if you know what
- 10:30I mean. And yeah, we'll talk about
- 10:32luxury beliefs because that's, I think that's just an interesting
- 10:36one in itself. I think there is something
- 10:37around people, women, men who have privilege, it's almost
- 10:41easier to sit and and make all these claims or do all the, you
- 10:44know, it's harder, but it doesn't mean that.
- 10:48That it's wrong, Yeah. I mean, of course, of course
- 10:51it's easier because you've got the luxury of not being at work
- 10:53for 17 hours a day to try and earn enough money to pay your
- 10:56gas bills so you can be angry on other people's behalf.
- 10:59And one of the things that the right do is it's the amount of
- 11:05people who are less affluent who are sucked in by the right when
- 11:11you want to say to them, but actually they're not going to
- 11:14make your life better. You know, like there's a whole
- 11:16debate around that. I'd love to mention at some
- 11:19point, if that's OK. David Haye on I'm A Celebrity
- 11:22saying about, you know, the whole pretty girl, fat girl
- 11:26narrative. There's just like loads of or
- 11:29ugly girl. Well, that's.
- 11:30One of the things we can be angry about because.
- 11:32Yeah. Absolutely.
- 11:32So there's no. Yeah, sure.
- 11:34Things like that are out there apart from do we want to go and
- 11:39live on Lefty Island, in which I would say yes, as long as they
- 11:42don't actually put the Marines on there.
- 11:44Yeah, I don't want the Marines though.
- 11:45Why would I want them? Just down the left, just.
- 11:47But you know why they want They probably think that we need the
- 11:50Marines to provide, you know, fish for us, look after us,
- 11:54protect us on Lefty Island. But the fact is, is we don't
- 11:57need protecting if it's just us on Lefty Island.
- 11:59Yeah, Who against? So I think the first thing I
- 12:02want to talk about is that the manosphere and the femosphere.
- 12:05So do you? Do you think there is any
- 12:07equivalence to them at all? And well, I suppose, you know,
- 12:11at the base level, 1 is a group of men who are unhappy and the
- 12:15other is a group of women who are unhappy.
- 12:17So I suppose at that basic level, and one is women and one
- 12:21is men, you know that it's it's gendered.
- 12:25But I think the manosphere bit is obviously a huge part of the
- 12:30conversation because it's another thing that has made
- 12:34women and girls. And remember, they're talking
- 12:36about young women here. And I am a mother of a teenage
- 12:40girl and I'm seeing what's happening in schools and what
- 12:43she's dealing with and listening to and stuff.
- 12:46Because of that, they are angry and scared and determined to
- 12:52create a life that's on their terms, which is no different
- 12:56from, you know, the suffragettes or the night sixties 70s wave of
- 13:00feminism or whatever. It's it's just the next stage.
- 13:03But because the manosphere is out there and by that, obviously
- 13:08in cell culture, the podcast boys Bros all about their list,
- 13:13you know, they see the end result and and are at the brunt
- 13:17of it. So of course they're angry.
- 13:19So I think it is really relevant, but it's the whole one
- 13:22versus the other. Well, is it?
- 13:24No, see, that's what I see there is so there was some kind of
- 13:27genuinely misandrist content that was kind of highlighted.
- 13:30Of course, of course it's out. It's out there.
- 13:33I mean, there's there's the research that was what is it?
- 13:35Did I have that on my on my notes?
- 13:36Probably not. I write all these stats down and
- 13:38then the actual thing that I want to say isn't on there about
- 13:41the how quickly young men seem misogynistic content when
- 13:44they're online. Whereas, I mean, I'm almost
- 13:47perpetually online and I've seen very little content that I would
- 13:50call genuinely, you know, Miss Undressed or dangerous
- 13:53encouraging violence against men.
- 13:55So we don't pretend that it doesn't exist at all, though.
- 13:57But I don't think that the reach of that kind of content compared
- 14:00to like the manosphere content is equivocal at all.
- 14:03I mean, when they're talking about these angry men, the men
- 14:07seem to be angry at women for not giving them what they want.
- 14:10Whereas we're saying that women are angry about Gaza,
- 14:14capitalism, climate change, the medical establishment dismissing
- 14:19them so that they die earlier, I feel like that feels a bit more
- 14:22like justified anger. But it's just broader, isn't it?
- 14:25And it's looking at the whole picture.
- 14:28What's 1 of the things that's frustrating about the manosphere
- 14:32is, yes, you know, a large part of their anger and blame is on
- 14:37women when we know that a lot of what is upsetting them about
- 14:43life is because of the patriarchy, it's because of the
- 14:46government, it's because of the media.
- 14:49It's not, you know, they're the, they're kind of funneling it
- 14:51into hating women or blaming women.
- 14:54But actually the things that we're frustrated about are some
- 14:57of the things that they're frustrated about, but it's not
- 15:00not packaged the same from the people that are instigating it.
- 15:05So why, why do we think it is that it seems to be women that
- 15:08are angry about this and, and the men that are talking about
- 15:10it aren't angry about about, about those same things.
- 15:14I mean, men go to university too, of course, but they don't
- 15:18blame university. Yes, but it's really worth
- 15:20saying that the lefty issue. Isn't just women, The Telegraph
- 15:24have decided, or who they've decided to, to frame it as us
- 15:29because of course it's, it's buying him back into this
- 15:31patriarchal thing and this manosphere thing that we are the
- 15:34problem when it's the system that's the problem.
- 15:38So, and there are men at university, as you said, and
- 15:41they, they see it's the system. So it's not women that are just
- 15:45on Lefty Island. There are plenty of men that
- 15:47want to come and join Lefty Island too and care about the
- 15:50planet. So it feels actually, you know,
- 15:52is it like 1, the manosphere being one smaller group?
- 15:55I know we think it's big, but it's not versus bigger, very
- 16:00loud group of women, not just girls, because it's it's not
- 16:04just young women that are, you know, are angry.
- 16:07So it feels if you're more threatening to somebody, whoever
- 16:10the person that writes it is, I don't know.
- 16:12See, I kind of see that. So this is this is kind of the
- 16:15generation they're talking about the Gen.
- 16:16ZS. They grew up kind of perpetually
- 16:19online, whereas, you know, I'm, you know, so I'm exhenial.
- 16:22I didn't get a mobile phone till I was at university, you know,
- 16:25and that was one where you had like a character limit on texts
- 16:27and it's like, and then I got one with Snake and I was super
- 16:30excited so. They're seeing more but this.
- 16:33Yeah, this generation has been seeing this from a young age.
- 16:36Says they've, you know, they've grown up to me too and then
- 16:38COVID and then they're seeing Gaza and they're seeing all this
- 16:40stuff in real time, which is kind of a privilege that we
- 16:44didn't yeah, that we, we didn't have to to deal with that.
