Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / Two Jersey Js: Blossoming Bialik

Transcript

Two Jersey Js: Blossoming Bialik · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

0:01
Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, it's Jackie gl Schnider and Jen Fessler. We
0:05
Speaker 1: are two Jersey Jays, and oh my goodness, I'm so
0:09
Speaker 1: excited for today's show.
0:11
Speaker 2: Today is like, this episode is Jackie's baby.
0:14
Speaker 3: I know.
0:15
Speaker 1: I have been a fan of my and b Elic
0:18
Speaker 1: since I can't even tell you, since the first time
0:21
Speaker 1: I saw her in Beaches, which is a movie that
0:23
Speaker 1: breaks my heart.
0:24
Speaker 3: I can't even watch it anymore.
0:25
Speaker 1: But she has just like always been larger than life
0:29
Speaker 1: to make agreed, and somebody with that career longevity, I'm
0:32
Speaker 1: just I'm so I'm so eager to ask her, like
0:36
Speaker 1: what that's been like.
0:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean I was an avid Blossom watcher.
0:41
Speaker 2: Of course, Beaches is I can't watch so funny after Kids,
0:44
Speaker 2: It's really kind of a hard movie to watch, right.
0:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, anything with kids, like losing a parent or a
0:50
Speaker 1: parent losing a kid.
0:52
Speaker 3: Since having children, I cannot. I've never seen terms of do.
0:56
Speaker 3: I can't. I can't. It's too heartbreaking.
0:58
Speaker 1: And then I get sad, like I car the sadness
1:00
Speaker 1: with me, So I can't watch those. But she's just
1:03
Speaker 1: been like larger than life, like I said, But what
1:06
Speaker 1: I really want to talk to her about is you know,
1:09
Speaker 1: you and I have discussed this, like this focus on
1:13
Speaker 1: what brings you true authentic happiness in middle age and
1:17
Speaker 1: how to live your best life in middle age. So
1:19
Speaker 1: I'm very curious to hear about how her meaning of
1:23
Speaker 1: success may have changed over the years.
1:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I mean you and I were talking
1:27
Speaker 2: earlier about how you know this podcast has we started it,
1:33
Speaker 2: you know, with the idea that it was going to
1:35
Speaker 2: be about middle aged women and our struggles, our successes,
1:39
Speaker 2: our joys, our sorrows, and I think there's so much
1:42
Speaker 2: that comes up episode to episode that, you know, bringing
1:46
Speaker 2: it back to this. I feel like mim is a
1:48
Speaker 2: great gives us a great opportunity to bring it back
1:50
Speaker 2: to how does it feel now as opposed to how
1:53
Speaker 2: it felt then?
1:55
Speaker 3: Yes?
1:55
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, I mean how you change with the whole
1:58
Speaker 2: the aging process, you know, specifically in Hollywood, but just
2:04
Speaker 2: also dealing with, you know, the day to day of
2:06
Speaker 2: getting older. She's not I want to say, she's younger
2:08
Speaker 2: than me, older than you. She is one year older
2:11
Speaker 2: than me, one year older than you.
2:13
Speaker 1: Okay, so we'll introduce her before we bring her in.
2:16
Speaker 3: Though, how have you been.
2:19
Speaker 2: I've been good, good, adjacent good ish. Yeah, yeah, So
2:27
Speaker 2: what's going on? Well, I mean, I'm sort of getting
2:30
Speaker 2: used to still, even though it's my second season on
2:35
Speaker 2: Riho and J I'm still getting used to some stuff.
2:38
Speaker 2: And for me in particular, lately, it's been hard for
2:43
Speaker 2: me to adjust to the change in the way that
2:49
Speaker 2: viewers see me and the way they're reacting on social media.
2:53
Speaker 2: And I didn't think i'd have a problem with that.
2:55
Speaker 2: We've spoken so many times about like when you get
2:57
Speaker 2: to a certain age, the best thing about aging is
2:59
Speaker 2: that you get the you know, who gives a shits
3:02
Speaker 2: like whatever, But so I have some of that creeping in.
3:08
Speaker 2: If I was younger, I think it would be worse
3:11
Speaker 2: and just kind of getting used to the fact that
3:14
Speaker 2: not everyone likes me.
3:16
Speaker 1: It's more than that, though it's the vitriol. It's social
3:20
Speaker 1: media is really hard. And I've been doing this, you know,
3:23
Speaker 1: since twenty eighteen. I'm still not used to it. I
3:26
Speaker 1: still don't like it to go on social media and
3:29
Speaker 1: just see people destroying you. Like I could post the
3:33
Speaker 1: most like like picture of like nothing having to do
3:37
Speaker 1: with the show, and I will just get like one
3:39
Speaker 1: hundred mean comments and like, yeah, you get a little
3:43
Speaker 1: bit numb to it, but it never stopped, at least
3:47
Speaker 1: for me. It doesn't stop hurting your feelings. And like, yes,
3:50
Speaker 1: signed up for it, signed up for a public life,
3:53
Speaker 1: sign up for a reality show life.
3:55
Speaker 3: But it doesn't make it any easier, you know.
3:58
Speaker 2: You know, I always talk about this with my therapist
4:01
Speaker 2: that this show has really like provided me such a
4:06
Speaker 2: mirror image of myself, my own journey, my personality, the
4:14
Speaker 2: way I approach stuff. I could watch episodes and I
4:16
Speaker 2: could see looks in my eyes that I recognize, like,
4:20
Speaker 2: for instance, fear right, which is fear is something I
4:24
Speaker 2: deal with, have been dealing with my whole life. But
4:28
Speaker 2: I see it in my eyes and I see the
4:29
Speaker 2: way that I'm reacting to whomever it is at the time.
4:33
Speaker 2: And it's interesting because it's like, in a way, it's
4:36
Speaker 2: this fabulous microcosm of life. And I guess what I'm
4:40
Speaker 2: getting at is that even like with the social media,
4:42
Speaker 2: so it's now upfront and personal in terms of how
4:46
Speaker 2: people do people like me, do they not? And like
4:48
Speaker 2: what do I do with that information? So as a
4:51
Speaker 2: fifty five year old, you know, I like to think
4:54
Speaker 2: that I'm evolving and that it just doesn't matter. Or
4:57
Speaker 2: when I see myself on the show and there's something
5:00
Speaker 2: that I recognize, I try to like look at it
5:03
Speaker 2: with compassion and give myself compassion and all of these
5:06
Speaker 2: things that I've learned in therapy, and all of that
5:08
Speaker 2: is great in theory, it's harder in practice. So it's
5:12
Speaker 2: some of this is so thrilling. We both know that
5:14
Speaker 2: some of this is like the greatest adventure in other
5:17
Speaker 2: parts of it are hard. But I do think that
5:20
Speaker 2: it's it's like an opportunity. I'm trying to tell myself
5:23
Speaker 2: that it's like an opportunity. When I see people saying
5:26
Speaker 2: mean things about me online, like, that's a great opportunity
5:30
Speaker 2: for me to practice being fifty five. Yeah, and practice
5:35
Speaker 2: like I don't give shit, yeah, and practice not being
5:39
Speaker 2: addicted to social media.
5:41
Speaker 4: Right.
5:41
Speaker 1: I try to Also it's a good lesson in how
5:44
Speaker 1: turning your phone off or stepping away from social media
5:49
Speaker 1: can change your you know, perspective and like help you
5:53
Speaker 1: feel better and more presence. It is hard, though, but
5:57
Speaker 1: all right, I think we are ready for our guests.
6:01
Speaker 2: Oh can I.
6:02
Speaker 1: Well, we have two minutes till she comes in, But
6:04
Speaker 1: I want to tell everybody about her because not everybody
6:06
Speaker 1: loves her the way that we do.
6:08
Speaker 3: I mean they should, but they may not know her that.
6:10
Speaker 2: They don't they don't know her nor I didn't.
6:12
Speaker 3: Mean it like that, like, of course to know her
6:14
Speaker 3: is to love her. But mayan biolac. Where do I start?
6:18
Speaker 1: She has had the most incredible acting career. So she
6:21
Speaker 1: was in her first major movie at twelve, had many
6:24
Speaker 1: many sickcom roles. But I remember her first, like I said,
6:28
Speaker 1: in Beaches with Bette Midler, she was phenomenal. Then she
6:32
Speaker 1: was the star of Blossom, and then the star of
6:35
Speaker 1: Big Bang Theory and movies.
6:38
Speaker 3: She hosted Jeopardy and she's remained.
6:41
Speaker 2: A start, which is so rare, right well, And for
6:44
Speaker 2: those of you that are too young or just never
6:46
Speaker 2: watched Blossom, it's interesting to me because her character on
6:50
Speaker 2: it was so was like this young girl, but she
6:55
Speaker 2: was like so her own person at that time, right,
6:57
Speaker 2: Like didn't she have like the hair was.
6:59
Speaker 3: Like yeah, and she wore the hat hats like yes
7:02
Speaker 3: and flowers.
7:03
Speaker 2: She was sort of this, uh you know, she wasn't
7:06
Speaker 2: cut from the same cloth. She was like a little different,
7:10
Speaker 2: a little eccentric, and it was so cool.
7:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was so cool.
7:13
Speaker 1: But then you think about it, like she's this big
7:16
Speaker 1: a list star. I consider her an a list star,
7:20
Speaker 1: but like, at the core, she's a middle aged woman,
7:22
Speaker 1: a mom Jewish daughter of Eastern European immigrants, like just
7:27
Speaker 1: like us, you know, but she's she's also really brilliant.
7:31
Speaker 1: She's prioritized education throughout her career. She holds a PhD
7:35
Speaker 1: in neuroscience from UCLA. She's an advocate for mental health,
7:40
Speaker 1: and she really doesn't slow down. So I'm really really
7:43
Speaker 1: excited to talk to her.
