Latest / MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose / Episode 127: A Compassionate Jesus in a Chaotic Season with Sherri Hughes-Gragg

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Episode 127: A Compassionate Jesus in a Chaotic Season with Sherri Hughes-Gragg · MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

• 0:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is Cynthia Gannoff, and you are listening to the mesmerized podcast.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey friends, welcome to podcast.
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: So glad you're with us today.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, you guys know that I love to read Christmas passages over us this time a month because he doesn't need to hear God's word and they are so meaningful.
• 0:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so today I'm going to read a little prophecy from Isaiah chapter nine.
• 0:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Are you ready?
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: For to us, a child is born to us, a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders, and he will be called wonderful counselor, mighty God, everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to read that to you again.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: These are the names of Jesus.
• 0:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Are you ready?
• 0:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Wonderful counselor, mighty God, everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
• 0:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: of the greatness of His government and peace, there will be no end.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness.
• 1:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: From that time on and forever, the zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.
• 1:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's amazing.
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love these different descriptors of Jesus, especially Prince of Peace.
• 1:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is the second week of Advent.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're listening to this as when we're releasing it,
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it is peace.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: That is what the focus is this week.
• 1:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I know peace feels distant for so many of us, for so many reasons.
• 1:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so just to remind her that, yeah, that's what Jesus brings our lives and for not feeling that peace, that this is opportunity to slow down.
• 1:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's been time and God's word.
• 1:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: And remember that he is the Prince of Peace.
• 1:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, now.
• 1:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: The least peaceful thing in the entire United States is where I'm going this week.
• 1:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to New York with Kate.
• 1:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so excited.
• 1:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're listening to this again, as it's coming out, then Kate and I are in New York, we're going with her friend and her mom, and we're so excited to do this.
• 2:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's been a few days.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if you don't follow me on social, make sure that you go and find at Cynthia Yanol.
• 2:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm gonna post some pictures guys.
• 2:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm obsessed with the Rockefeller tree obsessed and so it sends me there every every year or two I have to go see that tree and Kate's like let's go.
• 2:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's where I will be this week so excited and then today though We're talking with Sherry Hughes Greg and she has a book out called the Compassion at Christ and it's 31-day Devo drawn near to the risen Christ and Sherry has a really good word on
• 2:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: How she needed to know that Jesus is compassionate when she went through some really hard places in her life And this reminder all of us that he comes from place of compassion for us And we talk about this but some of us We've grown up in such a tradition where maybe we fear God and I do think there's a healthy fair of God But that we have a fear of God.
• 2:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: We feel like we have to perform or be good enough and
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: that knowing God is compassionate like that's an attribute I don't know about you but I don't focus on that a lot but to know that he's compassionate for us is really um it's a sweet spot to sit in and really consider.
• 3:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we're gonna talk about that today.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm on other things just a little bit of parenting and a lot of other stuff so I'm so glad she's with us um it's Sherry Hughes Greg and let's kick it off.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Here we go.
• 3:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, Sherry, welcome to mesmerized.
• 3:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: How are you?
• 3:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm good, Cynthia.
• 3:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for having me.
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it's so glad you're here.
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was laughing you and I both would we start to record both turned off the heaters at our feet.
• 3:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you are in Tennessee and you said it's snowed last night.
• 3:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: What?
• 3:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I'm in Clarksville, Tennessee.
• 3:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's a little bit north of Nashville and it's snowed last night.
• 3:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's very cold today.
• 3:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think the high is 35.
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
• 3:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I have yet to figure out the insulation in my office upstairs.
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, it's just stay cold.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know my office is always cold too.
• 3:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm in Dallas and it's not that it's not nearly as cold.
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: But and we won't see snow sherry.
• 4:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is what you need to know about Dallas.
• 4:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: We will get ice and usually in January, you know, a couple times, at least January, early February, just enough to like shut down everything.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so that's that's that's the good and the bad of Dallas.
• 4:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 4:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk Christmas in holidays.
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, because we're getting close.
• 4:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: You have raised five kids.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is that correct?
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's right.
• 4:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I did.
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I survived it.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know.
