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NICU PTSD, Postpartum Anxiety & Ambitious Mom Entrepreneurs with Paige Figueroa · Twin Mom Life

• Paige Figueroa: the whole crux of my postpartum anxiety, as you can imagine, started in pregnancy and then got bigger and bigger in this postpartum experience because not only is it stressful Bringing them home but I was also like learning how to like medically care for babies that have feeding tubes. I have no medical background whatsoever, so I'm like trying to it it felt like I was like a nurse and a mom at the same time and it was like these two competing identities and I felt like more of the time than not I was being nurse and I wasn't getting to experience just being mom. Jessielee Sittig: Hello and Welcome to the Twin Mom Life podcast. I'm your host, Jess. I created this podcast to help build community, connection, and most importantly, friendships among moms of multiples. Being a twin mom can be amazing and magical. That twin bond is unlike anything I've ever witnessed, but it can also be isolating and overwhelming. I'll be chatting with other twin moms, diving deep into the twin experience. giving advice on what works for us so you don't have to learn the hard way. Juggling two babies at the same time is challenging, but I'm confident we can learn from each other and figure out how to raise these babies together. Jess Sittig: Today on the podcast we have Paige. Welcome. Thank you so much for coming on today. Paige Figueroa: Thank you for having me, Jess. I podcast Jess Sittig: Yes. Paige Figueroa: days are like my favorite. Jess Sittig: me too, a hundred percent. I absolutely agree. So can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Paige Figueroa: Sure. So I am a mom of fraternal twins who are now four and a half, which is actually like wild to say out loud. they're boy-girl twins. And I'm happily married to my high school sweetheart. We've been ma gosh, we've been together for like fifteen or six we've been together more years now than we haven't been from our time on Earth, which is fun. Jess Sittig: I love that. Paige Figueroa: so it was cool being with someone I've known so long and then like embarking on a journey of twin parenthood together. and then I I was a teacher, I was an English teacher for nine years and now I'm an entrepreneur because as those of you listening probably know when you have twins sometimes you gotta like make a career change or a job change when you are faced with what to do with your twins if you have to manage working while also raising two humans at the same time. So I Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Paige Figueroa: think that covers most of the basis of who I am. Jess Sittig: That's great. Yeah. I feel like as you become a twin mom, you have to get really creative on what your career is with childcare and managing all of that. I became a stay-at-home mom with the when my boys were born because the cost of childcare Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: for three under three was so expensive. It didn't make sense for me to work. Yeah. And Paige Figueroa: It doesn't. Yeah, for when we look at it, our daycare we only do part-time daycare and it like rivals our mortgage payment. And I'm like, they literally are there for three hours. How? How? So Jess Sittig: It's wild. It's so wild. Yeah. the cost of childcare is insane. And it's been fun Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: to kind of like pivot as the kids get older. So yeah, I can't wait to dive into that. And I know we were talking off air about, you know, mental health and postpartum anxiety and things like that. So I can't wait to dive into Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: all of that today. But before we do, Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: I always love to ask. moms if they've had a chance to fill their cups today or if you have plans to do so. Paige Figueroa: I normally in a previous part of my life I probably would have been, my gosh, what did I do? But I feel like I've done a few things already. So one, I Jess Sittig: Great. Paige Figueroa: got like t I got like ten hours of sleep because I went to bed at eight thirty last night. Now I was woken up in the middle of the night by I think at one point probably by both of the twins. So it wasn't totally uninterrupted. But I did film my cut by getting a good night's sleep. I got to walk the dogs by myself without the children being on their bikes at the same time, so that was nice. And I got to listen to a podcast that I love. And I also took like fifteen minutes to like do my hair and makeup this morning while the kids were playing. Spidey together, so Jess Sittig: I love all of that and I'm giggling because my kids just got into a very big superhero phase. So I'm like, yeah, we play Spidey Paige Figueroa: Mm. Jess Sittig: all the time. That's fantastic. I love that. Paige Figueroa: Yeah, I I would say I did have to pause my hair straightening for like two minutes 'cause I sometimes I feel like the kids are like, Mommy, come play with us and I'm Yeah, I'll be there in a minute and then I legit forget half the time. So I'm like, I don't want that to happen today. So I did pause my hair straightening to be to be gobby for like three minutes but then I I I sent gobby Jess Sittig: I love that though. Paige Figueroa: away. Yeah. Jess Sittig: That's fantastic. And I love that you had like several little things that you did, like listening to a podcast, getting ready for the day. All of I feel like the biggest thing that I have learned from asking this question, and just in motherhood, is you filling your cup does not need to be this extravagant thing. It can be all these little things that just make you happy. So I love that. So for me, yeah, Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Mm. Very much agree. Jess Sittig: it's like. Of course, spa days are fantastic, but that's not gonna happen all the time. Hopefully it happens like once a year. But Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: but you gotta find little ways to fill your cup every day. So I love that. So for me, my daughter started school. So I'm getting up earlier. Yeah. It's that's been an adjustment. But I'm I'm getting up earlier, making everybody's lunches. So this week I was like, mm-hmm. So I'm like, Paige Figueroa: my gosh. Sorry. No, I was like the lunches piece. Holy moly. My husband and I were having such a hard time with that because in the summertime I was legit feeding these children lunch like ten thirty and they I don't pick them up from daycare. They get dropped off a little before nine and I pick them up around noon. So they're starving when they get in the car and it's a twenty minute drive home. So we've been having to be so creative with lunches, with these like what like what they can eat in the car, 'cause I'm like, they're starving and by the time I get home they're like hangry. So thankfully one of the clients I one of my businesses is a freelance copywriting. business and so I write a lot of email sequences for business owners and I did this email sequence for this super cool lady that has these amazing lunch ideas and I'm like I am so glad I found her because now I have all these ideas for like quick lunches that you can just throw in like a to-go thing for your lunchbox. So I will send that to you then if you need it. Jess Sittig: please do. I basically have an assembly line because I'm making three lunches and everyone kind of likes different things. So I'm trying to do Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: like some of the same things, but make sure they have their favorites. And I feel like that is a huge mom hack is like making sure that you have a mini meal for them when they get home from school or daycare because all of my kids are starving and they will eat Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: almost whatever I give them. But it does have to be. Car friendly. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's that's a big Paige Figueroa: Right, yeah. Such a good hack. Jess Sittig: thing. Yes. But with all of this, I'm like my mornings have been hectic, more hectic than normal. So I have been trying to wake up 20 minutes earlier and going on a walk before I start that. So I am up. It is dark outside. I my Paige Figueroa: I love that. Jess Sittig: it's, I mean, it's great. It's very peaceful. The house is quiet. It's dark outside, so I've been taking a flashlight, but it's great. It feels so good Paige Figueroa: Ha ha. Jess Sittig: to like do a quick walk alone. Because if I walk with the kids, that's fun too. But we're stopping, we're looking at flowers, you know, it I'm not actually Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: my brain isn't relaxing and I'm not getting that like physical peace. So that's been really nice. Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: I did that the last two days and I'm excited to like add that as part of my morning routine. So yeah. Paige Figueroa: Yeah, that's a good one. One of my summer ones I didn't wake up before the kids today, but I do love taking walks before the sun rises or when it's just about to rise. I did that a lot over the summer and I sometimes felt like I would if I woke up before them and got to do that, I was like, I feel like I'm living an alternate reality right now and it's amazing. Jess Sittig: Yes, that's such a good description because it almost feels like illegal. I'm like, is this like okay that I'm doing this? And when I'm on the walk, I'm like, Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: I mean, all of my neighbors know that I have three kids, but I'm like, do they even know I'm a mom? I'm like walking by myself. Paige Figueroa: Yeah. I'm gonna derail this podcast so much, I'm so sorry because Everything you're saying, I'm like, my gosh, I can so relate to that. I feel like when I'm out in public nowadays, when I don't have the kids with me and I see other people with their kids, I'm like, I hope that they know that I'm a mom and that I understand what they're going through. Like I don't wanna I feel like especially if I'm wearing something that's like n not like fancier, but like not like my regular like gym clothes or whatever, I'm like, I hope they don't think Jess Sittig: Sure. Paige Figueroa: I'm so fancy and that I'm judging them with their little parenting moment right now. I want them to know that I'm a mom and that I get it. So funny. Jess Sittig: A hundred percent. Paige Figueroa: Okay. Jess Sittig: I I love that and I feel that. I that this is like making me think of a random story, but I was on a plane alone, which has maybe happened once or twice in my motherhood experience. Like that's very rare that I'm traveling without my kids, you know. It must have been for Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: I don't know, to visit a friend. one of my friends had a baby. So I'm flying home and she's like with her daughter and like giving her snacks. And I'm thinking the same thing, like. I'm a mom. So I said it. I'm like, she's so cute. She's like my daughter's age. I'm like, I have to, I'm a mom too. I I get it. I get it. Yes. It's almost Paige Figueroa: Yeah, you have to let them know. Yeah. Jess Sittig: like like a, I don't know, like a rite of passage, or like we're in the same, we're in the same community. We're in the same club. I got you. Like, if you want me to help, open the snack, or like, I'm here Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: to help. Yeah, I feel that. That's that's fantastic. That's so funny. But okay. I know. Today's topic is more of a heavy one. And I feel like it isn't super easy to just dive into. So I would love to hear just a little bit about like your maybe your pregnancy and how that Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: led to postpartum because I know that your twins had more of a significant Nikki experience, which I'm sure increased the postpartum anxiety. And I know we talked about Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: NICU PTSD. So I'd love to Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: to kind of like give a little bit of backstory before we before we reach that. Paige Figueroa: Yeah, absolutely. so My husband and I found out we were pregnant, and then like a week later we're we found out it was twins, maybe it was two weeks later. We were so excited. it was a rough beginning of pregnancy with all the hormones, like I was very sick. and I was also still teaching at the time. Thankfully, my sickness didn't seem to hit me until like after I got home from work. So I I didn't really ever like throw up at school, which was good. but then we got to our 20 week scan, and I'm sure if anyone has had complications and you go to the 20 week scan, that's like oftentimes when you find out there's something going on, and they I feel like this 20 week scan takes so long because it's like a whole hour on twin A and then a whole nother hour on twin B. So the first hour with twin A, the ultrasound tech was like chatting back and forth with with us. My husband likes to be super like bantery and witty, so he was like talking the whole time, and then they get to twin b and it's like silent the whole time. And when my husband would try to like like say something to like get the lady to talk. It was just like it was just awkward and it was like so quiet. And then Jess Sittig: Hmm. Hmm. Paige Figueroa: at the end they bring in like the the MFM doctor and He essentially told us at the time, we already knew it was boy-girl twins. He's like, twin A, your son looks great. Your daughter, on the other hand, we're not even sure exactly what is happening with her. but he gave us a di what he thought was a diagnosis. It ended up being wrong, but we left that doctor appointment with him telling us we might need to terminate the pregnancy. Like, it was Jess Sittig: my gosh. Paige Figueroa: the condition he thought she had congenital diaphragmatic hernia, CDH, which is like actually worse than what she had. but we left that appointment We were like in a daze for like a week, just like we were so excited about this pregnancy, and then we get hit with that news and you know, when you have two babies and you hear that you have to turn you might need to terminate it because one of them is having an issue, it's like there's two little humans here, right? So then we that was a really hot hard week. We went to a specialized children's hospital the following week, did a bunch of tests, we got a real diagnosis. So my daughter has had what's called CPAM it's congenital pulmonary airway malformation it's basically a lung lesion so like she had abnormal lung tissue that was like really big showing up on this ultrasound and taking up so much of her lung like her heart was pushed over to the middle of her chest and The the issue with that is when she would be born, there would be a risk of her not being able to breathe on her own because of this abnormal lung tissue. and so the rest of the pregnancy, there was like this like dark cloud over it. I think after the initial diagnosis and like finding out what was going on. I kind of just like I would like walk past the nursery. We had stuff in there, but I honestly I feel like I would just walk past it and not even open the door because I'm just like I don't wanna like be too hopeful because we're Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: we were like we had a plan in place for monitoring her and stuff, but like even with the monitoring plan, like our first appointment at this specialized hospital, the doctor was saying, like, if we make it through the weekend, this is the plan Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: and like that type of language. So there was it was hard to like keep be hopeful. With all of that information while also like trying to do whatever we could possibly do. So, long story short, we ended up having to go to the hospital two or three times a week for the rest of the pregnancy. And that was really challenging because I was still working full time as a high school teacher. So I was like having to write sub plans like twice a week and drive the hospital was an hour away on a good day with traffic an hour and a half. So it was just the pregnancy was was definitely riddled with so much anxiety and it was as like a parent of twins it was so much heavier I feel like because whenever we had to make some sort of decision about an intervention we were gonna do for example we had to have this procedure done where they like kind of like suck they put like a big needle on my belly sucked some of the fluid out of her lung Jess Sittig: Hmm. Paige Figueroa: it's kind of a similar s procedure to like an amniocentesis which a lot of people don't elect to do because there's a risk of going into preterm labor. And so whenever we had to make decisions like that, it's like there are two babies in here that we're making this decision for. It's not just one baby that we're making the decision for. So I feel like I felt like the