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77: Tell Them You Love Me · Wine & Audacity

• 0:08
  M M, but I mean I watched it like I watched him make the
• 0:31
  same mistakes. It's like, yo, you every job that you go to,
• 0:34
  you start talking. You start talking to these start talking to these women.
• 0:37
  You're flirting, like, yo, you you are. You are HR's
• 0:40
  nightmare. Bro. You're flirting with them. You're like, you're flirting with
• 0:44
  them, talking to them any kind of way and ship. And then when
• 0:46
  you get upset or they upset or they they get upset with you, then
• 0:50
  it's like then they report you, and then now you you know, then
• 0:53
  you get fired and then you gotta come home and exclaim why you got fired
• 0:56
  from another job. And it's always somebody. There's always somebody. Fat one
• 1:02
  bitch called the house, see and she called you. She called the house.
• 1:10
  My mother answered the phone. And then she was like she called him
• 1:14
  like my mother told us the story. Like she called him. I was
• 1:15
  like, tell you tell your business is to stop calling out, stop calling
• 1:19
  the house, and she just set it to him, real call, you
• 1:23
  know, and he stopped going off like I don't know what you're talking about.
• 1:27
  By my bo. She's like, just tell your girls stop, you
• 1:30
  know, tell you girls don't call the house, call your cell phone.
• 1:34
  M m m mmmm. But I'm looking at a woman that tried everything,
• 1:40
  that tried everything, and and to the point whereas though she got you know,
• 1:42
  she got tired. And then when she filed for divorce, the nigga
• 1:47
  showed up the court. I showed up the court just on some ship.
• 1:51
  And it was like, yo, he was he was. He was derogatory.
• 1:53
  I mean, you know, he just he was just dismissive to the
• 1:57
  judge, dismissive to everybody trying to talk to him ship, and you know,
• 2:00
  and the judge looked at him, was like, looked at my mother
• 2:04
  and was like, you know, she'll granted because she could see, she
• 2:07
  saw she saw the person that he was. And I'm like, damn,
• 2:09
  bro, because you know, the like judges when you when you go for
• 2:13
  divorce, they be on that ship like yo, you gotta go. They'll
• 2:16
  make you go to counseling. Yeah, they'll make you do six months of
• 2:20
  counseling. Like six months of counseling. And you know, if because if
• 2:23
  both parties don't don't want to sign, like like if if you if seannas
• 2:28
  to serve serve papers and be like, hey, this is it and I
• 2:31
  love you, sister, think God, that never happened true ship because they
• 2:37
  like if anybody, if anybody in hell object objects to it, we love
• 2:43
  you just need I'm sorry, but them like it's about fucking time. Ship,
• 2:53
  y'all, y'all wait so long. I mean, Shawna, we tried
• 2:57
  to have the conversation ship, but truthfully speaking, like Robin told me not
• 3:01
  to not depress it. Some people gotta live their life and make their decisions
• 3:06
  on their own. And it sucks when you when you can see it.
• 3:10
  But you know, love make people do crazy shit. You was trying,
• 3:15
  I mean your mind. You was trying to be a wife. You was
• 3:17
  trying to have your family or you had a son and you had a kid.
• 3:21
  You was what you do y'all, was living together. You was trying
• 3:23
  to make you try to make that shit work. And I appreciate your try.
• 3:27
  I appreciate your try. I don't appreciate not try, no, but
• 3:30
  what but I mean, but at the same time, you know, we
• 3:32
  was also young, like we was young, like we was we was young
• 3:37
  a shit making like you know, making like thirty five year old decisions and
• 3:39
  ship, you know what I'm saying, Like, but just looking back,
• 3:46
  you know, just looking back, just looking back, and then just watching
• 3:49
  like watching my mother, like watch my mother with him, and it's like,
• 3:52
  yeah, I ain't trying. I ain't trying to be that. I
• 3:54
  was like, yo, cause I started. I mean I I started seeing
• 4:00
  him and me, you know, with the flirting and like the flirting and
• 4:03
  shit, I saw I saw him and me, and shit, I'm was
• 4:05
  like, yeah, I'm not trying to not ain't trying to be that or
• 4:09
  be on the be on the other side of that ship. I'm I'm I'm
• 4:13
  good. You want to talk about it, Let's talk about it. A
• 4:15
  lot of it to me is kind of like a thing of and I've been
• 4:18
  I'm recording, by the way, happened the past three minutes, so just
• 4:23
  so y'all know, I figure much the conversation took a turn, we could
• 4:27
  start recording. Getting older is kind of realizing that like a lot of those
• 4:32
  behaviors are just like people who have their own like unb resolved trauma, their
• 4:38
  own resolve issues about their own relationships and them not knowing how to process the
• 4:44
  ship kind of just like leaves it out in the open for really hurt people.
• 4:53
  Hurt people this is what I'm trying to say. And if you don't,
• 4:55
  you don't have the bandwidth, or you don't know, or you're just
• 4:57
  so immature that you can't work on a relationship or know how to treat another
• 5:01
  person because you fuck yourself over. Yeah, most definitely yourself over, you
• 5:06
  know, I mean some yeah, it's yeah, it's it's a thing and
• 5:13
  hurt people. Hurt people, and unfortunately a lot and it's not exclusive the
• 5:16
  niggas, but a lot of people out here don't have the knowledge or the
• 5:20
  bandwidth or the maturity to be in the actual long term relationship because I mean,
• 5:27
  I think you've been in the longest relationship at the table. My longest
• 5:30
  relationship was almost five years. Your longest was Was it over five years or
• 5:33
  was it just five years? But relationships take work, like and it's annoying
• 5:41
  because that person is with you, they stayty, it's knowing in your ear,
• 5:44
  they fucking in your bid, they get on your nerves. It's work
• 5:46
  having to be in a long term relationship with somebody, and it's glamorized.
• 5:50
  I'm sure, like you know, we all want love and want to be
• 5:53
  in relationships, but it's work and a lot of people into those situations not
• 5:57
  aware of the fact or not aware of the fact that they're not maybe not
• 6:00
  built for it, or they're not mature enough to actually deal with what comes
• 6:03
  with that type of interpersonal relationship. But I like what you just said though,
• 6:09
  what part I mean when you say when you say it's work and a
• 6:13
  lot of people and like a lot of people underestimated. Whereas though it's like,
• 6:15
  yeah, like motherfucker's like yo, Like like you said, like especially
• 6:19
  I want to say, especially when y'all niggas lie together, ye, And
• 6:25
  it's like when y'all living together and you don't really know somebody until you live
• 6:30
  that part, because yeah, because when you're now, when y'all living together,
• 6:32
  y'all have an argument and ship the way I want to strangle that motherfucker
• 6:35
  so many times, and y'all have an argument and then it's like yo,
• 6:40
  both y'all you know both, y'all go to them like yo, if if
• 6:43
  if it was just your house, right it was just your house and that
• 6:46
  nigga was just staying there, you know that nigga would leave, can leave
• 6:48
  and be like yo and be gone for like a couple of days, you
• 6:51
  know, a few days, just let niggas, you know, let niggas
• 6:54
  cool off and ship. Everything is in my name. So that's how I
• 6:56
  was able to put the nigga out. That's another story, but I mean
• 6:59
  what I say, like, all right, so if y'all, like,
• 7:01
  you know, if y'all wasn't, if y'all weren't necessarily living together, and
• 7:04
  then it's like, yo, it was just your place and he was just
• 7:06
  coming over from time to time. And then it's like yo, y'all,
• 7:09
  y'all, y'all have an argument, y'all going at it, and then it's
• 7:11
  like, man, fuck the shit, I'm out, And the nigga he
• 7:14
  can disappear, you know, he can disappear for like I mean, he
• 7:15
  can leave for like a couple of days, just for niggas to calm down,
• 7:18
  you know, just niggas to calm down. But it's like, yo,
• 7:21
  now when y'all, like when y'all locked, then y'all in it,
• 7:24
  it's like, yo, you can't even know you gotta go back in.
• 7:26
  I remember when my my mother and my stepfather got married, and I told
• 7:30
  him, I was like, y'all married, Now, ain't no divorce in
• 7:33
  this family. So what's gonna happen is y'all have an attitude. Y'all got
• 7:36
  an extra bedroom. One of y'all going up, damn bedroom, sleep it
• 7:40
  off, God damn it. Okay. But and that's what I mean that
• 7:44
  that was the thing. I mean, that's the thing about marriage that you
• 7:46
  know, like I learned that, you know, like I learned that Dad.
• 7:49
  It's like, even if y'all niggas mad at each other, you still
• 7:53
  gotta go back in the house. Even if you leave, like you walk
• 7:56
  out, you know, you walk out that door, you still gotta go
• 7:58
  back in the house. And yall niggas got hashed. That sh the fun
• 8:00
  out And a lot of times they be like, don't go to sleep,
• 8:03
  you know, don't go to see mad, don't go to sleep upset or
• 8:05
  whatever. And it's like, yeah, that's I disagree with that. Like
• 8:07
  that, that's what I'm saying. That's a disagree with myth. Bro,
• 8:09
  Sometimes you have to sleep, sleep it off, get out your field.
• 8:13
  I think that myth of going to sleep, man, I mean that that
• 8:16
  saying comes from what if something happens, don't wake up the next morning or
• 8:22
  something like that. Now, the last thing y'all did is they have an
• 8:24
  argument. That's I think that's where it comes. Would have had an argument.
• 8:28
  And now y'all tired sleeping, you can't think straight because you ain't slept
• 8:31
  all day. You'll arguing on that. Now you're looking at him cock because
• 8:33
  you're tired, and you get on your nerves and he sneezes wrong. Now
• 8:37
  wrong, They said, step as you, Chauncey. But you know what
• 8:46
  though, Nah, but I do, But I do. I do it
• 8:48
  knowledge like. And I think that a lot of people got got a glimpse
• 8:52
  of what murdered life is when they got quarantined and you got stuff. I
• 8:56
  told you people hated realize. They didn't like they itself. They ain't like
• 9:00
  their spouse, ain't like the kids they like, They didn't like nothing.
• 9:03
  Because you were stuck. You were stuck nowhere, couldn't go nowhere, had
• 9:09
  to stir at this nigga and his funk ass feet all that. You didn't
• 9:13
  realize how bad his fucking feet think because you were able to leave a goddamn
• 9:16
  house. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of people realize a lot of ship
• 9:20
  during quarantine. I said that several several several episodes. Think I said,
• 9:26
  this ship during season one. Yeah buddy, yeah, And but it's I
• 9:31
  mean, like I said, especially for the people have who've been like in
• 9:35
  the off and on relationships, and when you when your niggas break up,
• 9:39
  if you know, y'all break up, but then it's like for one person
• 9:41
  it's like, oh, we're gonna get you know, we're gonna get back
• 9:43
  together, like they're just mad right now. But then the other person was
• 9:46
  like, Yo, nah, I'm done. I think that's what my my
• 9:50
  son father thought after I been putting out the house and stuff. I think
• 9:54
  he thought that I was going to because we had broken up before, and
• 9:56
  I think that he thought that I was just angry and needed some space and
• 10:01
  all that. And I think you realized, no, nigga, I'm dead,
• 10:03
  fuck sir, like they fun out my face. So you have to
• 10:11
  One thing I've learned as I've gotten knowed, especially dealing with friends and cousins
• 10:15
  and siblings, and they relationships and everybody go through their drama and they mess
• 10:18
  with every No relationship is perfect. Everybody has their their trials and tribulations in
• 10:22
  relationships. But a lot of times you offer your support where you can,
• 10:26
  but also just back up and say you gotta make the decision on your own.
