Latest / PAMOJA PODCAST | PAMOJA MINISTRY, A LIFE OF CHRIST INTERNATIONAL MINISTRIES / The House in the Middle of the Forest – Conversation 16 When the Fire Almost Went Out – Part I: The Quiet Danger of Complacency Season Finale

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The House in the Middle of the Forest – Conversation 16 When the Fire Almost Went Out – Part I: The Quiet Danger of Complacency Season Finale · PAMOJA PODCAST | PAMOJA MINISTRY, A LIFE OF CHRIST INTERNATIONAL MINISTRIES

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Welcome to Pamoja Podcast, the place where stronger
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lives are built, faith is strengthened, hearts
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are encouraged, and Christ -centered homes are
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shaped through ordinary conversations that become
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extraordinary encounters with God's truth. One
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conversation, one story, one revelation at a
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time. I'm your host, Barry Mwamba. In our last
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conversation, I promised that I would share our
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story. Not because our story is different from
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everyone else's, but because I have come to realize
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that many Christian couples quietly walk through
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the same seasons while believing they are the
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only ones experiencing them. For 15 conversations,
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we have talked about a house in the middle of
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the forest. We have talked about the foundation,
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the windows. the warmth, the atmosphere. We have
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discovered that every house has an atmosphere,
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and that atmosphere is shaped by whatever is
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allowed to reign inside it. Today, I want to
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take you beyond the parable. I want to invite
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you into our home, not to show you a perfect
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marriage, but to show you the faithfulness of
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a perfect God. Because there was a season when
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Giselle and I discovered That knowing God's design
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for marriage is not the same as living in it
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every day. And looking back today, I don't believe
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our greatest danger was conflict. I don't believe
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it was disappointment. I don't even believe it
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was misunderstanding. I believe our greatest
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danger was something much quieter. Something
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that almost every Christian experiences, yet
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very few recognize, while it is happening. Complacency.
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I have often wondered why the Bible spends so
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much time warning believers to remain watchful.
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Jesus said, Watch and pray so that you will not
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enter into temptation. Peter wrote, Be alert
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and of sober mind. Your adversary the devil prowls
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around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to
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devour. The writer of Hebrews encourages us to
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encourage one another daily so that none of us
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may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
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There is a pattern throughout scripture. God
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continually calls his people to stay awake spiritually.
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Why? Because the greatest spiritual dangers rarely
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announce their arrival. They quietly settle into
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our routines until they begin to feel normal.
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As I reflected on our own marriage, I realized
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that this was exactly what happened to us. We
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never stopped loving God. We never decided to
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walk away from Him. We never woke up one morning
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and said, Christ will no longer be the center
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of our home. It happened much more quietly than
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that. Life became busy. Responsibilities multiplied.
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Children needed our attention. Ministry demanded
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more. Work required more of us than it had before.
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None of those things were sinful. In fact, many
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of them were blessings from God. But blessings
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can become distractions when they slowly replace
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the one who gave them. That is the danger of
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complacency. Complacency does not always look
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like rebellion. More often, it looks like neglect.
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It is the slow assumption that because we have
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walked with God for many years, we no longer
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need to pursue him with the same hunger we once
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had. It quietly tells us that yesterday's intimacy
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will be enough for today, but love has never
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grown that way. No marriage remains healthy because
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of yesterday's conversation. No friendship remains
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strong because of yesterday's time together.
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Every meaningful relationship is sustained by
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continual fellowship. Why would our relationship
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with God be any different? I think about the
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church in Ephesus. Jesus commended them for their
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perseverance, their discernment, and their faithfulness.
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Outwardly, they looked like a healthy church,
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yet his concern was not with what they were doing.
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It was with what they had slowly stopped becoming.
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You have forsaken the love you had at first.
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There was still serving, still working, still
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enduring, but something precious had quietly
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faded. I wonder how many Christian homes look
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exactly like that, still functioning, still attending
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church, still raising children, still carrying
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responsibilities. Yet the warmth that once filled
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the house has become harder to recognize because
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complacency slowly replaced pursuit. And perhaps
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that is one of the enemy's greatest victories.
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Not convincing us to hate God, simply convincing
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us that we can safely live without intentionally
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seeking him every day. That is where our story
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began and at the time we didn't even realize
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it. As I look back today, I don't think complacency
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was the problem. I think it was the door. Once
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that door was opened, other things quietly found
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their way into our home. That is the nature of
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spiritual complacency. It never comes alone.
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It always brings something with it. The more
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I reflected on our journey, the more I realized
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that this pattern is found throughout scripture.
