Latest / The Rooted Woman Podcast / The Rooted Woman: Episode 6: Rooted in Identity

Transcript

The Rooted Woman: Episode 6: Rooted in Identity · The Rooted Woman Podcast

• Courtney: Hello and welcome back to the Mission for More podcast. I'm your host, Courtney, the face behind her mind on Mission on social media. And we are currently in the Rooted Woman Audio series. Today is episode six. We've been talking a lot about healing and just like the prerequisites to getting where we want to be as rooted woman of the Most High King. Today we're going to be talking about something so important. It's rooted in identity, becoming who God already says. that you are. I love talking I about identity. I love going back to our roots within our identity and really exploring scripture, exploring ⁓ just the things that the world says and how we can sift between the two. So let's just dive right in. So we've talked about this healing. We've talked about the way that we respond and the way that we react. And I I talk about those things before I talk about identity for a reason because if you do not recognize these things in yourself, it's going to be hard to figure out your identity and w and where your identity has been rooted in the wrong places. And I think when you have an awareness of that and then you recognize the things that the Lord is trying to uproot, and then we can talk about rooting our identity in him. It is that much easier to be like, okay, this response, old way. This response, new way. This is what God's calling me to. This other response because of an old wound. I'm working out of that. And it's so much easier to sift through versus feeling like I know that I'm supposed to be, you know, rooted in my identity in Christ, but I just can't seem to get there because of these responses. So hopefully the way that I'm working through this has been helpful for you to identify it all and then to move past that old version of yourself, the old responses that you are so used to. ⁓ responding with in the way that you used to perceive situations because I love in Galatians 2 20 it says, I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. In the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. And when we truly recognize that and we recognize the responses that do not sound so Christ like and we can kind of sift through where they're stemming from, why we respond that way. God, I need healing in this area. Man, we can step into so much more that God has for us. And so many times we spend our lives as women trying to prove ourselves. Trying to be enough. Many times the the big lie that women struggle with is that I am not enough. And that's like, yeah, you're not supposed to be enough. You're not supposed to be enough for your husband. You're not supposed to be enough as a friend. You're not supposed to be enough as a wife. You and a mother. And you are not supposed to be enough in any one role that you live in because there's always supposed to be room for the Lord. And there's always supposed to be room for all of us together in community to have our different gift sets and our talents and the things that the Lord has. Called each of us to individually so that we can work together as the body of Christ. And of course, we need to have other people in their lives recognize their identity in Christ to be able to do these things to the fullness of his glory. But it is so important that we ourselves recognize it in us and recognize that I it's okay that I'm not enough. There's no shame in me not being enough because the gospel invites me to become enough in him. And like, hey, my identity in Christ is enough for me. I don't need to have all these I don't need people to tell me that. That they're satisfied with my work, that they they're so proud of me. I don't need those things when I am so secure in Christ, when I know that I'm already loved, that I'm already chosen, and that I am already enough for him just as his daughter. And I don't have to strive in every other area of my life when I start living from that place of identity. And I've shared so much of my personal story throughout all of this, and not in detail, but just the things that I've struggled with and the things that I've worked out of. And you know, I used to struggle with trying to be overproductive. I used to struggle with my weight and looking, I mean, every single time I used to look in the mirror, this was before I started dating my husband, I would look in the mirror and I would be like, You're disgusting. Like I would literally say things like that to myself. And when my husband pointed out to me, like when you talk about yourself like that, when you look at yourself and you think those things, does it ever like occur to you that that you are not recognizing the way that God made you to be, that you're not recognizing the beauty in you that God has given you and and all that. And it just really made me realize like I am putting down the the creation of the creator. And I need to start speaking highly of myself. That doesn't mean overeat all the time and be, you know, 150 pounds overweight, but that also doesn't mean shaming myself to try to get to a place that I think that I need to be. Recognizing that changed my life as far as my weight and my health goes. ⁓ thinking about like jumping into ministry, jumping into motherhood, being the reliable one. Like in every single area of my life, I would shame myself for not being enough. And that is what led me to the place of burnout. And I talk often about knowing that place well. It is because I literally