• 4:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: How old is your youngest?
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's 22.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and they all just like, what's the span?
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: The oldest one's 30.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So at some point I had five children like 10 and under 12 and under.
• 4:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
• 4:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's such a blur.
• 4:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can remember bits and pieces of them being so small, but the three youngest, two of my daughters, adopted from Haiti, and so the three youngest were like 15, 18 months apart, you know?
• 5:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it was crazy, yeah.
• 5:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, my grandmother's also adopted a little one.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, I feel you on that.
• 5:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so I wanna know this.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you have a favorite tradition that you did like a Christmas tradition over the years?
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Um, and whether that's like something that's we've all done or think different.
• 5:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to start with telling you mine.
• 5:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I give you a second.
• 5:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: But this is the random tradition and it actually doesn't really involve my kids that much.
• 5:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: But my my husband one time wanted a new book like we're at Barnes and Noble.
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it was like, I
• 5:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, like the month or four Christmas.
• 5:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know about you, but like, if it's after October 1st, I'm like, yeah, it's for Christmas, we'll wrap it, whatever.
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And some like, okay, yeah, grab the book, but I'm gonna wrap it.
• 5:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's like, no, I wanna read it now and my mom and dad were there and my mom's like, I'll get it for you.
• 5:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then he's like, well, get you a book.
• 5:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: So they bought each other books and exchanged them.
• 5:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: And for the last 15 years, a night in December, every time we go to Barnes and Noble or whatever bookstore, and they both exchange a book.
• 5:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: And everyone else complains, we're like, why do we have to go to the book exchange?
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why do we?
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: But they buy each other book and it all started because I was too cheap to let them have a book because I thought we should wrap it.
• 6:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: So there you go.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's one of my favorites random traditions that we do every year.
• 6:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: What do you guys have?
• 6:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Anything like that or anything unusual?
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: my favorite tradition that we don't do anymore because they're grown and someone would probably be injured.
• 6:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Was we did a thing called Santa Soccer and so what I would do is on the last day of school I would have all of the friends they wanted to have over and I would have have a little like
• 6:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Antlers for some people in Santa hats for others, they would divide into two teams and the teams were huge and there was no organization at all and they would play soccer and then they would come inside and decorate cookies and have hot chocolate and it was so ridiculous and so much fun and one of my favorite memories is Santa soccer.
• 7:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love that, I love that.
• 7:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, maybe I'm grandkids someday.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can ramp that back up again with all the grandkids, and that's fun, I love it.
• 7:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, let's talk about something else Christmas.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you have a gift this year?
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we're just gonna assume that your people aren't gonna listen to this, but if they are, then they'll not to.
• 7:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you have a gift this year that you're excited to give?
• 7:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like you're like, man, nailed it on this one.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: And again, I had time to pre-think some of this, so I'll give mine first.
• 7:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: You get to the age where you just get excited when you actually think of something because as your kids get older, like I still have a little one, but my older ones, it's hard.
• 7:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I have one in college and one in law school.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think it's so hard to like think of something fun and different.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so my middle son, he's in college and I know for a fact he won't listen to this.
• 7:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we're good.
• 7:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: He loves the country artist Cody Johnson and Cody Johnson is going to be at the Houston Rodeo on his birthday literally performing and so my son goes to college very close to that So I bought him Cody Johnson tickets for he for him to go and his girlfriend and I'm like look at mom I did it.
• 8:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: I did it
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you know, you know, he'll probably open it and be like, I already bought those tickets, but whatever my husband will go if not, but that's my one gift I think I'm fairly excited about.
• 8:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm pretty sure I nailed it.
• 8:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: What about you?
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: What you got?
• 8:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, wow.
• 8:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I don't feel like I have anything very fun because they give me lists of things they want.
• 8:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And, but I will say something, it's not exciting and fun, like Cody Johnson, but my middle daughter is a nursing school and she's working really hard.
• 8:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And last year, I gave her her first stethoscope and this year, she asked for some various like books and study tools and things like that to help her and this, she's just determined to excel and she's doing it and I'm just so proud of her.