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Adam and Eve did not lose the garden the day
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they ate the fruit. Something had already changed
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before they ever reached for it. They had stopped
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depending on God's voice and started entertaining
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another one. The fruit was simply the visible
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consequence of an invisible drift. That is how
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the enemy works. He rarely begins with the visible
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sin. He begins by changing what captures our
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attention. That is exactly what happened to Samson.
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His strength did not disappear the day his hair
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was cut. His downfall began long before that,
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when he slowly became comfortable with crossing
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boundaries that God had established for his life.
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One decision led to another, one compromise prepared
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the next, until one day he woke up believing
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he could live exactly as he always had, not realizing
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that the presence of God had departed from him.
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That verse has always troubled me. He did not
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know that the Lord had left him. What a frightening
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sentence. Not because God is eager to abandon
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his people. but because it reveals how easily
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we can become unaware of what is happening inside
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us while everything still appears normal on the
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outside. I believe marriages can experience something
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very similar. A husband and wife can still live
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under the same roof, still go to church, still
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raise the children, still smile in public, still
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celebrate anniversaries, and yet, Without realizing
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it, they began living beside one another instead
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of walking together. That was our story. Not
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because we stopped loving each other, but because
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we slowly stopped protecting the relationship
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that made our love grow. The conversations became
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shorter. The moments together became less intentional.
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We became very good at managing responsibilities.
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but we were no longer investing in our relationship
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with the same intentionality we once had. And
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perhaps that is one of the greatest deceptions
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of complacency. It convinces us that because
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we are still functioning, we must also be flourishing.
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But those are not the same thing. A marriage
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can continue functioning while quietly losing
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its warmth. A Christian can continue serving.
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while quietly losing intimacy with God. A family
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can continue living together while quietly drifting
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apart. Looking back now, I can honestly say that
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nothing dramatic had happened yet. If someone
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had asked us how we were doing, we probably would
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have answered, we're fine. And maybe we even
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believed it. Because complacency has a way of
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making slow drift feel normal. Until one day,
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you realize how far you've drifted from where
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you once were. There is something I have learned
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over the years. No couple wakes up one morning
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and decides to stop loving each other. That is
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rarely how marriages begin to fall apart. It
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usually starts with disappointments that are
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never fully healed. Conversations that are postponed
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until tomorrow, wounds that are never brought
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into the light, and a growing distance that nobody
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notices because life keeps everyone busy. Looking
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back today, I can honestly say that Giselle and
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I did not suddenly arrive at that place. We drifted
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there. One season at a time. One disappointment
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at a time. One misunderstanding at a time. Until
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one day we looked at each other and realized
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that we were no longer enjoying the marriage
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we had once dreamed of building together. There
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were moments when we genuinely wondered whether
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we had reached the end of our journey. The joy
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that had once come so naturally seemed difficult
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to find. The conversations that once brought
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us closer together sometimes left us feeling
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even farther apart. The house was still standing,
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but the atmosphere inside the house had changed.
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There came a point where we began discussing
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things that we never imagined we would discuss.
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We talked about separating. We talked to lawyers.
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We began organizing our finances as though we
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were preparing to live two different lives. I
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remember thinking that perhaps this was simply
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how our story would end. After all, we had tried,
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we had prayed, we loved God, and yet it seemed
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as though we had nothing left to give each other.
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If I am completely honest with you, there were
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moments when I believed our first love was gone
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forever. That is difficult to say, but it is
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the truth. And perhaps someone listening today
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has whispered those same words in the silence
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of their own heart. Maybe you have wondered whether
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what has been lost can ever be found again. Maybe
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you have convinced yourself that your marriage
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has reached a point beyond restoration. Maybe
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you are still living in the same house, but it
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no longer feels like home. If that is where you
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are today, I want you to know that I understand
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those emotions because we have walked through
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them ourselves. But there is one thing I did
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not understand at the time. I thought our greatest
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problem was that we had lost our love for one
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another. Looking back now, I see it differently.
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Love was not the first thing we lost. The first
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thing we lost was our shared pursuit of God's
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presence. When Christ quietly stopped being the
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center of our home, Everything else slowly began
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to move out of its proper place. Our communication
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suffered. Our patience became thinner. Forgiveness
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became more difficult. The warmth we once enjoyed
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became harder to recognize. Everything we have
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talked about throughout this entire season was
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no longer just a lesson. It had become our reality
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and then... When we had almost convinced ourselves
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that our story was over, God stepped into our
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house once again. But God, there are two words
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that appear throughout the Bible that have always
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filled my heart with hope. But God, those two
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words have changed the course of countless lives.
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Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery. but
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God turned what was meant for evil into good.