lived there. I lived in the place of burnout. I lived in the place of exhaustion. My responses were horrible. I would overreact to so many things because I was always on edge because I was always doing too much. or expecting way too much of myself within the roles that I was living in. Here's the really interesting thing. I always felt like these two parallels. Like I was one decision, one yes, one step away from complete and utter failure and burnout. While also feeling like, okay, this next yes might be the one accomplishment that is going to make me finally feel secure. And when you're living in that middle ground, the tug and the pull because your identity is rooted in so many other things. Is completely not just exhausting, it is crippling. And that's where I was. And the problem wasn't really that I needed to do more. It's that I needed to rest more in the Lord and remember that I belong to Him first and foremost. And if I would just live up to the things that He was calling me to and set everything else to the side, and doesn't mean to say no to everything and just be like Okay, I'm gonna live in my house and open my Bible 24-7 and be on my knees praying and worshiping, and that's the only thing I'm gonna do. That's not what I'm saying. But when we find ourselves in that place first and everything else overflows from that, it is so much easier to do the things that God is calling us to do without that feeling of like teeter-tottering on the edge of burnout or or striving. And I think probably a lot of people in different roles in different ⁓ seasons of life can resonate with this because so many women struggle with an identity crisis. And I pray this over even my daughters. Like I don't want them to struggle with their identity. One prayer that I pray almost every single night is that they remember that they are loved, that they are chosen, that they were were such a gift to our family, that they're an answered prayer and that their identity first comes as a daughter of the most high king before anything else. ⁓ because I want that to be so ingrained in them and so rooted in them that they're not questioning as they continue to get older and and jump into different roles and different responsibilities that they might take on. But I think so many women, we do that. And that's why we have the identity crisis and that's why we're trying to be like the best mom, the Pinterest worthy mom. And there are things like for me in homeschool. I love a good bulletin board. I love a good craft. Do I craft every single day? No. Do I want to film every part of my homeschool? No. That is just not who I am. That's not where I'm at. But I love to make our bulletin boards fun. And I theme pretty much every single week of our homeschool has a theme because I love a good theme. I love the cheesiness of it all. I love to see my kids' reactions when I change things up. And I love to keep them interested and excited. And it's just something that I I hope doesn't fade as they get older. Like I hope they look back and they love it and that they partake in it. And that I mean, my oldest already has the one day. She was like, I planned everything for this week. And ⁓ she did like digging into God's word. And it's just so cool to see her interested in the things that I'm interested in. But if I try to be that Pinterest worthy mom for our dinners, ⁓ my goodness, no way. It would burn me out. I am not good in the kitchen. I I'm okay. I'm not burning every single meal. I'm making a lot of things that have whole food ingredients in it and I love that for our family. But I'm not making these like Pinterest worthy dinners every single night. I'm not, you know, doing a complete like baby lead weaning, transitioning into toddler whole foods. Like that's just not where we're at. And I'm okay with that. And if I were to struggle with my identity so much that I needed to live up to the identity of a Pinterest mom, I would try to replicate what I so love doing in homeschool in every other area of my life. And that would completely burn me out. It would completely burn me out. We do this sometimes with you know, even in ministry as a wife, ⁓ with our income in our finances. In the beginning of our marriage, I was so dead set on paying off our debt, which is not a bad thing, but I let my identity become paying off the debt. I mean, my husband would be like Okay, I was planning on getting a new fishing pole for this fishing trip. I'm like, new fishing pool? What do you mean a new fishing pool? You have five fishing pools in the garage. What do we need to spend money on that for? We're paying off debt. Like there was no wiggle room for fun. My I was so rooted in it and I was so idolizing it. And I think that's the thing that we need to think about. Are we rooted in our identity and having fun in these other areas or stewarding what God gave us well or living up to the things that He's calling us to do, being sensitive to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, or are we? rooting ourselves so deeply in this thing that we think that we need to become that we want to build our identity on it and we're starting to idolize it. We idolize being busy. We idolize being productive. There are people who I will talk I will be like, hey, how's it going? ⁓ my goodness, just so busy. And then like listing off every single thing that they're doing. I'm like, good, but like how are you? Like I don't care about what you're doing. I care about how you are doing. I want to hear about you. there are people who, you know, are so focused on their appearance