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I got her things to help her succeed in nursing school.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
• 9:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: She just wants to do it so well.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's fun.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, we get the list too.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: My kids are not nearly as thoughtful as yours and what they want, mine are like the Amazon list.
• 9:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, what is this?
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: A new watch band and Rando stuff.
• 9:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Alright, and then the other question I had for you, as a mom of five, best or worst parenting advice you've given or gotten.
• 9:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't matter, you get to pick, best or worse.
• 9:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was thinking about, I always say some of the worst parenting advice I ever received was like, you have to win every battle when they're little.
• 9:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because if you don't have control by the time they're three, what do you think it's going to be like when they're 13?
• 9:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, oh my gosh, the pressure.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: And now I'm like, that's not true.
• 9:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: My kids, I had some wild toddlers and little ones, and they were fine, so they got older.
• 9:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: But anything, best or worst advice you've gotten or you would give?
• 9:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think the best advice, I really changed over the course of my parenting, you know, when I started out, I feel like there was a lot of fear in my parenting and I was hearing a lot of messages in the church, I was in that I had to be just this incredibly strict disciplinary and that if my kids were out of line, then that was not just terrible for their future, but it was a reflection of me and I think I ended up being way too hard on
• 10:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: you know as that during that time.
• 10:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so my best parenting advice is when I hit my sweet spot, it was when I began to focus on Jesus's great commandment to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself.
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I decided to use that as my plumb line for everything.
• 10:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so no
• 10:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: is that comes up that works and you know and it's pointing them toward a deeper meaning and purpose behind their behavior rather than you just follow my rules you know so that's the advice I would give take a breath your children or human beings they're going to make their own decisions
• 11:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: for everything they do, your job is to lovingly point them to Jesus and point them how they can be honoring a family of the world and love others.
• 11:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's my advice.
• 11:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's good.
• 11:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Boy, that will completely change how you parent.
• 11:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because I too, I've had the benefit of have older kids and now I have a little one again and it's so different this next round.
• 11:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I'm more relaxed and yes, I'm more tired.
• 11:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And yes, I probably need to step it up in a lot of ways.
• 11:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: However, I do think to your point once I started
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: finding my identity, stopped finding my identity and my kids and like everything bad they did was an indictment on me and bad by I mean just not even bad but just didn't quite hit the cultural mark so to speak and then every great thing they did I was like whoa that's a pretty good parent and you know that's humbling that you'll get humbled out of that real fast and so it is
• 12:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: To know that your kids are, you know, they are great, but they're also sinful individual kids that will make their own decisions and that's
• 12:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: the Holy Spirit's work, not mine.
• 12:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, yes.
• 12:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Such a good work.
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 12:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk about, you have a new book out called, you guys.
• 12:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's called the Compassionate Christ, drawn near to the risen Christ.
• 12:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: The Compassionate Christ.
• 12:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was thinking about, you know, all the attributes that we know about Christ and focusing, I did a lot of this this last year, focusing on the different attributes.
• 12:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: and compassion is not one that naturally comes to my mind which I am so thankful that you wrote a book on this and so obviously whenever you write a book on something as a girl who's written a couple books I know that there's a story behind it so what kind of led you down this journey to explore that?
• 13:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well I grew up as a pastor's daughter in a very conservative determination and there were a lot of things I took out of that there were really great for me
• 13:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I can find my way around a Bible.
• 13:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 13:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: But whether there was such a focus on writing wrong and and I like for instance, we had very strict rules around, you can go to movies, you can go to dances.
• 13:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, like on and on, there were a lot of ways to mess up.
• 13:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so,
• 13:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I believe that came from a sincere place of wanting people to live in a way that honored God, but what happened in my mind was I began to be afraid of God from a very young age.
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so,
• 14:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I remember as a four year old, I made my decision to fall across because I was afraid to go to sleep on a Sunday night.
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: After a Sunday school lesson, I was afraid to close my eyes because I thought I might die and go to hell.
• 14:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so that was sort of like the ground work of my,
• 14:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: faith, which faith is not even the right word.
• 14:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not faith, you know.
• 14:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so even after I began to learn that that wasn't right, I really still struggle that my first import pulse towards God was one of fear.
