Latest / Jess Ask / Building Healthy Friendships (Not Codependent Ones) | FT Pauletta Brown & Andrea Gates | EP124

Transcript

Building Healthy Friendships (Not Codependent Ones) | FT Pauletta Brown & Andrea Gates | EP124 · Jess Ask

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Yo, it's sa girl, Jessica and smith Man. You already
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: know that you've entered the safe space for influencers to decompress,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: have fun and just ask. You already know what it is,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: and then you know it's about to get real. For
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: be sure to show you for us the love and light,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: come in and.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Subscribe God four the hand day right, Hey, I know
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: we could be another way.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, I was trying to do something different, but just
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: in case y'all don't know where y'all landed. Y'all landed
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: in the safe space where we compressed, decompressed, have have
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: fun and just and just ask. I almost forgot because y'all,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be truynest. After the Omar interview or whatever,
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, we're gonna come in. We're gonna
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: be structured it. And I was like, Lord, how does
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: my holy ghost feel prophetic self go with this? And
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I've done this the whole time? How do we structure that?
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: And you know what, I'm still just gonna go with God.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: And y'all needed to hear that because I know I
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: did so listen before. Yeah, real bad, I already know,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: my friend, Oh, real bad, real bad. You don't get
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: that type of oil and not recorded so you can
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: hear it later. Like nothing else is nothing else. But
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna introduce our guests in one more momento, but
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: you know I have to also present the song introduce Delate, Delate,
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: you were so wrong. Hey, we're working on it though. Yeah,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: we got new camera, so we do have a camera.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: But it's on the same it's on the same clock part.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: It's on the same But hey, I received the Lord's grace. Okay,
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: thank you speaking of grace, how you're feeling, I'm good,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I'm good. It's been a good it's been a good week.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: It's been a really good week. Yeah, it's been a
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: good week. You glowing. Ever, that's thank you for killing.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad that I got people on my side today.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad, but I got people.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Don't want to go.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: This is gonna be a phenomenalus show joined us today, Yeah,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: because we got our people in here. We got our
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: people in here, and today we're guess what we're talking
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: about today, jail a row. We're talking about friendship. Yeah,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: we're talking about friendships today. Because people always give us
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: the question, like how long y'all known each other. How
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: did y'all become cloak so close and stuff like that?
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: And so I think that navigating friendship as you get older.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I'm thirty plus, I'm thirty plus three, thirty three. It's
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: a good age. I knew. That's why I want to know.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: I got this one right here next to me, my
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: redhead twin. Okay, real bad, But no, I think that
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: doesn't rate. Like people really don't understand our friendship because
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: they never experienced good, healthy friendships. And I think we
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: have the best people to talk about this today. And
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I pulled on Desert Ray to pull them because you know,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: one of them being here befall, but the other one,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: you know, she here, she here? Okay. So I would
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: like to present to you and introduce to some you
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: what you want to call you, because I was gonna
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: say pastor. Okay, I'm gonna say pastor, pastor Andrea Gates
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: and doctor we gotta put on that. Doctor. Pauletto Brown
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: co hosts up her loud, y'all give it up? Are
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: you with your blady? Are you okay? Because my bitness
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: can't we can't hear her button. But when y'all go
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: back and watch this. Y'all gonna be able to hear
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: the class. She loves that button I do. She gets
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: really excited. Welcome to just as I was. I was.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I sought the Lord and he heard and Okay, because
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I was like desire I feel like I got to
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: get them on the podcast and it had to be
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: both of y'all this time because you guys together are
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: just watching y'all, it's like an under like I was
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: saying earlier, like people don't understand how Desiree and I operate.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: And I feel like sometimes it's challenging to put words
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: to something that you never planned on doing yourself. And
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: I feel like watching you guys on social media, y'all
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: on the same platforms, y'all travel together, y'all serve the
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Lord together, you even serve at the church where she's
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: the leader. Like, it's a lot of dynamics that people
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: don't understand. So I just want to start off here. Okay,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: how did y'all even become friends in the first place?
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Because I know that somebody said I heard that somebody
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: said they weren't really looking for friendship like that, and
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: it just kind of like rolled up on somebody but
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: how did y'all even come to come to be friends
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: in the first place?
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: You go, we we don't lie, you know, you love
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: to sprinkle a little. Just keep it, keep it, keeping truth, okay,
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: and you just gonna do all the Mouse college with
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: the Bible, the lies, you know, the truth.
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: We were at mouse together at the same time.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: And what year was this?
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: They had to be like four, okay, So I didn't
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: stay long, So.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: It's okay, So okay, that makes sense because so I
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: was at the height of the bakery, you know, at balls,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: because I was, I think, I hate I was. I
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: was pledging, so you know I was, and Lynn was not.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Do you even remember me? No, I don't remember, my lord,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I can't.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: Even take a context from Miles then.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: But saying that's where I mean, we were in the
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: choir together, I think.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: So then how did we meet? Oh?
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: I mean, we knew of each other.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: I think so many people that knew each other.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: But Miles wasn't where we met.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: Okay, okay, come on, it wasn't.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: It wasn't. So I guess we met it at uh
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: shade tree, know what we call it?
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Uh? Yeah, yeah, But it wasn't even there. I forgot
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: brought you around. I remember that much because.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: All this time, like I could have had a gun
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: in my head and I would have been like Miles,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: but it really wasn't. So y'all got mutuals. Yeah, y'all
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: got rachels. So at what point do we say we're friends? Like,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: at what point did y'all realize that something was developing? Well,
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: we had started hanging out with with with her, her
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: cousin and my friend, and we were just hanging out.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: We were going out, you know, eating dinner, You're just
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: hanging out or whatever like that.
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: And I don't know where the shift happened.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: It was organic, it was and you know because it
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: was just like wow, like you my friend? Yeah, you cool?
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: And I think I had a retreat And I think,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: you know, Lenn had a vision one night that that
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: you said that God came and spoke to you. See
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: how you can we got I think it's what you
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: finna try to say.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: Because she always gotta put season salt on it, you
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: know what I'm saying, Larry larryns Lyrry's Lyrry's not Lawry's
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: Lyrry's I E.