• 10:30
  I had to learn it's not gonna lead to you ready. You're not
• 10:33
  gonna stand up for yourself until you're read. You're not gonna fight till you're
• 10:35
  ready. And no amount of me yelling at you or talking at you is
• 10:39
  gonna get you to see that. You have to come to that realization on
• 10:41
  your own. And sometimes I like, can we talk about you your relationship?
• 10:46
  Mean we like a decade removed at this point when it came to Shan,
• 10:50
  Actually it's been almost fifteen. Thank God for favoring in a position.
• 10:58
  Being on an eyepposite side of that that situation after the fact, it made
• 11:03
  me more clearly see what it was that y'all was seeing what it happened with
• 11:09
  another friend, and I was on this side telling them this, this,
• 11:13
  this, and this, and they weren't listening. They still want to do
• 11:16
  they was going to do they But then you turn around and come back crying
• 11:18
  to me about the same situation again, and like bitter already told you what
• 11:22
  to do. Like at this point, I feel like you just wanted to
• 11:24
  fucking But so now if we're talking about on the side, I understand I
• 11:31
  mean, if we're talking about the same person, I didn't see it,
• 11:33
  then we'll being on the outside looking at I said, the stakes were different,
• 11:37
  though, like were talking about the same person. Stakes were different because
• 11:39
  them niggas was locked in and and it's a lot. They got divorced.
• 11:45
  They had gotten divorced and then started all over again. And I was the
• 11:50
  first question I asked, was was different? I felt like that was a
• 11:56
  question, the question what's diff just go around and that's not the gate,
• 12:03
  the fact that they never actually stopped sleeping together even after they got the voice.
• 12:07
  I said, well, what was the fucking point? And some people
• 12:09
  it's a familiarity if they got a kid together, that push it belong to
• 12:13
  them. Bullshit speaking from experience, bullshit because when I was done, I
• 12:18
  was done. I never went back. You couldn't. You can smell it
• 12:20
  on my fingers. I would have took my finger and went here. I
• 12:28
  was done. Done. And I had a male friend comment to me.
• 12:31
  He was like, I have you know, I got other female friends who've
• 12:33
  been in your same situation, And he said, you are the first one
• 12:37
  that I ever saw or say I'm done done and actually be done, like
• 12:43
  didn't fall back into it, didn't go back sleeping with him, didn't.
• 12:46
  I I couldn't take it no more. I said, I fell out of
• 12:48
  love while I was still in the relationship, So it was nothing attractive about
• 12:52
  you to me. Dangerous falling out of loves while you're still in the relationship.
• 12:56
  When when your significant other, yo, when you realize that there's no
• 13:03
  arguments, there's no like I'm over this and I'm over you. I'm gonna
• 13:07
  tell you. I'm gonna tell you paying attention, paying attention when they not
• 13:09
  tell you how I'm telling you. I'm telling you know that that Keita was
• 13:13
  mad, like keda mad at me, like she's like really really mad at
• 13:16
  me. Yo, she'll fix herself something to and won't fix me nothing.
• 13:20
  Oh I've done that, starve bitch done. And it's not not even not
• 13:24
  even to stop, like not even just get up, yo, just get
• 13:28
  up and yo show yo. She'll get up and fix something to eat.
• 13:30
  And then I think I came in the house one day with food for me
• 13:33
  and tray and I knew he was home. I knew he was home from
• 13:35
  work, and I intentionally did it because you got off early and instead of
• 13:41
  waiting for me to get off of work, to get something to eat,
• 13:43
  or to pick the baby up from daycare, any of that. You went
• 13:46
  straight home, washed your own clothes, didn't watch the baby's clothes, and
• 13:50
  you didn't have to wash my clothes. But you ain't watch the baby clothes.
• 13:52
  You're inclining the kitchen. You ain't do anything, and but go sit
• 13:56
  on the couch and play video games. And you could have picked the baby
• 13:58
  up or early from work. You worked half a day, bitch, half
• 14:01
  a day. I was still at work. You ain't do none of that.
• 14:05
  So when I found out that he was home, I forgot how I
• 14:07
  found out that he was home, because he didn't call me. I think
• 14:09
  I called him to ax him something, and he told me he was already
• 14:13
  home. And I was like, oh, how long you been home?
• 14:13
  What you got off early? He was like, yeah, I got off
• 14:16
  around did it was what he said? It was? Uh? It was
• 14:20
  no really no work today. So he had got off at like eleven o'clock.
• 14:24
  I think he had went in at like seven or something and he had
• 14:28
  got off at like eleven o'clock. And I was like, oh, so
• 14:31
  why you ain't go get the baby early from daycare? Even if you ain't
• 14:33
  gon get him as soon as you got off from work, you could have
• 14:35
  went and got him, and I could have just came straight home. Yeah,
• 14:39
  And so I intentionally stopped and got me and trade some fast food.
• 14:41
  And I got in the house and he like, you ain't give me nothing.
• 14:43
  I sure the fuck didn't. And I meant that shit, you go
• 14:48
  home eleven o'clock. That's how I felt at that moment. I ain't gonna
• 14:52
  lie to you. What was it, Patty? Yeah? Did I give
• 14:56
  a fuck at that moment? I give a fuse, I don't. I'm
• 15:01
  gonna get that put on the shirt now. But I understand it. I
• 15:07
  mean I understand, like like I understand, like I understand your understand your
• 15:11
  side of it. And I also understand like it's on his side. It's
• 15:13
  like, yo, not necessarily like not y'all both in the house with the
• 15:18
  baby. Y'all both got a deal. Then it's like, yo, you
• 15:20
  get like you got you got this golden ticket. You off, baby not
• 15:24
  home, baby mother not home. I'm gonna beat my dick. I'm gonna
• 15:31
  beat my dick. I'm gonna beat my you know what I'm saying. But
• 15:33
  either way, but at the same time it is like, Yo, if
• 15:37
  I'm paying, y'll be paying this daycare. I mean also that like I'm
• 15:39
  paying this daycare, he gonna keep them. But at the same time,
• 15:46
  it's like for you, you might need a a break, like you might
• 15:50
  you might need a break from doing like doing everything, and it's like,
• 15:52
  Yo, you could do something, or you could have you know, you
• 15:54
  could have took the initiative to day and this dude just did something. Or
• 15:56
  if you was in the house, like let like picking them up, like
• 16:00
  picking the baby up, you to wash his clothes and everything with a mistright
• 16:04
  nigil. I also look at this from a slightly different perspective. Can I
• 16:11
  see it from the perspective of a partner who was in a relationship with the
• 16:15
  person who had a lot of thoughts and ideas about the way they wanted things
• 16:21
  to be run, but never communicated that to me and would catch attitudes when
• 16:25
  I wouldn't just know how to act. I remember we were out one time
• 16:30
  he asked me to go to like run errands with him, and I was
• 16:33
  like, okay, cool, but we were it was like a Saturday or
• 16:37
  a Sunday. It was a weekend. I was in the house like watching
• 16:38
  TV. I was like, okay, I'll got out the house a little
• 16:41
  bit. So we went to Best Buy and went to all these stores and
• 16:44
  stuff, and we sat down at Nando's and he caught an ad. He
• 16:48
  had an attitude, and I said, what was wrong with you? He's
• 16:48
  like, well, when I go with my friend, you know, we
• 16:52
  do this, and my friend office commentary and we do this, and we
• 16:55
  hang out this and recommend things. I said, I hate that too,
• 16:59
  and he was went on this long die tribe about me not being supportive and
• 17:03
  all these things, and right he went on this whole rant about me not
• 17:10
  being supportive, of me not doing things the way he was used to.
• 17:12
  And when I let him talk, I literally said, there like this and
• 17:15
  let him talk. We had order food and right leg the one leg,
• 17:23
  the one leg over the left leg over the right leg just a little bit.
• 17:27
  Look Sean Lane, and I literally said to him, we were sitting
• 17:33
  in Nantos. I said, I'm not your friend. Did you communicate any
• 17:37
  of this to me to so I would have known that this is what you
• 17:40
  were expecting because you have all these expectations in your head, but you're getting
• 17:45
  mad at me. For not knowing how to react based off of something you
• 17:48
  never communicated to me and had the same conversation communicating in hindsight, Brandon now
• 17:57
  would have God saying that Brandon but got up and walked and walked and went
• 18:02
  the funk home and would have said, well, since you want to be
• 18:04
  out here shopping on your terms, you take the train back, come on
• 18:07
  your Because I drove my own car because he didn't drive it to the town,
• 18:11
  I would have been like, okay, well, since you want to
• 18:12
  shop on your own terms, you do that. I'll be at the house
• 18:15
  half fun getting home on your own. Man Kit had had. Man Kit
• 18:22
  had had that same kind of conversation with with the leader and her daughters,
• 18:25
  because the leader would at first she was the type that she would she would
• 18:29
  have an idea how things should like things would be done like dishes and should
• 18:33
  be done, but she didn't communicate it to the kids how she wanted the
• 18:37
  dishes done, and you know, then she yelling at him, and then
• 18:40
  she's getting mad at them for not doing you know, for not doing it
• 18:42
  how she pictured them doing it. Type you know, like like how Kevin
• 18:47
  Hart said, I want you to do it how I pictured you doing it,
• 18:48
  and it's like, but if you don't tell me how you wanted done,
• 18:52
  how am I supposed to know how you want to do it? So
• 18:55
  man Kitty was like, you gotta tell them, like you got, you
• 18:56
  got to show them how you want to and after you show it to them,
• 19:00
  then you know, now if they don't, if they don't do it
• 19:02
  the way that you show them, or if they or if you don't see
• 19:04
  that they if they found a better way, if they if they're if they're
• 19:08
  their way air quotes is better than you know, better than your way,
• 19:12
  and it's still and it's still not up to your standards, then I you
• 19:15
  know, you gotta say something like, oh, cleaning, how you know
• 19:18
  I would like for you to clean it how I asked you to clean it,
• 19:21
  because that way that I know that it's clean type ship. But I'm
• 19:26
  with you, I mean, I'm with you on that. I think I
• 19:27
  think young us and young relationships we we kind of lacked the lack the level
• 19:33
  of communication. Yeah, like we we we Like my mom used to apologize
• 19:37
  for not being a good example of communication because I mean she did she really
• 19:42
  didn't know, like she didn't know how to communicate either right, and you
• 19:47
  know, she was just doing what you know, she was just doing what
• 19:48
  she thought was right, what she thought was right, and it eventually led
• 19:52
  to it eventually led to a lot of arguments between her and her husband and
• 19:56
  eventual divorce. But I believe that my mother was willing to change, but
• 20:00
  he wasn't. If that makes sense, Like, yeah, it makes absolute
• 20:04
  sense, like even me, even me pushing twelve twelve, thirteen years and
• 20:12
  it's like, all right, shoe, we you know I had to.
• 20:17
  I've been working on ways to communicate effectively versus just you know, you say
• 20:22
  your part, I listen to what you like, I listen to what you
• 20:25
  say, listening to respond, and not to I listen to what you say,
• 20:29
  you know, not not even not even just listening to respond, but
• 20:30
  just like I listened to what you say, but not necessarily hearing, like
• 20:33
  not necessarily hearing it, or and vice versa. You hear me like you
• 20:37
  hear me. I mean you listen to you're listening to me talk, but
• 20:40
  you're not hearing what I'm saying. That's a definition of listening to respond,
• 20:42
  not to understand. But it's one of the things like me trying to step
• 20:52
  outside of myself, you know, step outside of myself in a way that
• 20:53
  I'm thinking in that moment to acknowledge that you know, acknowledge that you know,
• 20:59
  or acknowledge your pain. I mean, you know, even show you
• 21:00
  that I'm I acknowledge what you're saying, and I understand. I can see
• 21:04
  it from your point of view because my thing used to be. If you
• 21:08
  can make it make sense, you can make it make sense to me.
