Latest / Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk / The Farron Dozier Show Operation Antifragile and For the Love of Dogs

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The Farron Dozier Show Operation Antifragile and For the Love of Dogs · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

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In welcome are those of the speakers and do not necessarily
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All right, welcome to another episode of the Frondose Show on
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MB Radio. That's right, MB Radio again,
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thank you for tuning, listening in.
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Shouts out to MB Radio for allowing me to be on this
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platform. They are giving veterans a
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voice. I am one of those veterans
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retired. I'm starting first class for Ron
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Dozier. I just here to just share some
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stories, share some life experiences with you.
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I got 2 amazing guests. The power of social media.
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Let me tell you, I literally just found these two gentlemen
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in like a week or so. So and, and, and one guest, as,
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as you may know, I do, my shows are 99% organic and I invited
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Sean here to be a part of the For the Love of Dogs campaign,
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part of the IE Hounds. And we're in the back talking
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before the show. And this guy is a veteran too.
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So here we are, designated inspired veterans show that gets
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to cover 2 of my topics in in this episode today.
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So very grateful for that. Just touch on some things.
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Yesterday I was blessed to receive my proclamation from the
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city of Fontana. And yeah, so how can I say this?
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So I, I shared the, the last six years, my dad passed in 2019.
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And so the last six years I've been in this and I recognized it
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and I was in this kind of space of grief.
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You know, there's so many different levels and layers of
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grief that we all go through and they show up in different times.
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But I, I, I just discovered a few weeks ago in, in my personal
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development education that I'm in.
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And it made sense that the last six years I've been really
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living in this space of like, I'm, I'm doing a lot of stuff,
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but my, my, my heart just wasn't there.
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And so I caught myself doing these talk shows.
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I mean, I've still been doing the last six years, but I found
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myself sometime it was just hard or difficult to communicate with
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people because I don't want to talk because I'm grieving that I
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don't want to talk to anybody and I want to shut down.
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And yet I push past all of that. You know, I acknowledge that,
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but also that got me back into church.
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So as I started looking at these, this, the space that I
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was in, although I was in this grieving space, I did turn to
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God because I was like, I just didn't want to worry about my
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life. Like after my dad passed, I was
3:32
just so concerned about how much time I got left.
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I have my grandson, how, how old am I going to be when he, you
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know, when before I had like, I just didn't want to live that
3:40
life. And so I, I, I went to God and
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like, look, I just got to find you for myself.
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And so I've been on that journey this last six years as well.
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So most recently I discovered that I was living before my dad
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passed. I was living in AB do and have
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that means. I was being this advocate for
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sickle cell trade. I was being this broadcaster.
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I was being for Ron, this whoever for Ron wanted to be
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right now. And then I was doing what
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whatever had I had on and then I was having the results of what I
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wanted to have. But I remember I'm going to tell
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you this, when I was, I was at TV broadcasting school when my
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dad passed and I was on the camera that day.
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And so obviously I could have my cell phone.
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So I put my phone out Afterwards, I look at and I had
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a missed call in a voicemail. I checked that message and it
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was my dad's caregiver. And on the voicemail she was
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crying and just going hollering and just, it's hysterical, just
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like of course crying because she found my dad and I just
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like, OK, let me call. So I called her and she's like,
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yeah, you know, I'm, I'm with your dad and he's unresponsive
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and she's crying and I'm like, OK, let me know.
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You know what happens with all the coroner, whatever y'all do.
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I'm thinking about what I see on TV, right?
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Like they'll, they'll take him to the corner and move his body
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and all that. And so I, but I remember, I
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remember standing in the hallway that day when I hung up the
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phone with her and I said my dad died.
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And I said to myself out loud, I'm done.
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And the moment I said that, I can now look back and see by
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saying that to myself and saying it out loud to myself, I started
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to really believe that I was done.
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But I pushed past it because I was in, I was using my post 911
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GI Bill. So I didn't want to pay that
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money back. So I forced myself to finish
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school. I forced myself to do my shows.
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But I can tell you in the last six years, just most recently, I
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discovered a couple days ago that I was living in a have do
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and be. So the B of the human being
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experience was at the end. So I, I got those pieces out of
5:56
place. I was living at B do and have
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where I'm being the advocate and I'm experiencing it.
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And then I'm doing advocates do and I'm producing the results.
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But the last six years I was having what I wanted and then
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doing it. And then I was going to be the
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advocate at the end. I was going to be the
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broadcaster at the end. But when I, when you, when you
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look at it from that perspective, I got to have it
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first. I got to have the shows and then
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I'll do the show and then I'll be a broadcaster.
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Do you understand that being the broadcaster is at the end of
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that experience? And so there'll be days that I
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don't feel like being a broadcaster or I create 10
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different shows trying to fill the gap and fill the space of
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this void because I don't experience being a broadcaster.
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But what it boiled down to was in my class was it was connected
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to me, me, me being successful as a person.
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So to go through that, we're going to talk about some mental
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health, some mental toughness. We did it.
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You know, the last couple of months was men, mental toughness
6:58
and Wellness. And those conversations don't
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end. But I wanted to share that that
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I so getting that proclamation yesterday reminded me that I'm
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an advocate and I'm going to do what advocates do and I'm going
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to produce the results that I want to produce.
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But to tell you, you got to tell the truth to yourself on what
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results do you want to produce when you're being these and
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doing these things in life, right?
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Because success is not outside of this.
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Success is who we get to be. It's, you know, it's for me,
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it's just different sets of accomplishments, right?
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To be successful and I'm already successful.
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I don't have to prove anything to myself.
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I don't have to do it. I don't have to do anything.
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I don't have to do a show. I don't have to do advocacy
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work. I'm retired.
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I don't have to do anything. However, reframing that back
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from have do be to be do and have, it was like my brain
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clicked back. Like, how did I get that out of
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sequence? And then I remember what I told
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myself. And so for those of us, my
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brothers and sisters out there in arms again, you're serving or
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you serve. That's what you got to do.
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It's not who you are as a person.
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Don't lose yourself. I know I lost myself in that
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camouflage, in that rank, right? And so I'm just sharing with
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you, don't lose yourself. Find what you care about in the
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community. Maybe have a story inside of
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you. Maybe there's something that you
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want to share that you don't think anybody cares about.
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I promise you, I promise you there's somebody that needs to
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hear your story. And that's what brings me in
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front of you today, being this advocate, being this
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broadcaster, doing what I do, having the basketball teams, all
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that stuff. And I realized that I made all
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that up. So again, why do I get
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frustrated with myself about my basketball team?
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Because I don't have to be a owner of a basketball team.
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I don't have to do none of that. I made that up.
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So I how do we do that? How do we lose sight?
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That power of the subconscious mind, I'm telling you, it's
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powerful. And sometimes it just loses
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sight or we allow it to lose sight and take control.
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So I don't have any problems. I don't have any worries.
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I don't have anything. And all the stuff that I worry
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about today, I made it up and I can admit that.
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And that gives me peace to then look at it from not as I'm stuck
9:14
in something, but as something that I want to be up to and I
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want to be up to the basketball. I prayed for a basketball
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ministry. So it's not surprisingly that
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all this stuff is coming to pass.
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And so again, the IE Hounds, we are one of the Co owners now of
9:30
the Inland Empire Hounds. We are in our season coming up
9:34
20252026. I discovered that I was still
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grieving from my dog and my one of my business partners, my Co
9:43
business partners was also grieving from his dog of 17
9:47
years, mine of 14 years. And so we created a campaign
9:49
called for the love of dogs. Our our goal is to reach out to
9:54
breeders all the way through my conversation and his
9:57
conversation of the grief counseling.
9:58
But those of us who have lost or had to put down their pets, some
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of y'all can bounce back and get another dog out.
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I'm not in that space. I'm still not there yet as far
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as wanting to own another dog. So I, this is my contribution
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back to the dog community and to the pet owners.
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And I've met people just in the last few months of this grieving
10:19
and talking about the loss of their dog.
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And I hadn't, I really didn't even think about that.
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That was even a conversation really.
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But so many people have had that experience of either having the
10:28
dog pass away or having to put that dog down.
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And so if you want to be a part of that conversation, it is at
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iehounds.com. You can go there and check that
10:37
out. Other than that, you'll hear
10:40
some PS as about my sickle cell trade awareness.
10:42
But today's episode, I'm just very excited because I have two
10:46
gentlemen again. I knew one was a a veteran, but
10:50
surprisingly my other guest is a veteran as well.
10:52
So we're going to have a conversation about life a
10:56
before, during and after service.
10:58
I could put that in there. This is the front dosier show.
11:01
So let me just make sure that we got I want to do this.
11:06
We're going to do this right quick.
11:07
We'll be right back. Opinions expressed in this
11:08
program are those of the speakers and do not necessarily
11:13
reflect the views or positions of any entities they represent.
11:17
Find us on the web at MB Radio dot US.
11:22
Some of us still carry the burden of battle.
11:25
It threatens to drown us in our everyday lives.
11:29
In battle, we had our weapons and combat gear to keep us safe,
11:32
to keep us confident. But when we returned home, we
11:36
were not armed with weapons and gear to cope with our own minds.
11:40
I was lucky to find my combat gear, my mental weapon and it's
11:44
called Kamago. Kamago is a drug free device
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that allows you to achieve calm in less than 3 minutes and
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moments of anxiety, stress, anger, panic or insomnia.
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Not with medication, but rather by activating the
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parasympathetic nervous system through a breathing regulation
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and multi sensory stimulation. A recent study has shown that
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Comago decreases PTSD and anxiety levels in Veterans,
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helping those who are suffering and having a long lasting
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effect. Visit comago.com to learn how
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you can get Comago through the VA or with a special Veterans
12:19
discount code. Do you remember studying sickle
12:26
cell in biology class? What's the count on?
12:29
Sickle Cell Trait Prevention is here to bring you awareness,
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education and prevention conversations around the risk
12:35
factors of this inherited gene. Visit WDCON sct.org.
12:57
Did you see the game last night? But did you see the shot?
13:03
I lost money from that. Oh man, that shot was old.
13:06
Man, what's the name? You really want to know I do.
13:22
Exhaustion, muscle spasm, Asthmatic issues, unexpected
13:26
sickle cell trait Triton. Are.
13:29
You serious? When I was young I found out I
13:31
had sickle cell trait. My mom's told me but I didn't
13:34
have no knowledge of it. But when I got older I had a
13:36
child. The doctor told me my daughter
13:38
had sickle cell trait. You know, the fact that both
13:40
parents have sickle cell trait. There's a 50% chance the child
13:43
may have the trait and 25% chance the child may have the.
13:47
Disease and that's what's the count.
13:48
Do you know that 2.5 million people in the United States have
13:51
sickle cell trait? 300 million people globally.
13:54
I didn't find out I had sickle cell trait until I was in the
13:56
army 10 years. Next thing you know, I had a
13:58
sickle cell trait. Exertion site, simple cell.
14:01
I thought that was a black gene or something.
14:03
Nah man, the black community is number 21 out of 36,000 babies
14:07
are being born with sickle cell disease.
14:09
It could be Caucasian, Mediterranean, European, You got
14:11
to read your bloodline man. There is an inherited gene in
14:17
our community that has been forgotten.
14:19
The name is sickle cell trait. WDCONSCT, also known as What's
14:24
the Count, is out to bring awareness, education and
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prevention to people all over the globe.
14:30
Want more information? Call us now at 323-215-5384 or
14:36
visit WWW dot WDCON sct.org. All right, again, welcome back
14:53
to the Frondose Show on MB Radio and make sure you check me out
14:57
also on KCAA Radio One O 6.5 FM 10:50 AM on Sunday nights at
15:02
8:00 PM. Yes, we used to have these shows
15:04
combined, but I got to figure out how to get my sound quality
15:08
back in in good sound over there at KC radio.
15:11
So right now we are separate again.
15:14
So take catch me there on Sunday nights at 8:00 PM on the front
15:17
door. They show there.
15:18
And again, if you have more information you want questions
15:20
about sickle cell trait WDCON set.org.
15:25
All right, so with no further ado, let's get this conversation
15:28
started. I'm just like, beyond myself to
15:31
hear these stories. Sean, how are you today?
15:35
No, and I'm great and thank you so much for having me.
