Latest / Cocktails and Corporate Chaos / Prosecco and Panties
Transcript
- Haidee: listeners it was her words laced her panties with cocaine, not mine. Shannon: Ever had a workday so wild you literally couldn't make it up? Welcome to Cocktails and Corporate Chaos. I'm Shannon. Haidee Griswold: And I'm Heidi, and we're bringing you the messy, hilarious workplace stories that usually require a double margarita to process. Shannon: So pour yourself something strong because the chaos is about to begin. Haidee Griswold: All stories on our podcast are true, but names may be changed or conveniently omitted to protect the innocent, the guilty, and ourselves from corporate HR emails. Shannon: Okay. Now that we are pretty much rockin' and rollin' in real life here. Haidee: I wouldn't refer to that as the TLDR of my life. But Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: remember I'm currently unemployed and sitting in a closet. Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: Rockin' and rollin' for somebody. It's like when the people say, how's your day? And everyone's like, I'm living the dream and then some of the other day like, Well, I'm living someone's dream, it's not mine Shannon: Heidi, it has finally come to the day where we are recording, your episode. Haidee: We are. We're doing it. We're starting off. I mean, you kind of forced it. You said, Hey, we should probably, you know, start one with something that we've done just to, prove to the world that we've got the stories to tell. And so, yes, we will start with one that I will say I I share a lot at Work Happy Hours. But I love that we're doing it. We're kicking it off. And I think we should do a like virtual toast. with our bubbles to really kick off the first episode. cheers. Shannon: Cheers. Yeah, and for our listeners, thanks for tuning in. If you missed what we just released last week as our sort of coming soon episode to give you an overview of the podcast in general, I encourage you to go back and listen to that because it has a little bit more information. But to kinda summarize it's true Haidee: The meeting before the meeting is Shannon: I think the thing that we've not really talked about, Heidi, is like how the fuck do we know each other? Haidee: yeah, I don't think we've ever shared that. Yeah. Passing in the night. Shannon: We're just two random people that hang out in their closets and bathroom unemployed. Haidee: my gosh. Yes. although we tried to figure out the other day how long we've known each other. Did we come up with an answer? It's been over ten years now, right? Shannon: Over ten years, but I think that's about all we know. Haidee: I feel like at some point you stop keeping track and you just say, like, we've known each other for forever. Like there's gotta be that in between word. But yes, we've Shannon: Yeah, it's a a before and an after, sort of like Covid, where it's like you you you define things by like before COVID or after COVID, but you don't really know like the middle pieces of the puzzle. Haidee: That's fair. We've known each other since before COVID. So obviously solidified as friends. And and just remembered our open air meetups during COVID too. Even during COVID we had to come together and vent about work. Shannon: That's true. And you had a newborn child and you had a wild Haidee: gosh, yeah. Shannon: labor story because you were pretty early Haidee: Ha ha Shannon: on of having a baby during COVID, which was just a total fucking dumpster fire. And so while you Haidee: Yeah, I was. Shannon: told me your birthing story, I was giving you the rundown of what's going on in the working world during COVID while we're all locked up at home. Haidee: You're giving me like a work birthing story, which was equally terrifying. We both spent Shannon: Spare. Haidee: many, many hours doing something we did not want to do. Shannon: that but yes, Heidi and I met at work many years ago and then got to sort of work on adjacent teams and then her and I got assigned to this really cool project that was very highly confidential where we had to keep a list of people who knew about it. And so we became very close during that time and shared many drinks because we could also only talk about work with each other. And the four other people who were on this team with us. And so then over time, Heidi and I kinda went different ways and then we worked together again. And then that was my reminder of how fun it is to see Heidi on a regular basis. And so now we're podcasting so Haidee: Ha ha ha. Shannon: we can keep in touch. Haidee: Pass the the test. I feel like what you didn't mention is the vibe check. You you when you meet somebody at work, it's like a yeah, I can interact with you at work. But then there's also that like, we could be friends outside of work. Like I actually like this person as a human. And you and I hit that pretty early on. So back to the project you mentioned, like we we wanted to be on that project together so that we could go work on something that we couldn't tell other people about so we could just goof off and spend so much time together. Shannon: And also Haidee: But yeah. Shannon: work traveled together but couldn't even tell our husbands where we were going. Haidee: Yeah. That was great. I'm like, sorry, I have to go to an undisclosed location for a you know, four days. Shannon: Yeah, and there there's like n no find my feature at the time. Haidee: Ha ha Shannon: and so yeah, we decided after many happy hours, coffee chats, random meetups that Heidi and I just wanted to try something else and keep our sort of banter and love for connecting with different people. And so we have started a podcast. I feel like cocktails in corporate chaos came to us much faster than how we've unraveled the structure of this. Haidee: definitely. We knew it was we wanted to project the chaos. So