• 14:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And in the meantime, it's like in my 40s I guess late 30s early 40s, I had began learning about studying scriptures through the cultural and historical
• 14:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: nerdy thing.
• 14:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so one day I was just so frustrated with this really bondage in my life that I just prayed and asked God to heal me and he led me to read the gospel's using those new tools.
• 15:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I began to see this thing repeated over and over that Jesus' heart was moved with compassion for people.
• 15:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And as I really began to pay attention to who he really was and the way he interacted with the men and women, he encountered, especially taking that cultural and historical lens and putting that on those stories, I realized he was so much kinder and more compassionate than I ever imagined.
• 15:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it changed my life.
• 15:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: What's give us an example, like maybe one of your favorite stories that actually shows like in the Gospels or wherever of the compassion that you see in Jesus.
• 15:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there's so many to choose from.
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's it's sort of difficult, but one of the ones I cover in my book that I
• 16:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: return to over and over, I titled Beauty for Ashes, and it's the story of the widow who had lost her only son.
• 16:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And to really understand how devastating that is is you have to understand that in her culture, she was really dependent upon a man and her life to offer protection and provision.
• 16:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that widow was very vulnerable, and that's why there was such a push in the early church to provide for them.
• 16:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: But families lived communally, and as long as her son was living, she had a place in her husband's family, and she would have provision and protection.
• 16:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: So the day she loses her only son, it's not only the compounded devastation of losing a husband and a son.
• 16:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Her whole world was suddenly in a very precarious position.
• 17:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so what I love about that story is Jesus encounters her as she's in the funeral procession to go place her son in his grave.
• 17:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he resurrects her son.
• 17:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: He returns him to his mother.
• 17:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the first thing he does Cynthia is he goes and comforts her.
• 17:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't cry.
• 17:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: He says to her.
• 17:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's drawn to her in her suffering and her grief.
• 17:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I need to know about Jesus.
• 17:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I need to know that in the moment, my life is in the ashes that he is drawn to me in those moments.
• 17:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you, you've talked openly about the fact you've had some, what you probably consider, ashes, moments in life, haven't we all?
• 17:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know that you've had a fight with cancer, so things like that, talk to us about it.
• 17:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Did you already kind of done this work and you felt that compassionate side of Jesus before you walked through some of the hard you've been through, or was that kind of during it, or is a result of walking through hard?
• 18:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Wow, so I had done a lot of that work, but I will tell you that the moment my life went into the ashes, everything was just sort of taken down to ground zero and redefined.
• 18:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what you need to understand is cancer, of course, is always devastating.
• 18:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, you know, it's always
• 18:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: breast cancer, especially for women, I think, is just devastating.
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: But what you have to understand is I don't go into details about why my marriage ended, but I just will say that it had broken me over and over for 32 years.
• 18:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when it finally reached the point that it was going to end, then the divorce was brutal.
• 18:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember, at toward the end of that thinking,
• 19:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I really don't know if I'm going to survive this.
• 19:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I really don't.
• 19:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And but I started got to the end and it looked like it was going to wrap up.
• 19:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember thinking soon, I'm going to be able to grieve and rest and begin to put myself finally after all this time, begin to put myself back together.
• 19:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the day after I signed papers, I was diagnosed with cancer.
• 19:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Wow, wow.
• 19:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: really was hurt.
• 19:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, that's the only way I know that my so silly but I was so hurt that this God that I loved and that I had trusted and believed all these things about that he would allow this fresh season of suffering that what I discovered is that when we are at our end, he shows us compassion and he reaches out to us in new ways.
• 20:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I discovered him to be more compassionate yet again in brand new ways as he walked with me through that season.
• 20:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and yeah, I know you can speak to this, too, that
• 20:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: We never wish any of us on ourselves, right, on anybody, on divorce and cancer, all those things.
• 20:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I just think though of the hardest places I've walked and how I know Jesus so differently because of it, and I don't want to say, like, oh, I would do it all again, I wish everybody could walk that.
• 20:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I wouldn't say that, but I would also say if there was a way,
• 20:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: that you could know Jesus without that level of suffering, then that would be amazing.