15:38
Every day is a blessing for me. Thank you so much for having me
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here. Man, thank you, thank you, thank
15:43
you for accepting my invitation to be a part of what I thought
15:46
was only going to be the For the Love of Dogs segment.
15:49
But here we are that you are also a veteran, so please
15:54
introduce yourself. Yes, so as you know, Sean Morse
16:00
and I love, love, love my dog. And the whole story about that
16:03
I'll tell you real quick. You know, I do want to come back
16:05
to something you were talking about because it's.
16:09
But today I remember meeting my dog.
16:13
I was sitting on the couch and I looked down and she was sitting
16:17
next to me. And I thought, wow, OK, And so
16:21
my wife was over in the kitchen and I said to my wife, I said,
16:24
so who's this? And she said, oh, that's that's
16:29
her dog forever. And I was like, OK.
16:32
And I said, so how old is she? And at that time my wife says
16:37
she's six years old. Oh, OK.
16:40
And I said, well, how long have we had her?
16:42
And she said about six years. And I said, OK, great, great,
16:46
great. So that's How I Met her.
16:52
And that's in essence what started my my new relationship
16:58
with her. I had been there with her pretty
17:03
much the whole time, but in 2019, I had gone to sleep and I
17:12
didn't wake up for a couple of months and my life started all
17:17
over again. That's when I met my family.
17:22
I don't even remember that. Wow.
17:25
But there's just a whole lot more that went on with that.
17:29
There's a whole lot more with having to start all over with
17:32
the memory again, having to learn how to walk and do things
17:37
again twice, not last year or the year before.
17:42
And the Super dog, Every time I came home, she was so happy to
17:47
see me. But then she'd sit down and
17:50
she'd look away. She was kind of mad that I've
17:52
gone away for a month. Anyway, I didn't mean to bore
17:56
you with all of. That no, no, no, Sean, let me
17:59
tell you, man, you know, being back in church, I'm not
18:05
religious. This is my relationship and you
18:09
learn so much about US as people and what we go through, right?
18:14
And we talk about compassion and empathy and we'd like, we talk
18:17
about and a lot of people think that you just do, you do
18:20
compassion, that you do empathy and it'll be there.
18:23
But just when I saw your, your, your Facebook page and even the
18:28
title of it, like we, we all deal with some of the Bible cosm
18:34
afflictions. We all gonna we all deal with
18:36
something right and to hear your story to hear you share even
18:40
before we got live on the show man, I can't even imagine like
18:45
what that feels like to have to to go through what you go
18:49
through on a daily basis, right. And so how, how, how do you feel
18:56
knowing that this is, you know where you are today with this?
19:01
You know, I'm thankful. I'm thankful.
19:04
One of the things that I often tell people to do because I
19:08
don't care what's going on in your world.
19:10
I don't care. I know everybody's got to get up
19:12
and go to work. I get that.
19:15
I get that people have things to do.
19:17
I always tell them stop. I don't.
19:20
I don't care what it is. Stop.
19:22
Take 30 minutes. Stop.
19:25
Just take some time, grab the ones that you love and just
19:29
spend a few minutes with them. Talk to them, listen to them,
19:34
because apparently I didn't do that.
19:39
Who, you know, if you have a younger one, they might want to
19:41
grab some crayons and go, right? Better be on some crayons, but
19:46
you know, right? So stop and do that.
19:49
So right. Man, like I said, I'm, I'm, I'm
19:54
almost holding back my tears because just the relatedness
19:59
again, I don't understand what you're going through, but from
20:03
what I dealt with and what you're sharing with how you are,
20:07
that's that space that I want people to relate to, to connect
20:11
to us as people first. Oh, yeah.
20:14
You know, you, you were talking a little bit ago when, when you
20:18
were opening up and you know, forgive me because of how this
20:24
thing likes to work, but you were talking about you, you
20:28
know, how people are going through things and you are going
20:35
through stages, right. And.
20:38
Last. Six years, right?
20:41
And one of the things that it took me time to figure out is
20:45
where I was in my transition. You know, the first two years I
20:49
had to throw away, I was still learning, you know, I was still
20:53
wearing my Velcro shoes, which don't get me wrong, that's a
20:57
great place to be. You know, I had to learn how to
21:01
walk. There's a whole lot of things.
21:04
But when I learned how to tie shoes, huge thing, huge thing.
21:10
But you know, when you you know, you go through this whole grief
21:15
period and you have to make a decision, are you going to sit
21:21
there and be upset and wonder why and not understand, you
21:27
know, I think you lost some some folks in your family that were
21:31
super important to you that matter, you see.
21:35
Dad and my grandpa. Dad and my grandpa back-to-back
21:39
years. Huge influences on you, right?
21:42
Definitely big impacts and you had a lot going on in your life,
21:48
big deals. So while you were acting like,
21:51
you know, getting up every day, going, going, going.
21:54
I'm sure don't get me wrong, I fall down a number of times a
21:58
week, get up and I get going. Still got to get up.
22:03
There's a, there's a lot going on, but you may not know at the
22:07
end of the day where it's going on.
22:09
I would get up and I would go in and I go in.
22:12
I'd go to the stroke group meetings.
22:13
I would go to see people. And I was frustrated.
22:17
I was trying to figure out what what had gone wrong and and
22:21
happened I I was so mad. And then one day I said, OK,
22:28
I've got a choice. I can either continue to be this
22:31
way. Yeah, or I can move forward.
22:35
And something kicked on with me. Something happened.
22:38
You. I made that decision.
22:41
Some people don't. Yes.
22:44
Yeah. And you know, when they, I've
22:47
been asked, well, are you going to say something to this
22:51
individual to help them when they come into these meetings?
22:55
I can tell them about me. I can't.
22:59
I can tell them here's my choice on certain things, but I'm not
23:03
that one that makes that decision.
23:05
They are, yeah. And, and, and I felt like if I
23:10
would have quit and walked away from everything, nobody would
23:13
have been surprised. Like I played that in my head.
23:16
Like, oh, well, his dad died. Well, of course he shut of
23:18
course, because people do that. But I'm like, no, I like, I, I
23:22
got stuff. I got to finish school.
23:24
I'm an advocate. Like there's things that I'm
23:25
doing. I got shows, but I, I, I, I push
23:28
past it. But as you, as you, as we, as we
23:31
said, there was still something going on.
23:35
Trying to suppress those feelings and emotions and all
23:38
that stuff is like, this was just, it was wild thing to to
23:42
discover my framing was all it was, is how I framed it.
23:48
And my mind is like, you got to be kidding me.
23:50
All I could do was laugh six years later, like you got to be
23:53
kidding me. That's what that was.
23:56
Yeah, you know. But.
23:58
Thank you. Yeah, Now coming back to the dog
24:01
real quick. Yeah, go.
24:03
So I'll. Tell you what, She didn't.
24:05
She didn't really care how, you know, she didn't care that I
24:10
couldn't solve the Rubik's Cube, that that would never matter.
24:15
And she didn't care that, you know, I was wearing my Velcro
24:18
shoes for a reason, because I couldn't tie them.
24:21
Right. Right.
24:22
He did wish that I had a treat with me that was not, you know,
24:28
she was going to love me anyway regardless.
24:31
And if I couldn't spell her name, she didn't care.
24:34
I was still, you know, I was still there and she was going to
24:37
do everything she could. And that's one of the things
24:39
that I love about her. And there are a lot of
24:42
organizations out there that, you know, you, you love to do
24:49
things to get involved with organizations.
24:52
And I think that's incredible that you do.
24:54
Yeah. Thank you.
24:55
Before we bring Matt up, I want to ask you, of course, I mean
25:01
you, you. It was a stroke that you had.
25:05
How does the dog help you? What I So what is what is What
25:10
is her role in your life as well?
25:12
Well, I'm going to share this with you.
25:15
Yeah, the stroke. The stroke really hit me hard
25:17
and did that, but because of it I became epileptic.
25:20
Now a lot of dogs help strokes of Irish they do because they
25:26
are one side impacted or the other and whatever.
25:30
That's a big deal. What my dog did that was
25:34
significant for me is somehow I say somehow it's it's different
25:40
because I became epileptic. She knew when I was going to
25:44
have seizures. On the days that the seizures
25:48
were coming, she would come and sit on me or come and touch me.
25:53
And what would happen with my meds is they would up my meds to
25:58
kind of stop the seizures. And so that would last for about
26:03
a month. And then they would start coming
26:06
back. And she knew she, I, I couldn't,
26:11
I didn't know that they were going to come right, right,
26:14
right. You know, But it got to the
26:17
point where she would just come and lay on me on days that were
26:22
really, really bad. And when I had to go in, I had,
26:29
when they tested me, they took the, the meds off of me.
26:32
I had something like 84 seizures in one day.
26:37
Now I'm going to tell you something else real quick and
26:40
I'll, I'll do this. When I had, when they had done
26:44
all of this and I'd spent 2 1/2 months in the learning how to
26:47
walk and talk and all that again, they didn't want to teach
26:50
me to talk, but they did. She blew out her knees and we
26:58
went to the vet when she blew up.
27:00
What? Yeah, I was home.
27:04
I was healing and doing well. I was doing great.
27:07
The seizures were. And we're walking around and
27:10
there goes one knee and I went, no, no.
27:15
And so then we go to the vet and the vets like here's the
27:20
situation and we're here's like, you know, somewhere between 5:00
27:27
and 10:00 grand to get this done.
27:29
And I'm like and and I don't care about them, all right.
27:34
Yeah. I'm not going to, honestly.
27:37
This is my loved one daughter's dog.
27:40
Wow, this is a family dog. Yeah.
27:44
My daughter's dog. That's right.
27:46
That's right. So let my.
27:50
Daughter try to make. This decision anyway, wow,
27:55
that's how much money it was. And so we take her home and the
28:00
vets like you can see how it feels, you can do this.
28:03
So we do and well, it starts to get better, but not really.
28:06
And then the other one went. Oh my goodness.
28:09
Yeah. And because that one went, this
28:11
one went again. So then we were back at the vets
28:13
and I'm looking at my daughter. I'm looking at my daughter and I
28:20
just looked at the vet and I said when are we getting it
28:23
done? Just let's get.
28:25
Let's get it done. Oh my goodness, Sean.
28:28
Oh my goodness. And she dances better than I do,
28:33
by the way. Ladies and gentlemen, this is
28:37
Sean Boyce on the Ferrando's Day show.
28:40
Oh my gosh, for the love of dogs.
28:42
Ladies and gentlemen, this is our campaign, as you can see.
28:44
Why this is so important because when I chose to have that
28:48
campaign, I know we talk about dog breeders and again, for me,
28:52
the grief counseling, but there are service dogs.
28:55
There are dogs that help people with their health.
28:58
And Sean is a prime example of why the For the love of Dog
29:02
campaign is for me is important. We all have different aspects of
29:05
why we own pets and have our dogs and cats.
29:09
Sean, man, thank you so much, man.
29:10
I'm going to bring up Matt and and then we'll bring you right
29:13
back up again. OK, Thank you for your time,
29:16
man. I appreciate you.
29:19
All right, this is the front door that show on Ki thought to
29:21
say KC radio. I'm this is MB radio today it's
29:24
Wednesday, ladies and gentlemen, again, thanks for tuning
29:28
listening in. I'm going to play a couple of
29:31
PSA's and come back and bring up our next guest right here on the
29:35
Frondose show on MB Radio. Make sure you go to MB Radio dot
29:38
US. We got an app too.
29:40
So you can either listen to us from the website or download the
29:43
app. If you are Apple or Android.
29:45
It's compatible with all. And check out the other first
29:48
responders and other my brothers and sisters in arms who are here
29:51
on this platform doing what I'm doing here in my own version of
29:55
sharing their story, reaching out to other veterans, just
29:58
doing what they can to find their voice as MBR has allowed
30:02
us to be a part of this network here.
30:03
Thank you, We'll be right back. This is Ferron from the Ferron
30:06
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30:12
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more. And for Rondo Zier show.
31:42
All right, welcome back to another episode of the Frondose
31:44
Show. Again, thanks for tuning.
31:46
Listening in today again for me is just exciting because of
31:50
these two gentlemen that are here.
31:51
Oh, wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
31:53
wait. Look at there.
31:57
Look at there, ladies and gentlemen, look at there.