- 16:47So we're kind of lucky without having to see that.
- 16:49So I'm kind of not surprised that they're angry if they if
- 16:53they see that kind of stuff about the world.
- 16:55Whereas when I was a teenager, all I saw was what was in the
- 16:59newspapers. So it was newspapers like the
- 17:01Telegraph that were setting that kind of standard.
- 17:04So even though I was angry, I wasn't seeing other people that
- 17:09would maybe amplify that anger and feeling.
- 17:11It wasn't quite so easy to coordinate, I guess.
- 17:15I mean, I've been, I was thinking a lot about Riot Girl
- 17:17recently and zine's and that kind of thing after we started
- 17:20our our easing, yeah, our hours in newsletter about how that was
- 17:26the way. But they took time to distribute
- 17:28and photocopy and send out. There obviously I don't know
- 17:30because I did. So I was going to marches at 17
- 17:35and anti apartheid things and I was getting that information
- 17:39from somewhere and I don't and it wasn't from Zenes.
- 17:41I wonder, although there were Zenes, but I don't, I wonder if
- 17:45it was partly in the community that I was in.
- 17:48So I was very punk by the time I was 17.
- 17:50I would describe myself as punk, as a goth at 14 here I shaved
- 17:54hair and I wore army boots and I was angry with the world.
- 17:57But then we all were in our, you know, like in my sphere, if you
- 18:01like, in my in our sort of community.
- 18:04But we must have learned about it from somewhere.
- 18:06And it was very left lean. And at that point, Albert
- 18:09Thatcher was the Prime Minister. So the Mead and the media has
- 18:13always been right wing, let's face it.
- 18:15Um, I mean, not all of it, but most of it.
- 18:18Most of it, Yeah. Yeah.
- 18:19Um, so we got it from somewhere. Yeah, see, that's what I was
- 18:23wondering about because I did the same.
- 18:24I went to a really big anti Nazi league March in the mid 90s.
- 18:28It was absolutely massive, like the Levellers played at the gig
- 18:31at the end of it. I was also, I was DMS, but yeah,
- 18:33I was, I was Riot Girl, I guess Bikini Kill, Huggy Bear and
- 18:37Mambo Taxi kind of kind of bands.
- 18:40And yeah, but I wonder. I can't, I don't know, because
- 18:44my parents read the Daily Mail, but also I found out about these
- 18:46things from somewhere. But maybe Flyers were a big
- 18:49thing. I think it's music, so I
- 18:51listened to. I went to a lot of.
- 18:53Gig and I mean from obviously I'm older than you, so it was
- 18:56like eighties, 8687, you know, I listened to new mod Lami and it
- 19:00was it was all about system. They were the they were the
- 19:05lyrics, they were the words, I think, but maybe this is now
- 19:09then tied in with the green hair piercings narrative.
- 19:11You know, the punk because alternative music is generally,
- 19:17let's just say 95%. There is some kind of far right
- 19:20alt rock. Out there, but.
- 19:23Generally speaking, it's pretty much all left wing and it's
- 19:26radical thinking and it's global issues.
- 19:30They talk about poverty, they talk about politics.
- 19:33So I wonder how much is actually tied into all turn.
- 19:37And I don't mean like indie, like Blur, I mean alternative.
- 19:41Sorry, sorry to the Blur fans. I mean like real alternative,
- 19:45you know, like punk. Yeah, all right, girl.
- 19:48Or whatever, you know, because they were talking about those
- 19:50issues. Blair were like the entryway
- 19:52drug. I was parted it by then.
- 19:55Yeah, I mean, I went, that's where we used to hang out.
- 19:57There was the Forum in Tunbridge Wells was our, it was our gig
- 20:01place. We would go every weekend and
- 20:02see like kind of tiny indie bands and stuff.
- 20:05And I think there was a lot of. There was a lot of that out
- 20:07there. So maybe that's how it got
- 20:08better. Yeah.
- 20:08That's that's the other thing that the framing they're always
- 20:11focusing on like women's appearance in this and how they
- 20:14are, she'll call them often attractive, but then describe
- 20:17all the ways that they're kind of not living up to that
- 20:21attractiveness, like green hair piercing.
- 20:23So it's like it's like these they could be so.
- 20:27Pretty. If only you didn't have a nose
- 20:29pit. Yeah.
- 20:30And there was. There was, as you know, I'm a
- 20:33big man at first sight fan and there was a guy on there called
- 20:39his name's gone for my brain, proper manosphere guy.
- 20:42Literally, I don't want a woke woman was what he said.
- 20:45But he kept talking about I don't want a woman with green
- 20:48hair and a nose ring. He kept talking about it and it
- 20:51was, and I remember watching it thinking like, mate, shut up
- 20:55about the green hair. Like he's a bit obsessed about
- 20:56green hair. I feel like he secretly likes it
- 20:58because he's going on about it. But it's really interesting
- 21:01because now you've shared that article, it's green hair and a
- 21:05nose ring. I mean, it's literally as you
- 21:06said, it's like, oh, she could be so pretty, you know, if only
- 21:09she had natural hair and did Pilates.
- 21:12That's for the Pilates Princess debate.
- 21:14But look, I love my Pilates, but it's.
- 21:17You can do it and have tattoos and green hair.
- 21:20But that's not what they think. They think, you know, you need
- 21:23to drink matcha. No, it's all just like tight,
- 21:26like tied into that narrative of what the perfect woman mustn't.
- 21:32We talked about dating, didn't we, however long ago at the
- 21:35podcast about how no drama. I think they want men want no
- 21:40drama, which basically means no woman with a political opinion.
- 21:42Well, this is what Yeah. She describes her nephews as
- 21:45happy go lucky and baby positive and you go, well, that's nice
- 21:48for them. It's.
- 21:48Great. But also it's fine to be baby
- 21:50positive and it's fine to say I don't want children.
- 21:52Like, come on, I'm getting, yeah, I'm getting angry.
- 21:55So the looks thing is like, and it's so stereotypical, isn't it?
- 21:59Like if you're, you know, that view of to be left wing, you
- 22:04have to look alternative or whatever.
- 22:07And it's like, hey, there are plenty of women that don't look
- 22:09alternative that feel like this. And there's and men.
- 22:12But also let's just stereotype. It's just, yeah, it's, I think
- 22:16it's lazy. See it again.
- 22:17It's it's a lot of there. It's that's like the starting
- 22:20limit for like not fitting in to the traditional mould.
- 22:25And that's when they then go on to their not wanting marriage,
- 22:28not wanting kids. They talk about voting Green a
- 22:31lot because that's the new. I mean, it was Labour obviously
- 22:33when I was a teenager, I was 18. When Labour 18 months ago.
- 22:37Yeah, yeah, I was. Yeah, I was.