and it's like cute outfit, but like how are you? Like how are you? You know, I I love when people can put things together like that, but when it becomes their whole identity, when they rely on it, when they idolize it, it's it makes me so sad because I'm like, I just wanna get to your heart. I just want to connect with you. I want to know how you're truly doing. I don't like surface level stuff. I want to know like what what do you need prayer for? You know? And so that's why I asked the question, like, who are you when nobody needs anything from you? That came from the last episode. If you haven't tuned in, go back to that. ⁓ but just truly asking yourself, like, who am I when my kids don't need me? Who am I when the scale doesn't move? Who am I when nobody notices my work? Who am I when I'm not busy? Who am I when life feels just ordinary and mundane? Who are you in those seasons? Because if that version of you is not the same as the other versions of you. Are you really living in your identity as a a Christian woman or are you living up to an identity of the things that you're doing or producing in that d in that season? ⁓ those are just really good questions. There's no shame in it at all. And I'm also not saying like, hey, if you love to put together a good outfit that you're idolizing it. Because again, I love putting together themed homeschool weeks, but it I'm not idolizing it. That's just something I love doing. It brings me joy. I love pulling my kids into it. But if I were to try to be like Pinterest level mother in every area of my life the way that I enjoy doing homeschool. That would be idolizing it. That would be forcing myself into this place of striving because that that's just not who I am in every other area. I think when you go back and you reflect on those questions and your answers on those, ⁓ something that I want to speak to that area about is just that you're not having to earn your identity. As a Christian woman, you don't have to earn your identity. You don't have to earn being a Pinterest mom. You don't have to earn being the busiest person. You don't have to earn being called upon the one that says yes to everything. Your identity cannot be earned as a Christian woman. Your identity is just a daughter of the most high king and everything else is added. It's extra. And it's great when we get to do things that the Lord is calling us to step into. And it's awesome when we see the fruit of that obedience. But I think the world also tells us like if you achieve, then you'll be enough. And if you perform, then you will be valuable. And if you can prove yourself, then you will be long. Maybe it's with friends, maybe it's just in a in a workplace setting. But when we look at the gospel, before you produce fruit and before you lead and before you serve and before you succeed, God says that you are chosen and He calls you. a daughter and he wants to redeem things in your life he has already forgiven you of and listen he loves you just as you are before you say yes before you go and do before you fill up the schedule before you are a mother he loves you as you And I think we have to receive our identity. And some of us struggle with that because of past hurt and wounds in our lives and go back to further our previous episodes to kind of lean into that a little bit deeper. But you have to ask yourself, am I at a place of being able to receive this identity that the Lord has for me or am I trying to achieve it by the things that I'm doing? And in works are good. But if we are only focusing on our works as a way of salvation, if we think that it's somehow like tied together, the more I do, the more I'm saved. Or the more I do, the more the Lord will love me. No, we need to get rid of that way of thinking. And really go back to the biblical thing of being rooted and grounded in love and not striving for our worth, but really receiving what God has for us and that He's already called us chosen. And when we ⁓ when we cling to that, it's like a game changer. It literally will change your life because you're not going to stress and you're not going to strive, and you are going to pray about the decisions that you're making, and you're going to see a huge difference in in the way that you approach. your responsibilities and the way that you approach your roles. And I think when you don't do it that way, there's a cost. There is a cost and you have to reflect and ask yourself, is it worth the price that I'm paying? The cost of identity built on performance is constantly feeling like you're left behind. No achievement will ever feel like enough. And I shared how I was there before. I was there before. Rest felt uncomfortable to me. I was like, again, I've said this in previous episodes, but My motto was an object in motion stays in motion. If I can keep moving and keep doing, then I'll be good. Because once I rest, I feel guilty and it's hard to get out of it because I felt ashamed when I was resting. Ugh, gross. Like we're called to rest. And it was liter literally causing me to feel shame. That is something that needs to be dealt with because my that was costing me so much by building my identity and performance. if you only feel valuable, you know, like when you are producing something, when you're saying saying yes when you are serving somewhere, then you have to focus on that. You have to bring that to the Lord. If somebody's criticism absolutely destroys you and you feel like you're completely a failure and again you slip into the shame mentality, that's because your identity is attached to the to