Latest / Midlife Glow Up: Simplifying Fitness, Nutrition and Healthy Habits for Women over 40 / 23. Stop Waiting for Permission: A Message for Women Over 40

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23. Stop Waiting for Permission: A Message for Women Over 40 · Midlife Glow Up: Simplifying Fitness, Nutrition and Healthy Habits for Women over 40

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Remember permission slips from elementary school?
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Your teacher would send one home, like for a field trip or a special event.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this is back before we emailed everything, did everything electronically.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: You'd have to take home a little piece of paper crumpled up in your backpack, and your parent would sign it.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that signature meant that you were allowed to go, that you had permission.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I've noticed about women in midlife.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: We are still waiting for someone to give us permission.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Permission to take care of ourselves, to prioritize ourselves, to want more for ourselves.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: But newsflash, nobody is going to sign that permission slip for you.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: So today I'm going to give you five permission slips, and I want you to sign them for yourself.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Midlife Flow Up Podcast, where we simplify fitness, nutrition, and healthy habits for women over 40.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Joan Dandano, your midlife health and wellness coach.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are ready to feel strong, consistent, and confident in this season of life, you're in the right place, my friend.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're talking about permission.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because so many of the women I work with are capable, accomplished, strong women who have spent decades taking care of everyone and everything else besides themselves.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: And they're still waiting for someone to tell them it's okay to finally take care of themselves.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: So today I'm handing you five permission slips, and all you have to do is sign them.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Permission slip number one.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: You have permission to invest in yourself.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: All right, this is our first permission slip.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: You have permission to invest time, money, energy, attention in yourself.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to earn the right to take care of yourself.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to wait until everybody else is taken care of first.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to justify why you want to take care of yourself.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: You already deserve this.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Your health, your strength, your confidence, they all matter.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not because of what you do for everyone else, just because you matter, period.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: I see this all the time with women who are hesitant to invest in coaching or even buy a gym membership or even just carve out time for themselves.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: They will spend money out the wazoo on their kids' sports, on their partner's hobbies, on their aging parents' needs without even batting an eye.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: But when it comes to themselves, immediately investment equals guilt.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: They think, is this selfish?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Should I really be spending money on myself?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Do I really need this?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I want you to hear: investing in your health is not selfish.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: It is actually essential.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: When you are stronger, healthier, more energized, then you show up better for everyone else in your life.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: But even if that wasn't true, even if taking care of yourself didn't benefit anybody else, you would still deserve it because you matter.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Your health matters, your well-being matters.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so today, you have permission, I give you permission to invest in yourself, whatever that means to you.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: So sign that permission slip.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Permission slip number two.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: You have permission to not be perfect.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: You can miss a workout and still be a successful human being.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can have a completely off week from nutrition and still make progress.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: You can show up imperfectly and still transform body and mind.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, imperfect consistency is the whole strategy.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: I talked about this last week on last week's episode, but it is worth repeating.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have not listened to last week, please, I implore you, go back and listen to progress over perfection, why that all or nothing mindset is really keeping you stuck.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Perfect doesn't exist.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Life by nature is messy and unpredictable and chaotic, and work is busy, and kids get sick, and you get tired and you get overwhelmed, and then there's travel and then there's company.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: The all or nothing mindset tells us that if we can't do it perfectly, then we just shouldn't do it at all.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that keeps us stuck.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the truth 80% consistency will change your life.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: You've all heard of Pareto's principle, 80-20 rule, right?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: So showing up twice a week when you planned for three workouts is still transformative.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Meal prepping some Sundays, but not others, that's still progress.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Doing 20 minutes of a workout in one week when you had planned to do 30 minutes, you're still going to get stronger from those 20 minutes.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to be perfect in order to create progress, to create momentum, but you do have to continue to show up.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I give you permission slip number two, your permission to be human, to be imperfect.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: So go ahead and sign that permission slip.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Permission slip number three, you have permission to take up space.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Prioritizing your health, again, is not selfish.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Taking time for yourself does not make you a bad mom, a bad wife, a bad employee, a bad daughter.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: It makes you a human being who needs care, just like everybody else does.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I see this especially with women in midlife who have spent decades making themselves small, making their needs small, making their asks small, making their presence small.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: They've been taught directly or indirectly that other people's needs come first.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so now they feel guilty for wanting 20 minutes to themselves to work out, or they feel guilty asking their partner to handle dinner so that they can menu plan for next week's meals, or they feel guilty themselves spending money on themselves instead of on the kids.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: But here's what I want you to know.