both of us have gone to, you know, happy hours, think also like Thanksgiving dinner with family. Like you're having all different things where you're talking to people about what you do for a living. And anytime I would share a story, they'd be like, What that happens in the office like everybody just assumes that, you know, corporate life is really buttoned up and we wanted to kinda pull back the curtain on that and say, It is absolutely not and these are the things that are wild that happen pretty regularly. Shannon: It's not buttoned up, but also no one prepares you for whatever the things are that happen and i all you can really do is laugh. Like it's just Haidee: Ya yes. You just buckle up and laugh. Shannon: Yes. and so what we will sort of instill across this as the adventure moves on, I mean, I have developed many more gray hairs since we originally started this Haidee: Ha ha ha. Shannon: a year ago. but so far we're gonna kick things off with a cocktail that our guest or either of us are drinking for the day, Before then jumping into a guest's chaotic story. And so we would love to have if you're a listener, come on or share your stories with us on our website and we might read those off if you don't really want to come on. But We keep people anonymous, hence not seeing our faces in any more of these episodes for now. And then we do a last call round. And so Haidee: I love it. Shannon: yeah, with that, Heidi, should we just jump into things for you? Haidee: Let's jump into it. I think the listeners know this is gonna be slightly different because we don't have a guest this episode. This is gonna be me sharing a story, and then Shannon will be sharing a story and her episode So let's jump into it. Shannon: And as a note, we know that not everybody these days drinks and so while we will be having alcohol, our guests or our listeners are welcome to drink or imbibe in whatever they feel necessary. Haidee: But we do want to know what they're imbibing in because we might want to change it up. So Shannon and I are are Shannon: This is true. Haidee: big cocktail drinkers, also wine and beer, you know, all the things. But we're open to anything. So come on and share with us what you're going through. I like to keep an open mind and I'm a I'm a parent of two small children, Shannon. I need any outlet Shannon: Well, we'll find out about anything, depending what we hear about. So this is fair. Haidee: advice that I can get. Shannon: On that note, Heidi, what are you drinking today? Haidee: Well, to kick us off, I am having a Rose Proseco. So it's a little pink drink with bubbles. Shannon: Ooh. Haidee: You know I like all things bubbles. Our listeners are gonna be so annoyed with how basic I am, but I love all things sparkling. And so I felt like we needed to celebrate today. Shannon: And I am having a glass of champagne to celebrate as well. And so cheers to finally kicking this off. Yeah. Haidee: We're doing it. Shannon: Alright, so would love to know what is your hot take on updating your resume after a meeting? Haidee: No. Shannon: Not good, Haidee: It's funny Yeah, well I was just picturing a moment where I've done this real time. I didn't actually wait Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: until the end of the meeting. It was one of those moments where I was still in the meetings. We were on a Zoom call. I was Shannon: Yes. Haidee: sitting at my desk and it was just going sideways. Everybody it was the like fourth time that we were debating the same topic that we'd already agreed on. Shannon: God, I hate these meetings. Haidee: probably two or three weeks ago. Yes. And they had to rehash it and everybody had new feelings. And during that, I remember pulling up my resume, just being like, all right, how am I gonna word this? And I wrote something Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: like coordinates, multiple stakeholder, you know, like talking about like what I'm doing Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: in this moment of like adding this bullet point to my resume. And it's so funny how You the things that you want to put on a resume, like, I have to herd cats all the time and get people to agree to things in the reality the the way you actually write it of coordinating multiple stakeholder teams. But yes, I have done that more than once and sometimes real time. I will say it's very therapeutic, because I could process a little bit better of like this was a real shitty meeting, and instead I'm like, okay, maybe I got a resume bullet out of this and I can move on and now I'm, you know, gonna look for jobs over the weekend. Shannon: Or during the meeting. Either or. Haidee: Yeah, I've done that too. Mainly internal jobs. I've not looked externally during a meeting because I'm always afraid I'll accidentally share a screen. Cause you know how like we've all Shannon: That's yeah. Haidee: been in a meeting where someone accidentally shares their screen or like shows the wrong screen and it's their entire Slack feed with someone about how they hate the company to and then you're like who could who can screenshot the fastest to take it? Like that's Shannon: You're just gathering information off of that screen is really what's happening, if it gets shown. Haidee: always a panic. Shannon: I have only updated my resume post meeting earlier in my career. I worked for a company that was laying off like everyone, it seemed like. And so it was more the sort of drags of constantly calling into a meeting or going to a meeting physically at that time, and then following up somebody in the afternoon, and then they just no longer existed at the company. And it just became this like Haidee: wow. Shannon: perpetual game of whack a mole of my peers. And so I was like, well, I guess I should probably start working on my resume because when's my