weight of twin parenting way before the the children were here because it was this there's always this fight of like are we making the best decision with both babies in mind. So yeah, so that was that was the pregnancy. Then they came early at 34 weeks and five days, I think it was. I had like an emergence it was an emergency C section, but like not like we're doing it right now. It was like your husband needs to get here in the next three hours. I had like woke up, thank goodness my mom was in town that day. I woke up and I was like so itchy and I like had weird vision Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: things happening and I was prepared to like wait and we had like a s an appointment scheduled for the next day and my mom's like no we need to go in now to just like make sure you're okay. and I was like fine. So I think I was in denial. I was like I kinda knew that I needed to go in, but I was like, I just wanna wait one more day until we're supposed to you know, that's when we're supposed to meet with the anesthesiologist because I knew I was gonna have to have a C section. so they they come early at 34 weeks. My daughter is immediately whisked away. She has to have this surgery to remove the abnormal part of her lung, which we knew about and we were like a little bit mentally prepared for that. and then We were in the NICU for seventy-two days with my daughter. I was she was recovering from her surgery, so it took her time to like wean off of breathing support, to learn how to feed. And then my son was in the NICU for ninety days, and that was Jess Sittig: Yeah. Paige Figueroa: the one that threw us a loop because we knew we were gonna Jess Sittig: Sure. Paige Figueroa: have to be in the NICU for my daughter, just with her condition. My son at first the only thing we thought he was struggling with was being a preemie, because at thirty-four and a half weeks, like he's mostly like You know, this he's like four pounds, four ounces, so he was small, but like they say it around that time it's tricky because they look like they should be able to do everything, but some kids just like he could not suck, swallow, breathe at the right Jess Sittig: Yeah. Paige Figueroa: pace. and so he had all sorts of feeding issues. He had to have a surgery for acid reflux. It was just a whole thing. So Jess Sittig: Hm. Paige Figueroa: we're in the hospital, living in the hospital for basically three months. We were living for the first month at a friend's house who lived because I said we lived an hour plus away from the hospital. My friend lived fifteen minutes from the hospital. So I spent the first like month of my postpartum journey living in her master bedroom, while she was like travel nursing. And then We ended up bringing the babies home at three months, both on feeding tubes. So my daughter had an NG tube, and my son from his surgery had a G tube, which is the one that goes right through your stomach. So Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: the whole crux of my postpartum anxiety, as you can imagine, started in pregnancy and then it just was I guess worsened and got bigger and bigger in this postpartum experience because not only is it stressful bringing two at the time I guess they weren't even they're sort of newborns, they were three months. So they were still like it like newborn's infants, whatever you want to call them at that age. Bringing them home not only having to like learn how to be a mom, but I was also like learning how to like medically care for babies that have feeding tubes. And I my I have no medical background whatsoever, so I'm like trying to it it felt like I was like a nurse and a mom at the same time and it was like these two competing identities and I felt like more of the time than not I was being nurse and I wasn't getting to experience just being mom. Because it was like this heightened anxiety of like, are they getting enough mil Through their feeding tubes, and I was also pumping, and I was also attempting to breastfeed my daughter because she had a terrible oral aversion from the feeding tube. So, like she the reason she came home with the feeding tube is she was breathing fine. She had such a bad oral aversion from being in the NICU that she didn't want to take a bottle. So we had Jess Sittig: Hmm. Paige Figueroa: to keep her on a feeding tube because she refused to feed, and I would try to nurse her, so ultimately, like. Like attempting to nurse her like did help her get over her oral aversion, but it was just it was a lot of things happening at once. So yeah. Jess Sittig: That is a lot. And I feel like I like the way that you phrase this, that you knew ahead of time that your daughter was gonna have to have the surgery on her lung. And that you guys like tried keyword tried to mentally prepare as much as you could. So at least you knew ahead of time, Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: but I don't think you can ever fully prepare yourself for your teeny tiny newborn to have surgery Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: and then completely out of left field, not even it wasn't even on your radar. that maybe your son would need any assistance, maybe a little bit of NICU time, like you said, because they were small. But I was so shocked Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: when you said that he was in the NICU longer than she was. Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Yeah, that it was shocking to us too. And any any parent out there and especially any like twin parent listening who has had a NICU experience, it's like Yeah. I I do wish I would have prepared a little more for the NICU experience, but at the same time there is only so much you can prepare for because you just you don't know what that experience is like. So it was like the stress of the not knowing, like we would make what we thought was making progress with him and we would do like the car seat test and we were almost about to take him home and then he would have like an event where his heart rate dropped super low and they're like, actually no, I think he's not ready yet So it was this constant back and forth Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: and then Just literally living. I think that that was also a huge source of anxiety for me was living in a hospital. And I say living, I wasn't sleeping overnight there, but like I'm literally in the hospital all day long. And when you're not used to that, it's super assaulting to your nervous system. Like you're constantly in like a fight or flight mode because you're like watching your little babies and their little isolate things, and you're constantly hearing beepings and like alarms going off. And it's just like if you are not used to An environment like that, which I feel like most people aren't, it's like it's so stressful. And then to like you you get used to it to an extent, you know, after a while, but like it takes a toll on your your body, it takes a toll on your mental health, and you just you just really are in this like do or you just feel like you're in this do or die situation, even though like you know that the people who can help are like right there. It just feels super, it's like a very overwhelming, yeah. Thank you. Jess Sittig: Yeah, I know we are talking offline about this too, like the overstimulation. And I can't imagine all of the beeping and that is so much. Also dealing with the stress of surgeries and the Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: constant up and downs. I had another NICU mom come on the podcast. Her episode hasn't been released yet, but she was just talking about like What you just said. One day they'd be like, okay, I think it's I think they're ready to go home. And then the next day, or an hour later, they'd be like, actually, no. So then you're how can you process that when you're like, Okay, we get to go home? wait, no, we can't. Like the back and forth has got to be like a mental F, you know? Paige Figueroa: It my gosh, it really is and it it wasn't even just in the NICU two. I think that was a huge and to be I'll have to say this too, just right off the bat. I actually didn't realize I was experiencing postpartum anxiety or NICU PTSD, which I can share more about that, until like I was like a year and a half, two years into twin parenthood because when you're Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: in the moment, and I think that this is something that I think like parents, you know, whether they're parents of multiples or not, should just realize it's like, especially if you're the person that is like not dealing with postpartum anxiety, is like recognizing that the person who is experiencing that might not even know that they're that that's what they're dealing with because they're just they're so stuck in this like survival mode, they don't even have the frame of mind. mind to step outside of themselves to be like, actually, this is not normal to feel the way that you're feeling right now. But what you were saying with the doctors, like you go two steps forward, one step back. I think a huge part of my anxiety also stemmed from not feeling like I could trust myself as the mother. Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: So you when you're in the NICU, you know, in the beginning of course there were things that I I had to let be in the doctor's hands with these like complex surgeries and things like that but it was stressful because they have their rounds and their shifts and so you're constantly hearing different opinions and different approaches to your your children's like well being from all these different people who are you know they're experts and they're so helpful so supportive so good at what they do and at the end of the day you are still the parent and you are the one who like through every shift change you are still the one that's sitting there watching these babies the entire time and so like at the time I feel like I wasn't trusting myself and I was you know putting way too much I I I our babies got excellent care at the hospital they were at but like I was not feeling like I could trust my own maternal instincts and it carried on after the hospital too because they had so many specialists that they would follow up with like Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Paige Figueroa: nutritionist cardiology pulmonary like literally any specialist you can think of I feel like you seen them. and so for the first year of motherhood, every month, sometimes every week we were going to see some specialist or other because they were having feeding difficulties and whatnot. And it was just like I was just constantly bombarded with other people's thoughts on like what was best for my child and so well-meaning and so much of it super helpful. But like I felt like my voice was silenced and it took me a long time to be like, actually, no, I understand from a medical perspective, like why you think that that is the best thing. And also this is why I don't think that this is feasible at home. So just Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: for an example, my son had his Feeding tube, and thankfully, we had a home care nurse that would help me because she watched the babies during the day because I went back to teaching for that first year. So Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: she would come to me with these appointments and she would really kind of help me advocate for myself because they wanted him to be on his continuous feed overnight. So, like, imagine this like little baby, and he was probably eight, nine pounds at the time in his crib, hooked up to a feeding tube that's going through his stomach, and it's slowly being pumped in his stomach over. Course of eight hours while he's sleeping at night. Now, when this child and my son, is a climber, so he's four and a half now. He climbs over our five foot fence outside without any problems. He started doing that when he was like two and a half. So when he Jess Sittig: my god. Paige Figueroa: he started standing up in the crib before a year old, and I have this dietitian telling me he needs to keep this overnight feed, and I'm like, absolutely not. I would sleep next to him, and sometimes he I would. Wake up and the tubing from the feeding tube was wrapped around his neck. And it's not like Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: not like super like I don't I don't think it would technically ever like strangle him or something, but imagine waking up to that in the middle of the night. Jess Sittig: Still though, yeah. Paige Figueroa: And I'm like, no. So I had to like learn how to advocate for myself. Like, I see why you think he needs this, and also if we do that, it's it's dangerous. And also, Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Paige Figueroa: how is this child gonna ever learn how to feed on his own Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: if he's doing this? Like it it was necessary. At a point in time, but I was like, we gotta help this child learn how to feed on his own. So I feel like if it wasn't for me advocating for myself and this amazing home care nurse that we worked with, like I think he would have been on his feeding tube till he was like five or six, and thankfully he was able to get off of it when he was two. So I think a lot of anxiety is just from this like constant people telling you what to do with your child and also with the feeding situation, it was just like such a fixation on numbers all the time. Like, Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: are they are they eating the right amount of food and and I as said I was a pumping mom, so like even the anxiety stemmed from like, am I pumping enough? I would literally track like I don't think there's anything wrong with tracking how much breast milk you're pumping, but the way that I was doing it was very I was just being s Jess Sittig: Obsessive. Paige Figueroa: it was obsessive and it was so hard on myself and I just like Yeah. If I could go back and like just with the perspective I have now, I would be like, what you're doing is enough. It's okay. It's okay. So, yeah. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. That's all. I just feel you on keeping track of everything. I feel like now as a mom of three, my kids are a lot older and I look back at the things that I did and how it probably only exacerbated the anxiety and depression that I was having. And I did that with my daughter. Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: It was crazy. Like the things I would keep track of. And I I didn't need to. Like, Paige Figueroa: Yeah Jess Sittig: you know, like in the beginning, as a first time mom, maybe you want to know, okay, Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: how many times are they feeding? They're supposed to feed X amount of times. Are they doing that? Okay. Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: And then with my sons, it was the same thing. I exclusively pumped and we had very different issues compared to, you know, feeding tubes and things like this. But They had a cow's Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: protein allergy. They were losing weight. They were diagnosed Paige Figueroa: Mm. Jess Sittig: with failure to thrive. So I got kind of Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: obsessive also on like, how much are you eating? And you can't force a baby to eat. It is so yeah, Paige Figueroa: You can't. Jess Sittig: I just I can completely understand. That's why I said obsessive because that's how I felt. Like that's that was my Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: experience. And I love earlier that you were saying that. For the first two years, you really didn't know that you were experiencing postpartum anxiety? Because one of my questions was, was there a moment when you realized that something was off? And then what where did you go from there? Jess - Community Waitlist: Hey, it's Jess. I wanted to pop on and say hi. I hope you're enjoying the episode. Before we get back to it, I wanted to share something really exciting with you. If you've been listening to the Twin Mom Life podcast for a while, you know how passionate I am about helping twin moms feel less alone. And that's exactly why I created the Twin Mom Life Community Membership. I know firsthand how overwhelming twin motherhood can be, and how much it means to connect with other moms who just get it. Whether you're pregnant with twins, in the thick of the newborn stage, or chasing toddlers like I am, you deserve a space where you feel understood, supported, and connected. The Twin Mom Life Community Membership is a place to build those connections with monthly live community calls, a private chat board, and opportunities to get to know other twin moms beyond just listening to the podcast. You'll get a behind-the-scenes look at the podcast, opportunities to submit questions for upcoming guests, and the chance to apply to be a guest yourself. One member will be chosen monthly to share their