31:59
Come on, come on. How you doing, Matt?
32:04
Good. How are you?
32:05
Man, thank you. There's there.
32:09
Wow. All right, so I'm going to bring
32:11
you back. I'm going to bring you back in a
32:12
second. All right, All right, Matt, man,
32:16
thank you for accepting my invitation to be on the show
32:19
today and and share who you are and what you're up to.
32:22
So please introduce yourself. Yeah, My name is Matt Spade.
32:26
I'm the founder and head coach of Operation Anti Fragile.
32:29
Recently started this nonprofit. I'm a Marine Corps veteran.
32:33
I was with third time 4th Marines fought in both Iraq and
32:36
Afghanistan guy out in 2010. Then I eventually did a few, you
32:41
know, crazy find your way things and eventually found my way into
32:45
the fire service. I think I, it was like 2013, I
32:49
think when I started firefighting and I quit last
32:54
year to start this. It was something that I knew was
32:58
one thing I'm just passionate about and something I was kind
33:00
of already doing as a, I'm also a strength coach on the side and
33:06
I just saw this as a need. So trying to fill in the gap in
33:09
healthcare essentially for veterans and 1st responders is
33:12
the main mission of Operation Anti Fragile.
33:15
Again, thank you for that. Let's go back in time a little
33:17
bit. Who was Matt growing up man as a
33:21
child, as a. Good question.
33:22
I got, I got a lot of rabbit holes to go down too.
33:25
But I, I had a, you know, as a child.
33:28
I mean, I was born in Houston. I moved back and forth between
33:31
Texas and Oklahoma. My dad was a geologist.
33:34
So it's kind of, I don't know. I think it's funny because my
33:38
parents are East Coast. I don't have a Texan accent.
33:40
I don't really have an Oklahoman accent.
33:42
But you guys in the Marines thought I was from California.
33:44
So, yeah, but you know, I, I had a, a pretty good childhood.
33:49
I did deal with some childhood trauma early on that now I know
33:53
is kind of like the start of a lot of things and kind of for a
33:57
lot of people, but especially veterans and 1st responders too.
34:03
And but yeah, so with that, I, I learned to kind of be resilient
34:08
early on. I had to kind of put a a stop to
34:12
what was happening myself. And I think that was again, kind
34:16
of the start of this sort of just anti fragile mindset of
34:21
being like stronger when there's stress and eventually just being
34:24
like, Nope, not going to take it anymore.
34:25
I'm going to get stronger. And so that's kind of me as a
34:29
child, I guess history you want me to go into.
34:33
No, I, I, I, you know, I appreciate that.
34:36
Like you said, even for myself, after I was at my depression,
34:40
anxiety, suicide ideation, trying to figure out that what's
34:43
next, right? And, and the education that I
34:45
took, I, I got my life back, right.
34:48
I found the what's next, but I also had to go back.
34:52
I had opportunity to go back and heal a lot of the childhood.
34:56
I was an emotional child. So I had a lot of emotional
34:59
episodes that I could remember that.
35:02
But no wonder I act the way that I acted, right?
35:04
Because of the emotional state that I was in listening to my
35:06
subconscious mind like it was me.
35:09
I can articulate that today. But like you said, a lot of that
35:11
stuff did happen, you know, when I joined the military, just
35:14
exasperated. It was like, oh, I don't have to
35:16
worry about 'cause there was one conversation we had that they
35:19
said, don't worry about where your wife or your girlfriend is
35:22
at because you can get your whole squad killed daydreaming
35:25
about where, you know, your loved ones and all that.
35:28
And so I took that at 19. I took that to heart, Like, OK,
35:31
but I was already emotionally shut down.
35:33
So that was just like, oh, that was like in the freezer.
35:36
Like, oh, I could turn that off like that.
35:38
Oh, cool. But I didn't realize that, you
35:40
know, going through my career and then afterwards that that
35:44
was something I had to deal with because of my emotional state.
35:47
So I appreciate you for saying that there's a lot of things
35:49
that we do deal with and we're praying and working with the VA
35:53
and hopefully they take those conversations into
35:55
consideration, right, of of how our life was before and during
35:59
our service and even afterwards. So I really appreciate you for
36:02
saying I don't think anybody really escapes those episodes of
36:06
those versions of those like we all experience some something,
36:10
right? But how do we figure it out and
36:12
start to heal those those ways in those past?
36:15
So I really appreciate you for for saying that.
36:18
Out of all the branches to serve in what brought what was going
36:24
on with the Marines? Yeah.
36:26
Oh, they're the best, so. Oh my.
36:28
God let me. Turn this.
36:31
Yeah, that that pretty much. I mean, I, I don't know.
36:33
I'd always had a, a goal of kind of joining the military and it's
36:35
actually kind of weird I, I only needed one credit to graduate my
36:39
senior year. I was doing this kind of OU
36:42
homeschool program. I was working 2 jobs and I
36:47
actually looked up information on the Marine Corps.
36:50
And the next day a recruiter at my different job, it was at an
36:55
Orange Julius at the mall. He walked by and he's like, hey,
36:57
ever think about joining the Marine Corps?
36:59
And I was like, I just put in the interest thing yesterday,
37:02
you know. But yeah, I don't know.
37:04
I, I wanted to help in the, in the war as well.
37:08
It was something that I just, I don't know.
37:11
I remember, I still remember seeing the newspaper one time
37:15
and it was when a lot of stuff was going on with Fallujah.
37:18
I think it was probably Operation Phantom Fury going on.
37:20
I was just like, I want to go help.
37:23
I signed up the day after 18 and, yeah, never really looked
37:28
back. Really glad that I made the
37:31
decision. Yeah, you know what?
37:32
I'm dealing with a lot of issues from that.
37:34
But that's, again, kind of why what I'm trying to do isn't just
37:38
a reactive program, it's a proactive.
37:41
You start doing these things, strength and conditioning, this
37:44
mobility work, breath work, all this stuff, you're going to be
37:49
more set up for success when that stress or trauma happens.
37:52
Right, got it. Got to have those tools.
37:55
Yes, exactly. I want, I want to touch before
37:58
we before we move forward is the transition from that civilian to
38:04
the Marine and the, and the putting your feet on the yellow
38:09
footprints and what was that experience like for you?
38:13
Yeah, I I mean, I remember boot camp really well.
38:15
I had an all gunny team and you know, boot camps, boot camp is
38:20
mainly a, a mental thing and you know, finished boot camp, went
38:25
to SOYI was actually originally going to go Recon and it was
38:29
when like the they were BRC got really backed up the basic Recon
38:35
course. And I was in the Recon training
38:37
platoon for like 6 months when you're only supposed to be there
38:40
for, I don't know, a short amount of time and eventually
38:44
had to get surgery and stuff. And I ended up going to the
38:46
grunts third baton 4th Marines. And I'm very grateful that I did
38:50
3-4 was one of the most combat deployed units.
38:53
So I had a lot of good seniors and, you know, went to Iraq.
38:58
I was in kind of the AL Anbar province, sort of bounced around
39:02
a little bit. We were in like Hit and Haditha
39:06
and the war was kind of winding down.
39:07
It was more of a hearts and minds mission then.
39:10
But then Afghanistan, it was ramping up.
39:13
I was in Nausad, Afghanistan at the time.
39:16
It was one of the hottest AOS or areas of operation and just
39:21
riddled with IEDs pretty much. So that was like our biggest
39:24
threat. And I mean, probably my squad,
39:27
I'm not trying to say like my squad found a bunch of them.
39:29
Like everyone found a bunch of them.
39:31
Probably found about 20 or I don't know what.
39:34
It was a lot. And with that, you know, we, we,
39:40
we did an offensive operation Cobra's anger kind of kicked the
39:44
Taliban out. Try to set up some ground.
39:47
And then, you know, the deployment was over and then I
39:51
got out pretty quickly too. I was telling you earlier that
39:54
it was kind of an admin error. I was, I was in Afghanistan and
39:58
then I was a civilian in about a month, maybe a little bit less
40:01
than that because my contract wasn't extended.
40:04
I was in a school. So had that.
40:07
And I love like you were talking about earlier about not losing
40:10
yourself. And, and that's what happens a
40:13
lot when these guys get out. When I got out, you know, it's
40:17
like you're not a Marine anymore.
40:19
And literally the day I got out, I'm driving back to Oklahoma
40:22
City from California and my leg randomly swole up huge.
40:28
I don't know if I had a blood clot or what was going on, but
40:31
it it hurt. I went to my first experience
40:33
with the VA when we got there was July 4th and I was, I don't
40:39
know how long I was in that waiting room.
40:40
There's only like 1 other guy and it was just my first
40:43
experience and then before they even came to tell me what was
40:46
wrong the doctor was leaving and everything and I was in the way.
40:48
You were like, hello, like and and oh, we don't know what's
40:52
wrong. So.
40:53
I still don't know to this day what happened, but that was kind
40:55
of my hey, welcome to civilian life.
40:59
And but I made my way. I I started roughnecking for a
41:03
bit, which was a really good job just to transition out of.
41:07
I always had something in my hand.
41:09
You know, I miss my rifle. I'm a.
41:10
Marine and it was like. I would still, I, I don't know
41:14
if it happens to you or not, but it's like I would, I still
41:17
sometimes I'm like, oh, where's my rifle?
41:18
Again. Oh, her name was Betsy.
41:20
Her name was Betsy. You know, and, and so it was
41:23
good, you know, I had a big sledgehammer, big pipe wrench,
41:25
you know, and it was outside working hard.
41:28
I, I liked it. It was a tough job, but you
41:32
know, I. Want did it allow you?
41:33
Did it allow you to release some of that?
41:36
I think so. There's a lot of sledgehammer.
41:40
Yeah, slinging those tongs on there.
41:42
I know how familiar you are with the oil field and, and
41:44
roughnecking, but it's, it's a, it's a tough job and you get to
41:47
do a lot of take out a lot of aggression.
41:50
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking like.
41:52
So it was. Good transmission.
41:54
Yeah, but I, I miss being a service.
41:57
So I, I was looking into the fire service, but I bought a
42:02
house and then so then I had a mortgage and I was like, I don't
42:04
know about the GI Bill. I don't, you know, and I had a
42:06
family or just my wife. We didn't have kids at the time
42:08
yet, which I forgot to mention that my wife's been with me like
42:12
since the Marine Corps. So we've been married for 18
42:15
years. I think now she, she confused me
42:17
because she was playing our 20 years.
42:19
It's like it's not coming up yet.
42:20
So but we've been together for a long time.
42:24
She's a very strong wife, very supportive.
42:27
But yeah, so I, I, I left roughnecking and I, I started a
42:31
contracting. A bunch of my buddies were doing
42:34
it. I just, I, I completed the
42:36
training and I was supposed to go to Iraq, but it was when the
42:40
Army had just pulled out of Iraq.
42:43
So everyone was on a retainer. Like the guys that were there
42:45
were stuck in Iraq. I was stuck in the States, but
42:49
it was a great time to really discover myself.
42:53
That's really when just how you talked about how you were able
42:55
to like go back and really like think about all the things that
42:59
happened to you and really find that healing.
43:01
That's what I found. I was able to get like private
43:03
counseling. I started going to a CrossFit
43:07
gym and I found like a good community and stuff.
43:10
You know, CrossFit, you know there, there's good things,
43:13
there's bad things. But.
43:14
I'll definitely give it the we're.
43:16
Going to talk about that before you go too.
43:18
Yeah, it, you know, it has the good community aspect and it
43:22
puts barbells in a whole lot of people's hands, you know, a
43:25
whole lot of people. And, and yeah, so I started
43:29
eventually coaching and going to school for firefighting, and I
43:33
eventually became a firefighter in Oklahoma.
43:36
What was that? What was that like?
43:37
Like just I'm going to be a firefighter.
43:40
Yeah, so it's, it's hard to get into fire service, at least
43:43
that's what I'm saying. For some, some people it's very
43:46
easy. It's it's like a lot of other
43:47
things, politics, you know, and everything.
43:51
But I eventually got hired by a small combination department and
43:57
I, I loved it. I, I couldn't have been happier.
43:58
I my starting pay was only 950 an hour, so it was not a whole
44:03
lot, but I was like like. $90,000 or something that's.
44:07
Worth. Worth yeah.