7:44
Speaker 2: I just want to like pick her brain. I just
7:47
Speaker 2: want to like know how she does coming miyamolic, Like
7:50
Speaker 2: what was that like? And how do I get there?
7:52
Speaker 2: Like what was life like? Yeah, I'm so excited. I
7:55
Speaker 2: think she's here. Okay, Hi, how are you good? We're
8:03
Speaker 2: going to try not to fangirl out. I got a
8:07
Speaker 2: little of that going on. I know Jackie does too.
8:10
Speaker 3: I can just stop. Hi, thank you so much for
8:13
Speaker 3: being on. We're so honored to have you here.
8:16
Speaker 2: We certainly are.
8:17
Speaker 4: Yeah.
8:18
Speaker 2: I love what's going on where you're sitting. Where is that?
8:20
Speaker 4: It's so this is my this is my house, this
8:24
Speaker 4: is my ridiculous like we call it the library. It's
8:27
Speaker 4: just a wall of books, right, Yeah, And I just
8:30
Speaker 4: live in like a weird hundred year old farmhouse, and
8:33
Speaker 4: I'm also wearing overalls, which I realize is really stupid.
8:36
Speaker 4: It's really not.
8:37
Speaker 2: It's really so perfect that I can't stand it. It's
8:39
Speaker 2: just like the whole visual right now is just this.
8:42
Speaker 3: Is really perfect. Yes, it is.
8:43
Speaker 2: We were talking about before you came on, even like
8:46
Speaker 2: going back to Blossom and how you played this character
8:51
Speaker 2: that was not like the traditional how old is Blossom?
8:55
Speaker 2: What was the character?
8:56
Speaker 4: I was fourteenth, I was fourteen to nineteen, so yeah,
8:59
Speaker 4: it was like about the high school. Yeah, but it
9:01
Speaker 4: was like this.
9:01
Speaker 2: It was this girl that was cool and different and
9:05
Speaker 2: like when nobody was maybe a lot of times now
9:08
Speaker 2: I feel like nobody still is. But she had this
9:10
Speaker 2: thing about her and it was, you know, she was
9:13
Speaker 2: left of center and the best possible way, and so
9:17
Speaker 2: which just I was always left of center, not always
9:20
Speaker 2: in the best possible way, but whatever, but it's just
9:23
Speaker 2: it's it was inspiring even back then. And Jackie is.
9:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you know, we could probably talk about all
9:29
Speaker 1: your old roles all day. I could talk about beaches
9:31
Speaker 1: all day, but you know, our podcast really has a
9:34
Speaker 1: focus on middle aged women and what really brings us
9:36
Speaker 1: happiness and enjoy at this age. And you've been doing
9:40
Speaker 1: this NonStop since childhood. So I'm wondering to start if
9:45
Speaker 1: your your definition of success has that changed for you
9:49
Speaker 1: over the years and in middle age.
9:53
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, you know, when I think back, you know,
9:56
Speaker 4: to my blossom years, which, like I said, I was
9:58
Speaker 4: fourteen to nineteen, I'm sorry if that makes everybody feel old.
10:02
Speaker 4: I'm forty eight now.
10:03
Speaker 2: No, wow, that makes me feel old, but sorry.
10:08
Speaker 4: No, I mean I think that, you know, at that time,
10:10
Speaker 4: you know, I had I had started acting when I
10:13
Speaker 4: was eleven, and I know that sounds really young, and
10:15
Speaker 4: it is very young, but I was considered like a
10:18
Speaker 4: late bloomer in the industry because most child actors or
10:21
Speaker 4: teen actors had been acting since they were like two
10:23
Speaker 4: or three. So I always felt like I was one
10:26
Speaker 4: step behind, and I didn't really know how to do it,
10:28
Speaker 4: and I didn't really understand how to navigate the business.
10:31
Speaker 4: So I always felt kind of different even in terms
10:34
Speaker 4: of like understanding success. But you know, I went to
10:38
Speaker 4: college after Blossom ended, and I come from an immigrant family.
10:41
Speaker 4: My grandparents are immigrants from Eastern Europe, and so you know,
10:44
Speaker 4: success was like surviving in America, like that was still
10:47
Speaker 4: what it sort of felt like, was like go to college,
10:50
Speaker 4: like girls can go to.
10:51
Speaker 2: College, you know, yeah, you know, yeah.
10:54
Speaker 4: Like right, like for my grandparents that was like lucky
10:58
Speaker 4: you you get like actually not have to get married
11:01
Speaker 4: at sixteen, you know. So I think for me, academic
11:05
Speaker 4: success was really important. I really liked being sort of
11:09
Speaker 4: appreciated and I'm sure you both you know, can relate
11:12
Speaker 4: to like not just what I can offer you, but
11:15
Speaker 4: like who I am and what you know, what my
11:17
Speaker 4: brain does and how I feel about things. So that
11:20
Speaker 4: was kind of like college. And then I became a mom.
11:23
Speaker 4: You know, I had my first son in grad school.
11:25
Speaker 4: The concept of like success as a mom, Like I
11:28
Speaker 4: was kind of a mom at the I'd say more
11:31
Speaker 4: of the beginning stages of a lot of the competitiveness
11:33
Speaker 4: that we now see is like so so much pressure
11:36
Speaker 4: on women to like do it right and like is
11:38
Speaker 4: your kid achieving what they should and all this stuff.
11:41
Speaker 4: So for me, like the success notion as a parent
11:44
Speaker 4: has been the most intimidating of all, like more than
11:46
Speaker 4: being on Jeopardy, more than you know, trying to get
11:50
Speaker 4: Emmy nominations on the Big Bang Theory. Like more than
11:52
Speaker 4: any of that is like, you know, what do my
11:55
Speaker 4: kids say about me? Right? Like what kind of people
11:58
Speaker 4: are they? And minor eighteen and fifteen? Now, so my.
12:02
Speaker 2: Head is racing with when we're gonna book episode the
12:05
Speaker 2: second episode for this because I'm already like getting like
12:08
Speaker 2: I'm getting like anxious because I want to talk to you.
12:10
Speaker 2: There's so much just about that about the kid thing, right,
12:13
Speaker 2: and what it's like to be someone who is famous
12:16
Speaker 2: and has been since you know, you were a kid,
12:20
Speaker 2: raising kids, and how does that affect all of that?
12:23
Speaker 2: There's like I just I just want to come over
12:26
Speaker 2: and spend the night and and.
12:29
Speaker 4: I'm sure my kids would have a lot to talk.
12:31
Speaker 3: To you about.
12:31
Speaker 2: I will bring mine and believe me, you've been a
12:43
Speaker 2: working actress. You're still a working actress now in your forties,
12:46
Speaker 2: And how does it feel different for you? Obviously it's
12:50
Speaker 2: different from when you were acting as a kid, but
12:52
Speaker 2: the pressure of it all, like as a grown woman
12:55
Speaker 2: as opposed to an adolescent and even a young woman,
12:58
Speaker 2: how does.
12:58
Speaker 3: It feel the pressure?
13:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I noticed the biggest difference when I
13:03
Speaker 4: started on Big Bang Theory, you know, I had a
13:05
Speaker 4: toddler and basically an infant, and I remember at that time,
13:11
Speaker 4: you know, I was already let's say I was thirty three,
13:14
Speaker 4: thirty four or something like that, and I already noticed
13:16
Speaker 4: a huge difference because I had a different life to
13:19
Speaker 4: go home to, and I think, like, before you're a mom,
13:22
Speaker 4: like so much is about like what am I offering
13:25
Speaker 4: the world and what are they seeing of me? And
13:27
Speaker 4: you've got oodles of time to spend them yourself. But
13:30
Speaker 4: you know, once I kind of had to orient you know,
13:33
Speaker 4: as a mom. It was kind of like everything at
13:35
Speaker 4: work was like whatever happens is fine, Like I don't
13:38
Speaker 4: need to be the star of every scene. I don't
13:40
Speaker 4: need to Like if I have one line this week's episode, great,
13:43
Speaker 4: that's more time to nap in my dressing room. You know.
13:45
Speaker 4: Whereas when I was younger, it was like it was
13:48
Speaker 4: more competitive, and I felt that competition more wow. But
13:51
Speaker 4: you know, I think in that sense, like you know,
13:53
Speaker 4: becoming a parent, like it really kind of brings you
13:55
Speaker 4: to your knees, right, it really sobers you up.
13:57
Speaker 2: Do you think other actors feel that way? Like somebody
14:01
Speaker 2: who's not an actor. I feel more that way. I
14:04
Speaker 2: care less about things than I used to things. It
14:07
Speaker 2: seems so important, right, But do you feel like right,
14:10
Speaker 2: because I feel like maybe you are unique in that
14:13
Speaker 2: experience in terms of being an actor celebrity, like you
14:17
Speaker 2: still want as many lines as you can get. But
14:19
Speaker 2: maybe I'm right.
14:21
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I think, Look, I think there's going
14:23
Speaker 4: to be variability. Of course, like I can't speak for
14:25
Speaker 4: all actors, but I also know that, you know, people
14:28
Speaker 4: parent all sorts of different ways, and I think if
14:31
Speaker 4: you have a lot of help, you know, it's distributed differently,
14:35
Speaker 4: whereas like it was kind of just me and my husband,
14:37
Speaker 4: you know, so it was kind of like I was
14:39
Speaker 4: rushing home to sort of like do stuff and make
14:42
Speaker 4: food and you know, all the things, which you know,
14:44
Speaker 4: I think that's also a very interesting statistic that, like,
14:46
Speaker 4: you know, in the majority of homes where women are
14:49
Speaker 4: the primary breadwinner, they often are still responsible for like housecare, childcare,
14:53
Speaker 4: you know, all those things. So that discrepancy also weighs
14:57
Speaker 4: differently on people, depending on you know, how they parent.
