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Lean In, Let Go, Leap Forward · The One Small Change Podcast

0:00
Welcome to the One Small Change. As always, I am thrilled that
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you're here to embark on this journey of exploration and transformation.
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And I'm glad you're sharing it with me. And I'm your host, Yvonne McCoy, and
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I bring almost 30 years of entrepreneurial experience and I have a
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passion for discovering growth through the power of seemingly small
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change. And this week we are talking to
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the amazing Heather Tucker and she's going to
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share something that sparked a remarkable transformation
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and growth either in her personal or her professional life.
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Heather, thank you so much for taking your time to come share with
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me and my. My audience. And so we're
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all curious to know what was the thing, what you do,
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why you do it, what was the change that made you do it and made
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you do it better than anybody else? Oh, Yvonne, I'm so happy to
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be here on your show. Thank you so much for having me. By the way,
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like, this is super exc. I love to be able to
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speak, express and share whatever wisdom that comes from my
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heart because you never know who this one conversation can impact.
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So. Hello, everyone in Yvonne's World. I'm Dr. Heather
1:11
Tucker and I work with entrepreneurs who want to increase
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their calm, their confidence and their cash flow so
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they can bring more of their ideal clients into their business,
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charge what they are, their value is, and
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actually create more time, money and emotional freedom so that they
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can be more present with their loved ones. Because that is
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something that is just so important. We have so
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much, only so much time, right? And how we utilize that
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time wisely to do our calling and live our
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purpose. It. And now is a time more than ever where people
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are really called to step into their full light
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and, and do their calling and do their will.
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Because, yeah, now's the time. Everything's going on in
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the world. We don't have to be crazy inside. And so
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technically, I would call myself a business and life harmony coach,
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coach and trainer. And it's just so
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beautiful to be able to be of service because I feel like
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our business is supposed to be have
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flow, is supposed to have freedom. It's supposed to have space, it's supposed to
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supposed to have that passion as we're
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living our calling. And a lot of times as entrepreneurs, we can
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operate with a heavy heart or overwhelmed mind and it
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does not have to be that way. Our greatest wealth is our
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peace of mind, body and soul. And your other question
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was what led me to this? So what led me to
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this? My background is actually at it. That's what my PhD is
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in and age 27, I got my
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PhD in information technology. 28,
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I got my dream job working for the army as a researcher.
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And a lot of times where we meet that epitome
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or equivalent of quote, unquote success from an
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external perspective, there was so much
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sadness and misery and uncertainty inside. Right?
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And I wanted to. It wasn't just me that was experiencing that. I was looking
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around my community and my world, and I saw the same thing.
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And I was like, there's something I'm supposed to do about this. What am
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I supposed to do? And it
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led me on the journey of coaching. Led me on the journey of coaching.
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And once I discovered coaching, I realized,
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why didn't they teach this in middle school? Why didn't they teach us in
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elementary school? Oh, my goodness, I would have had so much of a
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better life. But one of the messages that I want to
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share, that's something that's so important, is to know that
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we don't have to have a great past to have a great future. We get
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to recreate and restore ourselves each and every day. And
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what led me to this was even as I went into coaching,
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there was still stuff on the life side that was really confusing,
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that was really uncertain. And I recognized
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how one area of life, if it goes ignored or
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unresolved, will bleed into another area of life.
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And this is why I talk about life, harmony, how to create peace on
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all sides. So therefore, we just get to be who we are and
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enjoy this journey. Well, you, you've already hit
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on a whole bunch of things, okay?
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So one of the things that, that I think is so important and that
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I learned earlier on is
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you can't be a split personality. You can't be, you know, you can't
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compartmentalize. You know, this is my business. I'm going
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to be this way in my business, and I'm going to be this way in
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my life, right? And so one of the things that I say to
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people is when they find a strategy or they find a model that they really
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like, they should be able to use it both in their personal life and their
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business. And because the more you use it, the more you internalize it,
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the more it becomes part of you. So, you know, you talked about that harmony.