- 22:39I was 18 when, well, I turned 18 a week after the election where
- 22:46Labour came into power in the 90s.
- 22:47Just saying because all of my friends, almost all of my
- 22:50friends could vote and I could not.
- 22:51So that was quite irritating. So generation of women who
- 22:55apparently vote in green, don't marry, don't reproduce, don't
- 22:59share household politics with their partner.
- 23:01So that's like a real, like a threat to the structure they
- 23:06said. Was it?
- 23:07There was. So there were thirty final years
- 23:08in Leeds that they surveyed and nearly all the men wanted to be
- 23:11married with kids by 30 and only three of 15 women that they
- 23:14asked wanted to. So I mean, good luck with that
- 23:18guys. But I can see that because these
- 23:21guys are not envisaging a world where they are going to be the
- 23:23ones bringing up the children when they're envisaging having
- 23:27children. They're not envisaging a world
- 23:28where that's going to impact their career after they've left
- 23:31university. So again, this is that position,
- 23:34this is that position of privilege very much so where
- 23:37they've got the privilege to want that.
- 23:39Whereas women are very aware that they will, these young
- 23:42women are very aware that they will be making a choice if they
- 23:45have children between moving their career on at 30.
- 23:48Remember, bearing in mind that these, you know, these will be
- 23:50like 21. So it's, you know, 8-9 years is
- 23:52not a long, it's not a long time to be building a career.
- 23:56And then to say that by 30 you're going to be married with
- 23:58children is going to be a big cut off for you.
- 24:00This guy I. Wish I could.
- 24:02Well, actually I think it's probably quite good.
- 24:03I can't remember his name. I'm married at first sight on
- 24:05the wedding day said I want 5 kids, I want 5 kids.
- 24:10And she was like who's going to have them?
- 24:12And he was like well you obviously and she was like 5
- 24:15kids and he was like how hard can it be?
- 24:17You just need to feed them and change them or something.
- 24:20I got no way. Like they're a chair pet.
- 24:22And she was like, but you. But I'm going to have to have
- 24:25some like, like what? All very well.
- 24:29This kind of yeah, I want lots of kids, which I'm saying.
- 24:32And that's I keep going back to reality TV, but I keep seeing
- 24:34it. I want lots of kids.
- 24:36I want lots of kids, but there's not there's I want to be a dad.
- 24:39That's what it is. They keep saying I want to be a
- 24:41dad. I want to be a dad, but they
- 24:43never communicate why. And it's, we talked about it,
- 24:47didn't we, with Stephen Bartlett, You know, the race,
- 24:49you know, the human race dying out or their genes dying out
- 24:52type of thing. And they're talking about
- 24:54fathering as just a genetical, genetical genetic transfer.
- 25:00You know, like my genes, my DNA has progressed through the world
- 25:04and it's like they're just seeing it differently.
- 25:06Whereas we're like, yeah, I'm going to have to have it the
- 25:10baby obviously actually deliver it, you know, carry it for nine
- 25:13months and then be the primary carer.
- 25:15This is, it's not forget my genes.
- 25:18This is bigger. So yeah, privilege.
- 25:21Yeah. And those, those luxury beliefs.
- 25:22So I think that that can kind of vary depending on what kind of
- 25:27level of privilege you've got, isn't it?
- 25:29And that's always the thing to talk with about privilege, you
- 25:30know, just be like being poor doesn't mean you don't have
- 25:35white privilege or male privilege or you can still be
- 25:40not privileged in some areas and privileged in other areas.
- 25:43So in this particular instance, women don't have the privilege
- 25:46to be thinking about having children as just some kind of
- 25:49lifestyle issue. They know that it will be
- 25:52affecting their career, their bodies, and then their whole
- 25:55lives. It's not going to be kind of
- 25:57they don't get the slippers under the table when they come
- 25:59home and go, hey, kids, this is your 15 minutes today.
- 26:02So they, you know, that's a choice they've got to make.
- 26:04Whereas men have the luxury and the privilege of saying, Oh
- 26:09yeah, I'd love to have kids. I'm going to have this amazing
- 26:11career and kids and oh, it's going to be fantastic.
- 26:13I was ranting about this very thing last week.
- 26:17I watched the hustings of all the candidates for the Welsh
- 26:21Assembly and all of them bar one guess the one does not support
- 26:26more free or affordable childcare.
- 26:28So a lot of them are talking about the childcare being
- 26:32unaffordable and we need to help basically.
- 26:35But the reform person has has said no, you know, no, like
- 26:40doesn't even mentioned it. But yeah, they're the same party
- 26:43that have talked about potentially taxing women for not
- 26:46having babies. So we know they want you to have
- 26:48they want us to have babies, don't they?
- 26:50And they'll tax us if we don't is 1 has been one suggestion.
- 26:54But they're not prepared to support with childcare, of
- 26:57course, because they just want us at home.
- 26:59And then you think, well, no wonder educated women that are
- 27:03listening, reading, hearing, it's like you, you just want me
- 27:07to be a baby provider at home. And I don't want to do that.
- 27:10I actually would like a baby, but I'd like to be able to
- 27:14afford my life, to afford to have one, you know what I mean?
- 27:18And a life and a job and. Yeah.
- 27:21See, that's why I think women hear different things when they
- 27:24hear policies like that. They see, they see the immediate
- 27:28impact that's going to be on them, whereas I don't think men
- 27:30necessarily see that. Do you think, do you think it's
- 27:34justified anger? But bear in mind that we are
- 27:36talking about an 18 to 30 age group here.
- 27:38So we are not in the 18 to 30 age group.
- 27:42So technically this does not refer to us.
- 27:44Even though I do feel quite angry and personally, I'm, I
- 27:46identify a lot with what these people are saying.
- 27:49And obviously I feel like I was also an angry young woman
- 27:52between 18 and 30. It's just that we weren't online
- 27:55as much. Do you think that these young
- 27:57women are justifiably angry and pessimistic?
- 28:00Yes, because in your 20s is the time you leave university or you
- 28:05leave school and you think, well, I want to get a job.
- 28:07Like, what am I going to do with my life?
- 28:09You've had years of careers advice at school.
- 28:11So you're thinking about your career, you're thinking about
- 28:13your future. Also, we still live in a society
- 28:16through the media, through film, where, you know, falling in love
- 28:20and the next stage of our life is a thing, whether it's with
- 28:23babies, without babies, you know, And that's the sort of
- 28:27thing a lot of us think about in our 20s.
- 28:29What are we going to do for a career?
- 28:30Am I going to have a baby one day?
- 28:32Yeah. You might not be having them
- 28:34yet, but you're making those decisions whilst also
- 28:38experiencing life for the first time in the real world.
