Latest / Calm the Chaos with Rich Christiansen / 10 Habits of the Mentor a Child Never Forgets

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10 Habits of the Mentor a Child Never Forgets · Calm the Chaos with Rich Christiansen

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: I spent probably more time hanging from coat racks and stuffed in garbage cans than I actually did wandering the halls of our high school after F-bombing them and telling them where the sun didn't shine.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: He said, you better be nice to that kid because he's going to be a millionaire.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I decided, well, if he believes in me that much, I better believe and I better get to work.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: And above all else is exactly what Ray Allen did for me.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Believe in the individual before they believe in themselves.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: What is this life all about?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Who did I love?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Who loved me?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And did I leave this world a little better off than before I entered it?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Good afternoon.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Another episode of Calm the Chaos.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I've really been looking forward to this one.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: As my son had suggested a few topics, I came to the conclusion that we're going to rock star the nerds.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: So today I'm going to share with you the key indicators that outcomes success, not only in your life, your children's life, but also as entrepreneurs.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And before we jump into that, I wanted to start by sharing a personal story.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: When I was the nerd, I grew up in a rural community, and uh to put it mildly, I spent probably more time hanging from coat racks and stuffed in garbage cans than I actually uh did wandering the halls of our high school.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I indeed I was the nerd.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I I was a pretty skittish kid.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was bright-eyed, kind of gullible and naive, and plenty of intelligence, but uh quite frankly, uh all the jocks and the studs had their way with me, and I was pretty small.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a remarkable individual that entered my life.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: His name was Ray Allen Yarley, who was actually part of the Boy Scouts program where he was assigned to be our young men leader.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when he was first announced, this he kind of terrified me, honestly.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: As a child growing up, my mom would always say, whenever you see that 55 Chevy coming up the street, you don't just get off the road, you jump into behind the ditch bank because Ray Allen was driving that car, and he was known kind of as a rough and tumble scoundrel a little bit.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: When he was first announced as our young men leader, I was I was pretty nervous.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: But man, he went on to have remarkable impact, not only in my life, but the life of many other young men.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: He'd lived the rougher side of things, so he was able to help us navigate of why you didn't want to do some of those things.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: He used a lot of kind of cuss words, but man, he took an interest in us.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I remember a couple of activities he'd take us up on the bench of the mountains and cook delicious food for us in the Dutch oven.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: He had this dog named Han, who was a golden lap, and oh man, I fell in love with this dog.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: He was like the kindest, smartest, best friend you could ever have.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: A couple of activities that he took us on was hunting a mountain lion, chasing mountain lines through the forest, this rough mountain man taking us with his dogs and his 14-year-olds in absolute heaven.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't uncommon, Ray Allen actually stood up for me a couple of times, and and I actually knew he really cared for me.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: When we'd go camping, we'd have really, you know, honest, deep conversations.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: But the event that really changed the trajectory and precipice of my life actually happened as the summer just as I'd graduated from high school, I was working for him.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't only adore him, I adored his wife April.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: And he at this point he'd taken a deep interest in me.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember these uh stud muffin meatheads were really giving me a hard time and really speaking negative of me.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I was in the back uh room where the tires were changed, and Ray Allen was up front, and I heard him let into these these kids and lit them up like a firecracker, which felt really, you know, good to know that Alan kinda Ray Allen had my back.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: But what he said to them really, really shocked me.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: After F bombing them and telling them where the sun didn't shine, he said, You better be nice to that kid because he's going to be a millionaire.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: You could have knocked me over with a failure.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'd not even considered the fact that me, are you kidding me?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be a millionaire.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't even think at that point I'd really met or knew a millionaire, and he had just told them definitively that I was gonna be a millionaire.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well, after he said that, I decided, well, if he believes in me that much, I better believe and I better get to work.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: That was the first intonation of actually me deciding and someone deeply believing in me and setting a course and destiny in my life.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm forever grateful for Rayon Yorley and for him believing in me and setting the first model for me of what I would consider a mentor.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So now to jump right straight to it, the reality is the number one predictor of great successful entrepreneurs is mentors who believes in you.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And quite frankly, this is the greatest thing you can do for your children also, because as the parents, quite frankly, it washes in when they're and out.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it's kind of hard as a parent that your kid will have a conversation and it's like phew, ow, but then another adult that they respect comes into their life and says it and it's like instantly, it's like da-da-da-da.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Alarm bells go off and you got diamonds, lightning, and gold.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not a bad thing.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Please never go back and say, I told you so.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Put those profound leaders, mentors, and adults, older teenagers that are really be living a good life, or even young adults that are really modeling good behavior, and make sure you put occasions in your kids' life to do it.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd also say the exact same thing for yourself.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: The first one in business that deeply believed in me was uh was Alan Hall.