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We're kind of like a water bed. You know, that's a really old
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reference. You know, if you push it down one place, something happens someplace
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else. They're. They're totally interconnected.
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The other thing that I think you said was
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so many of us have made decisions in our
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life based on external things.
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And so I think you know what that means. You know, for me,
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it was, I was good at math, and I keep making all these decisions based
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on I'm good at math. So when I went to graduate school, I was like,
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I really want to do marketing, but I'm good at math. Right. So then I,
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you know, I graduated with my, my MBA in finance and accounting,
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ended up in a job that was perfect for, you know,
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that, But I didn't really like that. So I didn't really like the job
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either. You know, when you are, when you are following
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yourself, you have so much more
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energy because it's such a pleasure. And I, I just
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put, I'm not supposed to be doing this much talking because this is your interview,
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but you just happened to hit a spark that I was just really, I, I,
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One of the things that I just said is when you can let go of
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the exterior stuff and just be yourself, you attract the right kind
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of client and they start to say some of the really
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similar kinds of things. So anyway, so much about that,
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but you've hit on a lot of things. I think that a lot of us
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find ourselves in the position where we are where we think we
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should be, not where we want to be. Correct?
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Correct. First of all, thank you for sharing that, because so
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many people resonate with that. Right? Like, it is
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about following your soul plan. Right. When you
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follow your soul plan and you let that true freedom
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come from the inside out, then you enjoy what you're doing.
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That's exactly what happened to me when I went into it. Yeah, I'm great
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at computers, I'm great at technology, I'm great at all this, but it wasn't
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feeding my soul. And really,
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when we live from our soul purpose, our soul plan,
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it impacts every single area of life in a beautiful,
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positive way. So thank you for highlighting that. Can
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I ask you a personal question? One of the things that
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I found for myself was one of the reasons I think I was good
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at math is that it was very objective and not
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subjective and did not require any feelings. I mean,
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it was, it wasn't like, you know, one plus one was
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two and it made you cry.
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I mean, I, I know that sounds really weird. And so one of the things
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that has been like kind of a, a semi struggle for me
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is to really let my feelings out. And when you talk about,
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you know, that soul place or that inner place, a lot of us that have
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that kind of objective background are like, that's way too woo
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Woo. For me, and I think it just is, it's a matter
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of. For myself is
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being able to kind of trust my own gut feeling
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to know and go with the thing that feels right
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even if I can't quantify it, which is the way I typically
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look at things. I mean that doesn't mean that I, I don't take a look
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at things and, and you know, and
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evaluate them. But when I'm finished all that, I go,
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okay, here are two options. What's the one I really want to do.
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Well and, and. Well, I don't know what the qu. Let me hear the question.
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I was going to say something. Have you found that to be the same
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thing that you were really good at it or that people are really good
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at some things that are very objective and not
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subjective and so they don't. They've never had to really
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exercise their feelings or let them out. Of course.
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And actually it's so funny. I'm glad that you mentioned that
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because that is a big reason of the life harmony work that I
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do because a lot of us, especially when we are
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analytical or logical and we tend to
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operate. That's just how a lot of us were naturally
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raised to be. You know, I remember my mom
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would say put your feelings in your pocket and keep going. Like, don't worry about
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your feelings. Like, like, it's like. But the thing is, is that part about
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the water ball, the volleyball that you mentioned, or I call it a volleyball
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but if we don't pay attention to that side then it creates
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more pressure and over analyzing and overreaction on the mental
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side. And it's really about when they work together, the
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thoughts and the feelings, the mind and the heart, then
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it creates a beautiful synergy where it's not like
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one fighting against each other. It's like it actually creates
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wisdom. When we operate out of our wisdom,
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every step that we take is right. And so it's funny because yeah I didn't
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years ago I would have never even understood about energy or
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emotions or any of those things. A lot
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of times we put the blinders up for just things that happen in
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life that is also 100% normal and common.
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And my work is about really helping us
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be or bringing it back to more to feeling to
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being like that that allows like when we actually acknowledge
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our feelings and are in that I like to say
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emotional intelligence, emotional wisdom, mental and emotional wellness
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and harmony. It actually allows us to.