44:10
And that's why I sometimes people will think firefighters
44:13
make all this money and some of them do.
44:15
You know, there's some departments that do pay really
44:17
well and but this one did not in particular.
44:20
But, you know, so I was coaching, I was doing other
44:23
little side jobs as well. And it was kind of weird because
44:26
it was combination and I worked admin hours.
44:29
So it was like 7:00 to 4:00 Monday through Friday.
44:32
I would sometimes coach before my shift, sometimes after,
44:35
usually after. So my days were extremely long,
44:40
you know, and we would. And that's when I I really
44:44
started to discover that firefighters were dealing with a
44:48
lot of the same issues that veterans were.
44:51
Right. We we forget about law
44:53
enforcement, we forget about I talk about law enforcement,
44:55
firefighters, the the suicide rate in law enforcement is just
44:59
as close. As it's.
45:00
Huge. Our veteran community.
45:02
Huge. Man, on law enforcement, I
45:03
talked about. Yeah.
45:05
And, and the bad thing about those statistics, too, is that's
45:07
just what's recorded, you know, and that's why it's it's there's
45:11
even more. And so it, the problem is really
45:14
much worse than what we already think it is.
45:18
And the problem is also that guys are kind of afraid to talk
45:21
about it. A lot of guys that I worked with
45:24
in the fire service would come to me more individually because
45:27
they're like, oh, you're a combat veteran, You know, Marine
45:29
Corps. I I didn't fight in combat, but
45:31
it's like, I always be like, dude, like we see a lot of bad
45:35
stuff in the yeah, there's all kinds of trauma and anything.
45:40
I almost think it's worse, you know, because it, it, I don't
45:44
know. It's not worse, you know there's
45:45
not. Worse, but you're looking at
45:47
you're you're right there with the body like you're right there
45:50
with. People and then you have to come
45:53
home and be dad and. Be husband.
45:56
And do all these things and, and it's like, what if, you know, I
46:00
could have just and I, I basically had this experience.
46:02
I ran a call, we had a, a very bad wreck involving one of our
46:07
police officers. That's also when it's another
46:10
first responder and, and you know, friends with him, you know
46:14
it. It's a lot different when you're
46:15
cutting someone out of a car when you know them than if it's
46:19
a stranger. So it was a very difficult and
46:23
complex extrication. He was basically hit by a
46:26
garbage truck on the highway. T Boned went into a ditch and
46:30
they basically became one. And his legs were mangled in the
46:33
dash. Essentially.
46:35
It was all raining, muddy. It was just like, you know, and
46:38
it's just me and a rookie firefighter at the time.
46:41
Thankfully, he had like some medical experience.
46:44
A lot of police officers ended up on scene.
46:46
But there are some problems with that department, and I'll kind
46:50
of leave it at that. That yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
46:52
fine. We.
46:53
Yeah, we. Didn't get the backup we were
46:54
supposed to and but we got him out.
46:59
But it was still very traumatic for me.
47:01
And it also because this police officer in particular, he
47:03
actually looked and sounded a lot like one of my old squad
47:06
leaders. And I remember saying that to a
47:08
lot of the guys I I worked with. And it was like, as soon as
47:11
they'd be like, wow, like he does.
47:13
And so I think that maybe messed with me a little bit too.
47:16
But either way, you know, right after that extrication, you
47:21
know, we didn't know if he was going to live or die.
47:23
We loaded him up on the bird and then it's back to work.
47:26
I, I'm pretty sure we ran a cardiac arrest that same shift
47:29
and some more stuff. And then I got off at 4:00 and
47:32
then to the gym to coach. And I'm.
47:35
Trying to coach and I'm just like, you know, And it was a big
47:41
gym. It was in like midtown Oklahoma
47:42
City. It was when CrossFit was really
47:45
kind of booming. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:48
But yeah, I remember trying to get people to warm up on the
47:50
rower. And my good friend Brandon, he's
47:54
I think he's a Lieutenant Colonel now, but he's close to
47:58
retirement. He was, he was another coach and
48:01
he was also working at the health department at the time.
48:04
So he under kind of understood the EMS world and everything
48:07
too. And I was like, hey, man, like I
48:10
need, I need to go home. Like something's wrong with me.
48:13
And that was kind of the spark of like, just when I first got
48:19
out of Afghanistan, I had some issues.
48:21
You know, I dealt with them early on and I got better.
48:23
And then it was kind of starting up again this this kind of, you
48:27
know, cut the wound open again. And some more stuff went on.
48:33
I was trying to fix that fire department in a way.
48:36
Like there was a female firefighter that was getting
48:38
sexually harassed. Again, just lots of problems.
48:41
I don't really want to go into all of that.
48:43
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no.
48:43
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't we.
48:45
Don't have to, but we brought it up trying to fix it and the city
48:48
manager fired us and it was a whole wrongful termination
48:52
thing. And but with that, I, I tried to
48:56
drive home from there and I, you know, it was a route I'd driven
48:59
a billion times and I couldn't figure out how to get home.
49:02
And my son, he had just been born pretty much.
49:06
He was a few months old. So that was a whole other
49:09
stressor. My wife and I've been waiting to
49:10
have kids and then bam, this happened and just stressed of
49:14
having a young baby. You know, she'd asked me to go
49:16
get some milk and I'd be wandering off doing whatever
49:19
weird operator syndrome kind of stuff and eventually went to the
49:23
VA and that was a whole, this is a whole other rabbit hole I
49:28
could go down did not get the help that I was supposed to.
49:32
I was I, I have trauma from being in the hospital.
49:35
I have repressed memories thankfully.
49:38
We feel like there was a nurse in there that was like an Angel
49:42
came and found my family and said that they could see what
49:46
they were doing to me in there and they needed to Get Me Out
49:49
like ASAP. They were trying to have me
49:52
committed. They were doing all kinds of
49:54
stupid games with me and and again lots of trauma from that.
49:58
But I got out and thankfully I was able to find a camp.
50:03
Hope my family heard about it. I went there, I was able to get
50:06
off the psych meds they put me on and be in a safe space among
50:09
like other veterans. But I almost left there because
50:13
at the time I was dealing with firefighter stuff and I was
50:15
like, look, I need to talk to a firefighter.
50:17
Like he's like. I'm talking about pump pressure
50:20
stuff and everything and friction loss.
50:22
And you know, they didn't quite get it, but I was able to stay
50:26
with the guy. He was with HFD Houston Fire
50:30
Department brought me into his home.
50:32
Super great guy. I mean, that's that's so much of
50:36
what saved me was that again, that peer support, you know,
50:39
getting to talk to each other, understand like I've been there
50:42
to share that experience. And then I started coaching
50:48
again in Houston and I started volunteer firefighting because
50:52
we weren't sure if I was going to be able to continue to do the
50:54
job. I'd hear a siren and I'd go into
50:57
autopilot essentially. And sometimes it'd be kind of
51:00
like a marine mode. Sometimes it'd be more
51:02
firefighter, sometimes it'd be more contractor.
51:06
So it wasn't good, but I, I had a good, you know, I because I do
51:10
a lot of meditation and stuff. I could really feel when it was
51:13
going on and still kind of be aware.
51:15
But right, right, Let. Me ask, let me ask you this
51:19
because you, you touched on on, on a couple of spots that as I'm
51:23
listening to you and, and and relating to you at the same time
51:28
that identity, man, that identity.
51:30
I know for me, like I said, for me, I think, and not just me,
51:35
but as men, I noticed we deal with some type of identity,
51:39
whether you're an athlete who played sports from child to
51:43
adult age or a firefighter. Those like those identities, but
51:47
they happen early too though. Yeah.
51:50
Right. And so you, you've said so much.
51:54
Do you realize that this could be the what you were looking,
51:57
looking back, wasn't I the identity changing from the
52:03
warrior to the Yeah. Oh.
52:05
Yeah, because it's like I exactly, I was, you know,
52:09
especially at war, how you're talking about how you have to
52:11
put your family to the side because if you're distracted,
52:14
you guys might die. I I'm very proud of the fact
52:17
that I I brought my guys back. I was, I was very worried about
52:20
that going into now Zad, but brought them all back.
52:24
And then, yeah, you have to switch that mindset of just like
52:28
you're not at war anymore. And especially when you have
52:31
kids now too, it's like they're not Marines, they're not your
52:35
firefighters. That's what towards the end, I
52:37
started finding myself kind of, you know, my son is older now.
52:39
Now, now he's 10, but, you know, don't treat him like a rookie.
52:45
You know, he's your son, you know, and some guys, especially
52:49
when they get out of the fire service or police or or
52:51
military, that, that it's hard to find.
52:53
And that was so much of their identity when they leave.
52:57
And that's why it was very difficult when I was wrongfully
52:59
terminated, for one thing, because it was like, I've been
53:01
doing a ton of good stuff for that department too.
53:05
And it was just all of a sudden kind of when it's taken from you
53:08
kind of thing, it, it feels weird.
53:10
But you know, you have to realize I remember trying to get
53:13
in the fire service again so bad so fast.
53:16
And someone around me like, hey, like take care of your family.
53:19
And it's like you're a dad 1st. And, and that's what you need to
53:23
remember when you're in the job, too.
53:25
Exactly, exactly. No man, Again, you've you've set
53:29
so much key points about just us, but I want people to realize
53:33
that it's not just us as veterans, right?
53:37
These these are human beings conditions right And and what I
53:41
learned from myself is the way that we label each other and we
53:45
object like for you can Sean can relate.
53:50
It's it's the fact that the military took our 19 my 19 year
53:58
old brain, right and which the brain is malleable.
54:02
So it took my 19 year old brain and, and trained us to objectify
54:08
another human being from a human being to a terrorist.
54:11
And then you kill terrorists. But then one day your mind's
54:16
going to remember, oh, shoot, like, but that's not just us.
54:23
That's police officers. You know, we say in the
54:25
community that I'm, I'm labeled as a suspect before I'm a
54:28
person. But the community does the same
54:31
thing to the Police Department. You're a police officer.
54:33
We objectify one another so much to the point where look at how
54:37
our society is today. Like we label each other and it
54:41
disconnects us from that human connection first, which is what
54:46
us as veterans try to get back to, you know, even back to the
54:51
points where we were broken before the service, at least
54:53
want to get back to something that's familiar and comfortable,
54:56
even though it's chaos in our mind.
54:59
So I really appreciate, you know, what you said there, man.
55:02
And it's it's so important for people to just kind of hear us
55:07
And and it's AI don't understand for Ron.
55:10
So I don't expect anybody else to understand me.
55:12
But if you could relate to me, relate to me as a person, we
55:16
could have a whole lot of other conversations that could be
55:19
effective and even support one another.
55:22
Sean, you, you hear anything while we were while you were
55:24
down there, man, do you anything you want to say?
55:26
No, I heard too much and hey, I think you guys are great because
55:32
I was actually sucked into the whole conversation.
55:35
I'm just sitting here, OK, I need to get a cup of coffee.
55:40
Used to keep talking for a while.
55:42
You know, I have a whole crowd and I'd like to book you for
55:46
next Thursday. But you know, a lot of it also
55:52
speaks to PTSD and quite a bit that research is bringing to the
55:58
table that we saw coming out of. And I hate to say this pandemic
56:03
and research and stuff created there and unfortunately that
56:09
time frame, but the reality of what we've learned since then
56:15
and we keep learning now is, is amazing to me, the impacts of
56:21
it, but really what we keep finding and learning about it.
56:25
It sounds like you're on. Top of that quite a bit.
56:30
Yeah, it's, it's, it's such and I, I can only, you know,
56:35
articulate this because I had to go back and I'm, I'm 15 years in
56:39
trying to stay alive, right. And so I'm talking about peeling
56:42
off layers and layers and layers and even discovering most
56:46
recently a decision I made about my mom at 2 years old.
56:49
Like how does a 2 year old before really having language
56:53
make a decision that he's disappointed in his mother at 2
56:57
years old? Like who, how powerful that
57:01
brain is. Like we, we really need to
57:04
understand how powerful that subconscious mind is.
57:08
And as a military, it teaches us how to turn it on, but not to
57:11
turn it off. And so we spend time years
57:15
trying to figure out how to turn it off.
57:16
I even tried to take that identity away.