• 21:11
  I'm a rock with it, like I don't care what it is. If
• 21:12
  y'all even with your niggas. So if y'all make it make sense, you
• 21:18
  say, look, were about to like we about to go right, We're
• 21:19
  about to go ride this bank or whatever, like hey, wow, you
• 21:26
  questions money. It's like it's like, I don't want to go to prison
• 21:30
  for y'all niggas. I told them not to do it the whole time.
• 21:38
  Whole time. Niggas in the jail cell like yeah, but this, but
• 21:41
  this nigga benefited from it. I don't know got paid off. I don't
• 21:45
  know what they're talking about. I still haven't. I have my statements here.
• 21:48
  I just paid it yesterday. Ask that nigga how you got I'm actually
• 21:52
  nigga, how you got them? How you got them? Damn Turkish them
• 21:55
  Turkish implant hey, im plants plants. You know I can't take Niga will
• 22:03
  be sitting there with waves like nigga, you your son Ruf is missing two
• 22:07
  months ago. First of all, bitch, real game works, not ma
• 22:14
  club for men. My guy right, Me and Bozzley Well a queen and
• 22:19
  welcome to this weet's episode of Wine and Our Daddy, the podcast I'm your
• 22:22
  host Brains the Garden jump by two of my favorite people in the world.
• 22:25
  How are you feeling this week? I'm good. I just I mean,
• 22:26
  I really, I just really enjoyed that, really enjoyed that conversation about relationships
• 22:30
  and communication. It can keep going. I'm chilling im straight. That's good.
• 22:33
  It can keep going. I don't have to because it'll be a good
• 22:37
  segue into our topic, true Ship, True show, oldest topic. Jesus
• 22:41
  on the main line. Tell her what you want, I mean, not
• 22:45
  that ship, not the ship. We'll get into that in a second.
• 22:49
  But no, legit, yeah ship did that ship did? Just wow?
• 22:53
  All right, damn, look at us we all here, we're smart and
• 22:57
  ship. But you you living? You learn and get loves. You know,
• 23:03
  you learn, and I think you have to go through ship in order
• 23:08
  to come out on the other end wiser. And I think, to me,
• 23:11
  no relationship, I look at the way I have to get my relationships
• 23:15
  now. Is every relationship I have was successful because I was able to learn
• 23:18
  something and take take something from it. A lot of relationships aren't as much
• 23:22
  as someone Sometimes you want them to last forever while we're in it. Once
• 23:26
  you get out of it's like oh girl, no, thank you. But
• 23:30
  a lot of relationships are put in your life or you go through them to
• 23:33
  teach you how to teach you about yourself, how to deal with other people,
• 23:37
  how to deal with yourself in a romantic you know, situation or context,
• 23:41
  and also teach you ship that you you don't want to put up because
• 23:45
  it doesn't work with you in your personality. And if you walk it out
• 23:48
  of a relationship after dealing with a person who may or may not have not
• 23:51
  been good for you, as long as you have that what you learn on
• 23:53
  your back, Hey, yeah, lesson, learn job well done. Yeah
• 23:59
  you're walking in, You're always walking into. Thanks for the lesson, don't
• 24:02
  come back around. Thank you for the lesson. Baby, ain't no spending
• 24:04
  the block. I think I mentioned before and the show that I used to
• 24:07
  used to be a proponer for spending the block, but now, no,
• 24:10
  thank you. I don't want nothing your niggas got I need something new,
• 24:12
  nigga. It is not hot in her and I am not foolish. It
• 24:18
  is not raining on me. I don't want no country grandma getting my evil
• 24:25
  on. No thank you. I wish them the best, but no,
• 24:33
  it is not still on it over here. No, I mean, I
• 24:38
  don't want none of your pimp juice. I mean, but she got that
• 24:41
  good good I am not a fan of air Force ones. You are not
• 24:48
  my baby, baby, baby, baby, baby game. You can be
• 24:52
  foolish, but I will not be good luck, good luck. She just
• 24:56
  want to love them the way that I don't love you. How about that?
• 25:00
  Only you cannot make me feel because I don't want to ship all baby,
• 25:04
  I don't think about it over and over again. I don't want to
• 25:07
  go to the movie. It's not all in my head. I don't want
• 25:11
  to go to the movies. Man. Yes, I am unfoolish ship because
• 25:18
  you are not number one. She met him on the South Side at all
• 25:22
  two is a winner and one will not remember because you will not be in
• 25:26
  my girls might have been. At one point you say something okay, no,
• 25:36
  thinking I want no parts none no, because I'm finally happy without your
• 25:42
  ass and I'm going down to the club, drop down to get my because
• 25:52
  where the party at the woman you love and I don't want to rock with
• 25:57
  you our baby no more. Man. That's the song for the episode.
• 26:04
  Yeah, yeah, that's the song episode. I just lay you thik girl
• 26:14
  though, Okay, I know no nigga after that home break, bitch might
• 26:22
  be a tip drum sweet yeah, under the under the mimmy, what's popping
• 26:33
  to night? Get the head right? She there every day, every night,
• 26:42
  every night. Won't be stumping in yours once over here, bitch boy,
• 26:51
  big boy, nah but nah, but she's down for him. I
• 26:57
  love that for them. M hmmm. I wish him a beast. It's
• 27:00
  beautiful, very much so beautiful. But ain't no spending the black over here
• 27:04
  because she's well nigga. That was that was, That's why she said.
• 27:17
  She telling nigga simply tell them niggas minded business day to read me though,
• 27:25
  m all right, woh, good morning, good morning, y'all. Good
• 27:32
  morning, y'all. Help the troy All y'all, y'all listeners shout out,
• 27:41
  I'm say mama listening with them. Other nurses, the spoils with our context
• 27:47
  with this episode are gonna be so yes. Hell that not that nigga.
• 28:00
  Why I'm watching one on one when you'll leave. That's my ship. The
• 28:04
  early episodes after they added ray J and the to the cast, I was
• 28:08
  just saying, I just say one on one. Yeah, graduated from high
• 28:15
  school and moved to California, and ray J was on. Ray J was
• 28:18
  one of their roommates. Excuse me. Willie was one of really and and
• 28:26
  and and cal will popping from time to time. He was dead laying over
• 28:29
  them. I love me some Calment. Sure it was my guy back of
• 28:34
  the day, even though he's short. Yeah, most of them all.
• 28:38
  I just got to accept and told y'all, my damn soul may probably standing
• 28:41
  behind a tall niggah. What an under your bulls bro? Just looking this
• 28:48
  back up? Okay, I know you go. You're comfortable and that slow
• 28:53
  warm down there. No, damn no, damn, it is one my
• 28:57
  side. I don't know. I got my old body, the older in
• 29:00
  today is dry. I will say that this is probably one of my favorite
• 29:06
  cities. Just know what would be talking about one of my favorite times of
• 29:08
  the year because the sun doesn't really like nine o'clock at night, and cherries
• 29:12
  are in season. They are and they are fantastic. They're fucking eleven dollars
• 29:17
  eleven dollars a pounds a giant. But they always giants popping cherries. That's
• 29:22
  crazy. They call them giants because that's what their prices. Though. I
• 29:26
  ain't gonna lie I did at one point, but that's a lie. No,
• 29:30
  I ain't do that. It's there ain't no cherries in the back ship
• 29:33
  to Prostate. But anyway, no commentary, Nicks, I don't know.
• 29:47
  I don't know that one took the cake that Nigga said. Well, actually
• 29:48
  that nigga probably popping the tray h if something started bleeding back there with you
• 29:56
  already. Can we have a let's have a quick look before we get into
• 30:02
  the topic what we're talking about before this ad moment it came and went,
• 30:07
  came and went talking about the name of Seanna Paulo movie. Oh bitch,
• 30:14
  it came, yeah, because I came and he went by Thunder down fourteen
• 30:22
  black Yo, Contina Turner why she was listen, how what you're about to
• 30:41
  do? A nigga fan, I've been there too. You seen me sweating?
• 30:48
  What you like this back then? What you're doing, what you're doing
• 30:52
  doing? What you're doing? What you doing? What you do? Oh
• 30:55
  you can't tell yo, I'm going to big, I think being a big
• 31:12
  I mean, I mean that mess in first place back like chicken leg,
• 31:19
  chicken wings, just tied up like a rotaste for chicken. Yeah, that's
• 31:26
  take a commercial break. We'll be right back, y'allah and we're back,
• 31:34
  y'all. Hey h hope we all enjoyed that very spirited conversation about things and
• 31:41
  relationships and hey bit, maybe we should have a whole relationship talking about relationship.
• 31:48
  That's the ADHD. Maybe we should have an episode just talking about relationships
• 31:52
  and like life lessons learned, and maybe that should be episode we have ket
• 31:56
  on that that's do it? Okay? Yeah, I mean well, al
• 32:02
  I added to the production notes. I mean you also said that you want
• 32:06
  to do that. You also said that you want to do something about us
• 32:09
  being you know, what's been married, like you know, so young and
• 32:13
  ship like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, um, hold
• 32:16
  on to the prediction. So out there, you know, to our you
• 32:22
  know, to our like our our fifteen listeners. Nigga, we are up
• 32:27
  to thirty now. I'm sorry, put respect on the other fifteen people's names.
• 32:30
  I am saying, Okay, just what you want to be saying while
• 32:37
  you bullshuldn't. I'll be playing. I'll be playing wonder Pie tiktoks at work,
• 32:42
  just just cousins, like yo, non, tell me what you're doing
• 32:44
  this situation. It's like, what the fuck what are y'all talking about?
• 32:51
  It's like, listen to that episode. No but but the one, but
• 32:54
  the one that I think everybody like is the fact that Joe, you you
• 32:59
  took you my ba you know, your mother took you all the way downtown
• 33:01
  and they and it wasn't nothing wrong with your black ass or you just couldn't
• 33:05
  listen. I'm sorry you didn't want to listen. And so for my teacher
• 33:08
  friends, you know that that's a story'all fucking life like a little bit.
• 33:13
  You hear me, You hear me talking to you, huh, Like you
• 33:17
  could tell you, you could tell them, you could tell them stop,
• 33:21
  don't do that, and they would look you dead in your face. Don't
• 33:27
  you knock that down? Put it down? Come over here. As soon
• 33:31
  as you get up, you mother, get out. Na kids and your
• 33:37
  kids the same thing, say the same thing. They're both assholes. You
• 33:45
  be looking at them like you're looking at them like, don't touch that.