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: Li.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: But she had a retreat. She was having these little
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: retreats that was struggling, not thereat, struggling retreat. She invited me,
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: but she was having these retreats and she invited me.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: By this time, we had to be in the circle
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: with each other several times, like because it was by
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: virtual of t I think he had invited you around
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: and so you were like coming to the little family
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: stuff we have on Sundays, blah blah blah blah blah.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: And so it happened like that. It was so organic.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: It wasn't nothing like be my friend on that. God
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: had to tell me a certain way because I wasn't
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: open to friends. And I was with my sister. My
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: big sister drove me to Bessemer, but a retreat. It
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: was at some church.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Was it a Catholic church church?
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: It was like a Catholic church that had like a
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: almost like a dorm. And she was doing a retreat.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: And I remember getting out of the car and I
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: told my big sister. I was telling her. I said,
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: God said to me that Paul Lotter was my friend
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: m And my sister was like really, And I said yeah,
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: But God knew he had to tell me that, Yeah,
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: because if he hadn't said that to me, I wouldn't
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: have never been open to friendship.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: So friendship period or friendship with her friendship period. Okay,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: So did God have to make an announcement for every
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: friend that you've had outside of her?
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: No?
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: Okay, no, not prior, you know, not prior I had
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: went through a deep betrayal before her that really hurt.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: I'm not the person to open myself up to a
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: whole lot of people, M and so, but one thing
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: about me. When I do, I'm all in. That's why
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: I'm very careful with how I give my heart. Yeah,
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: because when I give my heart, I'm all in. Yeah,
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: like like I'm bunny, I mean like one hundred percent.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: You know the love of loyalty I have the way
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna ride for you. It's so I go so
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: deep and hard for who I love. Is the reason
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: why I'm very careful about who I love and who
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: I allow in my space, because people probably define my
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: personality as nonchalant, but it's really not. I really love hard,
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: and because I do, when something hurts me, I tap out.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: I go on and tap out, and I go on
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: and tap out and start healing because I know if
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: I don't, I'm gonna grieve long because I love hard.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: I don't really even know how to explain that, like
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: I go on and pull the plug, but people probably think.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: People probably define that as I don't care. No, it's
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: I care too much, So I pull the plug so
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: I can go on and start healing, so that it
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: won't be a year or two years for me to
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: get past something, because it can be that way for
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: me because of how I love people when I love
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: and so this. I had went through a friendship a
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: couple of years before that really really really hurt me,
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: and I was done, like I'm done with friendship, like
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: my sister, my friend, you know, that's what I was,
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: my big sister, we friends. I did indeed, nobody else,
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: and that's where I was, so God knew he had
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: to speak directly to me concerning her. Yeah, and I'm
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: telling you it has been seasons that I was like,
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: I'm done with Paul Otter, and I'm sure it's time
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: she was done with me. I'm just gonna be honest. Yeah,
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: you know, I'm done with Pauloto. You know, we've had
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: our spats, we've had our fallouts, but I always refer
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: back to what God said that day yea at the
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: little Catholic chid in the car. I refer to that
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: because that is and we have to do that often.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: We have to revert back to what God says. When
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: whatever we're in don't looking like what he said, you
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: gotta revert back to what he said. So times when
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: I wanted to abort the friendship, times when I wanted
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: to be done with the friendship, I refer back to
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: when God said, that's my friend. And also God reminds
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: me of seasons in my life had I not had
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: Paul Letter, Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't have made it through it. Yeah,
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: I'm serious. There are so many seasons in my life
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: that if it wasn't for Pauletta, you know what I'm saying,
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't have made it through the season. How she
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: has stood in the gap for me, how she has
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: mothered my child. Like people have no idea, you know,
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: the seasons when I tapped out of life. I'm real
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: like tapped out of life.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: No, you're talking, you're talking, We're gonna, yeah, you do.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: Understand what I'm saying, Like I don't know if Chris
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: would have finished school.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: People don't know.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: Nothing about that Oscar season.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: And they wonder why they are so yeah, prominent and
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: just out loud about your relationship. And I think that
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: witnessing Desiree and I because our relationship happened fast and
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: it's like we stuck like Chuck, like I can't imagine
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: doing life without Desiree. Don't take it to the head.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: And so I know a little bit about both of
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: you guys background And just to kind of make the announcement, Pauletta,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: you were adopted, right, and then got do I have
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: a what like a you know, FBI parents finish come
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: through the door something? You know they say when when
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: the pervading people speak, now stop be happening. No, don't
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: don't don't come, don't ask for what you don't want. Okay,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: but no, So you are adopted and then as she
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: calls you Lynn, that's who, that's who, lenn is what
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: she kept saying, I was, I don't know what they
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: think is. But you grew up differently. I think your
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: grandmother mother raised you so with y'all's backgrounds of not
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: being with your original parents, with the people that birthed you,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: how did that impact developing friendships period.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: You know what, that's crazy because I never even saws like.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: That ever, Like like you just shed light, like.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: We both wasn't raised parents like you better bring some
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: light to it.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: Just ask, don't play why I never thought about that?
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: Did you?
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: Like a light bulk?
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: Like?
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: But I think that speak speaks to how intentional y'all
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: were about each other, Like y'all didn't let y'all's past.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: It sounds like to me that you didn't let your
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: past affect building friendships except for how you felt about
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: the other fightings. You know, because like I've dealt with
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: like the spirit of abandonment. You talk about it, and
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: so like the the very people that got together to
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: bring me here didn't want me, you know what I'm saying, Like,
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: regardless of who what was going on in their personal lives,
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: you didn't want me, you know, And so having to
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: deal with that, there were times in relationships where I
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: stayed longer. You know, I've bought friendships. You know, Wait,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: you said you bought friendships. Okay, keep going, but I'm
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: gonna make sure you're going back to bed. Okay, I've
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: I've compromised my integrity to stay in friendships and relationships,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: you know, and so it just like, you know, every
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: now and then then it'll be like, hey, you need
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: to find your parents, you know. But it's nothing that
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: has that is affecting our friendship. It'll just be like
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: something that I'm going through personally. She's like, hey, you
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: need to find your mother and father because this is
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: you know, but it I don't think it has. It
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: hasn't affected us, you know. But I'm the only child,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: and so what I what I I think me There
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: have been times when I have been jealous, you know,
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: like I'm gonna tell the McDonald's story because you're looking
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: like what like we would normally when Lyn would minister,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I would drive okay, and I would I would pick
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: her up and we would drive or whatever like that.