15:00
Speaker 4: But yeah, I think for me, also, like I had
15:02
Speaker 4: spent twelve years kind of away from the industry, and
15:04
Speaker 4: I think that was helpful for me. I think it felt,
15:08
Speaker 4: it felt comfortable. You know. Look, academia is also like
15:11
Speaker 4: a lot of ego, a lot of pressure on women
15:13
Speaker 4: different than then, you know, so it's not like I was, like,
15:16
Speaker 4: you know, sitting on a beach for twelve years, but
15:18
Speaker 4: it's very different, you know, than the pressures of the industry.
15:21
Speaker 4: And look, the other thing is that when I was
15:23
Speaker 4: on Blossom, there was no social media. There was no
15:26
Speaker 4: like like public relations pr machine, like telling you know,
15:30
Speaker 4: especially young women what we should look like or who
15:33
Speaker 4: we should wear. You know, that didn't exist. And when
15:35
Speaker 4: I was on Big Bank Theory, it was like a
15:36
Speaker 4: whole new world, you know, it was a whole new
15:39
Speaker 4: world of being a public person and like Papa Razzi
15:44
Speaker 4: and you know, things like that. So that was also
15:47
Speaker 4: a big difference, which I think for me as kind
15:49
Speaker 4: of an introvert who lives my life as an extrovert,
15:52
Speaker 4: that was also really like a surprising shift. And I was,
15:55
Speaker 4: you know, glad to have kind of some normalcy at home,
15:58
Speaker 4: even if normalcy meant life like you know, sitting on
16:00
Speaker 4: the floor, like you know, reading two small people and
16:03
Speaker 4: making you know, beans and Rice for dinner.
16:05
Speaker 3: Can I ask you've been going for so long?
16:08
Speaker 1: Do you ever feel like so we're both on a
16:11
Speaker 1: reality show and like even though that you watched it now,
16:16
Speaker 1: don't tell me I would put that as zero person.
16:20
Speaker 3: That's kind just like blow my whole picture.
16:22
Speaker 1: But you know, even for for us, like sometimes I
16:25
Speaker 1: get this feeling of like it would be nice to
16:29
Speaker 1: not be so public, like I can I can't imagine
16:31
Speaker 1: your life.
16:33
Speaker 3: Do you do you ever feel that like this draw
16:36
Speaker 3: to live a private life?
16:39
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I think. Look, I think the two
16:41
Speaker 4: of you, you know, have a lot that you could
16:44
Speaker 4: sort of, you know, teach me about this because the line, well,
16:49
Speaker 4: but the line between reality and you know, like the
16:52
Speaker 4: masks that we wear, you know, even on a reality show,
16:55
Speaker 4: like even that like that's not I mean, it's you.
16:57
Speaker 4: And it's very different for me, like I really got
16:59
Speaker 4: to like put on a character and then take it off,
17:03
Speaker 4: you know, for me, like there was there was more
17:06
Speaker 4: of a sense of control or choice you know, around
17:09
Speaker 4: like who's in my space and who knows all those things? So,
17:13
Speaker 4: you know, I think that and look, there's a reason
17:16
Speaker 4: that people enjoy you know, reality television is because it's
17:20
Speaker 4: a it's a form of media that people want to
17:23
Speaker 4: understand and you are, You're getting a totally different perspective.
17:27
Speaker 4: But yeah, I mean I sometimes have that fantasy and look,
17:29
Speaker 4: being in grad school and being away from the industry
17:32
Speaker 4: was a little bit of a taste of that, like
17:34
Speaker 4: what if no one cares? What if I don't know
17:36
Speaker 4: what size bra I wear because I haven't worn one
17:39
Speaker 4: in so long and I'm just wearing shelfzanks, you know,
17:41
Speaker 4: Like it was a little bit of like I don't
17:44
Speaker 4: even know, Like when I did What Not to Wear,
17:47
Speaker 4: you know, which was like this makeover show, right, I
17:49
Speaker 4: literally had no idea what size I was because I
17:51
Speaker 4: was just like wearing the same thing for years that
17:54
Speaker 4: like were my mom cloths. Right. There's a certain kind
17:57
Speaker 4: of safety to that, and I think, you know, I
18:00
Speaker 4: think any time we think we know what we want,
18:02
Speaker 4: like I'm going to be a public person, I'm gonna
18:04
Speaker 4: get famous, like that's gonna be my life, there's always
18:07
Speaker 4: this kind of like shadow side of it of like,
18:09
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, can I put the genie back in
18:10
Speaker 4: the bottle? You know? What did I open up? What
18:14
Speaker 4: did I reveal of myself? And do I have to
18:16
Speaker 4: keep it going. And I think that's really the challenge
18:19
Speaker 4: and the difference between you know, kind of reality and
18:22
Speaker 4: you know, sort of like the sitcom world, right like
18:25
Speaker 4: yours is an ongoing existence, right and people know you.
18:30
Speaker 4: Whereas for me, like I can be like I don't
18:34
Speaker 4: have a job right now, and my life is you know,
18:37
Speaker 4: very different, and I'm like being a mom, you know
18:39
Speaker 4: for most of my life and nobody cares that I'm in.
18:41
Speaker 2: Overalls a time where it's encroached and it's bled into
18:46
Speaker 2: your personal life.
18:49
Speaker 4: I think my kids would probably say, so, you know,
18:51
Speaker 4: they didn't watch me on TV, and I've pretty much
18:55
Speaker 4: kept them out of even like social media stuff, Like
18:57
Speaker 4: there's stuff from when they're younger, and I wrote a
18:59
Speaker 4: book about ranting, and you know, their dad and I
19:01
Speaker 4: talked about like what pictures are we comfortable with? But
19:04
Speaker 4: you know, once they got older, I tried to be
19:06
Speaker 4: really really careful. But even now, you know, I have
19:09
Speaker 4: a podcast it's called mym Bilet's Breakdown, and it's about
19:11
Speaker 4: mental health and wellness. So I have to be really
19:14
Speaker 4: I have to be really careful to not you know,
19:16
Speaker 4: I mean, I want to talk about my kids all
19:18
Speaker 4: the time, they're like the best source of information for
19:20
Speaker 4: like funny things, embarrassing things. So for me, it's been
19:24
Speaker 4: you know, trying to maintain some sort of privacy for them.
19:27
Speaker 4: But you know, like my older son looks a lot
19:29
Speaker 4: like me, and I feel like whoops, you know, like
19:32
Speaker 4: just like where's my face? Everywhere he goes? And and
19:36
Speaker 4: you know that carries with it its own kind of weight,
19:39
Speaker 4: you know, because everything I do then, you know, anything
19:41
Speaker 4: I post or anything I say about you know, being Jewish, right,
19:45
Speaker 4: like that then impacts like everything starts, you know, everything
19:49
Speaker 4: starts mixing. And yeah, that that can be scary. Like
19:53
Speaker 4: the the social media and the public consumption machine that
19:57
Speaker 4: we are all part of, it can really it can
19:59
Speaker 4: be used for good, and it can also be used
20:02
Speaker 4: in ways that are scary to us and a lot
20:04
Speaker 4: of people. And I'm sure you get this, like well
20:06
Speaker 4: what do you expect? That's what you get?
20:08
Speaker 2: Like you don't get signed up for that far right.
20:11
Speaker 4: Exactly, And like that's and I know it's like a
20:13
Speaker 4: first world problem to be like, but I'm not sure.
20:15
Speaker 4: But I think like we're all humans with autonomy, and
20:20
Speaker 4: especially as women, I think that people are like that's
20:22
Speaker 4: what you get because like you're a woman and we
20:24
Speaker 4: get to just like love you know, knowing everything about
20:28
Speaker 4: your life and we own you. Right, That's like women
20:31
Speaker 4: have a long history of not getting to have agency.
20:34
Speaker 4: So anytime a woman wants to have agency and be
20:37
Speaker 4: like enough that needs to be respected.
20:40
Speaker 2: That's interesting, I think. And I just the part about
20:43
Speaker 2: being a Jewish woman. Yeah, who is specifically right now, right,
20:49
Speaker 2: who is advocating for Jewish causes and Israeli causes? Jackie
20:54
Speaker 2: and I Jen and I are well, we're two of
20:56
Speaker 2: very few Bravo stars who are doing and we've both
21:00
Speaker 2: been really outspoken, and boy do we get destroyed on
21:04
Speaker 2: social media. And also I've struggled with and like I
21:08
Speaker 2: am I going far enough? So I post, I put
21:11
Speaker 2: a lot in my stories right, and in terms of
21:15
Speaker 2: posting into my feed, I've now finally understand Now I
21:19
Speaker 2: understand the difference between those two things. But I'm more
21:21
Speaker 2: I'm reluctant to do that, and then I'm I have
21:25
Speaker 2: a lot of guilt about that, but it becomes something
21:27
Speaker 2: that I'm afraid of, you know. It's like, right, and
21:30
Speaker 2: not just the comments, I mean, people are getting crazier
21:33
Speaker 2: and crazier, and so you also.
21:36
Speaker 1: Want to protect your children, you know, like I have
21:38
Speaker 1: four little Jewish children, and if I'm getting all this hate,
21:42
Speaker 1: I don't want it to come back on them.
21:43
Speaker 3: What has your experience been.
21:45
Speaker 4: Like, you know, it's a really really fascinating time in history,
21:51
Speaker 4: and you know, I think that you know, for many
21:56
Speaker 4: of us raised with like, you know, the memories of
21:59
Speaker 4: the recent past, like hovering, it doesn't feel great, you know.