• 33:47
  Sit down, sit down, and then get up, get up and go
• 33:52
  across and hit another, hit another student like wow, like that child of
• 33:54
  mine over there, the ferry one, not the one I birthed, because
• 34:00
  she laid out on the couch right now, like she works on will she
• 34:04
  do? She works on? It's called y'all's nerves about to say, she
• 34:07
  worked out your nerves. And then we're looking and then were looking at you
• 34:12
  like clean my ship. No, I'm clean that I stick a nose in
• 34:17
  it. Let's let's let's move on to our actual topic. You ready for
• 34:23
  this fool's n shown that you recommended. Maybe we should we should do this
• 34:30
  this type of episode more more often. But anyway, so Shawna, have
• 34:37
  me and Aaron watch a documentary call tell Them You Love Me? And it
• 34:44
  is the story of a woman woman by the name of and A stubble Field,
• 34:47
  and a man by the name of Derek Johnson. This article that we
• 34:54
  read is in Forest magazine and it's entitled the bizarre true story behind Netflix is
• 35:02
  tell Them You Love Me. That speech came out wrong because I was trying
• 35:07
  to hold in them a cough. My bad, Joe, And they asked
• 35:12
  the question that poses the question whereas Anna Stubblefield Now? The article reads,
• 35:16
  well, not really, but the article was written by Monica Mercury and the
• 35:22
  article reads Netflix's newest true crime documentary, Tell Them You Love Me, is
• 35:29
  currently the number two movie on the streaming platform. This article came out last
• 35:32
  month, June twentieth. While watching the film, you may have questions about
• 35:37
  what happened in real life, including where Anna Stubblefield is now. Directed by
• 35:43
  Nick august Perna, netflixes Tell Them You Love Me delves into the controversial relationship
• 35:47
  between a white able body professor and a nonverbal black man with cerebral palsy,
• 35:52
  which led to a nationwide debate over power, dynamics, disability, and race
• 35:58
  after the man said that he couldn't give consent. According to Netflix's to Them,
• 36:05
  The documentary centers on whether Johnson, who was nonverbal, could communicate through
• 36:08
  FC communication and give consent. The court initially answered no to the question of
• 36:14
  consent, and Anna Stubblefield was sentenced to two twelve year terms in twenty fifteen.
• 36:20
  That didn't mark the end of the strange case. The professor's initial conviction
• 36:23
  was overturned and she was released after two years after pleading to a lesser sentence.
• 36:29
  Tell Them You Love Me centers on first hand testimony from Stubblefield, Johnson's
• 36:32
  family members, f C expert Howard Shane, and disabled anthropologists and professor Professor
• 36:39
  Diva kasni Is to tell the story of what happened. Just a quick synopsis
• 36:45
  of the story. Anna Stubblefield and Derrick Johnson crossed paths in two thousand and
• 36:52
  nine through his brother John Johnson. John was a PhD student at Ruckers University
• 36:57
  and took Stubblefield's philosophy and Disabilities studies class. After class, he approached the
• 37:02
  professor to learn more about facilitated communication or FC, which is a technique Stubblefield
• 37:08
  was familiar with after watching her mother use it for twenty years. After speaking
• 37:14
  with DJ's mother, Daisy Johnson, the married ethics professor offered to facilitate DJ
• 37:17
  herself she was gonna move mountains and accept her at her word, Daisy says,
• 37:22
  and tell them you love me. FC communication is an assisted typing technique
• 37:29
  where a facilitator physically supports a person's hand her arm as they points to letters
• 37:32
  on a page your keyboard spelling out words. However, the American Speech Language
• 37:37
  Hearing Association describes FC communication as a discredited technique that should not be used.
• 37:44
  The association says that there is extensive scientific evidence that messages are authored by the
• 37:47
  facilitator rather than the person with the disability. Stubblefield said that she successfully taught
• 37:55
  DJ how to communicate through FC, and with her assistance, he began taking
• 37:59
  a Universe class. The professor claimed that Johnson was an intellectual trapped in a
• 38:04
  body that could not communicate. But just five years before, a clinical psychologist
• 38:09
  named Wayne Tillman evaluated DJ and found that he couldn't carry out basic preschool level
• 38:15
  tasks. Tillman said that his comprehension seemed to be quite limited, his attention
• 38:21
  span was very short, and he lacks the cognitive capacity to understand and participat
• 38:24
  in decisions. According to The New York Times, in this final part,
• 38:30
  who We moved to questions. Derek was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and hydrocephalus after
• 38:36
  suffering multiple seizures as an infant. He learned how to walk after attending a
• 38:39
  day program and participating in his family's daily routine. In the documentary, John
• 38:45
  said that while DJ was there and expressed emotions like feeling happy or frustrated,
• 38:49
  he never had a formal education. So what are your thoughts about this wild
• 38:55
  ass documentary? I felt like this desperate, pasty faced bitch took advantage of
• 39:13
  that man. I believe everything that she was telling that family was a lie.
• 39:19
  All the communication and stuff that she claimed he was doing, and the
• 39:22
  stuff he was typing and all that. I believe that was her because if
• 39:25
  I'm not mistaken, I don't remember anybody else actually witnessing him doing this stuff
• 39:30
  but her, so they only had her word. I think she was desperate
• 39:37
  and she wanted somebody that she could control and somebody who she could manipulate.
• 39:46
  Because he could not think for himself, he could not really do much for
• 39:50
  hisself. His family took care of him, and I feel like she took
• 39:52
  advantage of the situation. I don't think her heart was in the right place.
• 39:57
  And I think that her I don't underst and how her conviction was overturned.
• 40:00
  I think she should have served more time. I actually think she should
• 40:02
  still be in jail, honestly, because what I feel like she did was
• 40:07
  I felt like what she did was equivalent to rape because he could not consent.
• 40:12
  I don't believe any of the stuff that she claimed he said to her.
• 40:15
  I don't believe him axing to see her breast and for her to take
• 40:17
  her clothes off and all of that other stuff, because why is this She
• 40:22
  was the only one out of all these people that he was actually communicating with
• 40:24
  with actual words and not with tapping on the table or going over to the
• 40:30
  refrigerator when he was hungry and tapping on the refrigerator like his mother. And
• 40:32
  I'm saying, and I just think that I think she should have lost her
• 40:36
  license to practice. And I think she did. Yeah, yeah she did.
• 40:39
  You're right, you're right, you're right. But yeah, she shouldn't
• 40:42
  be allowed to be abound vulnerable adults, children, nothing. She can't be
• 40:45
  trusted, She can't be trusted, and she had no remorse. She doesn't
• 40:50
  think that she did anything wrong, and that's the part that focks from me
• 40:52
  the most. So she didn't learn anythings. She didn't learn her lesson.
• 40:57
  She still was trying to see him and all kinds of stuff like that.
• 40:59
  Yeah, yeah, she's she's a fucking creep. She's a creep. Creek
• 41:02
  creek, creek, creek, creek. I hated it, Aaron, Ah,
• 41:09
  I'm on the fence a little bit, I mean a mother defense about
• 41:12
  it, and it was like, yeah, like yeah, when you look
• 41:14
  at when you look at the outside of it, it's like, yeah,
• 41:15
  she yeah, she might. You can you one side, you can be
• 41:19
  like, yo, she's wrong, but you know, personally knowing and personally
• 41:22
  knowing the folks that had cerebral palsy and you know, and they you know,
• 41:28
  I I believe that, you know, they wanna be treated like everybody
• 41:30
  else where I felt uh where, I felt this though, So I looked
• 41:37
  at her from both I mean looked at it from two different perspectives, like,
• 41:40
  say, what she was saying, what's true? Right? He was
• 41:45
  actually he was typing to her and they were actually having conversations intellectually like yo,
• 41:49
  he's there, Like he may he may be there, but then but
• 41:52
  it's like Yo, Now when you try to explain that to your mother,
• 41:58
  his mother and his brother that that they don't you know, they have a
• 42:01
  hard time looking at you know, I believe you know, sometimes they have
• 42:05
  a hard time looking at you might have a hard time looking at your person,
• 42:08
  you know, looking at your looking at your kid. Like they they
• 42:12
  grown especially with especially with the ability of disability like us like that, because
• 42:16
  I mean, we see you know, we see we see actors with cerbral
• 42:20
  palsy on on that, and they got their wits about them. They can
• 42:22
  you know, they can talk walk a different level, right, So so
• 42:27
  for her, so for her, like how she described like how she described
• 42:30
  it, and it's like in the beginning she described it and then they were
• 42:31
  saying like these are like they they were showing like the little audio like I
• 42:36
  mean, the actual like typing or whatever. So I understand that she might
• 42:40
  have felt away from him. But at the same time, it's like outside
• 42:45
  looking in and it's like, hey, yo, you're kind of taking advantage
• 42:47
  of this nigga, Like you're taking like you're kind of taking advantage even like
• 42:51
  even if he's in this position where he can speak for himself, you're dealing
• 42:58
  you're dealing with two other people who believe that he's still fed up, and
• 43:02
  he like, he don't he don't know no better, like he doesn't know
• 43:06
  any better. And whereas you saw you know, you saw you do what
• 43:09
  a lot of people feel like a lot of people fail to do, fail
• 43:12
  to do with people with disabilities like you, you fail you don't see them
• 43:15
  as the person like or you don't see them like like like like she like
• 43:22
  him as a man, like you don't see him as a man. You
• 43:24
  look at him like a man child because like even about that, at the
• 43:28
  end of it was like, yo, that's my son, you know,
• 43:30
  that's my son, that's my baby boy. Like he's always like he alway,
• 43:34
  he's always going to have a kid in mine. And I'm saying here,
• 43:36
  like then I put myself in. Then she was an habitual line step
• 43:40
  or two I left that she was stepper trying to tell people who've been with
• 43:45
  Himen's entire life what he wants, what he likes. Like when she gets
• 43:49
  the mother want to give him chicken, and she's gonna say he's a vegetarian,
• 43:52
  bitch, What can he tell you that he might be a vegetable,
• 43:57
  But don't even know what vegetarian could lam Demand. That's what kept pissing me
• 44:01
  off Demand because they said that D Man. I said, domain, how
• 44:07
  Caucasian is that you whitewashed that nigga name? Like, I'm so confused.
• 44:10
  So this, this whole thing was nothing more than an episode of an overbearing,
• 44:15
  privileged white woman. Yes, fact, so I'm gonna say Karen haircutting
• 44:20
  everything. But then then I put then I put my Then I put myself
• 44:24
  in the manager. Yeah. I put myself a D man D man perspective
• 44:30
  like Demand demand, like, I put myself put my mo like I try
• 44:37
  to look at it like his point of view, like all right, I
• 44:39
  got a cerebral palsy, and intellectually, I'm i'm I'm I'm wetting this white
• 44:45
  bitch panties, okay, and then I'm getting something. I'm trying to figure
• 44:50
  out how that worked. He could barely walk. No, she said,
• 44:52
  no, I mean no, she said she described it like she described that,
• 44:57
  She described how it happened. I understand that they got they got that,
• 45:00
  they got down on the floor, and she wrote she wrote that nigga
• 45:01
  to she wrote that nigga to glory. Yeah, she took advantage. She
• 45:05
  should be in jail. But because if it was my child, she would
• 45:08
  have had to see me. I ain't gonna lie to you, but what
• 45:10
  I'm saying, and it ain't no allegedly behind it, she would have had
• 45:13
  to see me. I'm saying it like, but I'm saying that like if
• 45:16
  I if I was him, because then it's like I'm him and shit and
• 45:20
  it's like, yo, I just got my first piece of ass and then
• 45:22
  you hit me. But then then it's like, oh, now y'all mad
• 45:24
  at me. You're mad at now. They're not mad at him. They
• 45:28
  mad at her, right, but taking, but you're taking, but you're
• 45:30
  taking my you're taking, you're taking my pleasure. You feel what I'm saying.
• 45:34
  Because the mother was like, ooh, he's masturbating now and he he
• 45:37
  ain't never done that, like striking. It was like, yo, that
• 45:40
  how would you know? Like how would you know what that is? Could
• 45:43
  she take care of every day? No? You know what I'm saying.
• 45:45
  She was like, how would you know what that is? If you never
• 45:46
  had if you never had the sensation. So I'm like, the way she
• 45:53
  spun it, did he bring did you watch it? Did you watch the
• 46:00
  documentary with your sister. They came in midway through him and Gary came in
• 46:05
  midway through. I was explaining to them and both of them at they were
• 46:07
  like, what was you high? So was y'all high? That would yall?
