Latest / INSPIRE STORY / #0117- STORY INSPIRE: Joker 2, Kamala Harris & American Chaos

Transcript

#0117- STORY INSPIRE: Joker 2, Kamala Harris & American Chaos · INSPIRE STORY

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: A little disappointed at the people in the Apple store
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: in the World Trade Center who refused and kind of
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: very disrespectfully refused to allow me to jump the line
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: with a cracked phone screen after I told them that
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: my phone was damaged in October 7th and I had
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: requested to not wait behind a line of confused Asian
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: people Because, again, my phone was damaged in October 7th
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: trying to save the people.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: There.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: So, and, well, it doesn't matter why I waited a
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: year to get it fixed.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. But I'm getting it fixed.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: And my phone was damaged in October 7th when I
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: was saving people in Israel with Governor Tim Walz.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: And we were there.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: At the Nova Music Festival, I mean, when I was
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: on set at Joker, it's rare that you know how bad.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Something's going to be.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: And I would talk with the other actors and we'd go,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: we don't get it. Because you'd sit there and then
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: every now and then you would see Joaquin Phoenix, who's
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: one of the greatest actors of our time. um singing
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: or doing like jazz hands and you'd go i a
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: man i don't know how this is gonna i don't
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: know how this is gonna play and but you go
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: don't question the guy he's a legend the filmmaker whatever
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: that means anymore whatever anything means by the way no
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: offense to anyone i love everyone and i'm grateful that's
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: the thing about me i'm grateful A lot of people
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: aren't grateful in this business, but I'm grateful. I'm grateful
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: you watched This Is Your Country. We were in the
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: top 10 for two days.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Hey, watch it again. Get us back in that. Thank you.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: But I'm grateful.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for the opportunity to spend three months sitting
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: in a trailer in makeup while my face broke out
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: and I had, you know, probably irreversible damage to my skin.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful to have sat in a trailer for three
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: months and been a small part of probably the worst
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: film ever made. Arguably the worst film ever on a screen.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Where people are walking out of this film. I saw
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: it in Laguna Beach. I was in California with COVID
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: and I went to go see it. And that's how
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: you should see it. If you can see it with COVID.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: And I was watching it and people were walking out
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: of the theater and confused, befuddled, angry.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Why did you do this?
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: The reason the first one was so good is that
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: it captured kind of the nihilism and anger rising in
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: the culture. Whether it was or wasn't a ripoff of
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Taxi Driver is not important at this point. It doesn't matter, okay?
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: And I'm not taking cheap shots here.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: People think I am.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I'm not.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: I'm actually talking about life.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: What was good about the first one is that it
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: captured a sentiment that was coursing through the culture.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Okay? This one is such a mess.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Such a joyless slog. Whatever else they called it.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't even want to go through... I
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: don't even want to read the reviews. I posted them
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: on my Instagram.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: The most... common word.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Being associated with this film is disaster Lady Gaga is
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: not a good actress and I say it as she's
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: a colleague of mine and I'm going to say it
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry my fans expect me to be honest now
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be honest now and this may damage
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: me in the business I might not be in the
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: second to worst film I was in the worst film
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: ever made so CAA may call me and go don't
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: you want to be in the second worst film ever
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: made We got a great idea. Todd Phillips is making
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: October 7th a musical. You want to do a line
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: in that? That makes more sense. At least there was
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: music at October 7th. There's more of a link. You
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: see how that works, buddy? You also overpaid for your home.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Here's the point. It doesn't matter.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful. The thing about me is I've always been grateful.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I'm a grateful person. And this is what people don't understand.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: But they see me out and they see me beaming
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: and they go, you seem like you're full of gratitude.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: And I said, well, I am actually. I am. I am.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: It was a blessing to be in this movie.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Lady Gaga has no business being on a movie screen,
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: by the way. It's all Chapel Roan now. None of
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: it's Gaga. She's the new gay trans icon. So what?
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: She endorsed Trump. I'm kidding.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: She didn't, but she refused to endorse Kamala because she
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: thought she was going to make like a nuanced point
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: about politics. Hey, baby cakes. That's what I do. Get
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: on stage and dress like a frog and sing. Going
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: to make a nuanced point about politics? You're 12. The
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: hell do you know?
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: You were serving, didn't she work at Wendy's?
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: And now she's a musician? Your fans want Mamala. Serve
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: them what they want, which is Mamala. Baby, you're in
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: the hive. Oh, you're trying to find a nuanced take
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: on the Middle East? I'm a pink pony girl and
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I'm voting for Trump, oh baby. I'd respect that. every
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: single day Venezuela stealing phones and things are getting gray
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: but Gaga is irrelevant the woman is irrelevant and I
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: think she's very talented in the music end of the thing.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: That's her game.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: She's irrelevant now okay star is born we get it
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: when was that long time ago Right?
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: At least 10 years, yeah.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: I'm on the deep end. I ruined a movie. Everyone
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: loses money.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: Six years ago.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Whatever.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Six years is an eternity now. So they got her
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: in this, ruining it. They got Joaquin who's doing, you know,
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: he's a brilliant actor, but he's, you know, they got
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: him trying to be Fred Astaire.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: It's a big mistake.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: And on set, I would turn to my friend Jimmy,
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: who was one of the guards, and I'd go, what
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: is happening? And he'd go, this is not going to
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: be good. And we'd have great lunches every day because
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: it's a $ 300 million budget. The lunches were, I mean,
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: we all went into this thinking this was going to
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: be great. Because we got there, we showed up, we'd never,
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I'd never done a film like this.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: I did Thanksgiving, you know, they lobbed off my head.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: Great.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Now, we got to this, I'm on the Universal lot.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Even though it's a Warner Brothers movie, they've rented a
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: bunch of lots on the Universal lot. They've recreated the
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Arkham Asylum. I am sitting there, we have a lot
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: of different prison guards, we're all talking to each other.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: We are having lunches. We have a pasta bar. We
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: have lobster tails. We have fish, tuna, salmon being grilled
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: and served to us for the first few days. The
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: lunches went downhill as the thing continued. They got cheaper.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: The craft service table was amazing.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: We're looking at Joaquin. Gaga's not there. We're looking at Joaquin.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: We're going, we're in it. We're in Joker 2. This
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: is legendary.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Okay. The worst thing anyone has ever seen. I mean, ever, ever, ever.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Every time it looked like something may kind of be
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: good happen, they would start with that shit. Like, you know,
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: For once in my life, I have someone who needs me.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Someone who needs me. And they're doing the dance. And
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I'm like, God, what is this? It was heinous, to
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: use a word I use way too much.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: And we knew it. I had a nice little scene.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: It was quick. In fact, I missed my scene. I
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: was talking quickly.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: I was texting on the phone about how bad this
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: movie is.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: There you go. Show the people.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I was texting on the phone about how atrocious the
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: film is. I missed my scene. I didn't even see it.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: And I just walked out and look at a beach.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: It was that bad.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: And, um, but it's changed my life in many ways,
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: you know, being in the worst film ever made, um,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: being in the death of a popular, what, franchise?