57:20
Like, you know what, I don't even want to carry that identity
57:22
at all as a, as a, as a veteran. But then I couldn't 'cause it's
57:27
like it's ingrained in my brain. It's like all of that.
57:30
So it's like I can't run from it.
57:31
So then I had to go back and, and just accept that life and,
57:36
and, and use those qualities, those experiences of what I went
57:40
through, what I've been through, what I learned and apply that to
57:44
my life today. That helps me move these
57:47
conversations that I'm up to or man so.
57:51
And how do you explain this to somebody who hasn't had that
57:54
experience? You know, for me, it's not about
57:59
explaining it, it's about listening, right?
58:02
We, we say that we're, we're, we're good listeners, but a lot
58:05
of times we listen to react. So if, if because I'm, I'm, I'm
58:09
OK with my life and, and I, and I own my behavior, I can set
58:13
myself aside and just listen to another person.
58:16
And if you listen to how a person describes their life,
58:22
because we don't, we don't really say what's what's.
58:24
So because I don't want you to judge me.
58:26
I don't want to, you might slander my name, you might
58:29
slander all of my tell my secrets.
58:31
So we're already guarded as people with those defense
58:34
mechanisms. So I'm going to I'm going to
58:35
describe it. Oh, I'm struggling.
58:37
Oh, I'm struggling too. OK, then nobody gets any help
58:39
because we're both struggling and we just walk away.
58:42
But no one's saying, hey, I got financial issues, I got
58:44
relationship because we don't, unless you build that, I'm not
58:49
even using trust anymore because we're not supposed to put trust
58:52
in people, only in the Lord. So I have confidence in another
58:55
person, right, That I could connect with you.
58:58
But even with confidence, I learned I'm not 100% confident
59:01
either. So then I can't expect you to
59:04
give me all of your confidence, but I don't have all of mine.
59:06
So understanding that has allowed me to communicate,
59:10
right? And you listen you, you become a
59:13
good listener and how people describe and share their life.
59:17
So Matt, how did you, you know you did you?
59:19
Obviously you help lots of people even for yourself
59:23
answering that question for you. How do you how do you maintain
59:25
that or listen? Well, just like you said that
59:30
like the listening part is huge. Just like you said, so many
59:33
people when they're listening, they're just more thinking about
59:35
what they're going to say after and they're not really
59:37
listening. And so that and again, and
59:40
sometimes people do that like, I love how you were sorry, I'm
59:44
trying to remember exactly what it was, but just about how do
59:49
you explain it just to people that haven't experienced this
59:51
stuff? That that's right, that's what
59:52
he said. And, and just there's a science
59:56
behind it too. It's your nervous system is so
59:58
much of it. And that's what I usually try to
1:00:00
explain to people about how so like it in combat, you know, if
1:00:05
you're going outside the wire, then BAM, that sympathetic
1:00:08
nervous systems kicked on. You're you're ready to go and
1:00:12
then you get back in the wire and.
1:00:14
You know who? OK, calm down.
1:00:15
But you're still not really in that rest.
1:00:19
And I just state, you know, you're still in Afghanistan,
1:00:23
still very well could get attacked or mortared or who
1:00:26
knows what's going on. And then it's similar to being
1:00:30
at a fire station too, where, OK, you ran a call, OK, you're
1:00:32
out. And then you're back to the fire
1:00:34
station, feet up watching a movie.
1:00:36
I guess what your nervous system is still kind of perked up, you
1:00:40
know, So you get, and that's, that's why, you know, a lot of
1:00:42
people talk about like PTSD and all this trauma stuff.
1:00:45
And I'm, I'm trying to bring a little bit more awareness to
1:00:48
what's known as operator syndrome.
1:00:51
Some people call it firefighter syndrome because again, you
1:00:53
don't have to be an operator to have this stuff, right.
1:00:56
It it's about like traumatic brain injuries that chronic
1:00:59
stress and it really messes up your nervous system.
1:01:01
And so many people think the nervous system is like an on off
1:01:04
switch and it's really more like I, I, I do a lot of balance
1:01:07
board stuff. So it's like a balance board.
1:01:09
You're kind of more in a, like a kind of a sympathetic state and,
1:01:13
and a little bit of paracin or, you know, it's, it's back and
1:01:15
forth and, and there's, I don't know, I've been diving into it.
1:01:19
I'm like a nerd. One thought, one thought can
1:01:22
just take you anywhere. Yeah, like I said, I have a lot
1:01:26
of rabbit holes so but yeah. And exactly you your nervous
1:01:34
system gets messed up. So when you you have to figure
1:01:36
out how to do these things, the the the strength work, the the
1:01:39
mobility work, the breathing, all that stuff.
1:01:42
And, and again, it, it's good for just humans too.
1:01:46
Everyone experiences this stuff. And that's what we're really
1:01:48
seeing how you how you brought up the pandemic earlier that put
1:01:52
a lot of people in these chronic stress.
1:01:54
States. That's why so many people are
1:01:57
having these problems. And it's, it's really been very
1:02:00
cool. Now here lately, I've been
1:02:02
helping out a lot of people and it, it's to me, it's simple.
1:02:06
Well, it's still complex problem, but no.
1:02:09
I, I agree with you because once you go through the process and,
1:02:13
and, and get that space of healing and, and once I got
1:02:16
that, man, I tell you, once I got that first glimpse of peace
1:02:21
after like I collapsed in O six. It wasn't until 2010, almost 20
1:02:27
or 20, beginning of 2011 when I got in the personal development
1:02:29
class. And I'm sitting there in that
1:02:31
class like 170 some people, and we have a conversation about the
1:02:35
vicious circle. And it's like, OK, what happened
1:02:39
versus what you made it mean, right?
1:02:40
And so I'm going, I'm like, OK, cool.
1:02:42
I'm listening to the coach and we're going through the
1:02:43
conversation. So then they say, OK, now look
1:02:45
in your life and see where you made-up a story, something like
1:02:49
that. And gentlemen, it was like I
1:02:53
could see my hand in front of my face of me sitting at my desk at
1:02:58
work. And I remember we all did our
1:03:03
physicals. We were getting deployed and I
1:03:07
did my paperwork but the doctors flagged me because of my
1:03:10
collapsing with the rhabdomyosis in the sickle cell tray.
1:03:13
And so I went to go and pull up my the e-mail and of course I
1:03:17
look at my name first 'cause I'm in charge.
1:03:18
So I'm like let me see what mine says and mine said pending
1:03:21
discharge. And I'm like, nobody called me.
1:03:26
Like nobody said like, what is this?
1:03:27
Like this is the first I've heard of this.
1:03:29
And so I'm like, isn't there a process blah, blah.
1:03:31
My mind is like, OK, OK, but I so I call and make some phone
1:03:34
calls. They're like, oh, no, that's a
1:03:35
mistake. You got to go through a Med
1:03:36
board and blah, blah, blah. But I had already read it.
1:03:41
And as soon as I read it and it said pending discharge, I made
1:03:44
it mean my life was over because my again, I could say my
1:03:47
identity was trapped. So sitting at my desk from that
1:03:51
moment on, every time that phone rang, it was like, Oh my God, is
1:03:55
this the call that's going to end my career?
1:03:58
And that was a three-year process.
1:04:01
So sitting in that class, I, I discovered that, oh, shoot, I'm
1:04:05
sitting at my desk, I'm looking, I'm thinking about that story
1:04:07
that's been going in my mind. And I put it in that
1:04:10
conversation and I realized that all the Army said was you're
1:04:15
going to get a medical board for Ron made it mean my life is
1:04:19
over. And when I was able to separate
1:04:22
it's vicious circle because at that point of making that
1:04:25
decision, no matter what happened to me, my life is over.
1:04:29
I got a flat tire because my life is over.
1:04:31
You know, just whatever, it's random.
1:04:33
So when I put it in that conversation and I unraveled it,
1:04:38
it was like, oh, shoot, I made that up.
1:04:41
The Army didn't, didn't, they didn't say my life was over.
1:04:44
I said that and I could take responsibility for saying that
1:04:48
to myself. I didn't.
1:04:49
There was no more blame. And that was the space where I
1:04:52
found like I, I experienced the peace.
1:04:56
I was like, oh shoot, like that feels good that I recognize
1:05:00
that. And that's not the truth.
1:05:02
It was my truth, but it wasn't the truth.
1:05:05
And man, I've been chasing Peace of Mind for 15 years, man.
1:05:08
And it's allow me to just find those stories in my mind that
1:05:13
I've made-up stories about my mom and my dad and, and my the
1:05:16
breakup with the 14 year old girlfriend and just all the
1:05:19
stuff that I made-up because of my how my brain was.
1:05:25
Yeah, it's all about your mindset.
1:05:27
Yeah, mindset. It's mindset right there.
1:05:30
Exactly. You can have these bad things
1:05:32
happen to you and then think like, oh, it's because of this,
1:05:36
or you can just be like, now look at these bad things being
1:05:39
like, OK, this is an opportunity to grow.
1:05:41
Thank you for having all these bad things happen to me.
1:05:45
You know, that's, that's how I view it now.
1:05:47
And, and, and that's why just like you said, you know, because
1:05:50
I've, I've been through this, like I, I had a mental health
1:05:53
crisis a little over a year ago, but I was able to bounce back
1:05:57
very quickly because I was like, I know what I need to do.
1:06:01
I got to get to a safe environment, break that cycle,
1:06:04
restore my chemical imbalances, and then like dump some trauma,
1:06:08
get some professional support and then continue to do this
1:06:12
stuff. And that's a lot of the problem
1:06:14
is a lot of guys that they'll do it at 1st and then kind of fall
1:06:17
off the wagon. Something bad happens.
1:06:19
And I, I was having a conversation with a friend the
1:06:22
other day, this great analogy about like, it's kind of like a
1:06:25
filing cabinet and your brain basically has like your
1:06:28
cognitive behavioral and emotional.
1:06:33
So it's like the three drawers. And if you do this stuff to
1:06:37
strengthen conditioning, the breath work, mindfulness work,
1:06:39
you get a little bit more space in those drawers.
1:06:42
And every time some sort of trauma or stress happens, it's
1:06:45
another file. And if you never go through and,
1:06:48
and sort those files, boom. So like doing this stuff helps
1:06:53
more space in the drawers. And, and it's, it's pretty much
1:06:56
kind of how it works. You can be more resilient and
1:06:58
then you can bounce back better too.
1:07:01
So it goes back to mindset. Yeah, definitely.
1:07:04
I'll share. Go ahead, son.
1:07:06
That in my former life, apparently my admin would meet
1:07:10
with me every morning, we'd go over the day's routine and we
1:07:14
literally didn't book appointments.
1:07:16
I had all the appointments. We booked time on my schedule
1:07:21
for me to get out of meetings and go use the restroom.
1:07:24
That's what we were booking. And then sometimes when I was
1:07:28
traveling, I would stay over on the East Coast or over on the
1:07:32
West Coast because it was more efficient for me to do that than
1:07:36
versus flying where I might stay out of the country.
1:07:41
You know, it was that type of schedule constantly.
1:07:45
That was my life as I've learned it.
1:07:48
I don't remember all of that. I've, I've learned all about it.
1:07:52
That's where I was before. Now my wife and I not, I'm not.
1:08:00
Last year I, I walked away from all of that, apparently when I
1:08:07
got well enough at home and I found, you know, an old laptop
1:08:13
and I found some of my, my tablets that, you know, I'd keep
1:08:18
my notes in every day. Wow.
1:08:22
So, you know, I started looking at these things, my iPads and
1:08:27
all these people started coming out of this woodwork, out of the
1:08:32
woodwork like, oh, he's alive. You know, these sorts of things.
1:08:37
I didn't know, you know, I'm still, I'm still wearing Velcro
1:08:41
shoes. The point I'm trying to make is
1:08:46
at one point I had to shut down and walk away from all of that.
1:08:51
Even at that time, I wasn't smart enough to know what I was
1:08:55
doing. You know, the people from the
1:08:58
office were calling and telling my wife, hey, it's nice that
1:09:02
he's doing OK, but could you please take his name off of this
1:09:07
stuff and shut down. And she had a conversation with
1:09:11
me. It's time to shut down and walk
1:09:14
away. And that was the best thing that
1:09:17
I ever did. And then I think it was not last
1:09:22
year's, right after I had the last brain surgeries, an
1:09:26
individual that was here in Colorado that was very, very
1:09:28
close passed away. And the CEO of another company
1:09:34
out of Chicago married his daughter.