• 46:17
  But so okay, my next question do you where do you think that
• 46:22
  the situation between them took a turn for the negative? Because to me,
• 46:25
  in the beginning, it seemed like it was a it was a positive.
• 46:30
  She was genuinely trying to help him. But what put you? I think
• 46:31
  it took a turn to what was like, well, bitch, you're starting
• 46:35
  to overstep, You're starting to go too far. Around that time, I
• 46:37
  mean, like Sean has said, around that time where she was saying that
• 46:40
  they had no I think I think it went it went negative for me,
• 46:45
  like it took the turn where she was like they were they were at the
• 46:50
  little college thing and you know, they was they was in a class and
• 46:53
  he had and he had he had started typing and told her to and he
• 47:00
  he had told her to read it, but she was trying to she said,
• 47:02
  she was trying to correct it, like you know, corrected and she
• 47:06
  was reading and then you know it didn't come out the way. It didn't
• 47:07
  come out the way that he intended it to. And he had looked at
• 47:10
  her, and so the wrote like, don't you ever, ever, ever,
• 47:13
  ever, ever do that again. And it's like she said, you
• 47:15
  know, I never did you know, I never I never never once did
• 47:19
  that. I didn't do it after that. And then I think when he
• 47:22
  was speaking at the they said he was speaking at the at at one of
• 47:28
  them college like one of those events to the undergraduates, and somebody asked him
• 47:31
  about love and he had said, you know, he would want that more
• 47:35
  than anything in the world. And she was like, you can have that
• 47:37
  with me. It was like exactly, I felt, here we go at
• 47:43
  that point was when she should have been like she was a habitual line crossing,
• 47:46
  but she over she didn't step up over boundaries. That bitch did a
• 47:51
  backflip. So over the boundaries. So speaking as a speaking as a massage
• 47:57
  therapist versus you know, just just person yo. Once you like, once
• 48:02
  you developed that kind of relationship or those kind of feelings for your client air
• 48:07
  quote, you have to move on, yeap, Like you gotta you gotta
• 48:12
  end, you have to end all sessions. You gotta end all sessions with
• 48:15
  this with this person and move on and move on, because you like lines
• 48:20
  are gonna get blurred, and then you're gonna start, You're gonna start like
• 48:22
  you're gonna start crossing unwanted, unwanted boundaries and then put yourself. Well,
• 48:25
  we see what happened. And the fact that she when the family told her
• 48:30
  they didn't want her coming around anymore, and she went behind the families back
• 48:34
  and wrote that letter to the people saying that they wouldn't allow her to see
• 48:37
  him and all of that stuff like that. That's where I knew her motives
• 48:40
  weren't weren't but even pure, so they weren't pure. So she was trying
• 48:46
  to help herself. She wasn't trying to help him now. She wasn't happy
• 48:51
  in her marriage. Look at her from this respective say everything she said it
• 48:53
  was true, Like I mean, like everything I'm talking like this, nigga,
• 48:58
  Like they they they're commuit municating through like through the little through the little
• 49:01
  machine that you know that they were using right now. He didn't do them
• 49:07
  no favors by not interacting, like not interacting with the with with the with
• 49:15
  the people that came through because it's like, yo, you if if if
• 49:22
  you are doing all these things that she's saying that you're doing and you're trying
• 49:24
  to prove and you're trying to prove that you are a man and you can
• 49:29
  you know, you can take care of yourself. You know you can semi
• 49:31
  take care of yourself. You feel what I'm saying, like, Yo,
• 49:35
  show them what you're showing her, because right now you made yo even like
• 49:38
  yo, even if if if any, if anything that she said was true,
• 49:42
  it makes her Yo, he made her look like a liar because the
• 49:45
  doctor was like because the little psychiatrist or therapist was like, I sat with
• 49:50
  him for like three hours and he ain't do none of that, none of
• 49:53
  the stuff that she even that she said he did, He ain't like he
• 49:57
  wasn't like when he when he said when he's hungry, he'll go over and
• 49:59
  he'll tap the refrigerator exact. Let alone, let alone point out point out
• 50:02
  a picture on point out a picture of a refrigerator on on the thing.
• 50:07
  I was like, and I'm saying here, like you stupid nigga, yo,
• 50:10
  if you if this is this is what you want, this is what
• 50:14
  you say, like, this is what you want this is what you said,
• 50:15
  you want, you want this, you want that semi independence, yo,
• 50:17
  show them, show them that. It was like she ain't like,
• 50:21
  yo, she ain't crazy, because it looks like this bitch is crazy.
• 50:23
  You got like you got her going dumb. Literally O to me. I
• 50:28
  thought that while I was watching this documentary, I just knew that at any
• 50:30
  moment, this ship was gonna turn into a fucking episode from the I D
• 50:36
  Chanting And I was gonna say she kidnapped him or some ship. Like I
• 50:38
  thought that's where this was going. I was sitting here watching, I'm on
• 50:42
  the couch like, I'm like, yo, I ain't say she called and
• 50:45
  said everybody she wanted to see him for an hour and all that stuff like
• 50:50
  that, the voicemail she left with the mother and all that stuff. She
• 50:52
  just wanted to see him for an hour one last time. And this,
• 50:54
  this and this. I really thought that this lady, it was gonna take
• 50:58
  a turn, and they was going to say and then he disappeared, you
• 51:00
  know, and now we can't find her that's going to survive or some ship.
• 51:04
  Hey, That's what I really thought was gonna happen, because that's how
• 51:07
  it creaked out. This ship made me. I was saying, like,
• 51:09
  I hope he ain't dead because he had the right mama, because wouldn't have
• 51:13
  been my mom. I'm gonna tell you that ship. Now, y'all listen,
• 51:15
  if y'all listen to a few episodes again, y'all got the nice version
• 51:19
  of my mama. But I mean, but like I said, maybe it
• 51:22
  wouldn't have been my mama back in the day, like no going off for
• 51:25
  like just going off for this the strength of if anything that she said was
• 51:30
  true, if everything that she said was true, and then it's like,
• 51:34
  Yo, all you gotta do is sit here and talk to these people,
• 51:36
  because it was like, yo, once once she stopped coming around, the
• 51:38
  mother said, Yo, he was like he was pulling her hand. He
• 51:40
  was scratching her ship like that, And it's like, yo, you if
• 51:46
  you if you have means of communication, means of communicating, then use those
• 51:51
  like, use those means. Show that your show that your brother, like
• 51:53
  show your brother that you that that you got your with about you show the
• 51:58
  show. Mom. Believe nothing, Shorty said, I don't believe, Like,
• 52:00
  yeah, I mean, but then I mean, but even though,
• 52:02
  like like I said, even if you do it still make her look like
• 52:05
  a liar because he wasn't doing anything. He wasn't doing any of it.
• 52:07
  And if that nigga wanted to be petty and not do the ship purposely thinking
• 52:12
  that you know, they're gonna they're gonna get her and bring her like,
• 52:15
  bring her like, bring her so he can so so then he can talk
• 52:17
  type ship. It's like, Yo, that's not what's happening, especially not
• 52:20
  especially not no, especially not no police investigation. Like, they're not gonna
• 52:22
  bring They ain't gonna bring her. They're not gonna bring it. You're not
• 52:24
  gonna get what you want. They're not gonna bring the alleged victim around the
• 52:29
  alleged perpetrator. They're not gonna do that. So yeah, the thing that
• 52:32
  made the one thing that gave me pause when watching this was the fact that
• 52:36
  the classmate who helped him, No, I don't remember. I can't remember
• 52:39
  off hand when the classmate was helping him with his homework. Was was the
• 52:45
  was Anna in the room with them, because it sounds like she wasn't to
• 52:46
  me, I can't remember. I can't remember. I mean a lot of
• 52:50
  people are saying, like, you know, a lot of people are saying
• 52:52
  that. I think somebody said that she she knew, you know, she
• 52:55
  just knew of them, and she never really she never really seen like what
• 53:01
  Hannah was saying, like, I think like the professor was like, yo,
• 53:04
  she she didn't even know what to do. She just know him as
• 53:07
  d Man. She didn't even know, she didn't even know what his name
• 53:09
  is, Derek de Man. Demand I'm still mad about that. I'm sorry,
• 53:15
  y'all, but yeah, I think I think I think it was like
• 53:20
  I think it was like I think it was like at least one classmate where
• 53:23
  she wasn't around. But but then who's to say that, I mean,
• 53:28
  who was to say that, you know, she just wasn't trying to say
• 53:30
  the ship because they asked, you know, they she looking out Like I
• 53:35
  said, I believe that if it was like, if it was true,
• 53:38
  he ain't do her no favors. He ain't doing no favors. All he
• 53:42
  did was push her and push her into the push her into the big house
• 53:45
  faster. So she pushed this ouf into the big house. She'd be all
• 53:49
  right. She had to bring honey buns for honey onons for two years.
• 53:52
  Next question, do you think that he did have some sort of intelligence or
• 54:00
  wait about him to at least get him to the part of sitting in the
• 54:07
  college class actually being not necessarily he was nonverbal, but being able to differentiate
• 54:14
  like or knowing how to communicate using the neo, which is what it was
• 54:16
  called. Do you think that he had enough intelligence to do that? Because
• 54:21
  I think what I was missing previously was just now was the classmates said that
• 54:24
  she didn't help him write like the stuff. It was like he read the
• 54:29
  books on his own and was able to put together like to write a paper.
• 54:31
  So do y'all think that he maybe had some level of intelligence that maybe
• 54:37
  the doctors didn't. I believe. I'll say it was a possibility, okay,
• 54:40
  because I believe that anything is possible. And again, but I don't
• 54:45
  think extent that she made it out with to be I don't know. I
• 54:50
  mean, it could like it could be, But then again if if,
• 54:52
  if, if it is like that, yo, you you you can't just
• 54:58
  do it for her like you gotta do it for everybody else. It's just
• 55:01
  I mean, it's just like it's just like, uh. The example that
• 55:05
  I gave Ketter this morning was like, say, with us AJ cool right,
• 55:12
  aj AJ know the aj know all the songs. He know ABC's once.
• 55:15
  He can count from like one to one hundred. And then when you
• 55:19
  get him around, when you get him around, then when he get around
• 55:24
  somebody else, it's like he clam up and he can't talk, like he
• 55:30
  can't lamb up, can't talk. And then it's like yo, and then
• 55:32
  they be looking at us like, well, I thought you said, I
• 55:35
  mean, I thought you said, he know he knows like he does like
• 55:37
  he does. But it's like, yo, come on, yo, you
• 55:39
  got it like you got it like you have to. You know the same
• 55:42
  thing that you give us, you gotta give them, you gotta give them,
• 55:45
  you gotta get your teachers and ship. You know what I'm saying.
• 55:46
  And I believe that's what that's what it is. Yeah, but yeah,
• 55:55
  that's how I feel about it. I think I think that's what it is.
• 55:58
  Just like Yo, you didn't like I said, you're not doing anyone
• 56:02
  no favors, especially if you're looking for independence, you know what I'm saying,
• 56:07
  Like if you're looking for if you're looking for independence and you're looking I
• 56:10
  mean, I'm sorry semi independence, because you never you never really you're you're
• 56:14
  gonna be in supportive living for the rest of your life. Yeah, But
• 56:16
  if you're looking to get out your mother's house and be on your own with
• 56:22
  somebody, like with a nurse or somebody coming through, you know, coming
• 56:24
  through every now and then you you're not doing you're not doing yourself no favors
• 56:29
  by claiming up and not and not showing them what you can do or not
• 56:31
  showing them what you know. And that's the and that's the that's the bad
• 56:35
  part about it. It's like, yo, even if you have your wits
• 56:37
  about you, even if you were, like even if you're smart as a
• 56:40
  motherfucker, like you not showing them that you can do, Like you're not
• 56:45
  showing nobody else what you can do. Everybody gonna treat you like niggas won't
• 56:49
  true to the same and they're gonna they're gonna treat you like a victim,
• 56:52
  because legit, that's what happened like once, like yo, once once she
• 56:59
  said once they and then so my thing is, yo, how was the
• 57:02
  interaction though, and how was the interaction now? If if he's using the
• 57:07
  neo and y'all are in the room with y'all are in the room with him.