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What's the word? How can I say this? It
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allows us to even attract more of what we want
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because we know who we are. So. Right.
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So, so one of the things that I just wrote in a post and it
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kind of surprised me was, you know, one of the things I talk
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about is that we all have a unique power and, and
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we already have it. It's us, it's who we are. It's, it's,
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you know, it's what we're good at. It's the things that we did. Right. That
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we developed in our company. You know, it's like the recipe is different for
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each of us. Right, right. Things that I said is, one of the
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things that I found is since I've gotten really clear about my message and who
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I really want to serve, I have found
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that all the people that I'm talking to, all the potential clients
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that I'm talking to are saying, we love your energy. And
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I don't think that I feel like I've changed at all.
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What has happened, I think is that I have probably just
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felt freer to let it come out. Right?
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So now the people that I'm attracting are the people who love that energy.
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Huge, you know, energy. And for other people, I'm just too
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much. Yeah, you know what, it's
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great, it's. Actually really great
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filter because, you know, you hear on a regular basis,
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you're, you're so good at this. You're so good at this, you know,
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because you're being yourself. And I think that that's something,
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I don't know, I think that's something that, that we have never really
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been exposed to. I mean, I'm not, I, I gotta tell you, I'm not
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one of those people who go, the universe will bring this to you.
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I mean, that's a little bit, that's a little woo woo for me. But I
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do think that if you think about what it is that
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you want, then you, you recognize it better.
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I mean, you know, you may be getting the same opportunities that you
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had before, but you didn't recognize them, you know, and
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maybe that is whatever the woo woo part
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of it, but, but it works. So it is.
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You know, whereas when we're talking about the other side, where we're operating with our
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analytical, our, our mind, right. Our subjective part that
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you were saying, we end up operating with
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90 effort. My, one of my colleagues put it this way one
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time, 90% effort and sometimes maybe only
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10% energy. But when we shift
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that from operating from the amazingness of who we are, where
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you're talking about owning your uniqueness and your values, that includes Your
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thoughts, your feelings, those natural gifts and talents that we have,
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we end up operating with 90%
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energy and only 10% effort. So that
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is the thing that makes it why so much
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wiser to operate that way than continuing to
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do our overanalyzing and overthinking. And a lot of times people
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think that that's not common, but it is 100 common
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for a couple of reasons, and is totally 100
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changeable as well. Well, you know, my brain goes to.
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Because I'm good at math, right? It's kind of like it's the
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difference between one plus one. You know, I'll say two plus
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two and is four versus.
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Well, that's not a good example either. Let me try it again. How about three
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plus three is six, but when you put your energy
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and your analytical, it's more like three times three, and then it's
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nine. You get exponential growth because you're clicking on all
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cylinders and they're working together. They're not working against
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each other. I. I had a formula once. It was called. And I still
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love this. It was called you. Times change, times follow
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through equals success cubed. And. Yeah,
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yeah. And. And I use that when I was losing weight, like, when I was
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struggling, you know, to lose weight, it was like, okay,
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was it something I was doing? I needed to learn something.
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I needed a limiting belief. I needed to get. What was it about me
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that, you know, needed something. And then the change
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was what was I able to change or what wasn't I changing? Kind of
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what was. What was in there. And then the other piece was the follow through.
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Because nothing. Nothing works really well with
15:13
that thought. Follow through, right. And so what
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I found was the success that you gained was not just the
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weight loss, but your mindset and just, you know, on all
15:24
kinds of other things that happen. And I love that
15:27
formula. And my friend was like, as soon as I see success
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cubed, I'm like, this is math I'm not getting.
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But it is. You have. You know, it affects everything. It doesn't affect just one
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thing is the point to that, I think. And what happens is
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to. If we're not aware
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of the energy of things and also the feelings and emotion of
15:52
things, we can be able. We can get caught up in the emotional
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roller coaster. It's like, it goes like that. Like, all right, we're doing
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well. We're going up the hill. We're. We're growing. And then all of a sudden,
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something happened. Significant emotional event, but from
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ourselves, from our loved one, something. And there's this drop down in energy.