• 20:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: But that's just not how it works.
• 20:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And there is those places of suffering where you have to endure and you have to walk, but on the other side of it, oh my gosh, that fresh perspective, Jesus, it's something you wouldn't otherwise have.
• 20:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it gift in so many ways, right?
• 20:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
• 20:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 21:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 21:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I agree.
• 21:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I can't say I would go choose any of that.
• 21:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 21:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I can't say that.
• 21:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: But what I love about Jesus is he is a God of restoration.
• 21:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
• 21:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he...
• 21:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: He...
• 21:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't believe you know when you have cancer people say crazy things to you.
• 21:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: No for sure.
• 21:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And one of the crazy things they say as well God has a purpose and I don't believe that I don't believe that God gives anyone cancer you know what I believe is because we're living a broken place really bad things happen down here.
• 21:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: But that God will come to us in that and he will not leave us in that and he will bring
• 21:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: if we allow him to do that.
• 21:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what it means to love a God of Restoration.
• 21:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, yeah.
• 22:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, I, and I love that and I, I love that you're speaking to that.
• 22:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I, I, I, agree.
• 22:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think God causes all these things that happen.
• 22:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: But in the midst of it, to find the attribute of who he is and I remember when I was going through something really difficult, I remember saying, okay, I can either question God or I can just start praying in this moment, don't let me miss it, God.
• 22:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, whatever it is you have from me, this don't let me miss it.
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like he honored that prayer and I think that's a prayer he will honor is whatever it is if I'm going to walk this road don't let me miss what it is like a clear picture of you, a clear picture of your empathy and towards others, a clear picture of other people suffering so that I can speak into that later and so just that opportunity to take
• 22:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: to take in the midst of the bad, these glimpses of Jesus.
• 22:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I love that that's what you're writing about.
• 22:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: This compassionate Christ.
• 22:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so you talked about growing up in a faith where you felt fear towards God.
• 22:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I also grew up in a very, very faith-filled home, and very conservative denomination.
• 23:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I didn't feel, I did feel some fear.
• 23:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was saying that like being scared to go to bed.
• 23:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I remember being scared sometimes,
• 23:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: that like, if there was a real pretty sunset, I'd be like, oh my goodness, what if Jesus comes back and I haven't been baptized yet?
• 23:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have, you know, some of those.
• 23:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I did have some of that, but what I remember the most is just feeling that sense of needing to be good enough.
• 23:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: That the Lord would then be able to honor my life or do good things for me or blessings, and so which I think led to in a lot of ways This a sense of striving and wanting to feeling I needed to perform or to be good enough now listen.
• 23:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have
• 23:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: a personality that's a striver anyway I'm not blaming that all on just growing up a certain way but that didn't help it and so I'm curious what would you say to the person who maybe doesn't have a fear of God but just always doesn't think they're good enough or doing enough or they're looking around at all the other Christians that are writing a book like you and I write books or they're on a stage or they're you know on a mission trip and I like man I don't have what it takes or you know how could the Lordship favor on me I need to be
• 24:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yes, well, I too am a striver, I'm a hustler, you know, and I think what I would like to say is that it's not what we do is who we are, and I think that when we are focusing on I have to be this this and this for God, then we're missing the fact that redemption is always a work of grace and everything.
• 24:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: as far as faith is a work of grace.
• 24:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: We can't even love him unless he draws us to himself.
• 24:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm reminded of learning about redemption from Luke 15, and I studied this with Kenneth Bailey.
• 25:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: He was a Middle Eastern Theologian in Scholar.
• 25:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I don't know about you, Cynthia, but growing up, this is the
• 25:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: the definition of repentance I learned is that you see what you're doing as your own.
• 25:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're going the wrong way.
• 25:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're sorry for it and you turn around and go the right way.
• 25:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's what I was taught.
• 25:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, Bailey says that's not the definition of repentance and he offers us three parables.
• 25:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: One is a shepherd who's lost his sheep and a woman who's lost her queen.
• 25:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then a father who goes to great lengths to save a lost son.