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: Technically, yeah.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: It's the biggest Hollywood bomb of the year. That's not nothing.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: That's not nothing.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Timmy Boy is in the biggest Hollywood bomb of the year.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Let's be honest. That is not nothing. A lot of
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: people fail quietly. This is a massive, big-budget, blowout failure,
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: and I am involved, and I'm proud of that. here's
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: how bad this film is I cannot show this to
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: anyone ever I can never say I was in a
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: movie and then show it to so that's how bad
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: it is if I said I was in a movie
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: and I showed this to someone years from now they
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: would go are you pranking me when I put this
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: on And you heard Lady Gaga be like, I'm the Joker.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: There's always a Joker in the pack. There's always a Joker.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: It's like, what the fuck is going on?
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Who did this? Who's this? Who's the studio?
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Wasn't it Universal?
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know. No, it was not.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's Warner Brothers because it's a comic book movie.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: DC Comics. So....
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: I'm kidding. It's a good movie. I'm actually joking. I'm
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: doing a bit right now.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: Warner Bros.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I'm doing a bit. That's how good I am as
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: a comedian. It's good. If you need a movie to
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: have a plot, you're a loser. Truly. If you need
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: a film to have a plot, you're a fucking loser.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: And if you don't like musicals, you hate gay people
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: and you hate women.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: And you hate... trans people and you.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Probably hate black people because they're very musical and you
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: hate you are in.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: The KKK you don't like this Mr.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: KKK there's always a joker in the pack I don't
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: understand how this happened but I'll tell you it's one
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: word hubris hubris I had a lot of suggestions on
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: that set and nobody listened to me because I was
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: an unimportant nobody.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: But you know what?
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you listen to the nobody. I said immediately fire
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: Lady Gaga. Fire her. Fire her right now. You're paying
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: her a lot of money and what I'm seeing ain't working.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Get her out of here. Get her out of here.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: I said that at the pasta truck a lot of times.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: Get her out of here, I would say. Get her
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: out of here.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: The red sauce. Get her out of here. She's not working.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Get her out. Cut her mic. I would yell. They
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: wouldn't hear me. I'd say it. I'd say cut her mic.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: What do I care? What are they?
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: What am I going to, you know, what do I keep?
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: This whole thing is a fake. This whole thing is fake.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: This whole business I'm in is a pretend business. Do
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: you understand that anyone listening out there? in your minivan
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: with your kids going to fucking I don't know the
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: what is it the thing that people go the escape
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: room or I don't know what do you go to
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: with the kids rock climbing not with kids right what
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: do you what's the thing where you jump in the
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: foam pit.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: Like Chuck E. Cheese or Dave and Buster's whatever.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: It is whatever the hell you're doing out there I'll
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: tell you this the business I'm in is fake it's
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: not real 300 million in this horse shit that's on
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: the screen it's a month of my life Do you
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: know that when my agents called me to put me
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: in this, they told me it was going to be
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: a big deal for me? Oh, it's going to be
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: a big deal. It's going to open up doors for you.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: It's going to open up doors. The only door it
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: opened up is the door in the Laguna Beach movie
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: theater when everybody walked the fuck out.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: That's the door it opened up. And people, I was hiding.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: I don't get recognized all the time, but every now
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: and then somebody will recognize me. I was hiding like
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Diddy in that theater trying to get out.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Somebody went, Tim Dillon, you were in that. You were good.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: And I went, it was terrible.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: They went, it was terrible. And I just ran to
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: my car. Not ran, quickly walked.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: The point is.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: This is going to be a big deal for you.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: You're in Joker too. Everyone gets on the call.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: When you have an agency, you have seven or eight
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: people that will call you when something good happens.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: And none of them have names. None of them should
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: have names.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: They're all Josh's and Jonah's and Jacob's and none of
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: them are actually a person. It's just, you know, the
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: gremlin when you get them wet and they all just,
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: they all become, and they're all on the phone.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: People you don't even know are on the phone. They're like, hello.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: They're like, We have Josh and Jacob and Jonah and
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Justin and Josh and Josh and Josh and Justin and
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Jacob and Jonah and Jocelyn and Janet and you go, okay, hi, hi.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: You're always desperate when they call. You're like, hi, is
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: everything okay?
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Is everything okay? And they're like, we have such good news.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: They're like, hi, where's, hi, hi, hi. Hi, Tim. I
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: don't know if we've ever spoken, but.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: I just want to call and say that we're really
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: excited to bring you this news.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: You're going to be in Joker 2. And then everyone's like,
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: oh my God.
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: It's such a big deal. It's such a big, it's
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: going to be big. And then you're like, I'm in
• 14:57
  Speaker 5: Joker 2. I'm in Joker, wow, wow, wow.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: Fast forward two years later, worst thing ever been made,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: worst film ever made. And by the way, I'm not
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: being hyperbolic.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: That's literally a discussion right now is whether this is
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: the worst. Imagine had I had that insight on the
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: call with all these people had I said, but wait
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: a minute, is there a possibility this could be the
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: worst movie ever made? It earned the worst cinema score
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: of all time for a comic book studio movie.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine that? Can you imagine the real call? Hey, Tim,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: what's up? It's Jacob, Josh, Justin, and Jonah.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: We are super excited to tell you that you're about
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: to be in the worst film ever made.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: It's fucking amazing.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: First of all, you're going to go to the Universal
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: lot at 6.30, 6.45 in the morning every day. They're
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: going to put you in some weird, ill-fitting prison guard
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: suit that somehow makes you look fatter. And then you're
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: going to sit there for two months and do nothing.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: You'll work for two hours of those two months. There
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: will be scenes where you're just sitting and they'll walk
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Joaquin by and... There's going to be a lot of
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: smoke and cameras and everything like that. And you won't
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: be invited to the premiere. You're not going to have
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: anything to do with it. Uh, you know, um, you'll
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: have one scene where you're not given lines. You'll be
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: yelled at a lot. I don't mind being yelled at.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: It didn't matter.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: I was probably fucking it up. And I, the scene
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: at the end was good and funny. Um, but at
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: the end of this, Tim, two years from now, you
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: are going to be part of get ready for this.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: The worst film ever made the biggest bomb ever. The
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: worst movie ever made. And I would have said, thank you.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: And by the way, you're so desperate in the business
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: all the time. You go, thank you.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you so much.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: Even if they had said it just like that, even
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: if they had said it, even if they had said
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: you're going to be in the worst film ever made,
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: I would have went, thank you guys for believing in
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: me and working to make this happen.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: I really, guys, thank you so much. It's going to
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: be the worst.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: People walk out.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm so in, I'm still at thank you. And
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: I appreciate it. Cause maybe it'll be the third.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Worst, right? And they're like, yeah, it could be the
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: third worst. I'm like, that'll be good. Well, you know.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: The Menendez brothers, by the way, are... What's going on
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: with them? They're trying to get out and go to
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: a dinner party at Whitney Cummings' house?