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: Well this one time she was just like, no, I'm good.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: You know. I felt the way because I'm like, because, like,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: why you don't want me to drive you you know,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: because that was just like in my head that was
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: our thing, you know, and so she was like I'm good.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: So I was just like okay, and so but in
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: my mind, because I had dealt with that, I'm not
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: dealing with it. But there's still some residue. You know.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: It was a trigger for me. Yeah, okay, And so
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I got to the church first, and then we also
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: want to talk about who's more sensitive. Yeah, well you
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: don't have to say none of that. I have done
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: my research and I know, so I got I got
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: more questions, and so I'm gonna wrap this up for
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: real quick. So I get there and then she pulls
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: up right and then like she and then I must
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: have been looking down, but she's getting out. She's gotten
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: out the car, and there's some other people with her,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: and they all got McDonald's. And so I was like, wait,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: you went to McDonald's with them, but you ain't asked
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: me to go to So I'm telling you, like I
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: felt such a way, you know, and I had made
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: this whole epic movie in my mind, you know, because
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: that I was triggered, you know. And so I had
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: a choice to either you know, be like, hey, so
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: why do you want me to go to McDonald's or
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: allow her to minister and then deal with it, you know,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: And what did you try to allow her to minister?
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: You know, because I didn't want to, but I also
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: know that this could be something that could be dealt with.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: But I wanted to say something, you know, because then
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: I also had because at that time I was videotaping her.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. So you're still serving her,
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: man listen.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: Seasons which ILL don't know if that'll come up. She
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: has served me in many seasons.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: That I know were So that's that's a whole because
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: you're dealing with somebody. Okay, we're talking.
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: About Lin, right, lyn Is Lin.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she ain't past the A, right, so you gotta
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: be she wasn't past she she was my you know,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: she was everybody's passive before she was past A. But yeah,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: but like this is just this is at this time,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: she was my best friend that just happened to have
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: a ministry engagement. So you you hadn't submitted on her
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: leadership yet, no, wow, No, but you know, like I was,
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: so I would always make sure that, you know, she
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: had clips and stuff like that. So yeah, so you know,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I made it and then I think I asked and
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: she was just like no. We all just pulled up
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: in the parking lot at the same time, like we did.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: We didn't go together at all, We just all but
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: at the same time it just so happened. We all
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: had got McDonald's on our own, like it wasn't.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: But that's the thing. I was about abandonment though, because
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: i've that's something real bad. When I tell you I'm clingy,
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I can be. And it took my sister to say it,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: like two weeks ago. She was like, girl, you want
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: to be on my skin? I said, real bad because
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I still lonely, like real bad. I ain't got no man.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: But it's just a lot going on that I ain't
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: got no man. You know, I ain't got no man.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Like so, and that's not
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: the only thing that she got a man, you know what. Okay,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: that's the whole other story.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: I know, I know, I know I didn't say it
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: the soul glow right about it.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad that okay, all right, but real so
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: I'm dealing with all of that, not because she got it,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: but I know transition, transition is here. It is here, okay,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: So I know earlier, Lord, I hear you, we're gonna
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: we might have to come back to this abandonment thing
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: one day, and because we're gonna have a conversation. Okay,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: if y'all didn't know you a licensed therapist, right, life coach? Okay? Cool, Yeah,
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: you don't have to be licensed to be a life no,
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: but she be life coaching, y'all. So I didn't know
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: which one is there close? When you got Holy Spirit
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: and you got you the life coach, it feels like there. Okay.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: So that's why I said this. So let's go back
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: to transition, because I don't think it's by happenstands that
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: you're talking about that, and I would love to talk
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: about transition and friendships because I'm gonna call you past
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: A right now. Pastor A. You didn't I've only known
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: you for about a chroma time, and you didn't been
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: through some things and the way you walk through them,
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: I was just like, WHOA. When I well, when I
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: was made aware about your husband passing, I was just
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: I remember just being in my room and I was
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: I was. I wasn't panicking, but I was like, oh
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: my gosh, this can't happen.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: It wasn't far after I had done the second conference
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: with d Yeah, it was weeks later.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: It was weeks later. We had just seen you and
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: so all in my mind, my main question this is
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: the one number one question I have for you guys,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: How do you help your friend through a level of
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: grief like that, unexpected grief like that? Your presence. You know,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: there were times when, like I think the first three
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: four days, I spent the night and I was, you know,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: spent the night. Now I was going to work, you know,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: and just being there. You know, sometimes we would talk,
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: you know, sometimes we wouldn't. Sometimes we crack jokes, sometimes
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: we wouldn't. You know, it's just presence, you know. When
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: she would want to talk, you know, I would talk.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: You know, I would.
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: Switching the council mode and I was switching the best
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: friend mode.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: So there's no script, you know. And I had to
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: be careful and be strong because like like that was
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: my brother, you know what I'm saying, And so I couldn't.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: I had to make sure that when when we were
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: talking that I was okay because I didn't wanna pull
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: her down low. And then now she trying to console me,
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: so you j just showing up. There's no there there,
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Like I can't. I can't tell, you know, like I've
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: never lost a husband, so I don't know how she feels. Yeah,
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: but I've lost a father who is extremely close to me. Yeah,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: so I know what it feels like to lose someone
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: that's close to you, and I can remember what I
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: needed at that time, So you know that's what I
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: just I tried to be mm you know. So for
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: you pastor a like, how with you being what I
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: know as a what I is considered a strong You
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: very strong and not in a way to where you're stubborn,
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: but you're very like I can take care of this
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: type of thing. You've been through a lot to be
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: able to say that in season and as in that
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: particular season, how did you learn how to allow people
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: to be there for you in that most uh tender moment?