22:05
Speaker 4: You know, for a long time, I would always say like, oh,
22:08
Speaker 4: my grandparents are so paranoid, Like they're so paranoid. And
22:11
Speaker 4: you know, after October seventh, I think a lot of
22:14
Speaker 4: people were like, oh, you know, maybe this is more complicated,
22:18
Speaker 4: and not just the attacks of October seventh, but the
22:20
Speaker 4: global response to October seventh. You know, my feeling is
22:25
Speaker 4: when the Ayatola of Iran is praising you know, protests
22:29
Speaker 4: like that's the wrong side of history. Like I'm just
22:30
Speaker 4: going to be really, you know, blunt about it. You know,
22:34
Speaker 4: we're seeing the role that that Iran, that Katar have,
22:38
Speaker 4: you know, in funding a lot of what's going on
22:40
Speaker 4: in our country. And you know the fact that there
22:42
Speaker 4: are Americans being held hostage by Hamas that that should
22:46
Speaker 4: outrage everyone who who values any you know, any democratic principles.
22:52
Speaker 4: And I have a lot of problems with the Israeli government,
22:55
Speaker 4: as do a lot of Israelis, as do a lot
22:57
Speaker 4: of Jews, as do a lot of non Jews. That's
22:59
Speaker 4: not what this is about. You know, when whoever is
23:03
Speaker 4: making lists of Jews, that doesn't go well. We saw
23:06
Speaker 4: what happened when you make lists of Jews and ask
23:08
Speaker 4: to boycott their businesses. So that's really the time that
23:12
Speaker 4: we're living in. And also, you know, I have a
23:14
Speaker 4: son going to college in the fall, and like he
23:17
Speaker 4: wants to be hopeful about his life. He doesn't want
23:19
Speaker 4: his whole life to be about people not liking him,
23:22
Speaker 4: meaning as a Jewish person. But it's a very it's
23:27
Speaker 4: a very strange time, you know, to be to be
23:30
Speaker 4: a Jewish person. And yeah, I'm I'm never going to
23:34
Speaker 4: back down in talking about the humanitarian rights of Palestinians.
23:38
Speaker 4: I've been talking about it for decades. It's something I
23:40
Speaker 4: believe strongly in. And also, separate from that, I'm never
23:44
Speaker 4: going to stop talking about what's happening on a global
23:47
Speaker 4: scale to Jews and the fact that Americans among others,
23:50
Speaker 4: are being held hostage, you know, by Hamas. So I'm
23:55
Speaker 4: I'm pretty clear about it, Like I feel pretty clear,
23:57
Speaker 4: Like I said that, I don't want to be on
23:59
Speaker 4: the side of the Ayatola praising what I'm doing. So
24:03
Speaker 4: you know, uh, for me, there's there's not a lack
24:06
Speaker 4: of clarity there, but the sort of discourse and the
24:10
Speaker 4: sort of like progressive, you know, discourse, which I thought
24:14
Speaker 4: I was a left wing, bleeding heart liberal, but like
24:17
Speaker 4: everything is like can.
24:18
Speaker 3: You believe this? I say the same thing all the
24:21
Speaker 3: time that happen.
24:22
Speaker 2: I mean, are you kidding me?
24:24
Speaker 4: I am?
24:25
Speaker 2: I am the I am. I'm not far left, I
24:28
Speaker 2: can tell you that. And I thought that I.
24:30
Speaker 4: Was, and I ate okay, And yeah, it's been it's
24:35
Speaker 4: been an interesting year. It's been a very interesting year.
24:38
Speaker 4: And you know, and what I what I tell my kids,
24:40
Speaker 4: and you know, a huge proportion, like most of my
24:43
Speaker 4: family does live in Israel, on both sides of every
24:46
Speaker 4: divide and every line, you know, And I will always
24:49
Speaker 4: advocate for peace. I will always advocate for innocent people
24:55
Speaker 4: not dying, like that is always going to be the
24:58
Speaker 4: platform that I stand by. And also I'm always going
25:02
Speaker 4: to advocate that Jewish people have a right to a
25:05
Speaker 4: homeland that they can live in safely. And that's the
25:08
Speaker 4: definition of Zionism. The fact that people have turned to
25:10
Speaker 4: sport Zionism into like something that it's not like, that's
25:13
Speaker 4: literally the definition. And you that has nothing to do
25:16
Speaker 4: with my politics. It has nothing to do with a
25:17
Speaker 4: one state solution, a two state solution that is like,
25:21
Speaker 4: this is a definitional problem. And you know, a lot
25:24
Speaker 4: of the comments that we see, they are their bots,
25:27
Speaker 4: like they've been purchased. So you know, it's also like
25:30
Speaker 4: we can't get too caught up in that. And I
25:32
Speaker 4: have to believe that, you know, I have to believe
25:34
Speaker 4: that the right side of history will prevail. And you know,
25:37
Speaker 4: I don't know what's going to happen with the elections,
25:39
Speaker 4: who knows. I just hope that like the democratic principles
25:42
Speaker 4: of freedom, liberty and the pursuit of peace and justice
25:46
Speaker 4: is what continues to govern. You know, everybody's hearts in line.
25:49
Speaker 2: Amen's sister.
25:50
Speaker 1: You know, I also have clarity, of course on what
25:53
Speaker 1: my purpose is.
25:54
Speaker 3: But I do sometimes feel very alone as a.
25:56
Speaker 1: Jewish public figure, you know, and our public figure don't
26:00
Speaker 1: is nothing compared to your eyes. But I do feel
26:03
Speaker 1: like one in a million, you know, and like Novo
26:06
Speaker 1: probably even less than that, right nobody.
26:08
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, but there's there's also there's been some I mean,
26:11
Speaker 4: like Ben Stiller recently wrote an opinion piece for Time Magazine,
26:14
Speaker 4: which if you haven't seen that, you absolutely should. It
26:16
Speaker 4: is beautiful and it really like it deals with both sides.
26:19
Speaker 4: And I was like, that's really, like, you know, that
26:21
Speaker 4: is what's fuck for a you know, a movie actor,
26:23
Speaker 4: a movie director to to kind of come out and
26:26
Speaker 4: say exactly what you're saying, like we shouldn't feel alone
26:30
Speaker 4: in this, and so like there are there are people
26:33
Speaker 4: who are speaking up, but you know, you know why
26:36
Speaker 4: a lot of people don't want to speak up. And
26:38
Speaker 4: I think that's true of a lot of causes. And
26:40
Speaker 4: this is sort of the kind of dangerous part, right
26:43
Speaker 4: of being a public person, being on social media, because
26:46
Speaker 4: you can say this about a lot of different causes.
26:49
Speaker 4: Like I'd like to believe there can just be entertainment,
26:51
Speaker 4: but I think especially for you know, for reality, people
26:54
Speaker 4: are really getting to know the real you, right, And
26:57
Speaker 4: so that's there's not really a.
27:00
Speaker 2: There Well, I mean, that's exactly what I struggle with
27:03
Speaker 2: and I think that again, it angers me that I
27:07
Speaker 2: I am afraid sometimes, but it's just my truth. I
27:10
Speaker 2: just am. But I still I do a lot of posting,
27:13
Speaker 2: and we both do a lot of advocating. But there's
27:16
Speaker 2: also I have this pervasive feeling that it doesn't matter
27:19
Speaker 2: what I say because just like in our country right now,
27:22
Speaker 2: the division is the division and no one cares. I
27:25
Speaker 2: picked this side and actually have been on our show too,
27:27
Speaker 2: but whatever, but I picked this side and nothing you
27:30
Speaker 2: can say will dissuade me.
27:33
Speaker 4: And that's so I think that's hardy. Yeah, well that's
27:36
Speaker 4: what's disheartening. And I think that's also you know, what's
27:38
Speaker 4: lost from a lot of people's viewing of let's say,
27:41
Speaker 4: you know, reality or understanding celebrity is that there's no
27:45
Speaker 4: nuance anymore. And like the nuance is the subtlety, it's
27:48
Speaker 4: the complexity, it's the I can believe that two people
27:51
Speaker 4: are suffering at once. I don't have to choose, right, Like,
27:54
Speaker 4: those are subtle things that really get lost if you
27:57
Speaker 4: only have a certain number of characters, or if you
27:59
Speaker 4: only have seconds. And you know, the hard thing about
28:02
Speaker 4: being a parent these days is trying to maintain anybody's
28:05
Speaker 4: attention for longer than like six seconds or ten minutes, right,
28:08
Speaker 4: And I think that's part of what's going on, is
28:11
Speaker 4: we're really we're being swallowed up by this culture of
28:14
Speaker 4: like instant information. Nobody's fact checking anything, like one quote
28:19
Speaker 4: gets lifted, and that's actually not the way that like
28:21
Speaker 4: human beings are I think designed to interact. We're supposed
28:25
Speaker 4: to talk to people face to face, like, we're not
28:27
Speaker 4: supposed to hide behind a screen and say mean things
28:29
Speaker 4: about like how ugly someone is. Right, Like, that's not
28:32
Speaker 4: how I was like made to actually interact as a human,
28:36
Speaker 4: and that doesn't change in one generation. You don't get
28:39
Speaker 4: to say like, oh, well, this is how people interact,
28:41
Speaker 4: Like not really, it's actually not normal. And that's what
28:44
Speaker 4: I have to remind my kids, Like, just because you
28:46
Speaker 4: see something on social media that actually doesn't believe, like,
28:49
Speaker 4: it doesn't mean that it's true. That's just what someone
28:53
Speaker 4: put down.
29:03
Speaker 2: So social media is relatively new in our lives and
29:07
Speaker 2: in terms of three of us. But do you feel
29:10
Speaker 2: more equipped, Like I don't know what kind of you know,
29:13
Speaker 2: criticism you got, whether it was in some tabloid magazine
29:17
Speaker 2: back in the day right as opposed to now where
29:19
Speaker 2: it's right on your phone, but dealing with it at
29:23
Speaker 2: your age, at my age, at Jackie's age, how is
29:26
Speaker 2: it different for you or does it still just cut
29:30
Speaker 2: like it used to?