story on the pod. And guess what? The wait list is officially open. Community membership doors open on October 19th, and for the first week only, you can join at our special founding member price of just $9 a month. The price goes up to $15 a month starting October 26th. So if you've been wanting to connect with other twin moms, get support from people who truly understand this season of life, and be a part of a community built specifically for you, this is your time to join. Head to the link in the show notes to get on the wait list. Joining the wait list is free, and there's no commitment to become a member. I'm so excited about what we're building, and I would absolutely love for you to be a part of it. I can't wait to connect with you inside the Twin Mom Life Community Membership. Check out the link in the show notes to be added to the waitlist today. Okay, back to the show. Paige Figueroa: Yeah. I I don't know if it was a specific moment, but actually even before I realized I was experiencing that level of anxiety. I think the first level of awareness came from the NICU PTSD piece. So I grew up as a swimmer my whole life. I started like competitively swimming when I was four, I think. And so I've always Jess Sittig: Wow. Paige Figueroa: been super I've always been super when I say competitive, I mean like on summer swim team or whatever. But then I swam Jess Sittig: Still Paige Figueroa: throughout college. Yeah. So I've been so comfortable around water my whole life, and the NICU PTSD. I started realizing I was having when the babies like their first year, they'd be in the tub, and it was probably more so when we like they were like one or two, I'm trying to think here, but they would be in the bathtub, and if like one of them like accidentally choked on water or something. E or even if we when we started giving them the sippy cups, you know, switching from the bottle to a sippy cup. If they drank out of the sippy cup and they would start choking, my reaction inside of my body was so intense and extreme of like, my gosh, my baby's not breathing, they're gonna die Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: and Again, when they're in the bathtub choking on water, I I was a lifeguard even. Like I know, you know, babies are gonna do that. Like it's okay, like you have to be vigilant and stuff. but I was like, this is weird. And even when they were three years old and I would start taking them to the pool and they'd be in the baby pool and they would fall and like start choking out, was just having such a visceral reaction in my body. And then I would watch other parents with their babies at the pool and they're like, you're fine, like get up, it's okay. And I'm like, Okay, something like That's how I should be re like you you know, you should be cautious, of course, with your babies around water or like, you know, vigilant when they're learning how to to drink out of a cup or something. But like I was watching these other parents deal with the same situations and I was like, they're not feeling what I'm feeling. Like something is happening inside of me. And it would bring me back to those NICU, like even though the situation was different, it would bring me back to like moments of the NICU where I'm holding this tiny like four or five pound baby trying to feed them a bottle, specifically my son, and he would start choking and his body would kind of go like a little limp for a second or two and then I'd watch the screen and his heart rate would drop. And I'm like, even though this scenario with the drinking the water and being in the bathtub is different, I'm my body is acting as though I'm in that moment watching him like have this like Brady Cardia event from the NICU. And I was like, okay. I sh I started Googling and I like, like NICU PTSD is a real thing. And then I was like going down a rabbit hole and I'm like, I maybe I have postpartum anxiety too. And so eventually I started working with a therapist who happened to also be a twin mom herself, which is not even listed Jess Sittig: cool. Paige Figueroa: in her description. Like it was by like the fate of God, I feel like, that I was guided to her. and she just really helped me work through like, yeah, like these things that I was experiencing are like, you know, a result of the experiences I was thrown into, but also this is NICU, PTSD, this is post-partum anxiety, like this is what you were experiencing and I just didn't in the first year and a half or so I just didn't have the language to put around that or even the awareness to kind of like step back from what I'm experiencing and reflecting on whether or not that's something that's supposed to be part of the experience of parenthood or if this is like an additional challenge that I'm not like understanding in the moment. Jess Sittig: Think that's such a key piece is like having a name to what you are experiencing. So I've Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: been fairly open on the podcast about having postpartum depression with my daughter. And it was it was pretty severe. And I literally in my head would be like, Why am I having these thoughts? Why am I feeling like this? I'm I'm a terrible mom. I'm a terrible person. That's where. That's where my brain would go because I didn't understand. It was the same thing. I didn't, I don't know when that moment happened that I realized I needed help and that how I was feeling wasn't normal. But for a very long time, I just was like, I'm a terrible mom because I didn't understand that not I knew that what I was experiencing wasn't normal, but I didn't know what to call it, what Paige Figueroa: What it was. Jess Sittig: it was. And I feel like having being able to say, I'm experiencing. postpartum anxiety or NICU PTSD and having a name and then being able to kind of move forward after that. I think probably that in an in and of itself can be a bit healing to understand what you're going through. Paige Figueroa: It it really does 'cause it it's like It just gives you a sense of validation in a way because when I feel like when there's a name to something, it's because there has been someone else who has experienced what Jess Sittig: Yes. Paige Figueroa: this is enough so much that like there is like a name attached to it. And so yeah, it was like having that awareness after was so helpful and I I love, you know, seeing people like you like be so open and honest about your perspective because I think it's helpful for so long. I feel like I I'm I don't remember my own mom talking about her mental. Mental health, even though I know that she over time as an adult now I know she experienced different degrees of like struggles with mental health, but I feel like it's not something that like previous generations of mothers talked about or even had a platform really to talk about or felt safe talking about. And so I feel like your podcast and like other people who are so honest and open about sharing their experience are so important because it makes people who are dealing with something similar feel less alone and like okay like I'm I'm not there's not something wrong with me and like there's help out there and I'm not the only one dealing with this. So yeah. Jess Sittig: I think that's the biggest thing for me. I think I suffered quietly for a while because I was afraid. I didn't really know what to do. Like you said, I hadn't really talked to a lot of other moms that had been open about their experience. Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: So I didn't want to bring it up and then then be like, Well, you're crazy, because that's how I felt inside. And if I could go back, I wish that I would have gotten help a lot earlier because I feel like I had I suffered through and I really didn't enjoy motherhood with my daughter in the beginning. And it isn't necessarily like easy for me to talk about it. And it's very hard for me to talk about the specifics. But if it can help Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: one mom maybe realize that she needs to reach out to someone and get help, then then it's worth opening up about it. So Paige Figueroa: Yeah, no, I completely agree. And the other thing I will say that you made me think of when you were sharing that is there was this sense of isolation before I was even realizing what was going on because I felt like as you were saying you you didn't you were worried what people would say to you. For me it was just like a sense of nobody understands what I'm dealing with right now. Like Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: I f I could see my when my parents would come to visit, I could see that they were trying to help me and stuff, but like they weren't trained on using the feeding tubes and like they They they don't have twins themselves. Like there were so many layers of my experience that I just felt like other than my husband, like I just felt like nobody could understand. And I'm like, it it makes you feel so lonely in the moment. so I agree. I wish I would have I wish I would have started seeing a therapist when I was in during my pregnancy. And I remember even filling out they make you fill out all the forms in the hospital of whatever, you know, like the the screenings to see about your mental health, but on paper I wasn't struggling with. With anything that like made it seem like I should be seeing a therapist at the time. But looking back, I'm like, I absolutely should have been seeing a therapist, whether I checked those boxes on the paper or not, because I I don't know, I wish every twin parent would see a therapist just for like safety insurances and like knowing that you're not alone and that you have someone to go to and talk to through this wild roller coaster that you're on. Jess Sittig: Well, and you know it made a really big difference to me. So I I was so scared I was going to have postpartum depression with my sons and worse because I've heard that with the hormonal shifts with twins that depression can be Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: more extreme. I I didn't with my sons. I I had some some postpartum rage that I kind of had to work through. But Paige Figueroa: the rage. Jess Sittig: yeah, I wasn't expecting that at all. But one thing that made a huge difference. So with my daughter, I filled out the form. I'm pretty sure I lied. She also was a COVID Paige Figueroa: Mm. Jess Sittig: baby. So like they just like if you weren't sick, then they didn't want to see you. It, you know, like a lot Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: of things that were, what's the word I'm looking for? Like non-emergent, non-emergent visits, non-emergent Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: surgeries. There's a word. What's that word? Do you know? Paige Figueroa: Non immigr yeah. I know what you're talking about. I can't think Jess Sittig: You know what I mean? Like Paige Figueroa: of the word yet. Jess Sittig: typical ro routine. Like routine sur routine Paige Figueroa: Routine, there you go. Jess Sittig: surgeries or visits that weren't an emergency were either canceled or they were kind of put off. So I I Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: don't rem I don't remember personally filling out a questionnaire, but I can tell you that the mental space I was in, I probably would have lied, which I please don't lie, but that's probably what I did with my sons. I had a three-week postpartum check and a six-week postpartum check. And I think a three-month postpartum check. At the three-week postpartum check, my doctor sat down with me. She was not there to do a physical exam. She sat down with me and was like, How are you doing? Are you doing okay? my gosh, it I was hysterically crying. I was like, I am fine. I'm Paige Figueroa: My gosh. Jess Sittig: tired. But the fact that you took a little bit of time out of your day to personally ask me makes the biggest difference. Because if I actually was experiencing Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: something, I don't know, maybe you still wouldn't fully open up, but it's a lot different to fill out a piece of paper versus talking to someone in person. You know what I mean? So that really Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: I I wish there was more of that, like the the one-on-one asking those questions in person versus just giving someone a piece of paper to fill out. Paige Figueroa: Yeah. my gosh, that I feel like I would have probably if someone had asked me that during the pregnancy or I don't even think I filled anything out after having the babies. That would have been so helpful to just know that somebody actually I feel like in our culture it's like everybody's so worried about the babies and like obviously we want to be worried about them, but it's like, what about the moms? Like Jess Sittig: Yes. Paige Figueroa: we literally we're going through hormonal shifts where, you know, our bodies are being cut open or ripped open as they come out and like we're also going through identity changes and all these things and it's like Who's checking on us? I I would have probably hysterically cried too. And when you were mentioning the rage, I feel like that's another piece that multiples parents face because the sleep deprivation for me, the rage came. I don't think that was connected to my anxiety in any way. It was just a lack of sleep. Like I was going back to work once the kids were six months old. I would have rage because I was operating on like three hours of sleep trying to whole have like a full-time job and then I'd come home and like when the kids wouldn't go to sleep right away I could feel myself getting amped up inside because I literally my nervous system is feeling like it's under attack because it knows it's not gonna get sleep again for whatever night in a row and it's like it pulls this like rage out of you that I didn't even know that I was capable of and I'm like also Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Paige Figueroa: it makes you feel bad because you're like I'm a terrible mother. Why do I feel such rage directly At my own children. And it's like, because my actual like, if you think of like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, like that bottom need of getting enough sleep has been so ignored for like week after week and month after month. so yeah, if someone had asked me, even at like eight months of twin parenthood, how are you doing, I'd have been like Not good. I don't and I don't even know if I would have been able to say that, but like looking back, I'm like, no, I needed help. So Jess Sittig: I think that's the key thing too. I think in those I'm I'm air quoting here, like the six weeks that Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: you're postpartum, that's where maybe you're checked in on a lot. And I Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: think this might be even more so for twin parents. It's like if you are a support person listening to this, you should keep checking in on moms. I would say forever. Like, and Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: especially that first year to two postpartum. That like you need more support than we all need more support than we're given. And yeah. Paige Figueroa: We yeah. We really do and and I think the support people need help too. Like my husband was struggling a lot too, I think with the I I he wouldn't admit this but with the anxiety, but like I feel like because I was struggling so much, he felt like he was trying to and I don't even know if I was letting him know that I was struggling so much in the moment 'cause again this was like two years into it that I even realized I needed help. but like he you know, he's also managing a full time job also not sleeping at night from the twins and then like trying to make sure that I'm okay and like they they need help too but like yeah also as support people I just feel like there needs to be more education for parents in general of like this is what you could be experiencing and like this is definitely grounds for seeking professional support. So Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. okay, so I know that you did, like you were mentioning, go to therapy. So can you talk about Paige Figueroa: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: what that looked like for you? Paige Figueroa: Yeah, so I I I typed into Google just like I don't even remember what I typed, therapist for moms or something. And I think Momwell came up, I think, and I tried to schedule something through them and I didn't do like a final confirmation step, so my c appointment ended up being canceled. And then I Jess Sittig: Hm. Paige Figueroa: was like a week or two later, I was like, okay, I'm gonna take a second stab at this. I start Googling, I find some people on psychology.com or something that are in my state. And I found this lady after a few scrolls. I sent her a message explained, you know, I'm struggling with identity shifts, because at that point Years I had left my teaching job and started my first business, and