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: I don't think. I think I really had a choice
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: because this was different. This loss was different. I had
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: experienced a lot of losses prior, but this one was different,
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: and it was a loss that I didn't get to choose.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: Vulnerability it vulnerability was there. I had to be like.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: I didn't have no other choice because every other loss
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I always had to manage everything. So I really didn't
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: have the opportunity to really grieve because my younger sister
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: I gotta handle things. My oldest sister I gotta handle things.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: When my husband's father died, you know, he wasn't in
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: a good space, so you know, I'm going to Dallas
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: to handle his stuff. Do his mom died, He was
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: an only child, he was emotionally tapped out. I handled everything,
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: so you know, every time there's been grief, I've always
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: handled everything, so I never got a chance to really
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: sit in the grief. But when this happened, it was
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: a gut punch and it hit different and forced me
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: to face every other loss that I had never faced.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: So I don't think people understand not only was I
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: dealing with Sean, I was dealing with every other loss
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: prior that I never got an opportunity to sit in.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: And so I had no other choice because it knocked
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: me down. It knocked me down and knocked me out,
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: meaning like breathless, you know. So I didn't I couldn't
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: handle it the same. It was just different. It pushed
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: me in ato a different space place. They all saw
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: me in a way that they've never seen me before.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: Even my child different. It was hard for him because
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: he had never saw me like that. He always saw
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: me founcing back from everything. But I couldn't do that
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: with this one. So I really had no other choice
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: but to allow people to be present. And I mean
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: my whole family stayed at my house for two weeks,
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: probably every day people would go home.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Because it was.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: No, it was, yeah, it was, yeah, it was because
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: you remember, that's why I couldn't go to the hospital
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: with him because of COVID and you couldn't get in
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: because it was it was probably getting ready to write
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: before the transition out, but yeah, it was still hospitals
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: were still pretty full, which is why he didn't get
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: the care that he needed because the hospital was full,
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: and so because he never got out of the emergency room.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: So you know, but anyway, that's a whole another store.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I didn't have a I didn't have a
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: choice because it pushed me into vulnerability, you know, because
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: of how it happened, because of the snatching and you know,
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: just one day here, one day gone. Yeah, there was
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: a lot, and so my family, I had to let
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: people hold me up. But I had no other choice.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: I literally had no other choice.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: So thank you for sharing sharing that that was a
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: personal question that wasn't necessary for y'all. I need to
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: know that for myself because I was like, how in
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: the world you know? I know that you guys been
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: been friends for a long time, and I'm assuming that
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: you guys have had other people that, like you already
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: announced that you had that one friend. It just didn't
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: work out how And I know for you you said
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: that the Lord told you. But I'm wondering how for
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: you because she she don't play and she's gonna tell you. Well,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I know she does know, but.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: She don't get into it.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: She'll tell you the She's gonna tell you what she's
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: gonna tell you. So I'm wondering, like the navigation, what
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: it was for you that's like, oh, I know this
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: is my friend, Like I know without like that, with
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: the transition, without a shadow out making the decision like
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go through this, I'm gonna go through this abandonment,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go through this feeling of being triggered. I'm
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: gonna go through this, and then I'm gonna announce it
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: to her, Like what is that thing that keeps you
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: going back to her? I think we were already close friends.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: But I think for me, what like nail put the
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: nail in the coffin is when I was I think
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I was licensed to preach. And I had a sofa
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: that looked like a cat had scratched it and like
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: the letter was peeling off of it and and everything.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: And Lynn had organized for some of my soros to
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: come to from New York to the licensing ceremony, and
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: that was one surprise. But she got she bought a
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: cover to cover the sofa, and I okay, but.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: When to that, like, that's how different we are different? Please?
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: You know it was her covering that sofa because like
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: you were covering okay, you were covering me?
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because I knew how she felt about it, like
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: he was embarrassed about it. At that time, she didn't
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: have the money to buy a new sofa, and so
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: I was like, you know, I'm not gonna let them come.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: And you know, I know how she felt about it.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: So you cover her? And so that that that was
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: like and that was it for me. No, this I
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: understand the cover And this brings up a story, uh
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: with Desiree and she covered she covered me. I was
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: sitting there. We went to Applebee's after recording y'all. I
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: told I've been very honest with y'all about my financial state.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: That the Lord has been press processing me. Okay, talk
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: about transition, but no, this was this was actually last year.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: And we were sitting there and I in my mind,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I had just looked at my account and I knew,
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: I just I knew I had the fun we had Applebee's. Y'all.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: This ain't this ain't it should be easy payment. I'm
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: sitting there and we're just talking or whatever, and we celebrating, uh,
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: celebrating just asked because it was just their birthday. I mean,
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: we're just sitting there and we got somebody else with us,
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: and then I get to this time to pay, and
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: I get to look at like, oh, which called I'm
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: gonna use? And then none of them added up to
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: what I thought was in there. So I was like,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: of course, I'm I'm shame, a quick shame, quick embarrassment.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: I'm up here, like I'm texting my trying to trying
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: to be discreet. I mean, I say, trying trying my best.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: All I feel all I see her do. She took
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: my receipt and she just looked at me and just
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: we went back to the conversation. I called it afterwards
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: and I was just like, thank you, and I just
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: started crying because I'm the one that I'm I'm I'm
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: the one who got together. I've never been in this
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: low financially in my life, so I don't even know
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: how to navigate this. I didn't have to even y'all,
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: please don't cry yet, don't do it. I didn't have
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: to open my mouth. And that's something that people like,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: people like you should ask for help.
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: I should not have to ask for everything.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just a look you should if I'm spending
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: this much time with you, it's something in you your
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: holy spirit better check in and say, hey, what's going
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: on here? And that's what Like that was my biggest
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: like I will never forget that day because I was
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: sitting there embarrassed because with somebody in my mind that
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: was very prominent, like I'm just like, oh my gosh,
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: I'm building this relationship and then I look broke. You
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. She covered me, and so I
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: think that would that's a profound thing, like are you
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: willing to cover me? Not coddle me? Because sometimes we
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: can get that like that coddling stuff, because neither one
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: of y'all look like y'all y'all call so I think
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: that it's I think that's so important, the whole idea
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: of when she covered me, that's when I knew, That's
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: when I knew it. And I think it's important to
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: bring up like what it takes to cover and I
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: think you can talk about that, like what what I
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: mean by that is, not only does it take a willingness,
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: but do you feel like there is an assignment attached
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: to covering her? Well?