turn? Haidee: People are disappear. This is a a good like murder mystery kind of theme Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: of like, Hey, you're working with, you know, Bob in the morning and all of a sudden Bob's gone and what happens next? Shannon: Yeah, and it's like, okay, who's doing Bob's action item? Okay, we don't care about this anymore. Moving on. Well, Hattie, what story are you going to kick this podcast off with? Haidee: Well, so Shannon knows this story. I I'll call this my go-to happy hour work story. So I have shared this with a few people. In fact, when I've told friends that Shannon and I are starting a podcast, they always say, are you gonna tell this story? Because they've heard it and it's it's pretty wild and it was very formidable for me. It shaped who I am as a person in my career. So I it was we'll call it career defining in a couple different ways, but it was a bit of a Yes. Shannon: Which I think I know then which story this is, but I don't think I know all the details, which will be fun. Haidee: Yes. And as part of this exercise, I dug up my journal. So previous Shannon: Good. Haidee: young Heidi, young new to corporate America Heidi, used to journal. So I was looking through it. I Shannon: Wow, this is incredible. Haidee: know I've got a little bit more details. but this was Shannon: I hope that we have a journal reading entry. If not, let's do that at the end. Haidee: should do that. the unrealers like like reading at a bookstore and I here's an excerpt from my book where I Shannon: Yes. Haidee: was clearly it's like tear stained because I was crying. No. Okay, so let me give some context. We're gonna go back to early career. So this, you know, decade plus I probably shouldn't say that, that's giving my age. But anyways, it was I was in my early twenties. Details. Shannon: Probably more than a decade. Haidee: well I was in my early twenties and I had just become a manager. Now, keep in mind, young Heidi, like at eight years old, all I wanted to be was a boss lady. Like I would carry around this Lisa Frank sticker case and call it my briefcase. This like bright purple, shiny, glittery thing. I would walk around and be like, I'm a boss lady and here's my briefcase. So in my mind Yeah, yes. Shannon: Where did this come from? Like did one of your parents carry around a briefcase? Haidee: Yeah, probably. Yeah, my mom had a leather one that she took in to work. I mean, this was, you know, boomers all had a briefcase. That feels like a thing. Shannon: I guess. They're not carrying a laptop. Haidee: No no, they're carrying like their daily snack and, you know, a notebook. but I would carry around this Lisa Frank case as my briefcase and I mean yes, I had crackers and stickers in it and that was it. But to me, like young Heidi thought, when you grow up, if you become a manager, you've made it. And it was like getting a a kitchen aid mixer on the counter in your kitchen meant that's how you made it in the home. I tried really hard to like right out of college I was like okay I'm gonna do this I'm gonna go get the business degree I'm gonna go and become a manager so I'm in my early to mid-20s I become a manager and at this point I was managing a team of seven now all of them were far more experienced than I was and we're talking like Shannon: Which is also a pretty large team as a first manager. Haidee: I mean, yeah, clearly they were desperate or they wouldn't have done this. But I kept raising my hand saying, I wanna be a manager, I wanna be a manager and at the time everybody else was smarter than me and realized, No, I don't wanna do that. Shannon: Yeah, they're all like, I have enough experience here and through my corporate life to know don't put your hand up. Haidee: Yes. Exactly. But you know, I was young and hungry, so I went for it. And I come in one day and one of my employees comes up to me and she says, Hey, just so you know, and I'm gonna change names here for the sake of the not so innocent, just so you know, Brenda, also another employee on my team. Brenda just got angry in a meeting and she threw a dry erasa marker at my head is what my employee told me. I'm like, okay. I try to be casual. Shannon: Always something you want to hear. Haidee: Yes, I try to be like real casual about it and professional. I'm like, okay, like two people are not getting along. And this was before I was a parent, so you know, navigating those dynamics were also harder. But I noticed as she was telling me the story, on her shirt there was a black mark, you know, like a dry eraser or like leave those dark Shannon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Haidee: black marks. And she had that white colored shirt, 'cause again we're all dressing for success at the time, so we're all Exactly, Shannon: Y that's just what you wore on a regular daily basis. Haidee: we And so I noticed that was like, Okay, that That must have really like impacted the fact that she hit her in the head. It's on her shirt. And so I was like, okay, I need to take this seriously. And so I like talked to her about it. And I said, Okay, I'm gonna go talk to Brenda. I'm gonna go have a discussion with her and I'll follow up with you later. So then I go and find Brenda and I ask her if we can chat in private. And this was back in the day where we had those tiny little conference rooms that were used for when you did in person interviews. And so I asked if we could step into Shannon: had like a round table and like Haidee: a conference room. Shannon: sorry. Haidee: two people, real small, real tight. Yes. And Shannon: Yep. Like if you start sweating in there and getting warm, everybody's getting warm. Haidee: So we go into this tiny little conference room, and I mean at at top glance, like Brenda doesn't seem phased at all. And she follows me, you know, she's goes and sits down