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All right, I'm gonna go ahead and keep going up the hill and you. And
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then it's like you have to drop. It drops down again. And as the more
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that we do this, we're in that bouncing back. You know, I remember
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one of the biggest times I'm just gonna bounce back, you know, that
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actually becomes harder to bounce back up. And
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so why not be able to have it where.
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Okay, I'm rising. I'm doing this easier. Oh, significant emotional
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event happens. Oh, my goodness. Oh, that's interesting. And still continue
16:39
to rise. So therefore, it's like not being
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blown away by the wind or the uncertainty that things
16:46
that happen, but actually going with the wind. And
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I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, I have two things that I want to
16:54
make sure that we talk about jumping on what
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you just said that for me, that not, you know,
17:01
not like having the ups and downs. Although I've often said I'm so resilient,
17:05
I haven't got the sense to stay down. But. But. But the
17:09
other part to that is when I took a course in
17:12
positive thinking, you know, it's like when something
17:16
happens, you have a choice. You can either go do your default like you
17:20
always did before, or you can be curious and say,
17:24
what can I learn from this? What. What can I take away from this? And
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that has been like, a huge
17:31
blessing for me in terms of controlling that roller
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coaster. But here's the thing that I want to talk to you about, because this
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is something that you said way at the beginning, and I didn't
17:42
hit on it. And that was the idea of calm
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versus chaos. And I think
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that. I think, all right, let me see how
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I can put this. As an entrepreneur, I think there's a
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difference between
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excitement and curiosity and unpredictability
18:05
and chaos. Does that make sense?
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Yeah. It doesn't mean that there are. There might not be some
18:13
chaos, but chaos to me means you're like, totally
18:17
without direction and being pulled in all kinds of different
18:20
directions. And, you know, you feel like you are
18:24
at the whim of the world. It
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can be like that, but it could
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also be something that just also can throw you off kilter.
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Meaning. How can I say that?
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So, for example, maybe, you know, you're in the calm or
18:44
something happens outside of your control. Significant
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emotional event, traumatic event happens with family member,
18:51
loved one, you, losses, like all of these different things can
18:55
cause us to easily be. If we're in this, this
18:58
maybe a normalcy of calm, it can go
19:02
into chaos. And there's a reason why that happens.
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And I think the biggest picture is to know that
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your body has a conscious and an unconscious to it. Your mind has a
19:13
conscious and an unconscious to it. Your heart has a conscious and
19:17
an unconscious to it. So it that automatic pattern,
19:21
a lot of times is in the unconscious, like, we could easily go to
19:24
the default. And what you had been talking about is
19:28
actually interrupting the pattern. Because it's
19:32
funny, a child raised, one of the things I had said
19:35
before, a child raised in chaos. Life can become
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chaos. We tend to normalize chaos. So it's
19:43
not even necessarily we attract what we
19:47
want. We really attract what we are.
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If there's some chaos that's happening that happened years ago, we
19:54
can sometimes repeat the pattern of that unconsciously until
19:58
we make the conscious choice to interrupt that pattern.
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And when there's nothing that's creating this turmoil or this
20:05
conflict inside, then nothing externally can impact
20:09
you. So then, you know, we talk about really
20:13
leaning into what's going on, letting go of what we need to let go
20:17
of so we can leap forward, because a lot of times we'll hold on. So
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when I was talking about that roller coaster, we can hold on even
20:24
unconsciously to the heaviness and the baggage
20:28
of that roller coaster as we're trying to move forward. So it's like,
20:31
okay, we're born. We have a beautiful backpack on, and
20:35
it's totally empty. Happy, baby. Yay. Okay, something happened.
20:39
We put some rocks in the backpack, and as we're going through life, these b.
20:43
These rocks keep getting added. But it's such an unconscious weight
20:49
that we don't even know is there. Right. And
20:53
it's funny because a lot of times after people experience
20:56
the work and stuff, they're like, I feel so much like, I had no idea.