1:09:37
And apparently that CEO and that Chicago and I had stayed
1:09:43
friends, apparently. And so he asked me if I would
1:09:45
go. And I went.
1:09:47
That was my first time stepping back in.
1:09:50
Wow. And when I went there, these
1:09:53
people would come up and they would say hello and I and he
1:09:56
walked that there was another child in there that we walked
1:09:59
around with me and he would introduce me and I didn't know
1:10:03
the people there because of this.
1:10:06
And people would come over and they were talking to me and they
1:10:10
were saying things to me and. Probably overwhelming.
1:10:16
Even though I didn't, I didn't know them when I walked out of
1:10:21
there, the thing that was sticking on my shoulders was the
1:10:27
stress. The stress because these people
1:10:30
were expecting me to be able to be there with them and.
1:10:37
Remember. Yeah, like tell us what happened
1:10:40
to you. Exactly.
1:10:42
But but it was even I didn't I didn't even remember it yet it
1:10:48
still felt that way. And so when I walked out, I in
1:10:55
seizures memory, I said to my wife, I am done, done.
1:11:03
And I was able to walk away. Now I will tell you this much.
1:11:08
Somehow, some way, I accidentally signed back up with
1:11:17
whatever that. Did you say accidentally?
1:11:21
Sign out with that LinkedIn app that LinkedIn I used to have
1:11:29
like 4000 people on. So I've been getting pinged with
1:11:35
all of these LinkedIn people, really nice people, don't get me
1:11:38
wrong. Yeah, of course, of course, of
1:11:40
course. But but every, that's why you
1:11:41
remember, right? But every time I see that it's
1:11:46
like this wave of I don't even know how to explain it.
1:11:51
And, and so when I, I'm hearing what you say about your past and
1:11:57
what you deal with, and I even have some old time kids stuff, I
1:12:03
get it. But when I hear you 2 talk about
1:12:06
it, that's what it's reminding me of.
1:12:09
And I, I don't feel like I, I feel like I'm blessed with the
1:12:14
memory I do. And I wonder how much of that
1:12:20
maybe led to the brain injury stroke.
1:12:24
But I feel bad for you because you have to deal with it and how
1:12:30
you deal with it. And I, I can only tell you what
1:12:34
you're talking about and what you're learning and what you're
1:12:38
doing is incredible. And if anybody's paying
1:12:44
attention, if anybody is hearing you guys talk, listen, because
1:12:50
other than that, you're going to be like me, maybe utilizing
1:12:54
Velcro shoes. And that's not bad, but being
1:13:00
able to get up and put your Velcro shoes on, I know that
1:13:05
sounds bad, but. Sean, you, you, you know, man,
1:13:11
the, the, the, the 15 years that I could say that I've been
1:13:15
because I was done. It was over.
1:13:18
I was, I had the car. I had my favorite car.
1:13:21
I had the plan, I had everything ready to go.
1:13:24
And it was like, but I held on to my youngest daughter.
1:13:28
I was like, because I have mental toughness.
1:13:29
I play basketball. So I'm, I'm, I mean, I got
1:13:31
mental toughness, but that, that, what I, that mental
1:13:35
anguish that I felt was something I had never felt
1:13:40
before. And I was, I was cool with it.
1:13:44
Why, why bother? But for you to say what you say
1:13:49
and to hear you go through, not even go through, but manage what
1:13:53
you manage consciously, right? Because you, you know that some
1:13:58
of your memory is not there and you got people in your life that
1:14:00
kind of remind you that your memory is not there.
1:14:03
Like I can't, bro. I can't even imagine, man.
1:14:06
Like your strength. I don't even want to say it's
1:14:10
resilience. I'm like perseverance because
1:14:13
you got to constantly. I mean, so for me, resilience is
1:14:18
being able to bounce back right when, when something happens,
1:14:22
but perseverance is that's a, through a difficult
1:14:25
conversation, through a difficult like every day, like
1:14:28
you're saying, 51st, 51st dates every day.
1:14:31
You've got to remember that you don't remember to, to, to, to go
1:14:36
through today, man. And and I just, I'm holding back
1:14:40
my emotions, man, because it's I can't even imagine what I deal
1:14:47
with and how you have and how you manage yours, man.
1:14:51
Oh, here's what I'm going to tell you.
1:14:52
That thing my wife likes. I don't remember what foods I
1:14:56
like. So like she's.
1:15:01
Like, no, You like this? Yeah.
1:15:03
Oh. Yeah, you like eat that.
1:15:04
You know, you used to eat that too.
1:15:05
Yeah, we are. So if I didn't like it, yes.
1:15:09
She Oh my. Goodness, yeah, has she said if.
1:15:12
Your favorite foods have changed.
1:15:13
Or anything. She said.
1:15:17
Like your favorite foods have changed or anything?
1:15:19
I was kind of curious. Maybe, like, yes.
1:15:21
And here, here. I'll tell you exactly what.
1:15:24
And this one's going to sound kind of easy to deal with.
1:15:27
I hated sweets and never ate sweets.
1:15:31
Yeah, now I don't. I love if you're, if you're
1:15:35
looking at ice cream and you're holding on to it, you better
1:15:37
run. And if you can't run faster than
1:15:39
me, I wonder. I wonder if that has.
1:15:42
Something to do with the brain loving glucose or something.
1:15:45
And so now you're like, I don't know, I guess.
1:15:47
Yeah, I, I. Had a little thought in my head.
1:15:49
I don't know. Here's another thing that I will
1:15:53
tell you. Apparently, I would smoke.
1:15:56
I wouldn't smoke during the day, but I would smoke now.
1:16:01
I don't want. I don't smoke and when I I can't
1:16:06
even stand the smell of it. To be quite frank, I don't.
1:16:10
Know ex smokers? Yeah.
1:16:12
You got turned into an ex smoker, yeah.
1:16:14
Yeah, So I wonder if that's, you know, what keeps me, kept me
1:16:19
from eating the sweets. I don't know but.
1:16:24
You, you sound like you. It doesn't sound like a bad
1:16:27
thing though. Almost.
1:16:29
You. You, you get to be Yeah, I mean,
1:16:32
I want to say bad. It's not right or good or bad,
1:16:34
but you're you got you got new experience.
1:16:37
I don't know. I don't even know how to
1:16:38
articulate that, bro. It's just.
1:16:40
Well, I don't know, Matt says. He's going to come to Colorado
1:16:43
and start working on PT with me. That's really crazy.
1:16:47
I got a buddy in Colorado. I got a few buddies, but yeah.
1:16:50
This station This station is in Colorado MBR.
1:16:53
Is in Colorado as well. Where at in Colorado?
1:16:56
Don't make me. Don't make me lie to you.
1:16:57
I don't. I don't want to see what city
1:16:59
is. Yeah, there's a lot of Colorado.
1:17:03
Be here. I mean, I'm good with that.
1:17:05
I mean, if you're going to run the way I fall, I'll just hop
1:17:08
on. And I'm lightweight, too.
1:17:10
I've lost a lot. Of weight, yeah.
1:17:10
But Sean, I was going to say like you're like exactly like
1:17:13
someone that I'd. I'd love to help, you know, and
1:17:16
just your story is pretty amazing.
1:17:17
I mean, you said you had to learn to walk again, I think.
1:17:20
Yeah, yeah. So.
1:17:23
When I when this happened, yes. And then not last year, year
1:17:27
before when they did the testing, you got to learn how to
1:17:30
walk again. And then when they did the
1:17:32
surgeries, you got to learn how to walk again, although those
1:17:36
two times weren't too bad. So yeah.
1:17:39
No, it's, I mean, it's just like, I mean, it's another
1:17:42
incredible story. You know, you were saying so
1:17:44
many nice things. About me.
1:17:46
And right back, I mean, you know, having to recover from
1:17:50
something like that and then not remembering things.
1:17:53
And you know, what's funny is, you know, we can all kind of
1:17:56
relate because, yeah, I have a traumatic brain injury and I get
1:17:59
in these weird cycles sometimes and it's hard to see.
1:18:03
But my wife can see because she's around me all the time.
1:18:06
And you know it's. The emotion.
1:18:09
That it's again like you can, you can heal the brain.
1:18:13
You know that you're you're again a perfect example of it.
1:18:16
It's not something that you have to be stuck with.
1:18:18
So, well, the two of you, your emotional impact that gets tied
1:18:22
to it is what knocks me out because the loss of things is
1:18:30
one thing that I've got to stand kind of blessed with.
1:18:33
Yeah, yeah, Emotional pieces. Well, you brought up the, the
1:18:39
memory thing and that is, it is kind of a curse.
1:18:42
I, I have a, a photographic memory and when stuff gets bad
1:18:46
for me, it like literally I blink and it's like images flash
1:18:50
through my head and, and that was something I, I had on a, a
1:18:55
flight out to Alaska. I was thinking up with some of
1:18:58
my Marine buddies. I had flashbacks on the plane
1:19:01
and thankfully the crew handled it very well.
1:19:06
I was something got in my head for some reason.
1:19:09
I was also having, I have a nerve injury and I haven't, I
1:19:12
was having shocks of nerve pain when all those different lights
1:19:15
and tones were going off in the airplane.
1:19:18
It was, it runs through my arm. It, it shut off my PEC and
1:19:21
tricep, but I got most of it back now.
1:19:23
But now I'm literally just numb. It was originally from the elbow
1:19:26
down. Now it's just right on my index
1:19:28
finger where the trigger would rest.
1:19:30
And I was making like my trigger finger twitch and I was just
1:19:34
like, something's wrong with me. And the stewardesses came and,
1:19:38
and they took me to the back. And you know, I explained like,
1:19:41
hey, I'm a Marine veteran, I got PTSD, I'm a firefighter.
1:19:44
I don't know what's happening. And they helped me calm down.
1:19:48
They helped like me realize, like you have a photographic
1:19:50
memory. They they treated me so well and
1:19:55
and it it helped so much. It was Alaska Airlines like they
1:19:57
were they were really good. What were their names?
1:20:01
It was like Mary and Kate or something, but some stuff I
1:20:05
remember well. But.
1:20:06
I can tell you, I can tell you, Shawn, this for, for me
1:20:09
personally, the work that I've been able to do with the
1:20:13
personal development, with the cognitive behavior, I recommend
1:20:17
for all of my brothers and sisters, even if you're civilian
1:20:21
cognitive behavior is it was like the icing on the cake
1:20:26
because it, it taught me the, the personal development taught
1:20:29
me how to be with my emotions. Like we, we have feeling that
1:20:32
emotion have to become them. So I learned that and, and I
1:20:35
learned how to disconnect the thought and the body sensation
1:20:41
and the memory emotion separate them, right.
1:20:45
And so when I'm able to do that, the, the, the pains that I had
1:20:47
in my gut are not no longer connected to the memory or the
1:20:51
thought because I connected them.
1:20:53
And when you connect them together, then they disappear,
1:20:56
right? That's the beauty of when you
1:20:58
are willing to do this work, you can find your piece in some of
1:21:02
these conversations. But the college behavior was so
1:21:07
effective because I was an emotional child.
1:21:11
So I have all these emotional thoughts.
1:21:15
I could think about it right now and I could feel it in my body
1:21:17
and it's like done deal. It's happening for real.
1:21:20
But when I was able to take that course and put those stories,
1:21:24
some of those stories in those conversations is like, is this
1:21:28
thought exaggerated? And I'm like, OK, let me think.
1:21:32
And then I realized, oh, shoot, that is an exaggerated thought.
1:21:35
So now I can't, I, I had to even alter how I spoke.
1:21:39
I didn't even alter how I talked because I can't use words like
1:21:43
all or none in certain conversations.
1:21:45
I don't love, I don't like sometimes you have to.
1:21:49
Sometimes our own words are our own trap.
1:21:51
And that emotional connection to the brain and the thought and
1:21:55
the body sensation and the moment in time.
1:21:57
Like I've been able to really let some of those body
1:22:01
sensations go because I've connected.