• 57:12
  Do you see him, like, do you see him typing? You
• 57:16
  get what I'm saying. It's like, do you see him typing? Do
• 57:20
  you see him typing? And and her just re didn't have the neo when
• 57:23
  she was hunting on him, So I'm confused. No, no, no,
• 57:27
  it's just what I'm saying, how was he saying this stuff to her?
• 57:29
  If he was non verbal? What I'm saying is but know what I'm
• 57:32
  saying is just like she probably had it next to him, next to the
• 57:38
  yoga man. But what I'm saying is if if he if they told him
• 57:45
  about the if they if they told his parents, his mother and brother about
• 57:49
  the relationship, and this nigga supposed to have been like typing on like typing
• 57:52
  on the neo. It's like, yo, if you if you've seen them
• 57:54
  communicate, do y'all did y'all not see him using the neo and her just
• 57:58
  reading it or or what? Like, you know, how were y'all communicating
• 58:01
  with him? Because the brother was saying like he was talking like he was
• 58:04
  talking like he was talking to him at one point too. So it's like,
• 58:07
  what's like, what what's real? Like what's real? And what's like
• 58:12
  you know, what's hearsay because if you if you're saying, if you're saying
• 58:15
  that you communicated with him, but then you don't understand that, like you
• 58:19
  don't understand him saying like yo, I want to be on my own type
• 58:22
  ship. And then it's like yo, like you know you having conversations with
• 58:25
  him about it. Then like is she like is she is she? Really?
• 58:30
  Is she really wrong? Like I mean, I mean, of course
• 58:31
  you's wrong, but it's like, yo, is there any validity to what
• 58:36
  she was to what she was saying that they would that they were having right?
• 58:38
  So don't you because you actually were about to answer a question I have
• 58:42
  in my future question, So don't drop ahead because you almost started answering that
• 58:45
  I will say before we moving to next question. One of the most egregious
• 58:50
  parts of the story to me is when they were in the car with his
• 58:52
  mother and she started making these like comments over demand prefers classical music the mother
• 58:58
  had. They were going to church and the mother had gospel on and she
• 59:00
  changed the station to classical or like Seanna said earlier, he's vegetarian, he
• 59:05
  doesn't eat meat. Just that Yeah, I'm done for it. I'm done
• 59:08
  for the second. I'm done for a second. But yeah, So another
• 59:14
  question I have. Do you think that the the I also want to say
• 59:21
  that I hate that the mother and the woman tried to make her come off
• 59:29
  as like this victim or this naive woman or victim they couldn't tell right from
• 59:31
  wrong. After everything went down, her mother was like, oh, well,
• 59:35
  she you know, she thought in her head that maybe they were together,
• 59:37
  but she's just not even That's just how she is. And but this
• 59:43
  woman was a fucking PhD. She was the head of a department. I
• 59:46
  think she knew right from wrong. Do you think that this woman genuinely thought
• 59:52
  that this man was communicating with her? Do you think that she basically,
• 59:58
  after a certain point of ro working with him, milked it for her own
• 1:00:01
  benefit and tried to use that as leverage to facilitate this relationship with this man.
• 1:00:06
  I think she milked up her home benefit. Okay, I do I
• 1:00:09
  do. I think that they became familiar with each other, and that she
• 1:00:14
  took his admiration or whatever for her as something that it wasn't, and she
• 1:00:20
  took advantage of and she facilitated everything. That's what I believe. Yeah,
• 1:00:25
  but I mean. But this wasn't no whirlwind romance. This wasn't no when
• 1:00:30
  this is not that, this, this was not that. This was a
• 1:00:36
  desperate woman who took advantage of somebody who couldn't think for themselves. That's what
• 1:00:40
  I believe. That's my story. That's what I'm going to stick to,
• 1:00:45
  based on the evidence I believe. I believe just at the home that she
• 1:00:49
  said it like she might have made it shut up in her head, like
• 1:00:52
  in her head like it wasn't happy at home. She wasn't happy with her
• 1:00:55
  little too bit as husband. And that's what I believe. She wanted her
• 1:01:01
  some some some some black meat. She murried black. Her husband was black.
• 1:01:07
  Yeah, I didn't see the husband. I must have looked away.
• 1:01:10
  I didn't In the picture with her and the kids, I didn't do not
• 1:01:14
  see her husband. Oh yea, his face was burned out, but he
• 1:01:16
  was. That was a black man and showed the picture. Isn't on the
• 1:01:19
  wedding day he was. They were in the cars picture from them in the
• 1:01:22
  car after they got married. He was in the front, she was in
• 1:01:25
  the back picking random like this and his face was blurred off. That made
• 1:01:29
  that's why didn't pay no attention to black Man. Yeah, black I must
• 1:01:32
  have looked away for a second mailbox. That must have been when my mama
• 1:01:36
  cold and I had to pause it because I missed that part. Final question,
• 1:01:42
  I retract my statement in my bad she still took advantage? Did you
• 1:01:47
  answer the questionnaire? I mean, like seannav I mean Shann was saying.
• 1:01:52
  I mean Seawana the way the way I mean what I took from Seawanna was
• 1:01:54
  like she she was on both sides. I mean, yeah, she felt
• 1:01:59
  like she took advantage off. She took advantage that she fatilitated the whole situation.
• 1:02:01
  However she created you know, she created that relationship in her mind,
• 1:02:07
  like she created a relationship about him being like yo, about him being like
• 1:02:10
  nerdy and you know, intellectual, like nerdy. He was a nerdy intellectual
• 1:02:15
  And she was like, oh my god, that's you know that that's what
• 1:02:17
  she likes. And I can see that she created it in her mind because
• 1:02:22
  then it was at that point, if it's in her mind, you know,
• 1:02:23
  she come olden to be whatever she wants to is Dad is like you
• 1:02:28
  know, she can like in her mind, they they have they had these
• 1:02:31
  they had these intellectual conversations, these little this little pillow talking ship and it's
• 1:02:36
  like, I like, you know, she liked them, like and then
• 1:02:39
  she fell in love with them. But I believe yo, because he he
• 1:02:43
  was building, he had all this he's making all this progress. He was
• 1:02:45
  walking, he was walking, he was and you know he was he was
• 1:02:50
  doing what she He was doing what you said, I mean with you.
• 1:02:52
  Was he not walcome prior to her? Mm hmmmh he learned to work in
• 1:02:57
  the day program, correct, I think No, I think as a kid
• 1:03:00
  told him now, oh now, Ship, I thought he was going.
• 1:03:04
  But he was congrently going to the day program and dealing and working with her
• 1:03:07
  at the same time. It's a weird period, but yeah, that's what
• 1:03:12
  I'm saying. It's like like I do believe that she. I mean,
• 1:03:15
  I believe that she created a relationship in her mind and with all this progress
• 1:03:20
  and you know she was he was showing that he was smart, Like he
• 1:03:23
  was smart. He can do he can do a lot of like, he
• 1:03:27
  can do a lot of stuff. And she and then she just took that
• 1:03:29
  and ran with it. He can do anything, Okay, he can do
• 1:03:32
  more than he can do, more than you think. He can. I
• 1:03:36
  hate to be this person, but I'm going to be. If this had
• 1:03:42
  been the other way around and the genders were reversed, that nigga would have
• 1:03:50
  got lynched and the racist would have been reversed. He'd got lynched, he
• 1:03:58
  wouldn't he would have got more time. He would still be in jail.
• 1:04:00
  The nigga had even made it to jail, made it to jail. Should
• 1:04:05
  happened down south, Yeah, they'd have killed him. But this was in
• 1:04:09
  the two thousands. This wasn't in the eighteen I said, But I said,
• 1:04:15
  it's niggas, Joe, it's niggas that got that got. They got
• 1:04:17
  hung in fucking Pemont Park a few years ago. They tried to rule it,
• 1:04:24
  rule it suicide. I remember that. Yep, them racist work forward
• 1:04:28
  got him from for hurting that little hurting that little precious angel. Yeap.
• 1:04:34
  She played the innocent call and it didn't work, but it worked at all.
• 1:04:39
  It worked. So final question, do you think that the Essex County
• 1:04:45
  Prosecutor's office watched their case by not allowing the NEO to be used or the
• 1:04:50
  facilitated communication to be used as evidence, because that's what ultimately resulted in the
• 1:04:56
  conviction being overturned because there was evidence, there was so much evidence that was
• 1:05:00
  acting in her favor. And my thought process was they were right in the
• 1:05:03
  assertion that the prosecutor's office basically removed so much evidence for being able to use
• 1:05:12
  for her to plead her cases. There was no way she could have won
• 1:05:15
  that. Yeah, yeah, no, no, it was it was because
• 1:05:18
  I believe I believe she. I mean, she fought the unfair She fought
• 1:05:21
  the unfair fight. Because it's like you just said, it wasn't it wasn't
• 1:05:25
  working in the favor she could have, I mean, but it did it.
• 1:05:29
  But then it but then they say that what we like, the ship
• 1:05:31
  that we were reading was the actual like actual stuff off the neo. So
• 1:05:36
  it's like yeah, yeah, but I also believe that, you know,
• 1:05:42
  they all they heard was all they seen was God with serpal palsy, can't
• 1:05:47
  do this, can't do this, can't do this, can't do this,
• 1:05:49
  can't do this. And then they then they just they just left him like
• 1:05:53
  that, They turned them into a victim, like like the lady was saying,
• 1:05:56
  like the mother, it's a way that you can walk, a way
• 1:06:00
  that you can walk with a disabled person. And show and show him,
• 1:06:02
  you know, and show how powerful that them, how powerful they are versus
• 1:06:06
  what the mother did was like treating like walking him in like he was a
• 1:06:10
  victim. And because they because she walked him in, I believe, because
• 1:06:14
  she walked him in like a victim, and they talked to him and they
• 1:06:16
  treated him like they treated him like he was like he was a victim,
• 1:06:20
  not saying he not a victim, but the presentation of like the presentation of
• 1:06:26
  him tucked on those herd strings and they got motherfuckers like she took advantage of
• 1:06:30
  him. Whereas though like I keep like I keep like I keep in the
• 1:06:32
  back of my head, like what if you know, what if like what
• 1:06:36
  she what she said was right, like was true? Like yo, what
• 1:06:41
  if? Like what if you know he he was this person that she described.
• 1:06:45
  And but the way that everybody else said is like, yo, I'm
• 1:06:47
  the victim, you know, like I'm a victim. Well, I guess
• 1:06:51
  the world may never know, just like we don't know how many licks it
• 1:06:55
  takes to get to the center of a Josie pot that swee niggasay just don't
• 1:06:58
  want admit it. They don't want to do the hever. So the world
• 1:07:01
  may never know. But I think she got with her she deserved. She
• 1:07:04
  actually didn't get what she deserved. She deserved more time. She should have
• 1:07:09
  really went to jail. Honestly, I stick by that. I won't change
• 1:07:13
  my mind. Nothing can make me change my mind. Do I think they
• 1:07:15
  botched the case, and that's why I got overturned? Absolutely? Absolutely ended
• 1:07:18
  up working out in her favor. But again, she should never be able
• 1:07:21
  to walk around vulnerable adults or children no more. She can't be trusted.