21:00
We have no idea. The heaviness is sometimes we can carry, especially
21:03
as that resiliency, because I remember that was
21:07
the biggest thing. Okay, strong, super. Just go through force through. But
21:11
sometimes that can cause burnout, sometimes that can cause overwhelm and
21:14
uncertainty. But it's the part about the feeling. I just
21:18
want to revert back to this part about the feeling. Because that is the
21:22
part that is like a big
21:26
cave that people. The biggest resistance
21:29
comes. And I get it. It's scary to go into this place. It's
21:33
scary to go to the next level. But in order for us to
21:37
us get to the next level towards freedom, it
21:40
requires us to be able to get comfortable in something uncomfortable,
21:44
break free from it, break through from it, and Then be able to
21:48
easily walk in with a more calmer way into our
21:51
destiny. I. There's a quote by Robert Campbell
21:55
and he said he was a Irish immigrant. He came
21:59
here years ago, like so I was not born. But
22:03
he became a very successful businessman. And he says
22:06
the cave that you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek.
22:11
What's the cave? What's the treasure? A lot of times we
22:14
may get to, into one cave, overcome the fear, and then we're in a whole
22:18
new. We get to the treasure and then all of a sudden, as we're going
22:21
on our journey, here comes another cave. Okay, yay. Do we. How do we. Do
22:24
we face it? We have to redefine fear.
22:28
Redefine fear from forget everything and run, which we typically
22:32
do to face everything and
22:35
rise. And then we get to feel everything and relax. And
22:39
that's really where the beautiful grounding calm
22:43
becomes sustainable. I think one of
22:47
the things that for me as I was
22:51
changing and growing was I came from a background
22:54
kind of chaos. And so when there wasn't
22:58
chaos, it felt uncomfortable.
23:02
And you tend to, you, you tend to make it, you
23:06
tend to make me have to fill that space.
23:10
And, and when, when, when you've got that calm,
23:14
you're, you're almost in that place where I'm
23:18
waiting for the other shoe to drop. Something's going to happen. So you, you
23:21
almost, you don't let yourself enjoy it because you're,
23:26
you're used to this other thing. So yeah,
23:30
is a bumpy ride, but it is definitely worth it. So let me do this
23:33
before we run out of time. Okay? We've, we've hit on, I
23:37
think, some really amazing ideas for people
23:41
and you have a gift. And I want to make sure that you talk about
23:44
the gift and that you also make sure you give us some
23:48
action steps that we can take because I believe you haven't really
23:51
learned something until you applied it. So correct
23:55
about the gift. Okay, so the free gift that I have for you
23:58
today is seven secrets to more biz Life
24:02
harmony. And it's because you have the power. You have
24:06
the power to increase your time, your money,
24:10
your influence, your impact. And these secrets
24:13
are going to share with you how I give you seven secrets that spell
24:17
out the word harmony. And then over the series of the
24:21
next seven days, I give you seven more secrets and they
24:25
spell out another word that I think that you'll like.
24:29
It really is about
24:35
leaning in. I'm going to share with you the steps now. Our, our three
24:38
step process here is Lean in. You got to
24:42
lean into what's going on most of the time. The things that
24:46
we don't let that. Going back to that quote, the things that are going to
24:49
bring us the biggest fruit are the things that
24:53
we're probably have a lot of resistance to. So it goes back to
24:57
that part where you were talking about. Let me just take a sip of water
25:00
here. It goes back to what you
25:04
were talking about of when you have a decision, right.
25:08
You have a decision. And there is,
25:13
you know, sometimes we're being blown away. It could be a. A chaotic decision,
25:17
or maybe you're to create chaos about the decision.
25:22
Some decisions, not all opportunities are good opportunities. We
25:25
know this. But some decisions may have a
25:29
chaotic component to it. Even though it's an energetic.
25:33
Yes. Most of the times
25:36
you want to check in to, okay, what is the energy behind us?