across from me at this tiny little round table. And she sits down and I'm I'm kinda closing the door, gathering my thoughts, because again, you're never trained to like how to have these conversations of like Shannon: Yeah, what thoughts are you even gathering? I'd be like, fuck. Haidee: Well in my mind it's like, don't throw things at your coworkers, you know, like the typical lecture of, you know, be nice to everybody. And then I close the door and before I turn around to sit down, she just jumps right in and she says, Hey, before you ask, I just want you to know that I'm currently on cocaine. And I just like Shannon: right. Haidee: I I I looked at her and I I remember holding the chair like as I sat down, like as if the chair was being pulled out from underneath me. Shannon: And just everything's in slow motion. Haidee: So I like Yes, and I I held the chair with like I'm using I'm doing this now, you can't see it listeners, but like I held turned my left arm behind me and like hold the chair to slowly sit down to like prepare. Yeah. Shannon: Just sink and I would be just like sinking under the table and be like, please disappear. Haidee: Yes! I know. Well, if I'll be honest, I was like, okay, look, this is not how I expected this meeting to go, so I'm intrigued a little bit. And then she proceeds to tell me a pretty elaborate story. Again, pretty unprompted, of how her ex-boyfriend snuck into her house the night before and laced her panties with cocaine. Shannon: This is the wildest part of this to me. This is the part I'd heard before, where like does this guy have a key to your house or apartment? You don't even know he's coming in. And how does he find your panties? Like there's just so many pieces Haidee: Yeah So Shannon: of this. Haidee: First off I have to say for listeners it was her words laced her panties with cocaine, not mine. Like she used the word laced and panties. Like we're all adult women, but anyways and she shares with me that she lays her clothes out for the next day every night. So the night before she lays out what she's gonna wear and she left them in the room. Shannon: Which is just insane. Haidee: I yeah, I don't know any adult that does this. And if you do, your life is way more put together than mine. Which again Not surprising, but Shannon: Or they have other O C Dish tendencies that I'm sorry that you have to do that every day. Haidee: Good point, yes. Or you want someone to sneak into your house and lace your panties. That could also be a reason. But yeah, Shannon: Send a flare up. Haidee: but she says that she lays her clothes out every night the night before, and he snuck in, laced her panties with cocaine, and then the next morning she woke up, she put her clothes on, and then as she put her panties on, the cocaine absorbed into her system from her vagina. And Shannon: This is just it l is this how this works? I don't understand. Haidee: You know, y I have been asked this a couple of times and still to this day I've never Googled it, so we definitely should. I've never really Googled like can you absorb anything, let alone cocaine, through your vagina. Shannon: Well, I guess the answer is yes to absorbing things. Haidee: Shannon's like, Well, back you know, when I was in college Shannon: but I think there's like creams and things you could put down there that are absorbent. But it's like but if Haidee: But cream is different than powder. Shannon: exactly, that's my question, is cocaine seems to be the texture of the substance, like how does this happen? Haidee: You know, t I'll be honest, at that moment when she's telling me this story, and keep in mind, like I am a Midwestern girl born and raised on a dairy farm. Like I have a very sheltered background. So I don't have a lot of follow-up questions while she's telling Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: me this story. And so I just pause. But I did have enough management training to know I need to go Shannon: Except for where do I get cocaine? Haidee: get HR. And so I I paused her cover like she tells me this whole thing. She tells me that she's currently high because it absorbed into her system. And again, I think I just had a lack of reaction because I'm in it's just pure shock on my face at this point. And I didn't Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: want to anger her because she's high on cocaine. She already threw something at another coworker. Like she's Shannon: Yeah, you're like, where is this going to go? Haidee: yeah, she's already erratic. I want to keep her calm. She just, you know, assaulted someone. So I said, okay, give me a moment. I'm gonna go get HR. We'll have this conversation, but I want to make sure they're in the room also. And again, Brenda's like, Yep, makes sense. I'll wait here. And so I walk out of this like tiny conference room, shut the door behind me, kind of slowly, you know, very casually, like I know what I'm doing. And then I just start sprinting Shannon: Yeah Haidee: to where HR sits. And again, I'm in a full suit, so I'm sweating by this point. Cause from the small conference room. I'm a hundred percent not a runner, listeners, and Shannon: That on top of I don't think I've known you as a runner. Haidee: you can see like nothing about me screams runner. Shannon: Ha ha. Haidee: And so, but I I just I didn't know what to do and it was this like the shock is starting to take hold. So I run to Shannon: Did you have flats on or high heels? Haidee: I probably had like a kitten heel if I'm being transparent here. Shannon: okay. Haidee: I mean, this was back where everybody wore heels, so I definitely had something. I You know, it's funny, I I feel like that adrenaline takes over and I'm like, I could Shannon: That's why I'm like, how did you run? But good for you. Yes. You're just like, fuck, I need to find HR now. Yes. Haidee: do anything right now, I could lift a car. But I run to Shannon: Brenda felt the same way. Haidee: Maybe maybe it absorbed into me by os like association and osmosis. But I remember running because I remember being so sweaty by the time that I got to HR. so I run over there and I knew who my HR rep was. Her name was Deedra. She was wonderful. I walked up and she was this up at the copy machine making copies or the printer, which also again ages me in this story. Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: But she's just like, you know, casually and I run up and she kind of sees me and looks over and she's like, Heidi, like what's going on? And I tell her what Brenda just told me. I basically like quickly out of breath. I'm winded. I'm like, Brenda just told me she's high on cocaine because she absorbed it through her, you lacing your panties. Shannon: Nice. Haidee: And I like try get it all out. And Deadra just like casually sets down the paper that she's working on on the printer and she says, Okay, like let's go talk with her together. Like very calm, very put together, but also look pretty stoic. Like she's just she's done this before, Shannon: I was just thinking about imagine that the piece of paper she sets on the photocopier is somebody else's termination. It's just like her her brain just Haidee: No you know it's like yes, a hundred percent. Shannon: forgets what did I just copy because I'm not used to hearing that my boy is on cocaine. Haidee: It's like the compensation list for everybody at the company. She just casually sets Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: it down. She's like, okay, let's let's go talk to her together. So then I we start walking back over. And now and Deedra's again, very she's walking calmly. So I'm walking calmly. And I'm like, okay, like I can do this. We can do this together. All of a sudden I'm like, I'm sweating through my pits because again I'm in a full suit because that's what everybody had to wear back then. And I'm like, gosh. And so I gather myself. Shannon: God, I'm so glad that's not the thing today. Haidee: I fang anymore. Thank you, Gen Z. I feel like I could probably wear sweatpants now and still blend in. Shannon: And COVID. Haidee: And COVID. Very true. So we go back into the conference room. I have to like awkwardly pull a chair in, because there's only two chairs. We have to pull in a third. And now that Deadra's here, can you please share it again? and then Brenda proceeds to tell, like, very casually the whole story over again. About Shannon: So crazy. Haidee: like, hey, and my ex-boyfriend stuck into my house and laced my panties with cocaine and it absorbed into my system, and so that's where I am today, and that's why I threw a dry erase marker. And she also mentioned that she ran across the building. And she's like, that's why I threw the dry erase marker. That's why I ran across the building and threw my shoe at someone, which I didn't know about that. And so the like Shannon: Wasn't part of her original story. Haidee: No, but apparently when she's high on cocaine, she's a thrower. So she likes to throw things at people. And then we get to the end, and Deedra just nods the whole time. She doesn't ask like follow-up questions. She's just nodding and she's kind of, you know, just taking mental notes. And then she says, okay, at the end, very calm, very casual, and she's like, okay, Heidi and I are gonna step outside, we're gonna chat a little bit, and then we'll be right back. And then we both get up, leave the room, and then she closes the door behind me, and then Deirdre looks at me and she mouths, Holy fuck. And I just think the Shannon: Yes. Haidee: like sh She was so calm throughout it that I thought that I was overreacting. And then she has this moment of, I can't believe this is happening. Shannon: And then you can let out a breath 'cause you're like, we're both on the same page here. This is fucked up. Haidee: Yes. And then I I feel like she just needed to hear it firsthand because again I was r when I told her about it the first time I was so sweaty and out of breath that I was like, This is all happening because she's like, I clearly need to help, Heidi, because she's not in a good spot. But it just made me feel so much better that okay, like this is this is not normal. This is not something that happens every day. And we go back into the room. we didn't really discuss anything real. she's like, Okay, let's go back in and we go back in, sit down and Shannon: She's like, stop sweating from every piece of your body. Haidee: Yes Yes, exactly. Everything's gonna be okay. Calm down. We go back in and Deirdre tells Brenda, like, you know, thank you for disclosing all of this to us. Like this is really useful information. It's good to know. And she's like, We have two paths for you. Which is first, you know, you have disclosed to us that you're high on drugs. So your first path is you're terminated immediately for violating your employment agreement by being high and on drugs. Or two, you can choose to immediately seek treatment and enter a rehab facility and basically go on a leave of absence. Shannon: yeah. Haidee: So and again, Brenda was so calm, which again, high on cocaine. I thought that she would be, you know, erratic or, you know, know what to do, but she was almost calculatingly calm. Shannon: Which in hindsight and later now in your career you realize she knew what the fuck was going on. Haidee: my gosh, yes. Like I mean, it took me this process and then a couple others to be honest, but it took me a few Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: to realize she knew exactly what she was doing. And so Shannon: Yeah, like choosing rehab is the option here because you're probably gonna get paid Haidee: Yeah, she immediately agreed. Shannon: to go to do that. Haidee: Totally. She