then I was also still struggling with anxiety of identity shifts of being the NICU PTSD of like just being a twin mom, and I was explaining that. And then she literally emailed me back like an hour later and was like, my gosh, I'm actually a twin mom too, and I would love to work with you. And like we had like a phone call just to like make sure we were a good fit a day or two later, and then I started going twice a month just because, like, at the time, I weekly might have been how. But at that point in time I it wasn't like do or die. It was just like I didn't feel like I was and I actually remember explaining this to my friends at one point because I feel like in my friend group, nobody would have been like, like Paige would be a person that would ever need to seek like mental support or something. That's just kind of like what I was experiencing. So I remember telling them I'm gonna be going to a therapist and I was like it's not because I feel like I'm at rock bottom. It's just like I know that I can feel better about myself Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: and about life and I want help. I want someone to support me with that. and so I was seeing her twice a week or sorry, twice a month and just literally having that retainer and like a safe space to talk through what I was experiencing. Just so happened that she was a twin parent too, and like she could just understand Jess Sittig: I love that. Paige Figueroa: what I was going through on a different level. And it just made me feel so seen and to be able to have someone with like, you know, like professional tools and like a professional ex you know, perspective to like talk through, okay, like this is the way that you're thinking about this, this is why this is not helpful for you. And like here are some ways that you can help yourself see this differently and like what you can do to support yourself on a more frequent basis too. So once I started seeing her, that was like October 2024, I feel like. so it's been almost two years now that I've been in therapy and it has been so helpful to have that space to talk through everything with. Jess Sittig: Love that. And I know you were mentioning specifically that she does EFT therapy. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Paige Figueroa: Yeah. So actually it's not my therapist that does well, she actually is certified or something in EFT, but I actually that was something that I sought on my own. And so EFT is stands for emotional freedom technique. Another name for it is tapping. I feel like there was like a a movie that came out recently with Jessica Beale. And so it's like, you know, you see people tapping, it's on like acupressure points in your body. And so what I was realizing as a new mom I was this like highly goal driven person my entire life. And when I became a mom, I was struggling outside of the regular anxiety of just like early motherhood, I was struggling a ton with like the identity shift of also leaving this career that I had for almost a decade and then like being an entrepreneur, being responsible for like creating my own income out of thin air. and also like sort of like n I wasn't ever officially a stay-at-home mom, but I was at home a lot more and so I felt like I had the identity of a stay-at-home mom a little bit too. So I really struggled with the identity shifts with that and I found tapping online through some YouTube videos and it had I started I think I started it or found it maybe a year and a half, two years into motherhood. And I was using it for business purposes at first, but I was like, this is so helpful. So basically the idea of tapping is You you're you're like tapping on these acupressure points of your body while also like saying things to yourself out loud. And what I like to describe it as is like in therapy, you know how you have like the different parts of yourself, or like they do like parts work. So you have like these different parts of yourself, you know, you you're like five-year-old self and things like that. And so it helped me almost like talk directly to these parts of myself that were coming up and feeling this anxiety and a Allowing me to like validate like yes, this is the way that I feel right now, but then also like continuing through the tapping sequence of like helping me reframe the way that I'm viewing a particular situation to come to a place where I feel more empowered and where I'm also kind of what's the word? You kind of take the legs out of the feelings a little bit, you're neutralizing them. That's what I'm looking for. Helps you like neutralize the. sense of anxiety or whatever it is. So I started watching these tapping videos and would do you can do tapping on your own. You could do it through like guided videos. There's lots of people out there who do it. And so it's just something that I have done for myself. Now I actually I want to become certified as an EFT practitioner because I want to use it. I'm one of my other businesses now is a business and mindset coach because I dealt with so many anxious yeah identity shifts with motherhood. And becoming an entrepreneur, and I was like, this feels like what I'm meant to do now. I'm meant to help other moms and women with this like identity piece of entrepreneurship. And so I want to become certified as an EFT practitioner. But I'm like, I think every single twin parent needs tapping in their life because gosh, if I could go back now, I would be tapping on like pump, like even pumping. Like I'm Jess Sittig: Hm. Paige Figueroa: pumping enough bre like I what I am doing is enough. Like I have done Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: enough today. I have literally created milk from my body to give to my babies to nourish them. Like I am an amazing human being. Like I would have done all sorts of tapping sequences if I could go back and help myself at that time in my life. So I would love to create like a I don't know, like a library of like tapping videos for twin parents down the road because I just feel like we deal with so many every parent I feel like deals with so many stressors, but like with the identity shifts. But I feel like parents of multiples may you know tend to have them at a more extreme level and so I'm like if there could just be like this like library where they could go to you know tap on feeling like what you're doing is enough or I don't know I just tapping has been immensely helpful for me and I think that everybody should go out and Google what it is and try it out on yourself to see how it helps you. But I found that to be something helpful because with me I was only going to my therapist twice a month. I found that that was something that I could just do you know like people meditate or they do like breathing exercise. I found that tapping for me is something that I do, I don't do it every day, but I do it a couple times a week, and it really helps me neutralize some of the anxious feelings that I'm experiencing, and then kind of like just reframe my perspective. It's kind of like if you do any sort of like thought work, you know, where you identify, okay, this is the story that I'm telling myself. It's not true and it's not helpful. So, like, what actually is true in this situation, and how can I think about This in a more empowering way, instead of having this like inner critic that's constantly like, you're not doing enough, and like, you're a terrible mother, or whatever the story is that's operating in your subconscious mind. So tapping for me has been a way where I can calm my nervous system, access my subconscious mind, and really just like rewire it so that it's telling me things that are helpful instead of like being mean and like telling me I'm not doing enough. Jess Sittig: Love that. I've heard a lot about tapping, and I'm genuinely interested and curious. So I will be checking Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: that out. And I I love that you were talking about building a library for twin moms or twin parents of tapping, because earlier you were talking about ambition and how your ambition and like Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: your purpose changes as you become a mom. And it sounds like you have a Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: lot of awesome businesses, and you are also a fellow podcaster. So can you tell us about your Paige Figueroa: Yes. Jess Sittig: businesses and your podcast? Paige Figueroa: Yeah, so long story short, my first business which I still run that like allowed me to