Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / going no contact with a narcissist doesnt mean you stop thinking about them immediately

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going no contact with a narcissist doesnt mean you stop thinking about them immediately · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on? Beautiful people.
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist code.
• 0:04
  I mean, favorite self-awareness is mr.
• 0:06
  Mental illness. Better known as Li hammock
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  across all social media platforms.
• 0:10
  I've been stood up y'all. If this is your first time
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  hearing my voice or see about face, I'm a clinically diagnosed
• 0:15
  narcissist. But he's my platform on social
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  media to raise awareness for MPD.
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  Get more people in the therapy and also validate the victims
• 0:22
  survivors and drivers of said disorder, said toxic people
• 0:24
  said, dr. Drake's, today's episode is
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  going to be about know how no contact is just the beginning of
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  your healing process. Y'all know contact doesn't mean
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  that the thoughts of your partner stop and the purpose of
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  no contact as well. Yeah.
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  So if you haven't already all joined the channel memberships,
• 0:43
  you get priority respond. You know, you get priority
• 0:46
  replies to comments, you know, I see your comments access to
• 0:49
  special disc or service and Facebook chats and things like
• 0:52
  that Vlogs, email Services, all kinds of different stuff.
• 0:56
  Yo Channel, memberships, the join button, you know, at the on
• 0:59
  my Main beige buildup is happening.
• 1:01
  Today's episode, no, contact is just the beginning of it.
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  Really, it really, really is. If you don't know what no
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  contact is is really when there is no access provided to the
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  narcissistic person to the toxic person that you're dealing with.
• 1:17
  No contact is a lot of times step one, in a lot of healing
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  processes for people, you know? No contact is not meant to
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  punish The Narcissist y'all. It just not meant to punish
• 1:31
  them. Do narcissist take it as
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  punishment. Yes.
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  A lot of narcissist take no take when you go now contact and you
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  cut off access to them they do take it.
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  Like you're punishing him like what am I doing wrong?
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  You're gonna punish me from you being human me.
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  Minglang you go. No contact me, you know, go talk
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  to me. No more.
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  You're hurting me. He'll never do this to you.
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  Blah blah blah. Y'all just is a it is a trip
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  y'all. Honestly.
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  It is a, it is a wild Wild Ride. But no contact literally means
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  like no contact, like not. If you still get a message for
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  them, you haven't blocked them. You're reading them, there's not
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  no contact out, there's no response, there's ignoring them
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  sooner or later, you're going to respond to them.
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  They just yell, it's almost inevitable that you respond to
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  them sooner or later because they're going to say something
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  to trigger. You are going to send you a
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  picture of them in the hospital or the dog sick or they just,
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  you know, they own they are standing on the edge of a bridge
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  and saying they're gonna Um, if you don't come there, yeah,
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  they're going to say something. Block them blocking is the best
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  way to go, no contact blocking Universal block, block
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  everywhere, you know, be prepared for the friends and
• 2:39
  family to come through as well. But no contact is just the
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  beginning, y'all. Because no cons.
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  I said no contact does not mean. You're not going to miss the
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  person. No contact is not just the is
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  the not just the only step in healing.
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  You just oh no. I'm not going ever talk to him
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  again. That's the, that's the goal.
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  But no contact means that you. It's just the start of the
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  healing process. As the rumination is going to
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  start kicking in like you're gonna start thinking about them
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  all the time. Sometimes, sometimes you're not
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  you're going to be just chilling, you and their date,
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  that person is going to pop up until your head you going to
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  start missing them, you know, but this one, no contact us for.
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  So you don't reach out to them and you just get back, get the
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  relationship Dynamic back started because you missed them.
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  Ask yourself, what do you miss about them?
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  Do you miss the person who were or you miss the person who they
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  were who they are right now and the person that you would know,
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  contact with, because I can get, I can guaran-damn-tee you that
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  People rarely ever miss the person, they went no contact
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  with, they missed the version of the person they thought they
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  were. You mean, you missed the version
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  of the person you thought would do who you were dealing with?
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  That's what happens. A lot of times.
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  You think, you think you missed this person but you miss the
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  version of that person you thought existed diverse and they
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  presented to you doing the first initial idealization phase.
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  You don't mean no contact is just the beginning.
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  Y'all the feelings don't just go away.
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  It's to minimize the. Yeah, it's the minimize things
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  because I just, I truly feel You cannot fully heal and in the
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  same environment, they made you sick.
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  I just don't think you can do that.
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  If you're if this toxic relationship Dynamic is making
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  you sick. Well, you can't like you can't
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  operate on a normal basis where you're just doing things out of
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  the ordinary when you're feeling a certain type of way, if that's
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  what things if, that's how things are going in this
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  relationship Dynamic, then you're going to get out.
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  It's going to keep going this way over and over and over and
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  over again until you get out of it.