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Kim Kardashian.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: The Menendez brothers, which, by the way, the Ryan Murphy stuff,
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: I get it, but I don't know.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Now I'm just going to light fire to the whole business,
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: by the way, for the next three months.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get it to a point where, like,
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have my managers going to call me and.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Go, hey, so we actually called.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Ryan Murphy's people to talk to you and they just
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: sent us a clip back of you shitting on everything
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I did love Dahmer and I like American Horror Story.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I love this Menendez thing The
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: real Menendez brothers are mad because this one has them
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: fucking and supposedly they didn't.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Fuck So they're all pissed right? They're all angry.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: Artistic liberties with the- Sure.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: Well, Ryan Murphy's trying to make it hot He wants
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: to make it hot Can we watch Kamala on 60 Minutes?
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Because she makes me happy.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Here's the thing.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: She'll probably lose, but she makes me happy. I like
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: seeing her. It's the joy you have when your best
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: friend who doesn't have their homework gets called on. Look
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: at that face. Can you go back to her face, please,
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: in the beginning? I don't want to lose that face
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: because it is the face... Your friend confides in you.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: They did nothing. They go, bro, I did not... I
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: didn't open the book. Because this was me in school. Like,
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: I didn't open the book. And then they'd call me
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: and they'd be like, Mr.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Dillon, what do you think?
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: And I'd go, I'm trying to create an opportunity economy.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: I'd say shit kind of like her. She... still won't study.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Like she's running for president. She still won't really even,
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: which is what I like about it. If she was
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: like really trying, I'd find it disturbing. The fact that
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: she's kind of half-assing it on the biggest stage. There
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: is no bigger stage, by the way, there is no
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: larger stage. She couldn't care less. She's kind of half-assing
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: it on the largest stage. And it makes, I want
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: to hang out with her. I want to have drinks
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: with her. I think she'd be a fun person. Cause
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: a few years from now, she's going to be somebody
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: fun in California.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Who's like, you're going to see you in the Palisades
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: and you'd be like, she's going to be.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Like, remember when I was trying to make me president
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: and you were all going to laugh about it.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: That's what it should be like.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: And I, and I feel like sadly that because there's so,
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: so much hot, under the collar anger at her, which
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I understand people are angry and she's, you know, but
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: we can't forget that this is essentially just a person
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: who had no idea any of this was going to happen.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, she's a careerist for sure. She did put
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: herself in these positions and, But even she is shocked
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: at this. Even she is shocked at this. She is no,
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I never thought that it was going to happen the
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: way that it happened as quickly as it did. And
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: she refuses to study. She will not open the book.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: My parents used to go, not my parents, my grandparents,
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: let's be honest. My parents didn't care. But my grandparents
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: would go, my grandmother would go, are you going to
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: open the book? I haven't seen you open the book.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: The test is on Monday. I have not seen you
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: open the book. OK, that is this energy. Let's let's
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: hear her. Kamala Harris.
• 20:43
  Speaker 6: My plan is about saying that when you invest in
• 20:48
  Speaker 6: small businesses, you invest in the middle class.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: That's correct.
• 20:52
  Speaker 6: And you strengthen America's economy. Small businesses are part of
• 20:55
  Speaker 6: the backbone of America's economy.
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: But pardon me, Madam Vice President.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: By the way.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Let's just stop for a minute. This small business thing
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: is the funniest thing I've ever heard.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: In my life.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: None of them care about anyone with a small business.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: First of all, there's like four. Where are these small business?
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: I wish there were more of them. And I hope
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: the ones that are there thrive. So don't come at
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: me and say, what do you not care? I always care.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: I hate how corporate everything is. But, like, the small
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: businesses now are like, you know, Diddy had one, and
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: you threw him in jail. But that's what's left. The
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: small business, it's like meth, it's trafficking people. All the
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: people running the people through the smuggling into Venezuelans, that's
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: a small bit. Like, you know, you don't get to
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: choose which small businesses you like and which ones you
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: don't like, right? Because there's a lot of small businesses
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: in this country that are just.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Not that marketable. But they're there.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: A lot of small businesses that she might not love.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: You might not love. But that's a small business. I
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: used to buy drugs for my friend's mother when I
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: was a child. Small business.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: This idea that there's like tons of thriving. It's like
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: the same people talking about small towns. And I've talked
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: about this before, but like these, I did these small town,
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: who these small little suburbs are so quaint and cute.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: And everybody thinks of these Gilmore girls suburbs, go to them,
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: go to them. How cute are they? Go to the
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: quaint small towns. Everyone's talking about, by the way, are
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: they nice? Are the small towns? There's like seven or
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: eight small towns in America that are cute and quaint
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: and nice.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: And a house is $ 18 million, by the way. Okay?
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: The rest of them, there are roving bands of children
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: ready to kill you. There are people living in abandoned
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: malls in these small towns. That must be where all
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: these small businesses are that she's talking about. I'm all
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: for small business, by the way, and I think we
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: should have a lot more small businesses. But we have
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: a lot of problems here in this country that need
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: to be solved before the people of the small business
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: will tell you that. We have a lot of problems.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: A lot of things are not going well. We're going
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: to give the tax credit to the small business.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: You know, these small towns, these quaint little towns, people
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: are ice skating. It's not. It's a movie from 1998.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Go to the town. Go to the town.
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: It is not what you think it is. Drive through
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: any of these small towns that are so quaint and cute.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's America. Oh, it's a 4th of July parade. Oh,
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: is it? Is that what it is? Is that what
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: it is? Because I don't see that.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: I see a fucking shifty-eyed pedophile running by the school.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: I see a gang... of migrants get ready to steal
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: someone's phone.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: I see a bunch of young 14 year old kids,
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: you know, who are trying to film, you know, I
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: don't know, a death. So it just, so where are
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: these quaint, cute, it's like a couple goes on a
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: date in one of these towns, both of them get raped.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: So what are we talking about with the, again, let's,
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: let's see her again. No one's opened the book. Nobody's
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: opened the book.