immediately agreed to seek treatment. And so Deedra and I had to document everything and then sh Deater's like, Okay, now you need to escort her off the premises. Like she needs to no longer be on the premises while she's high on drugs. And so I'm like Yeah. Shannon: And maybe a cab should be called for her because probably shouldn't be driving. Haidee: That's true. She did call a friend, which I clarified was not her ex boyfriend. And so I had to walk her to we had a little guard gate to get into the facility. So I'm walking her out and we have to walk in the main aisle where cubicles and everybody's sitting. And so I'm walking her out and she becomes really vocal. She went from being pretty calm in that conference room to getting really vocal. Like everybody's sitting at their desks and kind of looking up and then she's just like, hey, I have to leave because I'm high and like and then and she just got like a whole bunch my gosh. I mean Shannon: no. How mortified were you? Haidee: honestly I w I'm again I'm still sweating because I'm just so uncomfortable with this whole situation. I'm trying to just like look in front of me of just get through this moment, get through this Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: day. But I did get a lot of like kind of odd, sympathetic looks of just people just felt bad for me, I think, because she had a bit of a reputation. Shannon: Mm. Haidee: And so that made it a little bit easier. Shannon: And they were probably like, as surprised as I am at this exact moment, I'm not surprised. Haidee: Yeah, I think yes. you know, the hindsight's twenty twenty, looking back, I should have been more aware of that. But again, I was young, I was naive, I thought, if you're on my team, you're here to be successful and you care, and you care as much as I do, which listener, I think you've all probably experienced that. That is not true. No. But again, I was young, I was naive. Shannon: Not true. Also, I feel like when you're in a young position like this, it's not like you can think on your feet as fast because you've not had a bunch of experiences. So it's just sort of that deer Haidee: A hundred percent, yes. Shannon: in headlights, sweating from everything. fuck Bowman. Haidee: Now to give context, because this is also slightly embarrassing, so we might cut this out in editing, but I did a volunteer thing where we picked up trash off the side of the road. Same company. This company like sponsored that Adopt a Highway. And I was picking up trash with coworkers once, and there were these tiny little Ziploc bags, like tiny, tiny, tiny, like the size of my hand. And I thought, like they're like coin collecting bags. And my co worker was like, Heidi, that's a dime bag. Don't touch it. And I didn't know what a dime bag I thought a dime bag meant coin collecting. Like you put a dime Shannon: That's fair. Haidee: in it. So that should tell you how sheltered of a childhood I had. And how I just I wasn't prepared for, you know, cocaine in the office. Shannon: It's good summary. Haidee: So anyways, back to Brenda. I finally get her to the guard gate. She has somebody come pick her up. She's gone. So I go back in and then like, I had to do a shit ton of paperwork on this day. But Shannon: I imagine. Haidee: but from then on, she goes on medical leave. So she's out for six weeks. She goes to rehab, but she's still considered an employee on my team. And so at some point she's supposed to come back. But in the next six weeks, I'll be honest, our team was fantastic. Like everybody started just performing better. They were happier at work. They weren't getting assaulted anymore. It was just a generally happy environment. And so I felt like, okay, I'm hitting the groove again. yes, a hundred percent. Shannon: So yeah, Brenda was the problem. And having that coworker on your team is just like, damn it. And then, you know, they go on vacation or something. It's or quit is the better option here. But then the whole team is just like, we can bond together because this sort of stick in the mud is not here anymore. I get it. Haidee: Well, and I've it totally And then this is the funny part. So six weeks later she comes back. and on the day that she was supposed to come back to work, I got a call from security. Now keep in mind, my day at this in this job started at 7 30 in the morning. So Shannon: Oof. Haidee: I as the manager had to be on site at 7 30. And so the day she was supposed to come back, I get a call from the security, that guard gate that I had to walk her out to before. the security guard, tells me that she hit the security gate coming into work that morning Shannon: No. Haidee: and was noticeably drunk, so they had to call the police. Shannon: So rehab didn't work. Haidee: Or like she doubled down. Shannon: No, I mean one, poor Brenda, because too bad for her. But two, like 730 in the morning. How much have you been drinking for what hour did you start at? Haidee: I was gonna say, or you just never stopped. Like I either way, she Sunday scaries are a real thing. Shannon: Just rollin' it yeah. Rollin' into that Monday morning for real. Haidee: So so yeah. after that I said, you know, again, I'm like, okay, I'll document this once more. And so I never heard from her or about her after that. She was removed from my team, which was great. Yes, a hundred percent. She was removed from my team. Shannon: What a relief. Yeah, it's someone else's problem. Haidee: But to be fair, she still went on as an employee. Like when you went into the org chart, she was still in the system. So she probably just said she was drunk and got to go to rehab again. But she kinda became like this urban legend over time of just like never really gone but also never there. Shannon: I mean, I feel like many companies have probably had these type of people doing different things. So