• 1:07:26
  Next thing, you know, she'll say the damn twelve year old fella she
• 1:07:29
  was. She fell in love with him. I don't trust nothing about it.
• 1:07:31
  I'm sorry. Yep, And see how that worked out. They still
• 1:07:36
  together. She died. She died from breast cancer. When she died,
• 1:07:44
  Yeah, God, she got out of jail, and I think they got
• 1:07:47
  out of jail and got back with him and got married. They were together
• 1:07:51
  for years I think they had and then they got a couple more kids.
• 1:07:55
  They got divorced. She died from brust cancer a few years back. Yeah.
• 1:08:00
  I'm not even gonna touch that one right now because I feel some way
• 1:08:03
  about that too. Continue anything else there, Oh, Yo, that ship
• 1:08:09
  was. I'm just saying, like the ship, the ship was. It
• 1:08:13
  was crazy because I mean it was a mindfuck, like the sixth sense,
• 1:08:15
  because I kept saying, everybody's speaking on it, and I was like,
• 1:08:20
  we need to talk about that. I mean no, I mean I'm glad
• 1:08:25
  we did though, but I'm saying it was. It was a complete mindfuck
• 1:08:29
  because everything leading up to the case. It's like, Yo, the story
• 1:08:31
  that she was spinning, it was like, damn, like where he liked
• 1:08:34
  this and didn't even have me feeling like, yo, if I if I
• 1:08:39
  was, if I had cerebal palsy, bro and like and not and I
• 1:08:42
  had me a little girlfriend, Yo, y'all better I take my little girlfriend.
• 1:08:45
  Mm hmmm mm mmmmm. It's it's it's it's it's it's fucked up.
• 1:08:49
  I mean, it sucked up. People. When you said, out of
• 1:08:51
  the twenty four years she was supposed to have been senting, she only did
• 1:08:54
  two, well it was it was twelve years. It was two twelve years.
• 1:08:59
  Certain current to twelve year sentences serve concurrently, so she was a one
• 1:09:03
  twelve year sentence. That's bullshit, right, But she got outs in two
• 1:09:09
  years because of the fact that the panel judges decided that they she wasn't allowed
• 1:09:14
  to have enough evidence to accurately plead her case, and they let her go
• 1:09:16
  after two years. Oh so they looked at it like, y'all, y'all,
• 1:09:19
  y'all actively sabotaged her case. That's what the panel judges decided. But
• 1:09:27
  all right, well that was a heavy ass documentary. But they didn't talk
• 1:09:32
  about was but there's civil damages, like the family sued. The universe didn't
• 1:09:36
  sue Rutgers. I didn't say anything about that. Yeah, I don't know.
• 1:09:41
  They got her locked up, but how they saw if she and jail
• 1:09:44
  I ain't got no money, her husband divorcedudy two years, she would have
• 1:09:46
  to do something I would have took. Let's talk about the husband being the
• 1:09:50
  m v P character. He's a pathological narcissist. Like god damn. I
• 1:10:01
  was like, oh, Ship, she's a pathological liar and narcissist. And
• 1:10:05
  I'm tired of this man, basically tired of the money that you know,
• 1:10:09
  the expense of his family and his name, Like this bitch is bleeding and
• 1:10:15
  bleeded out and bled eye accounts dry for lawyers and all that ship now and
• 1:10:19
  embarrasing out, embursing my kids too. Fuck that bitch. She need to
• 1:10:25
  be she needs to be put under the jail. I was like, I
• 1:10:28
  was like, damn bro. Like the fact that she said I will sign
• 1:10:32
  in blood. I think she might have saying it and jest, but it
• 1:10:35
  didn't help her case because it made it sound fucking crazy. But the fact
• 1:10:40
  that I'm glad that the mother set her up and they got her on tape
• 1:10:45
  saying what she did to that man, yoh, because that was that was
• 1:10:48
  a supreme setup, nigga. All of her was bump bum Essex County Court.
• 1:10:59
  In the criminal justice system, sexually basic, sexually based offences have been
• 1:11:03
  whatever, whatever, especially these are the stories. And with that being so,
• 1:11:13
  we're gonna take another commercial break and we will be right back what we're
• 1:11:26
  doing for the Do you want to Are we doing Q and A segment this
• 1:11:28
  week? Joanna? Or here we can chair because that was a heavy topic.
• 1:11:32
  Let's do what we doing this week? Lord, before we get started,
• 1:11:36
  jesus, oh, Lord is afar? Yeah? Fuck that lady,
• 1:11:43
  uh before we get started. If y'all have any questions, rant, story
• 1:11:48
  ideas, topic ideas, please please please send them to us at ask one
• 1:11:55
  to Part at gmail dot com. That is a sk w A and the
• 1:12:00
  A p O D at gmail dot com. You can also reach us via
• 1:12:02
  social media. We are winding the podcast on Facebook and ship sorry y'all on
• 1:12:14
  Facebook and YouTube, and we wander part underscore on I G TikTok and the
• 1:12:23
  Twitter. You can to be anonymous if you want to use a pseudonym,
• 1:12:30
  if you want to use last names or vice versa, I will not.
• 1:12:33
  And if not, because you don't give a goddamn like Scharie Redfield in her
• 1:12:39
  old face, who gonna check you aarens? Anyway, we're gonna try to
• 1:12:58
  break this ship up a little bit. The since we were talking about people
• 1:13:03
  with the motherfucking audacity, I'm going to caucasidy, I'm going to the toxic
• 1:13:11
  really thread. This is a am I to ass whole question? And it's
• 1:13:15
  hardaway. Is am I the asshole for breaking up with my girlfriend after seeing
• 1:13:18
  her naked for the first time? What s that's right? Like that?
• 1:13:30
  I feel really guilty even typing this. My girlfriend twenty female and I,
• 1:13:34
  twenty male, have been in a relationship for a few months. Prior to
• 1:13:38
  that, we were close friends from middle school. When I finally asked her
• 1:13:42
  out a few months ago, we thought this meant this was meant to be
• 1:13:45
  because we had such a close friendship and such a strong connection. Sex wasn't
• 1:13:51
  my highest priority because I had genuinely loved her. We dated for a few
• 1:13:57
  months and it was amazing, and last week she only decided she wanted to
• 1:14:00
  take the next step. She said she had never had sex with anyone before
• 1:14:04
  and she was nervous, but I told her it was all right and we
• 1:14:08
  were in it together. The move was very romantic, and my plan was
• 1:14:13
  to go down on her first. However, when we both got naked and
• 1:14:15
  I saw her down there, I felt a bit shocked because I had never
• 1:14:18
  seen something like it before. I think the term for it is a OUTI
• 1:14:25
  y'all following along a belly buddy, what's an outing? We'll get to that.
• 1:14:30
  Oh shit. I also felt a bit nauseous, so I went to
• 1:14:33
  the restroom, but luckily I didn't puke. I tried my best to hire
• 1:14:36
  my reaction, but she had seen everything. I apologized a lot and told
• 1:14:42
  her I just wasn't feeling great and I had nothing and it had nothing to
• 1:14:45
  do with her but she could probably see through my lives. I really felt
• 1:14:48
  horrible, especially since I could see that she was really hurt. She left
• 1:14:54
  my apartment shortly after. The next day, when we hung out, I
• 1:14:58
  apologized again for everything, and I told her her that it would be best
• 1:15:00
  if we could just remain friends, as our friendship was more valuable than a
• 1:15:03
  relationship. She agreed, but she but she also cried a couple of minutes
• 1:15:09
  later, and then she left. We have badly spoken since then. I
• 1:15:13
  feel really guilty about everything. Am I the asshole? Okay, let me
• 1:15:17
  give y'all what a audi is that he's talking about. There are women who
• 1:15:27
  have large clitter. There are women who have large clitter verses that are not
• 1:15:35
  covered by the clitteral hood, so when you go to spread them apart,
• 1:15:40
  it's just sitting there. When when she gets turned on, it gets it
• 1:15:46
  gorgeous. How the blood flows to your penises, that's what it does to
• 1:15:50
  the clitter. So that's what it is that he's speaking about. I'm guessing
• 1:15:56
  he's never seen it. A JJ wear. The clitteress was relatively large.
• 1:16:01
  I've seen videos. That's how I knew what he was talking about. Break
• 1:16:06
  I did you Wow, so well, I'm traumatized. Are you? Are
• 1:16:15
  you friend? It doesn't necessarily look like a penis, but honestly, that's
• 1:16:21
  pretty much what a glitters is. It's just a small penis. Some of
• 1:16:25
  them do. Some of them are relatively large, and it look like a
• 1:16:29
  baby penis. Some men who have penises that look like large clitter. That's
• 1:16:35
  another story they called. They call those chodes. Another story they could do
• 1:16:42
  is tickle you. That's it. So are you the ad whole? Yes,
• 1:16:46
  you're the ass whole because your your your reaction was very immature, very
• 1:16:51
  very very immature, and that hurt her feelings. And as a woman,
• 1:16:57
  I probably would have kicked you on your nuts. I ain't gonna lie,
• 1:16:59
  I aint gonna hold you. I would have I would have ketch you in
• 1:17:05
  your bowls. I'm not gonna lie, I ain't gonna hold you. That
• 1:17:09
  was very disrespectful, that was very childish, and if I was I wouldn't
• 1:17:12
  probably talk to your stupid ass again. But that's just big. Yeah,
• 1:17:17
  that's just me. That's that's gross. Yeah, I can imagine, but
• 1:17:24
  I can imagine that she took the pants off and then he seen it.
• 1:17:26
  It's like, what's wrong nothing. Have y'all ever seen the movie in the
• 1:17:31
  wood yep? Remember when he was about to have sex for the first time
• 1:17:38
  and he turned his back and put the car in the morning He turned around
• 1:17:41
  and she sat up and was like, is this all that? I imagine
• 1:17:45
  that that's what happened? Said, yeah, that was a little embarrassing.
• 1:17:49
  That was me. Oh, I'll do the ask. Oh yeah, because
• 1:17:58
  you could have responded control how big clittericist is? She cannot I might even
• 1:18:08
  lost some words talking about critics. Clitterist wasn't about to do this for the
• 1:18:15
  day, but it wasn't big criticism. Yeah, I'm traumatized. Might just
• 1:18:20
  be the Super Sweet Wine show and I had a drinking but I think,
• 1:18:26
  yes, Chrisette, Michelle, I will blame on you because it is your
• 1:18:29
  motherful. Are we doing this again? No? No, that that moment
• 1:18:34
  was gold, but we can't create that. I'm about to say, I'm
• 1:18:38
  about say my nigga like she ain't got that many songs. Bro, We're
• 1:18:44
  gonna move past that. The next question. Yes, the next thing,
• 1:18:51
  yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah up SAMOI boy up a little bit money.
• 1:19:01
  Okay, this next one. I guess this came from the am I
• 1:19:09
  the jerk thread? Oh that's different, Yes, and the title is My
• 1:19:14
  brother admitted to a prank that drastically changed my life seven years ago. Okay,
• 1:19:19
  backstore, seven years ago when I was seventeen, excuse me. When
• 1:19:26
  I was a seventeen year old male preparing for college, I was trying to
• 1:19:30
  find scholarships. I applied to a scholarship run by a local family, using
• 1:19:34
  money from a man in the family who was very wealthy. They eventually announced
• 1:19:39
  that a girl from my town had won, and I thought nothing another up
• 1:19:42
  it. Sorry. My brother, twenty seven, male, is now in
• 1:19:45
  AA and is making amends. He admitted to me that I actually won the
• 1:19:49
  contest. He said that an old teacher of his was on the scholarship board
• 1:19:54
  and saw him at the store and bought it up to him, assuring him
• 1:20:00
  that we already knew, but we didn't know as the letter hadn't coming to
• 1:20:03
  mail yet. But after she said something, he knew, and when the
• 1:20:08
  letter came he took it. He was mad at me at the time now
• 1:20:13
  he doesn't even remember why, and said that he responded to the letter,
• 1:20:16
  thanking them, but telling them that I had received a full ride scholarship to
• 1:20:20
  the school of my choice and no longer needed funding. He gave them his
• 1:20:25
  own cell phone number and said that they can call him with any questions.