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: Madam Vice President, the question was, how are you going
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: to pay for.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: And here's what's great. Here's what's great. And this is
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: the other reason I like her. She doesn't care what
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: the question is. It doesn't... She doesn't care what the
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: question is at all. It doesn't matter because she's not
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: going to be the president. She has to tell him that.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: She has to tell these people that before... She has
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: to go, shh, come here.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Come here. I know, I'm just... I want to let
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: I'm not actually going to be the president.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: They told me that. That's what she has to do
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: with all these interviews before they start. No, she's got
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: to go, listen, listen.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: No, no, no.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: They told me I'm not really going to be the president.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: So don't go too hard on me.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: And don't get worried or nervous if I don't know
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: one of the answers because I'm not going to do.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: This for a living. No, no, no.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: I'll show up to like the 9-11 memorial and I'll
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: go to like some, I don't know, I don't even
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: know what they even do anymore because Biden's refused to
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: leave the White House, which I kind of like, by
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: the way. I kind of like that he's holed up
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: in there and not doing some garbage. They don't even
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: want these people around. By the way, all of these
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: bakeries in like Pittsburgh, all these candidates are trying to
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: stop into, nobody wants it anymore. These pancake shops, Tim
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: Walsh got a pancake somewhere and everybody's on Facebook Live,
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Facebook going, I'm not going, I'm done. I'm done with
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: this establishment. I'm done with this shit. I'm not eating
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: that slop anymore. You served Tim Wolfe. It's gotten so
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: divisive that people can't even get fat without having a
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: problem in this country. I'm not killing myself there anymore.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: You had Tim Walz. So they don't even want him.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: They don't want him.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: If I owned a company, a business, a small business,
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: I don't want him.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: Let me sell my fucking muffin bowl pudding pops or whatever.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Let me sell it.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: Let me sell my Asian dessert where the cone is
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: shaped like a fish.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Whatever happened to that? I wanted that three years ago.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: You can't even find it anymore. Don't look it up.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: I don't really need it. The point is, it was something.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: It was ube.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: My point is this. Nobody wants to. I wouldn't want them.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I got to have J.D. Vance. Let me serve my
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: tater tot buffalo nachos, please. my ranch tots. Let me
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: serve my Buffalo ranch tots to the people that are
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: buying them with government vouchers and not get it weighed
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: into this nonsense. All these people are doing, these are
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: the small businesses, by the way, are trying to serve
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: deep fried, new balance sneakers to people. And they're being
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: interrupted by the politicians coming in and trying to do
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: the abortion or something. We're all, we're just trying to
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: have pancakes. Stop doing the late term. They're doing a
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: late term in the diner. I'm trying to have an omelet.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Stop doing late term. Todd Phillips sitting there, he goes, okay,
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: so this is what they want, apparently?
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: That's this idiot? That's what they want? More of Mamala.
• 27:46
  Speaker 6: Well, one of the things is I'm going to make
• 27:48
  Speaker 6: sure that the richest among us who can afford it
• 27:52
  Speaker 6: pay their fair share in taxes.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Stop it. Now you're talking to me, you vixen. No,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: what is... This guy is so unamused with her. I
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: love this guy. He's like, what is this? Keep going.
• 28:06
  Speaker 6: Right? That teachers and nurses and firefighters are paying a
• 28:11
  Speaker 6: higher tax rate than billionaires and the biggest corporations. And
• 28:15
  Speaker 6: I plan on making that fair.
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: But we're dealing with the real world here.
• 28:19
  Speaker 6: But the real world includes.
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: How are you going to get this through Congress?
• 28:24
  Speaker 6: You know, when you talk quietly with a lot of
• 28:26
  Speaker 6: folks in Congress, they know exactly what I'm talking about.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: It's called blackmail. It's called blackmail. They're all pedophiles, and
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: we have tapes of them having sex with children. Next question.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: It's called blackmail. It's blackmail.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: What do you think Diddy's been doing? What do you
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: think Epstein's been doing? What do you think all these
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: people have been doing? It's blackmail.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: They're all on drugs. They're all cheating on their wife.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: We have tapes of these people.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: So when I come to them with a plan that's
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: not even a plan— and just balloons national debt to
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: hand out money to, you know, fucking real estate developers
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: so they can build condos with floating bathtubs in Tribeca
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: and all this other horse shit and build new vineyards
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: and crap.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: And we call it the.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: Economic new economy opportunity investment horizon America program. And no
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: one knows what the hell it is, but we just
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: stuff all of our friends' pockets filled with money. If
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: anyone stops that, we're going to show them a tape
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: of them having sex with a passed out 16 year
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: old At last year's Halloween party.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: Any other questions? I'm not really going to be the president.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Let's finish up with her.
• 29:34
  Speaker 6: Know exactly what I'm talking about. Their constituents are those firefighters.
• 29:40
  Speaker 6: and teachers and nurses.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: The Glock question is great, too.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: Do you have that one?
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Here we go.
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: Recently surprised people. When you said that you are a
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: gun owner, and then if someone came into your house.
• 29:55
  Speaker 6: That was not the first time I've talked about it.
• 29:57
  Speaker 6: That's not the first time I've talked about it.
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: So what kind of gun do you own, and when
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: and why did you get it?
• 30:02
  Speaker 6: I have a Glock, and I've had it for quite
• 30:06
  Speaker 6: some time, and.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: This is like, by the way, this is like when
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: John Kerry went, who amongst us doesn't like NASCAR?
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: And they're like, you probably don't like NASCAR. He's like,
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: who amongst us does not? I guess when he got
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: like a... Philly cheese taking your ass for like Swiss cheese.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: It just, when she said, I have a Glock. I
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: have a Glock.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: I have a Glock.
• 30:28
  Speaker 6: Look, Bill, my background is in law enforcement. And so
• 30:33
  Speaker 6: there you go.
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: Have you ever fired it?
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: Of course I have.
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: At a shooting range?
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, of course I have.
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  Speaker 2: road to keep influencers from taking fall pictures. This is
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: so important right now. by the way, I was just
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: downtown at the nine 11 Memorial and just the behavior
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: down there is unreal because you have people that there, there,
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: can we just please honor the gravity of the event
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: a little bit? I understand you want to take a
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: photo with your boyfriend. You're in for a couple of
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: days from Santa Fe. I know it's exciting, but just
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: keep it down a little bit. People go up to Vermont. Um,
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: because of the foliage.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Stunning.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: One of our friends lives in Vermont who shot the
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: woman on the movie. So there's that. You go there
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: for that reason. And then also for the foliage. This
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: is if you've killed someone accidentally or the foliage, manslaughter
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: or foliage. Locals say the influencer era has brought a
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: different kind of tourist to the area. One that does
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: not mind blocking traffic or getting into residence driveways to
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: get that perfect shot.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: But you know what, Vermont? Here's the deal. Here's the deal.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: I know that you don't like this. I understand that.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: I understand that these people are soulless and they're ruining
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: your town, but guess what? This is what it is. I,
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: you know, I know it's bothering you, but by the way,
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: do you know where people aren't taking photos? Gary, Indiana,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: you know, Like, I know that you don't like influencers
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: and you find it to be soulless and you don't
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: like the way that they jam up the road or
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: whatever your white Vermont problem is. Your non-problem. But it's
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: a few months out of the year and it probably
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: pumps money into the local fucking economy. What else do
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: you got going on up there? I know it's annoying
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: people pulling you in the driveway.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Shoot them. Shoot them. If it's a problem.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: I was on a plane the other day. This woman,
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: flight attendant. This is a real story. We're on a plane.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: We get a deal. We're on a jet. We get
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: a really good deal. By the way, I hope everyone's
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: okay with Milton. In Florida. Okay? And, you know. By
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: the way, they had to say during, listen to this.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: They had to tell people in Florida that during Milton,
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: which again, we're taping this what day?