- 28:41And so if you're being met by manosphere stuff, it's going to
- 28:45make you angry. But also you have to have a
- 28:48baby. Well, I don't think I want a
- 28:50baby, you know, and you might not have made all your decisions
- 28:52then, but you're met with all this stuff.
- 28:54I think the 20s is there's a decade where you change and
- 28:58develop and learn who you are so much because in your teens
- 29:02you're just at school hating life because you're at school.
- 29:05And in your 30s you're kind of on your way, not always, but you
- 29:09know, on your way, whether that's in a career or maybe you
- 29:11have got family or, you know, got a bit more money.
- 29:13Maybe 40s. Yeah, 50 is you're like going
- 29:17actually I want to do all those things I meant to do.
- 29:19So I think the 20s is actually. What did I do with my 20s and.
- 29:22I know like, I really, it's time to go back, but I think
- 29:26acquaintance is such a time of growing and like, what am I
- 29:28doing? What, what, who am I going to
- 29:30be? I think there's a lot of that.
- 29:32Well, it was for me anyway, because you don't do any of that
- 29:35thinking as a teenager. You kind of do, but you're at
- 29:37school and you just follow the rules.
- 29:39I. Mean, honestly, I am surprised
- 29:42more women aren't angry A I'm seeing online really is I see I
- 29:46see these alleged angry, angry young women.
- 29:49But increasingly I'm seeing women who weren't angry young
- 29:52women who were creating content about, you know, quite gentle
- 29:57content about maybe body image and you know, that kind of thing
- 30:01maybe was about as political as they've got.
- 30:03I am increasingly seeing these women getting absolutely
- 30:07outraged as more and more stuff comes up in the news with Liam
- 30:11me to Epstein files, this rape Academy thing, you know, all of
- 30:15this. I'm seeing women who were not
- 30:17angry young women becoming being radicalized.
- 30:19I guess these articles would say and they don't have green hair
- 30:23and piercings. They are, they are
- 30:26conventionally attractive, should I say normal women.
- 30:29You know what I mean? Mainstream.
- 30:30Yeah. What you.
- 30:31Well, yeah, what they would call as mainstream.
- 30:33They're not on this alternative side.
- 30:34And yeah, to be honest, I am. I am surprised women between 18
- 30:40and 30 haven't rioted and burned the place down.
- 30:44Yeah, the whole marching thing I think is well does not helped by
- 30:48new government policies and stuff.
- 30:50But you know, we definitely took to the streets.
- 30:52And I feel like we now live in a world where we take to Twitter
- 30:55or maybe not Twitter anymore, but you know, like that's we
- 30:57take to TikTok. We don't actually go out and be
- 31:01angry. But then again, when we have
- 31:03seen, you know, people not even getting angry, just peacefully
- 31:08demonstrating or peacefully after vigil for, you know, a
- 31:11woman who was murdered by a who was known to be a creep, you
- 31:17know, and they got harassed and and, you know, like, well, yeah,
- 31:21harassed is as a polite way of saying it.
- 31:23People don't want to take the streets.
- 31:25So what can we do? Well, what we can do is create
- 31:27content on TikTok and create content on Instagram.
- 31:29So I suppose that is the new that we took to the streets.
- 31:32Now there is a feeling of. Take to the Internet.
- 31:36Yeah, disempowered to take to the streets.
- 31:38So let's take to the Internet. And yeah, it's, it's scary
- 31:42times. And yeah, I don't have green
- 31:44hair and neither do you. Although I did say just before
- 31:46we came live sometimes in the summer and it's going swimming
- 31:49pools. My hair does go green.
- 31:51Yeah, and, and mine goes purple when I use too much tinting
- 31:55shampoo that's supposed to knock the yellow out.
- 31:56So I have been known to dye it pink occasionally.
- 31:59I. Have got a nose?
- 31:59My husband likes it when I dye it pink because he can spot me
- 32:02in supermarkets apparently. I know, I think some reasoning.
- 32:05Lots of lots to. Finish off I think I would say
- 32:09if the angry young women do decide to take to the streets
- 32:12and burn it all down, I'm fairly certain that there's plenty of
- 32:15angry old women who would be right there with them to
- 32:17support. 100%. Because changing it up a bit, I
- 32:25want to talk about Stella McCartney and her new
- 32:29collaboration with H&M. So it comes out today, the day
- 32:34the podcast comes out. So I haven't actually seen like
- 32:38real life response, you know, because it hasn't hit the shops,
- 32:43but it has divided the Internet that I have seen because.
- 32:47So Stella McCartney obviously is a fashion designer.
- 32:51She first did her, she has done a collaboration with HR #4 in
- 32:542005 and this is her return to it.
- 32:56It was hugely successful last time.
- 32:59Stella is obviously known as an absolute sustainable eco ethical
- 33:05designer. Her whole ethos and brand is
- 33:09built on that and and she has teamed up with a fast fashion
- 33:14brand which is H and they're expecting record-breaking sales.
- 33:18It's expected to sell out immediately.
- 33:21It's apparently the cool girl edit.
- 33:23It's slogan tease and it's beaded.
- 33:26It's a beaded Cape. I think there's snakeskin
- 33:29looking animal print. It's very kind of cool girl
- 33:33Indie sleaze meats Ibiza in my opinion.
- 33:37Don't quote me because I haven't seen it all.
- 33:38It's made out of recycled content and organic cottons, but
- 33:43it feels a bit weird. Did it feel well in 2005?
- 33:48I don't think we talked about fast fashion in the same way in
- 33:502005 as we do now. You know she in didn't exist.
- 33:55PrettyLittleThing and Boohoo didn't exist.
- 33:57Obviously there was ASOS and Primark and things, but they,
- 34:02you know, the fast fashion as we know today wasn't, didn't exist
- 34:05in 2005. So it feels a bit of an odd
- 34:09collab, but so I do have some notes today.
- 34:12I don't always have notes, but today I do.
- 34:14H&M have said that as part of the collaboration, we have
- 34:18introduced a new insights board. And this is going to be, this is
- 34:23bringing together different voices and perspectives to
- 34:26create a space for curiosity and listening because we want to
- 34:31influence change. And we're aware of like animal
- 34:35welfare issues and, and you know, we're, we are becoming
- 34:38more sustainable and we and we have argued.
- 34:41Like none of those words actually mean anything.
- 34:44Well, that the next thing I've written on my book is Queen
- 34:46washing question mark, which is basically when words are said
- 34:49but don't really mean anything, you know, are they going to
- 34:52create actual change? Are they going to, you know,
- 34:55look at human rights? Are they going to meet their
- 34:58their their targets? And they say they're reducing
- 35:01emissions. It's a conscious collection,
- 35:03recycling some elder recycling bins in store.