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: When you make yourself small, you don't just hurt yourself.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: You model for your kids, especially your daughters, that women don't matter as much, that women's needs should come last.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that is not the legacy I want to leave.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I doubt it's the legacy you want to leave either.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to take up space.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to be bold.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: You're allowed to have needs.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: You're allowed to prioritize yourself.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Not because it makes you a better mom or wife or employee, though it does, but it's because you are a person and people matter.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I give you permission to take up space.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Sign that slip.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Permission slip number four.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: You have permission to want more for yourself.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to settle for it's fine.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to accept feeling tired or weak or frustrated just because you're getting older.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to want to feel stronger, more energized, more confident.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're allowed to want to go on that hike with your family without getting winded.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to feel good in your clothing.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're allowed to want to look in the mirror and feel proud of yourself.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Wanting more doesn't make you ungrateful for what you already have.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't make you vain and it doesn't make you shallow.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: It makes you human.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I hear this one a lot that I should just be grateful for what I have.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, gratitude for what you have is super important.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: But gratitude for what you have and wanting more are able to coexist.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can be grateful for the body that you have and also want to improve it and make it stronger.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can be grateful for your health and also want to improve it and make it more resilient.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: You can appreciate where you are today and still want to grow into something tomorrow.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Wanting more for yourself, wanting to feel better physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, wanting to feel stronger in your body, stronger in your mind, wanting to feel more confident.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: None of that is ungrateful.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's just self-growth.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I give you permission to want more for yourself.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: So sign that slip.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And number five, permission slip number five.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: You have permission to start right now.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Not when life slows down, not when you feel ready, not when the timing is perfect, but now.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is the one that keeps people stuck the longest.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'll start when work calms down or after the holidays or when the kids are less busy or when I'm not having to drive them around as much.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'll start when I feel more motivated.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth is that perfect time just doesn't exist.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Life is always going to be full.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: You will always be busy.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to look different in different seasons of life, but you will always be busy.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Work will always be demanding.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Your family will always need you.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And if you keep waiting for the perfect time, you will still be waiting a year from now.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Ready isn't a feeling that you get before you start something new.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Ready is a feeling that you get after you start.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: The women who transform are not the ones who waited until they felt ready.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: They are the ones who started unsure, busy, scared, uncertain.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: And they became ready through the process of showing up.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the real truth is you don't need permission from anybody to start.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to wait for the right time, but what you do need to do is make a decision.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: The decision is that you are worth it.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: So give yourself permission to start today.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: So those are your five permission slips.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna repeat them so that they really sink in.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, permission to invest in yourself.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Time, money, energy.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Permission to not be perfect, let go of striving for perfection and focus on progress instead.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Permission to take up space, to be bold and loud and present.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Permission to want more.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: It is not ungrateful to want to improve.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then finally, permission to start now.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Permission to start today.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody is going to sign these permission slips for you.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if these are novel to you, these ideas, then my guess is that your partner is probably not just going to come out one day and just be like, hey, it's okay if you prioritize yourself today or your kids.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: They're probably not just going to be all of a sudden like, hey, mom, you should probably take time out for your health.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: And your boss is probably not going to tell you, like, it's okay to set boundaries, which is why you have to give yourself permission.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: And here is what I've seen happen when women finally do give themselves permission.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Everything in their life changes, not just their physical bodies, even though those change too, but their confidence, their energy, their self-trust, the way they show up in the world changes.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: When you give yourself permission to matter, to take up space, to invest in yourself, you start showing up differently in every single area of your life.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: You stop apologizing for having needs.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: You stop making yourself small.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: You stop waiting for someone else to tell you that you're worth it because you already know that you are.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: I want to tell you what happens when you don't give yourself permission.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: When you keep waiting and you keep playing small and you keep putting yourself last and you keep telling yourself, oh, maybe someday, your body doesn't wait.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Every month that you wait, the gap between where you are and where you want to be gets wider.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And every year that you wait, it gets harder to get started.