1:22:04
So when the thought pops up, it's not connected to the 'cause
1:22:07
my, my body sensation was so crippling that I would have to
1:22:11
go lay down because I could feel it in my legs to the point where
1:22:14
I just go have to sleep it off. Like I would just like I can't
1:22:17
even function. I'm just going to go lay down
1:22:19
and just, and it may take two hours, it may take 12 hours.
1:22:23
I might have to just sleep the whole rest of the day.
1:22:26
But that's how my body was so attached to the emotions and the
1:22:30
thoughts to being able to then tell the truth to myself and
1:22:35
separate where that where did that?
1:22:37
Where did that come from? That feeling of pain?
1:22:39
Oh, that was the 14 year old story of the, the, the
1:22:43
girlfriend who left me or whatever man, I was 14.
1:22:48
Like then you have to tell the truth about.
1:22:49
Carry those things, yeah. I was 14, Like, come on.
1:22:52
Like I have to have compassion for myself.
1:22:54
Forgive myself for making up those stories of AI was five.
1:22:59
I was eight. I was 6.
1:23:01
I was 12 like I'm 55. I can't, I'm not, I'm not 12
1:23:06
anymore. Like, but you have to be willing
1:23:08
to go through those processes as as you're talking about Madden
1:23:12
and Sean, like you got to be willing to put yourself in those
1:23:14
conversations. We don't realize that sometimes
1:23:18
you got to go through that body sensation, feel it.
1:23:20
You got to experience it. Because I know for me, the
1:23:24
moment I experience it in those conversations, I know I'm about
1:23:26
to be free from it because I'm feeling it and I'm willing to
1:23:30
feel it again. And then it's like, that's
1:23:33
stupid, like that's ridiculous. It was it was that thought that
1:23:38
story connected to all of this physical body sensation trauma
1:23:42
cause the body keeps score. Yep.
1:23:44
All that from a thought like no man.
1:23:47
And so I chased that now, like I'm chasing those stories to let
1:23:51
them go because there's so much freedom on the other side,
1:23:54
y'all? It really is.
1:23:56
It's so much freedom. So Matt, before we get out of
1:24:00
here, man, I, I got a question for you.
1:24:01
So, you know, I, I'm going to play this first and then I want
1:24:05
you to to comment with me. My name is Anne Halley.
1:24:08
I am the CEO and founder of the Rhabdomyosis Foundation.
1:24:13
I founded the organization in 2022 in an effort to support
1:24:18
survivors and fund medical related research.
1:24:22
If you're interested in getting involved with our organization,
1:24:25
you can visit ourwebsite@therabdofoundation.org.
1:24:31
You can sign up as a volunteer or you can support our
1:24:34
organization by donating directly on our website and all
1:24:37
proceeds will go to Support Survivors and Medical Research.
1:24:44
All right, Matt, given some of your background, I'm listening.
1:24:48
I'm listening to Are you familiar with Rapdo being in
1:24:52
that CrossFit world? Yeah, CrossFit tends to get
1:24:56
CrossFit gets a bad Rep for Rapdo thing too, because there
1:24:59
was like a case not too long ago where a bunch of kids got Rapdo
1:25:02
because. Yeah, exactly.
1:25:04
Do you hear about that? Yeah, they kind of do.
1:25:05
Like he was a. He was like a Navy SEAL person
1:25:09
or something that he came in to try to.
1:25:11
I don't. Know the whole situation.
1:25:12
So you know, who knows what? But yeah, it, it again, it
1:25:17
depends on many factors. And, and again, that's why it's
1:25:21
important to meet people where they're at.
1:25:23
And I think that's where, you know, I don't want to just keep
1:25:27
bringing up CrossFit. I don't coach CrossFit anymore,
1:25:30
but that's where sometimes I, I think it got to where it was
1:25:34
really common cause a lot of people that used to be athletes
1:25:36
were jumping back into these high intensity workouts.
1:25:40
But you haven't done this stuff in a while.
1:25:42
So rhabdomyolysis and, and, and it can just happen to someone
1:25:46
that isn't trained. Like you can't shoot a cannon
1:25:48
out of a canoe. You have to have a good
1:25:50
foundation. And so that's why with, like
1:25:52
with our strength program, we, we meet people where they are.
1:25:55
I have a live training program that people can follow.
1:25:57
That's mine. I do like strongman stuff and
1:26:01
some conjugate method stuff. I don't know if you're familiar
1:26:03
if I'm speaking whatever weird language, but but it's not just
1:26:08
that. Again, we, we, we meet with
1:26:10
people, we figure out, you know, OK, do are you an adaptive
1:26:13
athlete? You know what, what other sort
1:26:16
of issues do you have? We try to meet people where they
1:26:18
are and get them started with at least something.
1:26:22
Because that's the thing too, is a lot of people think I I can't
1:26:24
do this or guys try to go back to like, OK, I did this when I
1:26:28
was in the Marines and it's like, well, you're not in the
1:26:30
Marines anymore and you haven't done this.
1:26:33
You. Know.
1:26:35
You know, down. All the wild.
1:26:37
Turkey and then go 5 miles like it won't, it won't end very
1:26:42
well. So, you know, we try to get
1:26:45
people started with just what what can you do?
1:26:46
And then get them moving again and get them out of pain.
1:26:49
Because that's the other thing too, is it?
1:26:51
And all this stuff is tied to your nervous system as well with
1:26:55
the movement and everything. Like the sympathetic is the
1:26:58
Control Board is pretty much in the spine.
1:27:00
And for the parasympathetic, it's the vagus nerve.
1:27:03
And when you're not breathing properly with the diabetic
1:27:07
breathing, you're not knowing your parasympathetic nervous
1:27:10
system as much. So that's why I'm very big on
1:27:12
like when we teach people breath work about the mechanics and
1:27:16
doing it probably. And I said, you know, just like
1:27:18
with strength training, it's just like if you want to build
1:27:20
strong legs, but you're only doing calf raises, you're not
1:27:24
going to get strong legs. It's kind of like with
1:27:26
breathing, if you're, if you're breathing with just your
1:27:28
accessory muscles, but you're not using your main 1, the
1:27:30
diaphragm or you're not going to be breathing very well.
1:27:33
And it, it just leads. All this stuff is connected and
1:27:37
just how you're talking. The body keeps the score and it,
1:27:39
it really does. And and that's why, you know,
1:27:42
there's a gut brain connection. That's why I feel it in my gut.
1:27:46
When you probably, when you saw that you know the pending
1:27:48
discharge, I bet your heart. Oh, bro, it was, it was a wrap.
1:27:53
It was, it was like I, it was like I was, I was done in that
1:27:56
chair, bro. It was, it was over.
1:27:58
And it's just, it's interesting. I, I, I took a, A Class A while
1:28:00
back and I learned that the heart actually sends more
1:28:04
signals to the brain than the brain does to the heart.
1:28:08
And it's like, you'd think it'd be the opposite, right?
1:28:10
It's like, who's really in charge?
1:28:12
Right, That's why people point to the heart, but there is was
1:28:15
really the subconscious brain, but they are connected as as far
1:28:20
as those body sensations and Nautica said all that other
1:28:22
stuff that goes on. Somebody is very complex and and
1:28:26
cool in my opinion. I don't know, but yeah.
1:28:29
But I'm a I'm a rabdo advocate. So I advocate for sickle cell
1:28:32
trait because I have that inherent to gene.
1:28:34
But for some with sickle cell trait and over exerting, over
1:28:37
exerting ourselves can cause the rabdo.
1:28:40
So I think they're saying that the they're they're trying to
1:28:44
determine which one causes what first, the chicken or the egg,
1:28:48
because because the Rabdo would mix with the sickle cell trait
1:28:52
has caused sudden death and a lot of athletes and and and
1:28:55
military. So they're trying to figure out
1:28:58
the sickle cell community don't want to take responsibility
1:29:02
because of the sudden death, because then you're talking
1:29:04
about 300 million people with sickle cell trade plus they're
1:29:07
not. So now they got to that could
1:29:10
blame raise a concern or discrimination?
1:29:12
Like there's a lot. I get there's a lot.
1:29:14
Yeah, I haven't heard that about sickle Cell, but yeah, it.
1:29:18
Yeah, the trait. So, yeah, so we're more
1:29:20
susceptible because I have one normal gene and I have one gene
1:29:23
that can mutate. So that day that I collapsed at
1:29:26
a knock, those 40% red blood cells that I have, a sickle cell
1:29:29
trait mutated. So I lost oxygen to my body,
1:29:33
which then triggered the rhabdo, which is the skeleton muscular
1:29:37
breakdown of all the enzymes leaking in the toxins and all
1:29:40
that. So then I had renal failure and
1:29:42
then for like I said, most cases people have cardiac arrest and
1:29:44
they passed away. But I didn't have the cardiac
1:29:47
arrest. But my CK levels were 12,000 and
1:29:49
rising and I had 50% each of my kidneys.
1:29:53
So they they only diagnosed me with the Rabdo first.
1:29:56
It wasn't even nothing about the trade until a fellow officer
1:29:59
friend of mine shared with his sickle cell trade experience
1:30:02
that triggered my memory that I was a carrier.
1:30:05
And then that's when I discovered that that there was a
1:30:07
connection. And then that was the final
1:30:09
decision for the military to be like, OK, yeah, you, you got to
1:30:11
go. So anybody can experience rap
1:30:14
though. That's the point.
1:30:15
Anybody can like just say can experience it.
1:30:17
There are there are even skeletal, muscular disorders.
1:30:21
There are other red blood cell conditions, cholesterol
1:30:26
medications, the the statin drugs can cause it.
1:30:29
So it's, it's a very important conversation.
1:30:32
So I I take on both of those because I can speak from the
1:30:37
sickle cell trade and the Raabdo experience and so the.
1:30:39
Drugs. Yeah, statin medication can
1:30:42
trigger the raabdo as well. Yeah, I bet there's probably a
1:30:46
lot of cases that where people just blame Raabdo when there
1:30:50
might be something else going on too.
1:30:52
And, and, and that's why, and that's why I, I, I understand
1:30:54
with the sickle cell community of saying that is it the
1:30:58
inherited gene? But now we have some evidence
1:31:01
that the, the sickle cell trait plus the rhabdo is causing
1:31:07
kidney issues. And some people have had kidney,
1:31:10
there's a rare kidney cancer connected to sickle cell trait
1:31:13
carriers. And so they're started to
1:31:16
realize that athletes, like I said, if you overexert yourself
1:31:19
and you the constant exercising could for some 'cause of rare
1:31:25
kidney cancer or renal failure and things like that.
1:31:28
So now they're looking at it as OK, they're, it may not be
1:31:31
benign, but there was. So there is something going on
1:31:34
with the sickle snow trace. We're not just carriers and it's
1:31:38
not just African Americans, it's Caucasian, Mediterranean.
1:31:40
So there's a whole nother, you know, conversation to that.
1:31:43
But the rap though, I took on because I saw that anybody can
1:31:49
experience. I've interviewed little short
1:31:51
Asian women to muscle bound, you know, warriors that have had
1:31:57
rabbed though, and a lot of them didn't know what triggered it,
1:31:59
where it came from. And so that CrossFit world gets
1:32:02
a lot of what you said, a lot of Flack.
1:32:05
Yeah, for for some, I guess it's because of the high intensity
1:32:08
stuff and also, yeah, you go. From one exercise of it was
1:32:11
yeah, because you go from, and I almost experienced it twice
1:32:14
trying to get back in shape and going from one exercise to the
1:32:17
next to the next. And then it was like, bro, I, I
1:32:19
felt I like I felt they're getting ready to trigger and I
1:32:21
had to step back. So right.
1:32:23
Yeah, but wow, definitely. Yeah, I I have all these gears
1:32:29
turning in my head because I helped AI used to train this
1:32:33
lady. She would get seizures when her
1:32:34
heart rate would get too high. And I I use a palm cooling
1:32:38
device. It's called a cool MIT.
1:32:39
I don't know if you're all familiar with palm cooling, but
1:32:42
one of the cold water on the hand runs to the heart, heart
1:32:46
pumps cold blood to all the organs, cools off the brain,
1:32:49
everything else too, and the muscles.
1:32:50
And that's a big part of like fatigue is, is actually the
1:32:54
muscles heating up. So this helps cool everything
1:32:57
down, You recover better. But I found it to be very
1:33:00
helpful for my mental health. But they're also discovering
1:33:02
it's very helpful for multiple or Ms. multiple.