- 35:07But here's the thing. In 2022, which was only four
- 35:12years ago, let's do the maths. Then there was a bit of a
- 35:15greenwashing scandal with H&M. Basically, they introduced
- 35:19sustainability scores onto their products, but there was an
- 35:22investigation by courts who said these scorecards weren't
- 35:28accurate. Quote.
- 35:30The quote was these scorecards were not just inaccurate, they
- 35:34were deceptive and some garments had higher environmental impact
- 35:38on them than standard counterparts in the shop and
- 35:43they were sued. So that's only four years ago.
- 35:46Since then, they have created more targets that they're going
- 35:50to reach by 20-30, but there's not a lot out there on how
- 35:54they're really doing no with not from an external person looking
- 35:59into it perspective, all we have is what they say and The thing
- 36:03is about fast fashion is can it ever be truly sustainable
- 36:08because the model is fast. Something is trending, whether
- 36:13it was on TikTok or on the red carpet or whatever.
- 36:15We need to get it. We need to get it in quick.
- 36:17And they do that, not just them, all these companies times
- 36:21hundreds. And so there's so much product,
- 36:25more product than we need, more product that van can be sold.
- 36:29So what's its end of life like? What's the waste like on these
- 36:33products? So yes, there's recycling bins
- 36:36and yes, there's, you know, recycled cotton or ethical
- 36:39cotton, and there's some recycled polyester.
- 36:42But it's still. Yeah.
- 36:44But it's like these are all small things when the the big
- 36:47issue is fast fashion as a whole.
- 36:49Yeah, so the big issue is the first R which is reduce.
- 36:53Reduce, we guess. Good point.
- 36:54Reduce. So what I'd love to talk about,
- 36:56because there's a couple of things to talk about here.
- 36:58Obviously we can talk about fast fashion in a bit because we've
- 37:01talked about it before actually, but we can talk about it again
- 37:03around, you know, it does create affordable clothing for people.
- 37:07So there's that bit. But I think first let's just
- 37:10talk about the kind of the the paradox I feel of the designer
- 37:15that's most known for sustainability teaming up with
- 37:19not the worst fast fashion brand on the High Street or in the
- 37:23world, but fast fashion nonetheless does not feel a bit
- 37:27odd to you. Thoughts.
- 37:28So my first thought is as a fashion designer, do you
- 37:31automatically put yourself out of that ethical sustainability
- 37:35thing because you're always trying to sell products, sell
- 37:38things to people, you're trying to sell a product.
- 37:40So you don't want people to just buy one and then never buy from
- 37:43you again. You them to keep buying for you
- 37:45when you're producing seasonal collections.
- 37:47So there is, there's kind of an issue like right behind that
- 37:50right in there. But I think taking on the entire
- 37:52fashion industry might be a little bit beyond the scope of
- 37:57life. We've got the patriarchy to deal
- 37:59with first. Maybe we'll, we'll maybe we'll
- 38:01move on to the to the fashion industry halfway through.
- 38:04So, yeah, could can you ever justifiably like say sustainable
- 38:08like that? But working with H&M, I am
- 38:10interested because obviously we don't know what the kind of
- 38:13terms of the deal are in the background.
- 38:15No. Was there some kind of
- 38:17discussion with her where she was like, OK, yeah, I'll do
- 38:20another collection with you because it sold so well last
- 38:22time. But you know, is she then
- 38:24responsible for making them put this board in place, which is
- 38:27going to do all the the green washing and it's currently
- 38:31investing in large brushes and pots of green paint.
- 38:34Or do you know what I mean? We don't know.
- 38:37Has she has she done this deal on a thing that could maybe make
- 38:42some progress? And the other thing is, is, is I
- 38:45guess I always have this kind of feeling when things like this
- 38:48happen that sometimes any progress is good progress.
- 38:53So obviously you don't want them to lie, but if they've got, if
- 38:57it's a fast fashion company that's now having any kind of
- 39:03awareness of the environmental impact of what they're producing
- 39:07and making any effort to reduce that environmental impact,
- 39:11surely that's better than them not making any effort to reduce
- 39:15that impact. Well, I think they are making
- 39:18some effort because they all have to make some effort because
- 39:23laws and rules, regulations have been put into place.
- 39:26So that's happening. My fear is almost the opposite
- 39:30of that, which is like a tick box exercise.
- 39:34Well, we've got this eco bit over here and, and actually we
- 39:37don't need to think about it that much because it's going to
- 39:39sell out in 24 hours. So we have to worry about that
- 39:42for another year until we do another collection.
- 39:44And it's almost like we've done our bit because I doubt,
- 39:47obviously I was, I have seen the contracts either, you know, one
- 39:51person doesn't have the power to change an entire company's
- 39:54ethics and sustainability pledges because I mean, she
- 39:58would if she became the CEO or the main designer or something.
- 40:03But she's collaborating on a collection.
- 40:05So I worry that it's like, yeah, well, so it's so next time
- 40:08someone picks them up or the next company that that does
- 40:12something similar, they go, oh, yeah.
- 40:13But we did this collection with Stella.
- 40:16It had, it had ethical cotton in it, you know.
- 40:18So it's kind of like, yes, it's good, but I, I I just, I feel
- 40:24protagonistic. Yeah.
- 40:25Because she had done something with somebody else or, you know,
- 40:28I don't know. Well, that's the thing, isn't
- 40:31it? Or an affordable range for set
- 40:33like herself. Yeah, there's a lot of brand
- 40:38collapse of designer collabs. I mean, they've done, obviously
- 40:41H&M have done them before. They did one Karl Lagerfeld, for
- 40:44example, and it just sold out instantly.
- 40:46So I think if that's the model, they know it's going to work and
- 40:49they're going to make a load of money on Friday.
- 40:52From H and Ms. perspective, it's like happy days.
- 40:55I mean, they might get some positive press about
- 40:56sustainability. Yeah.
- 40:58Yeah, I do. I do feel a bit like this.
- 41:00It goes into those kind of luxury beliefs again, doesn't
- 41:03it? Like we were talking about a
- 41:04minute ago that it's great. You know, Stella McCartney gets
- 41:07to be an ethical designer and she can release a collection
- 41:11every year or every season, sorry and say this is ethical,
- 41:15this is recycled everything's, but it will be limited pieces
- 41:18and it will be very expensive. Whereas not everybody will have
- 41:24the luxury of buying those pieces from Stella McCartney and
- 41:27they might like her designs and then be looking to replicate
- 41:30that from cheaper fashion. So maybe a collaboration with
- 41:34H&M would give them a way to do that kind of outside of the
- 41:37ethical considerations. But is having those ethical?
- 41:40I feel like there's levels. What's the so you have the the
- 41:46luxury to think about whether your clothes are even ethical or
- 41:50not. Absolutely.