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself as a young man.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: And where Ray Allen left off, he picked right off.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And Alan is still my we got a great little Alan thing going on here, but Alan still when I get in jams up, he's still the one I call been for 40 years now.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so so grateful the mentors that I've had.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So uh this last uh week, I conduct uh a mentor program for a family office, and I was doing the training for the mentors, which I do monthly, and I just got really prompted to compose a list of the 10 habits of extraordinary mentors.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I'm gonna go through today.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to uh dissect for you what it looks like to be an incredible mentor and the sacred responsibility of doing that because if you're not giving it back, then uh actually I don't think you should be fully receiving it.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a two-way street where we mentor and we're mentored.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna go through the 10 habits of extraordinary mentors with you and challenge you to implement this not only in your life, but also for the mentors you seek.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, number one, and above all else, is exactly what Ray Allen did for me.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Believe in the individual before they believe in themselves.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes, particularly in the early stages, we borrow our confidence.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then at what point it's put up on us and we see that vision, then we discover it on our own.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the greatest gifts that every mentor gives is the ability to see the potential in others, the potential that they haven't maybe actually realized themselves.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that the first thing that we can do as a mentor is we can actually ask and communicate how can I communicate most effectively the belief that I have in this person that I'm interacting with.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, really good mentors listen more than they speak.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes it's about the probing questions that we ask.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's uh it's uh listening to what's going on underneath and actually just asking the clarifying questions, asking what are you feeling?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: What's really going on more than the pontificating great advice that we use.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually the listening that matters most.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's not until we actually feel fully understood and seen and validated that we can actually fall uh uh fully open up.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: All right, number three is we solve the real problem, not the presenting problem.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um a little bit back, uh I uh presented and provided called uh a tool called crossing the chaos chasm.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that tool, if you haven't seen it, is profoundly effective in actually eliminating the noise of dissecting and getting through, okay, what's all the signaling going on versus what's the very root concern?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's really a great tool.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And a mentor, if not using that tool, needs to use some tool to actually say, okay, these are the symptoms, but what's the underlying cause?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: And oftentimes, whether it's a business problem, a confidence problem, a leadership problem, it a communication problem, actually it roots down to base insecurities.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes when we're when we're five years uh old, a lot of those originate.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: And if we can eliminate all the clutter and get to the very root precip of the signaling noise, then we can get to it.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, ask the questions before giving the answers.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And this is one I've had to work on as a mentor and I'm still working on.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because oftentimes it gets really, really, really clear of what's going on.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: And as we ask questions, what did the institution tell you?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: When uh what was outcomes do you really want from this?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, how do you see it?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: What options do you see before you?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if you let the individual actually come to the answer themselves rather than you tell it to them, they're not only more likely to succeed, but they're gonna take action on it.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: And none of us really like to be told what to do, even if it is from a mentor.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: If we can help individuals come to a conclusion and help guide them into the correct answer rather than just give them a solution.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: All right, this next one I think is is just really important.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Number five is we hold the high standards while extending grace.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Reality is we we all know when we've screwed up.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: We all know better than than most when we stepped in or made a problem.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And there's this beautiful balance of between holding accountable and giving encouragement.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: We can uh challenge the individuals we're working with and challenge ourselves to do better, but we should never use shame.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: We should never use uh guilt.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: We can do truth and put truth forward, but I think always using grace.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Saying things like, I believe in you.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're an amazing individual, and yes, you stepped in that, but you're you're capable of so much more.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And let me help you get there.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's the affirming language that we need to use.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: I love the the modeling of parents of high expectations.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: We always have high expectations.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: We have great grace and significant understanding and forgiveness.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: All right, number six.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Number six on this beautiful little cheat sheet I'm providing you.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, number six on the playbook that I'm providing you is this teach principles, not just solutions.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: One of the great influences in my life was Stephen Cubby.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: And although I talk a lot about values, he talked about principles.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Principles are eternal truths.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: They just simply don't change.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it's very, very quick and easy to actually jump to a solution.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to do that.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: We want to go to the very root of the principle involved in it.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: If we teach someone the old adage that's kind of overused, if we teach someone to fish, or if we catch someone a fish, we feed them today.