• 25:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so what Bailey says is this, the definition of repentance is this, a willingness to be found and brought home.
• 25:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it's not us.
• 26:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not about what we're doing.
• 26:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now I believe that we are supposed to be
• 26:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: living lives on our God and doing good in the world.
• 26:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I believe we're to love God and love our neighbor and I think we're to be active in that.
• 26:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's how we bring the good kingdom of God down to earth.
• 26:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it's not so that we can be good enough for God is so that we can join him in what he's doing in the restoration of this earth.
• 26:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I just would love for them to know that they are covered with love and compassion exactly where they are.
• 26:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: They can just be willing to be found by God and brought home.
• 26:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then go forth and help him bring his kingdom down to earth.
• 26:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a willingness to be found.
• 26:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've never heard that and that's incredible.
• 26:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love that so much.
• 26:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: How would that change if you're raising kids right now?
• 26:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: How would that change?
• 26:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: How you parent your kids and really thinking back to how you and I both kind of grew up?
• 27:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Best advice for someone listening to this that's like, ah, am I doing this to my kids?
• 27:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Am I teaching my kids that they need to be fearful of God?
• 27:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Am I teaching my kids?
• 27:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I need to strive or perform.
• 27:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, how would you maybe, what would you're messaging me if you were raising kids in your home right now?
• 27:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: How would you tweak that to give this different look at God?
• 27:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, so I just will say Cynthia, that if I could turn back the clock 30 years and do some of that parenting over, I would.
• 27:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: you know.
• 27:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that the main thing is that I would stop feeling the need to force my child into a certain thing of what they should do or who they should be but instead that I would appeal to their heart that I would talk to them more about how precious they were to God and and of course I did that but
• 27:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: when you are parenting in a punitive way that is shame-based, it's hard to hold on to the truth that God thinks you're amazing.
• 28:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and that is the main thing.
• 28:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would change how I spoke to them around their failures, that it's not something to be ashamed of, but it's something to be healed.
• 28:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and I believe that's true of any sin in our life.
• 28:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: that it's a place that God wants to bring us healing, sin is a wound, it's a wound to ourselves, it's a wound to others, and God wants to heal it.
• 28:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I just would change all of my verbiage around all of that.
• 28:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And hopefully, they would know beyond all doubt that God loves them and wants what's good for them.
• 28:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 28:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: And back to the point of your book you've written, your devotional is that
• 28:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: If our kids could really see that he's compassionate, that changes everything, versus he's judgmental.
• 28:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now he does have judgment.
• 28:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: There is truth that I want my kids to know truth that there are consequences for sin and there is ultimate judgment.
• 29:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yet at the same time he is compassionate and he is kind and he is for us.
• 29:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think about the adoption I write about this and my book is about to come out, but I write about adopting a little one and you've adopted two and how, you know, when I adopted him, my favorite part was getting the new birth certificate in the judge, you know, gave us and took the old one and they have a new one and it's chain, you know, that's his new identity with his new name, with our family's name on it.
• 29:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it really resonated with me later, thinking about the fact that, like,
• 29:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: When J.B. Argyoung is when he does things that I don't approve of, which is often, and he doesn't act the way I'd hoped and all things like, I don't go back and pull out the old burser certificate and get out of the safe and be like, well, we're back to the old burser certificate.
• 29:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, no, this is the new and this is his new identity, right?
• 29:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: And his identity isn't based on his behavior.
• 29:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's how it is with Jesus, like we are adopted into his family, and our identity is determined, and our behavior doesn't change our identity.
• 30:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And are there consequences when my kid out does things?
• 30:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's consequences like I want the best for him, but his identity is sealed.
• 30:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that helps me as I parent this, but also look at it in my own life.
• 30:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay, it's not behavior driven, which is what I think I grew up thinking.
• 30:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so,
• 30:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's compassionate, he's kind, he loves us, he's for us, for his children, and so it's a much-needed word, especially I feel like as we're in Christmas time, and this week, as we're releasing this, it's Advent peace, this is the week of peace.