25:40
There's always the energy behind whatever the decision
25:44
and all. Also the transformation if
25:48
it's not an energetic. Yes. Usually for me, I'm like, no,
25:51
I already. So it's about being able to know
25:55
your decisions and own them. You ever said, like, part of me wants to do
25:58
this, part of me wants to do that. That is actually an example of an
26:02
internal conflict. Literally. It can be like a tug of war in the
26:06
mind. And the longer that tug of war goes on,
26:09
then the longer we stay in indecision. And a lot of times we
26:13
get to waste a lot of time and energy. Indecision. So
26:17
these secrets are going to be able to support you in getting clarity with that.
26:21
That is fabulous. And I can't believe. I mean, I do believe we're running out
26:24
of time because. Because I'm having a good time.
26:28
So just ask you this.
26:31
What was the. What was the last time you did something new for the first
26:35
time? My
26:39
answer to you is, every day.
26:44
Every day. Seriously, is there lies the beauty of
26:47
entrepreneurship? It's never going to be the same. It's a new
26:51
opportunity, a new season every day. You know, it's funny how I used
26:55
to live in Florida and the seasons never really changed there,
26:58
Right? So it's funny because, like, then you recognize how. Wow. People don't really.
27:02
There's not a lot of shift. Well, up here in Virginia, we have four
27:06
seasons. We're forced to change every single quarter,
27:09
even if you don't like it or like it or not. But what if
27:14
every day could be a new season and a new opportunity?
27:19
You know, there is, literally. Especially because I live
27:22
the mom, wife, and CEO life. Every day is completely different.
27:26
You Know, our mind resists change, but the only
27:30
constant is change. Really embracing these changes. And
27:34
every day and seeing my kids in a new light, seeing myself in
27:38
a new light, seeing my husband in a new light, and
27:41
that my interaction, Interactions with. Is that evolution.
27:46
My interactions with myself and others and seeing that
27:50
evolution, man, that is new and fresh every day. And that's a
27:54
great thing. Yeah. And, I mean, kids will show you new ways
27:57
all. All the time. Okay, time
28:01
for the commercial. So, as the first step, I hope you're going to
28:05
subscribe and share and engage on the podcast on social media.
28:08
And the reason I did this is I wanted a way to
28:12
help, to give back, to help you supercharge your business through connections.
28:16
And I'm hoping to connect you with people that maybe you wouldn't have had a
28:19
chance to meet. And they're all coming with their. Their insight and
28:23
a gift and things that are going to help you to grow yourself and your
28:26
business. So I hope you'll continue to join me on the one small
28:30
change so that we can embark on,
28:34
you know, tiny shifts that are going to give you,
28:37
like, incredible transformation. And if you haven't listened to the
28:41
first episode, you should. And I'm also doing a thing called
28:45
the Quarterly Clarity Call, because it's really hard for
28:49
me to not talk on my own podcast. So I get a half an hour
28:52
to talk by myself. So there'll be two episodes of that is up
28:57
that you can see. So
29:00
I hate to say it, but what's your last words? What's the takeaway that you
29:04
want the audience to have? The last
29:07
takeaway is that when you lean in, it
29:10
allows you to fully let go. And guess what? That allows
29:14
you to leap forward. There's things consciously and
29:17
unconsciously that are not called to be in your new season,
29:21
and that is a beautiful thing. You know, it's the. The
29:25
analogy of we can hold on to all that we
29:28
know so tight, it can actually prevent the very things
29:32
that God is trying to bless us with from coming in. So what are you
29:36
called to lean into? What are you called to let go of? And how
29:40
is that going to allow you to leap forward and go ahead and get your
29:43
free gift? And we look forward to seeing you again soon. Thank you so much,
29:46
Yvonne, for having me today. This was awesome. Thank you. And
29:50
for everybody else, remember, change is simple, but it's not always easy.
29:54
It requires courage and resilience and a willingness to step outside your
29:58
comfort zone. So I hope you will continue to join me on the one
30:02
small change and until the next time, stay very
30:05
curious. Heather, thank you so much.
30:10
Absolutely. My pleasure.