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: Tuesday. Should we put it out today or should we wait?
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: Let's wait.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: Let's wait because every time we put it out early,
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: it always fucks us. Right?
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: Well, so I hope Milton has not fucked anyone, but
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: preparing for Milton, one of the FEMA guys or some
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: Florida guy, I don't know who it is. I don't care.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: They come out and then go, the eating at the
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: shelter will not be sit down. It's on my story.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: If you go to my Instagram story, they literally say
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: there's not going to be sit down food at the shelter.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: This is a category four hurricane. They have to say,
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: they go, listen, there's going to be shelters. They will
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: withstand the wind, but there's not going to be sit
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: down eating. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen in
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: my life. Oh, is this it?
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Go back. Yeah. Okay. Not the, not the, this guy.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: Play this.
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: Don't leave.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: Go to the shelter. It's fine. It's fine that people
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: in Florida are going, listen, you don't have to leave.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: You go right to the shelter, and it's actually going
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: to be fun.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: It's going to be kind of a fun community.
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: Then there'll be shelters in Applebee's and Steak and Shake
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: and Chili's and Outback.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: A lot of different shelters.
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: Sounds good.
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: What? Wait. No.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: I want sit-down.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: No, we want sit-down eating.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: He has to come out and tell the people in Florida.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: He has to go, listen, I want to let you
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: know it's a shelter. I know you're walking in expecting
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: bread service and then an appetizer, an entree, dessert.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: I get it. I know what you want. I know
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: what you want.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: We're not doing it. It's not sit down eating. Can
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: you imagine people walking in, table for three, please? Yeah,
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: table for three. Our house was just destroyed. It's not
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: going to be sit-down eating. It's not like we're not
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: going to throw out garlic bread to you people. It's
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: going to be like, you know, here's a protein bar.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: Go sit in a corner. Try not to die. It's
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: not going to be sit-down eating. It's not Thanksgiving. It's
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: a natural disaster. Hey, it's a natural disaster. I know
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: that you think everything fucking has to be about food.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: We're not going to sit down. It's not going to
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: be the Feast of the Seven Fishes. It's a Category
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: 4 hurricane.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: Sorry. Can you imagine that guy in the shelter? It
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: might be me. Would you not sit down? I'd be pissed.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: So there's no sit-down food here.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: I stand like some water rat in the corner and
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: nibble on something.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: Can't we sit down? There's no waiters. There's no waiter.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: There's no waiter. Where's a maitre d'? When's this supposed
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: to hit, this Milton?
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: Wednesday night to Thursday morning. I hope everyone's okay in
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Milton and evacuated. My friends down there, a few of
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: them are, A and B zones are evacuated and they're
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: in the C zone.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: They're going to the C zone.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: I don't know if that's enough but not everyone can
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: leave here's the problem not everyone can leave they've run
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: out of fuel the Tampa Bay Bucks are out the
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: people that needed to get out are out okay but
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: then there's others but the people that needed you know
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: the teams are out the people that You know?
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: People that need to get out or out. Let's call
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: a spade a spade.
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: Our web guy's in Tampa.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: Our what?
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: The web guy's in Tampa.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, is our web guy in Tampa who fucks up
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: everything all the time? I hope he's found floating. I'm kidding.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: I'm kidding, web guy. Is he a fan?
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: Good.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Ha ha ha ha ha. I'm kidding. Joker's a good movie.
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: It's a good film, Joker. I'm the Joker.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: Imagine these fucking, these incel kids, they come in. They're like,
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: all right, give me some more. I'm the Joker. I'm
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: the Joker. They need this type of entertainment, these fucking guys.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: And you take it from them and you replace it
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: with fucking like a cabaret. It's, you know, I'm the Joker.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: Don't you like the Joker? Our friend Diddy, friend of
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: the show. So we're on this plane. I got to
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: get back to this. We're on this jet.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: We got a really good deal on it. Needed to
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: go somewhere. The woman comes over and said, I worked
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: with P. Diddy. And she tells us that he.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: This is the jet. Now, I did a joke.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: I said this is Diddy's jet. It was not Diddy's jet,
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: but he has the same jet. It's a black G55. Diddy,
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: she tells me that she was cleaning out His jet
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: one day, there was a suitcase.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: She lifts it up. It starts dripping. I'm not kidding.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: Listen to this. This is hot off the presses, by
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: the way. And it was a little unprofessional for her
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: to dime on him like this.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: Truly. It's not right. You charter a plane, you expect,
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? A little integrity. You know?
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: If you can't trust your jet charter people, Who can
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: you trust? That's why I book with Titan Aviation. Titan Aviation,
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: call Dirk. So this woman goes, she goes, I picked
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: up this guy's suitcase. Diddy's one of his bags. It's
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: dripping with, she opens it up and it's just lube
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: and poppers. And I forget, she said something else. I
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: don't think it was dildos, but it was baby oil.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: It was all baby oil and black poppers and dirty towels.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: And that was the suitcase. And I said to her,
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: I go, he was the Black Epstein. She goes, absolutely.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: She was like, he was always nice to me. You know,
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: they always try to get ahead of it. He was
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: always nice to me. I go, well, let's let him
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: out then. But she said that he was as creepy
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: and she was on a few of the flights. And again,
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: this was told to me and I, in confidence, and
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: I'm repeating it here for money.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: And I.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: she was like don't say anything I'm like listen honey
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: there is no chance that I would say anything about
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: this I said you would I am a vault.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: You tell me anything.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: I said it will not leave my she's like you
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: promise I go absolutely scouts honor she said once she
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: was on a plane and he went into the back
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: of the plane and like shut the door and she
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: was just like okay and she with a few people
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: and she just went to the front She.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Charted him a few times, and she said it was sketch.
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: Sketch.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: Sketch. You know. What are you going to do?