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying this to scare you, but I'm just saying this because it's true.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to look back and five years from now and wish that you had started today.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: I have seen time and time again women over 40 finally giving themselves permission, and their entire trajectory of their life has shifted.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: I had a woman who had been putting off strength training for years and years.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: She kept telling herself that she'd start, quote unquote, when life slowed down.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: But things never did slow down, and work continued to be busy, and her family continued to pull her in lots of different directions.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: But finally, she gave herself permission to carve out 30 minutes twice a week, even though life was busy.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And within a few weeks, she started to notice something shift, not just in her body, although she was getting stronger, but in her mindset.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so then it started to bleed over at work, setting boundaries at work.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: She started asking for more help at home.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: She started believing that she actually mattered.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you prioritize yourself, you prove to yourself that you are worth investing in.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then it changes how you show up everywhere else.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: I can think of another client.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: She comes to mind when I think of this like giving herself permission to just want more.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: So she had been telling herself for years and years that she should just be grateful for what she had.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that wanting to feel stronger and more confident and more energized was somehow not grateful.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: But once she gave herself permission to grow, everything shifted.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: So she started really prioritizing her nutrition and setting aside time to set herself up for success.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: So not only did the kids have a beautiful breakfast, full bellies full of a nice nourishing breakfast before they left the house, and they also had their beautifully packed lunches.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, dinner was planned out like a week in advance, but she started thinking about herself when it came to nutrition as well.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that allowed her to start actually fueling her body properly instead of just, you know, eating the leftover crumbs off her kid's plate and calling that enough, right?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: What no, what she noticed right away was her energy was through the roof.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: She felt amazing.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: And because she actually started fueling her body, she then lost weight because her body was not in starvation mode any longer.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was actually using the calories that she was taking in and using them properly to give her energy to get through her day.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: And she realized that wanting more for herself was actually the opposite of ungrateful.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: It actually made her intentional.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it actually is helping to create the best her so that she can be the best mom and the best wife and the best employee for everybody else.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: What matters about this conversation is more than just us.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's more than just our lives.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: If you have daughters or nieces or young women in your life that look up to you, what are you modeling to them?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Are you modeling that women put everyone else first and their own needs last?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Are you modeling that wanting time for yourself is selfish?
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: Are you modeling that women's health and strength just are sort of on the back burner to everybody else's needs?
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you modeling that women are allowed to take up space just like any other human?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: That women are allowed to invest in themselves, to prioritize their health, because the next generation is watching us.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so what you do matters more than what you say.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: What you do matters more than what you say.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: I want to speak directly to the woman who's been waiting for permission, whether you knew it or not, permission to invest in yourself, to prioritize your health, to take up space.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is it.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is your permission slip.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have been listening to the past few episodes and you're feeling that pull, like you're ready to take action, you're ready to stop waiting for the perfect time, and you're just ready to start making some progress, you're ready to invest in yourself, then I would love to invite you to take a look at the Midlife Flow Up, my signature eight-week group coaching program for women over 40.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: The program starts in just a few days.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you have at the time that this episode will be airing, you only have like two or three days left to lock in your spot for this round.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: The next round will come in fall of 2026.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if it's been on your mind that you need to get in control of your health and fitness, if you know deep down that you are ready to stop starting over and finally build something that lasts, this is your chance.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: The Midlife Glow Up is my eight-week signature group coaching program for women over 40.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Inside, you get to choose your track, fitness, nutrition, or hybrid.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then based on that, you get a clear plan to follow.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then you also have one-on-one check-ins with me throughout the eight weeks.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: You've got weekly coaching calls to get all your questions answered and to meet the amazing community of other women who are supporting you along the way.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to remind you that you are allowed to want this.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to invest in yourself.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to get the strategies and the systems and the support to help make you feel your best so that you can take what you learn, establish habits, and then continue them on repeat and literally change the trajectory of your life.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Click the links in the show notes to read all of the details.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if it feels aligned, I would absolutely love to have you join us.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Feel free to reach out on Instagram at Jones Fitzone, send me a DM if you want to talk through details, or feel free to email me as well.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I just want to remind you, you do not need anybody else's permission.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to give yourself permission.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: So sign the slip.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: I hope to see you inside.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening, my friend.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: Remember progress over perfection and consistency over intensity.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, keep growing, keep glowing, and bye for now.