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: First of all, I believe that there are friendships that
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: are divine and designed by God. You know, just as
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: much as God will place the significant other in your life,
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: I believe that friendships God places as well. Not all
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: of them, you know, some of them are just transactional,
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: you know, some some are relational for a season, and
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: then there are some that are for a lifetime, and
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: God does that. I think that a person, any anointed person,
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: has to have a friend that's anointed to be their friend.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: Any chosen person has to have a friend that's anointed
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: to be their friend because they gotta be able to
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: cover you properly, and you cannot do that without the
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: leading of the Holy Spirit. Anybody great, if you're gonna
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: be the friend of anybody, great or on their way
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: to greatness. It's not for free. It's gonna cost you.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: You gonna get some darts, You're gonna get some you're
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: gonna get some fire, you gonna get some residue from
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: that friendship just by virtue of your proximity to that
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: oil or that annointing.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: Gonna cost you. You know, I tell people all the time,
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: it's not it's my friendship paint for free, you know,
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: and it hers is the same way. It's not, you know,
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: because I respect what's on her life and I'm always
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: telling her, you know her And Chris was just teasing
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: me the other day when we were out to eat, like,
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: you know, Mama, she a shift in a minute to
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: come say. Then she'll be telling saying, you know how
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: great you are? And well, that's just who I am.
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm the person that speaks destiny into people,
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: you know, just by happens. Then that's just what I do.
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it's there have been seasons where I've covered her.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: There have been seasons where she's covered me without saying
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: I'm covering you, without announcing I'm covering you, but being
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: tapped in to know, right, now she needs to be
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: covered what she needs to be covered, you know, And
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: it just happens organically. And I believe that happens when
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: it is a destiny friendship. You know it, you show
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: up differently in it, you know. Yeah, And there have
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: been times when we've had to evaluate are we gonna
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: go in further with the friendship, because the friendship is
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: beyond just liking each other, which we do like each other.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: We like each other, do well, we travel well together
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: like everybody can't trouble with us. And it's not a
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: being funny because what people don't understand about us is
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: we're together, but we're not together when we get to
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: the destination. We're not even with each other because we
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: like doing totally separate different things. She loves the pool.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: I love the beach. So I'm gonna be out on
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: the beach by myself for hours. She'll be at the
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: pool by herself hour. We're not even together.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: She kids up early.
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: I don't. She up at six bye, and I'm like bye,
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: because I'm not getting up. I don't care what you do.
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: I'm not getting up. I'm up, but I'm not getting up.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm gonna lay for a couple of hours
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: or six o'clock, she up, she out, you know, and
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: I be like, see you later. And it's nothing like
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: we are so independent of each other and we're not
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: cold dependent, and I think people think that we are
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: and we're not. And so it's hard to travel with
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: us if you are co dependent, because I ain't think
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: about where Paulo at a someone during the day. We're
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: gonna say, hey, you hungry, and then we'll meet up.
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: Like people do not realize that we be on a
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: We're in a whole.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: Nother cu.
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: Each other oh day because we do our own thing.
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: Even when we were going to Africa, the first hotel,
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: we don't stay together, so we're staying toll in separate
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: rooms and everything we stay at, Miss Susan, I don't
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: even know what the name of the hotel is. When
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: we get to.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Nairobi, I can't think of it.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: But then when we get to we're together when we
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: stay at the big places. Yeah, and then like by
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: the time we get to the end of the trip,
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: we just like I'm tired of you, Like I'm ready
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: to go home now, Like I haven't had another like
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: my pap lettering and my linen has reached its living,
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: you know, and we ain't.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: No love lost.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: We just then when we get home, we don't talk
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: to each other for day. No, because we hadn't been
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: together for days and we tied to each other. And
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: it's not we we're just.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: Tidy you talking. We're talking to people we hadn't been
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: together to a two weeks straight. And then we're gonna
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: come back here and record people think. Really, if people
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: think I'm in desert skin, she in mind, like, so
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but no, Now we have our moments when we're
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: gonna be on the beach or the pool or whatever.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: I may say, I'm coming to the pool. Yeah, and
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: we then we chopping it up for hours. But that's
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: few and far between. Because but the problem is that,
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: well not the problem. The thing is both of us
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: have mastered individuals.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: I was just about to say that, because that's that's
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: because you get out my mind, get out the whole.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: We're in the same part of the Holy Spirit. Okay. No,
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: I was just about to say that because I think
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: where people go wrong in friendship is not knowing who
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: they are. And I think that that's something that I've
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: learned in this friendship that I hadn't really learned and
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: other friendships, right, And I think what you're saying is
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: I can be a friend, but I can still be me.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we're too totally individual. I remember even when
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: we first when I first started preaching, like people would
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: compare me and her. I don't know if they said
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: anything to you, but you know, but we have two
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: totally different styles. Yeah, too, totally different and like, I'm
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: confident in it, and you know, there was there has
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: never been any competition. It's always been iron shopping iron
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: you know, Like I'll be like, oh, you you know
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: she could sing, I can't, So like I'm like, I'm
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: gonna close with a story and she'd be like, okay,
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: like you closing like that? Okay, Like I'm fining, you know.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: But it was never competition. It was just making each other,
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: you know, better, And that's what. Yeah, Like we are
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: two totally different individuals, and we're introverts too. We are introverts.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: Like like when we're on, we're on. Like that was
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: one of the things that we said this. I was like,
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: you know, we're gonna be on this whole weekend, you know.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: We have to prepare ourselves.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: No real, Yes, it's real because it's a lot. Yeah,
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: I'm an ambrovert, Okay, so I'm so a mixture of both.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: So like I can be around people, but then once
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: my I'm empty, I need it. My people need to
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: gotta go. And like even there's a right now because
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: now we're doing a lot of traveling together. When I
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: get quiet and she started all that talking, I'll give her.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: I'll give her a look. DESI ray, I'm tired. I'm
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: riddy though, And next second I'm sleepy. Don't talk to
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: me no more, like I'm done, like okay, and go
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: back to typing and doing whatever she is on the computer.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: Not tell to ten she's doing so for TPC. I'm
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: just she's doing so for TPC. Okay, It's always something.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: If it's not just, it's always so. I'm so glad.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad y'all brought that up what I'm thinking
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: about right now, because I don't want to negate that.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: You said you have to be anointed to and have
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: an assignment. No, what did you say? Appointed for chosen to.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: Be the friend of a chosen person.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: So I'm gonna be very transparent. We literally just had
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: this conversation when we was at Woman Evolved Evolved, and
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: I asked her because everybody was just coming up to
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: me or whatever. I'm the people keep calling me, You're
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: the faith, You're the you're the talent, You're the this,
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: and Desertray does that, and it makes me because I
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: don't ever want her to feel like I'm belittling her,
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: or even I would not even want nobody to feel
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: like they can because I am Jessica and Smith from
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: the West side of Birmingham, Alabama, and I will show that, okay,
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: like period, Okay, she there, she just annoints it. Okay.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: So I think managing the thought of like pastor a,
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: you have that same like I see myself in you
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: and you you kind of make it's almost like you
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: have helped with the systems. How do y'all how have
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: y'all been able to balance that, especially the fact that
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: you have submitted under her leadership at TPC.