your performance. Maybe you struggle with comparison. I talked about like the Pinterest mom. We can struggle with looking at what other people are doing and feeling like we need to do that. But if that's not in your wheelhouse and you don't feel convicted about doing that, then why are we striving to do what somebody else is doing? They're in a different lane, a different season, and they're a different person. And maybe God has called them to different things. Comparison will consume you. Someone else's success will feel like your failure the second that you see them succeed. Ugh Ugh It's the worst. It is the worst. I've been there before, and I don't want that for you. That is the cost of Identity built on performance. And then even when we talk about spiritually, when you feel spiritually exhausted, it's because you're trying to earn what Jesus has already secured for you. He went up there on that cross to secure your identity for you. That you didn't have to earn your way into it, that you don't have to do all these things and work your way into being like the best child of the most high king. Like there is no best, okay? You don't need to be the best at it. You just need to be. And you need to be okay with just being. And if you're not, then you need to sit with the Lord and ask him, God, how do I get to that place? Cause I'm done stressing, I'm done striving, I'm done living on high alert that causes me to respond in these ways that I don't want to respond in because I have no margin for rest and I don't know how to stop. And when I do, I feel ashamed. If that's you, sit with him, leave it at the foot of the cross and ask him how to move forward out of it. Because only God can show you. I can give you tools, I can highlight things that will bring it to the surface. But only God can show you what you need for you. Let the Lord do that work. It's so beautiful when he does it, because then you know it's only God. It's not by the words of somebody else. It's this intimate relationship that you are building with him. You're leaning into him. And when you walk in that, ⁓ it is just the best feeling ever because you know that it truly is him. And you don't have to sit there and question it or listen to the lies when the enemy tries to question it in your head. ⁓ and it just really like solidifies that that intimacy that you can build with the Lord between you and him only. So how do you become rooted in What God says about you. How do you become rooted in your identity in him? ⁓ I love going back to Ephesians two ten is always a good reminder for me. Like we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. If it is from the Lord, he has prepared it beforehand, we will walk in them. We we are his workmanship, you know, we will see the fruit of it. If it comes with stressing, striving, worry, doubt, fear, isolation, ⁓ complete burnout, that is not from the From the Lord. That is not from the Lord and we need to surrender that and ask God, what do I need to set down and what are you calling me to pick up instead? And how do I walk in the good works that you have planned out beforehand for me? And that simple prayer alone had had been a turning and pivotal point in my life because I realized that I was giving my yes in areas where I shouldn't have, because I was just so afraid of letting God down because I I knew that for so long I was walking in a way that wasn't pleasing to him. And I all I wanted to do was please him. And we can get it's Not a bad thing. Like we can get in that place from a good heart posture, but it's this the wrong perception of the Lord that will keep us there. I was perceiving the Lord as like, okay, He'll only be pleased with me if I like outwork the bad things that I've ever done. And if I do more than the bad things that I've ever done, then maybe I will be accepted. It's like, no, girl, you're already accepted. Will you slow down and chill out and just work on your relationship with him? Because that's where the good fruit is going to come from. So let's kind of walk through some common lies and then truth that you can speak over yourself instead of listening to that lie, because that is going to help you to overcome those lies that maybe you feel or the enemy whispers or someone has spoken over you. So, number one, I am what I accomplish. That is the lie. The truth is that you are God's workmanship. You are his workmanship. You are created in his image. Remind yourself of that. I will go and do the things that the Lord has called me to do, but I am not what I accomplish. Even if I start something and I don't finish it, maybe all God wanted me to do was start this thing. And then the next person comes in and they finish it. Remember what I said about gift sets. We all work together as the body of Christ. Maybe you were not called to start and implement and finish every single project, and that's okay. Trust that you are not what you accomplish. You are God's workmanship. And you do what he says and you listen and obey and you lean into that Holy Spirit conviction. And when it's time to walk away, you trust that God's got it. You don't have to see it full full to completion and you are not your accomplishments. that that was a game changer for me. Another lie? Watermelon. So let's go through some common lies that maybe we hear have been spoken over us or that the enemy tries to whisper to us and let's replace it with the truth just as some examples so that you can utilize these if you feel like I'm so far gone, I don't even know how to do this. So one lie, it's a big one that I struggled