29:31
Speaker 4: Yeah? Look, I'm what they call a highly sensitive person,
29:35
Speaker 4: so you know, for me, like that's and that means
29:37
Speaker 4: that also, like news impacts me in ways that can
29:40
Speaker 4: really help my mental health take a dive. You know.
29:43
Speaker 4: It's like literally, I'm just I'm very I'm deeply affected
29:47
Speaker 4: by things and I feel, you know, I've been told
29:49
Speaker 4: my whole life like you're too sensitive. Like, yeah, I'm
29:51
Speaker 4: really really sensitive. So what that means is like some
29:55
Speaker 4: people they can let it wash off their back better.
29:57
Speaker 4: I really don't do well with that. And I finally
30:00
Speaker 4: I had to start like significantly limiting the amount that
30:04
Speaker 4: I was on social media because I'll be honest, I
30:06
Speaker 4: will compare in despair, I'll compare myself to every single
30:09
Speaker 4: thing that I see, and it leads me down.
30:12
Speaker 3: This crazy crazy.
30:14
Speaker 1: We look at you and it's like you're incomparable, you know,
30:18
Speaker 1: like it's just deeply, deeply upset.
30:21
Speaker 4: Like I'll be like, why don't my lashes look like that?
30:23
Speaker 4: Like I'm I become an eleven year like I become
30:27
Speaker 4: like your average left in your team athro where I'm
30:30
Speaker 4: like I want that. Why is it like this? And
30:33
Speaker 4: that's just kind of but that's how my brain works
30:34
Speaker 4: when I walk around, you know, in the street. So
30:37
Speaker 4: for me, social media is just such it's like it
30:40
Speaker 4: exacerbates it. It's like here it is times a million, jillion,
30:44
Speaker 4: and the fact is like I'm that kind of person.
30:48
Speaker 4: And you know, you'll sometimes hear you know, people I've
30:50
Speaker 4: heard these, like when people talk about like being in
30:52
Speaker 4: SCULPTEP programs that their personality is that like a million
30:56
Speaker 4: comments could be positive. I'm going to focus on the
30:59
Speaker 4: one that wasn't right, and I'm gonna and like and
31:03
Speaker 4: if I see it, it's like it's true and I'm like,
31:06
Speaker 4: what is that? And I'm especially like that with like
31:09
Speaker 4: the male gaze, right like if a guy says this,
31:11
Speaker 4: or if a guy like, I don't know what that is.
31:14
Speaker 4: It's like DNA, it's environment, it's all the things. So
31:17
Speaker 4: I really have to stay away from it. I'm not
31:20
Speaker 4: I'm not cut out for it.
31:21
Speaker 2: I'm not happy about it for you, but I'm happy
31:23
Speaker 2: that to share it with you because if you're feeling
31:25
Speaker 2: that way, Yeah, I was in I was at Fire
31:27
Speaker 2: Island this past weekend for the fourth of July and
31:30
Speaker 2: I went to the Pines. I don't know if you
31:31
Speaker 2: know a Fire Island at all, but it's like a
31:33
Speaker 2: predominantly gay area and for a performance that one of
31:36
Speaker 2: the other housewives was doing. And I'm walking into the
31:40
Speaker 2: place and all of these gay men are shouting my
31:44
Speaker 2: name and there it's it's oh.
31:45
Speaker 3: My god, Jenfesl Jenfesler.
31:47
Speaker 2: And I went over and it was like the most warm, wonderful,
31:49
Speaker 2: welcoming thing. And then I heard someone shout, Jenfesler is
31:53
Speaker 2: an asshole. I know.
31:55
Speaker 4: That was right, that's all.
31:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was And how house I should be pasted it.
32:03
Speaker 1: I'm fifty five, but if my embiolic is not, then
32:05
Speaker 1: I'm okay with it. Can I ask you about the
32:07
Speaker 1: mental health piece that you said. You said you have
32:09
Speaker 1: your amazing podcast, and have you struggled with a lot
32:15
Speaker 1: of mental health issues, because Jen and I are very
32:17
Speaker 1: open about our mental health struggles.
32:20
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I've been, you know, honestly, we started
32:23
Speaker 4: our podcast, I started with my partner Jonathan Cohen, and
32:26
Speaker 4: we started it. I'd just like to mention the name
32:28
Speaker 4: Cohen because I think it's important. I'm like, I always
32:30
Speaker 4: wanted to know a Cohen, like instantly. So we started it,
32:35
Speaker 4: you know, right when COVID happened, because you know, here
32:38
Speaker 4: I was this person with like, you know, decades of
32:41
Speaker 4: therapy under my belt, like I've been on this medication,
32:43
Speaker 4: I've tried this, like I've been told to meditate, I
32:45
Speaker 4: do yoga, And when COVID happened, it was like I
32:48
Speaker 4: went back to square one, you know, like not being
32:51
Speaker 4: able to sleep, eating, disturbed, and I'm thinking what about
32:54
Speaker 4: people who don't have decades of experience and a vocabulary
32:58
Speaker 4: what they're feeling. And I would talk to beeople who
33:00
Speaker 4: were like, I'm having trouble sleeping and I can't stop
33:03
Speaker 4: thinking about what might have is like, oh, you don't
33:05
Speaker 4: know what anxiety is, Like that's what anxiety is. So
33:08
Speaker 4: we started this podcast really to try and democratize, you know,
33:12
Speaker 4: just the information of like do you know the difference
33:14
Speaker 4: between anxiety and depression? Do you know what a panic
33:17
Speaker 4: attack is versus an anxiety attack? Like what's the information?
33:20
Speaker 4: Because I mean, honestly, in this country, unless you have
33:22
Speaker 4: a lot of money. You really don't have free access,
33:25
Speaker 4: you know, meaning open access to the mental health care
33:28
Speaker 4: that everybody deserves as a human right. So we started
33:31
Speaker 4: it as this sort of way to just like teach
33:33
Speaker 4: people basic terms, and you know what, my degrees in neuroscience,
33:36
Speaker 4: and I figured I can speak to that stuff. And
33:38
Speaker 4: what ended up happening is we started talking to you know, celebrities,
33:42
Speaker 4: experts like all these people, and the same kind of
33:45
Speaker 4: things kept sort of like circling around, is that we
33:48
Speaker 4: as humans have this tendency to perseverate. Everyone comes from
33:53
Speaker 4: some sort of challenge or obstacle. Many of us experienced trauma,
33:57
Speaker 4: many many women have experienced sexual abuse or sexual assault
34:01
Speaker 4: by the time they hit eighteen, and once you then
34:04
Speaker 4: go into adulthood with this kind of you know, history,
34:08
Speaker 4: which we all have some level of it, life can
34:11
Speaker 4: be really challenging. And add to it social pressures, add
34:15
Speaker 4: to it, financial challenges, you know, add to it all
34:17
Speaker 4: of the things. It's very hard to be a human.
34:20
Speaker 4: And so a lot of what we talk about is
34:23
Speaker 4: sort of the intersection of finding something greater than yourself
34:26
Speaker 4: and science, right, so there's actually like a scientific basis
34:29
Speaker 4: to spirituality. And not just as like I like to
34:32
Speaker 4: hang crystals from my window, but what does it mean
34:35
Speaker 4: to like, what does it mean to meditate? What happens
34:38
Speaker 4: in your brain when you actually, you know, focus in.
34:41
Speaker 4: And what we've found is that some of the most
34:43
Speaker 4: famous people, I mean, we've had Matthew McConaughey on, We've
34:46
Speaker 4: had Sarah Silverman, and we've had like all these incredible
34:48
Speaker 4: you know, comedians and performers, often at the height of
34:51
Speaker 4: their success was when imposter syndrome, you know, started rearing
34:55
Speaker 4: its head. And so many people, you know, don't know
34:59
Speaker 4: that even the most famous people, the most successful people struggle.
35:03
Speaker 4: And so that's what our podcast is seeking to sort
35:05
Speaker 4: of bring out and what works for some people what
35:08
Speaker 4: doesn't work for others. I'm not a person that's like
35:10
Speaker 4: I've figured it out, so I have a podcast to
35:12
Speaker 4: explain it to everybody. I'm still struggling. You know, I
35:15
Speaker 4: grew up in a very very tumultuous house. Many of
35:18
Speaker 4: us grow up in addiction and with abuse in their
35:21
Speaker 4: homes and we weren't told to talk about it. It's
35:24
Speaker 4: just what normal was. And you didn't talk about it
35:26
Speaker 4: when you left that front door, right that's not seeming
35:30
Speaker 4: to make for a healthy society. We have to talk
35:33
Speaker 4: about it, we have to destigmatize it, and we have
35:36
Speaker 4: to talk about what works and what doesn't. And for
35:37
Speaker 4: some people it's medication, and for some people it's meditation.
35:40
Speaker 4: For some people it's something in between some of.
35:42
Speaker 2: Us both in all. Yeah, right, right, right?
35:45
Speaker 3: Do you find that meditation has really helped you?
35:47
Speaker 1: Because I still, you know, I speak to my therapist
35:49
Speaker 1: every week, and I suffered.
35:51
Speaker 3: From an eating disorder for twenty years.
35:52
Speaker 1: I was anarexic for twenty years, and that was a
35:55
Speaker 1: huge mental mental health issue for me. My brain just
35:59
Speaker 1: swam with it, reasons why I was terrified of gaining
36:02
Speaker 1: any weight or eating. And my therapist always tells me
36:06
Speaker 1: that I should take one minute every day and just
36:08
Speaker 1: get started with meditation. And I still it's been years,
36:10
Speaker 1: and I still every morning week up and I'm like today,
36:12
Speaker 1: I'll take that one minute, and I don't one minute.
36:15
Speaker 2: I know, I have the same discussions.