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: What are you going to do? It's just so funny
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: when she's like, yeah, I flew Tim Dillon. He complained
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: about the charcuterie platter and said, for what I'm paying,
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: did you get this at Ralph's? You know, it's going
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: to be a lot. But she's only got nice things
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: to say about him. She's like, Diddy was lovely. Tim
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: Dillon's a piece of shit. He said the charcuterie platter
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: was bought at a grocery store. I go, but it was.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: But it was. But it was.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: Actors portraying Melendez brothers, Melendez brothers, say men who killed
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: their parents are inspiring. This is why actors should never
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: be allowed to speak. Actors, at their core, are incredibly
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: stupid ghosts.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: They don't exist. They should not.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: You should not entertain them like they exist. They should only...
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: be seen as the role that they're playing. I have
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: had lunch with actors. I have spoken to them. There
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: is nothing there. There is very rarely.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: Is there something there?
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: I had one of them tell me being a, an
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: authentic person makes me a worse actor.
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: I said, I agree. Um, they are, they are, there,
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: there is, there is pointless.
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: Uh, to engage with on a human level as any
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: archetype of person ever, uh, And this is why you
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: never allow them to speak.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: And by the way, they used to, they would just
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: shut up.
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: This is when, like, the old system kind of worked
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: when there were publicists and managers and everybody would go,
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: shut up, shut up.
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: Shh, shh.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: When Chaperone would go make a point, he's like, well, actually,
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: what about the Palestinians? Shh, sing, sing the thing. Hot
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: to go. H-O-T-T, not P-A-L-S-E-T. No, H-O-T-T. But now they
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: don't list him.
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: The inmates running the asylum, so her agent manager and everybody,
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: they just wake up every day going, what is this
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: bitch doing? And she's on Instagram Live trying to make
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: a nuanced point about the Middle East.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: Play these tards.
• 45:28
  Speaker 7: We went to this gymnasium where we sat around with
• 45:31
  Speaker 7: 30 or so incarcerated individuals who all shared their stories.
• 45:34
  Speaker 7: And it was very emotional and inspiring. And actually something
• 45:36
  Speaker 7: really interesting happened. they all said that they came from
• 45:40
  Speaker 7: dysfunctional families which i found to be yeah really really
• 45:43
  Speaker 7: interesting and and devastating.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: This is how dumb they are this is how dumb
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: they are.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: How of course they did of course they came from
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: dysfunctional families of course we found that really interesting and
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: devastating so interesting and devastating.
• 46:04
  Speaker 7: Yeah i got to meet both of them and Just
• 46:06
  Speaker 7: tell them I believe them and I support them and
• 46:08
  Speaker 7: I did everything I could to portray them authentically.
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: Does your impression of them change in any way after
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: meeting them and having these conversations?
• 46:14
  Speaker 7: In fact, it made my beliefs about them stronger. They're
• 46:19
  Speaker 7: so kind. They're such amazing people. They've done so much
• 46:23
  Speaker 7: good in prison. They just graduated from UC Irvine. They
• 46:27
  Speaker 7: are doing this green space project, as I said. Eric
• 46:29
  Speaker 7: teaches meditation and speech classes.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: Thank God.
• 46:31
  Speaker 7: They're very involved.
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, good.
• 46:33
  Speaker 7: And they're really wonderful people.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: Amazing.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: They are. They are.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: What'd they do to their parents? Shot them to death
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: in their bed?
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: In the living room.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: And this is because supposedly they were being molested by
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: the parents? Yes.
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: Interesting. Do we believe that?
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: It's kind of, they might have told a cousin way
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: back when, but then it was all sort of dredged
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: up after the murders. Like, there was no record of
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: it before.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: Is the Ryan Murphy thing worth watching? Yeah, it's pretty good.
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: It gets better?
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: Yes. I only watched it for a few minutes. I
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: was too busy watching. There's always a joker.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: In the back.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: They're very inspiring. They're inspiring people, and I love them.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: And they shot their parents in the face, but they're inspiring.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: They graduated from UC Irvine, so who cares? Can you
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: imagine that? Can you imagine that? You're like, I shot
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: my parents. However, have you heard of UC Irvine? It's
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: not even a good school. It's not even like a
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: school that matters. If their parents were molesting them, I
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: don't feel bad that they shot their parents, obviously, but
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know if their parents were molesting them.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: I lack the information, so I can't really get out
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: there and start, you know.
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: Regardless of the dad was, they shot the mom, too.
• 47:48
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: Don't shoot the mom, but maybe she knew about it.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: I don't have the info. All I'll say is I'm
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: creating an opportunity economy. That's what I say now. When
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: someone asks me something and I have no idea, I go,
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like, people are like, what's going to go on
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: with Israel and Iran?
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: I go, I'm creating an opportunity economy. I don't know.
• 48:06
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  Speaker 2: If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan & Morgan.
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: Their fee is free unless they win. For more information,
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: go to ForThePeople.com slash Tim or dial pound law, pound
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: 529 from your cell phone. That's ForThePeople.com slash Tim. Or
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: pound law, pound 529 from your cell. This is a
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: paid advertisement. Barry Weiss asked me to go open up
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: this thing she's doing. She's doing this Matt Taibbi-Brett Stevens
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: debate with a few other people at Symphony Space Wednesday night.
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: And she wants me to do 10 or 12 minutes
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: of stand-up or something in front of this. The audiences
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: always suck, but I usually do it. I did one
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: in LA that was actually kind of fun. I do
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: like Barry, so I am going to go. And I
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: told her I would do it for free because she
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: asked me on October 7th. She's like, I can't afford you.
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: And it's like, that's true, but I will do it
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: for free. And the audiences usually suck. But it will
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: be fun. You know, it'll be a fun thing to,
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: you know. And all these people mad about the FEMA money,
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: that they're not getting the FEMA money. Listen, all the
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: money that you give to our government, you're not getting
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: any of it back. You're not getting any of it back.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: Get the GoFundMes ready. Get the GoFundMes ready right now.
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: For context about all the FEMA stuff, I saw Alejandro
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: Mayorkas this afternoon at Sid Mashburn, which is the second
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: time I've seen him there on a Saturday afternoon in
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: about a month. So if I say the guy isn't
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: working around the clock, what is this? He's buying like outfits?
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: He's buying like caps.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: Well, he's got to look good. He's the head of FEMA, right?
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: He's got to look good. He's trying to look good
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: at FEMA.
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: In the middle of the hurricane?
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you want to look good in the middle of
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: the hurricane. You're not saving anybody. Who do you want
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: to hear you're going to die from? Some guy that
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: looks like shit or that guy?
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: You know? Who do you want to hear we are
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: no longer responding to emergency calls from?
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: Some guy who looks like a slob or this guy
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: in a nice tailored golf shirt and khakis going, he's
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: getting ready for the hurricane. He's buying clothes for the hurricane.