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: I've always supported her like it was always.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: Suppoor is different than submission though, well okay, so submission
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: like it's always been like Lynn like it was always
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: like man, when you get big, like I'm gonna be
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: traveling with you, Like, it was always like get Lan
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: out there, get Lan out there, get Lnt out there,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: you know, let me know, like always, and she's always
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: been like no, Nigro, Like you got something. I'm like, yeah, okay,
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: what you problem. I'm sure her bad because that's the
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: only reason why she's on this camera. And so yeah,
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: so submitting is not an issue because like I see
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: what's on a life, like you could be Helen Keller
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: and you can see what's on a life. You know
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So, but how do you not allow
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: the because the oil is real, you know what I'm saying.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: And it's not comparing or whatever, right, but just being real,
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: like she is your pastor. She's not lying when she's there.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: She is pastor a right, and some people don't know
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: how to navigate. I'm not land right now, I'm not
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: you know, we're not buddy, Buddy, I am. I am
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: leading this flock. You're a part of the flock right now.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: And some people will take something that pastor A said
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: and transition it to lin Oh you know what I'm saying,
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: and he you don't do that. But how have you
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: been able to manage that? Just I think spiritual maturity.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: I think it's spiritual mature. Like I've been sat down
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: by past day, you know what I'm saying, and I
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: was like, I mean, and I was like, I'm going
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: to go to this church. I'm gonna go to this church.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: I'm you know, like I was gonna leave. Pauletta wanted
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: to leave, you know what I'm saying, But like she said,
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I know what God
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: has said about this friendship, you know, and I'd be
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: a fool to leave, you know, especially because personally and
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: spiritually I've grown so much up under her leadership. So
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: I'd be dumb to leave, you.
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: Know what I'm saying.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: And so it's never Now there have been times when
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: she and I have been talking and I'm talking to
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: Lynn and then Pastor and I'll be like, but I.
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: Usually announce it. Yeah you know, I'm finna be your pastor.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: Right, you know now, I usually say that.
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: She will like, I'll say I announced I'm shifting because
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: I feel the shift come. Yeah, you know, And it's
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: kind of like I ain't playing with you now, you
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: know when Lin plays with you, now, I'm not playing
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: with you kind of like you know, because len will
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: play with you, ain't playing with you like I'll switch out,
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: but I'll so think about the level of maturity you
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: have to have to be able to be in a friendship,
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: to be best friends with a person that also leads you.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: That's not easy. It's because I've had to correct. I've
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: had to be hard, I've had to be tough, I've
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: had to sit down. I've had to do all of
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: it where you know what I'm saying, and navigating those
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: seasons of that. You know, and people people mistake our
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: friendship the wrong way. Let me go all the way
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: back because something you said in the beginning, I don't
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: know if it was even being taped when you talked
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: about so many people have never experienced healthy friendship, so
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: when they see healthy friendship, they can't believe it's healthy friendship.
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: So they'll say they must be gay.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: Child. Come on, I'm just going gay.
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: They like each other, you know, that's why opraen Gael gay.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: You understand what I'm.
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: Saying, Because people don't know authentic friendship, so you know,
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: they got to be touching each other. There's no way
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: in the world they'nt how hog sick people think though,
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: because what it is is is it something they've never
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: experienced and is so authentic, it can't be that off.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: So people start tearing it down with their perceptions because
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: they really don't understand real friendship and because all they
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: see is the highlight reels come on. They don't see
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: the lower bar season that we've navigated when we was
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: wondering if we still findn't even really be friends because
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: I'm tired of you. You know what I'm saying it is,
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: and we've had those seasons the sea, Well, I'm so hard,
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: and so I can be very rigid, I can be
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: very I can be very you can't tell me nothing.
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: Seasons not an arrogance, but when I'm made up in
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: my mind because she deals with abandon but I deal
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: with rejection, and they look a lot like you. J yeah,
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: okay yeah. And so when I when I'm in that
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: season of thinking something is a way that it ain't
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: and you can't tell me it ain't because because because
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: rejection telling me it is, you know what I'm saying.
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: And then she in that season where she can be
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: verity territorial. People that deal with abandonment can be very territorial.
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: And there and mostly everything I've had to do with
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: Paul Letter has been because she has taken territory that
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: doesn't belong to us. And I'm not trying to be funny.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: I love her, but I have to be like, hey, listen,
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: you're the manager. You're not the owner, because I'm not
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: the owner either. I'm the manager, you know. And sometimes
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: because of her fear, you know, in that area, you
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: know what I mean, she will she will take over,
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: not meaning and it ain't no harm, it's just what
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: she will do. And me, because of my fear of rejection,
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: sometimes I will perpetrate my feelings into something and that's
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: not really what it is, but us being able to
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: understand that this is who I am, this is who
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: I am, this is my downfall. That's my downfall, this
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: is my short coming, that's my short coming. It also
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: helps navigate, you know. Just I think the last little vacation,
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: it wasn't a vacation. People thought we was on vacation,
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: but what they really didn't know is we took somebody somewhere.
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: But because we never talked about it, other people, Oh,
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: they just went out somewhere. May they ain't tell nobody
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: when they didn't even understand.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: It was a ministry for somebody else.