36:17
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean the thing about the thing about me,
36:21
Speaker 4: I'm a very you know, I like to say I'm
36:23
Speaker 4: a slow learner. And you know, we used to say
36:26
Speaker 4: like I'm an old soul and someone once said to
36:29
Speaker 4: me that just means you're stubborn. You know, it's like
36:32
Speaker 4: taking you a long time to sort of like get
36:34
Speaker 4: to what you actually need to do. I've gone in
36:39
Speaker 4: and out of a more diligent meditation practice. But what
36:43
Speaker 4: we know about kind of all of the addictions is
36:46
Speaker 4: that that's a God shaped hole, right, and we'll fill
36:49
Speaker 4: that God shaped hole. You can fill it with drugs,
36:51
Speaker 4: you can fill it with alcohol, you can fill it
36:53
Speaker 4: with sex, you can fill it with obsession about food.
36:56
Speaker 4: And I'm really an expert at like how long can
36:58
Speaker 4: I go without eating? Was how my life you know,
37:01
Speaker 4: went for for many years until I sort of started
37:04
Speaker 4: balancing it out. But what that is is it's a
37:07
Speaker 4: it's a thing that meditation starts filling that hole for.
37:11
Speaker 4: And what it is is it lowers our anxiety. It
37:14
Speaker 4: helps our brain start producing chemicals that actually can support
37:18
Speaker 4: you know, a healthier framework throughout our day. So it's
37:22
Speaker 4: something we talk about a lot. You know, so many
37:24
Speaker 4: people have eating disorders or disordered eating right, and a
37:28
Speaker 4: lot of people are also in denial about that stuff.
37:31
Speaker 4: You know, people feel like I'm fine, just leave me alone.
37:34
Speaker 4: But you know, we talk to a lot of people,
37:36
Speaker 4: and I hope people will you know, check out our
37:38
Speaker 4: podcast and you can also you know, search for for
37:41
Speaker 4: any particular diagnosis. We've done many episodes on many of them.
37:44
Speaker 4: We have hundreds of episodes we've done now. But for me,
37:47
Speaker 4: it really is about, like I said, what we call
37:49
Speaker 4: like that god shaped hole, and meditation is supposed to
37:52
Speaker 4: bring that down.
37:54
Speaker 2: I love that. I mean it always is right, It
37:57
Speaker 2: always feels like just trying to fill the whole, fill
37:59
Speaker 2: the whole, fill the hole in the there is.
38:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll fill it with work. It's my favorite drug.
38:03
Speaker 4: Like my favorite drug is work?
38:04
Speaker 2: Really me too, that's interesting not me, not me at all.
38:08
Speaker 2: I way for food, alcohol to work now.
38:11
Speaker 1: But I feel it with work because like you said before,
38:13
Speaker 1: you said, what am I giving to the world?
38:15
Speaker 3: How are people perceiving me?
38:16
Speaker 1: That still runs through my brain like if I stop,
38:19
Speaker 1: are people going to think that I failed?
38:23
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeahs. And that's like to me, like fame, you know,
38:26
Speaker 4: tries to fill that God shape right like just like
38:30
Speaker 4: love me and look what I can offer. And and
38:32
Speaker 4: the fact is like that that's whyet place that meditation
38:36
Speaker 4: brings you to, right, that quiet place that meditation can
38:38
Speaker 4: bring you to is that notion of like what is
38:41
Speaker 4: it like to not attach to every thought and every
38:43
Speaker 4: ruminating thought and every obsession because I'll hold on to it.
38:46
Speaker 4: I could just have like a tape running all day
38:48
Speaker 4: and that's kind of what it's like. And for me
38:51
Speaker 4: with disordered eating, like I would fill it with like
38:53
Speaker 4: what am I going to eat? What am I not
38:54
Speaker 4: going to eat? Is this going to make me feel full?
38:56
Speaker 4: Is it's going to make you look fat? Right? Like,
38:58
Speaker 4: that's the kind of script and when you take that away,
39:01
Speaker 4: what's gonna fill it? Right? And meditation is literally it's
39:05
Speaker 4: a practice for me in learning how not to attach
39:09
Speaker 4: to every single thought that comes into my head because
39:12
Speaker 4: I mean, I know it sounds weird to say, but
39:14
Speaker 4: like I can't trust my thoughts. They're not trust me
39:16
Speaker 4: because a lot of times it's a very mean voice
39:19
Speaker 4: in there, you know, saying you didn't do this, you're
39:21
Speaker 4: not this enough, or why aren't you more like that person?
39:24
Speaker 4: Which is why again for me, increasing meditation, decreasing social
39:28
Speaker 4: media like has to happen for me to also not
39:31
Speaker 4: like snap at my kids or get excessively frustrated that
39:35
Speaker 4: someone didn't empty the dishwasher. When I ask, right, because
39:38
Speaker 4: like that's what makes that anxiety keep rising. Meditation is literally,
39:42
Speaker 4: I mean it's a muscle. It's like over time your
39:44
Speaker 4: brain starts to chill the f out.
39:56
Speaker 2: My psychiatrist, for some reason, this really resonated with me.
39:59
Speaker 2: She told me a while back, and I think of
40:00
Speaker 2: it all the time that if you look at I
40:04
Speaker 2: don't know about look at life, but let's say that
40:06
Speaker 2: there's this pen right, and then sometimes you are starring
40:10
Speaker 2: on Blossom, or you're starring in Beaches, or you're the
40:13
Speaker 2: hosting Jeopardy, right, and you're up here and you're like
40:15
Speaker 2: at the top, right, and you still have this well
40:18
Speaker 2: maybe imposter syndrome, but also that fear of falling, of
40:21
Speaker 2: not being on top, and then you're down here, right,
40:23
Speaker 2: So something happens and you actually feel like you are
40:26
Speaker 2: on the bottom, and you become just completely obsessed with
40:29
Speaker 2: the rise? Right, how do I get back up? And
40:31
Speaker 2: she always says, so if it's a line like this,
40:35
Speaker 2: where you want to live is out here in dignity,
40:37
Speaker 2: like in this circle where you know that none of
40:39
Speaker 2: this is real.
40:41
Speaker 3: Well, none of it defines you, yeah, and.
40:43
Speaker 2: That none of it right, that none of it defines
40:46
Speaker 2: you and how do you get there? How do you
40:47
Speaker 2: get to the dignity? She always says, it's by coming
40:50
Speaker 2: back to yourself. It's by taking that time every day,
40:53
Speaker 2: and she always wants me to do it in the morning.
40:55
Speaker 2: And I still like you, Jack, I just don't always
40:57
Speaker 2: follow through, but just to come back to the breathing
41:00
Speaker 2: and back to your body.
41:02
Speaker 3: And so are you?
41:04
Speaker 4: Are you? Are you?
41:05
Speaker 1: Did you find that your twelve year hiatus were you
41:08
Speaker 1: calmer not being in the public eye?
41:10
Speaker 3: Do you you know?
41:11
Speaker 1: Your pace is unbelievable between your podcasts, I'm raising your
41:14
Speaker 1: kids and starring on everything?
41:16
Speaker 3: Do you ever? Do you do you have the like
41:20
Speaker 3: the can you keep going at that pace?
41:22
Speaker 2: Do you want to?
41:25
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, I think one of the things
41:27
Speaker 4: that we also talk about on the podcast, which comes
41:29
Speaker 4: up a lot, is you Know, the Body Keeps the Score,
41:32
Speaker 4: which is also a book by bessel Vandercock and it's
41:34
Speaker 4: about trauma. But Gabor Matte also talked about this on
41:38
Speaker 4: our podcast. You Know the body will start giving out.
41:43
Speaker 4: And I was diagnosed with my first autoimmune condition at
41:45
Speaker 4: twenty three, and I was a completely healthy, you know,
41:49
Speaker 4: young person at the height of my like fitness and
41:51
Speaker 4: my thyroid gave out. I have grave disease, which is
41:54
Speaker 4: an overactive thyroid. Most people have an underactive thyroid. But anyway,
41:58
Speaker 4: you know, that was that was of my first time
42:01
Speaker 4: that I think the body was talking. But back then,
42:04
Speaker 4: and it was the nineties, we didn't know. No one
42:08
Speaker 4: told me this is what's happening with your adrenals, like
42:11
Speaker 4: your adrenal glands are taxed. No one told me there's
42:15
Speaker 4: a specific way of eating that you need to adopt.
42:18
Speaker 4: There's a specific specific way of sleeping that will help
42:21
Speaker 4: support your body. And you know, the notion for me
42:26
Speaker 4: has been my body usually will indicate when it's too much,
42:30
Speaker 4: and what I'll do is I'll have a period of
42:32
Speaker 4: like retreating and having quiet time, and then I forget
42:36
Speaker 4: because I'm stubborn and I'm a very very fast forgetter,
42:39
Speaker 4: and I'll gear up again and then something will happen.
42:42
Speaker 4: You know, I've had vocal cord surgery, like I've had
42:44
Speaker 4: all these things of my body saying like we're tired, right,
42:48
Speaker 4: And so the notion is also as women especially, it's
42:51
Speaker 4: like do it all, you can do it all. And
42:53
Speaker 4: I was raised by feminists, right, like you can be
42:55
Speaker 4: president of the United States, but like the fact is,
42:58
Speaker 4: you know, at this point in my life, like I
43:00
Speaker 4: need to slow down and my body can't do the
43:03
Speaker 4: same things that it used to, you know, like the
43:05
Speaker 4: fact that like I have to wear glasses and like
43:07
Speaker 4: my hearing is definitely going you know, like I'm not
43:10
Speaker 4: as swift as I used to be, and that's okay.
43:13
Speaker 4: And there's so much conversation surrounding even like plastic surgery,
43:16
Speaker 4: like what do we want to look? Like what's important?
43:19
Speaker 4: And what is our society value? And what I love
43:22
Speaker 4: what your psychiatrist said, like where's the place of dignity?