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The children of Israel stood trapped between
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Pharaoh's army and the Red Sea, but God made
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a way where there seemed to be no way. Lazarus
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had been in the tomb for four days, but God was
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not finished writing his story. The cross appeared
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to be Satan's greatest victory, but God raised
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Jesus from the dead. Again and again, when man
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reaches the end of himself, God begins revealing
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what he had planned all along. That is exactly
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what happened to us. When we had exhausted our
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own strength, God reminded us that our marriage
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had never been sustained by our strength in the
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first place. It had always been sustained by
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his grace. I cannot point to one single conversation.
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that suddenly changed everything. I cannot point
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to one counseling session that instantly fixed
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our marriage. I cannot tell you that we woke
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up one morning and every wound had disappeared.
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That is not how God worked in our lives. He began
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by bringing us back to Himself before He restored
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our marriage, He restored our hearts, before
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He healed our relationship with one another.
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He renewed our relationship with Him, and that
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changed everything. We began praying together
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again, not because someone told us we had to,
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but because we realized we could no longer live
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without God's presence at the center of our home.
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We returned to His word, not looking for information,
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but looking for Him. We repented. Not only are
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the things we had done wrong toward each other,
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but of the ways we had slowly allowed other things
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to take the place that only Christ was meant
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to occupy. Looking back today, I don't believe
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God simply repaired our marriage. He rebuilt
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our foundation. He reminded us that our covenant
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was never based on feelings. It was never sustained
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by emotions. It was never secured by our own
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determination. It was built upon Christ. And
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when Christ returned to the center of our house,
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the atmosphere began to change. Peace slowly
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returned. Grace became easier to extend. Forgiveness
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no longer felt impossible. Conversations that
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had once ended in frustration began leading us
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back toward understanding. The warmth returned,
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not because our circumstances suddenly became
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easier. but because the one who gives life to
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the house was once again occupying his rightful
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place. That is why I can stand before you today
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with absolute confidence and tell you this. God
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is not only able to restore marriages, he is
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able to restore everything that seemed to disappear
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inside the marriage. He restores hope. He restores
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trust. He restores joy. He restores friendship.
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He restores purpose. And sometimes, he even restores
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the very love you thought had been lost forever.
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Because our God has always been in the business
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of resurrection. He doesn't simply make things
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better. He makes all things new. When I look
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back on that season today, I don't see failure
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the way I once did. I see a loving Father who
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refused to let us continue building our marriage
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without Him at the center. At the time, I thought
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God was simply trying to save our marriage. Now
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I believe He was doing something much greater.
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He was teaching us what marriage was always meant
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to be. Marriage was never intended to be sustained
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by feelings. Feelings are beautiful. They are
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gifts from God. But they were never meant to
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become the foundation of a covenant. There were
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days when we felt deeply in love with one another.
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There were other days when those feelings seemed
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very far away. If our marriage had been built
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upon emotions alone, it would never have survived.
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But our covenant rested upon something much stronger
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than emotions. It rested upon the faithfulness
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of God. That changed the way we understood love.
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We stopped asking, how do I feel today? We began
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asking, how can I honor the covenant God has
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entrusted to us today? Those are very different
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questions. One is centered on self. The other
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is centered on Christ. I also discovered something
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that I had never fully understood before. God
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never asked me to change Giselle. He asked me
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to become more like Christ. That realization
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transformed the way I looked at our marriage.
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Instead of waiting for her to make the first
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step, God began dealing with my own heart. He
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exposed my pride. He revealed my impatience.
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He confronted the expectations I had placed upon
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my wife that only he could fulfill. And I have
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no doubt that at the same time, God was doing
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his work in Giselle's heart as well. That is
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how restoration begins. Not when one person changes
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the other, but when both people allow God to
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change them. That is why I no longer believe
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the greatest miracle in our story was that we
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stayed married. The greatest miracle was that
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Christ reclaimed his rightful place in our home.
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Because when he returned to the center, everything
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else slowly found its proper place again. The
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atmosphere changed. The conversations changed.
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Our home changed. Our future changed. Looking
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back today, I understand my father's story better
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than I ever did as a young man. The secret of
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the house in the middle of the forest was never
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the walls. It was never the windows. It was never
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even the fire itself. The secret was always the
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one the house was built for. A house where Christ
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is welcomed will never be a house without hope.
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It may experience storms. It may experience seasons
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of pain. It may even experience moments when
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the fire grows weak. But if Christ remains at
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the center, there is always hope for restoration.