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  And when you get out of it going, no contact helps you
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  heal. Because yeah, it's It's you're
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  blocking all the stuff. Like if you're watching this on
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  YouTube, if you, if you're listening to this on the podcast
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  show, I had my arm right here. This is just imagination Shield,
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  being in front of you. You see one of those Shields
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  like, in the old movies and stuff like that, like an
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  armored, an armored Shield, or like a police, she like, you
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  know, police the ride, the riot shields, you see, just imagine a
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  riot shield, that's what no contact is because without that
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  Shield, all the stuff that that thrown at you, the bricks the
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  love-bombing breaks, the love, the lies that the lying brick.
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  It's the, you know, in the half-truth tomatoes, the the,
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  the gaslighting Rocks. Yo, the triangulation that the
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  triangulation onions, whatever. They're throwing at you is going
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  to get through to you, because they're you because you don't
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  have your shoes up. In some of the stuff is going to
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  hit you. It's going to hurt the lying.
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  The lying brick. They hit you in.
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  The forehead is going to hurt y'all.
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  You some saying the gaslighting rock is going to hurt.
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  If it hit you in the face is going to hurt you.
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  It just is. So that's what no contact does
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  is put that Shield up between the stuff, are some things going
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  to get through. Yes, sometimes things get
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  through because a family member reaches out to you, a friend who
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  reaches out to you, you know, they block they do star 67 or
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  reach out to you something like that.
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  They create a fake phone number reach out to you, but no contact
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  is putting that Shield backup. You know.
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  Contact you like who you sometimes?
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  You have to move this Shield, if no contact is a riot shield, you
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  have to move. Move the shield to protect
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  yourself. You can protect yourself
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  straight on and straight forward by doing the, you know, blocking
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  their phone. Number blocking their social
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  media blocking them, blocking their family members who ever
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  you can. That's a straightforward block.
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  Like I said, they create a fake number.
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  This them coming to the coming from the side if they can't
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  create a fake profile, that's them coming from the side.
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  So you have to adjust this Shield.
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  Boom boom, boom. And they're throwing stuff to
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  the right to the right. It's a fake number to the right.
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  Boom. Boom, boom, you block it.
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  You know, you're going to love by the grenade here.
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  Here, here here. Come the therapist, promise to
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  go. The therapy grenade.
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  Here comes the promise of Thornton grenade.
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  Block it, move your Shield up high.
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  Boom, boom. He's I'm saying, they're going
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  to throw to the love the, the promised to go to therapy
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  grenade. He don't look, they're gonna
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  launch the like all lessons failed guys.
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  I'm about to pull the pin on the third, period, promised to go to
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  therapy grenade. Poetry.
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  No. Boom.
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  It's don't blow up. Shield yourself.
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  You have to Pivot. It's like I said, sometimes
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  things are going to get through. Sometimes things are going to
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  get through. But no contact is to help you
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  build that muscle. For when things, you know, it's
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  like working out. Yo, is to help you build that
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  muscle. So when things do get through,
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  they might hurt you. But you can readjust deal with
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  it and still not break their no contact like a.
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  That's why I call it a no-contact muscle.
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  You have to build it up. Y'all the number, the longer
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  Wrong with you, have no contact that strong with that muscle
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  will be yours. I'm saying the more you have
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  your ride Shield up and no longer.
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  The more, you learn how to Pivot with it.
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  The more stuff you a block away and sometimes they sometimes
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  will they get will they get exhausted and go away?
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  Yeah sometimes you do. That's the hope that they'll
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  just go away and they'll leave you alone so they're not they're
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  not tempting you to break no contact you know.
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  But sometimes they'll keep doing this stuff.
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  Y'all until they'll keep doing this up over and over and over
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  again to try to exhaust you to make that Shield heavier because
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  it means. Let's be realistic.
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  So now I'm going to contact it's hard because you miss them and
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  then she'll start getting heavy and I'm tired of holding the
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  shield about myself. That's why you needed support.
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  System you something. That's why you need a support
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  system, to block it all off. The block it off, you know me.
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  Don't you need a support system to help you get through these
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  situation. That's why you need a support
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  system, when that show gets heavy.
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  Pick it back up there. So you need to let, sometimes
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  you need a life coach or therapist, they help you pick
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  that shit up back up, like hey, you know, I do, I do my
• 8:15
  coaching. So I have my coaching service, I
• 8:17
  do want to one of the resume and things like that, you know, the
• 8:19
  link go to mental illness dotnet if I find that type of stuff out
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  right there, but you pick that Shield up and you can fight for
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  where they help. Do they help you lift that
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  Shield up y'all? That she'll gets head.
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  Let's be realistic. It's hard going.
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  No contact and is one of the is so hard y'all that's why I
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  celebrate it for people. I fought for people.
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  If I celebrate you would you go? No contact his hard.
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  It's like kicking an addiction. It really is.
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  Sometimes it's harder. It is harder to kick in the
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  person of people at a. Sometimes it's harder to kick in
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  addition to a person. Then it is to kick an addiction
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  to a an illegal substance, because they illegal substance.