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: If we teach them to fish, we feed them for forever.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what happens here is passing along wisdom.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the best way that I've found to do that is actually communicate in um in stories.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: People learn really, really well.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I I love this particularly about Alan.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: He'll always, ho ho, ho, he calls me his puppy.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my puppy, I was waiting for you to hit that.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I can't tell you what to do, but uh I can I can sure share with you my situation.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then he'll tell me a story.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Stories are a great, great way to teach the underlying principle involved rather than just telling uh an immediate solution.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's what happens when we transfer uh knowledge and wisdom rather than just a quick little cheat code solution.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Number seven, and I think we can all re relate to this is you know, uh, I think we love to talk about our wins and successes, but if we share our failures generously, if we are actually willing to show, oh well, I did this and this was the outcome, and it it makes us real.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the dangers of um being a mentor is to put yourself on the golden pedestal.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we've we've seen those those guys and gals, and quite frankly, they're they're not very relatable.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: We always always struggle with that, and maybe we should share our battle wounds openly.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I one of the statements that I love to make is I'm not the smartest guy in the room, but I've been in more knife fights than most.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think that's a great way to show that maybe we we can take a battle schoon and war and and still actually come out on the other side.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And oftentimes uh showing what doesn't work is as equally as powerful as showing what does work.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: And when we show the contrasting side of, I just went through one this week, talking about personal guarantees and how we should not sign personal guarantees, and I shared a time that I did, and they chaos evoked it in my life.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: So share your your failures generously and and uh be really honest and open in that.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: The next is see the whole person.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes, particularly when we're dealing in a business mode or an entrepreneur mode, where we're trying to just build specifically in the business mindset.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the reality is there's a lot more going on than what's going on.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: We have to see the entire person and the entire scope.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on in a marriage?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you're dealing with a child, what's going on with the friends?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on with the sleep situation?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think when we take the time to really go deeply and understand the entire context, oftentimes what's showing up is not even what it's about.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes someone's deeply screaming and pleading for help in a personal matter.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: I do these uh really deep, beautiful, trusted, profound two-day intensives most frequently with uh successful entrepreneurs.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I've discovered this uh over and over.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's never ever about what the problem presenting is.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's always about the deeper the five-year-old thing, and then developing the trust to talk about the struggles in the relationship, or the child that is really acting up that's inflicting a lot of damage or pain, or the business partner that there's now a misalignment.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: So taking the time to get to the deep root of what's really going on in the relationship is just critical.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: The next one is uh an obvious one, but we forget it.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that is to celebrate progress more than we do perfection.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, one of the greatest responsibilities that we have uh as a mentor is helping people recognize how far they've actually come, not just how far they still have to go.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Many of us high achievers like to spend so much time pursuing the next goal, the next task, the next list.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we actually got to take a beat, take a pause, and actually celebrate uh how far we've come.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that I love to do here is put hard stop interrupts when certain goals are hit.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: You take this trip, you have this significant reward, you buy yourself and you actually stop long enough to actually pause and look at what's been accomplished.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: And and I'm speaking primarily to you entrepreneurs out here, but uh I call and I I'm your keen.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the leader of the most functional, unfunctional people in the world.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: And oftentimes we chase our uh victories and we we chase our success and we chase that podium so hard, courageously we we do it to actually cover up some of the vulnerabilities and weaknesses.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not until we actually take those pauses and recognize and acknowledge how far we've come, not looking at always the imperfection or the misses.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen this time and again that we as humans oftentimes, man, we'll have 99 wins and we'll spend all of our go-go juice on that one failure and beat the snozzles out of ourselves.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: And and I think a really good mentor can take a pause and whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's just let's just take a beat here and and just recognize, oh my gosh, you did beautiful here, you did beautiful here, you did beautiful there.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, look at that one.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, yes, we can improve on that one, but but it'll come, and I'm really proud of how you're coming along.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: We need to inspire the individuals we're working with to just be the very, very best person that they were created to be.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Not who we as a mentor, let's not turn them into ourselves.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: And parents, please don't turn your kids into yourself either.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Let's inspire them to be the very best person that they were created uh to be.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you're enjoying this episode of Calm the Chaos.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you would like to receive more tools, frameworks, support, and resources, go to rich Christiansen.com and they're all there available for your free use.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: The last one, number 10, we always gotta do tenses is people, we always leave them stronger than we found them.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh before every mentoring conversation we have, or uh as you're going into it, we ask, we should ask, do they have greater clarity?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: How can I give them greater courage?