leave my teaching job and like make enough income that we could still pay for our mortgage and all of our bills and not like losing a a second income is a freelance copywriting business. So I work with like a fertility agency or a fertility company. I do like SEO articles. I work with an email marketing agency. I've worked with a brand agency. I do some work for Twiniversity even. And so I have all sorts of clients that I have like a steady income from. At one point I was also running a college admission essay coaching coaching business. seasonally. I actually just let that one go because I'm like I cannot do this too. But as of last year, maybe a little bit before that, I officially started becoming a a a business and mindset coach for mom. So I did like a whole year-long certification program to become a business coach. And so The reason I wanted to do that as I was feeling like all of the business programs that I was taking, none of them were run by someone who was a mom or even a pair like they may have started a business, but it was like after their kids were already grown or they didn't have they started their business before they had kids and then they were like they were already successful before they had the kids. So for me I was finding that a lot of this advice out there, it was like, okay, that's good advice, but like what about for the mom who's trying to do this while she's still working a full time job or like What about the mom who's trying to start this business and she's also with her kids all day and like she only her capacity is only you know this wide, right? And so what I was finding was a lot of that advice, it just felt like it wasn't landing for me. And it I was also like, I'm I'm already doing so much. I need someone to tell me that what I'm doing is enough. So my business and mindset coaching is meant to not only just like help people figure out like how could they start a business or how could they grow their business, it's all about Like, how can you actually do this as a mom and a parent? And not only that, but how can you do it in a way that feels good for you? Like, you don't feel like I one point in my second year of business, I felt like I was becoming my own worst boss because I Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: was like, I had all these old patterns that I was operating from. So even though on paper I had more freedom and flexibility, I didn't because I was still doing things as though like I had to do it in such a such way, and I had like toxic productivity, and so I I started my podcast, which is called the Mom Boss Freedom Podcast, to just really kind of educate and educate from like my own personal experience so that again people don't feel like they're alone in entrepreneurial life as a mom. And it it's just really sharing Honest insights about like how you can have a more empowering experience of owning a business, starting a business, growing a business while also being a mother. And I also share inspiring stories. I do interviews like you do. So I do tons of interviews with other moms who are running their business or starting their business. So that you know, I want people to see these other incredible women and if they're so honest too, like they're not just saying, like, I started the business and everything was great. Like they're giving like real Real honest perspectives of like this is the business that I run and like this is how it's going and this is this is just the reality of it because I feel like people tell you things and spaces just to kind of like reel you in, but like I feel like people should understand what it's actually like being a a mom and a human and also like doing this cool thing as a business or as a side hustle that you really love and that you're passionate about. So yeah. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. all of those resources sound fantastic. And I love when someone sees a gap in the market and you're like, that resource needs to exist. Because I agree. Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: I feel like I have seen some recommendations where I'm like, not that I don't respect your advice because you're not a mom, but our lives are very Paige Figueroa: Right. Jess Sittig: different. And what you do if you don't have kids, it looks probably like our evenings and our like our days look completely different. So you have Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: to get creative with that. So well thank you for sharing all Paige Figueroa: Yeah. Jess Sittig: of that. I know we are short on time, but I have to ask my final question of Paige Figueroa: Sure. Jess Sittig: if you could have a heart to heart with a twin mom or give her a piece of advice, what would you tell her? Paige Figueroa: I would tell her to amp up the self love and like Jess Sittig: Hm. Paige Figueroa: we were saying before, it's not like a like a performative self-care thing like go to the spa or go whatever. I mean sure, if you wanna buy yourself flowers or something and that's your self-love thing, do that. Buying myself flowers is another one, but it's just like really I was even doing this to myself the other day 'cause I was going there was like a something that we were coming up against that I was falling back into a pattern. Of being really hard on myself, and it's like, no, what you are doing enough, like I promise anybody listening to this podcast, whatever you're experiencing right now, like you are doing enough, like you are an incredible human. And like, I just think if we all really took the time to do the work of self-love, because it is work, it's been kind of like conditioned out of us, I feel like. If we are if we really commit to doing self-love practices, meditating, doing thought work, going. to therapy, doing tapping, EFT videos like I just feel like our our individual world will feel so different and it allows you to access so much more peace and joy. But like I feel like if we each do that, like collectively, there will be so much more self-love because Jess Sittig: Hm. Paige Figueroa: I feel like our our world is really just a reflection of how we all feel about ourselves. And so when the more of us feel healed and the more of us actually love ourselves, like that has no choice but to expand outside of ourselves too. So yes. So Jess Sittig: Mm. Paige Figueroa: love yourself. Love yourself more, like you're doing enough. You're doing an incredible job as you are. Jess Sittig: Mm. That's so good. I really love that. Well, thank you so much for your time and just a ma such an amazing chat. I really appreciated all of it. Paige Figueroa: Course, thank you so much for having me, Jess, and I love your podcast too. I think what you're doing is amazing and it's exciting to just like hear real perspectives from other twin parents because it's definitely a unique experience for sure. Jess Sittig: That's so true. Well, thank you. Jess: This episode was brought to you by Thrive Market. It was a crisp, 60-degree morning here in Central Texas. And you know what that means? It's time for a fall refresh. Pumpkin spice and crisp apple flavors? Yes please. As a mom of three littles, I'm always trying to find ways to make life easier and bring in the holiday fun. I've been using Thrive Market for several months now and I love it. They carry all of my favorite organic brands. I don't feel guilty giving my kids. For my fall refresh, I ordered Yum Earth's Halloween candies and Simple Mills Cinnamon Swirl Muffin Mix. Thrive Market doesn't just sell food. In this month's box, I also ordered fall-sented hand soap from Everyone's Soap in Sweet Cinnamon and Vanilla Scent. Now is a great time to join as their sales stack with my discount. Their twenty-five percent off bars, snacks, and sips sale is live now through October seventeenth, And they have a 25% off fall routine refresh from October 20th through the 22nd. Check out the link in my show notes to get $30 off your first two orders, plus a free gift when you use the link in my show notes. Jessielee Sittig: Thank you for taking the time out of your busy twin mom life to listen along. I hope this podcast shed some light on a topic that's been on your heart and gave you more confidence as a twin mama. If you know a twin mom, please send this her way. If you like what you heard today, please subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. Check out the show notes to be connected with today's guest and get discount codes for brands I love. See you next Thursday. Until then. You are made for this.