if listeners, you have had this experience at your company or being a manager and and had something similar, we would love to hear it. I would be surprised if it's another cocaine panties, but we will take any other versions of this. Haidee: Or maybe listeners are like, wait a minute, I can put cocaine in my panties and go to work. I should absolutely do this. Shannon: Only if you lay your clothes out. Haidee: Only, yes. So the part that I completely forgot about after years and years and years, I saw in my journal, because again, young Heidi was much better at journaling than current Heidi, was I was looking through it and up there was a moment Day two, when I became a manager, my second day as a manager of this team, I got a Shannon: Which is probably how long before this incident? Haidee: it was about it was weeks, so like s five to six weeks. Shannon: Okay. Okay. Haidee: yeah, Brenda did not last long on my team. But day two of being a manager, like day one I get, you know, the new laptop, I get assigned the team. day two I have my first team meeting, which is why I wrote in my journal of I'm a manager, I'm so excited. then I get a call from another manager at the company because he has an employee who has a restraining order against Brenda. And so anytime Shannon: no Haidee: he needed to come to a meeting that was closer to where my team sat, the manager had to call me to let me know that there was gonna be an infringement on the like distance that they could be apart from each other. Shannon: Whoa. So you had to tr one, you had to track this and know where people were. Haidee: I had to track it. So I had to be physically next to Brenda anytime this other person, her like a different ex-boyfriend, apparently, or ex-lover. She never referred to him as a boyfriend. But ex-lover had a restraining order against Shannon: What a nightmare Yeah. Haidee: her. So anytime he was within 50 feet, I had to be right next to her. So that she couldn't assault him, I guess. I don't know. But I completely forgot about this. But also Shannon: I love that this is a detail. Yeah, a detail that just like escaped your brain completely and now Haidee: It's just so funny because I go back and there's the first day of there's the the entry of like I got the management role, I'm so excited. Then there's, you know, first day and you know, there's it's all this admin stuff and then second day it's I had to sit next to my employee because there's an outstanding Shannon: Ha ha Haidee: restraining order against her. It just Shannon: Ha ha. Haidee: and somehow that slipped my mind 'cause again, cocaine panties trumps everything, but wild. Shannon: So do you wish you would have become a housewife and used the KitchenAid mixer instead of this? Haidee: I mean, I would love to be what is it, like a trophy wife. I just but now I I wouldn't have enough good content for the podcast. I can't do it anymore. Like there's there's too many Shannon: It's true. Haidee: good stories over the years. Shannon: That's crazy. I just I can't believe that Brenda, in her return to office, just sends herself back to rehab. Haidee: Yes. And again, I mean, as long as you disclose first that you are on drugs, they'll allow you to go to rehab. And she knew that game. She kept playing it so well. Shannon: Okay, Heidi. Since this is the first episode, first one for our listeners, we do a last call round where I'm gonna ask you a set of questions that you don't know what they are. We'll do this with each guest that we have on. So for yours, knowing what you know now about the corporate system and what Brenda was doing, what would you change in your approach with Brenda or HR? Haidee: you fe This is embarrassing. You'd think I'd thought about this of like the classic Shannon: Yeah Haidee: what would you do differently? I mean honestly, I don't know that I would have done much differently other than just absorb more of the story from her. Like I would have I would have poked more Shannon: Hmm, ask more questions. Haidee: Yeah, asked more questions, poked more holes, like tried to really understand Like, how do you know that he snuck into your house? How do you know that it was in your panties? Like, how do you know all these th like she just she had it Yes, exactly. Like she just had Shannon: Tell me how co cocaine gets absorbed through the panties. Yes. Good call. Haidee: a pre-planned story that we all just accepted. So I think it would have poked moholes in her story and probably also just left there and Googled, how possible this is. But I mean, she needed help. She eventually got help, but she also just knew how to get through to the system. I mean more direct answer over the years as more people have come and tried to kind of do something similar, obviously not to the same extent that Brenda did, I have done that where I'm like, okay, so this is why you're feeling this way. Let's talk about this more. Shannon: Do you think about the Brenda incident or your wedding day more? Haidee: I mean, since my husband's not here, I will say I do think about Brenda quite often. So Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: shockingly, so it's just been so formidable because I I mentor a lot of people now. Like you get to that certain pace where you're no longer being mentored as much. You're starting to mentor other people and people are like, I really want to be a manager. And it's always the first story I tell because I think Yes, you think you want to be a manager because at some point someone told you this is your definition of success, but then I tell Brenda's story and then I love seeing the reaction. It's like those YouTube videos where you watch people watch something. Like I like watching people when I Shannon: Yeah Haidee: he tell this story because they're just like, What the fuck? Like this really happens? I'm like, Yes, this