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: That somebody we saw sinking and we took them somewhere,
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: you know, as a gift to them because we love them. Yeah,
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: we saw them sinking. But because it didn't nobody know
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: what we were it was they must have snugged folks don't even.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: Be knowing it. It wasn't even about him.
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: Now we were do understand.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: That fact.
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: We went on the beach and I said to her, Okay,
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: tell me about me and I'll do this random movie.
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: I said, tell me about me, tell me what you see,
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: because I also know she can see. Yeah, I said,
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: tell me about me. I'm not gonna defend myself. I said,
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: I'm talking. I don't hold nothing, but this is so good. Yeah.
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: And I just sat there and she just kept going
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: if just like, okay. I thought this is gonna be
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: about fifteen minutes, you know, but it was okay because
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: I wanted to hear it because I knew it was
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: coming from good place.
• 46:42
  Speaker 5: Now.
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: She did not hold anything back. She was like, you this,
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: you that, you do this, you do that, you do that,
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: you do that, And I was just like yeah, And
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: I never defended myself.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: I love. I think that's such an important important place
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: because I'll just be transparent with you. Sometimes I was
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: closed out because y'all deal with two things separately that
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: I deal with together together. And so and so does
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: a rate so DESI ate older than me. I don't
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: know if y'all know that. Yeah, I'm the younger. I'm
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: the young tender because how old are you? I'll be
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: thirty nine okay technically soon. Yeah, So she's knocking on
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: forty's door. I'm just entering into my thirties real good,
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And so, but she don't
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: ever treat me like, oh, I'm older than you, blah
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: blah blah blah. So I can respect her for that,
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: but like coming to her is different from me because
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: it's like it's almost like she navigated and said, Okay,
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: this is what Justica's doing, this is what she don't like.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna still be direct. I ain't gonna never
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: forget the first time she was direct with me, and
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: I was like, I know, I know, I kind of cooked.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: I ain't gonna lie to y'all. I like, she just
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: said this to me, and then I had to come
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: back and apologize to her because I knew it was coming.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: I had to realize where it was coming from. But
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: I also had to realize announce to her. It's like, hey,
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: I realized that I deal with this, and when this
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: come up, please don't take a fix to it. It's
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: just you bring the goodness in you. This is so good.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: The goodness in you is getting all this gunk, all
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: this rejection, all this abendment, every lie I believed about
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: women in my life. You're doing some healing and you're
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: touching areas I have never allowed people to be touched before.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: And it's uncomfortable. You're seeing I tell people all the time,
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: you're seeing me naked, doesn't race, sees me nikked like
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: we in the garden of even okay, like prior to
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: the tree, yeah, prior to the tree before we talked
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: about fig leaves and stuff. But and so it takes
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: a special person, especially when you are anointed. It's it's
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: very you about to be very mindful. And so when
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: people I want to say this to what Pastor A
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: was talking about, just like if you're not to a place,
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: God is not gonna allow you to try to damage
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: what has already been produced, right, and so it took
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: a lot of work. And so I think not only
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: her willingness, but her having to be anointed to support
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: your anointing. You have to realize that. And if you
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: don't realize your anointing or are not open to understanding
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: your annointing, you will never be with certain people that
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: you think that you deserve to be around. And so
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: I think that's important. I think that's important to note.
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: Des already, You've been talked about this whole time. Love,
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: So I'm gonna give you the floor because we even
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: talked about you real bad. I mean, what are your
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: thoughts is? You know, I think this was a great
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: conversation because I think at the end of the day,
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people haven't seen healthy friendships.
• 49:47
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: I had somebody apparently think that I liked girls. I
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: don't know why, you know why, but I just thought that,
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: and to me, that just made me realize, like, dang,
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: like people really don't have not really seen genuine like
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: female friendships. Right. But what I'm grateful for though, is
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: that as I've been on this journey with the Lord,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: is that I had to ask for that I had
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: to ask for genuine friendships because of what I realized
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: some of my some of the friendships that I thought
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: were friendships are really just transactional when I thought they
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: were like relational. Right, So in this season, all the
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: pieces that are in my life right now that I
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: know are God ordained relationships, they're stretching me really bad,
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: you know, And that's how I know. I'm like, Lord,
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: you actually gave me what I was asking for. I
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: just didn't know it was gonna look like this, you know.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: And so I'm able to show up as my authentic self.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: But I'm also learning it's helping me to understand like
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: who I am and what I have, because I think
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: when you're a connect, when you're dan for somebody, it's
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: it's two sides. So what you have they need, and
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: what they have you need in order to become who
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: God is calling you both to be. So I think
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: this is a beautiful conversation of friendships because at the
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: end of the day, sometimes people see see you on
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: see you out there seeing on the platform, but they
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: don't really get to know like you as a person.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: They don't really get to know like some of the
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: back ends and what actually really helps support in the
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: spaces that we're in. So thank you guys for just
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: being well. I know he's gonna be transparent and honestly,
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: but I just think that if people are listening one,
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: they can see themselves where they are, like, hey, am
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: I the person in a relationship they need to come up?
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: Or am I you know calling people like you know
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: you realize like uh, because I think we have a
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: hard time being transparent and taking accountability, you know, for
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: where we are. And I think every every relationship in
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: my life is doing that right now, Like I'm literally
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: having to examine like where I am. I'm like okay
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: and giving it to the Lord and asking what is
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: it supposed to look like? You know? And so I'm hoping,
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: prayer that the listeners they're listening and this is just
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: the part of transformation. I think you said earlier, like
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: transformation really starts on the inside. Growth starts from the inside,
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: and we just have to be open to that because it.
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: Don't feel good, Jesus.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: Don't It does not feel good. That was really good,
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: does ray you?
• 52:16
  Speaker 5: Man?
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: So I think she preach I think the classes that
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: she was going through which you were going back around
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: No and she takes them things seriously, like y'all. I
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: tell y'all, she loved y'all real bad. I love y'all.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: She who loves She really makes it easy. I'm so
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: grateful for y'all, And this came be the last time.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: I really think that there's so much more that we
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: could have delved into. But I know that y'all have
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: an engagement to go to. But as in a tradition,
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: as a tradition of just ass, I want you guys
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: to have the final words. So if there was anything
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: that was burning on your heart or even from this
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: conversation that you want to land to play, you know,
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: I want to give you guys the floor.