43:25
Speaker 4: It's outside of all of that, And for so many
43:28
Speaker 4: people that comes from like doing shrooms or iahuascar, Right,
43:32
Speaker 4: But you can also get there with meditation. And what
43:34
Speaker 4: that is is there's a still small voice, right that
43:38
Speaker 4: actually is the same It's the same Jennifer, and it's
43:40
Speaker 4: the same Jackie that existed when you were two, when
43:43
Speaker 4: you were four. Right. We had an episode with Michael
43:45
Speaker 4: Singer which I highly recommend of our podcast, and it's
43:47
Speaker 4: like the person who was you when you looked in
43:50
Speaker 4: the mirror when you were four, that's the same person
43:53
Speaker 4: in there, there's that voice that's you, right, and that's
43:57
Speaker 4: independent of what you look like. And if you you know,
44:00
Speaker 4: have an autoimmune condition, if you're a mom, if you're working, like,
44:04
Speaker 4: that's the you that meditation is trying to get you
44:08
Speaker 4: in touch with. And guess what. That stimulates chemicals in
44:11
Speaker 4: your brain that can combat depression and anxiety, like it's
44:16
Speaker 4: your natural you know, it's your natural system for regulating
44:20
Speaker 4: and in theory, when we get in touch with that,
44:23
Speaker 4: we place less emphasis than on what do I look like?
44:28
Speaker 4: What do people think of me? You know, we get
44:30
Speaker 4: to say, like, what do I need to do today?
44:32
Speaker 4: What does real self care look like? It's fun to
44:34
Speaker 4: go to the spa, right, but what does self care
44:36
Speaker 4: look like of I don't have anything to do. I'm
44:39
Speaker 4: going to take care of myself and my kids today, right.
44:43
Speaker 4: Do you think many of us have the space to
44:45
Speaker 4: do that? Not many?
44:46
Speaker 2: So I've tried to I've tried to incorporate all of
44:50
Speaker 2: this into becoming two years ago. I'm I'm not a
44:53
Speaker 2: famous person, but I'm on a reality show. But it
44:56
Speaker 2: comes with certain challenges and always you know, wanting more,
45:01
Speaker 2: wanting more, and then being afraid of more and all
45:04
Speaker 2: of that. But now that you have been through years
45:07
Speaker 2: of self reflection in therapy and whatever it is, do
45:10
Speaker 2: you still want the fame? Is it just the acting?
45:13
Speaker 2: Is it that the article?
45:15
Speaker 4: Right?
45:15
Speaker 3: What is fulfilling you think now with this career?
45:18
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, this is this is a great question.
45:21
Speaker 4: And you know, I was on Jeopardy for two years,
45:23
Speaker 4: which you know ended just a couple months after October seventh,
45:29
Speaker 4: so it was like really an intense time. You know,
45:33
Speaker 4: there are things that I definitely want to create, you know,
45:36
Speaker 4: as a I mean, I directed a movie it's called
45:39
Speaker 4: As They Made Us with Candice Bergen and Dustin Hoffman
45:42
Speaker 4: and Simon Helberg and Diana Agron. It came out a
45:44
Speaker 4: couple of years ago, and I loved directing. I wrote
45:47
Speaker 4: the screenplay and I was like, gosh, I've been bossy
45:50
Speaker 4: my whole life and it finally paid off. Like I
45:51
Speaker 4: didn't need to be mean and bossy, But like, I
45:53
Speaker 4: directed a movie, and you know, I recently did get
45:57
Speaker 4: to act in a Jim Jarmush movie with Adam Driver
46:00
Speaker 4: and with Tom Waits, and it was like this incredible experience.
46:03
Speaker 4: But the fact is, like there's a lot of quietness
46:06
Speaker 4: right now that I'm really valuing. And I have a
46:10
Speaker 4: production company and there's you know, content that we'd like
46:13
Speaker 4: to produce, but I'll be honest, I don't have a
46:16
Speaker 4: lot of tolerance and patience for a lot of the
46:19
Speaker 4: drama you know that comes with the industry right now.
46:22
Speaker 4: And I think that does come from needing to like
46:24
Speaker 4: focus on my health, focus on getting my first kid
46:27
Speaker 4: to college, and that being like a really big transition.
46:30
Speaker 4: But I'll be honest, Like the you know, when you're
46:34
Speaker 4: used to a dopamine hit, which is really what being
46:37
Speaker 4: famous is, right or being public, Like when you're used
46:40
Speaker 4: to that dopamine hit and you step back, it really
46:43
Speaker 4: is it's kind of a reckoning like what am I worth?
46:47
Speaker 4: Like when that applause stops, like what happens next? So
46:52
Speaker 4: I think that's sort of like the season that I'm
46:54
Speaker 4: in right now, and I think that it does it
46:58
Speaker 4: coincides with a huge, you know, global event for the
47:02
Speaker 4: Jewish people, and I think for you know, everybody's understanding
47:05
Speaker 4: of tolerance right now. And so yeah, it's been kind
47:11
Speaker 4: of a quiet time and I'm really enjoying. You know,
47:14
Speaker 4: my my younger son's been homeschooled his whole life, and
47:16
Speaker 4: he's fifteen and he's going to be finally starting in
47:19
Speaker 4: regular school. So that's a huge transition. So like a
47:22
Speaker 4: lot of transitions happening, I definitely have another book in me,
47:26
Speaker 4: but for me, the podcast is really where I've been
47:28
Speaker 4: focusing most of my attention. And as I'm sure you
47:33
Speaker 4: both understand, like it's rewarding having people gain information from
47:38
Speaker 4: what you know I've experienced and be open to sort
47:41
Speaker 4: of you know, constantly learning, like I've got a lot
47:44
Speaker 4: to learn. I don't have it all figured out, and
47:46
Speaker 4: I still struggle with like why am I not meditating
47:48
Speaker 4: every day when I know that I'm supposed to. So
47:50
Speaker 4: for me, that's like part of the journey, and that's
47:53
Speaker 4: what sort of you know, the you know, the breakdown
47:56
Speaker 4: has been for me and for Jonathan. We get to
47:59
Speaker 4: constantly we learn, and I hope one day it'll stick.
48:03
Speaker 1: No, but I love hearing that even someone like you,
48:06
Speaker 1: because through our eyes, you are just so unbelievable, and
48:11
Speaker 1: like for you to say that you're flawed and you're insecure,
48:14
Speaker 1: sometimes it's just it makes me feel better knowing that
48:18
Speaker 1: it's not just like something that like the regular folk
48:22
Speaker 1: you know and have.
48:23
Speaker 2: I think also like like in terms of in our listeners,
48:26
Speaker 2: you know, not all of them are public figures. I
48:28
Speaker 2: would think actually most are not. But it's still that draw.
48:32
Speaker 2: You know, as you're getting older, things are changing, they
48:34
Speaker 2: have to, and it's going to whether it's your looks,
48:37
Speaker 2: whether it's situationally.
48:40
Speaker 4: Reaching towards the floor. I don't understand.
48:43
Speaker 2: I can't with that, don't, but but there's stuff that
48:46
Speaker 2: you have to do. All of that's happening. And even
48:49
Speaker 2: like like in the Fame game or you know, you're
48:51
Speaker 2: when you see it all fading, what then? So I'm
48:54
Speaker 2: not going to be, let's say, on housewives anymore? Who
48:56
Speaker 2: am I going to be? If I'm not on face?
49:00
Speaker 2: Am I?
49:00
Speaker 4: What? Am I? Worth? Right?
49:01
Speaker 2: It's all kind of right, I feel like.
49:03
Speaker 4: I mean, look, the even the conversation around like hormone
49:06
Speaker 4: replacement therapy, which I mean I'm forty eight, and it
49:10
Speaker 4: used to be like no one should take hormones. It's
49:12
Speaker 4: going to kill you to take hormones. And now the
49:14
Speaker 4: conversation when I talk to younger friends of mine, it's
49:16
Speaker 4: like everybody's on hormones. So like even learning like what
49:19
Speaker 4: does it mean to age? I read an article that
49:22
Speaker 4: they're just going to like stop menopause altogether, and I
49:24
Speaker 4: was like, well, why didn't they think of that before
49:26
Speaker 4: I hit it? Because it's not a fun decade, right,
49:29
Speaker 4: But even that notion of like what should my skin
49:33
Speaker 4: look like? Oh, you're going to lose elasticity, like forget
49:35
Speaker 4: about in your lady parts, like on my face? Right,
49:38
Speaker 4: Like what should aging look like? And I think these
49:41
Speaker 4: are important conversations, but it's a challenge. It's a challenge
49:45
Speaker 4: to do it publicly, and it's not just public like
49:48
Speaker 4: That's where I think social media has made kind of
49:50
Speaker 4: everyone an influencer. Everyone is a public person, right, Everyone
49:54
Speaker 4: has the ability to sort of have a public platform,
49:57
Speaker 4: which means that more of us, and especially young people
50:00
Speaker 4: and especially young girls, they're having this kind of opportunity,
50:04
Speaker 4: you know, to see and be seen. But it's just
50:06
Speaker 4: starting the machine that we're part of even earlier.
50:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's scary.
50:10
Speaker 3: It's all very terrifying.
50:12
Speaker 1: It is. Before we wrap, I do want to thank
50:15
Speaker 1: you for using your voice for activism, for speaking up
50:20
Speaker 1: against anti semitism, and for speaking out against you know,
50:23
Speaker 1: for mental health, like because I think that you know,
50:26
Speaker 1: I didn't talk about my mental health my entire life
50:29
Speaker 1: until I was a public person, actually, until I came forward.
50:32
Speaker 1: I wrote my memoir on my anorexia last year, and
50:37
Speaker 1: until I really started talking about it, it was all this
50:39
Speaker 1: big secret and a lot of shame. And so that's
50:41
Speaker 1: what kept me sick for so long. So thank you
50:45
Speaker 1: for your podcast because that's so important.