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: How can I give them greater hope or greater confidence?
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: And what's the next step that I could give them to bring them along?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: I have to tell one really fun story here uh with my mentor, Alan, that at one point I'd hit a really tricky one and I called him up and he laughed and says, Oh, ho, my puppy, I was waiting for you to hit I'm and I was like devastated.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I was on the floor, I was thinking my life was ended.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And he laughed and says, Oh, I've been waiting for you to hit that one.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, you're gonna get to to put on your big boy pants now.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: And uh you get to step up to this next level of learning.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: And if we can look at it that way as excitement, and then he told a story.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: He says, I can't tell you what to do, but but uh he told a story of what had happened to him.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was able to reciprocate that actually to an individual I'm mentoring this last month, almost forbade him that exact same conversation.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I'm so excited you hit that one.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Think of how much more profoundly confident and strong you're gonna be as you get to this.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's hard, it's really hard, but man, you're gonna be stronger, bitter, bigger, better, faster than you've ever been.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so I think that, man, maybe that's the ultimate thing we can do.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because just end of the day, I mean, what is this, what is this life all about?
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: It really boils down to three things.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Who did I love, who loved me, and did I leave this world a little better off than before I entered it?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just really confident one of the greatest ways we can do that is actually it goes two ways, receiving the mentoring to grow and become our best capacity, and also lifting those around us.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I I honestly have to admit, the remainder of my life, uh I'm done operating.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: I will never run another company.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: I sit on three boards or three uh situations like that at a time.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: I do my thought leadership, but I will never stop mentoring.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: I always maintain at least three individuals that I deeply believe in, that I will do everything I can to elevate Escalate and bring them to the level that I received for the amazing gifts that I had from my world-class mentors.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think the final thing that I would like to do is I've I've been very blessed with world-class mentors.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I would like to acknowledge them in gratitude at the very end, because is uh ultimately the great joys of my life came from the modeling of them.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: As a child, I was encouraged by Don Tuft.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think he actually saved me.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Ray Allen Yarley, I've already mentioned, thank you, Ray Allen.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think you're still alive, and I hope you hear this.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful for you believing in me and rock starring the nerd.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then in my business life, I've had three amazing World Cat class mentors.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, Alan Hall, thank you, Alan, for believing in me in the young age and giving me opportunities and just being the stable guiding ballast system through my entire life.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Stephen Covey, he's passed.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: What incredible loss that was.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: But modeling thought leadership and stewardship and the concept of thinking deeper and helping stabilize humanity.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: And last of all, Dr.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: Horn.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: Peter Horn, thank you so much for your courage and believing in me and giving me opportunities at a very young age and showing me not only how to apply brilliance, but to get really lasting results in leadership.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd like to close just this leadership or to please uh close this little calm the chaos session with uh the challenge to you.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you do not have an identified mentor, go get one.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you are not mentoring anyone, please go find people you can elevate.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't have to be formal.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be, oh, I'm exacting.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: As a matter of fact, if you if you don't even have anyone to identify, start serving them.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's a question I oftentimes get is how do you get a mentor?
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the quickest way is just actually start giving and adding value to someone you really want to model and pattern.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: The second is start modeling and patterning what they're doing to it and then how they act and behave.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the third of all is this inappropriate thing.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Could I take you to lunch?
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: Could I do this?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Could I spend that time with you?
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: And most individuals are really eager to engage that.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: So get a mentor and be a mentor and go live a big, meaningful life and let's calm the chaos that's going around with us.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I thank you for spending this time with me and look forward to our next session together.