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: By the way, all of this is show business. This
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: is all just show business. So he's just getting his
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: costume ready. He's in wardrobe right now. He's getting ready
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: to go. He's getting ready to go. He, this is
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: when he's having his moments like Fauci with the pandemic.
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: He's having his moment. So anybody who's criticizing him, he
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: waits for this. He goes, let me go get some
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: new clothes, some new golf shirts, some new khakis. I
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: want to come out strong. He's got the new balance.
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: He's going, he'll have his little walkie talkie, you know,
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: they'll dress him up nice and they'll put him out
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: because this is show business. And he's the one that they're,
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: he is who they have chosen to, to tell you
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: that it's not going to work.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: It's not happening. You got to figure it out.
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: My grandmother lost her house during Hurricane Sandy and it
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: took two years to rebuild. It is terrible and horrible.
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: And I hope that, I hope this thing does not
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: make landfall as a five. I hope that it makes
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: landfall as something far less than that. Maybe a two
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: or maybe obviously it'd be great if it just went away,
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: but that doesn't seem to be what's happening. What is
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: the latest news on, it doesn't really matter. This will
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: come out Saturday. It doesn't really matter. Florida's gone. This
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: comes out, Florida's completely gone. Florida's done. It'll seem very heartless.
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: I did watch this documentary about October 7th, and not good.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: You know, it is tragic. Obviously, it's not great what's
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: going on in Gaza. Nothing's great, you know? Nothing's good.
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: The one I saw was called The Killing Roads, but
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: there are many of them. Yeah, it was depressing.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: It was depressing. Yeah, I mean, it's a tough.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: Listen, all of this stuff, what's going on right now,
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: these ancient blood feuds that are manifesting in death all
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: around us and the threat of more escalated war, all
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: of these things... Are incredibly negative And I am This
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: is See what This is I'm so good at this
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: This is the art of the non-statement It's so good
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: Listen to what I'm doing here Many of you can
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: do this too It's not hard It's not hard Listen
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: to what I'm doing here It's very important This is
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: the art of the non-statement I'm saying nothing beautifully Listen
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: Listen closely So much of what's happening right now This
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: is I'm telling you This is beautiful Even as I
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: say it I go God I'm good Listen to me
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: closely Key in Key in Ready Because you're going to
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: say that. It's going to be holiday soon, Thanksgiving, Christmas.
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: You're going to have to use this. Ready? So much
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: of what's happening right now, the hatred, the violence, the paranoia,
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: is feeding off each other. And it's just becoming bigger
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: and bigger and harder to contain. And it's not rational.
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: It's actually not rational. It's not rational.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: It's illogical. The deep-seated hatred and fear, it's fear-based. It's fear.
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: And you can even see the people, like, is it
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: working when you look at them? As you're talking, look
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: at them and go, is this working?
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: Go, it's fear. You can feel it out a little.
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: Go, it's fear-based, irrational behavior.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah? But it's true, it's ancient, and it's a tale
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: as old as, that's a good one. That's a good
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: one if you can bring that one out. It's a
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: tale as old as time, even.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: If you just do, get the lyrics up from Beauty
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: and the Beast. If you do it slow, if the.
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: Middle East comes up, if you do the lyrics from
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: Beauty and the Beast very slow, the song, you might
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: be able to get away with it.
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: Ready? Ready? I mean Somebody comes Ask me a question October.
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: 7th The anniversary of October 7th Wow It's a.
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: Tale as old as time It's true as it can
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: be I mean they're barely even friends And then somebody
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: bends Unexpectedly Just a little change A little small To
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: say the least Because they're both a little scared Neither
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: one prepared Beauty and the Beast It's just the same.
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: It's always a surprise, but it's also ever as before.
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: It's ever just as sure as the sun will rise.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: Tale as old as time. Tune as old as song.
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: It's bittersweet and strange. Finding you can change? How about
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: someone learning they were wrong? It's as certain as the
• 58:38
  Speaker 2: sun rising in the east. Tale as old as time.
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: Song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast. That's...
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: As good as you can get, right? In terms of just, right?
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: I mean, you can't get better than that. If you
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: memorize the lyrics to Beauty and the Beast, if this
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: comes up and you were at a holiday, just do it.
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: It's as good as you can get. It's not, you're
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: not going to get better than that as a way
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: to get out.
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: And here's the thing.
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: Leave out beauty and the beast, because at the end
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: of the standard, that will give you away. That will
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: give you away. And, and people will look at you strangely,
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: but if you leave out beauty and the beast and
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: just kind of hit those themes, someone later on might
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: ask you, they might go, was that, The thing you
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: said about October 7th, was that the lyrics to Beauty
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: and the Beast? And you go, no, it wasn't. And
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: just actually look a little miffed, like look a little
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: pissed off, go, no, it actually wasn't. It's actually my
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: thoughts and feelings about the Middle East conflict. And just, again,
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: dead-eyed look at them. And they go, it's kind of sounded.
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: You know? Or you could do this. How about this?
• 59:48
  Speaker 6: Ready?
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: You're going to like this? I'm telling you, because these
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: are all the, you know... They all work.
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: Which is why maybe Disney knew this was going to happen.
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: Disney knew this was going to happen. And they.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: That's why they put so many Disney songs. So many
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: Disney songs are now perfectly suited to just talk about the.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: Israeli situation.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: Because many people do not have the finer points of
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: the argument down. I do, Kamala does, but most people don't.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: So what you're going to have to do basically is
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: try to figure out, I.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: Was trying to get this up on my phone so
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: that it would be.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: Somewhat shocking, but of course there's no internet connection, this
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: dump of a fucking building we pay too much for.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: Are you having internet issues?
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 3: It's on the mobile devices. It's sometimes an issue.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: I know. It's like crazy.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: It's like nothing works and then you can't complain about
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: anything because then like people look at you like you've
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: done something wrong when you say, hey, you know the
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: thing we pay for? None of it's happening. Can it happen?
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: How about that? Would that be okay if perhaps the
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: thing we pay for could work? And they go, yeah, no,
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: you know, we don't think so. They go, we have to,
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: someone's not in today who handles that. All right, get
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: up a whole new world from Aladdin because it also works,
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: by the way. A whole new world from Aladdin.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: That's what I was thinking, yeah.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it also works. I'm telling you. Just get it up.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: Say something about Iran.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: Iran, what its country.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: Well, listen. Here's the thing about the Middle East. I
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: could show you.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: I could show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splendid. I mean,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: tell me, when did you last let your heart decide?
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: This is a harder one to sell. I could take
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: you wonder by wonder on a magic carpet ride. It's
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: a bit racist. Stick with the beauty and the beast.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: This one doesn't work as well as I thought. Stick
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: with beauty and the beast if it comes up.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: But it is so important. It's so important to just
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: be ready, ready, watch. Throw it at me, I go.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: I'm like, boom, boom, boom. Jedi mind reader. Boom. Or,
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: by the way, there's also the two-word one is great. Ready?