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That is the testimony we wanted to share with
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you. Not because our marriage is perfect, but
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because our savior, As we come to the end of
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this journey together, I find myself thinking
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once again about my father. Many years ago, he
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told me a simple story about a house in the middle
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of the forest. At the time, I thought he was
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teaching me about marriage. Today, I realize
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he was teaching me about life, because every
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one of us is building a house. Some of you are
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preparing to get married. Some of you have been
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married for only a few years. Others have spent
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decades together. Some of you are walking through
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one of the happiest seasons of your lives. Others
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are listening today with tears in your eyes because
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your house no longer feels like home. Wherever
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you are on that journey, I want you to remember
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one thing. Never stop protecting the presence
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of God in your home. Protect it more than your
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reputation. Protect it more than your success.
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Protect it more than your possessions. Protect
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it more than being right. Because when God's
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presence remains at the center of your house,
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He will give you the wisdom to face every disagreement.
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the humility to ask for forgiveness, the grace
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to forgive one another, and the strength to remain
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standing when the storms eventually come. The
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forest has never been the greatest danger. Storms
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have never been the greatest danger. Even conflict
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has never been the greatest danger. The greatest
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danger is quietly learning to live without intentionally
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seeking the one who gave life to your home in
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the first place. Don't allow busyness to replace
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devotion. Don't allow familiarity to replace
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gratitude. Don't allow routine to replace worship.
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Don't allow complacency to convince you that
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yesterday's relationship with God will be enough
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for today's challenges. Continue praying together.
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Continue opening God's Word together. Continue
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worshiping together. Continue speaking life over
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one another. Continue protecting the atmosphere
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inside your home, because your children are growing
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inside that atmosphere. They are learning what
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love looks like, what forgiveness looks like,
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what faith looks like, and what it means to follow
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Christ, not only by listening to what you say,
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but by watching how you live. One day, they will
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build houses of their own. The atmosphere you
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cultivate today will become part of the foundation
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they carry into the next generation. That is
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why your marriage is bigger than the two of you.
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It is a testimony. It is a ministry. It is a
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legacy. And before we close this season, I want
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to leave you with the same lesson my father left
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with me. Never forget that the house was built
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in the middle of the forest. The forest never
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disappeared. The wind never stopped blowing.
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The cold never stopped surrounding the house.
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But none of those things determined what happened
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inside. The atmosphere inside the house was determined
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by what was protected inside the house. May that
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always be true of your home. May Christ always
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remain the center of your marriage. May his presence
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always be the fire that fills every room. And
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may your house become a place where your children,
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your grandchildren, your friends, and everyone
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who enters can experience the peace, the love,
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and the faithfulness of God. Because in the end,
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the greatest testimony of a Christian marriage
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is not that it never faced the forest. It is
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that, in the middle of the forest, it never stopped
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welcoming the presence of God. Before we close
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this season, I want to thank every one of you
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who has walked with us through the house in the
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middle of the forest. What began as a simple
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story my father shared with me became a journey
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that reminded us of something we must never forget.
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A Christian home is not sustained by walls. It
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is not sustained by emotions. It is not even
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sustained by good intentions. A Christian home
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is sustained by the presence of God. That is
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my prayer for you, that your house will remain
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warm, that your family will remain united, and
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that Christ will always be at the center of everything
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you build. But as we close this season, another
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question is already on my heart. What happens
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after the house is built? Because protecting
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a Christ -centered home is only one part of the
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journey. The reality is that every day we walk
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into a world filled with responsibilities, opportunities,
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promotions, ambitions, deadlines, and pressures
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that quietly compete for our attention. Very
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few homes are destroyed overnight. Many are slowly
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neglected while we are busy trying to build a
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successful life. That is why, in our next season
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of Pamoja Podcast, we're going to explore a journey
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that I believe speaks to every husband, every
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wife, every parent, every leader, every entrepreneur,
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every employee, and everyone who has ever struggled
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to keep life in its proper order when success
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steals your life. Together, we will discover
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how success can quietly create isolation. how
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ambition can slowly replace devotion, how providing
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for the people we love can sometimes keep us
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away from them, and why some of the greatest
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spiritual battles are fought not in moments of
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failure but in seasons of achievement. We will
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talk about David before Bathsheba, the appetite
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created by isolation, work husbands and work
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wives, providing everything except yourself.
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when labor becomes an idol, and how to come home
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again before success costs us what matters most.
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Because success is a wonderful servant, but it
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is a terrible master. And if we are not careful,
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we may gain everything we were chasing, while
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quietly losing everything God entrusted to our
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care. I cannot wait to begin this journey with
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you. Until then, Continue protecting the atmosphere
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inside your home. Continue making room for the
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presence of God. Continue choosing one another.
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And remember, the greatest success you will ever
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achieve is not measured by what you accomplish
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in the world, but by what remains alive inside
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your home when you walk through the front door.
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I'm Barry Mwamba. Thank you for joining me on
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Pomoja Podcast. God bless you, and I'll see you
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in season two, when success steals your life.