Latest / The Copywriting Podcast with Fexingo: Sales Letters, Headlines, and Persuasive Writing / How a Two-Word Headline Doubled Response Rate
Transcript
- Lucas: There's a headline from 1923 that still makes me stop every time I read it. It ran in a New York newspaper, cost about thirty-five dollars for the space, and pulled in enough students to keep a correspondence school afloat for the next decade. Luna: Which headline? Lucas: John Caples wrote it. The headline was: 'They Laughed When I Sat Down at the Piano — But When I Started to Play!' Luna: Oh, the classic. That's the one everyone cites for the curiosity gap. But I feel like we've done a whole episode on Caples already — episode ten, right? Lucas: We did. But I want to look at something narrower today. The structure behind that headline. Specifically, the two-word phrase that does all the heavy lifting. 'They laughed' — that's the setup. 'When I started to play' is the payoff. But the engine is in the middle: the word 'but'. Luna: A single conjunction? Lucas: It's a two-word headline if you isolate it: 'But when.' That tiny pivot creates a gap. You have to read the next sentence to close it. And Caples knew that if he could get you to read the first line of body copy, he had you. The ad apparently ran for forty years. Luna: Forty years? Same headline? Lucas: Slight tweaks here and there, but the core never changed. That's the power of a structure that creates an open loop. Now, I want to contrast that with something you see all the time on landing pages today: the adjective headline. 'Amazing free guide.' 'Incredible new tool.' Those words — amazing, incredible, revolutionary — they're empty. They don't open a loop. Luna: They close it. They tell you how to feel before you've even experienced anything. Lucas: Exactly. So in the early 2000s, a marketer named Dean Jackson tested a headline for a real estate coaching program. The original headline was something like 'Learn How to Flip Houses Fast.' Decent. Specific. But he changed it to 'How I Flipped a House in 14 Days — Without Using My Own Money.' Response doubled. Luna: That's the same principle. The first version is declarative. The second version opens a loop — 'How I' and then a specific number and a twist. You have to read the body to find out how. Lucas: Right. The two-word engine there is 'How I.' It's a promise of a story. And stories are the most reliable curiosity generators we have. Now, I'd argue that a lot of modern SaaS companies have rediscovered this, sometimes by accident. I saw a landing page for a project management tool — their headline was 'Stop Losing Track of Tasks.' That's a negative frame, but still a statement. They tested 'Why Your Team Is Still Using Spreadsheets — and What to Do About It.' Click-through rate went up by 87 percent. Luna: The 'Why Your...' opener. That's a cousin of 'How I.' It implies a diagnosis. It makes the reader feel like they're about to learn something about themselves. Lucas: And that's the key. The best two-word headline engines don't sell. They invite. 'What if.' 'The secret.' 'Why most.' 'How to.' Each one creates a small contract: read this, and you'll find out. Luna: Alright, so we've got 'But When,' 'How I,' 'Why Your.' What's your favorite? Lucas: I'm partial to 'What if.' It's the most open-ended. In the 1960s, a copywriter named Eugene Schwartz used 'What if Your Child Could Read at Age Three?' for a children's learning program. He told me once that the headline worked because it planted a possibility the parent hadn't dared to consider. The two words did all the work. Luna: And you got to talk to Eugene Schwartz? That's incredible. He's one of the greats. Lucas: I interviewed him for a magazine piece in the late eighties. He was in his seventies then, still writing. He told me that most copywriters overcomplicate headlines. They try to cram the entire offer into eight words. But the headline's only job is to get the first sentence read. And the first sentence's job is to get the second sentence read. Luna: That's almost exactly what Caples said. 'The headline is the advertisement for the advertisement.' Lucas: Which brings me to a test I ran a few years ago for a client selling online courses. Their control headline was 'Master Excel in 30 Days.' That's fine. But we tested a version that started with 'What If You Could Master Excel in Half the Time?' The 'What If' version beat the control by 42 percent. Same offer, same price, same landing page. The only difference was opening a loop instead of closing it. Luna: I love that because it's such a cheap fix. You don't need a new product or a new design. You just change two words. Lucas: And that's the lesson I want listeners to take away today. Before you write a headline, ask yourself: does this open a loop or close one? If it closes, rewrite it. Use one of the two-word engines. 'How to,' 'Why I,' 'What if,' 'The one,' 'How I,' 'But when.' Pick one and see what happens. Luna: Speaking of 'The one' — I've seen that used really effectively in subject lines. 'The one thing stopping your sales.' That feels urgent without being pushy. Lucas: It works because it promises a specific insight. You're not saying 'Here are ten things.' You're saying there's a single bottleneck, and I know what it is. That's powerful. I want to keep this conversation going — these are the sorts of insights that can change how you write forever. Luna: And if these marketing conversations have sparked something you've actually used — maybe you rewrote a subject line after listening to an episode, or you tested a different headline — that's exactly why we do this. We keep the show ad-free because we believe good copy education should be freely available. Lucas: Yeah, listener support is what makes that possible. If you've gotten value from the show, you can throw a few dollars into the tip jar at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. That's buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It helps us keep the lights on and the episodes coming. Luna: Now back to the two-word engines. Lucas, you mentioned 'How to' — that one feels almost too obvious. Is it still effective? Lucas: It is, but only if the 'how to' is followed by something specific and desirable. 'How to Write Better Emails' is weak. 'How to Write Emails That Get a 50 Percent Open Rate' is strong. The specificity does the heavy lifting. And that's the other half of the equation. The two-word engine opens the loop, but the rest of the headline has to make the loop worth closing. Luna: So the engine is necessary but not sufficient. You still need a concrete promise. Lucas: Right. And the best way to make that promise concrete is with a number or a time frame. 'How I Made $50,000 in 90 Days.' 'Why Your Emails Are Getting Ignored — and the One Fix.' 'What If You Could Retire at 55 with $1 Million?' The numbers make it real. Without them, it's just another 'how to' headline. Luna: I want to test something. If I say 'The Secret to Writing Headlines That Sell,' is that a two-word engine? 'The secret'? Lucas: Absolutely. 'The secret' is one of the oldest. It implies insider knowledge. The reader thinks: 'Everyone else doesn't know this, but I could.' It's flattering. But it works best when the secret is something counterintuitive. 'The Secret to Writing Headlines That Sell' is okay. 'The Secret to Writing Headlines That Sell Without Sounding Salesy' is better because it adds a twist. Luna: I see that a lot in the health space. 'The Secret to Losing Weight Without Exercise.' That's almost irresistible. Lucas: It is. And it works because it promises a shortcut plus a benefit. Now, one last engine I want to mention is 'Why Most.' As in 'Why Most Headlines Fail — and What to Do About It.' That one works by tapping into fear of being wrong. The reader thinks, 'Oh no, am I making that mistake?' And they read on to check. Luna: That's almost manipulative. But fair, because it's true. Lucas: It's only manipulative if the content doesn't deliver. If you actually explain why most headlines fail and give a fix, it's a service. And that's the ethical line in copywriting: the headline has to deliver on its promise. If you open a loop, you have to close it with real value. Luna: So to wrap, if a listener takes one thing from this episode, what should it be? Lucas: Before you finalise any headline, read it and ask: does this create a question in the reader's mind? If the answer is no, rewrite it using one of the two-word engines we discussed. 'How to,' 'Why I,' 'What if,' 'The one,' 'But when,' 'The secret,' 'Why most.' Pick one. Test it. I guarantee you'll see a lift. Luna: And if you do test it, let us know. We'd love to hear what worked. That's the kind of real-world data that makes this podcast useful. Lucas: Alright, that's our show for today. Thanks for listening.