- 41:53If you are rich enough to buy Stella McCartney, but I don't
- 41:57think that then exempts you from overconsumption.
- 42:01I think there's kind of level, so like level 1, if you have
- 42:04that privilege to think about whether your clothes are coming
- 42:07from an ethical designer, then that's fantastic.
- 42:09But that doesn't exempt you from overconsumption.
- 42:12So you could buy, if you if you are buying, you know, thousands
- 42:15of pieces of clothing and half of it's going to landfill.
- 42:18It doesn't matter whether it came, whether it came from
- 42:20Stella McCartney's collection and is all made from ethical
- 42:22called cotton and recycled materials.
- 42:24If you are then contributing to wastefulness.
- 42:27So it's great that you've got that kind of level of privilege.
- 42:30Then level 2 will be that you know, you can't afford to be
- 42:33buying these clothes that come from ethical designers and
- 42:37Stella McCartney, but you do still have a choice about
- 42:39overconsumption. If your your clothes can come
- 42:42from Primark. I'm going to say that this comes
- 42:44from Primark while we're here, but your clothes can come from
- 42:47Primark or fast fashion in anything.
- 42:49But if you are still wearing it 20 years later or you're buying
- 42:53thoughtfully buying pieces or even buying those pieces second
- 42:56hand, then you may actually be contributing less to the ethical
- 43:02issues around fast fashion than somebody who is at level 1 and
- 43:06going last. Well, it's fine because my
- 43:08entire wardrobe is ethical cotton.
- 43:10So it's the, I do think we have to remember those 3RS reduce,
- 43:13reuse, recycle and say, yeah, you don't get to ignore the
- 43:17first R just because everything you buy is reused or recycled.
- 43:21How do you, what do you think about that?
- 43:23Because I know that you're very much a vintage and charity shop
- 43:27person, which I I have been in the past, but energy levels and
- 43:32stuff have mean I haven't done a good charity shop sweep in
- 43:35years. Again, I think we've discussed
- 43:37before that having that time and ability is a bit of a privilege
- 43:40as well because it takes a hunt for charity shops.
- 43:43I also see content creators doing a second hat charity shop
- 43:48hauls on TikTok and they've bought masses and they're doing
- 43:52them every single day. And I think, well, whilst you're
- 43:55not spending huge amounts of money, you're buying a lot so
- 43:58you're still over consuming. I have tasked myself to only
- 44:02spend £40 a month on myself from a kind of fashion perspective,
- 44:06you know, the stuff I basically don't need and I'm overspent.
- 44:11This month. I'm gonna go.
- 44:12I'll do the post on Friday. I have bought more because I
- 44:16went on vintage, which is the problem with vintage, you end up
- 44:18buying more because you're sitting there and you're
- 44:20scrolling. So you're still over consuming.
- 44:23But what? By setting myself this budget, I
- 44:25have stopped going to a charity shop and just buying it because
- 44:28it's there and it's cool and it's cheap.
- 44:30I've now gone, yeah, it's nice, but I don't need that.
- 44:33And what's then happened is I've gone in, I've bought 2 belts
- 44:37this month. Wait, you see them?
- 44:39They're amazing. And I've gone my God, that belt
- 44:43is like iconic in 1980s designer, you know, and it's and
- 44:48it's amazing. And whereas historically I'd
- 44:51have bought like all loads of stuff, loads and loads of stuff
- 44:53just because it was there and because it was nice, whereas now
- 44:56I'm going, it has to be really good.
- 44:58So I think you can back to your question, you can over consume
- 45:02second hand as well. So overconsumption is definitely
- 45:06a really important thing and something that I've always had a
- 45:10problem with because I love my fashion.
- 45:12So I used to when I was in my 30s, twenties, 30s, I was, I
- 45:16mean, that's what I did spend money on fashion that literally.
- 45:19But the good news is, is I still wear some of it at 53.
- 45:22I did have TikTok this week of handbags that I had from the 90s
- 45:26from Accessorize that used to work because I kept all my
- 45:29favourites and everyone's like, Oh my God, Oh my God, they're
- 45:31amazing. But then one person's gone and
- 45:33gone. Why have you kept them all?
- 45:34How can you have kept them all? And it's like, because I keep
- 45:38things even that as a concept people, because we're just quite
- 45:42disposable, aren't we? Whether it be landfill.
- 45:45I mean, obviously you can give things to chat shop and you can
- 45:47give things to flippery and you can sell, sell your stuff.
- 45:50You know, you can do all that. But the point is if you love it,
- 45:52keep it, you know, like look after it.
- 45:54That seems to be. Like I do, I do have some things
- 45:58tucked away, I think in like the backs of cupboards.
- 46:00But like I've said before, when I was done, when I was diagnosed
- 46:03with cancer in like 2021 and then put on three stone really
- 46:06quickly, I had like I had a mental breakdown and sent like
- 46:0920 bags of stuff to to charity. So I am not wearing, I am not
- 46:14wearing a lot of those old clothes anymore on the basis
- 46:17that present me hates old me for having a breakdown and.
- 46:21Sending them all to the. Charity shop in a fit of a fit
- 46:24of pique where I was like no none of it fits anymore and just
- 46:28had to throw everything away but.
- 46:31For me, there's I. Was and before that I was
- 46:33though. Yeah, but I have to recognize I
- 46:35have privilege because I live in a house where there is room, you
- 46:38know, I have a spare room. Not everybody has a spare room.
- 46:41The spare room is also my dressing room.
- 46:42All my wardrobes are in there. I mean, to be fair, I do need to
- 46:45assess it because I can't kind of get in the wardrobe right
- 46:49now. So I do need to have a clear
- 46:50out. But, you know, I have bags in
- 46:54tissue paper under the under the spare bed in a box, you know,
- 46:57but not everybody has that. So there's privilege.
- 46:59Even that's much better than I do, where I just like bung it in
- 47:02a bag and pull it out like a wrinkled rag.
- 47:04I like the tissue paper. Yeah, I do.
- 47:06Try and look after it, but there's privilege there in that
- 47:09isn't there? So I think that's the other
- 47:11argument about fast fashion as a as a whole, as we've, we've
- 47:14talked about it before, but you know, people that say, well,
- 47:16just buy second hand. Well, buying second hand takes
- 47:20time. And if you need warm clothes and
- 47:24you go to a charity shop, you need to find warm clothes that
- 47:27fit you, that are in, you know, in budget that you want to wear.
- 47:30And then my not even be anything in the charity shop when you go
- 47:33there. So what you gotta go 5 charity
- 47:35shops and that takes time, doesn't it?
- 47:37Energy. But even on vintage, there's a
- 47:39top I'm watching at the moment by a brand that my husband used
- 47:42to love in the in the early noughties and it's really cool
- 47:45top. It's only they sent me an offer.