50:47
Speaker 2: Also, can we be on it?
50:50
Speaker 3: Jen is very I want to be here when I
50:52
Speaker 3: grow up, seriously, like you have to.
50:54
Speaker 2: I'm dying.
50:55
Speaker 3: I'll tell you all of the crazy shit that goes.
50:58
Speaker 2: On in here. You'll have many amazing Please have we
51:03
Speaker 2: could talk about the reality TV and what it does
51:06
Speaker 2: to your psyche.
51:08
Speaker 4: It fries your psyche, it's fascinating. Well, I really I
51:11
Speaker 4: appreciate also what what both of you do, and especially
51:14
Speaker 4: you know, as people who have to many of us
51:16
Speaker 4: a very shiny veneer, you know, like everything looks so
51:19
Speaker 4: pretty and everything looks like it's really important to also,
51:23
Speaker 4: you know, find the commonalities. And I think it's a
51:25
Speaker 4: really beautiful place that that podcasting and that even social
51:28
Speaker 4: media kind of like brings people together because I think
51:31
Speaker 4: we need more unity, you know, we need more people
51:34
Speaker 4: you know, kind of saying I feel it too, and
51:36
Speaker 4: we don't have to be the same person. And I
51:38
Speaker 4: think that's even true politically. There's so much divide, you know,
51:41
Speaker 4: in our country right now. We don't have to be
51:43
Speaker 4: the same people. But there are so many things that
51:46
Speaker 4: we have in common that I would like to think
51:48
Speaker 4: those are connection points.
51:49
Speaker 2: So yeah, and it helps, it helps it to be
51:52
Speaker 2: open and then have it come back to you, you
51:54
Speaker 2: know too. I've learned because my mother used to say
51:56
Speaker 2: to me, I was always kind of an open book,
51:58
Speaker 2: and she's like, Jen, not everybody needs to know everything
52:01
Speaker 2: about you, okay, and and and really and I have.
52:05
Speaker 2: I guess there are times I've regretted opening up, you know,
52:08
Speaker 2: in the way that I do. But the good news
52:11
Speaker 2: is I find that I connect with people very easily
52:14
Speaker 2: because of that. And and usually as I'm opening up
52:18
Speaker 2: whoever i'm you know, whoever I'm with and having a
52:21
Speaker 2: conversation with will as well, and that's like where like
52:24
Speaker 2: I feel like the connection happens.
52:26
Speaker 4: It's a human connection. Yeah.
52:27
Speaker 3: Well, thank you, thank you so much.
52:29
Speaker 2: Okay, So just get out your calendar and let us
52:31
Speaker 2: know what day works for you.
52:33
Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much.
52:35
Speaker 1: I loved hearing like the commonality, like you said, that's
52:38
Speaker 1: it's been so important.
52:39
Speaker 3: But thank you. I'm honored. Yes, you both are.
52:43
Speaker 2: I just I just want to hang out.
52:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, we love you.
52:46
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. Really nice to talk to you.
52:48
Speaker 4: And my mother's losing her mind that I'm speaking to
52:51
Speaker 4: you right now. I'm losing losing her mind her daughters,
52:58
Speaker 4: Are you kidding me?
53:00
Speaker 3: It's her last name bolck Hi.
53:04
Speaker 4: She also knows that, I promise.
53:08
Speaker 3: That is really flattering as mine.
53:11
Speaker 1: Now all right, well, thank you so much.
53:16
Speaker 3: Wishing you like just continued success. You're amazing.
53:20
Speaker 4: Thank you, same to you both, and maybe let's all
53:22
Speaker 4: meditate tomorrow.
53:24
Speaker 3: Yes, one minute, starting tomorrow. I'm starting tomorrow. Thank you,
53:28
Speaker 3: thank you, thank you. Bye. She was adorable, amazing, love her.
53:34
Speaker 2: I want to hang out with it.
53:35
Speaker 3: I know you're really really good at being direct.
53:40
Speaker 2: Maybe not, maybe.
53:42
Speaker 3: I think people like it.
53:44
Speaker 1: Like I've watched you in action and you just like
53:48
Speaker 1: you know what I've picked up from you.
53:49
Speaker 3: I've started like touching people's.
53:51
Speaker 1: Hands sometimes when I talk to them, and like only
53:54
Speaker 1: if I feel like it's like a normal connection, but like.
53:58
Speaker 3: You're good at that.
53:59
Speaker 2: It's a nice thing to say.
54:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, like touch sometimes makes the conversation entirely different, Like
54:04
Speaker 1: I'm not grabbing strangers, you know, but sometimes I'll reach
54:06
Speaker 1: out and touch someone's hand while I'm talking to them.
54:08
Speaker 3: Like do I do that? Yeah? You like rub an arm?
54:13
Speaker 2: Interesting, you'll touch a hand.
54:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was.
54:16
Speaker 2: Whatever, we just said it. But I always do find
54:18
Speaker 2: that it's easier, It's so much easier to connect when
54:21
Speaker 2: you're actually like tuned into somebody, not just tuned into somebody,
54:25
Speaker 2: but also open about your own crap, you know what
54:27
Speaker 2: I mean. And maybe my mom is right occasionally maybe
54:30
Speaker 2: it's like to a fault, but I don't hide stuff well,
54:36
Speaker 2: and I actually, going on our show, I was quick
54:40
Speaker 2: to out myself on you know, stuff that had happened
54:44
Speaker 2: in my past, like my husband, like our separation, even
54:48
Speaker 2: on the podcast, talking about my issues with alcohol, and
54:51
Speaker 2: because always feeling like listen, it's gonna especially on reality TV, right,
54:55
Speaker 2: it's coming anyway, But it loses its shame that kind
54:59
Speaker 2: of stuff when you talk about it and then have
55:03
Speaker 2: you know someone else connecting to what you've been through
55:06
Speaker 2: and sharing their own stories.
55:09
Speaker 1: Well, I truly, I mean, it is very true that
55:12
Speaker 1: secrets die in the light. So yeah, yeah, I always
55:15
Speaker 1: remind myself of that. But I mean, who's not a
55:17
Speaker 1: flawed person? And like, you know what I loved is
55:20
Speaker 1: when she said that she is very deeply affected by things.
55:26
Speaker 1: I feel like I get a lot of crap for
55:28
Speaker 1: being so sensitive. I have cried many, many times. I
55:31
Speaker 1: do not dislike that about myself, and I won't apologize
55:35
Speaker 1: for that when I am sad.
55:36
Speaker 3: I will cry when I'm upset, I will.
55:39
Speaker 1: Vent when i'm you know, like, I feel emotions very deeply,
55:44
Speaker 1: and I mote very deeply, and I think that's part
55:47
Speaker 1: of the human experience. And I feel bad for people
55:49
Speaker 1: who feel like they have to hide that stuff, right, yeah, right, yeah, anyway,
55:54
Speaker 1: that was fabulous.
55:55
Speaker 2: I love her.
55:57
Speaker 3: Can I ask you, what do you take from that?
55:58
Speaker 3: Since the cornerstone of.
56:00
Speaker 1: This podcast is how to live your best life in
56:05
Speaker 1: middle age? Like what truly brings you happiness? Like, what's
56:08
Speaker 1: our takeaway from that?
56:10
Speaker 2: Mine is that she is conscious and consciously working on
56:15
Speaker 2: living her best life, Like that she's aware choosing that
56:20
Speaker 2: choosing her podcast right, Like the fact that she it's
56:23
Speaker 2: centered around mental health, and you know that she's really
56:28
Speaker 2: taking a look at herself, her life, her attitudes. I
56:32
Speaker 2: want to be like that. I want to be very
56:34
Speaker 2: I want to try to be conscious. You know I can't.
56:37
Speaker 2: I'm not always going to be. Nobody is. But like
56:39
Speaker 2: talking about the meditating, talking about you know, figuring out
56:42
Speaker 2: what's real what's not, I want to. I aspire to that. Yeah,
56:48
Speaker 2: you know, i'd like to. I'll never get there all
56:50
Speaker 2: the way, I don't think. I think it's almost impossible,
56:52
Speaker 2: but to spend more time and like it sounds cheesy,
56:55
Speaker 2: but like my authentic self and not so much time
56:59
Speaker 2: worrying about the now and all the stuff out there
57:02
Speaker 2: that really is no bearing on me.
57:03
Speaker 4: Your own life. I know.
57:04
Speaker 1: Well, if you figure out what do that, please let
57:06
Speaker 1: me know. What was my takeaway for that? Even at
57:10
Speaker 1: like you can be the host of Jeopardy and still
57:13
Speaker 1: feel insecure and flawed and have imposter syndry and struggle
57:17
Speaker 1: with mental health issues. You know, I think we put this,
57:21
Speaker 1: you know, we assume that if you have certain things
57:25
Speaker 1: in life, that everything is perfect for you. And I
57:28
Speaker 1: think the lesson the takeaway is that nothing will ever
57:30
Speaker 1: be perfect. There's never going to be a perfect time,
57:33
Speaker 1: there's never going to be the perfect time to do
57:35
Speaker 1: something that you have to be continuously working on yourself
57:38
Speaker 1: and dealing with you know what life throws at you
57:41
Speaker 1: and it doesn't stop.
57:43
Speaker 3: So yeah, that's my takeaway. But anyway, so good when.
57:45
Speaker 2: I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as we did.
57:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was fabulous.
57:50
Speaker 1: Okay, so we will be back with another fabulous episode
57:54
Speaker 1: next time.
57:54
Speaker 3: But I hope you love this and I love.
57:57
Speaker 2: You, We love you, and I am Jen Fesler and
58:00
Speaker 2: case you didn't know, I'm Jackie.
58:01
Speaker 3: Got near two Jersey Jays and see you next time.
58:05
Speaker 2: Bye, guys.
58:08
Speaker 1: H m hmm