• 1:20:29
  He says that they did, and he just convinced them that I didn't need
• 1:20:30
  the scholarship and that they should give it to someone else, so they did.
• 1:20:35
  He admitted it was shitty of him, but doesn't seem to think that
• 1:20:38
  it was a big deal. He doesn't even see the value of the money
• 1:20:42
  I lost, because I still got to go to college. But the difference
• 1:20:45
  was that I ended up with up to forty K in debt. With student
• 1:20:49
  loans, I still owed thirty five K, and the interest is counting.
• 1:20:55
  The scholarship would have paid out a total of forty five K all the course
• 1:21:00
  of my college education, as long as I maintain minimum grades. His print
• 1:21:05
  costs me tens of thousands of dollars. I know he's an AA and the
• 1:21:10
  goal is to make amends and fixed relationships, but this honestly makes me never
• 1:21:14
  want to see him again. I spent college so incredibly stressed over money,
• 1:21:19
  and this could have solved so much of it. And he did this over
• 1:21:23
  something he can't even remember now. Where do I go from here? Am
• 1:21:28
  I supposed to let this go? Sorry, this is just kind of a
• 1:21:30
  rant. I don't really know what I'm asking other than general advice on how
• 1:21:35
  this should affected my relationship with him. I feel like I don't want any
• 1:21:40
  relationship with him at all now, but I know I might regret their years
• 1:21:43
  down the road. You're right to cut off ties with your brother over some
• 1:21:47
  shit he did that costed you several tens of thousands of dollars. When people
• 1:21:54
  go through these treatment programs, they have a lot of them. I think
• 1:21:58
  one of the twelve steps is atonement for some that they've done the people or
• 1:22:00
  own them to the stuff they've done to people. Yes, but I think
• 1:22:04
  they're also told that they have to come to the realization or come to the
• 1:22:08
  expectation that some people may want to sever tis with you because of the shit
• 1:22:12
  you did to them in the past. And if you fuck somebody over like
• 1:22:16
  this, like say, for you cost me forty thousand dollars out of money
• 1:22:19
  that I could have potentially not have had to pay because you were being petty
• 1:22:25
  and vindictive over some bullshit. Reason could have been thirty five. I could
• 1:22:28
  have hit my pocket with forty five K. You could have had it in
• 1:22:30
  your pocket and now I have to pay student loans back. I'll tell I
• 1:22:34
  would have been like this. I would have said this, you want to
• 1:22:38
  make it up to me, Run me my forty five thousand dollars and then
• 1:22:40
  we can call it hanging out like the grow sisters. Run me my coin.
• 1:22:48
  Bitch. Yeah, no, you're not the asshole. Seven times with
• 1:22:54
  that man, you can't you can't fileow a lawsuit against him or something,
• 1:23:00
  but at the bare minimum, you need to tell him how you feel.
• 1:23:01
  And I would definitely sever a tize with that person because he's he cost you
• 1:23:05
  tens of thousands of dollars, tens of thousands of dollars that you would not
• 1:23:09
  have had to worry about in college. And who knows, had you have
• 1:23:12
  gotten that scholarship, you could have gone on to become you know, gotten
• 1:23:15
  a PhD, or gone on to do whatever else. But because you had
• 1:23:17
  to stress abot money as a person who was in that situation in college,
• 1:23:20
  because you had to stress about money and where you how you want to pay
• 1:23:24
  for school, and have probably probably having to work jobs and stuff that affected
• 1:23:29
  the quality of the education you you you. You know you got cut him
• 1:23:32
  off five times over how he said, old punk bitch in your life,
• 1:23:44
  crazy bitch, stupid ass bitch, crazy bitch, your dumb ass bitch,
• 1:23:47
  crazy bitch, just a bit crazy bitch, no earlier. You need that
• 1:23:56
  in your life, that negativity in your life. Sure, I'd like to
• 1:24:00
  iterate that is okay to cut people off. You cannot choose who you are
• 1:24:04
  related to, but you can choose your family, if that makes sense.
• 1:24:08
  I have created my whole family. Some of these folks I am blood related
• 1:24:11
  to, some of them I am not. I have other ones who if
• 1:24:15
  I walked past the ass in the street, I won't say a goddamn thing
• 1:24:17
  to him. I ain't even gonna hold you. Okay, fuck him the
• 1:24:21
  long way. No bass ling, no gun ole, no k why no
• 1:24:30
  bacon grease that sound like a blt not because that was incredibly childish and patty
• 1:24:43
  and yes it happened seven years ago. Here's what I'm gonna shake hands.
• 1:24:47
  I don't mean to cut you off. What happened this nigga said Bacon bussy.
• 1:24:53
  I mean, I don't know why I'm self fans with these people,
• 1:25:02
  but what what pisces me? Off is that people want to do things to
• 1:25:11
  hurt you, right, and then try to gauge your and not just not
• 1:25:15
  even that being not even gauge your reaction. They want to do things to
• 1:25:19
  hurt you and then tell you how you should react or how you should feel
• 1:25:26
  about it, or how you should go about addressing it. You don't get
• 1:25:30
  to tell me how I'm going to respond to the ship that you have done
• 1:25:35
  to me. You don't get to do that. You don't get to tell
• 1:25:40
  me how to respond to disrespect. That part now, rather I decide to
• 1:25:46
  let it go. But rather, rather I decide to forgive you and never
• 1:25:57
  speak to you again, or forgive you and speak to you later on,
• 1:26:00
  or beat your ass or any of that. That's my decision. You don't
• 1:26:05
  get to tell me how to respond to disrespect. You don't get to tell
• 1:26:09
  me, oh, this is how you should or this is how you should
• 1:26:12
  know, bitch. How I'm a respond is how I'm gonna respond, and
• 1:26:15
  you're gonna take it and shut the fuck up, period, Because response if
• 1:26:17
  you treated me right the first exactly, that is oh punk, bitch,
• 1:26:21
  that is that is. You don't get to tell me how to respond to
• 1:26:28
  your bullshit, fuck you and the broom you rolled in on, Broomhilda.
• 1:26:33
  You don't so. No, you are not the asshole. You are not
• 1:26:36
  the jerk. You are not wrong. And the part that's pissing me off
• 1:26:42
  is I don't even remember what I was mad at you about. But hey,
• 1:26:46
  at least I told you seven years lady, get over it. No,
• 1:26:50
  bitch, hey favorite system. I fucked you up and it costs you
• 1:26:54
  tens of thousands of dollars. My ma love you. Sorry, Sorry,
• 1:27:00
  do you want to make it up to me? Run me my forty five
• 1:27:01
  to pay that debt off and then we can talk to But until that day,
• 1:27:06
  die bitch slowly, Like Tank used to sing, I mm hmm,
• 1:27:15
  absolutely not. Maybe I've cut people off the fall less. I ain't gonna
• 1:27:20
  hold you same same sang. Hell no, maybe yeah I did. Do
• 1:27:29
  you cut the fuck out for doing some ship like that? Absolutely? Maybe
• 1:27:31
  yeah I did? Oh yeah, oh yeah, the Grandmachael and change you
• 1:27:39
  damn the street because that's what about that happen? Because I'm fitting run over
• 1:27:43
  your baby toe with my car. Remember the episode of Hospeals of Atlanta and
• 1:27:46
  the Chrispar of Porsch chase that go down the street. Chase is down in
• 1:27:48
  alley with a fucking push. She said, fucking that's what spot? What
• 1:27:57
  an outh cost to you going? If a bitch with an outh cost to
• 1:28:00
  start chasing me? Getting like fight back, bitch, listen, Oh yeah,
• 1:28:09
  you don't play with the bitch. You thought the underground railroad was a
• 1:28:11
  real train. She don't give you don't You don't play with the bitch.
• 1:28:16
  You went into another bitch house and was acting like her friend and didn't marry
• 1:28:19
  that bitch husband. You don't play with a bit like that. She don't
• 1:28:23
  have she doesn't give a fuck. You don't funk with the bitch to her
• 1:28:26
  first of herself, it's the princess of thought landy okay, God, I
• 1:28:30
  love I love William. That that Chad Porsche William's story. Uh gabana,
• 1:28:36
  what's that nigga last name? They got the nigga some new teeth and hi't
• 1:28:41
  know how to act. I want him to get off the internet. I'm
• 1:28:42
  sick of him. I am sick of him. That nigga skin routine,
• 1:28:49
  a skincare routine and somebodis and he just don't know how to act now ridiculous,
• 1:28:56
  ridiculous, But I said what I said? Oh my god, that's
• 1:29:10
  it, y'all. That's the only question we got. Okay, that was
• 1:29:15
  the second question. Well that's the that's the last question. Hm. Well
• 1:29:20
  this has been a heavy episode. Cham Well we'll leave it the wine and
• 1:29:27
  audacity the heavy lifting around. Well, apparently this episode we drinking wine today
• 1:29:30
  and these motherfuckers have a lot of audacity, but a whole lot of audacity.
• 1:29:35
  What that being said, y'all, Yes, it is the audacity for
• 1:29:40
  me and nearly in Ashanti Oh man, baby, shut the hell up.
• 1:29:45
  Baby. If you have any questions for us, feel free to send them
• 1:29:49
  my way and ask on the part of at gmail dot com. That is
• 1:29:56
  that is a s k W A N D A p O D at gmail
• 1:30:00
  dot com. You can also find us on Twitter or I'm sorry X because
• 1:30:04
  pronouns and names matter X, Instagram and TikTok at wander Pot, Underscore,
• 1:30:10
  and on Facebook and YouTube at Wine and Audacity the podcast. Don't forget that
• 1:30:15
  aper saying instead of the word and ship is ship like comments subscribe, Yeah,
• 1:30:21
  let them know, let them know what y'all like. What y'all here?
• 1:30:25
  Set up Share with your friends, Share with your friends and coworkers,
• 1:30:28
  Mama, share with them, nurses. My mama can't listen to this at
• 1:30:33
  work. They might send her home. Tell her we need five stars.
• 1:30:38
  Should already telling them people are doing the crazy. Well, I maybe that
• 1:30:42
  be that as it made. We still need we still need a five star
• 1:30:45
  review and comments. I just know what y'all like and when in your lank,
• 1:30:49
  if and if y'all want to hear, can you tell me? And
• 1:30:56
  on top of saunderstand anything. She also seven feet picks because she's going she
• 1:31:00
  just got back from Jamaican and you know she depleted that account. I drink
• 1:31:05
  a whole lot of whole lot of that's his name, bitch, his name.
• 1:31:19
  I told you I wasn't going over there messing with they wasn't going to
• 1:31:21
  McMillan mean with that being saying, now, we thank y'all, We love
• 1:31:31
  y'all, we appreciate you, We appreciate y'all. It's always and we will
• 1:31:34
  be back next week with all new episode, more foolishness, more wine,
• 1:31:42
  more motherfucking it's always in full supply, more teddies nigga you said earlier,
• 1:31:51
  But bye y'all, Bye see y'all teddies, thank you fucking up the whole
• 1:32:01
  thing to nick Ship