- 47:46It's only 5 lbs but there's vintage fees that's £6 plus
- 47:50there's postage, just £10. And I wrote to her and said, oh,
- 47:53it looks quite small. Can you, you know, is it, what
- 47:57size is it? Is it an 8 or A10, you know, and
- 47:59what are the measurements and stuff?
- 48:00And it was a bit like, oh, it's only a fiver to meet you back at
- 48:03me. And it's like, yeah, but that's
- 48:0410 lbs. And whilst I might be able to
- 48:07afford £10, not everybody can afford 10.
- 48:11And I still don't want to buy something that then doesn't.
- 48:13Fit, well, this is it. So say I spend £10 because it's
- 48:16not, it's not the most money in the world, but it's still 10
- 48:18lbs. Then I'm left with the product
- 48:21that I don't want that doesn't fit.
- 48:23So then I've got to sell it on vintage and it'll probably sit
- 48:26in, you know, she's had it on for seven months.
- 48:27It will sit in my spare room for seven months.
- 48:30And actually, so again, it's easy to say we'll just buy on
- 48:33vintage. It's, you know, it's second hand
- 48:35we, you know, recycle is good, but it still costs money and
- 48:39takes time and you can be wasteful.
- 48:41And at least you can try stuff on and send it back if you order
- 48:44from the fast fashion places, if you order new stuff, which is I
- 48:47think so that that is an aspect of fast fashion as well as the
- 48:51halls and the returns policies and things like that.
- 48:54So recently I noted that Asos have introduced a fee for
- 48:58returns and also you won't be able to renew your Asos premium
- 49:04membership where you get like next day delivery and stuff if
- 49:07you return. And I saw people complaining
- 49:09about this was amazing. But it was the percentage is if
- 49:11you return over like 80% of what you've bought in a year.
- 49:15And considering the fact that they've bought this in, that
- 49:18must be there must be a high percentage of people who are
- 49:20returning over 80% of what they've purchased from ASOS in a
- 49:24year, which is a really high percentage, I think.
- 49:27And considering the the money, time and effort it takes for
- 49:31them to put stuff back into sale, we all know that quite
- 49:34often things don't go back into sale, which is when things end
- 49:37up in landfill. So is that an ethical policy or
- 49:42a greedy? Policy.
- 49:43Well, I think it's partly because of all the influencer
- 49:45halls. I mean, you see, try a source,
- 49:48try ONS. Well, I see them on TikTok all
- 49:50the time and they say they're sending them back or they're
- 49:53sending some of them back and they're obviously not keeping
- 49:55everything because they totally can afford to keep everything.
- 49:58So I kind of get it, but I'm in between sizes.
- 50:02I don't know what that's going to look like on me.
- 50:04We don't have the High Street anymore really, do we?
- 50:08And in fact, the Primark and H&M and Zara are probably the only
- 50:11kind of fashion, you know, young fashion as well, shops on the
- 50:15High Street. ASOS is online.
- 50:17Well, I want to try them on. I want to feel the fabric.
- 50:20I want to see if it fits me. So the fact that I could be
- 50:22penalized for sending things back, back to the whole sizing
- 50:27and just sizing in general, well, if you all sorted out your
- 50:29sizing, you won't have to send it all back, would we?
- 50:32And sometimes it's like, well, I like both of those tops, but I
- 50:37can only keep one, but I'd like to try them both on, which is
- 50:40what you'd do in a shop, wouldn't you?
- 50:41So to penalize somebody, you know, it feels wrong.
- 50:45But then I get crossed with any company because there's not even
- 50:47just fast fashion companies, companies and that aren't what
- 50:50aren't fashion at all. And they're like, yeah, you
- 50:52know, if you change your mind, it costs £5 to send it back.
- 50:55And it's like, but I can only buy it online.
- 50:58What if I don't like it? What if it's too big?
- 50:59What like, I think that's naughty.
- 51:01I think that's greedy. I think it is we built into the
- 51:03model. Can't remember there was some
- 51:05kind of some kind of rule about refunding postage costs.
- 51:08I don't think you're supposed to do it.
- 51:10Yeah, because, but I think you have to specifically ask for it
- 51:13because I had a row with, I had a row with Apricot a couple of
- 51:17years ago, but nevermind, it's not relevant now.
- 51:19I did get quite angry about it and start sending them very
- 51:22snotty emails because they kept my 3 LB delivery and all of all
- 51:25of their things on their website had different returns policies
- 51:27and stuff. Well, I don't think you're
- 51:29supposed to charge. I thought the Lord you have to
- 51:34have to refund everything. Instant selling rules.
- 51:37Yes, yeah, this is selling rules, guys.
- 51:39Go and have a look. Yeah, I, I 80% is high though,
- 51:42right? I mean, if you bought 2 sizes of
- 51:45every single thing you purchased and sent one back, you'd still
- 51:48only be on 50%. Yeah, but is, is the is 80%
- 51:52because it's all crap. Yeah.
- 51:54Again, that's a very good point that if you know when it turns
- 51:56up and it looks amazing online and then you go.
- 51:59This is made from paper. You know, 80% is high though,
- 52:02isn't it? But but then there's quite a few
- 52:04other like collabs. So Victoria Beckham has just
- 52:07done a collaboration with Gap and I've been seeing people
- 52:10reviewing that online. I feel like I haven't heard of
- 52:13GAP for. Years.
- 52:14Well, I know. And yeah, I well, I'm now going
- 52:17to sing it back to overconsumption.
- 52:18I bought a really cool Y2K Gap jacket on vintage last week.
- 52:21It's still for a ride on vintage.
- 52:23Yeah, on vintage. And I was like, cool, because
- 52:26that's so retro. And then, you know, and my
- 52:28daughter for Christmas wanted one of those, you know how in
- 52:31the like, Y2K, everyone had a Gap sweatshirt with Gap in big.
- 52:36Yeah, she wanted one of them for Christmas.
- 52:38And I was like, gosh, wow, Is that now classed as, like,
- 52:40vintage and, you know, retro and cool.
- 52:42Anyway, So I was like thinking they were like a thing of the
- 52:45past. And then Victoria Beckham's done
- 52:47a collab with them and I'm like, they still exist.
- 52:50And what I've seen is, is it's actually seems like a really
- 52:55good collaboration from a design perspective because she's really
- 52:58minimal and quite structured and Gap are like just denims and
- 53:03kind of stone like beige colour caught, you know, canvas jacket.
- 53:08I would think of them as preppy, yeah.
- 53:10And so the two, from what I've seen, there's like a trench
- 53:13coat, there's like a pair of jeans, the boxy white tee, it's
- 53:15very Gap and very Victoria Beckham.
- 53:17So it feels like bingo, you know, well done.