• 30:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I do think, and I'd love us to kind of wrap on this, we live in turmoil in a tumultuous culture, and hopefully as believers, we don't have that same level,
• 30:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Um, lack of peace so often that even the world feels especially, but
• 30:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: As we're thinking through Advent, we're thinking through peace, and we're thinking through Christmas, and Jesus coming, and all that has to happen the next few weeks, especially as moms and wives and believers and all that, what would be your word, and what would you speak into us on just finding that peace, and how maybe even how compassion speaks into that, but give us an encouragement for someone who's feeling stressed, or someone who's fearful, or even discouraged, going into Christmas, when all the emotions feel high, what's here, and what's your word
• 31:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: piece over us.
• 31:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think my word of peace would be that first of all, that God loves us, and He does have compassion for us, that He's not displeased looking down at us, because He loves us.
• 31:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I think that something that really brings me peace is this, is realizing
• 31:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: to fix everyone, not even the people in my own home.
• 31:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's my job to love them, it's my job to love God.
• 32:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it's not even my job to handle everything that is wrong in the world.
• 32:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not saying that I'm call it to be callously unconcerned about it.
• 32:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't mean that.
• 32:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I think there's a real danger with this 24-hour news cycle we have that we are just bombarded with,
• 32:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: so much that we can't even begin to touch, we can't do anything about it in it robes us of our peace.
• 32:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I love the idea that we are given a little bit of creation like our garden in Eden to nurture.
• 32:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's what we're touching is where we live, it's the people we are around.
• 32:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we are to love those people in nurture,
• 32:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: that little part of creation to the glory of God.
• 32:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when I take it down to that smaller, that that's what God's entrusted to me.
• 32:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: God's God, he's got all of the rest of it, you know.
• 33:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: But just to do what he placed in front of me and to do it faithfully.
• 33:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: then I can have peace and leave the rest in his hands so that's a minute by minute sometimes for us and especially in this kind of season it's a minute by minute reminder hour by hour like what is it in this next hour how do I love God well and love people well right and and and I don't need to worry about all the other things and
• 33:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's a good word.
• 33:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's almost like Jesus knew when he said, don't worry about tomorrow.
• 33:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Today has enough problems at its own.
• 33:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: He said, minute by minute, hour by hour, do the things in front of you.
• 33:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: So great word.
• 33:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you guys, it's Cherie Hughes, Greg, and they book, it's a 31-day divo, the compassionate Christ, draw near to the risen Christ.
• 33:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was thinking that what a great,
• 33:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: gift.
• 33:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: This would be to give a Christmas because it'd be great to start in January too.
• 33:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, start at any time people.
• 33:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I was thinking this is a really good gift.
• 33:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because who, who of us doesn't think in the new year like, you know what, I need to be drawn.
• 33:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Drawing nearer to the Lord.
• 34:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, to great book.
• 34:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And thanks for spending time with us today.
• 34:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for having me, Cynthia.
• 34:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
• 34:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: So fun.
• 34:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, and enjoy the snow on behalf of the Texans.
• 34:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Would you please at least throw a one snowball or something?
• 34:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do a snow angel.
• 34:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Get crazy out there, Sherry, because we're not going to get that experience.
• 34:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
• 34:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: I will do my best, but I don't want to be cold, so I don't know.
• 34:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right.
• 34:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
• 34:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
• 34:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, a big thanks to Sherry for being on the show.
• 34:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I so appreciate it.
• 34:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you can find a link to her book in Show Notes.
• 34:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Make sure you're following me on social and I will give you updates from New York City at Christmas time.
• 34:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And Kate Janoff, who apparently thinks there's literally no budget constraints, has made a million reservations and has everything planned out.
• 34:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we are going everywhere from the Tavern on the Green to see the Rockefeller Tree to some fabulous hot chocolate
• 34:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: in Rockefeller to other reservations I've never heard of a place as she thought we should try and it is going to be a blast I'm so excited so I will keep you posted on that and I hope everybody that you are having a good December I know there's a lot of hard and heavy in it too but he's the principal piece and so it's been time with the Lord and enjoy your last few weeks before Christmas all right guys thanks for being a part of the mesmerized family you're the very best
• 35:25
  [UNKNOWN]: You