with is I am what I accomplish. That's the lie, if you were wondering. The truth is I am God's workmanship. I'm God's workmanship. I'm his daughter. I don't have to earn my way into accomplishing being his daughter. I already am. Remind yourself of that. That. A lie is I have to prove my worth. But the truth is Jesus already settled your worth at the cross. God thought that you were so worthy that He sent His Son to die for your sins. That's how worth it you are. So you don't have to prove that. God already proved it through His actions ⁓ towards us. Another lie. I am falling behind. And the truth is God is growing you in his timing. And maybe there are things where you knew you were supposed to say yes to something and you didn't. And that's okay. Repent for that, right? And there are things that maybe you are being a little lazy in, and that's okay. It's okay to to admit that, like, hey, I'm dragging my feet on this thing, or I know that I feel convicted about it and I haven't done this yet. That's okay. You repent and you move forward. But you're not behind because of this comparison ideal self that you have in the back of your mind. If God is growing you in his due timing, let him grow you in his due timing and don't try to force your way out of that. Another lie is I need to watermelon. Another lie is I need everyone to approve of me. You do not need anybody to approve of you. The truth is you already belong to Christ. He approves of you. Obviously, if you're making poor decisions, don't continue to make those decisions. ⁓ but you need to identify one identity lie that you have carried for years and years. And maybe it is the, you know, your worth. You have to prove your worth. Maybe it is ⁓ that you need other people to approve of you. Maybe it is that you need to accomplish so much to be loved or or chosen or a daughter of the most high king even. And I want you to write that down. And I want you to start praying over it and reminding yourself the truth about it because you already belong to Christ. And living in that identity and living from that identity is going to change your life, your responses, your attitude, your perception, the way that you think, the way that you live your life, the way that you act. It is going to change the thought patterns that you have had for years. But you have to be willing to surrender those lies first. And then from there we're gonna do another activity today. I want you to grab a journal and you're gonna call this the identity inventory. And I want you to write down: I have been finding my worth in, fill in the blank. I have been finding my worth in, fill in the blank. It could be weight loss, motherhood, productivity, ⁓ social media, ministry, ⁓ motherhood, being a wife, keeping everybody happy, being busy. I have been finding my worth in, fill in the blank. Then I want you to write, but God says I am fill in the blank. I want you to sit with this. I want you to pray about it. And I want you to list scriptures or identity statements underneath of that statement. Things that you can cling to, things that you can come back to. And the best part, I've been going through some of my old journals and just weeping because the things that I wrote down, the prayers that I prayed, the things that I said I was struggling with, I'm no longer struggling with. And I can see God's hand in all of it. And it's the best way to really look back at the track record of God in your life, to go through those journals and to realize, wow, I was. Crying out to God in this season of my life, asking him to set me free from this thing, or asking him to show me his truth in this area, or asking to no longer find my worth in the things that I was doing. And then in a year or two years or three years or a month or a week, who knows what the Lord is going to do? You're going to go back, read that journal entry, and be like, wow, God has answered my prayers and God has led the way, and He has shown me, and I'm so grateful. And so I want you to write those things down today. ⁓ spend some time in the scriptures, really sift through and and ask God to highlight what. You should write down because that again, if you can tell, I'm encouraging you to really build that intimate relationship with him, to build that connection with him, and to not have to rely on Sunday morning service or prayer time at mom's group or you know, connecting with a friend to get this from the Lord. You can get it from the Lord in your own quiet time, Matthew 6, 6, behind closed doors, as you continue to surrender to him. So as we wrap up today, I'm I want to encourage you, and then I have some additional reflection questions for you to just kind of sit with as we wait for next week's episode. Number one, I want you to know that you don't have to become someone else to be loved by God. So stop comparing yourself. You are right where you need to be. You do not have to earn your place at his table. You do not have to hustle for your significance. The rooted woman will not spend her life trying to prove who she is, okay? And you are a rooted woman. So live in that. You're gonna spend your time becoming who God already says that you are, and you're gonna cling to that. You're gonna sit At his feet, you're gonna pray about it, you're gonna journal it, and you're gonna watch it happen as you continue to surrender to him. And as we reflect, I want you to ask yourself, what have I been using to define my worth? And what identity lie do I return to most often? You should have journaled about those above. What truth from scripture needs