- 53:21But then it's like, does Victoria Beckham need to do a
- 53:24Gap collaboration? But then again, having seen her
- 53:27documentary, the fashion line struggles, but her makeup, she's
- 53:31like making an absolute fortune from from the beauty brand.
- 53:34So it's a bit like, why I always think, why are you
- 53:37collaborating? What's the motivation here?
- 53:41So I guess it doesn't. It's not always about money
- 53:43though, is it, you know? I don't know.
- 53:46I suppose access to more people, maybe entry level in as you
- 53:50said, yeah. So what how do you feel about
- 53:52like collaborations in general? I mean, I, I have a dress which
- 53:55actually a friend sent me, which I absolutely adore, which was
- 53:59from the Vampire's Wife collaboration with H and MA few
- 54:03years ago, which was which was absolutely gorgeous.
- 54:06How do you feel about collaborations in general?
- 54:08I mean, you're slightly more fashiony than me.
- 54:11I think I love my clothes and stuff, but you're you're always
- 54:13like, oh, this brand did this, this brand did this.
- 54:15And I'm like, oh, I've been. I wasn't.
- 54:17I wasn't. I wasn't paying attention.
- 54:19I am a fucking girl. Well, Kate Moss in the 90s and
- 54:22her top shot collaboration was absolutely iconic.
- 54:26So it's been going on, you know, and obviously, you know, further
- 54:30further back than that. I think historically I've been
- 54:33all over it. I think, I think I said at the
- 54:35beginning when Stella did her collaboration 2005, I don't
- 54:39think anybody was over analyzing everything.
- 54:42I think obviously this Hello, we've got a podcast where we
- 54:45overanalyze everything. But it's careful.
- 54:47This is kind of what we, you and I, but also the entire Internet
- 54:51does now. So I think historically people
- 54:54there were collaborations and nobody really cared, either
- 54:56bought them or they ignored it. Whereas now everyone has to have
- 54:59an opinion. And I think a lot of people say.
- 55:01Did they actually? Design it, You know, when it
- 55:03comes to like, design A perfume at Britney's perfume, did she
- 55:06actually create that perfume or or not?
- 55:10I just know her name on it. Yeah.
- 55:12I think there's other, you know, people come out of I Love
- 55:14Ireland and then I have a collaboration with, I don't
- 55:17know, PLT do they quite? Often things like yeah, like and
- 55:21vary and things like that. Quite often will do a
- 55:23collaboration with the reality TV stars, yeah.
- 55:25But I have to be careful because I do get sucked in.
- 55:28So Karl Lagerfeld, I think it was Karl Lagerfeld.
- 55:31It might have been somebody else did a collaboration with HM and
- 55:34there were some pieces and I was like, I don't want this, I'm not
- 55:37into this, not having it. And then it was obviously
- 55:39selling really fast. And I'm like, I really want that
- 55:42necklace, but I didn't buy it because it was so, but I might
- 55:45have done. But there's also, I tell you
- 55:47what also happens in his collaborations.
- 55:49They sell out and then they end up on eBay for three times the
- 55:51price 10 minutes later. So that's happening a lot as
- 55:56well, which it's just like is a bit sad, isn't it?
- 55:58But it's kind of not reusing now.
- 56:00It's profiteering. So we will wait to see if we
- 56:03like it. There is a body, body.
- 56:07What do you call it? A body, you know, like a body
- 56:09suit, body suit with Stella written on it, which would be
- 56:13cool if were called Stella. And it's this kind of beaded bra
- 56:18with tassel like tassely but which to be fair, looks amazing
- 56:22and I don't think I'd wear it. I'm not sure if you'd wear it,
- 56:25but if we were like 20 and I mean.
- 56:27That we probably my issue with things is not whether I would
- 56:29wear them, it's where I would wear them.
- 56:31I think 30 like like this maybe does not suit my life when my
- 56:37life is mostly coming here to talk to you and walking the dogs
- 56:40around the block, some of it in my pajama really like.
- 56:44This is red, asymmetrical off the off the, you know, like one
- 56:47shoulder showing like little, this dress tiny, really, really
- 56:50short. It's like, again, Ibiza
- 56:52clubbing, you know, if you, you know, let's face it, there will
- 56:55be lots of 20 somethings or maybe 30 somethings that will
- 56:59buy it and it looks amazing. But it's just I'll watch this
- 57:03space to see if there's any backlash.
- 57:05Yeah. So if you love fashion, it's
- 57:08very difficult to then talk about that, that the reduced
- 57:14part of it, because part of fashion is you just want to try
- 57:17new things and create new looks and stuff like that.
- 57:20You have to get adventurous with your own wardrobe.
- 57:21But you know, sometimes that belt would just be perfect.
- 57:25I know and and taking ethics and slave labor and all that stuff,
- 57:30put that that to the side and I'm not putting it to the side
- 57:32because it's not relevant, but just, you know, putting that to
- 57:34the side. Fashion is it's not is very
- 57:38female focused. I know men have fashion too.
- 57:40Before anyone comes at me, but again, it's almost seen as
- 57:44frivolous and it's a bit like boy bands and teenage girls.
- 57:49You know it's frivolous, but actually anything women are into
- 57:52is frivolous frivolous and that is equals fashion and I guess
- 57:56tailoring and suits and things that might be men.
- 57:59Well, that's that's, that's serious and structural and yes,
- 58:04important. Exactly.
- 58:05So I do think there's, there's, I mean, I said fast fashion
- 58:08aside, there is this rhetoric that we are all just.
- 58:12Silly, I have people. Rocking up and telling me I am
- 58:15silly and unfeminist and you know, anti women and dahara
- 58:21because I get really excited about I don't have a piece of
- 58:25fashion and I'm like. Yeah, I love that, where people
- 58:28are like, Oh my God, you're so vacuous, don't you have anything
- 58:30more important to worry about? And you go yes, like I put.
- 58:33Every single thing I think about in a day on the Internet,
- 58:35actually, maybe I do, but also I think I don't only think about
- 58:39what I'm wearing. Like I do have other thoughts in
- 58:41my head, you know, parenting, looking after my parents, you
- 58:45know, as well as the freaking state of the world.
- 58:48But of course. Sometimes maybe it's nice to
- 58:51just go, oh, what top shall I wear?
- 58:53Well, I smash the Patriot. Maybe not a body suit with
- 58:56Stella written on it though. Or still like Stella the beer.
- 59:00That was just reminded me of though as well.
- 59:02That's the collaboration we want to see.
- 59:04Stella And on that though, we will see what happens.
- 59:10Thank you for joining us for another roundup of midlife chat,
- 59:13hot takes, and occasional moaning.
- 59:15Well, quite a bit of moaning. Make sure you hit subscribe so
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- 59:36Have a great weekend everyone, and make sure you find time for
- 59:38yourself. You deserve it.