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna say this. I didn't know I needed
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: a Linn. I did not know.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: I didn't know.
• 53:16
  Speaker 6: I have Okay, I can't know what.
• 53:29
  Speaker 4: I did not know, Thank you God.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: I did not know that I needed a lin in
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: my life. Lynn has brought me up in so many areas,
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: spiritually and naturally. One thing in particular. You know, I
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: used to be like, you know, as long as I
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: could pay my bills, I'm good, And she was just like, no,
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: what are you talking about? You?
• 53:50
  Speaker 4: You should be able to live in abundance, you know, because.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: That's what's promised to you, you know, and to be
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: in that season of abundance, come on, yet.
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: Your dash, my friend?
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: What you said to be?
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 54:11
  Speaker 5: Okay, God, I don't understand because you know, you know,
• 54:16
  Speaker 5: I like I had a ratty couch because I really
• 54:19
  Speaker 5: couldn't afford, you know, but to be in the season
• 54:22
  Speaker 5: when and I mean, I'm just like, you know, like
• 54:26
  Speaker 5: we're trying to plan something.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like, man, let's go, just I got it. Don't
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: even worry about it. You know what I'm saying. I've
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: never been there ever, you know, and I know it's
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: because I changed my language because of her. Not my pastor,
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: but my best friend, you know. So I didn't know
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: that I needed a lenk And my life has been
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: the better because of her. And even in those times
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: when we were in in the ugly place, I was sick,
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: physically sick, because I'm just like, do life without her?
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: Our lives are so ingrained, you know. I'm in the
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: family text you know, you know.
• 55:13
  Speaker 5: You.
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: Know, like her nieces they called me t T and
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: will fight a bear if you be like, that's just
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: no that's my t T, you know. So I thank
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: God that that he was just like, I know exactly
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: what you.
• 55:28
  Speaker 4: Need and and and he gave it to me.
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: Now I'm not gonna cry, but I feel the same
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: exact way I wish I could cry. I want to
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: cry and stuff like that. I do like I want
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: to cry like that and stuff, but it just won't come.
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: I think I cried so much in my life that
• 55:48
  Speaker 3: my til ducks on vacation. But I mean, I'd be
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: wanting to be like it just won't happen, even if
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: I try to change, wious like it won't happen. But
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: I think feel the same way. You know, I really
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: do feel the same way. The biggest thing that Paul
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: Letter has taught me in this friendship is how to
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: stop running away. Because all my life I've mastered how
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: to run away. But this is the first friendship that
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: God and her wouldn't let me leave because I'd be like,
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, which is not healthy, let's
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: be real. But she has taught me how to stay.
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: That's another thing she has taught me, how to stay.
• 56:36
  Speaker 3: The second thing that she has taught me is is
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: that there really is somebody that has your back with
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: no ulterior motives. If anything go down in my life
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: right now, I ain't calling my family members, and I
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: love my family. She gonna be the first if it's
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: on my need, she gonna be the first one I call.
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: If it's something going, she gonna be the first one
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: my call because I know, without a shadow of a doubt,
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: not because she said it, but because she showed it
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: in every season. I got you. Yeah, and it's real,
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: it's authentic. She got me, She got me, And for
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: a little girl who grew up never really having anyone
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: to have me, that's a blessing.
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: So yeah, So while y'all were talking, I was reminded
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: of one of my favorite scriptures, my first favorite scripture,
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: and that's Proverbs seventeen seventeen. A friend loves at all times,
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: and a brother is born for adversity, And I always well,
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: the first interpretation of that of that scripture is the
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: transition from friend to brother. Right, And the reason why
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: I feel like the Lord is really tugging at this
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: topic of friendship, true friendship, genuine friendship meaning for friendship
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: is because that we do we are too easily disposable
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: of friendships because it doesn't make us feel good or
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: it makes us stretch beyond what we saw ourselves. But
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: I do believe that the responsibility of friends and friendship
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: is because the Lord is uniting people around you that
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: could maybe have a different aspect of life that will
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: pull something different from you. Because sometimes it's certain things
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: that your family won't be able to do. It, certain
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: things that people that have been too close around you,
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: but you when you get some new win, when you
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: get some new revelation, when you get new things, it's
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: certain things you'll be able to see and it will
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: unlock in you their desiree has done. The way they
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: talking about each other, we're using the same language, and
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: y'all get to see that every week. And so another
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: reason why I'm glad they are on is its evidence
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: that it's real, like it's not you, it's not it's
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: tangible too, like it's very tangible, especially when you're walking
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: in the orderness of God. And so I pray that
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: you guys received something from their testimony. They're gonna be back,
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: because pather A has already been back. But me and
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: me and Paul got a talk back because she was
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: she was talking real good. It was certain things I said,
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: stay on topic, stay on top, stay on topic, but no,
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: it's so good. And also being beyond thirty thirty plus
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: all of us are thirty plus.
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: Right, she's older than me.
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: You were saying she's older than me. I mean I'm
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: older than I am about to say. She just said that. Yeah, yeah,
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: I'm older. So even in that, just be open to
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: what God has designed for you. Just be open to friendship,
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: be open to just being a better version of yourself
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: with somebody going with you. Okay, And so I love
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: you guys. Thank y'all. So you y'all, hope y'all gonna come,
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: y'all gonna come back. Yeah, we'll come back. Don't say
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: aggress Yes we went.
• 59:56
  Speaker 4: Oh my God like wall.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow. I know y'all got church. But I love you, Desiray,
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: love you girl. You got a friend in me always.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: Oh bye bye boys, y'all. We love you guys until
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: next week. Until next time. Remember, life could be much
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: more simple if you just ask thank you for tuning
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: in to this week's episode. Since you've made it this far,
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: you might as well connect with us on all social
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: media platforms at the Jessica s. Smith. I know I
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: won't see you back until next week, but until then,
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: remember to love always yourself and always thank thank God
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: for one another day.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: Hey, hey, I know we could be another way. Hey, ray,
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: thank God for another day? Hey hey, I'm just thankful
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: another day. Hey Hey, another day? Oh, another day wise,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: another day to get it right, another day to rise up,
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: another day living. Another day we loved ones. I always
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: remember hold it down for a ball, one ye