to become my new root? So maybe you wrote down four or five scriptures, ask, which one am I going to really cling to? I cling to a couple, but there's a few that I'm like, these are my like two or three things that I go to every single time and they help me get out of the. The pits every single time, every single time that I'm questioning, every single time that I'm struggling, I can go back to those core ⁓ verses and really just say them out loud over myself, pray and surrender to God. And it changes things in the moment because they have become my roots instead of the lies that I was living on before. And then ask yourself, how would my life change if I truly believed I was already loved, chosen, and secure as a daughter of the Most High King? And I want you to journal that because watch how these things that you say that you would. be become who you are as you continue to walk this walk, as you continue to ask God to help you become a rooted woman, and as you continue to cling to your identity in Him. Let's pray. God, I thank you that our identity is not found in what we do, but in whose we are. Lord, we thank you that we are your daughters first and foremost above everything else. And I pray for the woman who is listening today, who has been struggling with that, who has been performing and trying to be perfect and really just feeling shame whenever she rests or whenever she fails or whenever she drops the ball or misses an appointment or she's running late and she's constantly feeling her heartbeat like in her the back of her throat because she's so stressed out and she feels like maybe I'm one decision away from completely and utterly just burning. out and failing or I'm one decision away from like finally finally getting out of this place. But it's not the decisions in what we do, Lord. It's the decisions and just surrendering to you. And so I just pray God that you will help the woman who is listening to surrender to you, Father, to really lay it at your feet, that you will replace the lies with the truth that you have for her, Father, and that she can be so rooted in her identity and you something that doesn't need to be earned, something that was freely given, Father, and that we can just encourage her to walk forward, Lord, in the identity that you have for her. The confidence That you have for her, the gifts and the talents that you have already placed within her, that she becomes so aware of them, that she walks in the calling that you have on her life, that she no longer struggles with the lies and the striving, Lord, and that you will just help her to become free, fully free in Christ Jesus and confident in who you have created her to be, Lord. God, let her cling to your scripture, let it become the new roots, and let the lies be uprooted, God, as she continues to grow closer with you and build that deep and intimacy, ⁓ intimate relationship with you, Father. I just pray, Lord, that you have your hand. hand of protection over her mind, over her body, over her her perception of the world around her. God, and that you just continue to lead and guide her in every step that she takes. In Jesus' name. Amen. Thank you so much for tuning into the Mission for More podcast. I'm so grateful that you are tuning into this audio series. I'm so grateful we are doing this audio ser series, and I am grateful to God for all that He is doing. There is so much coming. We are halfway through this series. ⁓ and when we get to the very end, there's gonna be an announcement coming. So I hope that you will stick with me through it all. ⁓ head to Her Mind on Mission for it watermelon. Thank you so much for tuning into the Mission for More podcast. I'm so grateful that you're here. I'm so grateful that the Lord has led me to do this audio series and I'm grateful that you have been tuning in. I really do pray that it has been transformational in your life and at least ⁓ has called you into that deeper place of reflection with the Lord because so much can be grown there. And I believe that the Lord is trying to grow deeper roots within you, but also produce good fruit in the due season that is coming. So ⁓ I am encouraging you to head to Her Mindon Mission.com. I have a lot of things there that are discounted or free that I want you to grab a Hold of because it is all going to be going away before we know it. ⁓ I'm kind of revamping everything to come under one umbrella. There's some fun and exciting announcements. We are now halfway through the audio series, so six more weeks, and then we will be at some fun and exciting announcements, some amazing things that are coming. Yes, there will be another Holy Habits challenge. Stay tuned. I just can't do it all at once. And right now I'm really grinding it out to do what the Lord is calling me to do. And so that means I'm doing some back end work to prepare for what is launching. And so stay tuned, get excited, follow me on her mind. On mission. I also have consistently.Courtney that I am documenting just more of the weight loss and the behind the scenes of the things that I'm doing within the holy habits that I've been implementing in my life, just so you can see the real raw version of me behind the scenes because I think it's important. ⁓ and I just encourage you to keep tuning in here to see what the Lord is doing. And I can't wait to hear your feedback. Please feel free to share it, screenshot it, ⁓ tag me on your stories, send it to a friend who you think would benefit from listening to the series, and don't forget to leave a comment or review. That would mean so much. Mm-hmm.