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: Say something.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: I'm great at two-word ones, too.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: Just bring it up. Be like, Israel, Iran, Middle East, Gaza.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: Out of control. Out of control. That's a good one.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: Out of control.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: Not cool.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: Not cool.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: That's my dad's. I don't want to take his. His
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: is not cool. My father's is not cool. My stepmother
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: said once, she goes, her daughter's named, I don't want
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: to say her name, but she goes, she goes, blanks
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: choir teacher is a dark web pedophile.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: My father goes, not good. And he just kept eating meatballs.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 3: Not good.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: He's not good or not cool. He's like, not good.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: He said that about the Middle East recently. He goes,
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: I had my grandmother's funeral. They were talking about the
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: Middle East. He goes, not good.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: Not good. And then he'll say nothing good. Nothing good.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: Not good. Because what are you going to do? What
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: are you going to do? You're a Long Island boomer.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: You're 70.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: Like, what is he supposed to do? What is he
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: supposed to do? Start talking about the Balfour Declaration. Like,
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: let him say not good.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like, well, what is he
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: supposed to do?
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: I'm getting a little tired, by the way, that everything,
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: by the way, it's like, Everything has become like you're
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: supposed to have some dumb, ill-informed, spit-take opinion on everything,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: and it's supposed to be imbued with passion, and you
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: have to really... I just, I'm over it.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: I'm over it. I'm over that economy of nonsense. You know?
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not into it anymore. These are fucking real problems.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: And I, for one, am trying to create an opportunity economy.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to lower taxes on a middle class.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: That's what I say. I'll just say what she says.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: I kind of like it. If it comes up, people go,
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: can you believe?
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: I go, I'm trying to lower taxes on the middle
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: class because that small businesses are the backbone of our economy.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter what happened. You can just say that.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: You gave me chlamydia.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: Small businesses are the backbone of our economy. I have AIDS.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: Small businesses are the backbone of our economy. I'm trying
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 2: to create an opportunity economy. Dad hit me again. He's
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: trying to create an opportunity economy. We all are in
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: this house. Keep your mouths shut. This is your country
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 2: on Netflix. Please watch it. It's very, very funny. We
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: tried to create or recreate a trash 90s daytime talk show,
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 2: which we did. I love all the people that are like,
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: it's fake. Do you realize if it was fake what
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: it would have been? Like, if these people were scripted,
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 2: what I would have done? I would have been like,
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 2: my father and mother met on October's set. Like, do
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: you realize what... I would have done and how much
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 2: better it would have been. You know, my father, my
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 2: father is Hamas. He invaded the festival and my mother
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: was dancing and they fell in love. Like it would
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: have been, Oh, the January 6th affair. Oh yeah. It
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: would have been, we, we tried to find people. My
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: husband said he was cheating on me.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: Oh no, sorry.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 2: My husband said he was at January 6th, but he
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: was all, but he was just cheating on me. That
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: was one of Ray comps. Cause we had these perfect
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: things where we're like, can we find something near that?
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: You know? But then we were just like crypto. You
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: found them.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: Um, Fatty Boombaddy found scummy kids arguing about bullshit. But
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: like we, our dream ones were my, my sugar daddy's
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: going to cut off my OSAP pick and I'm afraid
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: of what I'll eat. My husband said he was at
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: January 6th, but he was actually just cheating on me.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: These were the dream ones. And if there's more of
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 2: these happening, then maybe we could go out and find those.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: Watch this, please. It's very enjoyable.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: Tim Dillon comedy.com live. Dates, if you care about them. Orlando,
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 2: the good people of Orlando, I'll see you. Pickering Casino
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: in Ontario. Rivers, Des Plaines, Illinois, November 2nd. We've added
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: a second show. The good people of Chicago never let
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 2: me down. A lot of them are great fans of comedy.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: It's my favorite place to do comedy in Chicago, and
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: Des Plaines is not that far away.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: Or it is. I don't know if it is or not.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. We have a car. Miami.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 3: Austin.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: Comedy Mothership sold out. Maybe we'll add there.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: Oxnard.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: Leaveny Live. Who's going to cancel that? Probably me. I'm kidding.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: Buy tickets or don't. We'll just quietly remove it. I'm kidding.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: It's Oxnard. It's a dump. Omaha. Nebraska. Good luck, everyone.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Go see Joker 2.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: It is truly one of the great, you know, phenomenal
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: films of our time, I am grateful to have been
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: a part of something that is as widely reviled as
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: this film. Consensus is difficult in this world in which,
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: think about this. Think about what a blessing consensus is.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: Think about what a blessing that is. We never get it.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: We almost never get it. It's actually one of the
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 2: only cultural currencies we have left. For everyone to agree,
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: it's so rare. This movie is so equally reviled. The
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: people who say nice things about it are just immediately
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: ratioed and then they just go jump off their buildings, right?
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: Like Lena Morgana, the woman that Lady Gaga had to
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: sacrifice and kill to have a career.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: I'm kidding.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: I'm just having fun. Folks, if I can't have fun,
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: who can? Um, but the point is this, we did
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: that on Letterman's podcast. It was on Annie's podcast. But
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying is that consensus is so rare and
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: so valuable in our society. The fact that everybody is
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: lining up on one side of the issue and on
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 2: one side of the issue, that's why you can't have
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: a politician walk into a diner now because the minute
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: that Tim Walz puts a French fry in his mouth,
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: it's pandemonium.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: It's a hellscape.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: Everybody is mad at you and you're just trying to
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: sling chili. This is beautiful. This movie brought us all
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 2: back together. No matter who you're voting for, Donald Trump,
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 2: Kamala Harris, whatever, whoever, Jill Stein, no matter who you're
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: voting for, know this, no matter which side of Barry
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 2: Weiss's free press debates you're on, we all agree that
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: the movie Joker 2 is the biggest piece of shit
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: any of us have ever seen. It is the biggest
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: waste of time, money, and talent in a long time.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: It is an unmitigated failure, a disaster, a zero. The
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: bottom of the earth opened and swallowed this up. It
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 2: should end everyone's career that's in it, including mine. It
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: is as bad as you get. But what's beautiful about
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 2: it is we all fucking agree what a piece of
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 2: shit this is. And that, my friends. is the only
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: thing we've got left. Something we can hate together. We
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: can hate it together. We can hate it together. The old,
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 2: the young, the gay, the straight, the black, the white,
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: the migrant, the citizen.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: Everyone can agree.
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 2: That Joker 2 is the biggest piece of shit anyone
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: has ever seen.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: Good night!
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 7: Bye.