is real. These are the things that no one taught you and there's no training for that you have to react to as a manager and you have to do it on the spot. So I do think about Brenda probably more often than my wedding day, sadly to admit that. But yes. Which I think Brenda, if she knew that, would love that she has that much rent free space in my head. Shannon: Yeah. Brenda, if you're out there, please message us. We'd love to have you on. Haidee: gosh. I I I feel like I can't for my own sanity engage, but if she just willingly reached out to the podcast, then yes. Shannon: Yeah. maybe a little foreshadowing, my management experience as a first time manager is also a wild off the rails story which will be coming up in a future episode. Haidee: I can't wait. It's so good. Shannon: Okay. would you rather lace your panties with cocaine or dance on the Haidee: No. Shannon: table at your next company conference? Haidee: I'm gonna say dance on the table at my next company conference because I mean company conferences, anything goes. And I mean I still to this day don't really know what the absorption rate of cocaine into your vagina is, but that's the last place that I wanna experience drugs. Shannon: That's fair, and maybe you might end up in the hospital and so you at least know your alcohol Haidee: Yeah. Shannon: intake. Haidee: Totally. Plus it just, you know, it feels like a safer bet to be like, I was just I was doing this for the customers at the the company conference. This is what they asked for. Like I can explain that one away. Much easier than cocaine panties. Shannon: Fair. All right. We will be asking all of our guests this question, but I'm excited to know what yours is to kick us off. What is your least favorite corporate buzzword? Haidee: Ugh, instantly. It is circle back. I hate everything about the like, let's circle Shannon: Ha ha ha Haidee: back on this. It for a lot of reasons, but it like first and foremost makes me annoyed because I'm like, let's let's come back to this thing. I'm like, no, we need to hash it out right now. If this is something that there's a problem, let's discuss it. I don't want to come back to this and have be Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: triggered again by the same concept. Like it drives me absolutely crazy. I hate that word or phrase. Shannon: Yeah, I think that visually in my head when I think about it, it's like nothing about this is solving a problem. Let's just talk about it now or just never talk about it again. Haidee: Totally. I will say though, a close second for me is double click. Have you ever heard Shannon: Mm. Haidee: the like, let's double click on this? Which I know is supposed to be like an old Microsoft term, but it drives me cra Shannon: Is that where that came from? Haidee: I that's what I've been told. I don't know if that's real or if that's like, you know, the fable of it. But I hate it because it has a second connotation. Like I've heard double click as like a woman masturbating. Like she double clicks. And so anytime I hear like an old man in a meeting say like let's double click on this, I'm like, gosh, he doesn't realize that this is like also could potentially mean a woman pleasuring herself and I just everything about it makes me uncomfortable in a meeting. Shannon: All right. Well, thanks for getting our first episode story out to our listeners, and I'm excited to see how everything unfolds. Haidee: and I can't wait for Shannon to share her story in a future episode also. Shannon: So I just Googled what is the absorption rate of cocaine in panties. Haidee: I love a I'm like private window. How do I make this to work? Google doesn't know about me. Shannon: Did not make it private. there is no specific absorption rate for cocaine through underwear or panties, as fabric does not absorb drugs pharmaceutically. However, if cocaine comes in direct contact with the mucous membranes, such as the vaginal or rectal mucosa, via clothing or other means, it can be absorbed directly into the bloodstream. And Haidee: funny, I never thought to ask did it go in the vagina or in the rectum? But she was very specific about vagina, so I just let it go. Shannon: You yeah, you didn't have to ask the detailed question. She could have just said in my underwear. and it sounds like absorption is generally rapid. Haidee: What? So it's a real thing. Shannon: But it can somewhat alter or delay peak effects depending on how what blood vessels it goes into. Haidee: Which makes sense 'cause she was fine until she got to work and Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: then became erratic. So her commute was okay, but then once Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: she was at work it was wrong. Shannon: And who knows, she could have some Bailey's in her coffee that morning based on some other things that she's had. Haidee: my gosh, I just Googled this too. The vagina this headline is fantastic. It's this is embarrassed. The vagina is an effective route of drug delivery from contemporary OBGYN. Shannon: Yeah. Well some listeners probably know this much more than us, maybe from their profession or from sampling. Haidee: Gosh, I've never thought to ask my doctor this. Maybe my next gen I'll be like, so just you know, asking for a friend, what's Shannon: Yeah. Haidee: the absorption rate if I were to put drugs in my vagina? Shannon: If you have a wild workplace story, share it with us and we can feature in a future episode. Cheers to surviving another dumpster fire of corporate chaos. Stay bold, stay unfiltered, and ingest your cocaine the old fashioned way. If you want to hear more stories, follow and subscribe to Cocktails and Corporate Chaos wherever you get your podcasts. And listen to the next episode which is already posted and you'll hear about a feral, anything goes workplace.