1:33:07
I can't see it right now. Multiple scope.
1:33:16
They're they're seeing a lot of progress and good results for
1:33:19
people with that. And I know when I was stuck in
1:33:22
my operator mode, I usually I can feel it in my head like when
1:33:26
it's when I get dazed like that essentially.
1:33:28
And I, I felt immediate relief. And so it kind of makes me
1:33:32
wonder if maybe just stuff like that could possibly help with
1:33:35
rapid dude, you know, it's something I'd have to look more
1:33:38
into or possibly even. Sickle cell, You know I I don't.
1:33:41
Know I'd have to do more research or or like CO2
1:33:44
tolerance stuff to I don't know how familiar all are with CO2
1:33:48
tolerance so if you want me to go into it I can sometimes I
1:33:53
feel like I go down rabbit hole No, you're good you're good but
1:33:57
so. It's essentially.
1:33:59
Relates to the brain too and what the impact.
1:34:01
Is on it with the brain and how that impacts other parts, yes,
1:34:07
right. Yeah, so.
1:34:09
Most people think that urge. To breathe is like they need
1:34:11
more oxygen and a lot of times it's that your CO2 levels are
1:34:15
rising and you don't tolerate it well.
1:34:17
So your body's trying to balance it out.
1:34:19
And most people are also doing the shallow breathing.
1:34:22
And when you get to where you're better at tolerating those CO2
1:34:25
levels, riding, you can hold your breath longer and your body
1:34:28
also just distributes oxygen better.
1:34:30
So your blood pressure will go down.
1:34:32
Like I used to struggle with some high blood pressure.
1:34:33
Now it's much lower my heart rate.
1:34:37
I'm sure that's part of it. I it's a.
1:34:38
Combination of things Combination.
1:34:40
How did you get off the blood pressure?
1:34:41
How did you get How did you get off the pills?
1:34:44
Nutrition, Exercise I I basically did the.
1:34:47
Opposite of what the VA well, I never got put on blood pressure
1:34:49
meds thank you but but they and that was the other.
1:34:53
Thing too is a lot of. Like because I did strongman
1:34:55
stuff, they would just kind of be like, oh, it's probably off a
1:34:59
bit or something. It's like I don't like walking
1:35:01
around with my blood pressure being like 150 / 100.
1:35:04
Like, that's not good. And sometimes I had some white
1:35:07
coat syndrome being at the VA, But yeah, basically they told me
1:35:10
to like avoid salt and red meat and I basically did the
1:35:13
opposite. A really good book, The Salt
1:35:16
Fix. By the way, if you don't take
1:35:18
any BP meds, high blood pressure meds, you don't.
1:35:21
Take any. No, I take.
1:35:24
I take a supplement with. Meatane which?
1:35:26
Basically, they got me they. Got me.
1:35:30
I'm trying to get off of them I'm.
1:35:31
Trying to get off of them. Mine went up after I got the
1:35:34
vaccine so I'm trying to tell them improving your CO2
1:35:39
tolerance. Can help a lot.
1:35:40
It's something that. Surfers do a lot I I read it
1:35:42
about it in the book Built to Move by Doctor Kelly Starrett
1:35:46
and and his wife Juliet. I don't know if you are are
1:35:49
familiar with them. Very good book, but he talks
1:35:54
about CO2 tolerance in it. And again, when you can improve
1:35:57
your CO2 tolerance and get more efficient at your breathing,
1:36:00
like everything works a whole lot better.
1:36:02
And again, it, it just makes sense too.
1:36:04
When you start breathing right, your, your heart also has these
1:36:07
like baroreceptors in it. So it reads these pressure
1:36:10
changes. And again, so when you're not
1:36:13
breathing right, you're just you're putting more pressure.
1:36:15
You're not. Yeah, it makes sense.
1:36:20
Yeah, it makes sense. I mean, there's a whole.
1:36:22
Lot. Of stuff you can do with the
1:36:23
breath and. Then you combine some strength
1:36:26
training, some conditioning work again, it's it's kind of cool.
1:36:32
I like to just dive down. I could I could probably ramble
1:36:34
on for forever. No, thank you.
1:36:36
Thank you. We're going to get out of here.
1:36:38
I've I've. We've got an hour and 36
1:36:40
minutes, gentlemen. I appreciate every moment of
1:36:43
this conversation. I usually do an hour, 45 minutes
1:36:45
anyway, so we're right in the in the window of of my time.
1:36:50
Sean, Sean, anything you want to say before we get out of here,
1:36:52
man, It's up. It's on you right now.
1:36:54
You know what, I've learned so much.
1:36:55
I think you guys are wonderful. I want to.
1:36:58
Thank you both for the opportunity to sit down.
1:37:01
I could go on just listening for a while.
1:37:04
I'm learning too much, but thank you.
1:37:09
You know, I've got family members that are getting into
1:37:13
some. My daughter is with the
1:37:15
gentleman's moving into the firefighting world, which is
1:37:19
wonderful. I've got tons of family in the
1:37:22
healthcare world today, so I'm logged into that.
1:37:26
It's wonderful to meet both of you and spend time with us.
1:37:30
Thank you. Thank you for that.
1:37:31
Great to meet you, Sean. Definitely, definitely a
1:37:34
pleasure. Thank you for your time.
1:37:36
Today. All right, Matt, what you got
1:37:37
for us, man, before we get out of here.
1:37:39
Well, thank you for having me. It's it's been great.
1:37:43
Always happy to just talk and it's been a great conversation
1:37:46
with you both. Great to meet you, Sean, and,
1:37:48
and, and you as well, Ron. And yeah, just I'm trying to do
1:37:55
what I can, right? Now you know we're just
1:37:56
starting. Out if people can somehow
1:37:59
support Operation Anti Fragile. Greatly appreciate it.
1:38:02
You can just go to operationantifragile.com working
1:38:05
very our mission comes first. That's it's like I've been doing
1:38:08
this before I actually started it like just trying to help guys
1:38:12
out and now we're trying to send guys equipment that, you know,
1:38:15
they may not know about. The sled system was huge in my
1:38:19
recovery for from a nerve injury, a loadable Mace, Mace
1:38:24
training was huge kettle bells, a landmine there.
1:38:27
There's there's just a lot of different tools that guys don't
1:38:29
necessarily know about and, and we can help them out and, and
1:38:33
bridge that gap and, and tell them how to do like you said,
1:38:36
Sean, that you got family going into the fire service.
1:38:39
Like this is something that hey, start doing these things now
1:38:43
and, and you'll be much more set up for success.
1:38:45
Same thing with our our military and, and just humans in general.
1:38:49
Yeah, at the end of the day, we don't realize that it's it's
1:38:52
just a human. Being condition that we, we, we,
1:38:56
we're not different. We're not.
1:38:59
Different we have the same. Concerns and the same worries
1:39:02
and the same stressors like men and women.
1:39:05
We are like we have the same thing.
1:39:07
We just, our environment just taught us how to respond, to
1:39:10
react to them. That's all.
1:39:11
That's all. That's it.
1:39:11
We're but we're not different as people.
1:39:13
And I really want people to really see that for themselves
1:39:17
so we can stop the labeling and stop, you know, the the way
1:39:20
these the world of systems are just just out of control these
1:39:25
days, man. Thank you both again.
1:39:29
I really. Appreciate you both.
1:39:30
Again, ladies and gentlemen, I we just connected like within
1:39:33
the last week or so or less. Yeah, I think it was just a
1:39:37
couple days ago or something. Time was just.
1:39:40
A couple days ago I'm like, I saw the dog like hey, I got to.
1:39:42
Get you I will to let's talk about who you are and and just
1:39:45
all of that. So again, you guys made this
1:39:48
episode perfect for me and I'm very blessed and so thank you
1:39:51
for your time. And again, Matt, you got a
1:39:54
website. You did give me a website or you
1:39:56
said Operation antifragile.com. I am on Instagram.
1:40:01
It's OAF under score training. I do like a little bit of
1:40:05
everything. I do strength training stuff.
1:40:08
I do stuff on mental health. I do, I go stand up paddle
1:40:13
boarding a bunch is kind of my thing too.
1:40:16
I did a fundraiser where I went for 12 hours going back what and
1:40:20
I went 40.1 miles. That I was very pleased.
1:40:23
About South in 12 hours standing on the board and then and and
1:40:27
paddle boarded. And yeah, you, you.
1:40:29
I plan to do more. I'm hoping.
1:40:32
I don't know, I might. Do it further.
1:40:34
I wanted to do like 24 hours, but I think my wife would have
1:40:36
been really mad And and plus the Gators come out at night, so
1:40:40
they're, they're, I mean, they're out there during the day
1:40:42
too, but at. Night they're hungry so.
1:40:44
They're cool with me in the day. They probably more think I'm
1:40:47
going to eat them. So yeah, yeah, I'm good.
1:40:48
Sean, anything you want to say to the people, man you.
1:40:51
Need they can always go check us out at your brave.net.
1:40:56
That's our website. You'll learn a lot about the
1:40:58
folks that I love and care about that are on our team.
1:41:01
Really, it's just designed to help people.
1:41:03
There's quite a bit out there you can learn.
1:41:06
You can just learn new things. Thank you so much, both of you.
1:41:12
I've learned a lot. You're wonderful.
1:41:14
Yeah. Hey.
1:41:15
Hit me up, Sean, I'd love. To help you out.
1:41:17
All right, I will. OK, all right.
1:41:19
Their their information. Is tagged on on my.
1:41:22
Ron Dosier Instagram and the front Dosier show as well.
1:41:25
So we'll make sure your stuff gets put out there as well and
1:41:28
it's been better than the show forever here, so you're good to
1:41:31
go. All right, thank you both.
1:41:33
I appreciate y'all again. Thanks for tuning us in.
1:41:36
This is the Frondos the show on NB Radio.
1:41:40
Yes. I'm back.
1:41:43
I'm back. All right, I got to get out of
1:41:45
here, Shouts out to NB. Radio.
1:41:49
This episode will be aired wherever you get your streaming
1:41:52
podcast platform, Spotify, YouTube, the links that you have
1:41:57
been watching the same links that you can revisit and watch
1:42:00
the show there. All right, I'm going to get out
1:42:02
of here again. Appreciate y'all for tune
1:42:03
listening in. If you have information you want
1:42:06
you want you want information you got questions you want to be
1:42:08
a guest at for Ron right there at Rondozi on Facebook, Twitter,
1:42:12
Instagram. I'll be more than happy to set
1:42:15
up a time for you to be a guest. Let me play one more of this.
1:42:19
This is the Frondos issue. Shall we saw what's to count?
1:42:21
Some of us still carry the burden of battle it threatens.
1:42:25
To drown us in our everyday lives.
1:42:28
In battle, we had our weapons and combat gear to keep us safe,
1:42:32
to keep us confident. But when we returned home, we
1:42:36
were not armed with weapons and gear to cope with our own minds.
1:42:40
I was lucky to find my combat gear, my mental weapon and it's
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discount code. Muchas Enos otrosnos vemos
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affectados Portland fermeda de. Cerulas Fasiformes adeario Y
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numero crecientes implemented onos Amos cuenta Los impactos
1:43:34
estan fermeda affecta NATO de Las personas Y en especialmente
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a Las personas de color Y conante cedentes de versos estar
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en servicio carmigo econos de mas amelida que creamos una
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mayor conciencia sobre como identificat EDI rejir El
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tratamiento de Los rascos de cellulas Fasciformes de Las
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familias acever como supera El trastorno de cellulas
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Fasciformes. Do you remember studying sickle
1:44:02
cell in biology class? What's the count on Sickle Cell
1:44:05
Trait Prevention is here to bring you awareness, education
1:44:08
and prevention conversations around the risk factors of this
1:44:11
inherited gene. Visit WDCON sct.org ladies and.
1:44:20
Gentlemen, thank you for tuning in.
1:44:23
To military broadcast radio. As we wrap up today's show, we
1:44:28
want to remind you that the podcast of today's episode will
1:44:32
be available right after we go off the air.
1:44:35
So if you missed any part of the show or want to listen again, be
1:44:40
sure to check it out. And remember, we're here to
1:44:45
support and honor our veterans. Your stories and experiences
1:44:50
matter, and we are committed to giving you a platform to share
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