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  Can't call you and takes you that illegal substance can't,
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  you know, reach out to you and tell you that they miss you.
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  The legal substance can't show up to your door, begging and
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  pleading and crying you made it. Illegal substance, can't call
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  you from a fake phone number, the legal substance, can't call
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  your mom or your dad and beg and plead them for them.
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  To reach out to you. Their legal substance can't do
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  that but a person can that's why I plot no contact is when I said
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  it's so hard to do. Yo you should be applauded
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  because let's say you've been together with somebody for 10
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  years. Look get a nice.
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  Even number, like 10 years out. Ten Yours is approximately three
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  thousand six hundred fifty days. Sober 3650 days straight most
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  times. A lot of times you've talked to
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  this person, you've interacted this person Sometimes.
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  Good sometimes bad you had three hundred sixty three thousand six
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  hundred fifty days of interaction of this person is
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  hard as hell. To go to go from talking to this
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  person every single day to know days at all.
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  They won, no contact. And if people get people just
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  like, really, it's been, it's been two months.
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  We would get, we would get, we were together for ten years.
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  I've been out of relationship for ten.
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  You know, I've been on a relationship for one year and I
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  still think about them sometimes, why do I why?
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  When the white, when does it ever stop like y'all 10 years
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  versus one year? The time hasn't even matched up
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  yet, give yourself a chance. Do not give yourself an
• 10:13
  emotional black eye. And what I mean by the emotional
• 10:15
  black eye is stop beating yourself up emotionally.
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  Yourself some space and some great job, this space to forgive
• 10:22
  yourself. I mean, the space to heal in the
• 10:25
  grace to forgive yourself for the things.
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  You did not know because you know them.
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  Now, you know, that you didn't a toxic narcissistic person.
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  You know that this person was emotionally and sometimes
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  physically, abusive, you know, this person wasn't right for you
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  in the beginning. You didn't know that now, you
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  know? So, but there's white now, you
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  know, you go back, whole different story, you see I'm
• 10:44
  saying now, you know, do you see?
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  I'm so you see, I'm going right here and I'm going to look safe.
• 10:49
  Again it's not victim-blaming. This is me trying to point it
• 10:52
  out but now because now you know you mean now you know, that's a
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  dynamic right there y'all, you know.
• 11:01
  Yeah. That is a very interesting,
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  interesting Dynamic to know because they're going to try to
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  exhaust you out. I'm going to start mailing you
• 11:07
  letters and things like that, but try to be there, she'll make
• 11:10
  that Shield heavy you, let you go.
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  This shit is really heavy Tomac likely, there's too much stuff,
• 11:15
  they're throwing too much stuff at me, you know, that's what,
• 11:17
  that's what a coaching call will just help you.
• 11:19
  Oh, they're still don't know. Okay, I got a little bit of
• 11:21
  extra energy just by watching the videos and subscribe to our
• 11:24
  YouTube channels and listening to podcast to help how to help
• 11:27
  rebuild their self. Love, you know, is why the self
• 11:29
  love Journal that I've actually designed on Amazon, help people
• 11:32
  regain their self love and self worth.
• 11:34
  So you don't need it. You realize you don't need it
• 11:35
  for that person. Why you needed for that for that
• 11:37
  person, you can get it from yourself.
• 11:39
  You know? Why do you need it for that
• 11:41
  person is you can get it from yourself.
• 11:44
  There's only telling you how no contact is just the beginning.
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  No contact does not mean you miss them does not mean that you
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  hate that person? No contact is not mean that you
• 11:52
  stop missing that person. No.
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  Contact does not mean that you stop wanting to talk to a person
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  is no contact means you chose yourself.
• 12:00
  The kind that means you've chosen yourself over abuse.
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  You chosen yourself and you chosen to The Chance the shot at
• 12:06
  a good future over the toxicity? That's when no contact me a job.
• 12:10
  Now, I hope you understand the dynamic, because no contact is
• 12:12
  hard as hell to keep up. And it whoever's with no contact
• 12:15
  with somebody in their life. Toxic boyfriend, toxic
• 12:17
  girlfriend. Talk to him friend, toxic
• 12:19
  parent, I applaud you because I know it's tough as hell to do.
• 12:24
  I seriously applaud every single one of y'all I appreciate y'all.
• 12:27
  Y'all are you are way stronger than you, think you are be
• 12:29
  blessed. No Zedd, get this self-love
• 12:31
  Journal, join the channel memberships for the extra, push
• 12:34
  them down and sometimes you need an extra push like And subscribe
• 12:37
  for more and if you listen to this or apple music or Spotify,
• 12:40
  even if I thought I'll be bleep leading eh pies, please give me
• 12:43
  get ready. Aidan.
• 12:44
  I appreciate every single. One of y'all mental illness is
• 12:46
  out. Peace.
• 12:44
  Aidan. I appreciate every single.
• 12:45
  One of y'all mental illness is out.
• 12:47
  Peace.